SUNDAY JANUARY 31ST LIVE FROM LAMBEAU FIELD IN GREEN BAY, WISCONSIN
Match #1
Finn Kuhn
Griffin MacAlister
Jim Jimson
Morbid Angel
Ash Quinn
Mandi Rider
- vs -
Claude Savage
Savannah Knightley
Azrael Erebus
Osira Themis
Broken Oswald Autem
Tommy Gunn
As the show begins, a crowd of folks are seen in one of the parking lots outside Lambeau Field. This crowd is all yelling and chanting, and they are holding Confederate Flags and signs with the letter Q on them, among other things. They are all standing in front of a makeshift stage with a podium on it.
HHL: Oh, goodness.
PC: This crowd has been standing outside since early this morning. They’ve been a real pain in the ass for folks trying to get in to watch the show.
After a few seconds, a limo is seen pulling up to the crowd. The crowd parts, and the limo parks itself right next to the stage. The driver of the limo gets out and opens the back door. As soon as he does, former Congressman Ric Keller steps out from the back, with his arms raised to the crowd. He steps to the side, and Holy Roman War Horse steps out behind him. The crowd outside all goes crazy as War Horse, wearing his rubber horse mask and decked out in a “Fuck Your Feelings” t-shirt, climbs to the top of the limo and extends his arms out to the crowd. The fans inside the stadium, however, give a hearty boo at this arrival.
Match #1
Finn Kuhn
Griffin MacAlister
Jim Jimson
Morbid Angel
Ash Quinn
Mandi Rider
- vs -
Claude Savage
Savannah Knightley
Azrael Erebus
Osira Themis
Broken Oswald Autem
Tommy Gunn
6 on 6 Blitz Football Massacre
Savage RP Rules
Fans in Lambeau Field start applauding as the Snow Job theme music and accompanying pyro slash laser light show finishes up.
Then, they are treated to a marching band performance from the University of Wisconsin Badgers!
Even the badger himself gets in on it!
Oh man, he is so cool!
The band leaves after its awesome performance and then GREEN BAY PACKERS QUARTERBACK AARON RODGERS takes the field! The cheeseheads go BONKERS as he waves to them all and does his world famous “discount double check” for them all. One fan in particular boos and hisses and screams something about corrupt referees in a thick Belgian accent.
Man. Good thing he’s got so much time on his hands now that his team got booted from the playoffs! We might have had to reschedule Snow Job if they’d won!
Rodgers takes a mic!
AARON RODGERS: “Welcome to Snow Job, everyone! Vinnie Lane made the LAMBEAU LEAP to ask me to guest introduce this opening match… a sis on six BLITZ football match! Let’s introduce the first team!”
Dry ice spews all over the visitors’ tunnel as some cheerleaders hold out a banner that says TEAM ONE.
AARON RODGERS: “First, from… ewwww… Chicago Illinois.. Ash Quinn!”
Then, Ash Quinn busts through the banner! She runs toward the middle of the field wearing shoulder pads and a helmet, waving to the fans of Lambeau, who boo the girl from their rivals’ home town.
AARON RODGERS: “And from Taradale, Victoria, Australia… hey I think I had a punter from there once… he is the former President of Nigeria... Jiiiiiiiim JIMson!”
Next, Jim Jimson saunters out wearing LOTS of pads. He’d probably have a second helmet on if he could. Obviously his primary concern is safety. He joins Ash at the Green Bay logo on the 50 yard line.
AARON RODGERS: “And now, from Frankfurt Germany by way of New York City… The KAISER, Finn Kuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhn!”
Finn Kuhn is next, dressed in soccer cleats and a horizontal striped uni shirt. No pads. I think he’s got the wrong kind of football in mind. That could come back to bite him.
AARON RODGERS: “Introducing next, a former champion in XWF… and ALSO from freakin’ CHICAGO… Griffin… The Mechanic… MacAlister!”
Next, Griffin MacAlister arrives wearing a Chicago Bears jersey and gets booed heavily. The mechanic jogs out to mid-field with two middle fingers held high, then points both of them right at Rodgers when he gets there.
AARON RODGERS: “From Jacksonville, Florida, one of the hottest stars in XWF history… eat your hearts out, everyone, because it’s MANDIIIIII RIIIIIIIIIIIDER!”
Mandii Rider emerges from the tunnel to a HUGE pop, and her Lingerie Football League outfit only intensifies things. Sure, it’s like ten degrees. So what? Mandii keeps things HOT in Wisconsin! We see her slip her number to Aaron Rodgers when she arrives at the fifty. She’s
way hotter than Danica Patrick anyway.
A few quiet moments then pass, before…
MORBID ANGEL ARRIVES! Morbid rushes onto the field wearing what could only be described as a football uniform if it were designed by Todd McFarlane for Gene Simmons to wear. The number of spikes alone would make the Legion of Doom jealous.
AARON RODGERS: “The former Universal Champion, former… dick collector? Really? Reminds me of Olivia Munn! Anyway… he’s here in XWF again after finding Jesus! From St. Petersburg, Russia… HE IS… MOOOOOOOOOOOOOBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!”
Morbid rushes the field screaming, and the crowd goes crazy for him, even in his brand new tee shirt with a crucifix on it that says “All Things Are Possible Through Him.” He grabs Rodgers and carries him in a circle around the field, leaving only one set of footprints in the sand.
AARON RODGERS: “That’s it for the first team… now let’s introduce you to… TEAM! NUMBER! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
The home team’s tunnel is now show with lasers and dry ice as a new banner is pulled across by different cheerleaders.
AARON RODGERS: “First, from Toronto, Canada… the little blue jay herself… Savannah Knightley!”
Savannah busts through the banner with her own set of pom poms, then starts dancing suggestively with the cheerleaders. She high kicks and, well, we aren’t sure if she’s got anything on underneath that cheerleader skirt, so let’s just pull the camera away.
Knightley eventually gets to the middle of the field.
AARON RODGERS: “From Ocean City, Maryland… making his XWF pay per view debut… he is the MURDER HORSE! Clauuuuuuuuuuuuude Saaaaaaaaaavaaaaaaaaaaage! Is that ABBA? Really?”
Claude Savage rushes out swinging a big chain over his head and wrapped from head to toe in barbed wire. He dances to ABBA for a minute with surprisingly good moves, then heads to the fifty yard line and gets RIGHT in Morbid Angel’s face.
AARON RODGERS: “And from Athens, Greece…”
The crowd goes wild in anticipation.
AARON RODGERS: “She is the Lady of Discord… OSIRA THEEEEEEEEMIS - WHOA!”
Osira steps out from the tunnel completely nude. Like, TOTALLY naked. A crewperson grabs her immediately and drags her back into the tunnel and she walks out again a few seconds later in some old sweat pants and an oversized Disney tee shirt, looking annoyed.
Osira swings her hips and catwalks to the middle of the field, giving Rodgers a smile… and Mandii Rider a sneer.
AARON RODGERS: “Next up… a multiple time Universal Champion… an absolute legend in the XWF… from Moonspire, Ozuul, which sounds like it’s in Europe somewhere… he is Mister Satellite… Mister Supernova… the Scourge of Darkness… AZRAEL EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEREBUS!”
Azrael walks out like a normal person, disappointing everyone.
AARON RODGERS: “Cool. And next...:”
AARON RODGERS: “From PARTS UNKNOWN originally, but most recently from the security offices in XWF HQ… the head of the Pink Circle elite security team… he is retired from the ring and loving it… he is TOMMY F’N GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNN!”
Tommy comes out making money fingers like Johnny Manziel just to be a prick but also because seriously he wants to hurry up and get paid. He’s got an old school leather helmet on because he isn’t some bitch and doesn’t care about concussion protocol.
AARON RODGERS: “And finally… representing the Brotherhood of Baddies…”
AARON RODGERS: “With a net worth of over ten digits… his is the big money behind B.O.B… from… wait, seriously, this asshole is from Chicago too? Whatever. HE IS BIG MONEY OSWAAAAAAALD!”
