BACKSTORY - vs - - vs - After an epic battle on Warfare, Duke and Broken Oswald look to be on another collision course. But this time in a truly X-Treme Paul Heyman special House of Horror's match. Will the result be the same? Or can the Doctor throw a new prescription into their paths?
PER RULE: Heavy MetalWeight Champion * Every Man for Himself
MATCH TYPE: 6 Man * Two Start * Single Elimination by Elimination Until One Left
(Want more information about this match? Hover over the names, pictures or titles.)
BACKSTORY - vs - - vs - - vs - - vs - - vs - A mixed bag of names and faces have a unique opportunity to claim the Heaviest prize in XWF. Will some of the XWF faithful rise to the occasion, or will new blood take advantage and make a name for itself? Can up and coming talent defeat experience, or will the aggression not stand to win the Championship?
Third Match X-Treme Death Match F'N PETER GILMOUR
- vs - MICHEAL GRAVES PER RULE: One on One Bout * X-Treme Death Rules
MATCH TYPE: If You Don't Know The Rules * Your Ass Better Call Somebody
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BACKSTORY - vs - Two men who have had storied careers in different ways. Peter Gilmour, the local landmine, capable of exploding at any second; and Micheal Graves, a man who's former darkness it only eclipsed by his newly found eternal light. Will Gilmour makes Graves hurt in his favorite match, or will Micheal piss all over Peter's defeated body?
Fourth Match Dog Collar Match MICHAEL MCBRIDE
- vs - THOMAS NIXON PER RULE: Chained Together By Dog Collars * 1 on 1
MATCH TYPE: Single Fall * Loser Quits OR is Knocked Out
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BACKSTORY - vs - An interesting wager involving Guppy played right into the hands of the Lethal Lottery format, as Michael McBride, and Thomas Nixon are drawn together once again to settle the score. Will this be a Irish brawl, or will preservation reign supreme? What will happen when these men are connected... with steel chain-link attached to dog collars? Who's big bet will pay off, and which one of these XWF stud's will walk away with the metaphorical jackpot?
BACKSTORY - vs - - vs - - vs - On an epic Savage, Tidbits pushed Robbie as far as he could go... now they get another crack at each other; just as LJ Havok intends on bringing the house down with the Title on the line! Will new Ax3 member Robert Main's plan for ascension through the ranks of XWF become reality? Or will Mr.Tidbits or Robbie Bourbon get angry?
CO-MAIN EVENT Lethal Lottery Finals "THE CEREAL KILLER" CARDYN TIBERIUS
& DOLLY WATERS
- vs - MISTER F'N DOMINANCE TRAX
& JIM CAEDUS PER RULE: Tag Team Bout * 2 on 2
MATCH TYPE: Single Fall * Winners Face Partner For The Briefcase
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BACKSTORY & - vs - & These four have battled many paths to make it to the final match for the BRIEFCASE! The first, had a triumphant return on Warfare after months of exile. The second, is Television Champion and has been dominating XWF on all shows. Another, is a consistent top performer looking for and edge to finally claim his top spot. And, other last, is Cadryn Tiberius. Enough said. Can Waters and Tiberius beat the red hot Caedus and sly Trax, or will the dominance get the best of Dolly and Cadryn? Which teammates will face a raised hand, before having to put the other down?
BACKSTORY - vs - A tale as old as time. But which will be beauty, and which is the beast? Storied rivals forced to work together. Embracing it and becoming a prolific tag team of Icons... then, betrayal. A loss in Lethal Lotto Round 1, couple by finger pointing and blame. Will these two simmer down the flames, or will one of them implode allowing the other to walk out... Universal.
April 1, 2017
1st of May Center
Pyongyang, North Korea
Pyro explodes again over the 1st of May Center as thousands AND THOUSANDS of ‘F’ers scream at the top of their lungs. They’re already warmed up thanks to the pre-show spectacular and the event itself should not disappoint. They know it. We know it. Vince McMahon knows it.
After several hundreds of thousands of dollars literally are up in smoke, much to Jefferson Jackson’s chagrin, the cameras settle on the entrance stage where Kaleo performs “Way Down We Go” LIVE. At the songs conclusion, several hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of pyro go up in smoke all over again. Mr. Jackson is probably having cardiac issues somewhere in the back as we’re joined by Dewey and Mike Stumph.
DEWEY: WELCOME TO LETHAL LOTTERY FOUR! WE ARE SOLD OUT! WE ARE LIVE FROM THE FIRST OF MAY CENTER IN PYONGYANG NORTH KOREA!
Hello everyone, I’m Dewey and alongside me is my colleague for tonight, Mike Stumph! Mike, its been a long and winding road to get here, but finally, Lethal Lottery is upon us!
MIKE: It is, Dewey, and tonight, is the GREAT GRANDADDY of them all! Lethal Lottery! Fuck WrestleMania and their predetermined outcomes that no one really cares about! THIS is real! THIS is wrestling! THIS… is XTREME!
And a special thanks to Kaleo for coming out here and performing the theme song to Lethal Lottery, right here in Pyongyang.
What a night, Dewey! What a night we are in for as the best of the best in the world collide! D’Ville and Duke!
Don’t forget Oswald.
I said what I said!
The Heavymetal Weight competitors!
Two old school classics in Graves and Gilmour!
McBride and Nixon!
Main, Havok, Tidbits and Bourbon for the Hart title! I can’t wait Dewey!
And lest we forget, the double main event! For the first time ever, the Lethal Lottery finals will be contested in a triple threat match with the XWF’s resident token black guy, the affirmative action hire Trax, the hot newcomer Jim Caedus, and the returning Dolly Waters!
What a WAR that is going to be!
And to top it all off, tonight, inside hell in a cell, two out of three falls with the Universal title on the line, Chris Chaos defends against Gabe Reno!
I can’t wait to get it all started, Dewey.
’F’ers, I just wanted to take a moment to… From the bottom of our hearts on behalf of all of us here at the Xtreme Wrestling Federation… to send out our condolences our prayers to Good Ol’ J.R. Jim’s wife passed away tragically recently. Jim Ross is a friend of the XWF and the XWF is a friend of his.
We love you Jim, our thoughts are with you at this incredibly tough time.
Can we get started now?
Ask and you shall receive!
The lights fall dark. The crowd begins to stir louder. Cameras flashes are going off all over the arena as “Way Down We Go” starts to play again.
WAY DOOOWWWWWN WE GO!
The lights come on and the monstrous House of Horrors structure is being lowered over the ring.
It stands 16 feet tall. It’s 36 feet across. It weighs 6 tons and contains over 2 miles of chain! This, is the definition of horror!
With the structure lowered, the lights are full on and Tig O’Bitties takes it away.
The opening contest here at Lethal Lottery IV…
…
...Is a Heyman’s House of Horrors number one contenders match for the Universal Championship!
She pauses to allow the crowd to react.
All three competitors will begin in the ring and every five minutes a pod will open, allowing the competitors to use the contents of those pods as legal weapons. The match continues until one competitor wins the match either by pinfall, or submission!
Oswald makes his entrance to NO music. It’s just part of the SHOW.
Introducing first! From Chicago, Illinoiiiiis! Weight in at 3 hundred 26 pouuunnnds! Broken Oswald Autem SEPHTIIIS!
Mike, Oswald doesn’t seem like himself without the Xtreme title!
I wonder if the next time we’ll see him, he’ll be Shattered Oswald.
And his opponents...
“House of 1,000 Corpses” by Rob Zombie plays.
First. From his rumored hometown of Sulphurrr, Louiiiisianaaa. Weighing in at 2 hundred 33 pouuunds. He is one-half of the reigning XWF taaag teeeam champiooons…. DOCTORRR LOUISSSS D’VILLLLLE!
The lights go out in the arena followed by an eerie red glow. Smoke rises from the entrance way and the Doctor emerges from it. He stands at the top of the ramp and looks out among the crowd, then slowly begins walking towards the ring. The Doctor climbs the ring steps and into the ring, he stands on the second turnbuckle and holds his arms into the air as the lights flash back on.
Doctor D’ville! He’s pretty much beaten everyone there is to beat. He’s pretty much won every title there is to win!
But has he ever competed inside of the House of Horrors?
Yes. He defeated Gator for the Universal title on Madness and it seems like ancient history.
And their opponent!
Silence.
Darkness.
“My Name Is Human” by Highly Suspect begins.
GUITAR!
White light bursts through the darkness pointing straight up from the ring posts through the chains on the chamber illuminating the vertical Illuminatus Iron Cross banners (white field, blue cross,) hanging from the lighting rigging above each corner of the ring.
More guitar, the screen flashes to behind the curtain where Thaddeus is shown, hood up, rocking back and forth in anticipation and excitement.
Back to the mostly darkened arena. 'OKAY,' the arena lights pop on, strobing in blue and white colored lighting with Thaddeus Duke, hood up, standing on stage not moving.
GUITAR WINDS UP, CHORUS: The crowd cheers as he throws off the hood and walks to either side of the stage, pointing out toward the fans. He backpedals toward center stage and then heads toward the ring. Once he can reach fans, he slaps hands old school style, going from side to side. He runs up the steps and pauses. He looks up on the monstrous cage…
Yeah big guy! Its gonna hurt!
Thaddeus Duke smiles at the chamber and looks back at his admirers before hopping over the top rope into the ring.
Get outta there Tig! Stay in there too long and you’re libel to get a popped implant!
The referee. Oswald. Doc. Duke. The chamber is locked!
#1 CONTENDERS MATCH
Broken Oswald Autem Septis
- vs -
Doctor Louis D’Ville
- vs -
Thaddeus Duke Heyman’s House of Horrors
The bell rings. Oswald remains motionless, staring into space. Doctor D’Ville hangs out in his corner, not taking his eyes from Thaddeus Duke. Duke meanwhile, paces back and forth, staring at Doc while clapping his hands, getting the crowd going. The ‘let’s go Duke’ chants begin quickly. Duke smiles and Doc rolls his eyes. Well, eye.
Oswald stares blankly.
Why do people like him, Dewey? I really can’t stand the guy.
I don’t have an answer to that question.
POD 1 OPENS:
4:14
Duke and Doc are tired of the shenanigans and both meet in the center of the ring, trading punches. Oswald stays in his corner and doesn’t move. The two men are almost at a stalemate when Duke finally gets the upper hand with a jarring shot to the jaw. Doc rocks backward to the corner and Duke charges in after him. Doc ducks down and tosses Duke up and over the top rope.
CRASH!!!
Duke lands on his feet on the steel grating though. Duke runs toward the ring and one hops it to the top rope, spring boarding from the top and nailing an unsuspecting D’Ville with a drop kick to the face. Doc staggers backwards and falls on his backside, rolling out of the ring to the steel chamber floor. Duke is back to his feet and nails Oswald with a stiff hook to the jaw. Oswald seems out of sorts and not aware of anything as he absorbs the hit and tumbles through the ropes to the chamber floor. Duke steps through the ropes, Oswald still his targeted foe. He lifts Oswald to his feet and drives him face first into a weapons pod. Much to his surprise, the glass shatters and Broken Oswald is a bloodied mess and covered in sharp pieces of glass.
POD 1 OPENS:
BROKEN
Duke tries to reach into the pod for Oswald, but the referee backs him off and holds up the “X” sign, signaling a serious injury.
Broken Oswald seems to have suffered an injury here, at the hands of Thaddeus Duke and the EMT’s are rushing out here. The official on the outside has unlocked the chamber.
Did they stop this match?
SLAMMMM!
Oh I guess not.
Doctor D’Ville, always aware, takes advantage of the distracting situation and floors Thaddeus Duke with a release German suplex. The EMT’s escort Oswald to the back and the chamber entrance is locked once again. Doc D’Ville isn’t a man that wastes a lot of time so he ventures over to the busted up weapons pod to retrieve its contents. Inside are more traditional weapons, such as chairs and table or two. Doc tosses a couple of chairs into the ring and maintains a grip on one as he returns to the ring.
Once in the ring, Thaddeus Duke is starting to get back to his feet. Doc charges across the ring with the chair in hand. Duke is up… he turns…
CRACK!!!!
My GOD! What a shot with that chair and Thaddeus Duke goes down!
It’s a brutal environment, Dewey! Doctor D’Ville is typically favored in a matchup like this!
He’s always been environmental, but let’s not forget Mike, Thaddeus Duke also excels in harsh environments!
Duke is down and Doc still has a chair. He plants the chair in the middle of the mat and returns his attention to the motionless Thaddeus Duke. He grabs the blond locks of Duke’s hair and pulls him to his feet. Doc lifts Duke up onto his shoulders and spins around, facing the center of the ring. He charges forward a few feet…
SLAMMMM!
Oklahoma Slam from Doctor D’Ville!
Right on top of that chair too!
Leg hooked on impact!
1!
2!
And Duke kicks out here!
It’s a little early yet. There’s no way either of these two men lose in under ten minutes!
POD 2 OPENS:
3:13
Doctor D’Ville eyes the timer with his good eye, then goes back to work. He picks up one of the chairs and wedges it in between the turnbuckles in the corner before returning his attention to Thaddeus Duke. Duke is almost upright and Doc, as is the norm, doesn’t waste a second. He rushes forward and sends a knee into Duke’s face. Duke is stunned but he doesn’t fall back to the mat. Doc looks over his shoulder toward the wedged chair and grabs Thaddeus by his right hand. Doc then whips Thaddeus toward the loaded corner….
SMASHHH!!!
A reversal by Thaddeus Duke!
D’Ville’s head crashed through that chair and now he’s got to be on dream street!
That was great presence of mind showed by Duke to reverse that maneuver!
Duke stands upright as he tries to shake off the cobwebs.
POD 2 OPENS:
1:04
Doc isn’t staying down for long though as he’s already attempting to make it to a vertical base. Duke, not one to really let up, grabs the bent up chair Doc slammed him on a little bit ago. As Doc gets to his feet and turns, Duke swings the chair…
CRACKKK!!!!
Down goes Doc D’Ville!
As Good Ol’ JR would say, business is fixin’ to pick up!
With Doc D’Ville down, Duke quickly searches through his repertoire of moves and gets an idea. He then tosses the bent and nearly broken chair out of the ring and grabs a fresh one.
Thaddeus Duke, setting up a chair here!
The fuck is he doing? He gonna read Penthouse while he waits for Doc to get up?
...
Well its what I would do, but I’m not a professional athlete.
Thaddeus Duke returns his attention to his rival. He grabs Doc by the back of the neck and pulls him back to his feet. Duke tosses Doc toward the ropes. On the rebound, Duke lifts D’Ville into the air and sends him back first across the back of the chair.
Holy shit that’s gotta hurt!
He just drove all of D’Ville’s weight spine first into that hardest part of that chair- the top of the back!
BUZZZZZZZZZZ!
POD 3 OPENS:
4:58
just a quick update on Oswald. He’s being stitched up as we speak and Vincent Lane has signed off on him returning to the match if the doctor’s will clear him to do so!
Thaddeus Duke ventures into the opened weapons pod where there is a few ladders sitting up against the glass. Surely the fans seated around that pod are happy to actually be able to watch the match rather than staring at a couple of ladders.
