TELEVISION TITLE
Thaddeus Duke
- vs -
BigD Ladder Match
Saturday Night Savage is now live, and is about to get underway when outside influences seem to have again taken control and then......
flashes across the screen. Then from the back walks out Antony The Jerk, the manager of the yet unseen Misfits.
He stops at the top of the ramp and waits for the audience to stop their booing. He then starts speaking.
"I know I have promised you all the arrival of my clients, but I can now confirm that at the Relentless Pay Per View, I will be unveiling two members of the Misfits then. I know you all can't wait to see who I have lined up to become the new faces of the XWF. The waiting is almost over. So I'll see you all at Relentless,"
With that Antony drops the microphone and he heads back stage.
"Box Office" Brian O'Haire
- vs -
Michael McBride Singles
”The following contest is set for one fall!”
”Introducing first, weighing in at 205 pounds and hailing from Wicklow, Ireland… MICHAAAAAEL MCBRIIIIIIDE!!!”
Michael rockets down to the ring on a custom built rocket that’s made to look like a pint of foaming lager! Michael has trouble stopping the rocket and crashes into the apron. Beer splashes and spills into the ring and even soaks some of the fans in the upper most front row. As the mist clears, we find McBride standing in the ring waiting for the match to begin.
”And his opponent, weighing in at 235 pounds and hailing from Hollywood California… “BOX OFFICE” BRIAN O’HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIRE!!!”
“Box Office” Brian O’Haire is driven down to the ring in a golf cart that’s decked out with his logos. Once at ringside, his driver steps out and holds the ropes for him to enter the ring.
O'Haire wastes no time whatsoever and takes the fight to his front door step. Like a deer in the headlights, McBride looks on as O'Haire charges towards him, hesitating and not really quite sure what to do. He fakes left, and then runs straight ahead, only to collide into O'Haire who hasn’t fallen for his fake. Slamming both hands into McBride’s chest, O'Haire launches McBride backwards into the air, slamming him into the corner. McBride’s jaw drops to the floor in shock at what O'Haire did to him and before he knows it, O'Haire kicks his leg up from the mat and drives his foot into McBride’s stomach. With McBride buckled over, O'Haire begins hitting him over and over across the back with rapid forearms. Pulling him away and to the center of the ring, he wrapped him up before lifting him into the air and driving him into the canvas with a snap suplex. The impact forced a scream from McBride’s mouth, enough to bring a smile to O'Haire’s face as he made the cover.
ONE!
TWO!
SHOULDER UP!!!!
”Brian O’Haire has taken control of this match early on by using his size advantage to the fullest, but Micheal McBride isn’t about to go down that easily!”
”Maybe not, but do you really think McBride can combat the destructiveness of “Box Office” Brian O’Haire?”
Minutes went by as O'Haire remained in control of the match, tossing McBride around the ring and striking him fiercely whenever the opportunity presented itself, which just so happened to be quite often. In brief moments before O'Haire would either hit him or slam him to the mat. In desperation, McBride threw a wild right at O'Haire’s head, failing miserably as O'Haire ducked underneath and delivered a powerful punch to McBride’s stomach. Turning McBride around, O'Haire wrapped him up before lifting him off his feet. With McBride up in the air and moments away from being T-bone suplexed to the mat, he somehow managed to slip out of O'Haire’s arms, McBride defied his fate of being slammed to the mat as he landed to his feet with O'Haire crashing down empty handed.
”Say what you will about Michael McBride’s record, but he is a wiley veteran and all of that experience that he’s accumulated over the years just paid off!”
”that’s a fair point Pip, but the real question is, can he capitalize?”
With O'Haire on his back, McBride leaped into the air before falling straight down onto him. Throwing lefts and rights, McBride connected with a few punches, although managed to deflect way more. He then began to press O'Haire’s face with his fingers, pushing his cheeks inward and making his face look fat. Throwing his arm up, O'Haire connected with a blow to the side of McBride’s head, knocking him off and over to the side of him. O'Haire was back on his feet before McBride who was still down, holding the side of his head and massaging it. Pacing the ring, O'Haire kept a close eye on McBride as he slowly began to climb to his feet. Once McBride stood, O'Haire then rushed in, kicking his leg up from the mat and aiming it directly for McBride’s skull. Out of nowhere, McBride dropped to his knees as O'Haire’s foot passed over his head. The momentum from the kick caused O'Haire to move past McBride but he wasn’t able to get far. Quickly, McBride turned around and grabbed him by the back of the tights, pulling him backwards to the mat for a quick roll up. The official slid in beside them with the count. O'Haire’s feet kicked back and forth frantically.
ONE!
TWO!
KICKOUT!
McBride grabs a fist full of hair to pull O’Haire to his feet.
”BRIAN O’HAIRE WITH THE INSIDE CRADLE!”
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
Winner by Pinfall - “Box Office” Brian O’Haire!
Vita Valenteen
- vs -
Jason Rayne Singles
”The following contest is set for one fall!”
”Introducing first, weighing in at 112 pounds and hailing from Toronto, Canada… “VICIOUS” VIIIIIIIIITA VALENTEEEEEEEEEEEN!!!”
The opening riffs of “Vicious” begin to play as the crowd breaks out into a chorus of boos. VV walks out onto the stage and and postures for the crowd, soaking up their jeers as if it's the ultimate sign of support. She makes her way down the ramp, ignoring the outreached hands of any fans she still has along the way. VV the heads up the steps and walks along the outside apron. She grabs the top rope with both hands and springboards into the ring where she tucks and rolls before settling on a couched, almost ninja like pose. VV flexes her biceps as the crowd continues to boo. She stands up, laughing off the crowd as she prepares for the match to start.
”And her opponent, weighing in at 255 pounds and hailing from Colorado Springs, Colorado… “JASON RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYNE”
Jason Rayne walks out to the top of the stage where he stops to stare a hole through Vita Valenteen before finally making his way down the ramp and into the ring.
After the bell sounds, Vita Valenteen and Jason Rayne make a mad rush towards each other. Rayne throws a right hook but his arm is caught as Valenteen locks onto it and sends him flying across the ring with an arm drag. Valenteen is back to her feet followed by Rayne. Rayne takes a moment to size up the much smaller Valenteen before moving in again. The two tie up in a collar and elbow, but VV doesn’t stand much of a chance here as Rayne hits her with a stiff headbutt and pulls her up over his head with a press. Rayne then eyes the announce table on the outside as a sadistac grin forms on his face before taking off running and hurling Vita Valenteen through the air!
”Oh shit, look out!”
”Brace yourself!”
TTTHHHUUUDDD!!!
Valenteen crashes onto the top of the announce table, landing on her shoulder, but the table doesn’t give way. The official begins his ten count from inside of the ring as Vita Valenteen slowly comes to her senses. Climbing through the ropes, Jason Rayne steps out onto the apron before backing up to the end of one side. As VV slowly pushes herself off the table and down to her feet, Rayne runs along the apron and then leaps off. Flying through the air, he collides into Valenteen with a lariat, slamming her back into the announcers table. Again, the official begins his ten count now that both competitors are on the outside of the ring. After ramming Vita into the side of the table over and over, Rayne then throws her in the opposite direction, shoulder first into the side of the ring! He then lifts Vita up from the floor and rolls her into the ring before climbing onto the apron and entering himself, ending the officials count at nine.
”This match is already off to a brutal start, but you have to wonder how much the official is going to let these two get away with tonight?”
Rayne’s foot gets caught on the ropes and he nearly trips. The crowd begins to give him shit for the error which pulls his attention away from Vita, allowing her to pop back to her feet and rush in, hitting Rayne in the back of the head with a running elbow smash. With Jason backed against the ropes, Vita then unloads with rapid forearms to the back of his head. Vita then grabs a fist full of hair and guides him to the corner where she slams his head crashing into the top turnbuckle, knocking him backwards across the ring. Rayne sets his feet in the center of the ring and as he looks up, Valenteen is right in front of him, closing in and leveling him with a step up enzuigiri. Rayne’s back hits the mat and he bounces back to his feet, only to get hit with a right to the side of the head. With his left hand, Valenteen locks onto Rayne’s wrist and whips him into the corner before diving in with a handspring back elbow that manages to take the bigger man off his feet.
”It’s surprising to see Vita Valenteen going for the knockout blows here tonight.”
”It’s not the wisest strategy when your opponent out weighs you by over a hundred pounds, but it seems to be working for her!”
Pulling Rayne to his feet, Valenteen grabs his head and spins into a neckbreaker to put him back to the mat. Rolling across the ring, Rayne stops just in front of the corner where he slowly begins to pull himself to his feet using the ropes. before he stands completely, Valenteen is right there, jerking him up and off the ground. She rushes in with a flurry of wild chops and strikes, backing Rayne into the corner. As Rayne is backed to the corner with nowhere to go, Vita climbs to the middle rope and begins hitting him with multiple punches to the head as the crowd counts along. After connecting with half a dozen, Valenteen takes a step back, planting her foot before bursting forward and throwing a thunderous superkick for Rayne’s head. Ducking underneath and stepping behind Valenteen, Rayne dodges the vicious potential match ending punch. Looking in the opposite direction, Rayne readies himself as Valenteen quickly turns around to face him. Rayne spins around, kicking Valenteen in the stomach with a swift and precise blow. He then hooks her arm over the back of his neck and powers her up into a vertical suplex only to shift it mid air into a vicious powerbomb!
”OOHHH!!!”
”Jason Rayne has taken a lot of Vita’s offense here, but that powerbomb has just changed the flow of the match to his favor!”
Jason stands Valenteen back to her feet and locks onto Valenteen’s wrist. Rayne then pulls her away from the corner and whips her across the ring. NO! Reversing the throw, Valenteen sends Rayne to the opposite corner instead before chasing closely behind him. Planting both hands on the top ropes at the corner, Rayne pushes himself up into a handstand before pushing himself away from the corner. He clears over top of Vita as Valenteen slams into the corner as he lands on his feet behind her. Spinning around and throwing a wild back fist, Valenteen misses as Rayne leans back just enough to avoid contact to the face. Rayne hits Valenteen underneath the chin with a stiff uppercut, knocking her into the corner.
Rayne steps out of the way, giving the big man some room as he falls face first to the mat. With his foot, Rayne pushes and rolls Valenteen over to her back before looking to the corner. Climbing to the top, he stands high above the ring as the crowd grows louder and louder. Looking over the crowd, Rayne takes a deep breath before bouncing up and down. On his second bounce, he leaps backwards and away from the corner, flipping backwards and coming down onto Valenteen’s chest with a moonsault!
”MOONSAU–“
”NNOOO!!!”
Vita managed to roll out of the way at the very last second, causing Rayne to crash and burn! Vita is slow to get to her feet, but still manages to beat Rayne up. She stumbles over to him and leans over to pull him up, but Rayne grabs her head and rolls her into a pin!
ONE!
TWO!
THR–
Popping a shoulder up from the mat, Valenteen breaks the officials count. Rayne argues with the official for a moment claiming that was a THREE. Vita doesn’t show any signs of life as Jason stands up and stalks over her. He lightly kicks at her arm, testing the waters, before finally jumping high into the air and crashing down with all 255 pounds across her chest in the form of an elbow drop! He then repositions himself and lays his back across the fallen VV for the pinfall.
ONE!
TWO!
THR-
”Vita Valenteen is refusing to stay down!”
”You’d almost have to respect her if it weren’t for her attitude as of late!”
Jason jumps to hit feet in a fit of anger and jumps out of the ring. He searches under the ring for a moment as the official starts the 10 count. Finally, he pulls out a table and sets it up at ringside.
"Things are about to get Xtreme!"
"Yeah, but this isn't the smartest play. This isn't an Xtreme rules match!"
Jason jumps up on the apron, but he didn't notice that VV had recovered until she planted both feet square into his chest with a shotgun dropkick! Jason flies off the apron and crashes through the table outside!