Oswald tears down the remaining banner and throws a cheerleader into the stands. He then charges at Rodgers like a freight train and crams a gem mint ten signed Topps Chrome Brian Urlacher 2000 rookie card down his throat! SEXTUPLE GERMAN SUPLEXES ON AARON RODGERS!!!! Rodgers is out, just like he’s out of the postseason!
Both teams stand in a line facing each other at the fifty, as head referee Chaz Bobo meets in between with a golden coin with “Loverboy” Vinnie Lane’s face on it. On the other side is an artistic rendering of three years’ worth of garbage. The coveted Ghost Tank Bedroom Filth Memorial Collector’s Coin!
Bobo shows the coin to both teams as the other officials head to the sidelines to take their positions, including brand new XWF hires HoloRef Dot Gif and Mister Referee the puppet.
Bobo shows both teams the coin’s flipside and they all laugh at Ghost Tank. Then he tosses the coin and they all shout heads or tails, with Morbid screaming TAILS extremely loud until everyone is terrified and shuts up.
It’s heads, which Morbid then shouts extremely loudly is what he meant to say. Everyone nods and agrees and then Chaz Bobo hands Morbid a hot pink football with an XWF logo on it.
We go to the booth where Pip Collins and Heather Lasciewitz sit, along with a cell phone on a desk on speakerphone, where the voice of Al Michaels can be heard.
PIP: “Heather, welcome to Snow Job, the first big show of 2021! What an incredible introduction by the surefire first ballot Hall of Fame QB, Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers!”
HHL: “May he rest in peace.”
PIP: “ Indeed. And joining us by speakerphone, of course, is legendary sports commentator Al Michaels. Do you believe in miracles, Al? Because I do!”
AL MICHAELS ON SPEAKERPHONE: “I’m just here so I won’t get fined.”
PIP: “Of course. Heather, let’s go through the rules here… this is a Blitz Massacre. What the hell does that mean?”
HHL: “No clue, Pip, and neither do the competitors, I don’t think… they seem to be very confused and asking a lot of questions to Chaz Bobo.”
PIP: “Damn it, I was hoping you got a brief. Well, we can see they have been given an official XWF football. Apparently, if I am reading the note Vinnie scribbled down and handed me about ten seconds before we walked into this booth… the way this works is a no holds barred six on six fall count anywhere affair… one fall for a team victory… but you can ONLY make the fall if you are the one in possession of the ball!”
HHL: That makes perfect sense. Have you seen my flask?”
PIP: “Heather, please, it’s early in the show…”
AL MICHAELS ON SPEAKERPHONE: *TOILET FLUSHING NOISE*
PIP: “Wonderful. Oh, there’s the bell!”
Down on the field, the bell sounds and Morbid Angel shoulderblocks Savannah Knightley into the turf. Line Judge John Bihl immediately throws a flag.
PIP: “Okay, well, I was told this was no holds barred…”
Bihl makes Morbid back up five yards. Morbid just shrugs and does it.
Mandii Rider jumps onto the fallen Knightley and starts hammering her, and then Claude Savage bum rushes Morbid Angel and spears him to the turf, sending the football bouncing away toward the sideline.
Azrael Erebus and Griffin MacAlister lock up, and Erebus kicks him in the gut which makes him spit out his cigarette. Erebus then drops Griff with a UFO DDT. Because:
Big Money Oswald clobbers both Finn and Jimson with a massive double clothesline. Both of them hit the frozen tundra hard, and we hear the sound of a bunch of plastic popping bubbles. Oswald yanks Jimson’s shirt up and pulls out a huge sheet of bubble wrap that Jim has wrapped himself in, and he rips it to shreds.
Osira Themis grabs Mandii by the hair and drags her off of Knightley, who helps out by throwing a mule kick up into the chest of Rider. Osira then snaps her fingers at the back of Rider’s shirt, then reaches into her sleeve and pulls Mandii’s bra out! Mandii’s assets are unsupported! Knightley punches Rider in the titty.
Tommy Gunn is trapped in a slap fight with Ash Quinn, and he is surprisingly not doing very well. That’s ring rust for you, I guess. Or maybe he never got over the turf toe injury that had him riding the pine back in his high school days. Either way, Ash is giving him a whipping and backing him up to the sideline right up until Gunn lights some flash paper he had hidden in his cargo pants. He went for the fireball trick within five minutes of the match starting!
Gunn then grabs the football which has rolled over from when Morbid fumbled it. He cocks his arm towards Ash and…
PIP: “Tommy just hit Ash with the Brady Bunch Special, Heather. Apparently he just didn’t have the arm to go full Last Boy Scout.”
HHL: “Sure, Pip.”
Ash falls to the ground grabbing her nose, and Tommy flips over her for an inverted Natural Selection! He grabs the football and makes a cover!
1!
2!!
Saved by a field goal kick from Finn Kuhn! The ball ricochets off of Finn’s foot and doinks off the uprights in the end zone, and Gunn falls flat on his face, out cold. Those European guys know how to kick!
Everyone turns their attention to a loud, whining, screaming sound and they realize Big Money is just tossing Jim Jimson all over the place at will. Ozzy tosses Jimson off to the sideline, right through HoloRef Dot Gif. John Bihl demands the game clock be stopped for going out of bounds even after Richard Wang explains to him calmly that this is not an actual football game. Bihl throws a flag.
Money grabs Jimson again and finds the two chain gang guys, holding their down markers chained together. He makes them step apart and then whips Jimson into the chain! Jimson hits the chain like a ring rope and rebounds… THE POUNCE! Did you know that was one of Oswald’s moves!? IT IS! He’s an alpha male!
HHL: “What a move from the massive Big Money! Jimson was turned inside out! I think a few of his pads even came off!”
PIP: “Definitely Heather, the MyPillow he had strapped to his backside is now being used by Morbid Angel to smother Claude Savage!”
AL MICHAELS ON SPEAKERPHONE: “Representative. Rep-Re-Sentative!”
PIP: “Oh dear, Al Michaels seems to think he’s on hold with someone now…”
Meanwhile…
Near the goal post, Mandii Irish whips Savannah right into the pole! Knightley manages to avert her forward momentum and grab the pole, then slithers around it and does some pretty sick pole tricks. She’s upside down bouncing her butt cheek when Mandii grabs her again and rips her off, forcing her to fall onto the cold ground.
Here comes Osira! Themis with a big running boot flattens Rider, and then Themis starts to shimmy up the pole! She scoots up that thing so quick that she’s standing on the crossbar barefoot before Mandii can even get to her feet… and then Osira dives off with a swnton… but Rider moves away! Themis eats Tundra!
Mandii grabs a handful of Themis’ hair, then pulls her onto her shoulders! Rider Fall! Themis is knocked for a loop and Mandii is just bouncing on her chest for all she’s worth! Wait… Savannah punches Mandii in the titty.
PIP: “Do you think she’s trying to wear Rider down the way MMA fighters use leg kicks?”
HHL: “I have no idea…”
Griffin has taken a quick advantage on Erebus by hitting him in what would be kneecaps on a person. As we all learned from Star Trek VI, The Undiscovered Country, not all species keep their genitals in the same place.
MacAlister pulls Erebus up into a stretch muffler, and Azrael is in trouble! Until Tommy Gunn clobbers him from behind with a picture perfect tackle… wait, hold on, John Bihl is holding up a yellow card now?
PIP: “Apparently Bihl is fouling Gunn for targeting… I don’t think that’s even an NFL rule, and I know they don’t use cards…”
HHL: “Not to mention this match is ANYTHING GOES! Why is Bihl always such a party pooper?”
PIP: “Looks like we’re getting a call from the replay official… Bihl is headed toward the Microsoft Surface tent, we’ll get a look at the play.”
The X-Tron (it’s really just Lambeau’s jumbotron but we renamed it for today) clearly shows from many different angles that Gunn made contact with Griffin using his shoulder, not his head. It also shows that he did not lower his head at all, and in fact did all he could to avoid using the crown of his leather helmet as a weapon.
PIP: “Seems pretty clear to me, Heather, not a penalty.”
THE RULING ON THE FIELD STANDS! THAT’S TWO MINUTES IN THE PENALTY BOX!
PIP: “What the…”
HHL: “ Did Bihl say penalty box?”
