Gamegenie
The 16-bit Wrestler
XWF FanBase: Classic Face (usually cheered; very rarely plays dirty)
(Where is my roster page?)
Joined: Fri Mar 29 2013
Posts: 48
14,516
Likes Given: 12
Likes Received: 24 in 13 posts
Hates Given: 0
Hates Received: 0 in 0 posts
Hates Given: 0
Hates Received: 0 in 0 posts
Reputation:
0
X-Bux: ✘0
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04-28-2013, 08:13 PM
the Chosen one
Here come my newest rp ^^
any negative though our positive is welcome as usual.
Good reading =)
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Steve "KingSlayer" Davids
Steve Davids
XWF FanBase: Teens, some men, few kids (booed by casual fans; hurts people; often angry)
XWF Roster Page
Joined: Wed Mar 13 2013
Posts: 960
228,880
Likes Given: 403
Likes Received: 476 in 281 posts
Hates Given: 14
Hates Received: 17 in 15 posts
Hates Given: 14
Hates Received: 17 in 15 posts
Reputation:
56
X-Bux: ✘0
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05-01-2013, 01:43 AM
Your clearly good with your dialogue but I don't like the fact I cannot picture what any of your characters look like due to lack of description. The humour is good, I assume you are trying to make your character look stupid in a way? Not sure stupid is the right word, childish maybe? Other than that it is good but work on your grammar too. That's all I can say really...
3x Xtreme Champion
1x Briefcase Holder
1x Television Champion
1x Universal Champion
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Gamegenie
The 16-bit Wrestler
XWF FanBase: Classic Face (usually cheered; very rarely plays dirty)
(Where is my roster page?)
Joined: Fri Mar 29 2013
Posts: 48
14,516
Likes Given: 12
Likes Received: 24 in 13 posts
Hates Given: 0
Hates Received: 0 in 0 posts
Hates Given: 0
Hates Received: 0 in 0 posts
Reputation:
0
X-Bux: ✘0
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05-01-2013, 04:35 PM
(05-01-2013, 01:43 AM)SteveDavids Said: Your clearly good with your dialogue but I don't like the fact I cannot picture what any of your characters look like due to lack of description. The humour is good, I assume you are trying to make your character look stupid in a way? Not sure stupid is the right word, childish maybe? Other than that it is good but work on your grammar too. That's all I can say really...
Thanks for your though about my rp,, i'll try my best to improve the grammar for sure.
As for the lack of description, i try my best to find good word to make everyone understand, but it's not easy when you have french like first language and those words doesn't come out quickly so i struggle a l'il bit lol.
And for your question about the direction of my character, yes i make goofy because using humor suit him very well.
XWF love funny gimmick like my character ( i guess) and the Senator ^^.
Maybe i found a way to develop his trash talk.
If any of you have some suggestion to make my character evolve, i'll take it .
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Steve "KingSlayer" Davids
Steve Davids
XWF FanBase: Teens, some men, few kids (booed by casual fans; hurts people; often angry)
XWF Roster Page
Joined: Wed Mar 13 2013
Posts: 960
228,880
Likes Given: 403
Likes Received: 476 in 281 posts
Hates Given: 14
Hates Received: 17 in 15 posts
Hates Given: 14
Hates Received: 17 in 15 posts
Reputation:
56
X-Bux: ✘0
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05-03-2013, 02:56 PM
(05-01-2013, 04:35 PM)Gamegenie Said: (05-01-2013, 01:43 AM)SteveDavids Said: Your clearly good with your dialogue but I don't like the fact I cannot picture what any of your characters look like due to lack of description. The humour is good, I assume you are trying to make your character look stupid in a way? Not sure stupid is the right word, childish maybe? Other than that it is good but work on your grammar too. That's all I can say really...
Thanks for your though about my rp,, i'll try my best to improve the grammar for sure.
As for the lack of description, i try my best to find good word to make everyone understand, but it's not easy when you have french like first language and those words doesn't come out quickly so i struggle a l'il bit lol.
And for your question about the direction of my character, yes i make goofy because using humor suit him very well.
XWF love funny gimmick like my character ( i guess) and the Senator ^^.
Maybe i found a way to develop his trash talk.
If any of you have some suggestion to make my character evolve, i'll take it .
Ah, I apologize. I didn't realize that French was your first language, in that case your grammar is pretty impressive. Your character is certainly unique and I enjoyed reading your RP.
3x Xtreme Champion
1x Briefcase Holder
1x Television Champion
1x Universal Champion
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