"I think the official is going to allow it since Jason brought the table into play!"
VV rolls out of the ring and throws Jason in through the bottom rope. She hops up on the apron and begins stomping her foot in an attempt to wake Jason up. Eventually he makes it to his feet, only turn turn right into..
EAT DEFEAT!!!
He's rocked by the springboard dropkick and flips a full 180, landing on his head for a second before toppling over! VV jumps back to her feet as Jason struggles to get to his. She shoves his head into her crotch and calls for the finish.
"I'M THE BEST PURE WRESTLER IN THE WORLD!"
VV flips over Jason, bringing his head crashing to the mat with a Canadian Destroyer!
"Holy Shit, I can't believe she landed that on such a large competitor!"
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
Winner by pinfall - "Vicious" Vita Valenteen!
Noah Jackson
- vs -
Mastermind Xtreme Rules
”The following match will be contested under XTREME RULES!!!”
”Introducing first, hailing from Wellington, New Zealand and weighing in at a cool 200 pounds…MASTER-MIIIIIIINNNND!!!”
The lights go out, and when they come back on, Mastermind is seen on top of the top right hand corner of the ring, and acknowledges the crowd before climbing back down.
”And his opponent, hailing from Melbourne, Australia and weighing in at 210 pounds…The self proclaimed Hardest Worker in the XWF, You all know him as the sickest cunt on the block! NOAH JAAAAAAAACKSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!”
Noah Jackson runs onto the ramp with a burst of energy, taunting to the crowds. He walks towards the ring going to high five fans before faking out and giving them a dab like a dick. He rolls into the ring and rests in his corner.
DING!!! DING!!!
Starting the match off with a bang, Noah set up Mastermind with a fake attempt at locking up, only to catch him by surprise with a swift kick to the face. The kick stunned him momentarily, just enough for Noah to then step in and lock an arm around his head before driving it into the canvas with a snap DDT. With Mastermind slowly getting up, Noah then rushed in, hitting him with a running knee and putting him back down. Running to the ropes, Noah bounced back and returned with a diving elbow across Mastermind’s body. Noah then grabbed Mastermind’s leg and hooked it for the pin.
ONE!
TWO!
KICKOUT!
Pulling Mastermind up from the mat, Noah was completely taken off guard as Mastermind erupted to his feet, hitting him right between the eyes with a headbutt.
”Mastermind just created the opening that he needed to get back into this match!”
After three open hand chops across the chest, Mastermind locked onto his arm and whipped him to the ropes. With Noah closing in from the rebound, Mastermind then took him off his feet in the blink of an eye with an enziguri. Mastermind then grabbed ahold of Noah’s right arm and stepped over as he twisted it into an unnatural position before dropping down on his shoulder with his knee.
”Mastermind working the arm here. You have to wonder if he’s targeting that arm in an effort to take the Kimura Armlock out of Noah’s arsenal?”
”Of course that’s what he’s doing Pip, and it’s a solid plan if you ask me.”
Mastermind let go and climbed to his feet, stalking Noah as he tried to roll across the ring while favoring his shoulder. Clutching Noah’s head, Mastermind then began driving knees repeatedly into the top of Noah’s head. Pushing himself up, Noah looked forward and his eyes lit up at the sight of Mastermind charging straight for him. Leaping forward, Mastermind went for a spear but missed as Noah dove out of the way. Before Mastermind could get back up, Noah had already risen to his feet and rushed in, delivering an enziguri of his own! Popping back to his feet with a kip-up, Noah circled Mastermind momentarily.
”What great back and forth action!”
”Do you have a list of generic calls that you use anytime you don’t know what to say?”
”Um… No!”
”Oh yeah, then what’s written on those cards you always bring with you?”
”... My God, Noah Jackson is disassembling Mastermind right before our very eyes!”
After methodically striking various limbs of Mastermind’s, Noah dragged him to the corner where he then slammed him against it with a snap suplex. Upon impact, Masterminds leg got caught in the turnbuckle and left him hanging in a tree of woe. On his feet, Noah began stomping on his stomach over and over, using the ropes for leverage as he stomped Mastermind completely down to the mat. Dragging Mastermind away from the corner, Noah laid him in front of the corner before climbing to the top. Looking out over the crowd, he positioned himself for The world's greatest moonsault but before he could jump, Mastermind popped back to his feet. Lunging to the corner, Mastermind went for the ropes to knock Noah off balance but was too late as Noah leapt away with a backflip over Mastermind. Landing behind Mastermind, Noah then hit him with a knee to the kidney, forcing him to buckle over.
”Quick thinking by Noah Jackson has kept the momentum in his favor!”
”For now, but one mistep and Mastermind will quickly take control of this match!”
Setting him up for a pump-handle, Noah then lifted Mastermind off his feet for the Down Thunder. Sliding out of Noah’ hold, Mastermind dropped down behind him. Wrapping him up around the waist, Mastermind then lifted him off his feet before slamming him down with a release German suplex. Both men climbed to their feet, Mastermind standing first. Stepping in, he hit Noah in the chops with a European uppercut, knocking his head back and forcing him to look up at the lights. Hitting Noah with back to back forearms, Mastermind worked him to the center of the ring before kicking him in the gut and forcing him to buckle over. Wrapping him around the waist with both arms, Mastermind then lifted him up and over, throwing him down to the mat with a German suplex. With his hold still in tact, Mastermind climbed to his feet while pulling Noah up as well. Lifting him up and over again, Mastermind slammed him down with a second German suplex. Still holding his by the waist, Mastermind slowly climbed back to his feet, pulling Noah up as well. Lifting him up again, he released mid air and threw Noah with a third German suplex! The triple German suplexes took a lot from Noah as he was unable to get back up on his own. Assisting him, Mastermind pulled him up and then lifted him off his feet, spinning him upside down. Holding him in place, Mastermind then slowly began to spin in place before jumping up while still spinning and dropping him on his head with a spinning piledriver that left Noah lifeless as Mastermind made the cover
ONE!
TWO!
Suddenly Vita Valenteen slides in and locks Noah in a headlock while hammering away with a quick flurry of punches! The official can't tell that she's pulling her shots and immediately calls for the bell! Mastermind sits up on his knees and shrugs his shoulders as he looks to the official confused as to what is happening. VV quickly rolls out of the ring with a slick smile.
Winner by DQ - Noah Jackson!
"You can't get DQ'd in an Xtreme Rules match! I'm calling shenanigans on the part of Richard Wang!"
"Pip, Xtreme rules allows weapons and fighting on the outside, but I believe that it's up to the official's discretion as to whether or not they allow outside interference!"
"That's BULL! Wang's counting his damn blood money RIGHT NOW!!!"
Sure enough, Richard Wang is counting a fat stack right there in front of everyone. Realizing what just happened, MM is furious! He grabs Wang from behind and slams him across the ring with a German suplex as dollar bills go flying into the air! MM jumps to his feet and turns his anger towards VV on the outside. He storms over to the ropes and begins threatening VV. She's running her mouth right back at him, making fun of him for allowing her to cost him his victory. Mastermind's face is beet red. He starts to turn towards Noah, ready to take his frustrations out, but VV jumps up to the apron and hits him with a forearm that really doesn't do anything outside of further piss him off. He grabs her by the throat and her eyes grow large, knowing that she's in danger, she points behind him. Firmly in control of VV, Mastermind looks behind him just in time to see Noah leap into the air off of a sprint, but doesn't have time to react!
CRACK THE SHITS!
MM toples over the ropes and crashes hard to the floor. VV climbs into the ring and gives Noah a big hug before the two retreat to the back.
"The Omega" Robert Main & "Chronic" Chris Page
- vs -
The Sugay Sisters Tag Team
“The following TAG TEAM contest is scheduled for one fall… Currently in the ring, they are the team of the SUGARY SISTERS!”
A smattering of applause from the crowd can be heard as the Sisters throw their arms up in the air for all to see.
The Atlanta crowd erupts!
“And there opponents, first about to make his way to the ring…. He represents APEX-PROPHECY, the former XWF Universal Champion…. ROBERT “THE OMEGA” MAIN!”
The eruption grows louder as MAIN emerges out to the top of the ramp where he is laser focused on the ring with him walking down the ramp with a purpose!
"First time we’ve seen the former Champion since the company allowed another briefcase cash in that was held back for years, like that’s legitimate."
"Has SHANE written all over it."
"And here I was thinking we were done with his stupidity and fuckery if that’s the case."
"Whatever the case may or may not be what we do know is that come Relentless the advertised HELL in a CELL match between ROBERT MAIN and CHRIS PAGE is out and UNKNOWN SOLDER defending the Universal Title against ROBERT MAIN is in!"
"… and buy rates just took a shit."
"That’s not yet to been seen sunshine!"
ROBERT MAIN reaches ringside where he climbs up on the ring apron staring across the ring at the SUGARY SISTERS as his music fades while MAIN steps through the ropes where he immediately charges forward takings one of the SISTER’s head off with a running boot to the face and as he turns towards the other he ducks a clothesline attempt and catches her with DEAD MAN’S HAND! An intense MAIN covers as the official slides into the place.
“ONE!!!!”
“TWO!!!!!!!!!!!”
“THREE!!!”
DING…. DING… DING……
Winners - The team of Chris Page and Robert Main!
"Do you think ROBERT MAIN is ready for RELENTLESS or what?!?!?"
"Be fair… it is the SUGARY SISTERS."
MAIN is to his feet to a huge ovation from the crowd as his arm is raised in victory. The former UNIVERSAL CHAMPION demands a microphone as he walks towards the ropes reaching through where he is handed the microphone by the ring announcer. ROBERT walks back out to the center of the ring where he raises the microphone to his lips as he intently stares into the camera as he states.
ROBERT MAIN- “SOLDIER!”
MAIN exclaims with sheer fury as the crowd quiets down for ROBERT to state.
ROBERT MAIN- “RELENTLESS you belong to me… I don’t care what stipulation you choose because regardless they all have the same endings, and that’s you looking up at the lights as I take back those three seconds you stole from me!”
ROBERT slams the microphone down on the mat to a thunderous ovation……
There’s a huge reception from the “smart” fans as all attention diverts to the top of the ramp in anticipation.
"He quit! He walked out!"
"Or did he?"
ROBERT shifts his attention to the top of the ramp as no one walks out. ROBERT is smart enough to start looking around the arena with his battles with CHRIS PAGE but there’s no movement anywhere.
"How can MAIN focus on SOLDIER if CCP is still in the equation?"
"Who says he is?"
We fade to the backstage area.
5'2 Mafia
Sarah Lacklan & Kenzi Grey
- vs -
"The" Tristan Slater & Famine of the Vile Tag
”The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is part of the semi finals of the XWF Tag Team Tournament! Introducing first, weighing in at a combined weight of exactly 500 pounds, the team of Tristan Slater and Famine of the Ville, THE UNHOOOLY ALLIAAAAAANCE!!!”
Tristan Slater and Famine of the Ville walk down to the ring to the sounds of “Cult of Personality”. The team climb into the ring and play to the fans a bit before waiting for their opponents to enter the ring.
”And their opponents, weighing in at a combined weight of 271 pounds, the team of Kenzi Grey and Sarah Grey-Lacklan, THE FIIIIIIIIIIIVE TWWWWWO MAFIAAAAA!”
The lights flicker in the arena as “Burn” by The Cure begins to play. Kenzi and Sarah Selena Lacklan walk out together. The sound of a screeching hawk is heard throughout the arena as the two execute their signature fist bump. An explosion of pyro erupts as the pair head down to the ring together.