Tommy sullenly walks over to the sidelines and sits down on the bench, griping and complaining to the water boy.
Azrael Erebus gets back to his feet and signals that he’s open. In the far end zone, Big Money has found the football and lets it fly like a cannon. It’s a thing of beauty, like Rex Grossman throwing lasers into triple coverage. The ball goes 80 yards in the air and is a tiny bit high though, so Azrael has to make an adjustment for the ball…
Just freakin’ beautiful, man. A work of art.
Erebus tucks the ball under his arm and sinks in the Serendipitous Embrace onto Griffin! McAlister is trapped with nowhere to go, and Erebus has that vice grip in deeper than whatever mommy issues got into Chris Chaos.
PIP: “Wait Heather, look! That’s… why that’s DREZDIN! What’s he doing in Green Bay!??”
HHL: “Not just Drezdin, Pip… he’s got internet streaming celebrity and serial cat abuser Alinity with him!”
Drez and Alinity run onto the field and start stomping on Erebus, who is forced to let go of Griffin. Alinity pulls a cat our from under her shirt, showing off her nipple to the camera, and just beats the crap out of Azrael with that cat. I mean, holy balls, Azrael is getting pummeled by that cat.
Drezdin hits Griffin with a leg drop and then spray paints tDo across his back. All while yelling about how he is treated very unfairly and how he misses Peter and wants to kill Graves.
Across the field, Mandii Rider has Savannah Knightley up in position for a Daredevil Falls powerbomb, but Knightley counters by punching her in the titty.
DISCORD DRIVER FROM OSIRA THEMIS!
Osira has Mandii folded over backward, but the ball is nowhere in sight so the pinfall is called off by referee Virginia Hymen.
PIP: “Heather, I think Hymen has offended Mika Hunt…”
HHL: “Hunt wanted to be the one to wave off that pin but Hymen stepped in front of her. It was rude!”
PIP: “MIKA HUNT JUST TACKLED VIRGINIA HYMEN!”
Hymen has Hunt on her back, and everyone stops to stare at the two female referees tear at each other’s clothes in a ref catfight.
UNTIL DREZDIN RUNS OVER AND BULLDOZES THEM BOTH!
And then Big Money Oswald cracks a KO punch across the jaw of Drez, grabs his unconscious body by the ankles, and gives him a big Giant Swing! He clobbers Alinity with the swinging body of Drezdin! He just made Alinity his bitch ass whole!
In comes Morbid Angel with a head of steam, and he runs right into Oswald with a shoulder tackle… BUT NOBODY MOVES AN INCH!
The two big men back up ten paces like Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr… and they run right into one another again! NO MOVEMENT! It’s the proverbial unstoppable forces versus an immovable object!
PIP: “Claude Savage just grabbed the football! He’s sneaking up behind Morbid Angel with it!”
HHL: “Pip! LOOK!”
In Claude’s hand, the pink football has started to unzip… until Mini Morbid crawls out of it and grabs onto Savage’s face, biting him on the bridge of the nose!
“YOU SHALL NOT HARM PAPA!!!!! VICTORY FOREVER!!!!!”
Savage’s face explodes into blood and he falls to the turf with Mini on him like white on rice.
Mandii evades another devastating titty punch, and… DARK COVER from Mandii onto Knightley!
Jim Jimson is scurrying up the goalposts to hide from the action, but Osia is right behind him…
STRIFE TOSS FROM THEMIS TO JIMSON!!!
Griffin MacAlister finds himself backed up against a stack of Gatorade kegs, but he’s managing to evade the punches and kicks from Azrael Erebus…
REALITY CHECK!!!
Griff drops Az onto his face and then dumps some Gatorade over himself to celebrate, following up with a perfect rendition of the 1985 Bears Super Bowl Shuffle!
On the opposite sideline, Finn Kuhn has made the severe miscalculation to attempt his Kaiser’s Domain onto Tommy Gunn, but Gunn catches him mid-rotation and holds him up in a vertical suplex! KILLSHOT!!! Gunn puts Kuhn right through the visitors’ bench with that jackhammer!
Big Money is kneeling over the bodies of both Drezdin and Alinity, just punching holes through their heads. Neither of them have have moved in quite some time, and here comes Ash Quinn sensing an opportunity!
Ash sprints to Ozzy, and flips onto him with MALEVOLENCE!!!
NO!
Oswald stops her momentum, and pulls her back up into a powerbomb setup, then tosses her into the air…
DELETION!!!!
Back at midfield, Morbid Angel has pulled Mini Morbid off of Claude Savage, who is quivering and bleeding profusely from the nose. Mini spits out a chunk of Claude onto the turf and shakes his fists at the sky, while Morbid Angel reaches into a satchel…
PIP: “Oh no. You know what he used to keep in there.”
HHL: “But Pip, we fired Gilmour… didn’t that get rid of ALL of him?”
PIP: “One can only hope…”
Morbid Angel pulls his hand back out of his European Carryall, and he’s got a golden crucifix with an engraved Jesus on it!
PIP: “Can’t say I was expecting that, but it’s much better than what I *did* expect…”
HHL: “PIP HE JUST CRAMMED IT DOWN CLAUDE’S THROAT!”
PIP: “Mandible Cross! Mandible Cross! Morbid has Jesus Christ stuffed all the way down the gullet of Claude Savage, and he’s got the football as well!”
Big Money Oswald sees the trouble his team is in and he runs over like a freight train… but it’s too late! Savage is out and Chaz Bobo calls it!
DING! DING! DING!!!
Winners - Morbid Angel, Mandii, Rider, Jim Jimson, Ash Quinn, Griffin MacAlister, and Finn Kuhn
Ozzy plows into Morbid right after the decision, and he barrels Morbid angel onto the ground. Morbid pops right back up and the two behemoths are nose to nose, shoving each other back and sending spittle flying all over as they shout one another down.
PIP: “This match is over, but it looks like things are only beginning between Morbid Angel and Big Money!”
HHL :”What a start to Snow Job!”
Jenny is walking through the backstage area of Lambeau Field past all the trophy cases.
She has a cup of Starbucks Hot Cocoa in her hand and sips it as she looks at all of the trophies and accomplishments in the cases, commenting to herself that soon enough her name will be added to these exclusive lists.
As Jenny turns the corner, she bumps into Ash Quinn, who is coming to the back from her match. The Starbucks cup gets knocked back into Jenny's chest.
"Ummm EXCUSE ME?!"
Ash, panting and holding her neck, stares at her.
"Greatness is walking here....."
Ash, looking a hole through Jenny, doesn't back down.
"You know Jen....I used to think you were great. We all did. You were an inspiration to all of us.....but that waist of yours is looking pretty bare. You wanna truly be great? You wanna back up those claims? Go out there and win your belt back. Win it for the women's division and put the final nail in the coffin of the left hand........"
Jenny curls her lip.
"Or get burned....again.........but don't call yourself great until you prove its true."
"We'll see who gets burned....."
Jenny laughs a little to herself. She then dumps the hot cocoa over Ash's head!
"Watch your back, champ.....I'll be seeing you soon." Ash says, as Jenny walks by.
Back out in the parking lot, we see the crowd still standing around the podium, bundled up in the cold but filled with energy. Among the crowd are Proud Boys, Oath Keepers, Klansmen, and other extreme groups that have made their way to Green Bay for this event.
HHL: I hope they all get frost bite.
Standing at the podium at Holy Roman War Horse and former Congressman Ric Keller, with Keller doing the speaking.
Keller: We have had to sit back and watch while our very way of life has been attacked! We have had to accept our conservative Christian values being thrown out the window in the name of “progress”. I don’t know about you, but I don’t think this is progress. I think this is tyranny!
The crowd all lets out a “yeah!” as War Horse nods in agreement.
Keller: These radical socialist liberals HATE America! They are trying to destroy this country and implement their horrible third world ideals on all of us. But we will NOT take orders from socialists like AOC, or Joe Biden, or Andy Cortinovis! This is OUR country, and we’re taking it back!