Duke pulls out a ladder and drags it into the ring. He kicks away the crushed chair and sets up the ladder with Doc D’Ville still lying flat on his back. Duke goes behind the ladder and climbs toward the top. Stepping over the top he pauses momentarily and looks out over the screaming fans. He then leaps…
CRASHHH!!!
Shades of the legendary Heartbreak Kid!
Thaddeus Duke lands the splash from the top rung of the ladder onto Doctor D’Ville and hooks the leg!
1!
2!
Kick out from D’Ville!
POD 3 OPENS:
3:21
Thaddeus Duke gets back to his feet and lifts D’Ville to his. Duke tosses Doc into the corner, then chases him in. Doc bounces off the corner and comes out with a full head of steam, driving an elbow into an unsuspecting Thaddeus Duke’s ridiculous chin! Duke drops instantly.
Doc takes a moment to recuperate some lost steam before returning his attention to Thaddeus Duke. He grabs the kid by his hair and lifts him to his feet.
Scoop…
SLAMMM!
Doc sends Duke back to the mat with a body slam then drops a leg on him for good measure. Doc turns his attention to the ladder Duke jumped off of earlier and folds it back up. He retreats to near the far corner as he waits and allows Duke to get up under his own power. As Duke gets to his feet, D’Ville rushes forward with the ladder as a battering ram. He doesn’t wait for Duke to turn around, instead electing to drive the top of the ladder directly into the back of Thaddeus Duke’s head!
Thaddeus crumbles to the mat. A camera glimpses a shot of the back of Thad’s head and notices a little blood between the kids fingers.
If we notice it, so does Doctor D’Ville!
No one in the XWF smells blood in the water quite like Louie D’Ville!
POD 3 OPENS:
1:14
D’Ville stands back, resting his hands on his knees as he waits intently for Thaddeus to get to his feet. Duke rises, but slowly. As Thaddeus is nearing his feet, Doc runs toward the ropes. After the rebound, he grabs Thaddeus by the side of his head as he leaps in the air and drives him face first into the ladder!
Thaddeus Duke is in a bad way now!
Duke rolls off the ladder and Doc hooks the leg!
1!
2!
Duke kicks out!
Nothing like being dramatic and waiting until the very last possible moment!
POD 3 OPENS:
0:17
Doc gets back to his feet and grabs Duke by his hair and pulls him to his feet. He leans him against the ropes and backpedals, then lunges forward with a lariat, forcing Duke to tumble over the top to the steel floor of the chamber between the two unopened pods.
BUZZZZZZZZZZ!
POD 4 OPENS:
4:58
Doc steps between the ropes and ignores the fallen Thaddeus Duke and has his attention solely on the fresh weapons pod. Doc steps in and begins revealing its contents. Lengths of chain with padlocks. Two barbed wire wrapped 2x4’s. And a burlap sack with its own contents.
The good Doctor seems to be keen on whatever is in that small sack!
That’s a very dangerous pod, Dewey!
After tossing the contents of the pod into the ring while maintaining possession of the sack, Doc turns his head toward Duke who is utilizing the ropes to aid him to his feet. Doc drops the sack inside the ring and advances toward Thaddeus Duke…
CRASHHH!
DDT!
Thaddeus Duke looks to be dazed out of his mind here, Dewey!
Getting your head driven into cold, hard, unforgiving steel can do that!
Doc, again grabs Duke by his hair and pulls him to his feet. He effortlessly tosses the kid through the ropes and back into the ring. Duke is managing to at least attempt to get back to his feet, again using the ropes to aid him. Doc grabs him by the neck and drives him head first into the turnbuckle.
Duke clutches his right ear as he managed to turn his head just a little as he was going in. Doc then lifts Duke to the top rope and grabs the burlap sack at his feet. He tips the bag upside down and empties its contents onto the ring surface.
THUMBTACKS!
POD 4 OPENS:
2:58
Doc returns his attention yet again to Thaddeus Duke and Duke lands a defensive kick to the face of Doc. D’Ville shrugs it off and throws a right fist into Thaddeus’ face, stunning the kid again.
I wonder how many people envied D’Ville right there.
A lot.
D’Ville climbs to the top rope and traps Thaddeus in a front face lock. Doc lifts, but Thaddeus wisely has his right leg wrapped around the turnbuckle and the attempt goes nowhere. Doc sends a few fists into Duke’s midsection and retries his attempt. Again, Thaddeus counters.
This time, Thaddeus sends right fists into Doc’s midsection, beginning a sort of stalemate on the top rope. Duke shoves Doc and Doc nearly falls off the ropes but he’s aware enough to clutch the rope and stop himself. Duke reacts quickly, sending an uppercut under the chin of Doc D’Ville, stunning him. Duke clutches Doc in a face lock of his own, then front suplexes Doc from the top…
CRASHHH!!!!
...sending him face first to the mat and directly into the pile of thumbtacks! Doc writhes in pain a little with a plethora of tacks stuck into his face! Doc frantically claws at his face, pulling the tacks out. With each one falling, so does small trickles of blood.
POD 4 OPENS:
0:39
Doc starts to get back to his feet as Duke perches himself atop the turnbuckles. Doc spins. Duke leaps…
CRASH!!!!
Cross body from the top from Duke! The leg is hooked!
1!
2!
D’Ville kicks out and this matches continues!
POD 4 OPENS:
0:03
0:02
0:01
BUZZZZZZZZ!
Alas! The final pod has opened!
What the hell is in it!?
Whatever it is, its covered in a blue velvet-like sheet!
Duke eyes the opened pod, then eyes Doc. He elects to ignore the pod, at least for now and climbs the turnbuckles. He peers over his shoulder at Doc who is ever so slowly getting to his feet. Thaddeus Duke then climbs to the top of the pod.
What’s he thinking here!?
That chamber is 16 feet high. The top of that pod has got to be at least 8 feet off the ring surface!
And Thaddeus Duke waits on top of it!
Doc gets to his feet, still weary from the tacks and the cross body. Duke leaps…
….
Flying through the air!
….
CRASHHH!
My GOD what a move!
A double ax handle from the top of the pod and both Doctor D’Ville and Thaddeus Duke are both down!
That’s shades of the late, great Randy Savage! The kid has studied well! Shades of HBK, shades of Savage!
If you’re gonna be small, at least by professional wrestling standards, Shawn Michaels and Randy Savage are probably a couple of guys you study up on!
Thaddeus Duke and Doc D’Ville are both still down. Duke though, rolls over and lays an arm over Doc’s chest. The referee dives to the mat.
1!
2!
And Doc kicks out here!
Duke slowly gets to his feet. Doc begins to as well. Duke grabs Doc by his arm and whips him toward the ropes.
Reversal from Doc!
Thaddeus runs toward the ropes upon the reversal from Doc. On the rebound, Duke leaps into the air and lands a forearm smash to D’Ville and both men crash to the mat.
KIP UP!
And Thaddeus Duke riiiises to the occasion here!
Thaddeus Duke retreats to a corner as Doc stirs, trying to will himself back to his feet. Duke though, points out at the fans, riling them up. As the crowd atmosphere rises, so does Louis D’Ville. Doc gets to his feet and turns around toward Duke while trying to shake the cobwebs.
SMACK!!!
BETTER THAN YOOUUU!
Oh that’s it! That super kick is deadly!
Duke collapses on top of Doc for the pin!
1!
2!
3?
HE KICKED OUT!! HE KICKED OUT!! OH MY GOD, DOC KICKED THE FUCK OUT!!
Duke gets to his knees and laughs in disbelief. He applauds his opponent for a moment then turns his head to the opened, yet still untouched weapons pod. Duke gets to his feet and looks down at Doc who hasn’t moved since he kicked out. He then turns toward the pod and advances. After stepping to through the ropes, Duke pauses as he eyes up the contents. A large something covered by a blue velvet sheet.
Duke grabs a hold of the sheet and yanks it off, revealing a large wooden crate. On top of the crate is a solid steel crowbar.
I don’t get it.
Obviously the gift, so to speak, is whatever is INSIDE the crate. You have to pry it open in order to get to it.
Duke clutches the crow bar and drags out the crate. He stands it up on end and flips it over the top rope and into the ring. Duke steps through the ropes and nearly falls as he steps on something. He’s distracted by that and retrieves a small, round object from the mat. Staring at it, he points to Doc and then at his own eye.
Wait.
Is that…?
That’s D’Ville’s glass eye! It must have popped out when Duke hit Better Than You!
Duke has Doc’s glass eye in one hand, and the crowbar in the other. What is a boy to do in this situation?
Duke tosses the eye into the air and two hand grips the crowbar. As the eye falls, Duke swings, nailing the eyeball in mid flight and it flies…
Through the chamber chains…
And out into the crowd!
Duke circles the bases here!
Hank Aaron would be proud!
Meanwhile, as Duke was having some fun with the fans at Doc’s expense, the good Doctor has started to get to his feet. Not realizing Doc is up, Duke turns to face the man who he thinks is still down. Doc sends a swift kick into the kids nuts, dropping him to his knees instantly!
The ultimate equalizer right there!
Two balls and a home run!
Doc asserts himself on the young Duke. He lifts the kid up…
SLAMMMM!!!!
LOBOTOMY!!! LOBOTOMY!!!
DUKE IS OUT!!!!
1!
2!
3?
…
THE KID KICKED OUT!!!
My God!
It’s nothing but true grit and determination driving these two forward at this point!
With both men trading, then kicking out of each others finishers, Doc decides its time to turn up the heat! Doc strolls across the ring where the chains and padlocks are waiting. D’Ville wraps a length of chain entirely around his right fist after securing a couple of padlocks to it. With his left hand, he wraps a chain around one time. He begins to make his way back toward Thaddeus Duke as he begins to will himself to his feet.
As Duke turns, Doc swing his left arm with the chain swinging out toward Duke. The chain hits Duke in the neck and wraps itself around it. Doc yanks, forcing Duke to stagger forward. As Thaddeus nears him, Doc swings his chain and padlock laced right fist, nailing the kid in the face and dropping him instantly!
Doc drops the chain from his left fist and kneels on top of Thaddeus Duke and begins wailing away on Duke’s forehead, busting him open!
In the words of our friend Jim Ross: Thaddeus Duke has donned the proverbial crimsonnn maaask!
With Duke busted open and not fighting back, Doc believes Duke to be unconscious, or at the very least, near it. D’Ville drops the chain from his right hand as he gets to his feet. Looking back at Duke, lying motionless, Doc proceeds toward the corner and climbs the ropes and he himself climbs to the top of a pod.
Holy shit!
Fly Doc, Fly!!!!
Doctor Louis D’Ville leaps into the air off the weapons pod…
Flying…
Soaring…
TREPANATION!!!! TREPANATION!!!!
That’s it! Game over for Thaddeus Duke!
The Pyongyang XWF faithful begin the chant: “HO-LY SHIT!” over and over as Doc lands the flying headbutt to the skull of Thaddeus Duke. Doc, covered in Thaddeus Duke’s blood and probably some of his own after that headbutt, hooks the lifeless leg of Duke.
1!
2!
3!?
HOW THE FUCK DID THAT KID KICK OUT!?!?
I’m at a loss for words here. This match… is just brutal. And amazing.
Doc gets to his knees and looks up at the lights, not believing Thaddeus Duke just kicked out. Doc, slowly works his way to his feet. He spies the crowbar lying a few feet away and goes to pick it up. With the crowbar in hand, he begins to swing at Thaddeus Duke but stops himself. Doc turns his head toward the crate and chooses to walk toward it.
I think we’re finally about to find out what’s in that crate!
I’m completely thrilled and mesmerized by this match! I don’t want it to end, but it needs to and soon. If not, these two might really kill each other!
Doc approaches the long and wide crate and begins prying on its lid. Slowly, but surely, working his way around. Finally, its opened enough that Doc can just lift the top. The lid stays attached, but barely. Doc reaches inside and retrieves its contents. The only thing inside is a bottle of lighter fluid and a Zippo lighter.
Oh God no!
Doc smiles ever so slightly. He turns to face Duke…
SNAP!!!!
Holy shit!
Where did that come from!?
Better Than You from Thaddeus Duke to Doctor D’Ville!!
Duke hit the move and Doc fell back and landed inside the crate. Thaddeus, meanwhile, collapses to the mat.
The bloodied mess that is Thaddeus Duke, is down for the count!
Doc D’Ville fell in that crate, Dewey! Both are down!
Duke starts slowly moving his legs as he lies face down on the mat. He slowly turns himself and crawls toward the crate. Using it to aid him, he gets to his feet. Duke can barely stand though as he eyes up D’Ville lying seemingly unconscious inside the crate. Duke rounds the crate and grabs a hold of the lid, closing Doctor D’Ville inside. Duke staggers and picks up the lighter fluid and the Zippo that Doc dropped when he was kicked in the face.
He pops the top on the fluid and begins dousing the crate in the highly flammable liquid.
DON’T DO IT!
Oh shit.
POOF!!!!
Duke lit the crate on fire with D’Ville still inside!
Duke considers his options and steps through the flames and on top of the crate. The referee goes for the count…
1!
2!
3!?
…
…
The ref stopped the count!
I knew it! Ref can’t count to 3!
I think he’s trying to explain to Thaddeus Duke that he can’t verify that Doc’s shoulders are down!
Duke jumps out of the flames to the ring mat. The crate, meanwhile, burns wildly and crumbles to the mat!
WHAT THE HELL!?
DOC ISN’T IN THE CRATE!!!!!!
The referee explains that Doc isn’t in the crate to Thaddeus Duke and Duke shoves the ref aside. Duke then sifts through the smoldering rubble of the crate and there is no sign of Doctor D’Ville.
Suddenly, there’s a disturbance from the crowd that gets Duke’s attention.
It’s Oswald!
Broken Oswald makes his way back toward the ring. Duke smiles through his bloodied face and makes his way toward the weapons pod that he opened with Oswald’s face. He retrieves the table lying inside and drags it out. Duke sets the table up inside the ring, then empties the remaining contents of the lighter fluid onto it, then sets it ablaze just as Broken Oswald re-enters the match.
Duke tells Oswald to “come on” with his hands and Oswald is happy to oblige. Oswald rushes toward Duke, but Duke rolls out of the way and back to his feet. Oswald stops his momentum at the very last possible second before running into the burning table.
Oswald turns…
SNAPPPPP!!!!
BETTER THAN YOU TO OSWALD!!!
OSWALD IS OUT COLD ON THAT BURNING TABLE!!!
IS THAT FLESH I SMELL!?
Duke wastes no time in scaling the turnbuckles and climbing the pod. He leaps…
LAST STANNNNDDD!!!!
Duke nails the Savage-esque elbow, crushing the burning table under he and Oswald’s weight. Duke hooks the leg!
1!
2!
3!!!!
WINNER: Thaddeus Duke
NEW #1 Contender to Universal Championship
FUCK!
It’s only match one, Dewey. I’m already worn the fuck out!
“My Name Is Human” by Highly Suspect plays as Thaddeus Duke celebrates his victory.
The X-Tron flickers on, a glare flashes against the screen and reveals nothing but bright light for a few seconds. The camera goes in and out of focus, trying to get rid of the obvious glare whilst the sound of birds chirping and kids playing can be heard through the speakers. After a few more seconds of adjustment, during which an awkward silence falls upon the crowd, the scene clears out on the screen.