As the bell rings both teams converse over who is going to begin the match. XWF Legend Famine of the Ville and Tristan Slater decide that Tristan should kick things off. The 5’2 Mafia, Kenzi Grey and Sarah Grey-Lacklan, decide that Kenzi Grey will be the one to start the match for their team. The two are slow to start as they circle the ring sizing each other up, Kenzi oozing with confidence and Slater looking like a mad dog ready to attack. Finally the two move in and lock up. Kenzi quickly changes positions slipping behind Slater and shoving him away as she struts away and the crowd cheers. Tristan huffs as he nervously rubs at his face, annoyed that Kenzi had just made him look foolish. Tristan charges back in and tries to lock up, but Kenzi gains the advantage rather effortlessly and drops Slater across her knee with a backbreaker. Tristan gets back to his feet and the two take a moment to size each other up again before moving in to tie up. This time it’s Tristan who gains the advantage as he hooks Kenzi’s arm and sends her flying across the ring with an arm drag. Kenzi climbs up to one knee and smiles, nodding her head before standing back up.
”Things are off to a slow start as these two try to size each other up.”
”They aren’t just sizing each other up, their trying to show one another up as well!”
The two circle again before tying up. Kenzi slips to the back, but Tristan breaks her grip and reverses and brings her arm up behind her back. Kenzi slaps her shoulder in an effort to somehow dull the pain as Tristan really locks it in, but she finds a way out, doing a cartwheel to relieve the pressure on her arm. The move completely throws Slater off his game, so much so that he doesn’t even react to the incoming lariat! Kenzi keeps a firm grip on his arm and pulls him back to his feet, only to slam him to the mat with a spinebuster. Kenzi keeps her eyes on the downed Tristan Slater as she backs into her corner and tags in Sarah!
”Sarah Lacklan coming into this match for the first time tonight.”
”This is what their known for Pip, quick in’s and out’s, keeping their opponents off balance. A lot of experts credit this style to all of the success they’ve had as a team.:
”Experts?”
”Well it’s what my mother says…”
Sarah meets Tristan just as he gets to his feet and she catches him off guard with a series of palm strikes that back him into the ropes. She grabs his arm and whips him across the ring. He hits the ropes and comes rushing right back into a spinning heel kick! Sarah jumps to her feet and goes right back on the attack. She guides Tristan to his feet and whips him into her corner, where she tags in Kenzi. The two women lock on and rush across the ring dropping him with a double bulldog! The two playfully high five causing Famine of the Ville to climb into the ring, but the official stops him before he can step in. Sarah exits to her corner and Famine backs off as Kenzi turns back to the action to get caught with a toe kick that doubles her over, followed by a snap DDT! Sarah looks concerned for Kenzi as Tristan takes the opportunity to make the tag! Famine of the Ville enters the ring and marches straight towards Kenzi. He grabs her hair and pulls her to her feet. The official warns him on pulling the hair. Famine whips her into the ropes and steps in for a big boot! Kenzi ducks it with grace as she slides under his leg and tags Sarah! Sarah climbs through the ropes and goes toe to toe with Famine. She ducks and dives his blows while firing off quick strikes and kicks of her own, strikes designed to wear down an opponent. That’s exactly what they do too! Sarah grabs Famine by the wrist and whips him to the ropes. Sarah swings for the Cop Killa on the rebound, but Famine ducks it and springs from the ropes with a Clothesline From Hell! Famine of the Ville struts around Sarah who’s half out and holding the back of her head. Famine taunts Kenzi by threatening to harm Sarah. Kenzi steps one leg through the ropes, but the official blocks her way. Famine then points to Kenzi as he grabs Sarah by the hair with his left hand and pulls up to her feet. Kenzi tries to push past the official, but he’s not letting her through. Famine, still with the fist full of hair yanks Sarah’s head back hard. An audible OW can be heard as he does so. Kezi looks pissed and tries again to break into the ring, but the official continues to hold her back. Famine then looks around at the crowd who are cheering louder than before and raises his right hand. The crowd goes wild with chats of "YES! YES! YES! YES!" as Famine begins to slap Sarah in her face. HARD!
He slaps her several times as we now see her cheek and the rest of her face as red as a tomato. Famine's giant hand print visible on Sarah's face as Kenzi looks on unable to help her partner. Kenzi, realizing that she’s not helping the situation by allowing her emotions to take over, steps back out to the apron. Famine lifts her up into a standing fireman’s carry. He looks over to Kenzi and words “Watch this”, but we’ll never find out what “this” was because Sarah hits a series of elbows to the side of Famine’s head to break free. Sarah grabs the back of his head and brings it down with a single knee facebreaker! Famine hits the mat as both of them try to make the tag. After a moment of hesitation, they both tag in their partners at the same time! Kenzi and Slater hit the ring. Kenzi rushes in ducking a clothesline. She hits the ropes and lands a crossbody off the rebound! Tristan pushes up to all fours as Kenzi rushes in!
CURBSTOMP!
Sarah jumps through the ropes as Kenzi makes the cover!
ONE!
Famine starts into the ring...
TWO!
Only to be blasted off the apron with running Cop Killa!
THREE!
Winners via Pinfall - The 5’2 Mafia!
Suddenly the lights go dark!
”Wait a minute, you don’t think?”
A single spot light fires up illuminating the stage as a hooded figure walks out to Sarah and Kenzie’s dismay.
”I thought management had taken care of this clown!”
”Obviously…”
The Hooded Man slowly makes his way down the ramp as Kenzie throws her arm out and lightly nudges Sarah behind her as she places herself between The Hooded Man and her love. He stops about halfway down the ramp and begins to speak.
Hello Sarah.
Did you think we were done?
You have continued to avoid.
Continued to run and hide.
You will not run from me this time.
You will not alter the truth and spin your lies.
Tonight I finally have my face to face.
The Hooded Man starts once more to the ring. Sarah steps up to Kenzie’s side ready to fight. The two share a glance and a nod before turning their attention back to The Hooded Man.
”WHAT IN THE HELL!?!”
Out from the shadows four hooded figures jump Kenzie and Sarah from behind, but SOMEHOW Sarah and Kenzie predict the move fight them off, but the 5th Hooded Man gets in the ring and ambushes Kenzie from behind. 3 on 1 the numbers are too much as the hooded men stomp her into the ground. Sarah fights off the other 2 successfully and throws them out of the ring. Sarah then attacks the 3 who are going after Kenzie. She rushes in swinging wildly knocking one hooded man down and out of the ring as another rushes in. She easily evades his attack and fires back with some shots of her own that send him down and out. Sarah quickly turns around, searching for the third man, but she doesn’t have time to react as he rushes in from behind and CRACKS her in the face with a 24/7 Briefcase!
”ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!”
The Hooded Man pulls back the hoodie to reveal himself as…
”VITA VALENTEEN!?!”
”Was she The Hooded Man this entire time!?!”
Laughing, VV kicks at the back of Sarah’s head with the intent to embarrass instead of harm. Sarah still has fight in her and tries to push up from the mat, but she doesn’t have enough left in the tank to fight off VV who grabs her by her head and DDT’s her face first into the metal briefcase! Vita walks around Sarah with a smug smile as she soaks in the moment. VV grabs the Anarchy Championship and stares at her reflection in it’s big gold center plate for a moment before kneeling down by an unconscious Sarah Lacklan.
”Your empire is vast “my queen”, but it’s an empire that has been built on lies! You don’t deserve this championship! You don’t deserve to be in the XWF, and after I get through with you at Relentless, you won’t be anymore!”
VV stands up and tosses the belt at Sarah before leaving the ring.
”So Vita Valenteen has been The Hooded Man this entire time? That just doesn’t make sense!”
”Wait a minute Pip, are you seeing what I’m seeing?”
Indeed, the camera has caught a shot of yet another hooded figure peering down at the carnage in the ring from the rafters high above!
”Is THAT the REAL Hooded Man? I’m so confused!”
”Whatever the case may be, Vita Valenteen has proven that she can play mind games with the best of them!”
Fuzz
- vs -
Kieran Overton
- vs -
Miss Michelle
- vs -
Cambyses Fatal Four Way
Winner will become number #1 contender for the TV title
Miss Michelle starts in the ring after the commercial break.
The metal and Eastern fusion of "Believe" by Myrath bursts out over the arena, and the battle standard of the Achaemenid Eagle appears on the X-Tron as Cambyses steps out onto the entrance ramp, a calf-length blue cape trailing behind him. He raises both arms up above his head and links them together as blue and yellow pyro blasts go off around, then poses with two finger-guns aimed directly ahead of him and heads down the ramp at a confident stride, blue and yellow searchlights washing over him. At the foot of the ring he darts for the apron and slides under the bottom rope, coiling back and springing to his feet with his arms spread back, the crowd cheering as he does so. He moves backwards to the corner, then climbs up to the turnbuckle.
"Cambyses. Weird name. He should be called EAGLE-MAN!"
"No he shouldn't. Cambyses has turned some heads and seemed to have cached Atticus Black's eye considering his first match is such a big one like this."
Beast by Puppy plays over the sound system as there's massive amount of boos when Kieran Overton walks out as he screams on top of his lungs with his hands in the air on top of the ramp, wearing shorts, shirt, gloves and boots before walking down as he ignores each one of the fans before he goes up the steps and goes over the top rope and places his hand on his left arm, basically not giving a damn about them before he turns to anger, while he goes to sit in the corner, waiting for his opponent to come to the ring.
"Kieran Overton entered the XWF with authority! I hoping to see if he can keep that anger and head of steam going."
"As long as he doesn't pull a Big D, I'm happy."
Fuzz walks down the ramp paying no attention to the fans or his opponents and goes straight to his corner.
"... What a douche."
"That douche is an XWF legend, a master in the ring and can make you hurt more than anyone else in this arena."
All four men start in the ring but before the bell rings, Vivaldi's Il Gardellino in D plays over the speakers and Atticus Black joined with a smiling Arnold "Chubby" Fletcher walk out onto the ramp. Atticus gives a smile and wave to the crowd as Arnold stands beside his with his hands clasped at his waist. Black's music dies down and the Savage GM raises the microphone to his mouth.
ATTICUS BLACK: "Sorry to intrude all but I have some exciting news. This fatal four-way will now be an elimination match!"
The crowd give a polite cheer despite the news not being all that exciting. Arnold raises an eyebrow and leans to the mic.
ARNOLD FLETCHER: "Why the hell are you cheering? Shut up!"
The audience silence themselves.
ARNOLD FLETCHER: "Carry on, Atticus."
Arnold stands back to the side as Black looks a little awkward.
ATTICUS BLACK: "Thank you, Arnold. Anyway, the winner of this match will go on to meet the Television Champion at Relentless BUT whoever places second will go on to meet Big D at Relentless for the Xtreme Championship!"
This time the crowd roar with actual excitement. The men and woman in the ring look intrigued.
ATTICUS BLACK: "I'm sure with this news you'll all fight harder and so you should! This is a chance for some of you to prove yourselves."
Atticus looks down at the ring, giving a glare to Fuzz.
ATTICUS BLACK: "And for some of you to know your place."
Arnold grabs the mic.
ARNOLD FLETCHER: "Good luck!"
With that, the two takes their leave and the competitors inside the ring turn to one another each seeming more determined.
"So now even if you lose, you win! Tsk. This is like shitty parents handing out participation trophies."
"Pip. Shut up. This is Atticus and Arnold giving four talented individuals a chance they deserve! Overton destroyed the competition in his last match, Cambyses oozes top star potential and Fuzz is a freaking legend!"
"And Miss Michelle?"
"She's here too."
Miss Michelle empowered by hearing this exciting news screams at the top of her lungs and charges Kieran Overton! But is knocked away with a strong hit to the temple! Michelle pinballs over to Fuzz who shoves an elbow into her nose! Michelle covers her face and falls back into the arms of Cambyses who whips her around in almost a tango dance maneuver before dropping her with a gorgeous Hammerlock DDT he calls the 'Byzantine DDT' and transitions into a cocky lax pin shooting finger guns at Fuzz and Kieran.