The crowd cheers again as Keller continues to fire up the crowd; however, before too long, the sound of a car slowly pulling into the parking lot is heard, and a black Dodge Charger inches its way toward the crowd. From the windshield, it is clear that the car is driven by Centurion. The crowd immediately starts to boo and taunt him.
Keller: There he is! The beginning of our revolutionary march through professional wrestling begins by taking out this communist!
Centurion begins revving the engine, causing smoke to fly out of the exhaust pipe and the sound of the motor to drown out Keller at the podium. Keller, however, is determined to scream over it.
Keller: This is typical liberal behavior! Once again silencing our right to free speech! We will not stay silent while our rights are attacked! We will not…
Suddenly, the back tires of the car burn out, and the car begins to speed toward the crowd. Most of the crowd screams and runs away, but four Proud Boys, in their flack jackets and uniforms, stand tall and defiant. Centurion, however, does not slow down for them, and he plows into the Proud Boys, causing the four of them to bounce off the car and fly into the air.
PC: He picks up the spare!
The car continues to speed forward, rapidly approaching the podium. Holy Roman War Horse and Ric Keller both go wide eyed and look at each other.
Keller: Oh shit…
The two dive out of the way at the last second as the car crashes through the podium, shattering it into a hundred pieces, before slamming on the breaks and spinning out to a stop. A vast majority of the crowd sprints away from the parking lot as Centurion parks the car. He is wearing a dark black overcoat, and he steps out of the vehicle with a hard plastic cooler in his hand.
PC: Centurion looks like he’s going on a picnic. Grabbing a late lunch or something.
Ric Keller runs over to Centurion and takes a swing at him, but Centurion easily dodges it as Keller bounces off the car. Centurion opens up the cooler and as Keller turns back around, he is smashed in the face with a can!
HHL: The Twisted Tea! The deadliest substance on the planet for racists!
Several of the Proud Boys go to rush Centurion, but one by one, Centurion smashes cans of Twisted Tea into their faces, causing them all to fall to the ground. As Centurion breaks close to a dozen cans into the faces of the alt right militia members, Keller slowly gets back to his feet. Centurion reaches for another can, but notices the cooler is now empty. Centurion just shrugs his shoulders as he puts the cooler on top of Keller’s head before kicking him in the stomach, causing him to smack up against the car and collapse to the ground once again. Centurion looks around at the carnage, and sees that almost everyone has left. He then searches for Holy Roman War Horse, who is sprinting toward the entrance of the Atrium to Lambeau Field. Centurion goes to walk after him, when he hears someone calling him out.
Voice: HEY! Libural fuck!
Centurion turns his head and faces the parked limo. Standing on top of the roof of the limo is an overweight man, wearing a Viking helmet, with red, white, and blue face point. He is wearing a t-shirt that has a very graphic depiction of Centurion having sex with Vice President Kamala Harris on it, and he is wearing a shield with a blue line painted across it and a flaming Q also painted on it. The Viking hits his fist against the shield before pointing to Centurion.
Viking: Why don’t you be a man and fight me, you pussy!
Centurion glances back to the front doors of the Atrium, and War Horse has already made his way inside. Centurion looks back at the Viking and shrugs before walking toward him.
PC: I would like to remind everyone that this is supposed to be a rooftop brawl, and the match is between Centurion and Holy Roman War Horse, not some fat Viking.
Centurion steps up on the hood of the car and look up at the Viking. The Viking bashes his shield again and this time lets out a loud roar. Centurion jumps onto the roof of the limo and the Viking goes to bash him with the shield, but Centurion is able to duck and punch the Viking in the stomach. The Viking doubles over in pain and drops the shield off the side of the limo. Centurion takes the Viking helmet off the dude’s head and places it on his own before headbutting the man, causing the man to be split open and stumble backwards off the limo. The man ends up falling on his back onto the pavement, blood pouring out the front of his head, whimpering in pain.
PC: This is why you leave the fighting to the professionals, folks.
Centurion jumps off the limo and picks up the shield the man was previously holding. He takes a second to look at the terrible art work of the shield before shaking his head. In a flash, he turns around and nails a sprinting Ric Keller with the shield, bashing him high into the air and causing him to crash down onto the hood of the limo, denting it. Keller is once again unconscious as Centurion tosses the shield to the side.
HHL: I’m starting to feel really sorry for that guy, to be honest.
PC: He keeps trying to get involved in this match, and he’s eventually going to forget his own name.
Centurion finally turns towards the entrance of the Atrium and begins to walk towards it as the show quickly goes to commercial.
Match #2
Holy Roman War Horse
- vs -
Centurion
Rooftop Brawl
Savage RP Rules
Snow Job comes back from commercial for what we hope is the conclusion of the Rooftop Brawl between Centurion and Holy Roman War Horse.
The camera go to the roof of the Lambeau Field Atrium, where an elevator door opens up. Centurion takes two steps out of the elevator, but is immediately jumped from behind by Holy Roman War Horse, who has been waiting for him.
PC: Is this the official start of the match?
HHL: I don’t know, but I do get the feeling someone is about to be thrown over the side pretty soon.
War Horse delivers several blows to the back of Centurion’s head, causing him to lose his balance and stumble forward. Horse wastes no time, running to Centurion and nailing him with a boot to the back. Centurion falls face first onto the roof and War Horse gets on top of him, grabbing him in a choke hold. Centurion gasps for air as he gets to his knees, and War Horse uses his left hand to hit Centurion in the back of the head a few times. Centurion is able to get to his feet, but War Horse stays on his back, keeping the choke hold applied. Finally, Centurion runs backwards into an air conditioning unit, causing War Horse to hit it back first and fall off Centurion’s back onto his feet. Centurion turns around and delivers a slap to War Horse’s mask that’s so hard, it turns his mask sideways.
War Horse stumbles forward and Centurion grabs him in a headlock. He delivers a few punches to War Horse’s ribs before War Horse is able to get his head out from his mask, allowing him to get out of the headlock.
HHL: Oh God, put the mask back on!
Centurion’s momentum causes him to stumble backwards, and War Horse jumps in the air and kicks Centurion directly in the chest, causing Centurion to fall to the ground. War Horse runs over and begins kicking Centurion in the ribs. Centurion tries blocking the kicks, but War Horse continues to kick and stomp on him in various areas.
War Horse: What are you going to do now, lib? Do you feel the end of your life approaching?
War Horse kicks Centurion really hard in the back, causing Centurion to grab the small of his back and yell in pain.
War Horse: You look good when you cry, you know that?
Centurion gets to his knees, but War Horse sits down on his back and begins to choke him out again, this time taking his fist and pressing it up against Centurion’s throat. Centurion begins to cough and gasp for air as War Horse starts to laugh.
War Horse: Don’t worry, old man. I’ll take good care of Ruby while you’re gone.
Centurion grits his teeth and yells before grabbing War Horse’s fist and pulling it away from his throat. Centurion is able to get enough space to push his head forward before flying it backwards, using the back of his head to headbutt War Horse right in the nose. Blood immediately starts pouring out of War Horses’ nose as he falls backwards onto the ground. Centurion quickly gets to his feet as War Horse begins to crawl away from Centurion on his hands and knees.
Centurion: Come here, you son of a bitch!
Centurion grabs War Horse by the collar of his shirt before tossing him into and over an air conditioning unit. War Horse continues to try and stumble away, but Centurion picks up him and tosses him into a chainlink fence. War Horse tries to find his bearings, but Centurion nails him with a kick in the back, causing him to stumble forward and over a metal vent. War Horse rolls to his back as Centurion continues to approach him, and War Horse puts his hands in the air.
War Horse: Wait! Wait! We can talk about this!
Centurion stops before he stomps on War Horse, which gives War Horse enough time to grab a combination of snow and rocks and throw it directly into Centurion’s face. Centurion grabs his eyes and War Horse immediately gets up and runs away toward the exit to the stairs. He gets to the door and opens it as Centurion yells out to him.
Centurion: Running away like a coward, are you?!
War Horse: Not quite.
War Horse reaches into the door and turns back toward Centurion while holding a gun in his hand.
HHL: Son of a bitch.
PC: We probably should have expected something like this.
War Horse, blood gushing out of his nose, walks up to Centurion with a giant smile on his face. Centurion raises his hands in the air as a cocky War Horse gets closer to him.