The X-Tron reveals a quaint city park, where exactly this is, is yet to be clear. The camera closes in on a table along a running path, a faded checker board painted on its top. A mixture of checker pieces and bottle caps can be scene sprayed out onto the board, a game clearly ongoing. On one side is a flabbergasted old lady, somewhere between the ages of 70 and 120. She looks on at the man across from her, a look of mixed anger and surprise, comical really. Across from her a well-built individual, olive skin shining in the sun, towering over the lady whilst remaining seated. On his face is a carefree grin, painted with strokes of ridicule.
What has gotten the old lady flustered soon becomes obvious as the camera pans to the other side of the man. His hand can be seen sticking out, muscles tensed and bulging, clearly flexing. He has his palm pressed into the back of an older man, definitely as old as or older than the aforementioned lady. He looks to have been pushed to the ground and held there by our olive-skinned friend, it can be deduced that he has been sufficiently de-throned from his game of checkers.
The camera pans back to the muscled man, as he turns to look straight into the lens, ignoring both the cries of the fallen man and his female companion.
Danny Imperial: “Oh well hello there! You seem to have caught me in quite an awkward time, I must say. Clearly I’m trying to destroy this wonderfully beautiful lady at a hard-fought game of checkers.”
He lets out a practiced laughed, a sharp “ha, ha” as he continues on his tirade.
Danny Imperial: “Betsy here fights a hard game, taking my pieces left and right, distracting me with her ancient beauty but I’m no Carl. I’ve never quite been able to say no to woman of her disposition and charm though.”
Danny clicks his tongue once before licking his lips. He glances over at “Betsy”, giving her an exaggerated wink before repeating the gesture towards the camera.
Danny Imperial: “Let me just show her who’s boss here…”
Danny picks up a bottle cap, very exaggeratedly jumping some of “Betsy’s” pieces. He taps his chin, looking like he’s thinking for a second. Suddenly, he swipes a hand across the whole board, showering “Betsy” with the pieces as he stands up onto his feet. He releases the old gentleman from his position on the floor without a glance.
Danny Imperial: “Well! I’ve had quite enough of that, it was clear that I’d won anyways! Betsy here will have to up her game if she’s planning on seducing this man. Ha, ha I ain’t no Carl, no! Mr Camera-Man, play a song for me? Oh wait a minute… That doesn’t sound quite right. Nevermind! Play a song for me anyways, I’m sure I’ll love it.”
Danny begins walking towards the camera, the camera instinctively moving back as he walks forward.
Danny Imperial: “Well, I just wanted to speak to you for a second to tell you about how great I was. Wouldn’t want to pop up in the ring one day and take you lot by surprise would I? No no, that simply won’t do. You’ll most definitely have a heart attack, all you Betsys and Carls out there. So, I thought I’d give you a little taste of Danny boy, Mr Imperial, the Crowned Heart Breaker, Betsy Destroyer and Carl Whooper!
That’s me, that’s right. My name’s Danny Imperial, but you Carls and Betsys can call me Mr Imperial until we get good and frisky.
(In his best ring announcer voice) Weighing in at 215 pounds, hailing from New York City, New York, he is the epitome of the desire of your hearts, he is what makes your panties drop and what makes your husband seem like a sad little pickle, he is what makes you have to wash your sheets in the morning, he is why your husband doesn’t trust you, he most definitely is what makes your man cry at night, he is Danny Impeeeeeeeeeeeeerial!
Aaahhh, the crowd claps wildly here, Betsys go wild and take their shirts off for me and Carls look down as they re-evaluate their significance to this life.
Just remember one thing boys and girls, you think you can do that for me? My name is Danny Imperial, and I will be the best thing that you’ve ever seen.”
Danny grins to the camera, his face warping from his gleeful grin to a darker, more demented smile for a split second. The look quickly leaves his face as he puckers his lips and blows a kiss to the camera. He spreads his arms to either side, his unbuttoned shirt parting down the middle to reveal his muscled body. A three pronged crown is tattooed onto his bare chest, the words “Imperius Rex” clearly scribed under them in cursive. This X-Tron slowly darkens before a bright yellow image is plastered onto it. In vibrant pink writing the words “I’M COMING FOR YA BETSYS” is written across it.
Dewey: We're off to a hot start here tonight folks! Up next, we have a gauntlet match for the XWF Heavymetalweight Championship! The first two contestants are already in the ring.
"Redhead" Kieran O'Connor and Justin Sayn walk in a circle inside the ring. They both attack at the same time and headbutt each other knocking each other out cold at the same time! The referee starts the count and gets to a quick ten just as the men come to!
Eliminated - Kieran O'Connor and Justin Sayn
Dewey: Well, let's try this again.
Out comes Drake soon followed by Mezian. The bell rings again and the two lock up in the middle of the ring.
Dewey: That's a better start! These two men size up pretty good; neither one of them is giving an inch!
Mezian manages to get some leverage and push Drake into the corner. The official, none other than Chaz Bobo, intervenes and cuts between the two newcomers. They break their holds, but Drake takes adavantage of Mezian lowering his defenses and kicks him in his gut. Chaz Bobo warns Drake as Mezian gathers his guts in the far corner. Drake sneaks up behind Mezian and rolls him up tight!! Bobo with the count!!
ONE!!
TWO!!!
THRE-------!!
Dewey: A last second kickout from Mezian! He managed to roll through just before the official reached the three count!
Mezian reaches his feet before Drake and kicks his opponent in the chest. Drake falls to his back and is victim to a flurry of punches from Mezian, followed by a heavy elbow drop! Mezian tries for his own cover and pulls the leg close....
One!
Two!!
Kickout by Drake!
Dewey: These two are back and forth here!
Both men are back to their feet, Drake comes out strong by grabbing Mezian by the head and swinging around for a neck breaker! Mezian flops on the mat a few times before lying still for a moment then attempting his way back to his feet. Drake awaits him in the opposite corner.... As soon as Mezian manages one knee, Drake races across the ring and connects with the Headshot! He takes a quick cover on Mezian!!
One!!
Two!!!!
Three!!!!!!
Eliminated - Mezian
Dewey: There goes another! Chaz Bobo points to the ramp as another has bitten the dust! Who's next?!
Shade makes his way down the ramp and slides into the ring. Drake unleashes a flurry of punches, bounces off the ropes, and lays Shade out with a clothesline! Shade rolls through and springs right back to his feet to just get thrown down again with another clothesline from Drake! It appears he's looking to finish Shade off quickly too as he tucks him under his arm and sets him up for the Ace in the Hole! Shade manages to break his arms free, however, and flips Drake over his shoulders with a Northern lights suplex! Shade bridges to hold for the pin, Chaz Bobo with the count!!!
One!!
Two!!!
Thr---
Drake kicks out at he last possible second! Both men reach their feet and study each other for a moment before tying back up! The push and pull back and forth in the center of the ring until Shade plants a knee into Drake's midsection! He picks Drake up into a powerbomb, runs across the ring a couple of steps, and launches him into the corner!
Dewey: Running Tiger Bomb!
Drake's back bounces off the top turnbuckle and he stumbles back into the center of the ring right into a Death Valley Bomb! Shade with the cover!
One!!
Two!!!
Three!!!!
Eliminated - Drake
Drake rolls out of the ring and makes his way up the ramp. He passes Random who walks halfway down the ramp, then randomly walks back out again! The referee has no choice but to count him out before he even reaches the ring!
Eliminated - Random
Dewey: A lot of these guys seemed like their own worst enemy in this one. I'm not sure what Random wanted to accomplish there, if anything at all... The only one left now is a late entrant in this match-up, Cadryn Tiberius!
Cadryn takes his good ol' time getting to the ring and climbs in. Shade goes immediately on the attack with lefts and rights. He throws Cadryn into the ropes and tries catching him with a superkick, but Cadryn ducks! He bounces from the ropes again and jumps in the air and hits a cross-body! He holds for the cover and Chaz Bobo slides into action!!
One!!
Two!!!
Kickout by Shade! Cadryn takes his time getting up like he did getting into the ring and Shade beats him to his feet! He tries for the super kick again and nails Cadryn across the jaw! He stays on his feet! Shade backs off and nails another one! Cadryn is teedering and falls right into Shade's grasp! Shade turns him over and hits him with a Tombstone Piledriver! He pulls the leg!
Dewey: This could be it!
One!
Two!!
Three!!!
Winner and NEW XWF Heavymetalweight Champion - Shade
Colton Kato's music hits and the General Manager of Savage makes his way down the ramp. He has an XWF=Chaos tee shirt on, and a pair of jeans with tennis shoes. He gets to ringside and puts on a headset.
Joey Styles: Colton Kato is out here. Kato, to what do I owe this pleasure?
There was a touch of sarcasm in his voice.
Kato: I am here for the VIP seats. Ever since Grave decided my show wasn't good enough, I want to see first hand how good Warfare's baby boy really is.
Joey Styles: He isn't exclusive to Warfare, you remember the contract signing.
Kato: He's dead to me, either way.
Joey Styles: So you're just out here to screw Graves over?
Kato: I am going to be a good boy. Just here to watch. Hand to god.
Joey Styles: Pssht, like you believe in god.
Just then The lights in the arena dim, then go to full black. We then hear the eerie sounds of a bell being tolled and then an explosion of fire emitting from the entrance ramp. The beginning of COMANCHE by IN THIS MOMENT begins as the heavy guitar riffs kick in and red strobes dance around the stage. As soon as the verse kicks in, we see Peter Gilmour and his lovely queen Mia Yim come out to the ramp. He says something to Mia, however, and she kisses him before returning to to back.
Tigs: This is an Xtreme Death Match! Introducing first.........from Los Angeles, California, The God of Xtreme......PETER GILLLMOUR
Gilmour turns and walks down the ramp. Peter bobs his head to the song. Peter gets on the turnbuckle and throws up an "X" sign as pyro goes off above the ring. Jumping down he rolls out of the ring and grabs one one of the boxes placed around the ring. He brings it into the ring and sets it in the corner.
Joey Styles: Gilmour has an idea here, interesting.
Kato: I like it.
The lights dim as the entrance stage begins to fill with smoke. The opening cords of "Mayhem blast over the PA system as a large wall of fire engulfs the stage.
As the fire fades away, Micheal Graves walks out from behind the curtain. The metal riffs of Halestorm continue to pound on as Micheal stands there for a moment, surveying the crowd. Micheal slowly walks down the ramp as a small burst of fire erupt at the sides of the stage. The lights rise back up as Micheal rolls into the ring and stares a hole through Gilmour.
Joey Styles: You can cut this tension with a knife.
Kato: Hopefully he does.
Graves and Gilmour circle each other for a few until they finally tie up. Gilmour gets the upper hand early with a knee to the gut, bringing Micheal to his knees. A few elbows to the top of the head by Gilmour before Graves grabs his legs and drops the former champion to his back. Graves is back up, and goes to the corner where Gilmour himself brought a box into the ring. Peter is back to his feet, too.
Joey Styles: Graves looking to bring the weapons out early here, but Graves is back on his feet.
Kato: Not for long.
Graves begins to open the box when Gilmour catches him from behind and slams his face into the turnbuckle. Graves is weary but Gilmour stays persistant and goes to whip him into the other corner but Graves reverses and drops Gilmour torso first over the barb-wire wrapped rope. Peter immediately grabs his torso and rolls on the matt, but Graves stays on the offensive. A few kicks to Gilmour before lifting him up by the head and you can see a series of scattered cuts on Gilmours chest, though they aren't bleeding as badly as you'd imagine. Graves goes to whip Gilmour back into the barwire ropes but Peter counters with a suplex, buying him some time. Graves rolls to his feet and Peter kicks him in the head, then rolls out from under the bottom rope and approaches one of the boxes. Opening it he pulls out a bag that says "Paul Heyman's Jew Gold" on it and as Graves rolls out of the ring to meet him, Gilmour clocks him over the head with it. When Graves goes down, Gilmour empties out the sack, which contained thumb tacks.
Joey Styles: Dear god.......I never knew Heyman's jew gold were an everyday office and school supply!
Kato: Dissapointed?
Joey Styles: Extremely.
Gilmour laughs a maniacle laugh as he lifts Graves up but Graves shoves him off, Gilmour steps back into the tacks and Graves charges. Gilmour delivers a back body drop onto the mat on the outside, but luckily for Graves he missed the tacks. Graves arches his back and Gilmour is pissed. He picks Graves up and knees him in the gut then sets him up for a scoop slam onto the tacks. Graves counters, and shoves Gilmour into the barricade when he turns around he is met with a huge dropkick from Graves that sends him over the barricade and into the sea of Koreans. Graves takes the opportunity to reach under the ring and pull out a table. He sets the table up on the outside of the ring, right above the thumb tacks. Though the placement of the table didn't look as though it was planned.
When Graves turned around Gilmour was up and climbing back over the barricade. Graves hit him with a few punches and then lifted him for a suplex. Gilmour counters this time, and lifts Graves for A SUPLEX THROUGH THE TABLE, ONTO THE TACKS
Joey Styles: GOOD GOD!
Graves is out cold. Gilmour grins and rolls into a cover.
1
2
Graves gets a shoulder up! Gilmour can't believe it. Kicking a bunch of tacks he goes to one of the boxes and pulls out a few light bulb sticks. Graves is crawling out of the wreck when Gilmour picks the light stick over his head and cracks it over Micheal's back with a sickening crack. The blood is now running down Graves's back. Graves takes out another light stick, to try to finish the job. This time Graves moves and the light smashes onto the mat as Graves grabs the steps for leverage. Gilmour is unphased, however, and knees Graves in the head, sending it crashes back against the steps. Graves slumps down and Gilmour goes back under the ring. Pulling out handcuffs and a barb wire wrapped baseball bat, the crowd gasps. Graves is in perfect position and Gilmour swings, but Graves in survival mode and ducks at the last second, cradling Gilmour and dropping him face first onto the steps. Graves, who realizes he bought himself some time, scampers into the ring and tries to catch his wind and get his wits.
Joey Styles: Heads up move there by Graves, who is just trying to surive the Gilmour onslaught here.
Kato: Everyone gets lucky sometimes.
Gilmour has the bat in his hand when he rolls into the ring. Graves sees it out of the corner of his eye, and clotheslines Gilmour, knocking the bat free. Graves reaches for it as Gilmour rolls to his stomach. Graves picks up the bat, but doesn't see Gilmour is starting to stir, he turns around and goes to swing and Gilmour lifts him up into a back body drop, right onto the barbwire rope! Graves is crying out in pain, holding his neck and chest. Gilmour has the bat now. He brings it down across the back of Graves, eliciting another pain shout. Three more shots and Graves is a bloody mess. Gilmour yells "STAY DOWN" and goes to cover
1!
2!
3----NO! Graves kicked out!
Gilmour slaps the mat in frustration and goes to pick the barbwire back back up.
Joey Styles: Peter Gilmour has evil intentions here! This could get even uglier!
Kato: I hope it does.