1
2
3!
Miss Michelle - ELIMINATED!
"... She was here."
Miss Michelle blinks in and out of existence and fades away like a defeated enemy on Streets of Rage. Not really, this isn't Anarchy, she just gets rolled out of the ring by Cam's foot.
As Cambyses stands back up he looks ready to fight but needs to wait his turn as Fuzz locks horns with Overton; the two clinch up and toss quick jabs. Kieran quickly takes advantage and lifts Fuzz off his feet and throws him into the turnbuckles. Fuzz is winded momentarily and Kieran rushes the corner with a clothesline only for his sternum to crash against the pads, Fuzz dodging to the side and throwing a hard hook into Kieran's temple. Overton shakes off the strike and gets a hand on the ropes. Cambyses seizes this opportunity to join and leaps high, slamming a knee into Overton's jaw.
The destructive beast reels back but doesn't go down, with a raw he rings Cambyses' bell with two stong palms to the temples. Fuzz runs behind Kieran and hops to the second turnbuckle, Overton turns as Fuzz jumps off and gets an arm around Kieran's head looking for a DDT but Overton keeps up! Throwing Fuzz away into the corner and cracking his ribs with a hellacious strike!
The Afterthought's eyes bulge from his skull as he drops to a knee, Kieran takes a few steps back and sprints forth looking to for a cannonball to end Fuzz!
But he shouldn't have ignored Cambyses!
Who finger gun taunts and shoots an invisible bullet killing Kieran Overton! NO! STOP! NOT ANARCHY! Cambyses instead jumps up and with pinpoint accuracy lands both boots against Overton in mid-air and bowls the beast over the top rope!
The fans pop huge! As they should!
"HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!"
"Holy shit!"
"That was impressive! 310 pounds shot out of mid-air and Overton is out cold on the outside!"
Cambyses stays on his back for a moment, probably in amazement from how that worked, before kipping up and taking a bow to the crowd. Fuzz looks at Cambyses with a slight smirk before launching forward and throwing a devastating knee into Cam's temple as he bows!
Cam crashes to the mat his eyes rolling in his sockets as the ringing in his dome grows louder. Fuzz quickly covers with a tight pin.
1
...
2
...
KICKOUT!
Cambyses gets a shoulder up just before the 3!
Fuzz kneels up and grabs his ribs as Cambyses struggles to get to his feet. Fuzz grabs Cambyses by the back of the head and pulls him up; Cambyses swings wide but the ring general ducks under the strike and plants a shoulder into Cam's gut. The two separate from one another. Fuzz keeps a hand on his ribs and taunts for Cambyses to fight. Cam sneers and charges Fuzz once more; Cambyses rushes for a clothesline which is telegraphed but Cam quickly feints the attack to swing around to Fuzz's back looking for a German suplex!
But Fuzz knows better, stamping down with his heel on Cambyses' foot and throwing his head back into the young eagle's nose. Fuzz spins around, his left hand still on his ribs and with his right backhands Cambyses like a pimp demanding money. Cambyses is rocked! He doesn't know what to do until it's too late and Fuzz kicks Cam's knee back before planting him with a DDT! The crowd pop as Fuzz shakes his head and mutters an insult under his breath.
"Cambyses is still a rookie here. Fuzz is a veteran. His first language is fighting. This is unfair."
"Fuzz is also old, he's keeping a tight grip on those ribs and he's still got a sore neck from Anarchy. Cambyses, yeah he's green, but his body isn't as decrepit as that old fart."
Cambyses wide-eyed and with a shaky hand grabs the bottom rope. Fuzz stands to his feet and looks around the ring and sees Overton charging towards him! Fuzz throws a boot against Kieran's head but Overton ducks under the blow and takes Fuzz down to the mat going into a full mount!
Fuzz tries to fight back but Kieran plants a knee with his full weight down on Fuzz's ribs. The veteran howls in agony but is silenced as Kieran throws a straight jab into Fuzz's throat! Overton then rains heavy left and rights into Fuzz's head! Fuzz is reeling! Overton then clasps both hands together and throws a double axe-handle down into Fuzz's mush!
Fuzz's lip is busted and his nose explodes in blood and his arms drop to the mat, Overton leans down and places two hands on Fuzz's chest. The ref begins the count.
1
...
2
....
THR-NO!
Fuzz grabs the bottom rope with a hand and raises his shoulder just an inch off the mat. Kieran looks down at a shaky Fuzz and gets a wad of spit and blood in his eyes!
Kieran raises his hands to wipe away the blood that has now blinded him and Fuzz sits up and with force knocks Overton down with a nasty headbutt. Kieran falls back as Fuzz sits on the floor and passes his palm down his face to wipe away the blood. Overton stumbles to his feet and Fuzz uses the ropes to aid himself up; Overton pissed off charges Fuzz but The Afterthought gives a quick sharp kick to the groin stopping the beast in his tracks! Fuzz grabs Overton and!
"THE AFTERTHOUGHT!!!"
Perfectly executed roll of the dice from Fuzz drops Overton!
Fuzz throws a tired arm over Kieran's chest!
1
...
2
....
3!!!
Kieran Overton - ELIMINATED!
Somewhere backstage, Atticus Black drops a cup of tea to the ground in shock. Kind of like that scene from that movie with Kevin Spacey I can't remember the name of. If you know what I'm talking about leave a comment because it's really going to bug me. Fuzz rolls to his back and looks to the lights with deep breaths.
"Not too bad for an old fart, right Pip?"
"... Shut up."
Overton is ushered to the outside by the ref as Fuzz slowly gets up with wobbly feet.
He stumbles back against the ropes as Cambyses stares a hole at him in a seated position from near the ropes.
Fuzz gives a bloody smile and eggs Cambyses on with a roar from the crowd.
Cambyses nods his head and rushes Fuzz!
Fuzz goes to duck but didn't expect a slingblade from Cambyses! Fuzz goes to the mat with a thud and Cambyses goes for a leg drop but Fuzz just rolls in time! Cam hits the canvas and Fuzz hurries to his feet almost tripping over himself. Fuzz meets Cam and goes for a boot but Cambyses rolls under the boot and Fuzz traps his leg between the ropes Cam quickly snaps around and rocks Fuzz with a step-up enziguri!
Fuzz falls back into the arms of Cambyses and is hurled across the ring with a German Suplex!!!
Cambyses rolls to his belly and gets up looking to Fuzz prone who tries his best to stand.
Cambyses then unleashes the deadliest move in his arsenal.
The mother fucking finger guns!
Pew! Pew!
Fuzz incensed smashing a fist onto the mat and gets to a knee. He spits blood onto the mat and grabs his ribs before picking himself up.
Fuzz runs forward but drops to his knees sucking wind just in front of Cambyses, no longer worried, Cam smiles and taunts to the crowd. He looks to the corner and runs up to the ropes as Fuzz doesn't know where he is anymore, struggling to stand and losing blood.
Cambyses aims in sights.
Fuzz slowly wobbles into place and turns.
The Achaemenid Eagle soars!!!
"PRINCE
OF
PERSIA!!!"
Cambyses looking to end this with a flying stunner!
"COUNTERED!!!"
Fuzz, fucking somehow, transitions the move into a messy modified brainbuster!!!
”The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is part of the semi finals of the XWF Tag Team Tournament! Introducing first, weighing in at a combined weight of 488 pounds pounds, the team of Hanari Carnes and Steve Justice, THE ARRRRM COOOOOLLECTORS!!!”
New Noise by Refused starts playing as the arena lights dim. A spotlight illuminates the aisle. Steve emerges from the back wearing a red satin robe with the hood up. Hanari Carnes walks out behind him, he’s carrying the flag of the Dominican Republic on a flagpole over his shoulder. He walks next to Justice and the tow make their way down the ramp. Justice walks the aisle shaking his arms and cracking his neck while Carnes swings his hips and points to the ladies in the front rows. Steve rolls into the ring, throws his hood down and climbs the middle turnbuckle as Carnes struts around the ring waving his flag.
”And their opponents, weighing in at a combined weight of 447 pounds, the team of James Raven and Drew Archyle, A-E-P-X!!!”
Drew and Raven walk out from the back as their music plays. Drew and Raven slap hands with some of the fans that are lined up along the entry ramp and Raven even stops to pose for a few photographs. Once Drew reaches the ring he quickly walks up the steps and climbs in between the top and middle rope and into the ring as Raven dives in under the bottom rope and slides to the middle of the ring on his hands and knees. Drew removes his leather jacket and tosses it outside of the ring as James gets up and runs for the turnbuckle, climbing up and posing yet again for the fans before doing a 360 degree spin off and doing the same on the opposite turnbuckle. Raven then heads to the corner where Drew is leaning against the turnbuckles and waiting for the match to begin.
James Raven and Hanari Carnes charge each other immediately upon the opening bell, as Steve Justice and Drew Archyle begin to size each other up carefully on the other end of the mat. Hanari strikes first, catching Raven with an armdrag takedown and hurling him into the corner as Drew and Justice tie up! Drew gains the upper hand and Irish whips Steve into the turnbuckle, chasing after Justice and clotheslining him as soon as Steve hits the turnbuckle! Steve collapses to the mat as Drew begins stomping him wildly, turning around just in time to see Hanari dragging Raven up to his feet!
“Hanari is setting Raven up…”
“Drew is rushing across the ring!”
Drew sprints away from Steve Justice and clothesline’s Hanari before he can lay the boots to Raven! Hanari and Drew flip over the top rope and land hard on the apron! Raven uses the ringpost to drag himself to his feet just as Steve Justice is rising at the opposite end of the ring… Raven charges! He and Steve Justice tie up in the far corner, Raven grabbing the early advantage and twisting Steve into a hammerlock! Steve Justice Is able to somersault out of the gold and relieve the pressure, popping to his feet and… hitting Raven with a dropkick! Raven stumbles back into the turnbuckle and tries to catch himself on the middle rope but… FLYING KNEE! STEVE JUSTICE WITH A FLYING KNEE!
“JUSTICE HITS RAVENS JAW FLUSH! The legend drops to a knee!”
Steve Justice hooks Ravens head and DDTs him to the mat! The crowd is stunned as Steve Justice hooks the leg and makes the cover, the referee sliding into position for the count!
ONE!
TWO!
Drew Archyle sees what’s happening and launches himself up from the ring apron, using the top rope as a springboard! Springboard cross body! Drew flies through the air and lands hard on the back of Steve Justice, doing some serious damage and saving Raven from the near fall!
“Yikes! Raven was at the bottom of the pile and just got flattened like a pancake!”
Drew and Steve Justice roll off of James Raven, but Hanari Carnes is on the top rope! He dives at Raven with a frog splash! It lands, and Hanari makes a quick cover on The People’s G.O.A.T.!
ONE!
TWO!
Raven gets a shoulder up off the mat! He shoves Carnes off of him and rolls back to his feet as Steve, Hanari and Drew all climb to their feet simultaneously. The four men stare at each other before Drew and Raven both fall back against the ropes and slingshot at Steve Justice and Hanari Carnes! Apex hits matching clotheslines on the Arm Collectors! Justice and Carnes pop back up quickly, and Raven hits Hanari with a dropkick as Drew nails Steve with a shoulder block!
“Apex is on a roll, now!”
Carnes and Justice roll out of the ring to the floor, taking a moment to catch their breath and collect their thoughts. Raven and Archyle are back on their feet and nod to each other, once more slingshotting off the ropes and launching themselves with dual suicide dives!
“OH NO!”
Hanari slides out of the way and sends Raven flying into the fan barricade while Steve Justice throws a roundhouse kick that catches Archyle in the ribs! Apex crashes and burns and The Arm Collectors quickly try to seize the opportunity! They drag Drew and Raven to their feet, Steve whipping Drew into the steel steps as Hanari fires several punches at James and then bounces his skull off the ring post! The crowd boos wildly as the referee urges the action back into the ring, and Hanari and Justice tell him they’ll bring it back inside when they’re ready.
