We open on Madison Dyson, sitting in a high backed leather chair inside an ornate study like she's hosting Masterpiece Theater or some shit. She takes a deep drag on a Cuban cigar and lets the smoke out in a series of rings before addressing the camera.

Oh, hello! And welcome to another episode of Madison Dyson Presents: HOT TOPICS! You pussies didn't respond to my last one because it was too controversial, so I guess I'll have to let my foot off the gas and slow things down for you spineless suck magnets.

She places the cigar in the ash tray beside her.

The XWF is, above all, about competition. Skill. Finesse! It is the purest exhibition of athletic prowess in the known world. The Olympics can go blow. The Special Olympics can get fucked. And the NFL can go stroke out to it's stupid concussion protocol. So it's only fitting that, for this installment, we discuss this strange and wonderful company that pays us so handsomely in money and/or hardcore narcotics. More specifically, we will discuss who the best and brightest are on today's current roster with an exacting and scholarly debate on who is, technically speaking, the best XWF athlete today!

Madison sits quietly for a moment, before busting into an obnoxious cackle. Just kidding! We're gonna talk about who's HOT! Yeah, that's right! Who on the roster do you most want to raw dog until your uglies get chapped?! Once again, I'll kick things off!



JAMES RAVEN! Hoooooo my God, the things I'd do. James, you got an itch your current missus won't let you scratch? Give Maddy a jingle jangle. Honey, I won't say no to ANYTHING.

SERIOUSLY.


Mmmmmm....

Maddy day dreams for a bit before snapping to it.

Alright you fluffers, sound off on your coworker's fuckability. I'll make sure HR is good and distracted. Now if you'll excuse me I need to...attend....to....something....

There's a chick I've had my eye on around here for a while now but I've kept it to myself because I know I'm such a hot item and I don't want all my other lustlizards and scatpigs getting jealous...



Seriously though... check her out!



Just look at those bedroom eyes...



Look at that sexy, soccer mom haircut...




Look at that beautiful, beautiful mouth...




Oh god, it's like she's waiting for me, all hot and steamy just begging to swallow my love...

The things I would do to Nedia would make a grown horse scream.

Looks like Shock-value Word-salad was taught some class by yours truly. Seems like, I'll humor your pathetic attempt of the spotlight. I have to choose you Shock-value. I mean, with Ol' Thunder Knuckles dick in your mouth you'd at least shut up for 20 minutes.

(10-01-2019, 06:10 PM)Thunder Knuckles Said: Looks like Shock-value Word-salad was taught some class by yours truly. Seems like, I'll humor your pathetic attempt of the spotlight. I have to choose you Shock-value. I mean, with Ol' Thunder Knuckles dick in your mouth you'd at least shut up for 20 minutes.

Boy, I get to bust this chestnut out again, eh?

SWIPE LEFT

Man, Wendy Williams should sue the shit out of you Dykeson, you fronting on your so called diatribe of "hot topics" when its just a really degrading platform to spew your lust over James Raven.

I mean i cant blame you Dykeson, but might as well dm to let him hit your snatch that even "Solider" managed to get taste of.

Also Shane, Nedia is already taken, isn't Hooded Man on the market after Relentless?

HI TOMMY! VV says with a wave and a smile, ignoring the fact that the two of them have a storied rivalry.

(10-01-2019, 07:43 PM)VV Said: HI TOMMY! VV says with a wave and a smile, ignoring the fact that the two of them have a storied rivalry.

Sup Vita...

She smiles innocently before replying. Oh not much, we should get together sometime soon!

(10-01-2019, 08:12 PM)VV Said: She smiles innocently before replying. Oh not much, we should get together sometime soon!

I'm down for whatever, i know you busy with Sarah and running Anarchy and shit so... when ever you have free time, you can find me around hurr.

By the way Shock-value, you dropped this.

Thunder Knuckles tosses Shock-value Word-salad an xbuc like you would a dirty stripper in Las Vegas.