Graves is a mess, but he is still concious so therefore still dangerous. Gilmour brings the bat down again, but Graves rolls out of the way. The bat sticks into the mat. As Gilmour goes to pull it out of the canvas, Graves low blows him! Gilmour graves his junk and goes to the mat as Graves grabs the bat and shoves it into Peter's side, causing him to flop like a fish on the mat. Graves has a look in his eye now that we haven't seen from him in some time. Possibly ever. He brings the bat down onto Peter's midsection 3 or 4 times, then throws it out of the ring and yells in a posturing style.
Graves goes over to the box that Gilmour brought into the ring, and begins to dig through it. He pulls out a light stick as well, and smiles. He sets it up in the corner, between the two ring buckles. Walking to the middle of the ring he grabs the now bloody Gilmour. He whips Peter into the turnbuckle, but he stops just before he gets to the light, seeing it there. Turning around however, he receives a huge spear from Graves and falls back, smashing the light with a thud.
Joey Styles: Graves digging deep into the playbook tonight. When is the last time we have seen him spear someone?
Kato: He's copying Chaos. Don't blame him, I would too.
Gilmour is slumped in the corner. Graves sets up a light the same way in the other corner, getting a little greedy. He goes to get Gilmour again but he reverses position and the two trade punches in the corner. Those punches turn into chops. Finally Gilmour gets the upper hand and Graves rolls out of the ring. Gilmour gives chase, though both men are moving rather slowly. They continue to trade punches but on the outside Graves gets the upper hand and arm drags Gilmour onto the mat before looking at the handcuffs and getting a sick smile. He goes to get the cuffs as Gilmour rolls around in obvious pain.
Graves rolls into the ring and grabs Gilmours arm. He drags the beaten man to the barbwire ropes, leaving a blood trail, and locks on one cuff. Then the other cuff he hooks onto the ropes. He then proceeds to rain punches down onto the face of Gilmour.
Joey Styles: This is a different side of Graves. We've never seen him this aggressive.
After raining punches down on Gilmour, he walks over and grabs the box that Peter brought into the ring and carries it over to him. Graves flaunts the box in front of Peter's face and says "YOU did this, this is on you." Peter spits at Graves and says "FUCK YOU"
Graves takes a brick out of the box. Shaking his head he tosses it aside. Digging more into the box he grins and pulls out a hammer. With a Grin, Gilmour winces as Graves brings it down onto his face. Gilmour crumples. Graves takes more items of the box and scatters them around the ring. Then, rolling out of the ring, he grabs a piece of plywood with barbed wire on it, a ladder, and a stop sign. As he is setting up a ladder in the ring as well a a table, Gilmour is moving his mouth. It has a lot of blood in it but he gets a shiny thing out of it. It is the handcuff key!
Gilmour undoes the handcuffs with the key! He is up, pouring blood. He grabs the stop sign. Graves turns around, and Gilmour bends the sign over Graves's head. Wobbly he basically falls into Gilmours arms......
SPINEBUSTER THROUGH THE TABLE!
Joey Styles: OH MY GODDDDDD!
Gilmours adrenaline runs out and he crumbles down. Both men are out and the crowd is lit up.
Gilmour begins to stir first, but he has lost a lot of blood. Graves is motionless. After about two minutes, Gilmour gets to his feet. He maneuvers the barbed wire bed to the center of the ring. Lifting up Graves and flicking off the crowd, he goes for the ENDGAME.
Graves, with a burst of energy slips out of it and rolls Gilmour up into a package pin ON TOP OF THE BARBED WIRE BED!
1
2
Gilmour JUST kicks out. Graves roll out of the pin combo. Gilmour rolls out of the ring. Graves slowly follows. Gilmour is up. Graves grabs him, and Peter delivers a thumb to the eye then a snap suplex onto the thumb tacks! The crowd gasps. Gilmour stumbles back to his feet. He doesn't get far before going to one knee. Graves rolls off the tacks and tries to stand. Gilmour rolls him into the ring. Propping Graves up in the corner, he lifts him onto the second rope. Then climbing up, he lifts him to the top. Going for a massive suplex off the top suddenly there was a huge explosion!
BOOOOOOOOOOM
The ring explodes, and collapses down. Both men go flying off the ropes and are down in the center of the ring, covered in blood and motionless.
Slowly...
SLOOOOOOWLY....
Micheal Graves begins to crawl toward the prone body of Peter Gilmour. Both men covered in dust and debris, their hair wet with sweat and blood. The two combatants are barely capable of motion whatsoever.
Graves drags himself across the war torn arena floor, coughing up blood and wheezing from the smoke in the air. Eventually, he gets just close enough to Gilmour to reach out and place a hand on his chest before losing consciousness altogether.
Kato: Aw... how sweet. The way Graves is reaching out to Gilly is almost tender. Looks like the ref is making the count though!
1!
2!
3!!!!!!!!!
Winner by pinfall - Micheal Graves
Kato: Thank god it's over! We need to clean this place up!
Dewey: Well ladies and gentlemen, coming up next we have a match that has been brewing for quite some time. The Dog Collar match, between two men who despise one another... Michael McBride and Thomas Nixon. These two men will be chained together BY THE NECK with a chain that's about ten feet long! Let's get it started, this is sure to be an all out war!
Tig O' Bitties: Introducing first... Michael McBride!
You'll Never Beat The Irish By The Wolfe Tones hits over the P.A. system. Michael walks out ready to fight as he checks his gloves. He walks down the ramp and to the steel steps and walks up them. Once at the top he stops and turns around and looks at the crowd and smirks before he steps between the ropes and leans back on the nearest corner, lights up a cigarette and waits for the match to start.
Tig O' Bitties: And his opponent... one third of the XWF Trios Champions.... THOMAS NIXON!
"My Sacrifice" by Creed booms through the arena, and the crowd cheers in anticipation for the beloved Thomas Nixon. As Scott Stapp's voice plays over the PA, Nixon appears on the stage wearing his black trunks and cape. What stands out to the crowd most is the green lizard insignia on the back of the cape that represents what Thomas is truly fighting for. Nixon races down the ramp, as the crowd applauds him and his cause, whether he is completely insane or not. Nixon hops on the and climbs up the far turnbuckle. Taking off his cape, he then holds it like a flag and gestures at the insignia. The crowd roars in approval, before Thomas enters the ring.
The two men begins screaming at one another as soon as Nixon's feet touch the mat. Old man Johnson gets inbetween them with the two dog collars attached to one another by a thick ten foot steel chain. The old man push them away from each other- handing each of them a collar and just as soon as they each put theirs on he calls for the bell.
Dewey: this match will not be for the faint at heart. To win one of these men have to get the other to quit or knock them out.
As soon as the bell sounds Nixon grabs the chain and pulls McBride toward him- knocking him down with a brutal clothesline and instantly grabs a couple of feet of slack from the chain and starts whipping McBride across the back with it. Huge whelps begin to form right away as McBride rolls around the mat in pain screaming louder and louder as Nixon continues to beat him like a dog.
McBride rolls his way under the bottom rope on the side of the ring near the runway. Nixon tries pulling him back in but is unable, so Nixon tugs with all of his might on the chain- causing Michael's lower back to slam into the ring apron.
Dewey: Nixon is just punishing McBride's back right now. Could this be his strategy going forward?
Nixon rolls out of the ring after McBride who is down on his hands and knees. Nixon sends a rough looking knee right into McBride's ribs causing the Irishman to double over rolling on his back while gasping for air. Nixon lifts McBride, grabbing him by the arm and wiping him toward the barricade....
But McBride reverses and Nixon goes flying overtop of the barricade into the stands! McBride yanks back on the chain from the other side of the barricade, strangling Nixon as he grabs at his dog collar trying to make some separation between it and his neck to breathe. Michael pulls Nixon up a bit further, his back sliding up against the barricade and smashes Nixon right across the forehead with a strong elbow- causing a nasty gash to open on Thomas' head.
McBride wraps his arm around Nixon's head and leaps over the barricade, smashing Nixon face first into the concrete floor of the stands with an unorthodox bulldog. McBride gives Nixon no time to recover, mounting over his enemies back and wrapping the chain around Nixon's throats and pulling back hard as blood starts pouring down Nixon's face, in his mouth and onto his chest.
Dewey: Is the veteran expirence of McBride starting to be too much for the leader of the Lizard people?!?
McBride continues to yank on the chain as Nixon fights up to one knee, his back pressing against McBride's chest. McBride stands all the way up, Nixon stands with him...
Nixon wraps his arms around McBride's head and and flips him forward over his back, slamming McBride on his damaged back to the concrete floor. Nixon falls towards the barricade grasping his throat finally able the breathe. He jumps back over to the ring side area and McBride recovers quickly, jumping on top of the barricade and diving off towards Nixon with a diving axe handle.
But Nixon catches him in midair with an exploder suplex into the ring post. Nixon pounces his pray as McBride screams in agony holding his back. Nixon drops a series of vicious knees and stomps to McBride's back. Nixon lifts McBride and goes to smash his face into the ring post- but McBride blocks with his hands, and grabs Nixon's head ramming him into the unforgiving steel as he bounces off like a basketball on the hardwood.
McBride takes the time with Nixon down to regain his breath. He flips up the ring skirt and pulls a table out from underneath as the fans roar with approval. McBride slides the table into the ring and rolls under the bottom rope, standing to set the table up just in front of the turnbuckle. Just as he does, Nixon jumps up onto the ring apron, quickly grabbing the slack of the chain and runs down to the opposite side of the apron-whipping McBride into the ropes as Nixon throws himself from the apron and is left dangling onto the chain slack just and inch or two below the ring!
Dewey: oh my god! All of Nixon's weight is being applied to McBride's neck as his damaged back awkwardly bends over the top rope!
McBride is scrambling around on his neck, desperately trying anything before he dies from suffocation! He grabs the latch on the dog collar and loosenes it, taking the collar off as Nixon hits the floor. McBride stumbles to the center of the ring gasping for air on one knee.
Dewey: what? He can't do that! Can he do that?!?
Nixon is up quickly and scales the turnbuckle where the table is still wearing the collar and chain. McBride sees him and recovers quickly- running up the other side of the turnbuckle and smashing Nixon in the face with a head butt.
McBride flips Nixon's arm over his shoulder.
Dewey: My god! McBride is looking to superplex him through the table!
But just as McBride lifts Nixon, Thomas sends a tough jab into his ribs.
And another.
And another!
McBride is reeling and about to fall backwards into the table! But Nixon snatches him, throwing McBride's arm over his shoulder and lifting him up in position for some type of diving driver.
Dewey: no!!!!!!!!
Nixon with McBride's head between his legs dives off of the top rope and smashes him through the table with:
Dewey: The Nixonator!!!!!! My god he's killed him!!!!
Old man Johnson runs over and checks on McBride who is getting the chain wrapped around his neck again compliments of Nixon- McBride is either completely knocked out or dead. The ref calls for the bell...
Winner by TKO - Thomas Nixon
Tig O’Bitties enters the ring while referee Mika Hunt holds the ropes open for her.
Crowd: PLEASE LEZ OUT! PLEASE LEZ OUT!
Dewey: Do you think they might lez out?
Tig just winks at Mika and jiggles to the middle of the ring, then brings the microphone to her succulent lips.
Tig O’Bitties: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is for the XWF Hart Championship, and it is a FATAL FOURWAY!
Mika and Tig exchange another furtive glance.
Tig O’Bitties: Introducing first, making his XWF return… weighing 233 pounds… from Tupelo Mississippi… L! J! HAVOOOOOOK!
Pyro hits the stage,and then the lights go out as "Ain't No Place For No Hero" By The Heavy starts playing. Then the lights come back on and LJ Havok is half-way down the ramp, walking cockily and grinning from ear to ear. He gets into the ring antagonizing the audience. He basically tells them to boo more.
Tig O’Bitties: And his opponent… accompanied to the ring by Father Slathe… MISTERRRRR TIDBIIIIIITS!
The Lights begin to flicker on and off at a slow pace, gaining speed until they are almost seizure causing for about ten seconds. Suddenly they shut off leaving the arena completely silent and engulfed in darkness. Then dark purple, queen's purple, and crimson red pyro's begin to erupt down the rampway toward the ring, fans erupt in excitement, "Boo's, Cheers, and Mainly drunken slurs enjoyment. The Jumbotron flickers on…
While the video plays on the large screen a man dressed as a priest known as Father Slathe walks out from behind the curtains at the top of the ramp way, his arms out looking for praise as he casually walks down the rampway with a cigar lit in his mouth dangling below his thick and long black mustache. Making his way about halfway down, he stops and takes a large drag on his cigar, letting out a couple smoke upside down crosses before licking his lip and lower mustache. Father Slathe then walks over to an unlucky fan with a lady friend and proceeds to put his cigar out on the male's forehead, stunning him long enough so that Father Slathe can force a sloppy wet tongue included Kiss on the fan's also unlucky lady friend. Most the time they almost faint in disgust, but kind of are aroused from the tickle of the stache. Father Slathe then quickly bolts to the ring sliding underneath the bottom ropes with the fan quickly in pursuit. Father Slathe in the ring climbs to his knees and hands palms together faces the outraged fan begging and pleading for forgiveness. When suddenly the music stops, Father Slathe starts chuckling out loud with a devilish grin. The Lights shut off once again but quickly come back on, a very sharply dressed Mr. Tidbits stands in the ring with his head slightly tilted to the left staring a hole through the fans back with the black eye sockets of his leather mask. The crowd begins to scream "Behind You!" just as the male fan turns around, Mr. Tidbits begins an onslaught of fists backing the fan into a bare turnbuckle before grabbing him by the throat and Military pressing him over his head and sending him flying over the top ropes and smashing to the ringside floor. Mr. Tidbits then dusts his shoulders and hands off, before returning to his master, Father Slathe, to await his command to destroy.
Tig O’Bitties: And introducing next, from Las Vegas, Nevada… THE OMEGA… ROBERRRRRRRT MAAAIIIIIIIN!
As "Broken Dreams" by Shaman's Harvest begins we watch as Robert "The Omega" Main slowly rises up from the depths of the stage, his back turned to the ring as he rolls his shoulders.
Following Tig's introduction, he turns as the music begins to rise, and after the lyrics "I make them for you" hit the speakers, just as the sting hits, he raises his firearm to the sky, pulls the trigger and unleashes an automatic salvo that has his pockets of fans around the arena cheering enthusiastically. He then hops off the small platform, passes his weapon to a crewman and begins to walk to the ring, avoiding the outstretched hands of the fans in disgust along the way. Once Robert reaches the apron, he eyes those in the ring, smirks, then ascends the stairs to his corner and steps between the ropes exuding confidence.
Tig O’Bitties: And finally, their opponent and the reigning XWF Hart Champion… from Washington, D.C… six foot five… two hundred and ninety pounds… the leader of the Bourbon Men… ROBBIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE BOURBONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
The music plays and pyro goes off, along with wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tubemen. The crowd roars with excitement for their Peoples’ Champion, but Robbie does not emerge. After a few odd moments, Tig tries again.
Tig: Um… ladies and gentlemen… ROBBIE BOURBON!!!
Again music plays, and again no Bourbon. Everyone looks confused.
Dewey: Folks, I’m hearing we have a very unique situation in the back, let’s take you to Steve Sayors!