Justice and Carnes continue to hammer away at the two Apex members, the tag team champions, when Hanari slips behind Drew and hooks him up for a German suplex! Drew dead weights and drops to the floor, leaving Hanari exposed… F.Y.S.! James Raven uncorks a desperation superkick and cracks Carnes square in the jaw!
“I think I just saw a tooth fly out!”
Steve Justice knees Raven in the side before he can capitalize on Carnes, and Justice rolls Raven back into the ring before turning his attention to Drew. Steve hammers Drew repeatedly and keeps yelling for Hanari to get up, but Carnes is clearly feeling the worst of that superkick! Justice drags Drew up to his feet, but Drew quickly spins away from him and throws a kick to Justice’s midsection! Justice gets doubled over… scissor kick! Drew drops a leg across the back of Steve’s neck and flattens him to the floor!
“Archyle grabs the concussed Hanari and rolls him into the ring, Raven rolls over and drops an arm across Carnes’ shoulders!”
ONE!
TWO!
THR-
Hanari gets a shoulder up just in time and breaks the count! Raven rolls to his knees and takes a deep breath, disappointed but dedicated to finishing this match up. James climbs to his feet and urges Hanari to do the same… ANOTHER F.Y.S.!
“NO! Hanari caught his foot! Hanari drags Raven down to the mat and transitions from the leg to the arm! He’s looking for an arm bar! Hanari is looking to submit the legend!”
Drew Archyle scrambles up to the apron, and Steve Justice is chasing close behind! Archyle leaps over the top rope with an elbow drop that lands square and forces Hanari to release the submission! Steve Justice quickly bolts through the ropes as Drew tries to stand up… flying knee! Steve Justice wrecks Drew Archyle with a flying knee and collapses atop him for the cover!
ONE!
TWO!
Raven grabs Steves foot and drags him off of Drew! Raven is trying to lock in an ankle lock, but Hanari gets to his feet and clotheslines Raven to the mat with his last bit of energy!
“ALL FOUR MEN ARE DOWN!”
Carnes barely manages to reach over and drape his arm over Raven and the official slides in to count.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
Winners via pinfall - The Arm Collectors!
Steve stands in the corner after the match. He's resting his forehead on the turnbuckle pad.
"You don't think he's going to do this do you? He can't take Shane 's blood money!"
Steve turns and faces Hanari who opens his arms with a puzzled look. Half of the crowd chants, "Yes! Yes!" while the other chants, "No! No!" Steve looks out at the fans with a conflicted look on his face, hands on hips.
"He doesn't seem to know what to do. I can't say I would in his position."
A few long moments pass and Steve extends his hand slowly to Hanari. They shake hands and embrace in a hug.
"Good for you Steve, you don't want to fall into Shane 's web."
The two raise each other's hands in the air and then Steve turns to face Hanari...
*KONG!!!!*
The crowd lets out a collective gasp and every man in the room let's out a sympathetic groan as Steve kicks Hanari square in the nuts!! Hanari crumples to the mat in pain. Steve kneels down beside him and says, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," before rolling out of the ring and walking up the aisle with his head down.
Unknown Soldier
- vs -
Dolly Waters First Blood
The following match is a FIRST BLOOD MATCH! Introducing first, from Frankfort Kentucky.....DOOOOLLLLYYYY WATERS!
The stadium goes black as Cut The Cord rocks over the loud speakers. The camera pans onto the entrance way under the XTron as we can barely see a shadowy figure.
Pink and black strobe lights begin flashing rapidly all over the arena as a huge white spotlight shines down onto Dolly Waters who is turned around backwards, her hands open and arms extended out. The back of her leather jacket reading:
Waters
Dolly spins around as a barrage of pink pyro explodes behind her on the stage, the reflection of the ring visible on her black sunglasses lenses as a little smirk comes across her face. Dolly unzips her jacket exposing her usual ring attire.
She runs down the rampway toward the ring, pyro exploding from either side of the runway as she slides under the bottom rope of the ring and walks toward the nearest turnbuckle, climbing it and playing to the crowd a bit.
And her opponent, he hails from Oslo, Norway and he is your UNIVERSAL CHAMPION.......UNKNOWN SOLIDIER!!!!
Unknown Soldier prays to SATAN! in the middle of the ring while a red pentagram traces him from above in the rafters. The red disco lights tracing the pentagram around Soldier continues to encircle him constantly in a counter clockwise motion. While standing in the center of this pentagram of glowing lights, he kneels and touches both his shoulders and forehead as a sign of the Unholy trinity. In the name of the Liar, the Sinner, and the great father and lord of all that is Evil! Soldier then gets up and strokes his penis exactly 666 times getting faster and faster as the lights around him speed up in pace as well. He then removes his pirate themed Universal Championship and tosses it to the ref while he leers creepily at Dolly.
Hoooo boy, this has the potential to be stomach churning.
Our Universal Champion Unknown Solider in a First Blond Match. What sadist settled on this?
The bell ring and the match is underway. Dolly goes to move in for a lock up, but Solider immediately gestured to the raging boner straining against his tight pants! Dolly makes a grossed out face and decides to change tactics, dropkicking Solider in the dick! Solider flails back against the ropes, but seems to have a sick smile on his face! Dolly grabs his arm and shoots him into a corner, running after him for a big splash but Solider counters with a kick to Dolly's midsection that knocks her out of the air. Solider then picks her up and scoop slams her, before dropping his package down on Dolly's face in a rather unothodox cover!
The ref calls out to Solider that it's first blood rules, but he doesn't seem to care! Dolly finally kicks out from under him.
Dolly doesn't look happy with that.
I cannot imagine the smells.....
Dolly pops Solider in the mouth on her way up and then shoots a knee into the side of his head. Solider pushes her away and gets vertical, but Dolly tags him with a running lariat. The champ gets up immediately and Dolly goes for a russian leg sweep, but Solider blocks, knocks a couple elbow shots into the side of her skull before arm dragging her across the canvas. Dolly rolls to her feet only to be met with a big boot to the face! The ref checks to see if she's been busted open and she's still clear. Solider stays on her, hefting her up and delivering a spinning crucifix toss!
Dolly, slow to recover from it's dizzying effects, is easy prey for the champion who starts sizing her up for a spear. He licks his chops and drills her back down to the canvas! Then, mounting her with his throbbing dick once again uncomfortably close to her face, he starts laying into her with a series of closed fist shots, rounded off with a headbutt! The ref checks on her again, and somehow there's still no blood!
Did she take some clotting agents or something before this match? Her blood must be like paste.
Solider lets Dolly up but locks up with her, kneeing her in the guts a few times before hitting a snap suplex. Solider doesn't break the hold, and he picks her up again for another suplex...and still he retains the hold!
Pretty impressive for a man with the muscle mass of a beanpole.
Dolly weighs like 50 pounds, bro.
Solider lifts Dolly vertical and then walks her over to the turbnuckle....WHERE HE BRAIN BUSTERS HER ON IT! The crowd reels, assuming she must be busted open! The ref checks and....still no blood! Even Solider looks shocked! He grabs at Dolly again....and she latches on and starts biting his face!!!
OH OWWWWW!
Solider squeals in anger and manages to pry Dolly off of him. The ref checks on the champ and there's is still no blood there either! Dolly goes on the attack again, lighting Solider up with some elbows to the head before drop toe holding him, jumping down on his back and digging her fingers right into his eyes! The ref gets low to check and Solider curses and spits, trying to throw Dolly off of him. Finally, he manages to shift his face until one of Dolly's fingers is in his mouth and he bites down on it! Dolly screams and pulls at him, finally freeing her finger...but is she bleeding? The ref checks!
....seriously?
Hey,blood is blood I suppose.
Dolly's finger looks plenty bruised, but no blood! Dolly pushes past the ref and kicks Solider in the face as he gets to his feet, followed up by some more brutal stomps! Dolly then picks him up and nails him with a DDT! The ref checks in....and nope, no blood! Staying on the champ, Dolly gras him by his hair and whips him int the corner. She builds up a head of steam and charges at him, but Solider ducks and Dolly eats turnbuckle! With one smooth movement, Solider then rips the turnbuckle pad off the corner and grabs hold of Dolly by the back of the head! Then, with a vile cackle, he smashes Dolly's face into the exposed turnbuckle! The crowd “ooooooohs”, and he does it again, and again, and again until....
until.....
...blood flows freely from Dolly's forehead!
The ref calls for the bell! Unknown Solider then lovingly cradles a very dazed Dolly Water's face in his hands like a lover, and he proceeds to lap the blood up off her forehead before dropping her unceremoniously to the mat so the ref can raise his arm in victory!
Winner - Unknown Soldier!
TELEVISION TITLE
Thaddeus Duke
- vs -
BigD Ladder Match
Big D walks out to the stage looking ready to fight. He heads down the ramp and into the ring, where he glances up to the TV title then sets his eyes to the stage and waits for his opponent.
Silence.
Darkness.
GUITAR! White light bursts through the darkness pointing straight up from the ring posts illuminating the vertical Illuminatus Iron Cross banners (white field, blue cross,) hanging from the lighting rigging above each corner of the ring. More guitar, the screen flashes to behind the curtain where Thaddeus is shown wearing a white Duke hoodie with the hood up, rocking back and forth in anticipation and excitement.
Back to the mostly darkened arena. 'OKAY,' the arena lights pop on, strobing in blue and white colored lighting with Thaddeus Duke, hood up, standing on stage not moving.
GUITAR WINDS UP, CHORUS: The crowd cheers as he throws off the hood and walks to either side of the stage, pointing out toward the fans. He backpedals toward center stage and then heads toward the ring. Once he can reach fans, he slaps hands old school style, going from side to side. He runs up the steps and pauses, looking at his admirers before hopping over the top rope into the ring. He makes his way to each corner, giving the Bret Hart "I love you" pose.. Once all four corner are done, he hops back to the outside and takes selfies with fans at ringside. Mostly kids, teens and 20 somethings.
Ladders are placed around the ring as the entrances come to a close and BigD and Thad Duke stare at one another from their respective corners.
The referee looks at both of them and ask if they are both ready. They agree that they are. The referee calls for the timer.
15 MINUTES
Then he calls for the bell, and as soon as the bell rings, both BigD and Thad go running at each other.
"Match is now underway...."
"This should be fun.."
Thad attempts a lariat on BigD, but BigD ducks underneath the attempted lariat, and stops and waits for Thad to turn around and as he does, he knees him in stomach, and Thad bends over, and BigD executes a DDT. Down they both go.
BigD jumps straight back to his feet and looks in complete control.
"Becoming X-Treme Champion has given BigD much needed confidence, you can tell he's on top of his game."
"Or Thaddeus Duke is off of his for some reason."
BigD pulls Thad to his feet and whips him into the ropes, and Thad comes rebounding into a big boot, and down he goes again. The crowd is going beserk.
14 MINUTES
BigD grabs Thad and pulls him up again and attempts to whip him into the corner, when Thad reverses the move, and short arm clotheslines BigD and they both go down.
"Wow, so that happened...."
It's Thad who gets to his feet first, and is breathing harder. He grabs a shocked BigD, and sets him up for a Suplex and executes it. Another Suplex, and a third and a fourth.
"Wow Thad is moving like he didn't get attacked earlier.
13 MINUTES
Thad gets up and looks towards the clocks, and the closest ladder, and makes a move to the corner when all of a sudden BigD jumps to his feet, and grabs Thad, and his head, and runs towards the corner and throws his head into the corner post, and Thad stumbles backwards dazed, and BigD hits him with a neck breaker.
"Man both these guys are up for this match."
Thad manages to roll out of the other side of the ropes, and dumps himself down below the ring onto the canvas to get his energy back.