War Horse: Second amendment, bitch!
War Horse gets right in front of Centurion and pulls the trigger.
*CLICK!*
Confused, War Horse looks at the gun before pulling the trigger again.
*CLICK!*
*CLICK!*
Centurion reaches into his pocket and pulls out a bunch of bullets, which he drops onto the ground.
Centurion: Looking for these?
War Horse gets a look of fear on his face, but he can not react as Centurion grabs the gun and kicks War Horse in the stomach, causing War Horse to lose control of the gun. Centurion tosses the gun to the side and grabs War Horse by the hair. He delivers a few punches to the top of War Horse’s head as the two brawl closer and closer to the edge of the roof. Centurion delivers one final kick to War Horse’s face, causing him to go unconscious and fall onto his back on the roof. Centurion picks War Horse up and grabs him by the back of his collar and his belt, as if he were a bouncer tossing a drunk guy out of the bar.
Centurion: Tell Reagan, when I see him, I’m kicking his ass!
Centurion takes War Horse and tosses him off the roof, as whatever remains of the crowd below screams in terror. Centurion doesn’t even watch as War Horse falls through the sky and down toward the parking lot – he simply turns away and walks back toward the elevator.
Winner - Centurion
The crowd in Lambeau Field are cold as the snow continues to fill the area around them. They’re freezing but still hyped for the event taking place. Not to mention that they are ready for more action to come.
Suffice to say they don’t expect “Heaven” by Los Lonely Boys to play on the PA system.
The reaction is instantaneous and a huge bout of cheers react from the lips of the crowd.
HHL: What?!
There’s a few moments from the crowd as the old video intro for the man in question is seen on the X-Tron, but none of the man himself.
Pip: The news broke earlier today. Is it possible to see him this early?
HHL: News?! What news?!
It all comes to a head as Hawaiian Hardhead himself steps onto the stage. He is wearing a fairly nice suit, though the jacket is decked out in a more Hawaiian style than the rest. He is also wearing shades and looking out into the ever cheering crowd.
Pip: Here he is!
HHL: The Insane Delgado!
Hardhead lets the positive reception pour onto him for a few moments before taking the shades off his eyes. The stoic, neutral expression doesn’t change, even as he tosses the shades to the side.
For a few moments, he just stands there, watching the entire Lambeau Field erupt in cheers.
Soon, he begins to descend towards the ring.
Pip: The former two time X-Treme Champion. He was a two time holder of the Hart Championship. He was the very last ACW Violent Champion and is the only man to win both the State Penn and the Road to Glory Tournament in PWE.
HHL: Yeah, all that, not to mention a former XWF Owner in his own right, a former general manager of Impact, and somebody who has been up and down these roads with any other veteran who has crossed paths in this company.
Pip: Hardhead has had bouts with Chris Page, with James Raven in the past.
Once he reaches ringside, Hardhead climbs the steps and walks in between the middle ropes. He grabs a mic from a nearby technician and makes his way to the middle of the ring. Despite all the snow around him, HHH remain stoic as he tries to catch the face and eyes of every single person in the stadium.
“Heaven” fades off and the sounds of the stadium are filled with chants of “Triple H”, “Hardhead”, “Welcome Back”, all loud enough to echo into the Green Bay sky.
HHL: I don’t think he’s ever seen a crowd this big.
Pip: Least of all for this company. It’s been nearly 10 years since he stepped foot into an XWF ring.
Eventually, Hardhead raises the mic to his lips.
Hawaiian Hardhead: When the hell was this company able to afford a stadium?
This unleashes yet another loud positive reaction. This does nothing to change the neutral expression on his face.
Hawaiian Hardhead: Yes, please, get your cheers out. Because trust me…you’ll be missing them in a second.
This confuses the fans, with many openly expressing as such.
Hawaiian Hardhead: Fifteen years ago…a 26 year old man was signed to the X-Treme Wrestling Federation. That 26 year old man was a dreamer…he wanted to be big and famous and to lead the wrestling world into the future it needed to be. That man was humiliated on a weekly basis both inside the ring and outside of it. But despite that…who was it that overcame everything…brought again him?
This starts to get the crowd back under him.
Hawaiian Hardhead: Who was it…than when the card was blank, he accepted a slot to get a damn match.
Some more fans start coming back, providing a positive reaction.
Hawaiian Hardhead: Who was it, despite everybody around him, became the owner of this damn company?
THIS certainly provides the fans with something to cheer for.
Hawaiian Hardhead: That man believed so…damn…much…in THIS place…that despite everything that went down 12, 13 years ago, he remained. And yet…a decade ago…that man walked away. When he saw that a new generation was already in line to replace him, he took his ball, tried somewhere else, and then left the wrestling business behind.
The Green Bay crowd give this a much more mixed reaction.
Hawaiian Hardhead: But for ten years…I watched. I saw what the wrestling industry was becoming first hand when my son—my own…damn…son, took after his old man and joined willingly and openly. And that’s when I knew exactly what this place needed.
Hardhead nods his head a few times at the crowd’s positive cheers.
Hawaiian Hardhead: Yeah…what it needed…it needed someone…like the Insane Delgado back…to remind the world what wrestling…should…be.
The crowd is MUCH more willing to give THIS a mixed reaction. Half the crowd immediately see the phrase for what it is and boo him. The other half see it as a call to action and cheer.
Hawaiian Hardhead: Wresting has torn my family apart. Wrestling has given me an opportunity…hell, like it always has. I can make money doing something I’m good at, and I’ll be damned if anybody says I’m NOT good at this. Ask Legion or Lunatic…ask Eric Anderson if you can find him…ask James Raven if he’s still floating around back there…ask Christian Connolly, Tomoko Hanahara, … K—fricken—Money…
Those last two Hall of Legends get an unbelievably positive reaction just on name alone.
Hawaiian Hardhead: I’m DAMN good at this, and I’m gonna make damn sure my legacy doesn’t go down as a joke. So to any youngsters in the back…I don’t want you here, and I’ll be damn sure you don’t forget it. To any of the veterans in the back…hey, let’s do it one more time out of respect. And for anybody in the middle who isn’t quite sure what to make of me…than I’ll be perfectly happy to make you an example.
Hardhead nods his head and stares right into the lens of the hard cam.
Hawaiian Hardhead: I’m coming for Saturday Savage. And when that roster is through and I’ve proven I’m better than them, than I’m coming for Wednesday Warfare. And good luck trying to tell me to stop, because you can’t stop this Hawaiian dumb-ass. So get on notice or get the hell out of my way. Hawaiian Hardhead is back in the XWF, and I don’t need to be its owner…to know…that I will own your ass. And if you didn’t know by now…?
The crowd finishes the chant off with a “I didn’t want you to know.” Hardhead sees this and nods.
Hawaiian Hardhead: You already know the rest.
HHH tosses the mic to the mat before making his way out of the ring and to the back, ignoring any fan at ringside who might want a high-five or a selfie.
HHL: What a call out! What a return!
Pip: Hawaiian Hardhead just put the Savage roster in notice, making sure to piss everyone in the back off in the process.
PC: "Coming up next is the Triple Threat Match for the XWF World Heavyweight Championship."
HHL(using air quotes): " 'World Heavyweight Championship.' "
PC: "Oh, you're such a hater; no different than management! This match should be the co-Main Event, but instead it's a few spots away from being a curtain jerker!!!"
HHL: "You're more blind than a Trump supporter! Do you even remember how Big D 'won' his 'Championship'?"
PC: "Of course I do! By being a great GM, putting on 5 Star Classics, AND cutting some damn good promos!"
HHL: "I have no idea what to say to that, but something tells me it doesnt matter................... on with the 'World Title Match', I suppose."
"The Anthem of THUGS" plays over the Lambeau Field speakers, causing the fans to give a mixed reaction.
PC: "Is that the T.H.U.G.'s Tag Team theme?"
HHL: "Sounds like it."
John Black and Tommy Wish BOTH walk out onto the ramp, causing the crowd noise to grow even louder. They're both hyped up, acting friendly towards each other as they pump up the audience.