The scene switches to a hallway, where Steve Sayors is rushing toward a men’s room door. Finally, he shoves his way inside and we see a single occupied stall, with Robbie Bourbon standing anxiously outside of it, doing a weird and uncomfortable dance while holding his Hart Title.
Steve Sayors: Robbie! Your match is up! Your opponents ar already in the ring, what’s going on?”
Robbie: Steve… I… I have to poo.
Steve: What?!?! Robbie this is pay per view! Lethal Lotto! You’re one of the XWF’s biggest draws! Your fans are waiting!
Rob: This is NOT my fault, Sayors! Blame the guy who’s been in this stall for TWENTY MINUTES. Blame the questionable crag Rangoon I may or may not have had for breakfast. But do NOT blame Robbie Bourbon! I never let my fans do… oh god.
Robbie hunches over, clutching his gut. A strangled high-pitched fart noise eemanates and echoes in the tiled room.
Steve: Robbie, you have to get to the match! They’ll strip your title by forfeit!
Rob: Unacceptable! I have no choice, then. Time to groundhog like I’ve never groundhogged before.
Robbie pulls a walkie talkie out from somewhere and clicks a button.
Rob: Smash, I need to get to the ring! Meet me at Gorilla with my brown tights.
The walkie buzzes to life with something garbled and unintelligible, presumably due to the guy on the other end having his face all smashed up.
Rob: Off we go!!!!
And Robbie Bourbon rushes out of the restroom with a fast paced waddle, clenching his buttocks like a true champion. A moment later, a toilet flushes and an extremely relieved looking Drezdin steps out of the stall.
Drezdin: Man, that was great as heck pooping man good stuff yeah.
Drezdin leaves the bathroom without washing his hands and the scene goes back to the ring.
Tig O’Bitties: Ladies and gentlemen, one more time with feeling… ROBBIIIEEEEEEE BOURRRRRRBONNNNNNN!!!!!
This time, when the pyro and tubemen go off, Robbie Bourbon emerges from the backstage area clad from head to toe in brown.
Bourbon makes his way to the ring and hands off his Hart Title to Mika Hunt, who holds the belt in the air and shows it to all of the other competitors before signaling to timekeeper Nipsey Russell for the bell.
DING!
The four men converge.
Tidbits wastes no time going after Bourbon, the man who has slipped through his grasp for the past few weeks.
Dewey: A lot of controversy around the title match between these two last week! Some people say Tidbits was the real winner in that bout, but the referees decisions are all final here in the XWF.
Tidbits muscles the larger Bourbon into the ropes, and Robbie slips through, falling down to the floor outside the ring.
Tidbits moves to follow, but LJ Havok grabs him from behind and shoves him face first into the turnbuckles! Havok takes a step back and snaps a lightning quick dropkick to the back of Tidbits’ head, draping the clown hater over the corner pads.
Havok is cut off from making another move though by Robert Main, who catches Havok from behind and executes a picture perfect overhead release T-bone suplex! Havok bounces across the ring!
Main doesn’t take his foot off the gas, instead racing across to the far ropes and bouncing off, then slamming down onto Havok with a snap senton! Main up again, and he runs the ropes again… caught with a kitchen sink submarine knee from Tidbits! Main somersaults over and lands on his back in a heap!
Tidbits sees a chance, and he scales the ropes! This one got hot quick! Tidbits jumps from the top buckle with a corkscrew… but Havok slides out of the ring just in the nick of time, and Tidbits crashes and burns!
Robbie Bourbon slides into the ring and covers Tidbits!
1!
2!
Broken up by Robert Main!
Dewey: This is a one fall match, Robbie almost squeaked away with an easy title defense!
Main kicks and stomps away on Bourbon, who just covers his head as best he can. Eventually LJ Havok gets to his feet and climbs onto the apron, where he motions for Main to give Bourbon to him. Main agrees, and lifts Robbie to his feet, shoving him into the waiting arms of Hvok, who holds Bourbon’s arms behind him while Robert Main runs the ropes.
Robert Main races to the restrained Bourbon with a hug big boot!
Bourbon got free! Main clocked Havok with that huge kick and sent him flying off of the apron and into the ring barrier! Main’s leg is draped over the top rope, and Robbie sees it… he grabs the top rope and starts yanking it up and down violently, Main stuck straddling the rope like a rodeo rider on a bucking bull!
Dewey: That’ll scramble your eggs!
Bourbon slingshots Main off of the top and lands him right in the center of the ring, then heads for the ropes himself! But as he comes off the ropes, he stops dead in his tracks and grabs at his backside with a grimace!
PHENOMENAL FOREARM FROM MR. TIDBITS!!!
Bourbon is sent back out through the ropes once again and he hits the concrete floor with a thud! Robert Main is slowly getting to his feet, and Tidbits sees him, then bounces off the ropes for some momentum before jumping onto the back of Main’s head with a curbstomp!
Main stands upright! He sends Tidbits into the air, then leaps up and catches his head… SWINGING NECKBEAKER! What a maneuver!
Main stands next to Tidbits… STANDING SHOOTING STAR PRESS! He goes for a cover!
1!
2!
LJ Havok breaks it up!
Havok tosses Main out of the ring by the hair and the back of his tights, sending him chest first onto the floor. He sees Tidbits still squirming on the mat, and he runs for the ropes… LIONSAULT!
TIDBITS GETS HIS KNEES UP!!!!
Havok clutches his ribs in pain as Tidbits pulls him up and tosses him into a corner… BITTY SPLASH!!!! Havok staggers out of the corner, and Bits grabs his hair, yanking him backward… TDD! The Tidbits Death Drop! Bits goes for a cover!
1!
2!
ROBBIE BOURBON DRAGS TIDBITS OFF OF HAVOK!!!
Bits and Bourbon are toe to toe on the ringside floor now after Bourbon pulled Tidbits off and under the bottom rope. Bourbon’s size quickly gives him an edge and he tosses Tidbits into the ring steps! HERECOMES ROBERT MAIN OFF THE APRON WITH A BLOCKBUSTER ONTO BOURBON!!!
Robbie’s head hits the concrete hard, and Main rolls back into the ring to grab Havok, sending him into the corner with a whip… NO! Havok reversed it and sent Main into th opposite corner!
Oh no! Mike Hunt couldn’t get out of the way! Main tried to stop his forward inertia but ended up tripping over himself, and his face slams right into Hunt’s crotch in the corner! Mike Hunt’s eyes roll back in her head and she collapses!
Dewey: That either hurt like hell of felt GREAT. I can’t tell which, but the referee is down either way!
Main watches as Hunt rolls onto her side and turtles up in the fetal position, quivering. He smirks as h gets to his feet, wiping at his mouth, but then he quickly tastes the canvas as Havok nails him from behind with a on handed running bulldog! Main is back up, but woozy… THREE HANDLED MOSS COVERED FAMILY CREDENZA!!!! Havok bridges… but there’s no referee!!! The crowd counts the pin!
1!
2!
3!
4!
5!
Finally, Mr. Tidbits leaps off of the top rope with a 450 splash to break the pinning combination up!
Dewey: Looks like we have some backup arriving!
Old Man Johnson ambles to the ring, and he checks on Mike Hunt before turning his attention to Tidbits, who has LJ Havok scooped into a Michinoku driver! Tidbits hooks a leg and Johnson makes the count!
1!
2!
KICKOUT BY HAVOK!!!
Robert Main back to his feet, and he catches Tidbits from behind… MOON LIGHT DRIVE!!!!
The modified death valley driver plants Tidbits, but LJ Havok grabs Main! Main ducks under a haymaker clothesline, and spins Havok around! ANOTHER MOON LIGHT DRIVE!!!! Tidbits and Havok are down! Main leaps on top of Tidbits with a cover!
1!
2!
ROBBIE BOURBON FROM OUT OF NOWHER WITH A BIG SPLASH!!!! The impact was so huge it knocked Old Man Johnson right out of the ring! That’s two ref bumps, people! RIP, American Dream!
Bourbon flattens Robert Main, then drags him up, clutching his throat with both hands in a double goozle! TWO HANDED CHOKE-ROBBIEBOMB!!!!
Robbie sees Mika Hunt beginning to stir, and he shakes her back to reality. Robbie crawls on top of Main and begs Hunt to count, and she does! Just really slowly!
O
O
O
O
N
N
N
N
E
E
E
T
T
T
T
W
W
W
W
O
O
O
O
O
O
ROBERT MAIN KICKS OUT! BOURBON TOOK TOO LONG!!!
Old Man Johnson climbs back into the ring just as Bourbon looks to set Main up for a neckwrecker.
Meanwhile, Tidbits and Havok are going at it, exchanging some classic catch as catch can Greco roman holds and locks.
Bourbon has Main set up, but then Main wiggles free… he sends a swift kick to Bourbon’s gut…
SQUIRT.
The arena goes silent. A grimace spreads across the face of Robbiee Bourbon, and deathly stank rises up from the ring. Women and children cry.
“Oh, fuck. Robert, just pin me.”
Bourbon flops backward onto the mat! Main pinches his nose, then looks around… he shrugs, then goes for a pin!
Just at that same moment, Mister Tidbits catches LJ Havok! Havok gets lifted up… JOKER DRIVER! A TIDBIT OF A HEADACHE!!!
Old Man Johnson counts Main on Robbie!
1!
Tidbits covers Havok! Mika Hunt is right there!
1!
2!
2!
Tidbits realizes his count won’t finish first! He leaps onto Robert Main!
3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tidbits braks up the cover with a huge elbow, but it’s too late!
DING DING DING!!!!
Tig O’Bitties enters the ring as the two officials break everyone up, and Bourbon sheepishly rolls out of the ring, hurrying up the ramp with his hands over his ass.
Tig O’Bitties: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match by pinfal… and the NEW XWF HART CHAMPION…. ROBERT MAIN!!!!!
Winner and NEW Hart Champion – Robert Main
Main is ecstatic as he is handed his belt, his first singles title here in the XWF! Tidbits is fuming and arguing with the referees over which one of them was legal!
Dewey: What a match!!!!
Dewey: Ladies and gentlemen if you didn't think you could get anymore excited about our PPV tonight, think again! Coming up next is the moment we've all been waiting for... the nearly two month long journey to crown the champion of the Lethal Lottery 4 tournament is upon us! It has been made offical after some scrutiny and confusion, this match will indeed be contested as a triple threat match. BUCKLE YOUR SEAT BELTS FOLKS! WE'RE IN FOR WHAT'S SURE TO BE A WILD RIDE!
Tig O'Bitties: Ladies and gentlemen! The following triple threat contest is our Co-Main Event of the evening and it is a LADDER MATCH which will determine the winner of the Lethal Lottery 4 tournament!
From the rafters, a cord is lowered accompanied with some dramatic music and a boss laser light show. At the end of the cable?
Dewey: What a sight to behold!
Tig O' Bitties: Introducing first.... from Pikeville, Kentucky.... weighing in at ninety-seven pounds... SHE IS the XWF Unified XTREME CHAMPION! DOLLY WAAAAATERS!
As the chorus to Katy Perry's: Roar hits the loud speakers Dolly appears from behind the XTron, walking out slowly to the center of the stage. The crowd goes wild as the young warrior, dressed in her usual ring attire hoists her XTreme Championship in the air, fireworks erupting around her before she makes her way to the ring and awaits the arrival of her opponents.
Tig O' Bitties: Introducing next... currently residing in L.A.... weighing two hundred seventy pounds... TRAAAAAAX!!!!!!!
Walks down to the ring in his wrestling attire and a black trench coat that reads "Mr FN' Dominance" and shades, he looks around at the crowd pointing and beating his chest smiling. Before he walks to the ring like a man with a mission and climbs the ring steps before climbing onto the turnbuckle. He raises his right arm into the air in a clench fist before jump off the turnbuckle into the ring. He takes off his shades and coat places them both into the corner before walking to the middle of the ring shadow boxing as he does, he then stands in the middle of the ring and raises his arm once more in a clenched fist, before backing up into the ring corner and shadow boxing some more and bouncing up and down on the spot waiting for the match to start.
Tig O'Bitties: And finally, the reigning XWF Television Champion.... JIIIIIIIM CAEDUSSSSSSSS!!!!!
"Ready Steady Go" by Paul Oakenfold begins to blast from the PA moments before the ring announcer introduces the party pooper; an extremely gentle euphemism. As the spiel is unloaded the lights cut, plunging the arena in darkness before silver strobes begin to flash and silver spotlights begin to continuously wave from along the length of the entrance walkway to the crowd and back.
Obviously practiced and well-timed, the moment the announcer finishes, "r-r-ready, steady, g-g-go!" is let fly by the song's vocalist and silver pyro erupts from the egress. Before the cloud of smoke dissipates, XWF's own Jim Caedus steps out, TV and Federweight straps over both shoulders, the house lights come up...and so does the ovation. And by ovation, I mean thunderous with every North Korean on his or her feet stomping, clapping and cheering, shaking the arena like it's the Attitude Era heyday Canadian Stampede all over again.
Jim tries his best not to let it impress him as he tracks around the arena in shock. "CAE-DUS!! CAE-DUS!! CAE-DUS!! CAE-DUS!!" Upon the XWFTron Kim Jong-un appears in his luxury skybox chanting along with the Zombie King worshippers. He gives a fat thumbs up before the pov returns to a bird's-eye of the arena.
As the music continues Jim turns his attention to the ring and it's inhabitant(s) then starts an unconcerned slow walk, carefully gathering his long blonde hair into a secured samurai-style bun along the way. At ringside he removes his Dickies jacket and folds it carefully beside his corner's steps before placing his two titles lovingly upon it and ascending to the apron, stepping through the ropes and into battle after nearly 2 minutes have elapsed.
Dewey: Folks at home, I'm not sure if you can get the full impact of the atmosphere right now- but the largest stadium on earth is rocking, folks. The crowd seems to be mostly split on these three superstars, probably the largest portion of the crowd roaring for the Television Champion.
Old Man Johnson takes center ring and raises the 24/7 Briefcase into the air, he walks over and hands the case to Tig as she exits the ring and he calls for the bell.
Dewey: We're underway folks! The first of our two epic Main Events has officially started. WHO WILL BE? THE WINNER OF LETHAL LOTTERY 4?!?
The three combatants slowly step out from their respective corners. Caedus looks around at the nearly 150k plus fans in attendance and begins waving his finger around, signaling to his opponents the magnitude of the match, mouthing out: "Let's give these people a show!"
Trax claps his hands a few times, rubbing them together as a slight grin slides onto his face.
Dolly steps out closer to the center of the ring, she looks at Trax, then over to Caedus: "Good luck" she mouths.
Dewey: OH HERE WE GO!
Trax and Caedus after looking at one another for a split second both rush Dolly Waters, Trax smashes a painful right slub over her head followed by a barrage of strikes while Caedus begins kicking her and kneeing her in the ribs. It doesn't take long at all and Dolly is down on her back trying to cover up but it's having no effect. Jim snatches Dolly up by the hiar, smacking her across the face with an open handed slap then whipping her into the ropes- on the rebound, Trax and Caedus lock arms and crush Dolly across the throat with a nasty double clothesline- she flips almost twice in the air before crashing into the ring directly on her neck.