12 MINUTES
Meanwhile BigD quickly jumps over the ropes and grabs the nearest Ladder and pulls it inside the ring. He looks up at the Television Belt. He wants that Television Title so he could claim he was a double champion for a short time.
"He wants to be known as a Double champion even if it means for a short time."
"And that would mean everything to him,"
BigD struggles to set the ladder up. He quickly looks to the other side of the ring. Still no sign of Thad. Then suddenly the cameras go to the top of the ramp and they focus on the Saturday Night General Manager Atticus Black who has appeared.
"What is Mr Black doing out here?"
"Taking an interest in the match maybe? But he really looks concerned to see BigD in complete control."
11 MINUTES
Big D looks from the other side of the ring, to down the ramp and spots Atticus. He gives him a wave, but Atticus doesn't wave back. Weird. He's usually pretty cool GM to deal with all his Roster Members.
Big D then has his attention diverted to the other side of the ring, as he spots Thad's eyes looking back at him from a kneeling position. BigD quickly looks up, and starts climbing the ladder.
Thad rolls inside the ring, and quickly rushes to the ladder, and starts grabbing for Big D's feet. Big D continues to climb then can't climb no more because Thad is holding on. He then starts throwing Big D's left foot into the ladders step. With his other foot Big D kicks out at Thad. Atticus is still watching on from the ramp.
9 MINUTES 30 SECONDS
"Time's running out...".
"Something's gotta give..."
Suddenly BigD launches himself back off of the ladder and does a big flop on top of Thad. They both go down.
"Could you call that some kind of splash?"
"I don't know."
BigD gets up and starts hitting Thad with lefts and rights, before whipping him into the corner, and Thad hits it with such force he goes back down. BigD then grabs the ladder, and throws it across the ring at the fallen Thad, and it hits him with such force that he certainly won't be able to get up from that. The ladder is damage and as BigD gets rid of it outside of the ring, he grabs another one and hauls it into the ring. Again the camera focuses on Atticus and this time he looks more worried because Thad is down, looks like he is out cold, and Big D is in full control.
Atticus turns around and starts screaming "Someone has to do something" back stage. "Who's going to stop this mess?"
7 MINUTES
BigD almost has the ladder set up right. He looks across the ring. Thad D looks to be still out cold. He is about to climb the ladder.
"Just under 7 minutes to go, Big D in full control. All he has to do is climb that ladder and retrieve the TV Title. Easy peasey pudding pie now..."
"Yeah it looks like we are about to have a new Television Champion anyways.... wait... what the hell....".
As BigD is about to set foot on the ladder.......
Suddenly
The lights go out.....
"Oh no surely not...... it can't be......"
"Who are you thinking of.......... Surely he has his hands full with Cent........
6 MINUTES
The lights come back on and Mastermind is seen standing at the top of the ladder. BigD peers up at him...
Mastermind smirks his infamous smirk of his....
"It is... It's Mastermind.... but what the fuck is he doing out here?"
"Language."
"Sorry..."
Big D looks confused up at Mastermind, who suddenly gives him the fingers much like Soldier did to him the previous fortnight. Mastermind leaps and hits BigD with the MIND CHANGER a.k.a Flying Clothesline. And they both go down. Big D goes down the hardest.
"No disqualification in a Ladder match, so it's allowed."
Mastermind gets up, grabs the downed BigD, and drags him towards the ropes. The crowd is booing. Mastermind doesn't care. He puts Big D up onto the ropes and hits him with a second shortened version of the MIND CHANGER. And BigD goes flying out of the ring.
Mastermind walks over to the ropes and yells something to the time keeper.
"What did he just ask for?"
"Water but why would he want water?"
5 MINUTES
Mastermind is given a jug full of water. He walks over to the downed Thad, and pours the water all over him. He then helps him to his feet, and walks him over to the ladder. A confused looking Thad looks at Mastermind, then at the ladder and then up at the TV Title. Mastermind steps back, as Thad starts climbing. Slowly.
Mastermind swears at Thad to move faster, turns looks at BigD who has gotten to his feet, smirks at him, the lights go out.
"Not again."
"When it comes to Mastermind this always happens."
4 MINUTES
The lights come back on again, Mastermind is no where to be seen, Big D has rolled back into the ring, but more importantly Thad Duke has reached the top of the ladder and is pulling at the TV title. Big D rushes towards the ladder but it is too late, at the very second BigD grabs the ladder Thad has hold the TV title in his hands for all the world to see.
Winner and NEW TV Champion - Thaddeus Duke!
"Thaddeus Duke did it! We have a NEW Television Champion!"
"But only because of Mastermind's involvement!"
"This isn't finished between him and Big D, I'm sure Big D is going to be looking for revenge, but that'll be a tale for another day because we're out of time folks! Goodnight and thank you for tuning into Saturday Night Savage!"
Thank you to all who helped!
Lux
Chris Page
Atticus Black
"The hero of Brighton Beach" Mastermind Dolly Waters
OOC this entire post is all IC and meant to help new members or struggling existing members who want to improvise and adapt within the enigma that is the XWF hierarchy. It is said by some that these tactics hurt your performance but that has yet to be seen.
BEGINNER & ASPIRING MAIN-EVENTER XWF TUTORIAL
Walk through the door already knowing the best tricks of the trade that will get you noticed, pushed, and adored by all.
Also good for experienced stars who want to up their game and rid themselves of out-dated, silly, unnecessary restrictions.
Shane is seen giving some advice to an unrecognizable young man who just watched Savage with him. As you can see, this handsome young man looks very impressed by what he's seen tonight...
Shane sips some coffee and turns to his guest...
And you see, lil' guy, this is a perfect show to pay attention to if you want to know how to succeed in the XWF's version of the wrestling business. I want to model you after THE BEST and have you up to date on all the current trends that will take you farther than any of your opponents who foolishly lag behind the times and adhere to archaic "rules" that nobody axly enforces or executes any longer.
Tell me more, oh wise man!
I shall! Now, I'm sure you noticed how Tristan Slater and Famine of the Vile just appeared to "lose" to what seemingly is a very weak and ineffective female duo who they should have been able to crack in half over their knees without so much as breaking a sweat, right?
I did! I seen it with my own good eye.
Uh, good eye?
Yessum, one of my eyes has a bad case of eye herpes right now and it's hard to-
Ok ok just stop right there. Anyway, you saw what happened and you don't really need two good eyes to see exactly why these two girls walked away with the victory tonight.
I don't?
No! All you need to do is understand that we live in a new era where we're allowed to openly address the mechanics of the system and the factors that ultimately decide who appears to be victorious under the spotlights.
Now as I said, I want to train you to be the BESTEST so that means I need to show you who IS the best. Right now, by far, the best person for you to follow in the footsteps of would be none other than Sarah Grey-Lacklan ... but there's also a little you can take and learn from her rather unattractive wife, Kenzi.
Kenzi? I don't remember seeing anything from her this week leading up to the match. She's the ugly girl who carried Sarah to the win tonight though, right m'lord?
Correct, and the reason you may not have seen her illusive promo activity is because it gets credited to the name "CTN" instead of anything that would actually make someone think the name Kenzi.
Oh! That's really #cool! Is that why it seemed like Slater had no idea Sarah's partner even uploaded anything all week? Because I too was fooled!
There's a good chance that's why, but I can't speak for Mr. Slater. All I know is that in the history of the game I've never seen someone with his experience seem to "miss" the fact that his opponent uploaded a promo, so there must be something more to it... but in today's XWF something like this would be blamed on him for not knowing his opponent's code name, rather than ANY blame whatsoever being put on the person with the wrong username.
But aren't there rules that when you go onto the XWF website where promos get uploaded, they have to come from a name that ACTUALLY ma-
Axly.
Whu...?
Say it right. Axly. It sounds exactomundly as it's spelled. It sounds like the word ax, and then the name Lee. Axly.
But I don't think it's supposed to sound like that. Isn't it supposed to be more of a slushy throat sound? Shouldn't it be spelled ackshly if we're trying to sound like a stupid ass valley gi-
Stop it! Just go with it! LOL! It's AXLY!
Uh, did you just speak an LOL?
I don't know. Did I? Or am I slamming keys down while you hear me speak? These are the mysteries of the universe! LOLHAHALOL!
I'm so, sooooo confuzzled.
As you should be. Anyway, back to the point about names, yes there are rules written in big red letters when a wrestler or their off-camera representative signs up to upload promos, and those rules clearly state...
Durrr, hurrrrr, uhhhhhh duhhhhh what should I's make me name be's? HALP!
Oh Shane you're so silly.
So anyway, as you can see, there's literally no way a person with a functioning brain can possibly miss that. I mean look, the username box is axly right under the goddamn warning! There's no way this could be any easier. It's literally proof.
I see, I see! But then why did Kenny or whatever his name is get to choose a name that didn't identify him to the naked eyeball? Why is he allowed to get away with it, when clearly if everyone in the XWF just chose random letters that don't match their name, it would be a very confusing problem for everyone? Delete his account!!! Or at least make the big dummy fix his damn name!
It's Kenzi, not Kenny, and he's a she. Anyway, you do raise a good question BUT YOU DO NOT ASK THOSE QUESTIONS HERE. Of course it would be a problem if everyone did it, but Kenzi is special! Do you understand me? You just accept the fact that rules don't matter if certain people don't want them to apply to them! Isn't that bad ass?
Such bad assery. I'm so glad I have you as my mentor so I know which rules to follow and which ones to ignore when I'm ready to make my big debut! I sure hope I get all the same special treatment and privileges these lovely ladies get!
This isn't even the half of it, lil' guy. You know what else no longer matters in the XWF?
Oh my god, what?
I think you mean OMG or maybe even ERHMERHGERHD or something like that. Don't worry, I'll get you up to date on all the cool kid drooltube lingo before your big debut!
Oh thank OMGness.
Eh, close enough.
Tee hee hee. Oh sorry I mean LOL.
Yes!
Shane high fives his student with the unshaven neck hair, overwhelming acne, and LAZY, herpes infested eye sac. Shane KNOWS he has chosen the right boy to guide to greatness in the XWF, but there's still much work to be done.
Anyway, I wanted to also run through a couple clips of exactly what you're supposed to say in your promos if you REALLY want to get far and impress the people who decide if you'll win or lose.
Wait... decide if I win or lose? I thought I...
That's just the problem, lil' guy. You THOUGHT. Stop that. You can't do that anymore if you're going to be successful here. At a later date I'll explain more about how sporting events have been rigged for ages, but for now I need you to know what type of shit-talking you should be doing when you're booked. Now pay attention.
These insanely fucking awesome clips come straight from the recent promos by Sarah and Kenzi, who are undoubtedly the bestest in the XWF right now. Let's start with the more attractive of the two, if you're into that young boy with round cheeks and pale skin look. I know I am... Heeeere's SARAH!
Behold the type ofclassless, entry level rookie, lazy, repugnant, loathsome horse shit incredibly #cool and s00per effective word crafting that took the 5'2 Mafia to victory this week! Yay! Good job, XWF!
(09-12-2019, 07:40 PM)Lacklan Said: Fedora-wearing neckbeards, in between chugs of energy drinks and tips of said fedora to “girls” online, wait and wait AND WAIT until someone says something so that they can then respond. This is different than research, mind you. Research shows planning! Intelligence! Respect for their opponent! To know how your opponent performs...
What's she talking about? It sounds like she's talking about what happens on wrestling news sites where guys like me just troll around and make super cool comments to boys who pretend to be girls in their avatars. Was that why she said the word "girls" like she did?To make fun of fucking loser tampon boys who pretend to be girls online?
Well that's very observant of you and that's exactly why I chose you to mentor, good sir! If you paid closer attention though, you'd also notice she mentioned an opponent twice. What's that tell us? She's clearly not talking about random trolling on WrestlingInc.com, YouTube, or even the holy Twitter land.
