This isn't something I normally do, but I wanted to open up about some of my motivations for my most recent promo "God's Gonna Cut You Down."And before you get worried, despite the content being pretty hard hitting, this isn't another "DA TRUF" thread.

As those of you who follow my writing, all three of you, know, I have been exploring the pending demise of my previous character The Engineer for months. Part of the reason I decided to get into the angle of The Engineer getting cancer and slowly fading away was because it was helping me deal with some real life fears about my own father's cancer, and coming to terms with his eventual demise. It has helped....a little, in it's own unique way.

But then, life decided to throw a curveball, as it does, and I recently ended up experiencing the death of a different family member quite unexpectedly. Those who know me know that I don't deal with death well at all, and it struck me just how random this was. And how death is rarely this practiced, deliberate thing but often an act of unpredicted chaos, and how much of life is like that. How fast life can come at you.

So, both for reasons of dramatic purpose and to give a random, jarring, and more realistic take on the demise of a loved one, I decided to have Engy pass away in God's Gonna Cut You Down, almost as an aside. Little fanfare, little drama....just bam....gone. Because that's how it usually goes. I did allow him some last words, but it still feels like not enough of a send off. And quite frankly, I thought that was appropriately real. Because we never get enough time. And the people we love never (or rarely) get the sendoff we'd chose for them. It's out of our hands. Chaos.

I might still explore his demise more in the future, but for now, this paltry and appropriately real take is about it. It's never enough. It never is.

Thanks for reading this. Now I return you to your usual debauchery. Oh, and if anyone else wants to piggy back off of this and talk about how they use real life experiences as inspiration, feel free. Sometimes that's both cathartic and, from a practical standpoint, useful for developing one's writing.

Yeah having brought myself up to speed with recent XWF history, I was like 'damn, Engy's gone just like that huh?' Pretty inpactful.

Strangely SJ *started* as a coping mechanism for me (mainly loneliness and the confusion that comes with being a fairly introverted young man) but as time went by he actually got further and further away from me experience-wise. Perhaps it morphed more into... escapism?

Sympathies on your family losses. I admit my old man's pretty much my best friend especially as an adult, and I have no idea I'm gonna do when his time's up.

But yeah. Hell of an RP.

(08-29-2019, 06:12 PM)Steve Jason Said: Yeah having brought myself up to speed with recent XWF history, I was like 'damn, Engy's gone just like that huh?' Pretty inpactful.

Strangely SJ *started* as a coping mechanism for me (mainly loneliness and the confusion that comes with being a fairly introverted young man) but as time went by he actually got further and further away from me experience-wise. Perhaps it morphed more into... escapism?

Sympathies on your family losses. I admit my old man's pretty much my best friend especially as an adult, and I have no idea I'm gonna do when his time's up.

But yeah. Hell of an RP.

I think a lot of people do that though. In some respects their character is an idealized version of their best self. Oddly, I only started playing things that way towards the end of my efedding career. I've usually played objectively awful people that I wouldn't want to be (but maybe was....a little bit). Lux comes closest to being the kind of person I wish I was, but typically fall short of being.

Although I'm reasonably sure I don't want to be a lady. lol

Thank you!

Hope you and your family are doing okay, Lux. An old school friend of mine passed suddenly recently, so I sympathise how much of a shock it can be.

I'm sure some people are aware that Gator and Noah have some daddy issues lol which stem from a bad bond between me and my dad. With Gator I aired frustrations along with depression and drug use later on in his career. Which thinking about it I'm not sure why since he was a goofy Deadpool ripoff, but hey, it helped me cope. But with Noah it's mostly making light of the bad blood between me and my dad. Which helps a lot.

So yeah, even when shit sucks at least we can air it on an efed through roleplay like mentally stable human beings

And to echo Steve Jason, fantastic RP mate.

Holder of the most wins in the XWF (Mostly house shows)

Holder of the most draws in XWF (All on Anarchy)

Winner of Sickest Cunt of the Year 2020

Winner of Greatest Wrestler who ever lived 2022

Holder of the world's rarest pog collection (Valued at $200)

Owner of Ned Kaye's cat that Ned named Deepthroat for some weird reason

Voted most feared man by Centurion (Twice!)

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Every single day we have is a blessing, and unfortunately the occasional reminders of such are more difficult than we could have ever imagined beforehand. I don't think I'd have it in me to be able to transfer those personal feelings into an RP... I'd probably never make it through writing it to the end because I'd keep breaking down, but I can certainly appreciate and respect your ability to do so. It's the same as a singer/song writer who does it through their music. Using your talents to pay tribute to someone on such a level is considered by many to be the highest honor and I'm glad the XWF can be your platform to do so.

When I was RPing more often back in the day, most of my inspirations would come from my favorite music at the time or from characters in movies/shows I enjoyed. I think there may have been a time or two way back that I used real life crushes/romances/breakups/etc... as inspiration for RPing, but that's the closest I've ever come to real life situations influencing me.

I'm not really gonna go into details or anything, but in my own writing Thad's grandfather was a spin on my own grandfather. Seb Duke was sort of a cross between myself and my father and Thad? He's very closely related to me, except he's way hotter and way richer.

Writing for me, was always therapeutic.

Again, I'm sorry for your loss man. Much love to you and yours.

ive written a few real life rps that I went through but put it in the eyes of how gilly would feel about it..

sorry for your losses dude

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