The crowd roars with approval as Dolly holds her head and rolls oout of the ring under the bottom rope. Trax and Caedus stand center ring, eyeing one another. A breeze comes through the stadiums open roof and blows Caedus' hair out of his eyes. Trax swings a heymaker at the TV Champs face, but Caedus blocks it and swings a left of his own, Trax blocks Caedus's attempt.
The two grapple up in a test of might, Trax slides behind Caedus and wraps his arms around in a waist lock as he pushes Caedus chest first into the ropes trying to get some seperation, but on the rebound Caedus rolls back and pins Trax with a handstand bridge.
....
Trax reverses the pin, flipping on top of Caedus and cradling him...
...................
Dewey: Looks like instinct is kicking in for these two, but there's no pinfalls in a ladder match!
Caedus kicks out after not hearing any sort of count, and Dolly Waters has already moved towards grabbing a ladder into the ring.
Trax is out and both men stand, Trax goes to grab Caedus, but the squirmy TV champ gets behind him.
Dewey: HYB! Jim Caedus has his brutal choke out submission locked in early!
Trax tries breaking free but Caedus has the hold locked in tight, the crowd is going crazy as he moves Trax toward the center of the ring. Caedus can feel Trax fading in his arms, but his eyes widen!
OUT OF NOWHERE!
Dolly dives from the top of the ladder, which she managed to get leaned up against a corner, connecting into Trax's chest with a diving front dropkick, causing Caedus to break the hold as the two are forced into the corner from the kick. Dolly is up off of her back and charging Trax who's stumbling away from the corner, but Trax comes to and grabs the small child, slamming her hard with a stiff belly to belly suplex.
Before Trax can even stand, Caedus sends a chop block into the back of his knee, sending Trax back to the mat, then moves toward the ladder but is shocked to find that Dolly Waters has a firm grip on his leg,preventing him from moving! He looks astounded by her strength!
Dewey: I don't think Jim realizes that Dolly isn't your average little girl!
Caedus lifts Dolly up by her hiar, screaming in her face before easily lifting her and spinning her down onto his knee with a tilt-o-whirl back breaker- and he wont make the mistake again. He lifts her back up, first smacking her in the face with a tough headbut that busts Dolly open and then grabs her waist and slams her neck first to the mat with a german suplex!
Caedus grabs the ladder and sets it up in the center of the ring, but again when he tries to climb, Dolly is clutching at his leg and ankle!
Jim is beside himself, slamming his fists into the ladder with frustration and screaming at the Dolly... Caedus hops down to the mat and....
Dewey: TRAP SILENCER!
Trax delivers the superkick maybe harder than he ever has in his life, only it may have been too hard as it sends Caedus stumbling out of the ring through the middle rope. Trax looks down at Dolly, and feeling she's not a threat he grabs the ladder and sets it up over her body.
Unbelievably, Jim Caedus is already to his feet outside the ring and Trax spots him ... he abandons the ladder and meets Jim on the outside area of the ring like a shark smelling blood in the water. He grabs Jim by the hair and sends him flying into the steel ring steps as they explode with the contact of his body. Trax grabs Caedus , positioning him overtop of the bottom portion of the steps and piledrives him head first on to the steel. Caedus is out cold on the steps, but Trax isn't done yet!
He walks over to the barricade, climbing on top and sizing Caedus up and dives off, smashing into Caedus's chest with a diving elbow drop. Trax jumps up, screaming as the adrenaline begins to course through his veins. He grabs the staggering Caedus again, getting behind him and slamming the back of Jim's head into the steel steps with a crushing german suplex. Trax grabs Caedus again and this time leads him to the ring, he should be well incapacitated by now to pick up an easy pinfall win and finish this.
But just as Trax starts rolling Caedus under the bottom rope, Dolly runs from the other side of the ring and baseball slides into Caedus, kicking the two men away from the apron. The hit jarred Caedus some as he starts picking himself up on the apron and before Trax can realize what's happening, Dolly runs across the ring again and torpedoes through the bottom and middle ropes with a suicide dive into Jim, knocking him into Trax and sending both men to the floor.
Dolly gets up quickly and tries seizing the opportunity. She climbs onto the apron and takes off running, diving off at Trax with a senton! BUT TRAX STANDS AND CATCHES HER! Trax has Dolly up on his shoulders in position for his finisher. Dolly tries hitting him in the head with his fists to release her, but it does no good. He takes off running toward the barricade!
Dewey: OH MY GOD! ODE TO MACHINE!
Trax jackknife powerbombs Dolly into the middle of the barricade, she's out cold! He snatches Dolly up and rolls her into the ring, where she rolls right under the set up ladder.
Caedus comes up from behind and pushes Trax in the back, sending him face first into the ringpost, splitting Trax wide open! Caedus sees Dolly on the ladder and pounces.
Caedus rushes up the ladder and drags Waters down before she can get halfway up.
Jim starts screaming at Dolly and looks to be setting her up for something... But a bleeding Trax dives off from the top rope, slamming Caedus' face down into the mat with a diving bulldog right into the ladder! Caedus's face is shredded and the ladder is knocked onto its side against the ropes.
Trax looks at Dolly though who appears to be standing now, out on her feet. He goes for the superkick, but Dolly dodges and Trax's momentum sends him flying over the top rope and out on to the apron. Just as Trax turns around, Dolly steps up onto the middle rope and connects with an enziguri. Trax is just dangling on to the apron by holding onto the top rope with one arm, Dolly gets up quick and bites his fingers while growling like a little beast, blood gushing out of her forehead. Trax lets go and falls out to the floor, smacking his head hard.
Dolly turns around and Caedus is after her, he goes for the clothesline but she's able to duck as she runs toward the other side of the ring. Caedus follows, but as he does, Dolly springboards from the ropes, turning around in mid air and connecting with a crossbody that does little damage. Dolly foregoes the pin and lays beside Caedus, locking in a tight anaconda vise around his head. The hold does some damage for a moment, but Jim is able to over power the small girl and break free.
He gouges Dolly's eye with his thumb and picks her up for a powerbomb. He goes to powerbomb Dolly out of the ring near where Trax is still down, but as he releases Dolly grabs his head, pulling it down onto the top rope, causing the hard rope to whip lash and smack Jim int the temple, knocking him out as Dolly lands feet first on the apron.
Dolly looks down at Trax and quickly turns around, spring boarding from the apron and landing on Trax with an impressive moonsault. She get's up and struggles to pull Trax's body from the floor as she slowly rolls him on to the announce table. Dolly turns around and flips the ring skirt up onto the apron, and after a few moments pulls a ladder out from under the ring. She struggles with the large object for a moment but finally stands it and kicks open it's legs. Slowly she climbs to the top of the ladder and then positions herself.
Dewey: My god! Dolly is about to take Trax out of the equation!
But from the turnbuckle Caedus dives off onto the ladder about mid way up, and climbs the steps meeting Dolly at the top as the two exchange a flurry of fists. Dolly grabs Jim by the hair and smashes her palm into his nose causing blood to spew everywhere, even some getting into Dolly's eyes. Trax comes to and jumps from off of the table and climbs the opposite side of the ladder.
Trax grabs Dolly by the throat. Jim Caedus grabs Dolly by the throat. The men each put a hand on her back and dive off- sending Dolly smashing through the announce table with a double chokeslam from the ladder! Old Man Johnson scurries outside and checks on Dolly as both Trax and Caedus roll away on either side. He raises his arms over his head in an X shape signaling for the medics to come assist Dolly.
Dewey: Ladies and gentlemen as God as my witness, I believe Dolly Waters is dead!
Trax slides into the ring, Caedus follows behind as two medics rush to ringside with a stretcher and begin getting Dolly out of the match.
Dewey: It appears as if Dolly Waters is no longer going to be a part of this match.
Trax stands and as soon as he sees Caedus in the ring on his feet.
Dewey: WRONG SIDE OF THE TRAX!
Trax covers....
1.............
2..............................
Caedus kicks out! BARELY!
Trax is beside himself, opening his arms out and looking up through the opening in the stadium as if he's asking God what he must do to put the TV Champ away. He gets up and lifts Caedus, setting him up for O.T.M- but on the way down, Caedus reverses with a DDT!
Trax staggers up to his knees from the DDT and Caedus catches him directly in the chest with his Equal Ground Yakuza kick! He doesn't pin though and instead moves Trax to the corner of the ring, lifting him onto the turnbuckle as he goes for his finisher! But Trax slides down his back and turns Caedus around and starts wailing on him with his Trax flurry strikes!
Dewey: Folks! Jim Caedus is being overwhelmed here!
A final crushing right fist to Caedus' head knocks him flat on his back and Trax moves to the ladder! He has it set up! Trax is most of the way up the ladder, but Caedus ambles up the other side, catching Dominance with a hard jab!
Dewey: KATABASIS! FROM THE TOP OF THE LADDER!!!! IT'S OVER!
NO!!!!!!! TRAX JUST BARELY ESCAPES!
But Caedus is quick and spiders his way around to the other side of the ladder! He grabs Trax's head and wraps his legs around his chest as well! Hold Your Breth, fully locked on at the top of the ladder!!!!
Dewey: Trax is lifeless! He may be knocked out!
Jim Caedus releases Trax, who limply falls to the ring with an unconscious thud.
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DOLLY WATERS FLIES INTO THE RING
SHE RUNS UP THE OTHER SIDE OF THE LADDER!!!
- CONNECTING A DEVASTATING RUNNING WATERS DIRECTLY TO CAEDUS' FACE!
DEWEY: WHERE IN THE FUCK DID DOLLY COME FROM!?!
Caedus flies off of the ladder and hits the ropes before bouncing onto the mat face first. The momentum from the move the move sends Dolly flying off of the ladder as well, and she takes a tumble onto the canvas also!
Dewey: Dolly is still in bad shape, but right now she seems to have the most in her tank! Trax and Caedus are both barely twitching, and Waters has managed to limp her way back to the ladder and up a few rungs!
Dolly gets most of the way up, but then Trax desperately stands and flings himself at her legs, yanking her feet out from under her and slamming her face into the ladder rungs.
Dolly shakes her head and turns around to leap off at Trax in retaliation....
TRAP SILENCER!!!!!
The force of that kick just sent Dolly's body through the gaps in between the ladder rungs! She's trapped in the ladder!
Meanwhile, Jim Caedus is back up now and he's shaking the cobwebs out of his own head...
TRAP SILENCER TO CAEDUS!!!!!!
NO!!!!!!!
CAEDUS ULLED THE LADDER INTO THE WAY, AND TRAX'S LEG IS STUCK IN THE LADDER NOW!!!!
Dewey: What incredible timing and luck from Jim Caedus! And he knows it! He's scrambling up the ladder now, but Dolly Waters has managed to free herself and she's climbed up too! She's up on Caedus' back, kicking and screaming and choking away at him!
Caedus is at the top of the ladder, but he can't reach up to the briefcase with Dolly strangling him. He reaches back and grabs the back of her head, flipping her forward over his shoulder!
Dolly's wrestling tutu flips down over her waist, revealing a tiny pair of Hello Kitty panties!
Dewey: Wait... is that a lump? I swear there's a lump in her underoos! DAMN MORBID ANGEL AND THOSE EASTERN EUROPEAN STEROIDS!!!!
Down below, Trax has freed himself from the ladder, and he looks to climb the other side of it to catch Caedus off guard.
CAEDUS THROWS DOLLY WATERS AT TRAX LIKE A JAVELIN!!!!!
Dolly hits Trax right in the face, and thy both hit the mat while Jim Caedus stands atop the ladder just inches from the briefcase!
Caedus reaches up!
HE'S GOT IT!!!! CAEDUS HAS THE 24/7 BRIEFCASE!!!!! HE'S WON THE 2017 LETHAL LOTTO TOURNAMENT!!!!!
Winner of Lethal Lottery and NEW Mr. 24/7 - Jim Caedus
Dewey: Simply amazing effort from everyone involved! I can't believe this incredible show!
Dewey: As is tradition in matches like this the opponent of the Champion will come out first.
The lights in the arena dim to a golden hue. Pyro erupts on both sides of the ramp. Gabe Reno stands with his arms out and back to the crowd. "Golden Age" by Woodkid amps up to a slow burn. The spotlight hits Reno who is decked out in fresh gold wrestling tights. Reno smiles and makes his way down the ramp smirking until reaching the massive cell. He looks up in awe, then enters.
Dewey: Reno seems a little cockier than normal tonight, hard to believe...
Gabe paces inside the cell watching officials confer on how and when to lock the cell for the night of hell that awaits him. The arena goes pitch black. "Die Motherfucker Die" by Dope blares with the X-Tron showing various shots of Chris Chaos holsing the Championship in one hand, and Jenny in the other. He bursts out of the curtain with fierce determination and stomps down the ramp on a mission. Jenny trails trying to keep up. Chris avoids fans hands reached out to greet him, and stays the course walking around to the cell door.
Dewey: Chaos looking trim in his Championship glow tonight.
The champions enter the cell door before an official locks it behind him after a sweet kiss from Jenny. He ascends the steel steps locking on to the challenger who locks on equally in return.
Dewey: Two men no doubt sick of hearing the other talk. The tension is unlike anything you can feel watching at home. These guys want to tear each other a part and have no desire to disguise it.
DING. DING. DING.
Dewey: And here we are, this Hell in a Cell Universal Championship two out of three falls match is underway.
Chaos steps to the center of the ring, meeting Gabe face to face before a blow is exchanged. The two jaw back and forth then get animated as Reno shadows a jerking off motion, then Chaos counters with a mocking Reno strut. Chris gestures to the crowd. They go apeshit chanting each mans name in opposition. Back to the middle they go eye to eye. Looking up at the cell around them then at the others face. Finally Reno strikes with a right hand, then Chris with a right of his own. Blow for blow they exchange. Finally they hit at the same time. Reno staggers back into the rope on one side, Chris into the ropes on the other, running back into eachother with equally devastating double clotheslines leveling both competitors.
Dewey: Neither man backing down early on. We kins of had a feeling it would be like this. These guys at the top of their game in a vicious rivalry for the top prize. Don't expect it to be pretty.
Both slowly rise back to their knees meeting forehead to forehead and using each others hair with handfuls for leverage. Chris slams Reno backward by his hair. Gabe flips up angry and returns the favor. Jenny yells at Chris to get up. He gets to one knee while Gabe springs off the side ropes and baseball slides Chaos' feet out from under him. Gabe gets up and walks over to taunt the audience, bouncing on the bottom rope as he leans on the top. He turns back to a standing Universal Champion who clotheslines him over the top rope to the outside of the ring. Chaos steps out to the apron measuring the recovering Radical. He runs and delivers a knee to the temple from ring apron to the floor. Gabe holds his head in pain then tries to scurry away, but Chris grabs his leg to pull him back. Reno hops up to one foot then goes for a spin wheel kick, but Chaos ducks under and back body drops him into the cell. The crowd erupts.
Dewey: Big miss by Gabe, and that cannot feel good.
Chaos looks over at Jenny outside the cell. She leans in for a kiss through the chainlink fencing but the cameraman catches he sliding what like like pliars to him through the diamond shaped tint chain opening. Chris holds up the small bolt cutter pliars, then balls them up in his fist and clocks Gabe in the crown of the head. He turns around as the in ring ref checks on Reno.