I know this may seem confusing, but these are the kinds of things you should be saying to and about your opponents if you want to be treated like a real professional around here. Another example...
(09-12-2019, 07:40 PM)Lacklan Said: (To Tristan)How hard was it? How hard was it to NOT play the copy/paste game?
Huh? Copy and paste game?
Shit up and watch!
(09-12-2019, 07:40 PM)Lacklan Said: (Still to Tristan) How hard was it to NOT slam down your fingers on that keyboard harder than you ever have before and cry out “NUH UH NUH UH ME AND MY FELLOW PAGE BITCH BOIS ALL GETS ALONG AND ARE THE BESTEST TAG TEAM IN TEH WORLD”
Shane claps his hands together and let's out an "Oh!" because he's just do damn impressed by this hard hitting trash talk. Shane's student is drooling and one of his eyes is stuck completely closed now, but that's not going to be a problem as the clips continue...
(09-12-2019, 07:40 PM)Lacklan Said: It was obviously too hard, of course, since you were unable to obey both spirit and letter of the rules...
Note her expertise on rules being professed after literally going against the simplest and most easily understood of rules to follow. This is PRO. So PRO. Mega PRO here.
This is so weird.
Pay attention. There's more! You need to absorb this knowledge so you can hang with the bestest when you debut!
(09-12-2019, 07:40 PM)Lacklan Said: At least Famine had the decency to give a once-over of my bio, though he joins you in the inability to interpret the data he rattled off. That is an issue, ya know? “Hey, this chick is pretty good?” Really? How so? Please, regal me with your encyclopedic knowledge of my success
Wooaahhh... She's reeeeeeally good with wordums.
Now as you can see here, it's always important to accuse EVERYONE else of somehow not understanding you or even understanding the words they speak about you. As an added knife in the gut to your opponent, make sure you yourself fail to use words correctly... for instance, being a and saying regal when clearly she meant regale. This is #cool, though! Remember how you're learning a whole new lingo and all the most trendy terms?
I don't think I get it. She literally just accused someone of not knowing what they're talking about and she went on to not know what she was talking about.
Exactly! This is GENIUS. This is so far beyond any common level of intelligence that you will axly be able to redefine what words mean and what facts are as you go! This scores big points with the disgraces to booking that run the show today! Don't be the person to CORRECT the butchering and sloppiness, though... or "they" will think that's lame and played out.
It's like everything is the opposite of what should make sense.
Pretty much!
Next...
(09-12-2019, 07:40 PM)Lacklan Said: when it comes to NOW, when it comes to THIS YEAR, when it comes to the wrestling business as it is RIGHT FUCKING NOW, all you have to say is “Welp, we USED to” on burner accounts and phones and offer up little to nothing in relevant interpretations or understanding
What's she talking about? Did Tristan and Famine ring her on a prepaid phone and call her a mean name before disposing of the phone?
It's quite possible, but notice how she continues to let the world know how her opponents just can't interpret or understand anything in HER world? It's important to keep accusing the other person of somehow missing everything, because as we all know, if you scream it enough times it becomes...
...
wait for it...
THE TRUTH!
LOLZ
Exactly.
(09-12-2019, 07:40 PM)Lacklan Said: like that idiot Mastermind’s complaint of “YOU ONLY BEAT ME (the second time) BECAUSE I COULDN’T WATCH YOUR VIDEO BEFORE I FIGURED OUT WHAT TO SAY ABOUT YOU” excuse, give you something you can complain about in DMs and Discord for years to come
OMG YES! Discord gamer chat! We get to use Discord here! I knew I was going to like it here!
Eh... well... not exactly. Don't worry, you'll catch on as time goes. There will come a time when you know EXACTLY how and when to reference DMs and Discord, and heck if you advance to SooperCoolDroolTubeKID level you may even be able to get away with talking about posting and reading threads!
(So, so, so amazed and impressed sounding) Woooooaaaaahhh.. Keeewwwwl...
(09-12-2019, 07:40 PM)Lacklan Said: I refuse to play the bullshit nonsense game that all of you do. You won’t find me calling you a cunt or murdering someone live on camera or crying about what is or is not allowed to be talked about in a promotional video
This is key, here. NEVER be the one to TALK about what's not allowed... Never talk about it, just DO it. Endlessly. To the point that you've done it so much everyone watching your promo catches eye herpes themselves. That's pro.
So pro?
OMG Mega pro!
(09-12-2019, 07:40 PM)Lacklan Said: wherein we bust out that meme of Inigo saying that he doesn’t think that word means what you think it means
Oh, I think I get what she's doing here! Is this because she knows she doesn't know what certain words mean, as we witnessed a minute ago, so she alludes to it being the other person who somehow doesn't know how words and English work?
Pretty much, kiddo! See? You're already becoming #####COOLer by the second!
(09-12-2019, 07:40 PM)Lacklan Said: Kenzi is better than me. Perhaps one of you two idiots will give her the time of day this time. Neither Fuzz nor Noah did at first, either. Go ask them how well that worked out.
Can you tell me the significance of that quote? Think about what we talked about earlier.
Oh! Isn't Kenzi the really smart one who didn't know how to read the big red warning about making sure her name actually... ugh... AXLY... makes sense? Could that be why people are always "forgetting" to mention her?
Very good! Now again, I can't speak FOR any of the people Sarah and Kenzi have just obliterated with their incredibly advanced state of mind and superior yet illusive trash talk game, but there's certainly reason to ponder the question you posed.
Now, let's move on to Kenzi's really impressive, sooper cool sayings. Sarah is right – Kenzi is actually much better than her in every conceivable way. She doesn't necessarily use the same type of advanced trash talk we've seen Sarah use just now, or not as excessively, but she has a few tricks of the trade that definitely can help you if you emulate...
(09-13-2019, 08:02 PM) CTN Kenzi Grey, HELLO using the right name is axly easy, Said: You’re right! I did lose my UGWC Cooperative Title on Monday night.
Haha, oh I mean LOL, what? Or should I say/spell it WOT?
Shhhh... pay attention, there's more.
(09-13-2019, 08:02 PM) CTN Kenzi Grey, HELLO using the right name is axly easy, Said: Me and my girls showed up and UGWC and took that shit over…for a while, we held every championship there was to hold!
And UGWho? Is "and UGWC" a wrestling company? I spend a lot of time on my computer trolling the web, calling dudes m'lady, and talking about wrestling but even I never heard of that. I thought you were bringing me into the XWF, Shane?
Well yes, I am, but a rule of thumb among the very BESTEST around here is to make sure to mention obscure, lower level, borderline Special Olympic style companies that you've had success in before coming here.
Success? But a second ago she just said she lost some goofy title with a name that sounds like a 13 year old kid creating fantasy feds on the internet in 1995 would come up with. Cooperative title?
You're straying away from the point. ALWAYS mention how great you were elsewhere. If it's true that you did so great elsewhere that you and your buddies had all the titles, there's a good chance the people running that other fed were going out of their way to make sure it happened, and that's a great way to show the owners of your new fed that they too should give you special treatment and unwarranted pushes while holding others down! Wheeee!
In some cases, however, the previous fed people mention is made up entirely. Either way, it's a GREAT strategy! Win/win babay.
So if I didn't have previous experience getting handed free wins before coming here and having the rules bent to better serve me personally, I should just make up a fed and claim I was the bestest in it?
Yup! Either way, you're golden. Now, pay close attention here...
(09-13-2019, 08:02 PM) CTN Kenzi Grey, HELLO using the right name is axly easy, Said: Tristan couldn’t even hold together his own gimmick!
…..Ugggh.... Gimmick? -_-
Yuppers! #Cool, huh? But wait...
(09-13-2019, 08:02 PM) CTN Kenzi Grey, HELLO using the right name is axly easy, Said: He was running around calling us cunts…aint that Noah Jackson’s gimmick?
I'm not sure what to think here.
I'll tell you. You should be thinking this is GOLD. Always remember... your opponents and, hell, everyone on the roster are running GIMMICKS. If you talk about them having a gimmick, it makes you seem edgy and super sooooper bad ass. Sooooper.
That's . It's lazy. Imagine if John Cena talked about Brock Lesnar's accolades and MMA background as a gimmick.
No! It's GENIUS! John Cena is too stoopid to use such genius logic! You need to remember we're in a new age. The things you remember watching and the rules you thought mattered in the past, don't axly matter now. This is the BIG leagues, lil' guy!
Shane's student scratches his lazy, puss oozing, bug crawling eye sac and some nasty ass liquid pops out and lands in Shane's coffee. Shane no-sells it! He acts like nothing happened! HE DRINKS THE COFFEE ANYWAY!
Uh, Shane? You might not want to drink that... I think my eye jizz infected your coffee.
NO! NO IT DID NOT! STOP TRYING TO CONTROL ME! STOP TELLING ME HOW TO REACT! STOP!1!1! ROOAAARR!! STUPID GOD-MOXXER!!!!!111!1!1!!11! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!111!!1!111!!1
Shane throws a craxy FIT and starts stomping away but makes sure to finish his delicious coffee without spilling a drop. He then yells from a distance...
Remember today's lesson, lil' guy! You've got weeks, hell probably MONTHS worth of similar lessons coming before you're ready for your big cool debut but let me assure you once you're ready the XWF won't have a fucking clue what hit it. You're going to make the great and powerful 5'2 Mafia look like amateurs at their own game and you're going to bury the entire roster using sooper advanced methods and strategies none of them will possibly understand! Just wait! By the time I'm done preparing you, Sarah will be begging you to join up with her because if she couldn't handle a hooded pedo sending her poetry, she sure as hell won't be able to keep herself In Control with a Katana wielding Overlord Of Cool like you opposing her!
Shane's student shits himself but doesn't sell it. He just walks away like nothing is sloshing around in his jimmies. The boy is going to be the coolest kid of all time...
The following 4 users Like "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane's post:4 users Like "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane's post Chris Page (09-22-2019), CTN (09-15-2019), Unknown Soldier (09-14-2019), Zane Norrison (09-15-2019)
XWF All Time Wins Record Holder
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1x XWF Stable Champion
XWF Star Of The Month - May 2007
XWF Star Of The Month - July 2009
XWF Star Of The Month - December 2019
XWF Star Of The Month - December 2021
XWF Holiday Battle Royal Winner - 2007
The following 1 user Likes Centurion's post:1 user Likes Centurion's post (09-15-2019)
(09-15-2019, 03:19 AM)CCP Said: Uh, any logic behind how Slater and Famine lost to 2 RP and a no show? 😂😂😂😂😂😂 yet another questionable booking decision that’s really becoming a trend
Whatcha talking about? They both put up two?
And as far as the results go.... I shouldn’t be surprised. I’ve asked for help, I’ve asked for feedback and gotten none. I seriously don’t know what to expect anymore.
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- HALL OF LEGENDS 2019
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XWF World Heavyweight Champion
(09-15-2019, 03:19 AM)CCP Said: Uh, any logic behind how Slater and Famine lost to 2 RP and a no show? 😂😂😂😂😂😂 yet another questionable booking decision that’s really becoming a trend
Whatcha talking about? They both put up two?
And as far as the results go.... I shouldn’t be surprised. I’ve asked for help, I’ve asked for feedback and gotten none. I seriously don’t know what to expect anymore.
Your right Fuzz. That's my bad. You asked me for feedback recently, as far as I know the only time you've asked me and it was during what was unfortunately my busiest week personally and professionally that I've had in a long time so I just didn't get to it. There are several people here that can attest to the fact that when they ask for feedback from me I readily give it to them so this isn't me just ignoring you. Sometimes I get busy and sometimes that takes precedence over the fed.
Now having said that, which match would you like feedback for? The one you originally asked me about, or this most recent one?
Got to say, I'm shocked at the results of Arm Collectors and Apex. But can't take anything away from the guy's holding the belts. It really is a new day.
