No sooner does Scoops finish off Charlie does he wheel about to see Madison Dyson! Scoops jerks back a hand to strike Madison, but Madison takes a step back into a defensive posture and calls out for him to STOP!

STOP! Hold up, Scoops! Hear me out! I'm actualy here to help you! 

Scoops does stop with some bemusement and seems to pause a bit to listen to what Madison has to say. 

Okay. So let's look at your situation here logically. I realize you may be a couple thousand chair shots to the skull past logic, but just try for Maddy, eh?

So, here's your sitch. You have to defend your XTreme championship in every single match that you're in, correct? And are you also not in the Ides of March tournmament, a tournament with multiple rounds and only one eventual winner? And is it not also true that your first round match is against none other than last year's tournament winner, Kieran King?

Are you pickin' up what I'm puttin' down, Scoops? 

Look crusty, your chance of coming out of that tournament with your XTreme championship around your waist is, let's face it, nada. 

But it doesn't have to be that way! Because here's the deal I'm offering! You can let me win the Xtreme championship from you right now, and I can be like...like....well, like a safety deposit box for your title! Yeah! I can hold the title for you throughout the tournament, and when you eventually lose, and you WILL lose, you can face me for the title back?

I mean, it's better odds for you than trying to grind through an entire tournament with the championship, right? Just facing one little ol' Maddy instead an entire murderer's row of tournament competitors? 

Think it over, Scoops. For like, ya know, the next three seconds. 

Madison winces, because she really doesn't want to touch Scoops, but eventually sucks it up and plants a finger on his chest. A referee sidles up, because unlike Charlie Madison is smart enough to bring a ref, and starts making the count on what is apparently being considered a pin.

1....


2.......

There truly was no rest for the wicked. There Scoops was, trying his best to just get some lunch, but already the neverending flow of Xtreme challengers was beginning to funnel in. His stomach growled in recognition - there were about a million better things that he could be doing with his time, but instead he had to sit through this.

“You did sign up for this,” Noah the cameraman whispered in Scoops' ear.

“That don't mean I gotta like every little part of this,” Scoops groaned. Still, he stood and listened to Maddy making her points, and before he could even respond, Maddy... put a finger to his chest? And NOW a referee decided to show themselves?

“How the fuck is this being counted as a pin?” Scoops rolled his eyes as he grabbed Maddy by the wrist and forcefully brought her hand away from his chest, thus serving as a KICKOUT! “Listen here, little lady. Yer' damn right that ole' Scoops is facin' down the barrel out there. But you know somethin'...”

Scoops wraps an arm around Maddy, ignoring her clearly present discomfort as he guides her down the corridor. “I've faced plenty of impossible challenges before. Sometimes I lost, yeah, but sometimes I won too. This is about bein' able to stand up to the challenge. To whatever the Hell decides to pop its head outta the blue. If I had the chance to fight for all the stakes and I willingly threw up my hands and surrendered ahead of time and practically admitted defeat, then what the fuck kinda champ does that make me? Fuck that. Fuck all of that.”

Scoops shares a look quickly with Noah, who silently nods. Maddy, without realizing the look, is brought to stop in the middle of the hall as Scoops brings both of his wrinkly old hands onto her shoulders. “I don't need to make a goddamn deal with a snake to do what's right for me. If I lose, so be it. But you and all the other little bastards better know that I'm fightin' no matter what. And if I go down, then you bet your ass I'm goin' down swingin'. Until then...”

Scoops pushes Madison backwards into the open janitor's closet that Noah opened while he was talking! Maddy tries to rush out, but Noah shuts the door! She tries to struggle out, but Scoops notices a nearby vending machine! He shoves it forward as Noah scrambles out of the way, and with a loud BANG, Maddy is trapped inside!

...Suddenly, Scoops is reminded of his stomach growling. Muttering to himself, he drags a wrinkled single dollar bill out of his wallet and into the vending machine. Unfortunately for him, as he furiously pounds away on the buttons, his food refuses to come down properly.

You know. Because it's on its side now.

“Nothin' can go right in this Goddamn place,” Scoops sighed with one final kick to the vending machine as he walks off, leaving Maddy locked away.

So, just for the record... this is pretty much what we're looking for with the experimental rule change. An actual legitimate post rather than a one or two line pin attempt.

There are some slight differences though where something like this is the expectation and rather than going solely by an arbitrary time limit, the result is judged by staff primarily based off of "Entertainment Value."

Did you just comment to say you hate my pins? 😂😂

It’s not my fault the metaphors are too deep for you guys!!

No.

I do.

But no.