Dewey: Reno not starting this match the way he would like to here.
Clip. Clip. Clip. Clip. Clip.
Dewey: Chaos is getting serious now. Dangerous thing he is doing, hopefully with some kind of plan.
Chris grins through the jagged wire chair opening to the outside. A cut out gets pushed through. Chris picks up Gabe by the hair. He winds up and Irish whips his partner through the cell cutout. Reno gets gashed in the back on the way out. He stumbles holding the lower part of his back as blood flows. Gabe holds up his hands standing in the corner, as Chaos charges and spears him through the black barrier into Nipsey's timekeepers table.
Dewey: HOLY HELL, RENO IS BROKEN!
Chris stirs back to his feet shaking his head from the inadvertant impact on his own body. He gets up trying to regain feeling in his shoulder with exercises and rotations. While twerking his shoulder around he notices Gabe pulling himself back up using a fan. Chris looks up at the top of the cell and gets a crazy glare in his stare. He incoherently pulls his own hair and points up as if to call his shot. Walking aggressively he pulls Reno off the fan, and drags him to the bottom of the cell, he smacks Gabe in the face to get his attention. He points to the top of the cell. Gabe shakes his head no. Chris slaps him again and demands Reno climb, lifting him up and throwing him into the cell. Gabe grabs on like a spider for self preservation alone, then climbs to avoid the pursuing Champion.
Dewey: BUSINESS IS ABOUT TO PICK UP, THEY ARE GOING TO THE TOP!
Reno gets to the top exhausted and bleeding down his back perfusely. Chaos catches up, putting his hands on the top to lift himself up. Gabe begins a vicious dance of stomping Chris' fingers as he moves one in pain then grabs the cell to avoid falling, then switching to do it again hand to hand to fens off Reno's attempts. Teetering on the side, Chaos finally catches Gabe's foot and pushes him back long enough to finish climbing to the top flat caged plateau. Chaos takes a few steps as Jenny screams at him to watch out. Gabe runs at him, but the warning gives Chris time to counter into a massive back body drop devastating Reno's already bloodied back even further on the sharp chainlink cell. The top bows nearly breaking to the velocity the Reno's battered body.
Dewey: MY GOD, RENO MIGHT BE DONE WRESTLING WHEN THIS IS OVER, HIS BACK IS TAKING A BEATING. Chris doesn't seem to mind!
Chaos mounts him and delivers fist after closed fist to the head, causing Gabe's forehead to pour as well. Chris looks out at the crowd over the side of the cage and yells "I TOLD YOU HOW THIS WOULD GO". They are a mixed chorus of cheers and boos.
Dewey: This is a fight folks, Gabe's in ring skills are not gonna help him way up there or on the outside, he needs to get this back in the ring to have any shot before it's too late. Don't kid yourself, Chaos knows that. He is wearing the challenger out. Blood loss will make a huge difference in recovery ability.
Chaos gets him up with Gabe's arms dangling limp to his sides. He elbows Reno in the face. Gabe out of nowhere retaliates with an elbow back. Reno follows with a quick chop to the chest. Then another. Chaos leans back then propels forward with a head-butt that drops both to their backs on top of the cell. The angle from in ring shows the blood from Reno's head and back deipping through down to the canvas.
Dewey: This match could end up being stopped if Reno cannot continue at some point. His shot will turn to dust. You've gotta believe somewhere in his head his instincts still know that. Chaos to his feet here...
Chris tries to lift Reno who reverses into a German position and suplexes Chaos. He refuses to let go rolling with Chaos into another German nearly slipping where the concave from the oreviosu back body drop imprinted the cell. Jenny is trying to tell Chris but he is stunned. Reno holds on giving everything he has to one last German propelling with release Chris backwards.
Dewey: NOOOOOO! PLEASE GOD NO!
Chaos hit the concaved area shoulders first with force falling through the top to the ring below back first. The ref motions to officials who open the door to get to his motionless body laid out. Reno gathers himself.
Dewey: CHAOS WENT THROUGH!!! CHAOSSS WENNNT THROUGHH!!
Reno with his bloody face and back looks down at Chaos, concerned at first then walks in a circle before looking high above at the Lethal Lottery banner. He points up, and looks down at the Universal Championship on the table below. He walks to the open area om the cage and puts to arms out. Officials in the ring clear out waving his off to say no.
Dewey: NOOO! IT WOULD BE SUICIDE! DON'T DO IT! STOP HIMMM!
Reno takes a breath and front flips down into the cell into a leg drop onto Chaos for a high RATED R.
Dewey: GABE JUST COMMITTED CAREER SUICIDE AND MAYBE MIRDER ON HIS OWN PARTNER! BY GOD! GET SOME HELP OUT HERE! HURRY THE HELL UP BEFORE SOMEBODY DIES!
Gabe's head moves slightly, his arm crossing the chest barely of Chaos, the ref gets down.
1...
2...
3!
Dewey: RENO HAS A FALL BUT WILL IT EVEN MATTER HERE!?
The ref talks to Gabe who shakes his blood covered face no over and over to the request to end the match. He pulls the ref's shirt and threattens him not to end it.
A: He wants to go on and you admire the spirit but Chaos is just now moving. Jenny is beside herself outside being restrained by officials. Vince Lane is walking down the ramp, he looks concerned for the well being of these two warriors...
Vince talks to the ringside officials aboit what he wants done. In the ring Gabe gets to his feet finally. He sees what is going on outside the ring and uses all of his remaining wherewithall to pick Chaos up. Chris reverses into a small package. The ref turns and realizes, he looks at Lane who shrugs. The count.
1...
2...
3!
Gabe kicks out too late, and sits in shock as Chris rolls over seemingly exhausted.
Dewey: VINCENT LET THE REFEREE COUNT, WE ARE ALL TIED UP AT 1, NEXT FALL GOES HOME CHAMPION PEOPLE!!!
Vincent Lane shouts to the ref to check on both men, but when he gets close to Gabe Reno, Reno shoves him away, knocking him down. Lane jaws at Reno and points at him, trying to gain some measure of control.
Meanwhile, Jenny Myst has handed something to Chaos. It looks like some sort of fist loader.
Reno eventually gets to his feet, and he keeps shouting down at Lane who enters the Cell area!
Dewey: Vincent Lane is up on the apron! this crowd is going apeshit for the former Universal Champion and current XWF Chief!
Gabe Reno walks right up to Lane's face... the two men are shouting loudly now, with Lane trying to show that he is in charge. He can't get through to Reno, though, whose ego has taken control of him one hundred percent.
The ref pulls Reno away from Lane, and it seems like it gets through to him. Reno holds his hands up in a submissive manner, taking a step back.
THEN HE JUMPS FORWARD AND COLDCOCKS VINCENT LANE!!!!
Dewey: Reno just hit the owner of the XWF with a superman punch, and Vincent Lane went right through the Italian announce table! That's not molto bene!
In the ring, the referee admonishes Gabe Reno, and then Chris Chaos spins the challenger around and swings a wicked haymaker with that loaded fist.
GABE RENO DUCKS OUT OF THE WAY!!!!!!
Chris Chaos nails the referee with his loaded hand, and an explosion of quarters erupts from between his fingers as the roll of coins ruptures. The referee collapses on the mat, completely unconscious.
Chaos shrugs and smiles at the carnage he's caused... then turns around and gets eaten up by a huge spear from Gabe Reno!
Dewey: Reno using one of Chaos' own big moves against him! Chaos is stunned!
Reno sits on top of Chris Chaos, throwing stiff punches down into the Universal Champion's forehead and splitting him open even more.
Reno lifts Chaos off of the mat and drags him around by his long hair, streaked with crimson blood. He sends a few cocky kicks into the face of Chaos, laughing and calling over to Vincent Lane, who's only just barely begun digging himself out of the debris from the announcers' table.
Lane scowls in anger as Reno grins and flips him a bird.
"Hey 'Loverboy,' watch this.... BITCH."
Reno gathers Chaos up, it looks like he's going to give him a piledriver... but Chaos slams his forearm up between Reno's legs! Reno is frozen in place, and Chaos stands up... then field goal kicks those Radical Renos! Reno quivers and then falls face first onto the mat!
Jenny Myst gets onto the apron and gives Chaos a kiss as they share a laugh at the unmoving carcass of the Radical.
Dewey: Chaos smells blood in the water here!
Chaos drags a lifeless Gabe Reno up to his feet and then scoops him up onto his shoulders. Chaos with a massive grin on his face as he starts to spin Reno in the Equalizer!
"EEEEEEKKK!!!"
Gabe Reno reached over the top rope and grabbed two handfuls of Jenny Myst's hair! Chaos sees Myst in trouble and he lets go of Reno, dropping him onto the canvas and checking on his girl!
Myst pulls a few loosened strands of her hair out, and Chaos looks back to see Reno laughing with a bunch of ripped out blonde hairs around his fingers as well.
Chaos rushes at Reno, kicking and stomping at him, then pulls him up and whips him into the ropes looking for a spear!
CLANGGG!!!!!!
Dewey: Vincent Lane just drilled the top portion of those ringside steps into the back of Gabe Reno! Lane is incensed from being assaulted!
Vincent Lane tosses the steps into the ring and points at them while yelling at Chaos to use them. Chaos licks his lips with bloodlust, but he motions for Lane to get into the ring as well!
Chaos holds Gabe Reno in a full nelson and beckons Lane to take a free shot!
Lane shakes his head... but then a look comes over him as he looks down at the splintered remains of the announcers' table outside the ring, and he charges forward with a huge superkick!!!!
GABE RENO SLIPPED OUT OF THE WAY!!!!!!!!
VINCENT LANE JUST DROPPED CHRIS CHAOS AND HE LOOKS SHOCKED!
Lane stands looking down at Chaos, his hands on his head in disbelief. Gabe Reno gathers Chris Chaos up and hooks his arms, staring right into Lane's eyes as he positions him over the ring steps....
BLACK
LABEL
DRIVER!!!!!
Dewey: Gabe Reno just used Vincent Lane's own former finishing move on the Universal Champion! He dropped Chaos headfirst right onto those steps and now he's making a pin! Gabe Reno is pointing at Lane, and reminding him that Lane IS an official in the XWF! He has to make the count!
Vincent Lane gets down on the mat and gets eye to eye with Gabe Reno, grimacing right in his grinning face as he drops his hand to the canvas.
1!
2!
3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dewey: Reno did it! Lane is pissed, he just rolled out of the ring and hightailed it to the back without a word!
Winner and the NEW XWF Universal Champion - "The Radical" Gabe Reno
Dewey: Gabe Reno is completely spent, but he exits the ring and snatches the Universal Title from the timekeeper's area and holds it over his head triumphantly! What a match! What a show!
Lethal Lotto fades away as Gabe Reno holds his belt over his head, and the crowd boos their asses off.
XWF FanBase: The IWC (gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)
Steve Sayors catches up with a limping, battered and bruised Dolly Waters backstage following Lethal Lottery.
Steve: Dolly! Dolly!
She reluctantly turns back to Steve,
Steve: Dolly do you want to talk about that amazing ladder match we all witnessed out there tonight?
Dolly rolls her eyes, visibly upset as her teeth grind
Dolly: Go ahead... go ahead and ask away Steve so I can look into this camera and admit to the world that I failed. Go ahead and ask how I'm feeling so I can tell the world that this sucks, that this is the worst feeling in the world, Steve. Go ahead and ask what I could have done differently so I can tell you...
Dolly pauses for a moment, her red eyes widening,
Dolly: Nothing. Absolutely nothing, Steve. I went out there and laid it all on the line just like I promised, and at the end, Jim Caedus...
Jim Caedus was the better competitor. Better than Trax...
Dolly exhales deeply through her nostrils, her voice rattling as she says:
Dolly:.... better than Dolly Waters.
She bites down on her bottom lip, looking away from the camera for a moment before turning back to Steve,
Dolly: Jim Caedus? Trax? Those guys are the real deal... and if Gabe Reno knows what's good for him, he better be watching over his shoulder 24/7, because that fre- that man who just won the case? He'll be taking that Universal Title. It's only a matter of time.
Steve: Dolly, you're still the Unified XTreme Champion. So what's next for Dolly Waters?
Dolly sends a scoff and a half assed smile,
Dolly: Improvement, Steve.
The scene fades as Dolly slaps the title on shoulder and limps on down the hallway.
The following 3 users Like Misty Waters's post:3 users Like Misty Waters's post (04-03-2017), JimCaedus (04-03-2017), Mr Killjoy (04-03-2017)
::Immediately following the Lethal Lottery 4 Triple Threat Match Final::
I stumble back through the egress at the top of the ramp as if in a dream, clutching my armful of 24/7 Briefcase and XWF TV and Federweight titles.
Is this really happening? Did I- Did I just-
"Jim Caedus!"
What with the adrenaline, the blood pumping from multiple wounds and my heart pounding in my ears, Steve Sayors sounds so far despite calling out to me from a mere 25 feet away.
I stumble over to the man. I need to clarify what just happened.
"Jim you-"
"Did I do it Steve? Am I imagining this shit?"
Steve smiles in understanding.
"Yes Jim, you won the XWF 24/7 Briefcase!"
That settles it...I took some major cranial damage tonight but by God this is no dream... I've achieved the impossible...I've survived the two most gifted and challenging competitors I've ever faced...the incomparable _TRAX_...and...and Dolly FUCKIN' Waters!! I...I did it!
"Do you have anything to say Jim?"
"This...is the greatest day of my life, Steve!"
I stumble away, headed straight for the EMTs.
Shout out to Gator/Noah Jackson for this kickass banner
~XWF ALL TIME TOP 50 - #6!!!! <3
~Efed Podcast Top 100 - #74 w/no Twitter (all credit to you, fam, 🙏 <3)
~XWF UNIVERSAL CHAMPION - 2x
~XWF XTREME CHAMPION - 2x
~XWF TAG TEAM CHAMPION w/Chaos then Engy, w/APEX x2 - 3x
~XWF 24/7 Briefcase - 3x
~XWF Trio Tag Champion w/Ax3 - 1x
~XWF Television Champion - 1x (undefeated)
~XWF Federweight Champion - 2x
~XWF Triple Title Holder - 1x (TV, Federweight & 24/7 case)
~XWF Double Title Holder - 5x (TV/Fedr, Uni/Trio, Tag/24/7, X/24/7 & Uni/Tag)
~XWF 2017 Lethal Lottery IV Tournament winner!!
~XWF 2017 Leap of Faith Rafter Match winner!!
~XWF 2017 2nd Annual Doc D'Ville Shove-It Rumble Co-Winner w/Chaos!!
~XWF 2017 War Games Co-Winner with Rob Main & Drew Archyle as APEX!!
~XWF Feb. 2017 J. Federweight Scramble Winner!!
~XWF January 2017 RP of the Month!! - "Like a Moth to the Flame"
~XWF February 2017 Star of the Month!!
~XWF March 2017 3-Way Star of the Month!!
~XWF September 2017 RP of the Month!! - "Lions & Tigers & Caedus, Oh Shit"
~XWF July 2021 QOTM!! - line from "Took It All"
~XWF October 2021 RP of the Month!! - "This Just In" audio
~XWF November 2021 Star of the Month!! (3rd time!!!!!!)