PC: "They DO know this is a Triple Threat Match, right?!? You're not supposed to walk down the aisle with your opponent!!!!"
HHL: "To be fair, this is gonna look more like a Handicap Match than anything else!"
PC: "That may be so, but one of them still has to PIN Big D; I hope they hashed that out beforehand!"
The T.H.U.G.S. makes their way down the aisle, giving fives to the random fans that want one. Tommy grabs a World Championship THUGS sign from a random teen in the front row and shows it off for the camera, pointing to it with intensity before tossing it aside. John Black heads over to the steel steps and climbs up them as Wish slides into the ring under the bottom rope. Tommy gets up at the same time JB enters the ring, both men posing together in unity.
HHL: "One of those men could very well be the next person to take possession of the belt formerly known as the XWF World Heavyweight Championship."
PC: "And do you know what the keyword in that ridiculous jumble of a statement is?"
HHL: "Possession?"
PC: "One............ only ONE of them can walk away from this match as CHAMPION."
HHL: "Considering it's not a real Title, I don't see any reason they both CAN'T be Champi.................. I mean, 'hold it.'"
PC: "Because that's not how it works, Heather!"
John and Tommy quit posing and give each other respect before turning towards the entrance and waiting for their opponent.
"X-Men Theme" by Powerglove echoes throughout the stadium, causing the fans to go crazy. Pyro falls from the X-Tron and fireworks shoot up from the stage, but the World Champion never comes out.
PC: "Big D wouldn't pass up the opportunity to defend the World Title in his little brother's favorite team's stadium! Where could he be?!?"
John and Tommy point at the ramp, talking amongst themselves in confusion. As they ponder where their opponent could be, he slides into the ring, behind them, with the World Title around his waist and a chair in hand.
HHL: "There he is!"
PC: "The T.H.U.G.S. don't know he's behind them!"
With his opponents distracted, Big D winds up and cracks Tommy Wish in the back, causing him to drop to his knees and to the mat. This causes a shocked John Black to turn around, only for HIM to get smashed across the skull with the same chair, dropping him as well. Big D then takes off his belt and hands it to the ref, who quickly runs it over while calling for the bell.
HHL: "And Big D pays them back for that attack last Warfare!"
PC: "Ha!!! Who's the thug NOW???"
Big D tosses the chair aside and brings Tommy to his feet, Irish Whipping him towards the side he slithered in from. On the rebound, D lifts Wish up and smashes him against the mat with a devastating Spinebuster. He quickly pops back to his feet just in time to duck a punch by JB, allowing D to sneak behind him and hit an abrupt German Suplex. The Champion keeps his wrists locked and drags Black up only to put him back down with another one. Big D continues to keep hold of his opponent, once again pulling him to his feet and preparing for a third Suplex. Before he can attempt it, though, Tommy Wish hits an Enzuiguri out of nowhere, causing D to let go and fall back to the mat.
HHL: "Well, it didn't take long for the numbers game to catch up to Big D."
PC: "Numbers game?!? Last time I checked, this wasn't a Tag Team Match, it's supposed to be a Triple Threat!"
HHL: "It doesn't matter, Pip, he'd be just as outnumbered against any other opponents."
Tommy grabs D and brings him to his feet, where he puts his head between his legs and hoists him up for a Powerbomb. Unfortunately for Wish, Big D is able to slip out of it, kick him in the gut, and get him into DDT position. As he does so, John Black gets up and approaches him, only to receive the exact same treatment.
PC: "The Champ could be looking for a HideYaFace on both T.H.U.G.S.!!!!"
Before he can hit it, JB and Tommy shove D off of them, causing him to drop back and bounce off the ropes. The T.H.U.G.S. go for a Clothesline as he heads in their direction, but Big D ducks it, shoots off the opposite side, and drops them both with a Double Clothesline of his own as the fans go crazy. Wish immediately gets back up, only to walk into a Belly to Belly Suplex that sends him sliding to the outside. A dazed John Black also gets to his feet, only to back into the arms of the World Champion, who completes the trifecta from earlier with one more German Suplex that sends HIM barreling to the outside, as well.
HHL: "Big D is on fire!!!"
PC: "So much for the numbers game!"
Tommy and John get together to regroup, talking strategy as Big D motions for them to come back in. After a bit of a chat, the T.H.U.G.S. break off in separate directions where they lift up the ring skirt on their respective side and search under the ring. It doesn't take them long to come back up with a weapon; a Stop Sign for Black, and the trademark Kendo Stick for Wish. Seeing both his opponents armed, Big D bends down and picks up the chair he bought in earlier as the T.H.U.G.S. climb onto the apron, one on each side of D.
PC: "This doesn't look good for the Champion!"
HHL: "That numbers game was bound to catch up to him eventually, I'm just surprised it took this long!"
Big D looks back and forth, anticipating which T.H.U.G. will strike first. As they slowly stalk him, D hesitates a bit before finally settling on John Black to attack. He runs over and delivers a barrage of rights, forcing JB to drop the Stop Sign. With Big D distracted, this allows Tommy Wish to hurry inside and whack him across the back with his Kendo Stick, dropping him to his knees. John Black quickly recovers and grabs Big D by the arms, pulling him down across the top rope so he can't escape. Tommy then lifts Big D's shirt, revealing a welt from the first shot he took.
PC: "Oh my God! What are they gonna do to him?!?"
HHL: "I don't know, but I'm kind of jealous."
PC: "Wha-what did you just say???"
HHL: "Nothing."
With Big D unable to defend himself, Wish cracks him across the back, once again, causing him to cry out in pain. He tries to drop down, but JB continues to pull on his arms, forcing him to stay on his feet. Tommy delivers another shot, instantly ripping D's flesh like it was nothing. His legs buckle as he screams once more, but is still unable to go down thanks to John Black.
HHL: "Big D needs to give up, no fake Title is worth THIS!!!"
PC: "That Title's not fake to D, he'd rather take the ass whoopin' of a lifetime than hand it over to either of them!"
Tommy commands the ref to check on D, who is breathing heavily and sweating profusely. He asks him if he wants to quit, only for him to spit at John Black and ask for more. The referee shrugs at Wish, who responds with one of his own before unleashing his strongest shot yet, one so powerful, it sends half the Kendo Stick flying into the 22nd row. He tosses the other half aside and begins to talk smack in Big D's face as John Black continues to hold him with one arm, and slap him with the other.
HHL: "Talk about adding insult to injury!"
PC: "They are absolutely ruthless!"
JB finally lets Big D go, causing him to crumble to the mat as John and Tommy laught at their opponent. Wish orders Black to grab a Table, which he begins to do. With his T.H.U.G. brethren distracted, Tommy quickly rolls D onto his back and hooks a leg for the cover.
PC: "Tommy just tried to pin Big D and John Black doesn't even realize it!"
HHL: "You gotta wonder how he'd feel about that?"
PC: "Probably not very good but, like I said at the start, they ARE opponents!"
Tommy Wish quickly gets up just as JB pulls a Table out from under the ring. He slides it in, following closely behind, before helping his Tag Team partner set it up near the ropes.
HHL: "Looks like they're setting up for a Drive-Bye!"
The T.H.U.G.S. drag D to his feet and Irish Whip him towards the ropes opposite the Table, but he's able to catch himself before bouncing back. This causes Tommy to charge at him, but Big D is able to dump him over the top rope like it was nothin'. John Black then runs at D, who bends down in an attempt to throw him over the top rope, as well, but JB is able to stop before he can do it. Black immediately wraps D's arm around his neck and hoists him up, before dropping him with a nasty Blacka Jacka. With Tommy still down on the outside, JB tries to take advantage with a cover.
HHL: "Hey, like you said, it IS a Triple Threat, afterall!"
John Black gets off of D just before Tommy can join him back in the ring, unaware of the attempted pinfall. They both signal for The Drive-Bye before whipping D back to the ropes and driving him through the table with it on the rebound.
PC: "Drive-Bye!!!! Big D's World Title is as good as gone!!!!!!"
Before either man can take advantage of the big move, Big D unconsciously rolls to the side and out of the ring. Tommy takes a step forward to go after D, but JB grabs him by the shoulder, stopping Wish in his tracks.
