Undercard Main Event Swift Ion - vs - Mr. Radio #1 Contender to the Television Championship *Guest Referee- Mr. Supernova*

The camera pans back into the main arena, across the crown in attendance. Many of them wearing their scarlet and grey proudly, after their team beat Buffalo 20 to 40. It wasn't the best game, but they still won nearly three scores. We then turn back to the ring announcer, as he prepares to introduce the upcoming match...

*DING DING DING*

Announcer: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing, serving as the special guest referee for this match, Mr. Supernova!"



Mr. Supernova comes out onto the stage. Although now changed into his ref shirt, he still manages to wear a tie. It's apparent his need to look sharp and classy knows no bounds. He proceeds down to the ring and heads up the steel steps, before entering the ring through the ropes. He walks over to the announcer and stands patiently for the competitors.

Announcer: "Introducing first, his is one half of Renegade X. SWIFT ION!"



Swift Ion proceeds down the ramp, sliding into the ring before posing for the arena attendees. A overly positive reception is accompanying his entrance, as he walks towards Mr. Supernova. He appears to say something, before offering him a handshake. Mr. Supernova gives him and honest smile, while shaking his hand back.

Announcer: "Introducing the challenger, from a spaceship that just landed outside the arena, he is Mr. RADIO!"



The crowd is a little more mixed on Mr. Radio's entrance. Still a positive response from the crowd, some slight boos can be hear within the mix. He also slides into the ring and walks directly towards Supernova. He walks past him and poses for the crowd. He then turns around to find Mr. Supernova. It appears he also says something to him, while also extending his hand. Mr. Supernova reaches into his pocket and pulls out his watch. He proceeds to open it and check the time. He then motions to him he doesn't have time for his formalities, and gestures him to his corner. Mr. Radio clinches his fist before heading towards his corner.

The lights in the arena come back up, allowing the ring to be illuminated to view the match. Ion head towards the opposite corner from Mr. Radio. Mr. Supernova heads towards the middle of the ring, gesturing towards both men, before signaling for the start of the match.

*DING DING DING*

Lightning: "And here we go!"

Ion and Radio begin to circle each other in the ring, before they lock up in the center. Ion gets the first advantage and puts radio into a side headlock. He drops his center of gravity with a stomp to get a tighter grip around Radio's neck. Radio takes his elbow and shoves it into Ion's ribcage, causing a break in the hold. Another hit to the gut causes Ion to lose his entire grip on Radio. Radio then grabs Ion by the forearm, whipping him into the ropes. On the rebound, he hits him with a violent clothesline. Ion jumps back up, only to get hit with another clothesline. Ion once again jumps to his feet, only to be met with a stiff kick to the midsection. As he grabs his stomach, Radio wraps his arm around Ion's neck, hitting him with a DDT. He rolls him over for a quick cover...

1...


KICKOUT!

Radio gets back to his feet, and begins stomping away at a now grounded Ion. After a few stomps, he turns to a mix of expressions from the crowd.

Meyer: "Looks like Radio is taking an early advantage here, Lightning."

Lightning: "Not too different then your game earlier today?"

Meyer: "You could say that, but its still early."

Radio continues to drop his right-booted foot excessively into different parts of Ion's mid-section. He then takes his foot, and grinds it into Ion's chest. Ion lets out a scream from the pain. He grabs onto Radio's boot, trying to alleviate the pain. Radio proceeds to press down harder, causing Supernova to intervene. He comes over and has Radio step back from Ion. Radio begins to argue with Supernova, as he pulls onto his own shirt indicating his authority in the match. Radio then turns back to Ion...

*SMACK*

Lightning: "WOW, what a kick to the jaw!"

Meyer: "Now that was a shot in the mouth!"

Radio drops to the ground, with Ion going for the cover...

1...
2...

KICKOUT!

Supernova jumps up, indicating a count of two. Meanwhile, Ion begins landing sharp hits to the face of Radio.

Meyer: "That seemed kinda fast to me."

Lightning: "I think so too. So much for being impartial."

Ion picks up Radio and sends him into the corner. Radio hits with immense force, as Ion runs the adjacent corner. With a running start, he launches himself into the air landing a dropkick to Radio. Ion rolls to the side, as Radio drops to the mat and rolls onto his back. Ion gets up onto the top turnbuckle, posing for a now slightly mixed crowd. He jumps...