Seeing as in one month, I've gotten more xbux than you have mostly all year. I still haven't even gotten my paycheck, but you need it more than I do, I suppose. See ya soon!

Thunder Knuckles smirks and walks out, with both of his hand raised high in the air, giving two very firm middle fingers. He doesn't hear whatever Shock-value Word-salad says next, nor does he care.

Who are some of your XWF crushes, everyone? Let's keep this discussion on track!

Nedia... I've got my eye on you, girl.

"I want to make babies with Isabella Ravenwolf... and then sacrifice said babies to SATAN! and to help stop climate change!"

(10-08-2019, 02:51 AM)Unknown Soldier Said: "I want to make babies with Isabella Ravenwolf... and then sacrifice said babies to SATAN! and to help stop climate change!"

Huh. Kinda shocked you would WANT to stop climate change what with all the chaos and suffering it causes. Besides Ravenwolf would probably fuck that up too, somehow.

Also Shane, I've got it on good authority that Nedia has a cat and is single. Looking kinda..,

GAY

to me!

i would like to have a 4 some with Roxy Cotton and madison Dyson and my wife..

might not happen but just a thought..

SUCK... MY... DICK!

3X Star of the Month
Former 3x Hart Champion
Former 13X Xtreme Champion
Former 6X Tag Champion
Former 2X Trios Champion
Former 2x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
Former Universal Champion

Sounds badass bro can I join and we make it a 6sum? I count as 2 cuz I'm swole as fuuuuuck, bruh. Lemme get it!

no steroid users allowed

SUCK... MY... DICK!

3X Star of the Month
Former 3x Hart Champion
Former 13X Xtreme Champion
Former 6X Tag Champion
Former 2X Trios Champion
Former 2x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
Former Universal Champion

Uh ok? Good thing I'm all natural idiot!

(10-08-2019, 05:20 PM)Peter Fn Gilmour Said: i would like to have a 4 some with Roxy Cotton and madison Dyson and my wife..

might not happen but just a thought..

Okay, but the soundtrack to Triumph of the Will has to be playing the ENTIRE time.

Sex a coworker?

We see Robbie sitting on a toilet holding a burrito.

I don't shit where I eat.

"Joachim Bright."


"Oh wait. I already did that."


"Rebel Star."


"And she's my live in lady, so you know I'm tapping that fine ass."


"Guess my list is already complete."


Smiles and walks off whistling a happy tune.

2x Universal Champion (First reign was less than a day though, lol. Due to Sebastian Duke cashing in his briefcase.)
2x Tag Team Champion
3x Triple Tag Team Champion
1x Television Champion
2x US Champion (Title retired during my second reign as champ.)
2x X-Treme Champion
1x Bombshell Champion
2x HMW Champion
2x SOTM

"I'd dip my berries in melted chocolate then drop them in your mouth Madison Dyson!"

BWP explains while stirring a metal bowl of melted chocolate right next to Martha Stewart on one of her shows explaining how to make homemade chocolate dipped strawberries.

(10-11-2019, 01:16 AM)Bearded War Pig Said: "I'd dip my berries in melted chocolate then drop them in your mouth Madison Dyson!"

BWP explains while stirring a metal bowl of melted chocolate right next to Martha Stewart on one of her shows explaining how to make homemade chocolate dipped strawberries.

If it'll motivate you to turn Lux's skull inside out you can eat banana pudding off my till the cows come home.

"Fuckin Eh right! I love some banana pudding. Can we use my deceased great grand mothers recipe?!"

(10-14-2019, 05:18 PM)Bearded War Pig Said: "Fuckin Eh right! I love some banana pudding. Can we use my deceased great grand mothers recipe?!"

You can BRING your deceased great grandmother for all I care. I'll tug your beard while you choke me and rail me to the rhythmic thump of mortar fire. Just get the job done against Lux!