~XWF Match of the Year 2021 w/Bourbsy!! - X-Treme, Flynn's Audio Shove-It
---Love Me, Like Me, Hate Me. No Worries---
Gator's Archive💙
In Loving Memory of Captain Dick Powers
Gravy's Archive💙
Shout out to Gravy for these kickass banners
The following 4 users Like JimCaedus's post:4 users Like JimCaedus's post (04-03-2017), (04-04-2017), Misty Waters (04-03-2017), Vincent Lane (04-04-2017)
ooc: I can't believe this. This is the coolest thing that's ever happened to me in efeds! Dolly, Trax, thank you so much for such an unbelievable match, you are the best I've ever faced in 20 years! Thank you Vincent and everyone who helped put this card together it's a kick ass epic!
Shout out to Gator/Noah Jackson for this kickass banner
~XWF ALL TIME TOP 50 - #6!!!! <3
~Efed Podcast Top 100 - #74 w/no Twitter (all credit to you, fam, 🙏 <3)
~XWF UNIVERSAL CHAMPION - 2x
~XWF XTREME CHAMPION - 2x
~XWF TAG TEAM CHAMPION w/Chaos then Engy, w/APEX x2 - 3x
~XWF 24/7 Briefcase - 3x
~XWF Trio Tag Champion w/Ax3 - 1x
~XWF Television Champion - 1x (undefeated)
~XWF Federweight Champion - 2x
~XWF Triple Title Holder - 1x (TV, Federweight & 24/7 case)
~XWF Double Title Holder - 5x (TV/Fedr, Uni/Trio, Tag/24/7, X/24/7 & Uni/Tag)
~XWF 2017 Lethal Lottery IV Tournament winner!!
~XWF 2017 Leap of Faith Rafter Match winner!!
~XWF 2017 2nd Annual Doc D'Ville Shove-It Rumble Co-Winner w/Chaos!!
~XWF 2017 War Games Co-Winner with Rob Main & Drew Archyle as APEX!!
~XWF Feb. 2017 J. Federweight Scramble Winner!!
~XWF January 2017 RP of the Month!! - "Like a Moth to the Flame"
~XWF February 2017 Star of the Month!!
~XWF March 2017 3-Way Star of the Month!!
~XWF September 2017 RP of the Month!! - "Lions & Tigers & Caedus, Oh Shit"
~XWF July 2021 QOTM!! - line from "Took It All"
~XWF October 2021 RP of the Month!! - "This Just In" audio
~XWF November 2021 Star of the Month!! (3rd time!!!!!!)
~XWF Match of the Year 2021 w/Bourbsy!! - X-Treme, Flynn's Audio Shove-It
---Love Me, Like Me, Hate Me. No Worries---
Gator's Archive💙
In Loving Memory of Captain Dick Powers
Gravy's Archive💙
Shout out to Gravy for these kickass banners
The following 4 users Like JimCaedus's post:4 users Like JimCaedus's post (04-03-2017), Misty Waters (04-03-2017), Mr Killjoy (04-03-2017), Tommy Gunn (04-04-2017)
I told you that you couldn't do it Gilly! King of Xtreme my ass!
Now
S
U
C
K
M
Y
D
I
C
K
!
The following 3 users Like "Dark Warrior" Micheal Graves's post:3 users Like "Dark Warrior" Micheal Graves's post (04-04-2017), JimCaedus (04-03-2017), Vincent Lane (04-04-2017)
Oh shit! Hater alert! The following 1 user Hates "Dark Warrior" Micheal Graves's post!1 user Hates "Dark Warrior" Micheal Graves's post Peter Fn Gilmour (04-03-2017)
After one of the most dangerous and BRUTALLL matches in XWF history, we saw Micheal Graves defeat Peter Gilmour in a bloody, EPIC match that saw the ring implode and both combatants wore out. Wait a second, we go into the back where Peter Gilmour is being attended to by the XWF medical staff. He is very bloody and looks like he went through a war. Sadly he lost a match of his liking to Micheal Graves. The doctors begin to wipe the blood off the blood off of Peter's chest and face. The amount of blood Peter lost covered 3 towels. YIKES!
We see Peter's girlfriend Mia Yim with Peter watching on and seeming concerned for her man. The doctors then begin to put tape and bandages over Peter's chest and head. Suddenly, we see Steve Sayors come in, after talking to Dolly Waters. Man, that guy gets around eh? Steve goes up to Peter as he's propped up by the medical staff. Peter begins to breathe a little slowly as he must have internal injuries as well.
Steve: Peter, you look like crud. Care to say anything about what you went through?
Peter: I won't lie to you Steven. I went through a war with Micheal Graves. But unfortunately, I didn't come out the winner. He took me to the Xtreme and all I can really say is that I lost to the better man. Clearly, Graves is more Xtreme than the God of Xtreme.
Peter slowly begins to get off the table and leave the room. But Steven stops him before he exits the door and asks him one final question.
Steve: Peter, one final question. Where do you go from here? Do you try to go for the Universal Title that Gabe Reno has? Or the Hart Title that Robert Main now has?
Peter: Heh, well Robert Main did challenge me for a match so I guess I owe him an answer. Robert, we'll dance real soon so shine that belt up for me. But as for where do I go from here? I dunno Steve. I've done all I can for the XWF. I've won just about every title here. Maybe it's time for me to walk away. Maybe it's time to say goodbye.
Steve: You can't be serious? You're leaving the XWF?
Peter gives Steve an evil smirk then says one final thing to him and the XWF universe as he looks into the camera.
Peter: The only thing I'll say Steven is that next Warfare... you will see a brand new Peter Gilmour.
Steve: What is Peter talking about? What will he come back as? Will the fat chick thrilla come back? Who else will come back? Who knows but we'll see next Warfare. Steve Sayors saying.. goodbye.
SUCK... MY... DICK!
3X Star of the Month
Former 3x Hart Champion
Former 13X Xtreme Champion
Former 6X Tag Champion
Former 2X Trios Champion
Former 2x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
Former Universal Champion
The following 2 users Like Peter Fn Gilmour's post:2 users Like Peter Fn Gilmour's post (04-03-2017), JimCaedus (04-03-2017)
Trax is backstage sitting on a steel chair, his head bowed looking down at the floor. Steve Sayors approaches him, warily, understandably being familiar with Mr FN' Dominance's temperament.
Um, Trax... tonight you and Dolly came out short in the triple threat ladder match for the 24/7 briefcase with Jim Caedus getting the win...do you have any comments regarding the match?
Steve lowers his mic in Trax's face and Trax gets out the seat and stares at SS before yanking the microphone out his hands and looking into the camera.
Yeah I got a couple of words, before I talk about the match let me, my apologies Dolly, talk about the past. The whole point of me coming back to XWF was because I thought it was in dire straits, Scully was Universal Champion, a lot of the guys who were actual TRUE top guys when I first started were either happily retired like Duke, forced to retire like Lane or MIA like Game Girl. I thought yeah...XWF is in real deep shit right now, there's nobody really worth a damn that was capable of putting on classics or asses in seats like myself, so I came back...and you know what I realized? I realized...that actually wasn't the case...I was wrong. XWF is better now than its ever been, some of these newer guys are great at what they do and have shown they can hang with the best of them, even Mr FN' Dominance. Chris Chaos may of lost his Universal Championship tonight but he was the best Universal Champion since Vinnie Lane no doubt. Gabe Reno may be a slimly, sly, cheating weasel and I've got unfinished business with that soccer mom looking motherfucker but goddamn can that soccer mom go in the ring when he actually wants to, congrats on the win Champ. Now...as for the match I had against Dolly Waters and Caedus, let me say this....those two guys are two of the best competitors I've ever stepped in the ring with, ever. The size of Dolly's heart and fortitude is bigger then her body and she's about 10 years away from hitting her PRIME yet, her potential is scarily unlimitless, as for Caedus well he's just one tough motherfucker and I hope the dude stops being so goddamn insecure and realizes now he's right up there with myself and the other guys roaming around that people consider elite. People like to call me egotistical but I've always given credit when credit is due and well, credit is due. I WILL be Universal Champion again in 2017, sooner rather than later but... Caedus, you crazy son of a bitch...you did good, better than good actually, you better than me and Dolly tonight, which is incredible and you DESERVE that briefcase. That's all I've got to say.
Trax passes the stunned Steve Sayors the mic back and walks away heading to his locker room as the scene fades.
OOC: Amazing show and effort from everyone especially my opponents, easily one of the toughest yet funnest challenges I've EVER had.
Banner created by Gabe "The Radical" Reno
XWF Career accomplishments/Highlights:
One Time XWF Universal Champion
Two Time X-Treme Champion
One Time Intercontinental Champion
One Time World Tag Team Champion
XWF All Time Top 50 inductee
One Time 24/7 Briefcase Holder
Intercontinental Royal Rumble Winner
Captained the winning team "Team Dominance" at War Games '15
Lethal Lottery IV Finalist
July 2015 Superstar Of The Month
March 2017 Superstar Of The Month
October 2016 Promo Of The Month "Changes"
The following 4 users Like Mr Killjoy's post:4 users Like Mr Killjoy's post (04-03-2017), JimCaedus (04-04-2017), Peter Fn Gilmour (04-03-2017), Vincent Lane (04-04-2017)
Gabe Reno sits with his feet dangled off a camera equipment trunk after his match somewhere in the halls of the North Korean giantic 1st of May Stadium.
WHOOOOOOOOOA. FIRST OF ALL. Congratulations to all of you who won tonight... especially... ME! Chris Chaos is pretty quick to jump back into the water unprepared, I guess some people never learn, even SOME ICONS! Now the XWF Universe is tired of these played out tactics... and I WILL NOT BITE! THEY deserve a better class of champion... EVEN THE LOSERS WHICH IS MOST OF THEM... and I'm gonna give it to 'um! LADIES AND GENTS... WELCOME TO THE NEW...
RENOVERSE!!!
He hugs his Championship shouting RENOVERSAL down the hall getting questionable glares, but uncaringly continuing.
The following 1 user Likes R A D I C A L's post:1 user Likes R A D I C A L's post JimCaedus (04-04-2017)
We see Drake sitting on a crate in the back, he eyes facing the ground. However, upon seeing Steven Saylors looks up.
"Drake, tonight you made your XWF debut in the Heavy MetalWeight Championship guantlet match, however, you were eliminated by Shade. Do have any comments?"
Drake lightly chuckles to himself before speaking into the mic.
"It would appear that I have underestimated the strength of these mortals. I got cocky against Shade...and it appears that has cost me. I won't make the same mistake again. That championship, Saylors, will be mine, even if I have to kill everyone on this roster to get it. For now, I will bide my time."
Drake walks away down the hall, raking his hands through his hair as he goes.
(OOC: OMG!! My first XWF event, and I can safely say this place is amazing! Well done all! Great show!
Now, have a clapping Shia LaBeouf GIF to celebrate)
1 x X-Treme Champion
2 x Heavy Metalweight Champion
XWF FanBase: The IWC (gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)
The camera picks up Robert walking through the parking lot of the arena. He’s wearing a charcoal suit with his aviator sunglasses. He looks over at the camera for a moment and smiles, before stopping at his white Cadillac limo. Robert opens the door, but doesn’t get in. Cigar smoke bellows out, as a limo full of beautiful women begin yelling at Robert. Robert leans in and motions to the women wait a second. He then turns back to the camera adjusting The Heart Championship laying over his shoulder.
” Tonight! What a night! A3X clean sweep! Graves beat that low life Peter Gilmour! Beat isn’t a strong enough word. Eviscerated him! Jim won Lethal Lottery! Are you kidding me? Jim is going to be the next Universal Champion! Right after him and I snatch up those Tag Team Titles! Oh.. And if you’ll look on my shoulder! Yeah that right there is The Heart Championship! I told those three want to be wrestlers they were not on my level. I put on a clinic out there tonight! As Champion I will not only defend this championship to those worthy to grace the ring with me. But I will keep it longer than any other champion that has held this belt! I’m making history baby!
Gilmour I heard you running your skin flute playing mouth! Which I find odd! Yeah I did call you out! But you are running your mouth? Let’s gets some wins before you talk about me! You really think you deserve a shot at the Heart Championship? Unlike everyone else around here in the XWF, I’m going to make you earn it! You want me? Prove you are worthy! If and when you do! I won’t have a shit partner! Now if you will excuse me. I need to get the hell out of this country and get stateside!”
Former:
x2
x2
Longest Reigning Tag Team Champions in modern history. W- Drew Archyle & James Raven
Longest Reigning Hart Champion in modern history:280 days
2nd longest reigning Universal Champion :269 days
Tag Team Champions W- "Chronic" Chris Page as Cataclysm
Trio's Champion W- AX3
2020 May Superstar Of The Month
Winning Team Wargames 2020
Winning Team War Games 2019 W- APEX PROPHECY
2019 Feud of the year W- "Chronic" Chris Page
2019 Tag Team of the Year W- Drew Archyle & James Raven as APEX
Roleplay of the Month February 2019 "Junkyard Dog"
Leap Of Faith Winner 2018
July 2018 Superstar Of The Month
December 2018 Superstar Of The Month
December 2017 Superstar Of The Month
Winning Team War Games 2017 W- APEX
Mr. 24/7
The following 3 users Like Robert "The Omega" Main's post:3 users Like Robert "The Omega" Main's post (04-04-2017), Jane Carver (04-04-2017), JimCaedus (04-04-2017)
and shine it up because I'm coming to rip it out of your hands
SUCK... MY... DICK!
3X Star of the Month
Former 3x Hart Champion
Former 13X Xtreme Champion
Former 6X Tag Champion
Former 2X Trios Champion
Former 2x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
Former Universal Champion
XWF FanBase: The IWC (gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)
(04-04-2017, 12:33 PM)Micheal Graves Said: Hey Pete, if you couldn't beat me, what makes you think that you deserve a shot at my brother in arms?
every dog has its day dude
SUCK... MY... DICK!
3X Star of the Month
Former 3x Hart Champion
Former 13X Xtreme Champion
Former 6X Tag Champion
Former 2X Trios Champion
Former 2x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
Former Universal Champion
You know what Gilly, I'm going to lay off. Truth is, you gave me a hell of a fight. That match easily could have gone either way, couldn't it? I mean, it could be me standing here trying to swallow my pride and admit that for all of my talk, I just wasn't the Xtreme badass that I claimed to be. Boy that'd suck ass!
A cocky smirk falls across Micheal's face
Good thing I won huh?
Micheal laughs out loud
Gilbert, if you want Robert Main, how about you do something to get his attention? I'll tell you this much though, if you do manage to grab Roberts attention and get that match, you're going to find yourself in a tougher spot than the one that you were just in with me, but hey, I can understand trying to bring this sad excuse of a career you have to a quick end.
Micheal sarcastically winks and throws an exaggerated thumbs up to the camera.
Go Get'em tiger!
Oh shit! Hater alert! The following 1 user Hates "Dark Warrior" Micheal Graves's post!1 user Hates "Dark Warrior" Micheal Graves's post Peter Fn Gilmour (04-05-2017)