Lightning: "Moonsault landing on Radio! He's going for the cover again!"

1...
2...

KICKOUT!

Meyer: "This doesn't seem fair at all."

Ion gets up and looks at Supernova, to his surprise of not getting a three count. He then turns to a laid out Radio as he begins to stir and trying to pull himself up. Using the rope for assistance, he makes it back up. Ion is waiting for him and lands a loud chop across the chest of Radio. He hits him with another chop, causing him to stagger back into the corner. Ion walks over and continues to deliver chops to Radio...

*SMACK*

*SMACK*

*SMACK*

*SMACK*

Supernova walks over and creates separation between Ion and Radio. After a few moments, Ion proceeds back towards Radio. He is then met with a elbow to the face. Ion stumbles backwards and runs back at Radio but gets side-stepped and hits the corner turnbuckle hard. As he turns around holding his chest, Radio flings his arms behind the ropes and hits his own series of chops

*SMACK*

*SMACK*

*SMACK*

*SMACK*

Meyer: "Taste of his own medicine!"

Radio the sends Ion into the opposite corner, and follows suit with a clothesline attempt. Radio then gets hit with a boot to the face. As he turns his back towards the corner, Ion climbs to the top turnbuckle and wait for him to turn back around. As Radio turns, Ion jumps of to a cross-body on Radio.

*SLAM*

Lightning- Reversed into a belly-to-belly suplex!

Radio goes for the cover...

1...






2...







KICKOUT!

Radio jumps up showing frustration with Supernova, as he gets back into his face. Once again, Supernova grabs his shirt and motions him to back off. Suddenly, Ion gets Radio into a roll-up...

1..

2...

KICKOUT!

Radio rolls out of the ring to gain a little composure. Ion goes right after him, turns him and delivers a strong right hand. Radio stagger a little, but delivers his own right hand. They continue to trade blows, while Supernova begins the count.

*1.....2.......3......4*

Radio begins to gain the upper hand, and sends Ion into the steel steps with an irish whip. Ion bounces off the stairs with enough force to knock off the top half, exposing the bottom half. Radio looks towards the ring with the intention of getting back in. Yet, he thinks better of himslef and walks back over to Ion.

*5.................6*

Radio gets towards Ion who has moves slightly away from the steps. Radio bends over and begins to pick up Ion to put him back into the ring. As he gets Ion to his feet, Radio notices him coming to. Ion breaks free of Radio, grabs him and suplexes Radio onto the exposed stairs.

Meyer: "OUCH!"

Lightning: "It's not looking good for Radio now."

Ion then slides into the ring quickly as Supernova continues the count...

*7...8...9........................................................................*

Supernova suddenly stops counting Radio out, and proceeds to cross his arms. He then leans up against the ropes and pulls out his pocket watch. Ion looks at Supernova with an enraged look on his face. He walks over yelling onto Supernova's face, while pointing towards Radio who is beginning to get back to his feet. While still holding his watch, he looks up at Ion and pulls on his shirt. Ion starts stomping, smacking his hands calling for him to count to ten. Radio proceeds back into the ring, with Ion still focused on Supernova. Ion get within inches of Supernova's face, when he closes his pocket watch. He puts it back into his pocket, and points behind Ion. Ion spins around to find Radio in the ring. Radio picks him up...

Meyer: "AROUND THE GALAXY!"

Radio goes for the cover.....

1...










2...











KICKOUT!

Ion somehow kicks out of Radio's finishing move. Ion rolls onto his stomach, while Radio jumps up. Radio is digging down deep to get some energy to try and finish off Ion. He then decides to pick up Ion and throw him outside the ring. Radio quickly follow and proceeds to stand over Ion. Supernova begins the count to ten once again...

*1...2...3...*

Radio walks towards the announcer's table, removing the topper and monitors inside.

Lightning: "Don't do that! We still have another match to commentate!"

Meyer- I don't think he's worried about the other match!

Radio then turns back to Ion who is now back to his feet. Ion hits Radio with a stiff right hand. Radio rolls onto the table as Ion proceed up as well...

*4....5........6*

Ion brings Radio to his feet, while placing his head between his legs. It appears he is going to attempt a bulldog through the table.

Meyer: "NO DON'T DO THIS!"