James and Drew, congrats on the run. Get some rest.
It's kind of a shame that the first few comments after the show are either trolly in nature or complaints. I know the GM's, specifically Atticus and Chubby worked really hard to put this show together and get it done on time so that we could also get the day 3 card of Relentless up. This show saw a new TV champ crowned. A shocking tag title match that I honestly don't think anyone saw coming. Several different storylines were either built up or added to that helped set things up for the PPV and instead of a single "Good show or great work guys." We get what we got. Being a GM can be a very thankless job at times. It's why we make sure to ALWAYS thank the people who help us out by writing matches. It would be nice if the GM's got some love from the same roster that is quick to get critical when they see something they don't like. I'm not saying the GM's need their asses kissed, they don't but I think there is a happy medium between what I am seeing here and what I'd like to see.
So allow me to be the first to say Thank You to Chubby and Atticus for a really great show. A lot of time and effort was put into it with help from the match writers of course. I enjoyed reading it. I thought there were several areas that you excelled at in terms of delivering something to be proud of and am looking forward to seeing what comes next.
The following 1 user Likes Theo Pryce's post:1 user Likes Theo Pryce's post Corey Smith (09-15-2019)
No, no, Theo, they're right. We obviously suffer from crippling bias and don't know how to do this properly. The only way to win here is to be friends with us, such as the way Hanari Carnes and Steve Justice are. I'll probably be making my girlfriend a multiple-time champion soon also.
God know no one has ever used the word gimmick before or referenced other efeds, especially when listing movesets, etc. We never had a character whose actual name was "Mr. WGWF" or anything like that, who repeatedly won matches no matter how much bullshit he talked about. As we all know, it's not at all about what promos are more entertaining or interesting, it's all about being offensive. That's what counts, boys and girls. The letter of the law.
Oh shit, what's that you say? The 5'2" Mafias opponents ALSO broke some minor rules and got docked for it? Well that's just more bias!
Jesus guys, keep things realistic already. Real wrestlers would never say these things en route to their "buried in bodily fluids" matches where their opponents are literally murdered in the ring. It's about integrity!
Welcome home, Vinnie. I knew my and Lacklan's tutorial could help everyone regardless of their level or position!
Shane's student, the multi-chinned neckbeard, LOLs at the craxy turn of events and realizes he has the right mentor if results are happening THIS quickly even at the highest level of the XWF offices.
OMGZ I can't wait for my next lesson from you, oh wise one.
Be patient, young one... I think there are some chicken tendiez and Mountain Dew over in the corner for you to calm yourself with. I've got work to do!
Just cut it out. Seriously. No one had complaints about this stuff except you. I got a dozen PMs asking "WTF is Shane's problem." Soldier himself liked and complimented Lacklan's RP, specifically her trash talk, until presumably hearing your opinion and then he took it back.
A quick cursory search of the boards brought be 13 pages of people referencing "gimmicks" going back to 2013. CCP himself did it repeatedly in recent months. Fuzz was referring to Drew Archyle as a keyboard warrior and talking about interacting with him on Twitter. Nobody minded. Nobody thought it was over the line. No one thought about it AT ALL until you did. When you decide you dislike a member, you seek this sort of drama out with them. No one's enjoying it. Quit it.
Please don't insult the work my co-author and I put into the tutorial. Without Lacklan's help, this could have never been possible. Maybe you want to change and/or enforce some rules that would apply to everyone but until that happens, I C you.
Shane's large student is raging out over in the corner because his chicken tendiez and Mountain Dew ran out. He's VERY triggered by recent events but Shane walks over to him and holds his shivering body to help calm him...
(09-15-2019, 06:28 AM)"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane Said: . Fuzz was referring to Drew Archyle as a keyboard warrior and talking about interacting with him on Twitter.
Well that was simply because at that point that was the only way Drew and I interacted. And as I explained to Drew that everything on Twitter is done IC unless otherwise noted. I even talked to him through DM and explained as much.
Yes, my point is that it was fine. Wrestlers know these things exist.
(09-15-2019, 06:57 AM)Fuzz Said:
(09-15-2019, 06:28 AM)"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane Said: . Fuzz was referring to Drew Archyle as a keyboard warrior and talking about interacting with him on Twitter.
Well that was simply because at that point that was the only way Drew and I interacted. And as I explained to Drew that everything on Twitter is done IC unless otherwise noted. I even talked to him through DM and explained as much.
(09-15-2019, 06:28 AM)"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane Said: . Fuzz was referring to Drew Archyle as a keyboard warrior and talking about interacting with him on Twitter.
Well that was simply because at that point that was the only way Drew and I interacted. And as I explained to Drew that everything on Twitter is done IC unless otherwise noted. I even talked to him through DM and explained as much.
OOC: I had zero issue with Fuzz mentioning those things because as Vinnie said above those things exist within the context of this game. It's not just about what happens on these boards anymore. Real wrestlers use twitter and they reference those things in promos on television. This is no different in my opinion.
On another note, congratulations to the new tag team champions. Wear the belts with pride. Good luck at Relentless.
Former:
w/ Robert "The Omega" Main and and James Raven "Apex" Longest reigning tag team champions in XWF history at 241 days.
OOC: My apologies to the match writers. I'm not sure why, but my roster page keeps blanking itself when I edit it and I never caught it. Vinnie had to restore it pre-edit.
82-31-1
1x XWF Universal Champion || 3x XWF Xtreme Champion || 1x XWF Supercontinental Champion (First)
1x XWF Hart Champion (Last) || 2x XWF Television Champion || 1x XWF Tag Team Champion
1x OCW Savage Champion || 1x IIW Tag Team Champion || 1x AAW United States Champion
2x SOTM (9/20, 7/21) || 2021 Male Wrestler of the Year || XWF Hall of Legends
(09-16-2019, 06:19 AM)Thaddeus Duke Said: OOC: My apologies to the match writers. I'm not sure why, but my roster page keeps blanking itself when I edit it and I never caught it. Vinnie had to restore it pre-edit.
I updated it in results.
CTN
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The Circle Television Network would like to sincerely apologize to the staff, performers, and any fans of the XWF for sponsoring the promotional videos of our studio’s main star; Kenzi Grey-Lacklan. Mrs. Grey-Lacklan, contrary to the belief of Fuzz, is an extremely well-known and wildly popular actress, athlete, and professional wrestler with a history of films and other ventures with our company dating back to 2015. We have been hard-pressed to come across anyone, until now, who was not familiar with our affiliation.
We would like to extend an individual apology to Mr. Tristan Slater and Mr. Famine of the Vile who must have had their subscription to our streaming service inadvertently interrupted (likely by the greatly inferior Piercing Media Network). As a consolation, should The 5’2” Mafia win at Relentless, we are certain that they can be convinced to give you two the next available opportunity, with XWF staff approval, of course. In the meantime, you have both been granted exclusive unlimited streaming of our most popular content (featuring Kenzi Grey and XWF's own James Raven) for the next 24-hours.
Please enjoy the first four episodes of season 4 of Hexx: Chronicles of Empire City on us (WOW)! Please direct any questions or concerns to our corporate mailbox and we will get back to you at our earliest convenience.
(09-16-2019, 05:30 PM)CTN Said: The Circle Television Network would like to sincerely apologize to the staff, performers, and any fans of the XWF for sponsoring the promotional videos of our studio’s main star; Kenzi Grey-Lacklan. Mrs. Grey-Lacklan, contrary to the belief of Fuzz, is an extremely well-known and wildly popular actress, athlete, and professional wrestler with a history of films and other ventures with our company dating back to 2015. We have been hard-pressed to come across anyone, until now, who was not familiar with our affiliation.
We would like to extend an individual apology to Mr. Tristan Slater and Mr. Famine of the Vile who must have had their subscription to our streaming service inadvertently interrupted (likely by the greatly inferior Piercing Media Network). As a consolation, should The 5’2” Mafia win at Relentless, we are certain that they can be convinced to give you two the next available opportunity, with XWF staff approval, of course. In the meantime, you have both been granted exclusive unlimited streaming of our most popular content (featuring Kenzi Grey and XWF's own James Raven) for the next 24-hours.
Please enjoy the first four episodes of season 4 of Hexx: Chronicles of Empire City on us (WOW)! Please direct any questions or concerns to our corporate mailbox and we will get back to you at our earliest convenience.
Sincerely, CTN Public Relations
This show better have Raven whip his dick out or GTFO.
XWF FanBase: The IWC (gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)
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Good show, fellas! It took me a while to get to reading it, but there were some solid RPs and very well done matches. The title matches tonight are going to be in my mind come Match of the Month. Also, I'm perfectly fine with this Hooded Man reveal, although I remember thinking prior to knowing that THM was a different handler that it might have been Ruby.
Regardless, great work! Onto Relentless!
"You can't run from yourself."
XWF
Wins | Losses | Draws
59 | 37 | 4
Indie Darling Eternal
#33 on The XWF Top 50(2021)
1x Tag Team Champion[with Isaiah King](Current)
2x (Former)
1x X-Treme Champion(Former)
The Final Supercontinental Champion
1x Television Champion(Former)
Star of the Month - April 2019 | March 2021 | December 2022
RP of the Month - March 2021 (Void of the Mind)
Winner - Leap Of Faith Rafter Match 2019
1x 24/7 Briefcase Holder
Winner - War Games 2023(With Mark Flynn, Isaiah King, & Crash Rodriguez as G00D-B01)
Previous Banners
All Time Career(Interfed)
Wins | Losses | Draws
61 | 39 | 4
So since the rules state that my name has to match my character, can I make a new account with a name that doesn’t so I can win matches like Kenzi? Obviously this is a rule that is just there for no reason.
The following 1 user Likes Famine of the Vile's post:1 user Likes Famine of the Vile's post CTN (09-27-2019)
Famine of the Vile
Registered but either hasn't added self to a roster yet or doesn't RP
XWF FanBase: Hardcore, psycho fans (cheered for breaking rules and bones; excessively violent; creative with weapons)
(Where is my roster page?)
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To follow up my last comment. I don't give a damn about winning or losing anymore. I'm doing this for fun. BUT....when a rule is clearly violated and we get jobbed out, I question the integrity of the people running the place who fail to enforce the rule that cost us the match.
The following 1 user Likes Famine of the Vile's post:1 user Likes Famine of the Vile's post CTN (09-27-2019)
(09-16-2019, 06:19 AM)Thaddeus Duke Said: OOC: My apologies to the match writers. I'm not sure why, but my roster page keeps blanking itself when I edit it and I never caught it. Vinnie had to restore it pre-edit.
I updated it in results.
It shouldn't have appeared the way it did, anyway. I deserve more respect than that.
82-31-1
1x XWF Universal Champion || 3x XWF Xtreme Champion || 1x XWF Supercontinental Champion (First)
1x XWF Hart Champion (Last) || 2x XWF Television Champion || 1x XWF Tag Team Champion
1x OCW Savage Champion || 1x IIW Tag Team Champion || 1x AAW United States Champion
2x SOTM (9/20, 7/21) || 2021 Male Wrestler of the Year || XWF Hall of Legends
CTN
Registered but either hasn't added self to a roster yet or doesn't RP
XWF FanBase: Mixed (loved by some; hated by some; dips between clean/dirty)
(Where is my roster page?)
Joined: Mon Apr 01 2019
Posts: 135
31,212
Likes Given: 141
Likes Received: 208 in 76 posts
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Hates Received: 16 in 16 posts
Hates Given: 2
Hates Received: 16 in 16 posts
Reputation:
23 X-Bux: ✘84,095
(09-22-2019, 03:53 PM)Famine of the Vile Said: So since the rules state that my name has to match my character, can I make a new account with a name that doesn’t so I can win matches like Kenzi? Obviously this is a rule that is just there for no reason.
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