PC: "What's John doing?"
HHL: "Looks like he might want to fight!"
PC: "NOW?!?!?"
JB motions from himself to Wish, and back again. Tommy doesn't look too thrilled about the proposition, but eventually takes a deep breath and nods in agreement.
PC: "Looks like the T.H.U.G.S. are gonna duke it out for Big D's Title!"
HHL: "Do they really wanna risk breaking up over a fake Championship???"
PC: "Dammit, Heather, will you stop shitting all over the company's most prestigious prize?!??!"
HHL: "I don't think I'm the one shitting all over a legacy, Big D's done enough of that for the both of us!"
JB and Tommy take a bit to prepare themselves mentally for the task at hand; John cracking his fists and stretching as Wish hops up and down on his toes. Eventually, an impatient referees gestures for them to go at it, which they slowly get ready to do. The T.H.U.G.S. circle the ring, on opposite sides for what could have been the first time in history, for what seems like an eternity. Finally, after much anticipation, John and Tommy lock up to the delight of the crowd.
PC: "This is it! Tommy Wish and John Black for Big D's World Championship!!!!!!"
HHL: "We could be witnessing the end of the T.H.U.G.S.!"
JB & Tommy stay locked up for a good minute or so, with neither man looking to make the first move. They take turns pushing the other backwards a few steps, before eventually breaking the hold and backing into their respective corners.
PC: "What's wrong with them?!? Don't they know this is their best chance to win, while the Champion's down???"
HHL: "Some brothers fight, others don't."
John and Tommy wipe the sweat from their faces, overcome with emotion. Black then slaps himself a couple times and shakes his head, before pleading with Wish to give it his all. His friend nods, before running out of the corner and locking up with JB in the center of the ring, once more. This time John comes out with the advantage, putting Tommy into brotherly Headlock, as if he were prepared to give him a noogie. Whatever Black planned to do is quickly thwarted as Big D slides back into the ring and nearly decapitates him with a massive Clothesline that causes Wish to flip his partner of his shoulders.
PC: "They wasted too much time!"
Tommy stays on his feet, sneaking around D unnoticed. This allows him to catch the World Champion by surprise as he turns around into a Kick to the midsection........................ which he manages to catch to the awe of the crowd! Big D then uses Wish's leg to turn him around before hoisting him up for the Dan Slam, which he delivers to perfection. He follows it up with a defiant hook of the leg.
ONE
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TWO
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JOHN BLACK BREAKS IT UP!!!!!!!
PC: "God damn John Black! How's Big D gonna retain under these circumstances?!??!"
HHL: "The same circumstances as his opponents, Pip."
PC: "Oh yeah, because they're just chomping at the bit to destroy each other like they are D......................"
JB drags Big D to his feet and kicks him in the stomach before turning around and attempting Tha Underground Noise. D manages to block it, shoving Black away from him in a desperate escape. He then grabs John from behind and attempts to hoist him up for a Dan Slam, but JB's able to slip behind D. The World Champion turns around and ends up right on his opponent's shoulders, looking to end it with a Blacklisted Death Valley Driver. Before John can hit it, though, Big D slides off and drags him to the mat by his arm, locking in a Crossface submission hold.
PC: "Big D Face Cruncher!!!! John Black's gonna have no choice but to tap out!!!!!"
As Big D applies pressure, JB tries to reach out for the ropes but is too far away. He tries to claw at D's hands but the Champion has it locked in tight and won't budge. With no other options, Black holds his hand out like he's going to tap................................. only for Tommy Wish to smack Big D across the back of the head with a fresh Kendo Stick, forcing him to break the hold.
HHL: "Tommy keeps himself AND John Black alive with that save!"
PC: "It must be nice having someone watch your back in a TRIPLE THREAT Match, this is totally fair for the Champion!"
HHL: "Big D knew it would be this way and still made the challenge, I don't know why YOU'RE complaining!"
Tommy brings D to his feet and gets him in position for the HideYaFace, before falling backwards and planting his face into the mat with it.
PC: "We could have a new Champion right here!"
Wish goes to lay across Big D for a cover, but notices his partner getting to his feet and decides against it.
HHL: "He didn't want John to catch him going for the win!"
PC: "Because he knows it's wrong to do such an injustice to Big D!!!!!"
HHL: "I don't think that's it, Pip."
John walks over to Tommy and points outside the ring, calling for another Table. Wish nods in agreement, patting his buddy on the chest before climbing through the ropes and looking under the ring. As he does so, JB slowly kneels down in an attempt to pin his opponent with Tommy distracted. Unfortunately for him, Wish comes back up with a Table as he's in the process of kneeling, causing him to grab his ribs and pretend to be hurt. A concerned Wish slides the Table into the ring before climbing in and checking on John, who assures him he's alright.
HHL: "Tommy almost caught John trying to steal the win!"
PC: "Both these men are trying to win the Title without fighting the other!"
The T.H.U.G.S. work together to set up the second Table before pulling Big D to his feet. The two of them have no trouble Irish Whipping their battered opponent to the ropes and dropping him through the Table for another Drive-Bye as the fans begin to boo.
HHL: "I think that's gonna be all she wrote on Big D's 'World Title' fantasy, Pip."
PC: "I hate to admit it, but I think you may be right."
John Black poses for the hateful crowd, celebrating their near victory. With his partner in crime's back to him, Tommy Wish takes advantage of JB's gloating by dropping down and laying across Big D for a cover.
ONE
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TWO
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Before the ref's hand hits for the 3 count, John Black turns around and sees his friend covering their opponent, causing him to grab Tommy by the shoulders and yank him up!!!!!!!!
PC: "The T.H.U.G.S. are about to implode!!!!!"
Tommy tries making excuses, but JB won't heat any of it. Black berates Wish, telling him he's too obsessed with winning the Title and needs to give him a chance. As both men argue, Big D crawls up behind Tommy and uses all the strength he's got left to shove him forward. This knocks Wish into Black, sending him backwards through the ropes. The collision sends Tommy back towards D, allowing the Champion to roll him up from behind with a Schoolboy.
Winner- Big D via pinfall, STILL XWF World Heavyweight Champion
PC: "Big D did it! He overcame the odds and defeated not one, but TWO men to retain his Title!!!!!"
HHL: "While I refuse to give any merit to Big D's 'Title reign', I must admit it WAS an impressive victory!"
PC: "Its a start. Like he said, he'll make a believer out of you and the rest of 'em soon enough!"
HHL: "Somehow I doubt that."
Immediately after the pin, Big D falls backwards and rolls out of the ring. The referee follows, grabbing D's Title and handing it to him as he leans against the barricade, laughing as the fans in the front row pat him.
PC: "Big D certainly is a Champion of the people, or something like that."
HHL: "Well, they certainly seem to like him, God knows why.........."
Big D walks along the barricade until he's at the top of the ramp. There he stops and turns around, holding his belt above his head before heading through the curtain to the back.
With Big D gone, Tommy grabs at his head in shame as JB slides back in and joins him.
PC: "We could be witnessing the end of T.H.U.G.S. as we know it!"
John throws his arms up at his partner, who continues to hang his head in shame. Black laces back and forth for a moment before stopping in front of Tommy and extending a hand. Wish looks at it for a moment, before grasping it with his own as the fans cheer the pair on.
HHL: "Looks like they're stronger than ever to me!"
John Black helps Tommy Wish up and gives him an encouraging hug as the crowd applauds them for their special bond.
HHL: "They may not have a World Title, but they've got each other!"
PC: "What a shame."
The T.H.U.G.S. stand together, triumphant even in a loss. They exit the ring side by side and head up the aisle, unphased by their stroke of misfortune. Before heading to the back, John and Tommy stop at the top of the ramp and put their fists in the air in solidarity.
“The Sickest C*nt” by Enkay1er begins to play as the lights turn up all through the arena. Bobbi emerges through the crowd, microphone in hand as she sings along with the words to her rather obnoxious and crude theme song. She prompts the fans to sing along with her, to the delight of the young fans and shock and embarrassment of the older people and parents, who attempt to cover their children’s ears. Bobbi slowly rolls over the barricade as she finally climbs into the ring, continuing to rap and dance terribly as the fans go wild.