Ion raises Radio up, but he keeps himself from getting lifted. Ion tries again, but is stopped once again. Radio manages to free himself from between Ion's legs, hitting a hard right.

*7...................8.........................*

Radio hits another right, almost causing Ion to fall off the table. Radio reaches back to hit another right, and Ion ducks. As Radio comes forward, Ion wraps his arms around Radio's neck...

Lightning: "DDT!!"

Ion quickly rolls away from the wrecked table and slides back into the ring....

*9.............................................................................................................*

Supernova once again stops counting at nine, and leans up against the ropes, pulling out his pocket watch. He begins to look at the time, and looks back up at Ion. Ion, now beyond himself, smacks the pocket watch out of Supernova's hand. It sails into the crowd of now booing fans. Supernova then prepares to hit Ion, but slides out of the ring instead. He walks over to the announcer, and grabs the microphone



Supernova- Your winner, as a result of disqualification, and new number one contender for MY XWF Television Championship, Mister Radio!



Mr. Radio is still down and out and Swift Ion is throwing a fit in the ring! He's yelling and screaming at Mr. Supernova until... CRRRACK! Supernova takes the chain of his pocket watch and whips the watch right around into Swift's face! The watch is undamaged but Swift gets a big gash on his face where he was struck.

It looks like Mr. Supernova is getting ready for something here... both men at a stand off. Suddenly from behind Swift Ion comes Mr. Radio with a reverse DDT! Radio and Supernova stand over Swift's body... What are they planning on doing here???

???: Stop right there!

Whose voice is that?

It's..

It's...

IT'S OUR KING! It's KING MADISON!!!

He is being brought down the ramp by several black servants wearing nothing but loin cloths and holding tampons in their teeth.

King Madison: Alright, lower my throne, Blacks!

They lower him and allow him to stand and walk the rest of the way to the ring so he can enter it. He comes face to face with Supernova and Radio.

King Madison: Do you really think your king is going to stand by idly as you commit these heinous acts?

Madison reaches down to help Swift to his feet. He has some encouraging words for him...

King Madison: There ya go, Swift! Straighten those shoulders and keep that head held high.

Madison eyeballs Swift as Swift sways back and forth, almost tipping over.

King Madison: You know something? I never realized what a good head you have on your shoulders. It'd be a shame if you ever lost it.

...


...


That's when things get awkward. The crowd silences and a low murmur begins amongst the fans in attendance. Everyone here knows it's not a good thing if Madison takes special interest in your head. Turning to his black slaves, Madison orders...

King Madison: BRING ME THE GUILLOTINE!

A huge, mixed roar erupts from the fans as Mr. Radio and Mr. Supernova look up the ramp to see Madison's tampon chewing slaves return from the back with a massive guillotine! The blade is about 10 times higher than a normal guillotine. Also, there appears to be a mirror on the bottom, facing up?

King Madison: As you can see I had this one modified so those last couple seconds of your life seem to take hours, Swift. Not only will the blade fall for what feels like an eternity, but you'll also see through that grounded mirror exactly when the blade is released and you'll get to see it travel down. Consider this my special gift to you-- nobody ELSE who I've ever decapitated had these extra privileges, Swift.

Swift Ion: This is ridiculous, Randy Orton! I'm getting out of here!

King Madison: What the fuck did you just call me? I think you forgot to swap out names that don't matter in XWF for names that DO matter. Here... try again.

Madison stands back and lets Swift take another crack at it.

Swift Ion: Um, OK in that case, screw you John Madison! I don't need to stand by and take this!

Just then, Madison snaps his fingers and all of his black slaves in loin cloths storm the ring and start beating down Swift Ion!

King Madison: Take that, Daniel Bryan! Err, I mean Swift Ion.

Radio and Supernova seem confused, but what really matters here is that Swift is getting a beat down so they do what anybody would do... THEY ATTACK TOO! Radio and Supernova join the slaves in beating down Swift as King Madison looks on very pleased.

???: Hey! HEY! Madison!

Who is that? Somebody rushes out from the back with a microphone!

It's PAUL HEYMAN! What does Monday Madness' GM want with this situation?

Heyman: Madison, if you think I'm going to stand in the back and let you decapitate one of my own Madness roster members, you've got another thing coming.

Heyman does that angry wobble-walk straight to the ring and rolls in under the bottom rope, almost getting stuck on his way through but Madison is kind enough to pull up that bottom rope a little so Heyman can finish rolling in.

Madison: My my, Heyman, I'm sorry to offend... did you want to release the blade on poor Swift yourself? I didn't mean to step on your toes.

Heyman and Madison come eye to eye. Heyman doesn't look one bit amused by Madison's sarcastic comments.

There is a long pause...

Heyman gets ready to let Madison have it! He's going to save Swift Ion!

...

...

Heyman: You know what, King? I'd be HONORED to be the one to chop that cheating ingrate's head off! THANK YOU!

The fans gasp! Whaaaaat?!?!?! Heyman and Madison are SHAKING HANDS!!! They've come together for a common goal, but why? WHY? What has Swift Ion done for a second time? Heyman seems to be implying that Ion somehow has cheated... could it be? Could he be on them roids again? His neck did look like it was getting too thick lately...

Heyman: Beat that man down and then get that thick neck of his into the guillotine!

Heyman doesn't even waste time. He's literally yelling orders RIGHT AT Madison's slaves! Madison seems impressed and winks at his slaves to let them know it's alright to obey the fat, screaming, Jewish man.

Everybody decides to just kick and stomp Swift a little while longer and they even invite some of the fans to do so.

...a LONG while passes... more and more random people just help themselves into the ring to lay into this poor boy. Madison, Heyman and the others literally wait and let just about every fan in the building take a few shots at Swift's limp body before they lock him in the guillotine. Some of the fans inject Swift with needles or stab him with knives... whatever they feel like doing!

Once Swift is locked in the guillotine and all the fans have returned to their seats...

OH NO! IT CAN'T BE!

Dwayne "The Schlong" Johnson, The Crimson Dong, and Mr. XWF all rush down the aisle with HUGE erections! The horny trio all slide into the ring and then all take turns sliding into Swift Ion! Crimson Dong and Mr. XWF both double penetrate Swift's mouth while The Schlong takes up the rear and plows like crazy. They start rotating positions like they're playing some kind of musical chairs.

Madison, Heyman, Radio, Supernova, and all the black slaves in loin cloths just stare at each other and let the horny men do their dirty deed. Madison checks his crown to make sure it isn't smudged at all... Heyman checks his cell phone for some new texts... anything to pass the time while the raping is commencing.

Finally, after about an hour, all three of them have blown their loads multiple times and are finally satisfied.

King Madison: Alright! Now that we're all here and all of the preparations are complete, it's time to do the deed. Is there anyone among us who objects to dat Ion boy losing his head here tonight?

Everybody looks around but nobody objects. It looks like Crimson Dong, Mr. XWF and The Schlong are getting erections again though, so Madison speeds things up.

King Madison: Alright I can see we better hurry.

Heyman pours some coffee onto Swift's head to wake him back up while he's locked into the guillotine. Swift's head is firmly in place as he stares down at the mirror below him. He is able to see the LONG stretch all the way up to where that blade awaits.

Heyman: Swift Ion, as the official General Manager of the show you are a member of, I hereby RELEASE you from your contract.

Madison and Heyman BOTH put their hands on the release, and together for the common goal they PULL!

Swift sees in the reflection from that grounded mirror that the blade has begun its journey toward his neck.

Everyone looks on intently as the blade falls...

and falls...

and falls...

and falls...

and falls...

and falls...



and falls...




and falls...





and falls...






and falls...








Radio's eyes widen... Madison licks his lips... Heyman lets out a cackle... Supernova whips the back of Swift's head with that pocket watch...

Swift Ion: Ouch!

SLICE! Thud... his head bounces and rolls right over to Heyman's foot! Heyman stomps his foot down onto Ion's head and it's so bloody it shoots out from under his foot and smacks Radio in the thigh! Radio decides to stomp on the head but again, it's so slippery that now it slips over toward John Madison who runs up and kicks it! The head goes flying far into the crowd!

Mr. XWF, Dwayne, and Crimson Dong have started raping the decapitated body while Madison looks on laughing and encouraging them to go harder. What a horrible end to Swift Ion's journey! It would seem that whatever Swift tried doing to tip the scales in his favor has come back to bite him in the ass, or more specifically fuck him in the ass.