Miss Fury walks out to the top of the stage with the Internet title in one hand and a microphone in the other.
Miss Fury: “Tonight you were scheduled to face Micheal Graves for this belt!”
Fury holds up the Internet Title.
Miss Fury: “But unfortunately, Micheal Graves couldn’t be here tonight. If he were, I’m sure he would have handed this over without question. After all, Micheal seems to have some sort of affinity towards you.”
Miss Fury: “I do not.”
Crowd boo’s
Miss Fury: “However, I do currently have possession of this belt, and since possession is nine-tenths of the law, I suppose that makes this championship mine to do with as I see fit!”
Bobbi London is inside of the ring flipping out, just begging Fury to walk here boney ass down and get some!
Miss Fury: “So I say tonight, we crown a new Internet Champion. Allow me to introduce you to your opponent!”
Loverboy Vinnie Lane: “This is unconventional! The champ can’t just vacate a title and then book a match to crown a new champion! Then again, we’ve never had a person take over the body of a champion before, so this is kinda uncharted territory.
Suddenly Barney Green appears in the ring behind Bobbi London! Her attention is fully on the stage and Miss Fury, giving Barney the opportunity to start things off cheap with a clubbing shot from behind that floor's Bobbi. Miss Fury laughs as Ari Silversteen blasts by her on his way to the ring!
Loverboy Vinnie Lane: “Oh come on, not this guy! He’s in BOB’s pocket!”
Ari slides into the ring and calls for the bell as Barney continues his assault!
*DING DING*
Barney lays the boots to Bobbi London as he tries to keep her on the mat. He grabs a handful of hair and leads her to her feet only to plant her headfirst with a DDT! Barney sits up and brushes his hands off, showing just how easy it is! He then lays back, half assed hooking the leg as Ari dives in with a fast count!
ONE!
TWO!!
THRE-NO!
Bobbi kicks out just before Ari makes it to three!
Loverboy Vinnie Lane: “Barney can’t believe it! I can though, dudes, I’ve seen this woman in action before! Uh, no THAT kinda action!”
Barney pushes up to his feet and grabs Bobbi by the hair again, but she sends a right hand straight to his gut, doubling him over and allowing her to spring up! With Barney on the defensive, Bobbi fires off with a series of right hands, backing “The Daddy Of Violence” into the corner! Bobbi lifts Green to a seated position on the top rope and fires off a couple of rights to the head to keep him there before climbing up to the second rope herself. She tucks his head under her arm and springs back, sending Barney crashing into the mat with a second rope superplex!
Loverboy Vinnie Lane: “Oh boy, you could feel the ground shake with that one! Looks like Barney’s having trouble getting up!”
Bobbi is back to her feet and charging in as Barney lays on the mat favoring his back. Bobbi whips Barney into the corner and flies in behind him with a Stinger Splash! Barney stumbles out of the corner only for Bobbi to clubber him with a Discus Clothesline! Bobbi hits the ropes and after a snazzy dance, she drops the BIG LEG on Barney and counts along with the pinfall!
ONE!
TWO!!
THREE!
Loverboy Vinnie Lane: “Oh come on Ari! He used to be such a nice kid!”
Except Ari isn’t counting! Bobbi jumps up and gets in Ari’s face. Ari backs away as he tries to calm the beast. This gives Barney time to recover. Bobbi, now with Ari backed into the corner with her fist drawn back and looks ready to smash the crooked BOB referee in the mouth, but before she can Barney drags her out of the corner by her hair and locks in The Green Dream! (Crossface Chickenwing)
Loverboy Vinnie Lane: “Barney has that chickenwing locked in, but Bobbi is trying to fight out of it!”
Ari moves in to ask if she submits.
“NO!”
Ari continues to ask over and over until Bobbi flips Barney over her shoulder and into Ari, knocking him to the mat!
Loverboy Vinnie Lane: “Ref bump! The rules are out the window!”
Barney springs back up, but he’s off balance as he walks right into a Thunderous Right Hook that sends him crashing back to the mat! Bobbi calls for the “Thunder From Down Under” before hitting the ropes!
*CRACK*
Miss Fury on the outside with the chair! Bobbi stumbles off the ropes and flops face first in the center of the ring. Fury slides in and pulls Barney over Bobbi.
Loverboy Vinnie Lane: “Oh give me a break!”
Fury slaps Ari around, trying to wake him up. He comes to, only to find Miss Fury shouting directions at him! Fury drags him over to the pin and shouts for him to count!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
Winner and NEW Internet Champion - Barney Green!
Loverboy Vinnie Lane: “We’ve got a new Internet champion! Or is it, champions? Maybe we should just list everyone in BOB as champion considering this was a team effort tonight! Make no mistake, when Bobbi London realizes what happened tonight, there’s going to be Hell to pay!”
” Ladies and Gentleman the following contest is a FATAL FOUR WAY ELIMINATION MATCH for the ANARCHY CHAMPIONSHIP!
” Introducing first, RUBY!”
The fans explode as Ruby emerges out to the top of the ramp where she raises her arms in the air with a huge smile on her face. Ruby starts to make the walk towards the ring. She reaches ringside where she slides into the squared circle under the bottom rope. She nips up to her feet garnering a louder ovation from the crowd.
” Introducing participant number SECOND…. KENZI GREY
“Gimme Your Applause” by Lady Gaga, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera begins to play as bulbs flash all through the arena. Kenzi Grey walks out with a confident smile for the fans as an explosion of pyro erupts and she strikes a pose for the cameras. She pauses to adjust the heavy black brace on her right knee, then heads down the aisle slapping the outstretched hands of the fans. At ringside, she climbs onto the ring apron and pauses again for the flash of the cameras, kneeling there with a smirk. She climbs the turn post and gives the fans one more photo opportunity as she sits atop the turnbuckle, still blowing kisses and posing for the fans. She hops down, finally entering the ring as she readies herself for her the match to begin.
I WANNA ROCK!
(ROCK!!)
I
WANT
TO
ROCK
(ROCK!!!!)
Out from the back walks the majority owner of the XWF, Vinnie Lane, with the Blonde Bomshell Roxy Cotton on his arm. Next to them is a small form, about the size of a child, in a hooded black robe.
Vinnie: “Hey, dudes and dudettes! Before we get the zaniest Anarchy Championship match ever started, I have a special announcement to make! Know how everyone’s been complaining about how out of control Anarchy is? And how, even though it is the BEST brand of XWF television, there’s too much going on? There’s so many stables going around right now that I can’t even figure out which Hand is which! Left, Right, Middle? I don’t know, dude! Well, my bodacious babe-”
Roxy: “That’s me, bbs.”
Vinnie: “-has convinced me that we need to do something about that now! To help me out with keeping order on Anarchy...even though that sounds totally weird...we’re going to have a Commissioner! Someone to keep the rules straight and keep some order. And that starts tonight! I didn’t exactly agree with Roxy’s recommendation of who this person should be, but she thinks they’ll be fair and unbiased.”
Roxy: “Definitely. No ulterior motives at all, Vinnie.”
Vinnie: “This person, who has promised to totally be fair and listen to everything I tell them and do what I say, has prepared a statement-”
Roxy: “Make sure you say it to the tune of ‘What’s your name, man?’ from Hamilton, bb.”
Vinnie: “...to the tune of what?”
Roxy: “It’s some dumb musical, or something.”
Vinnie: “That’s radical. Let’s see…”
Vinnie pulls out a piece of paper from his pocket, but as he unfolds it, the length of it stretches to the floor and his eyes go wide behind his sunglasses.
Vinnie: “Whoa, dude! How long is this thing?
Roxy: “Five verses, bb.”
Vinnie: “Woah, dude! We ain’t got time for that!”
Roxy: “Ugh...at least read the last line, bb, or else I’ll never hear the end of it.”
Vinnie: “Okay okay….um...ahem…🎶What’s your name, Mang?”🎶
The figure in black throws back the hood to reveal bright white hair and snatches the microphone from the bossman.
🎶“Sarah Lacklan, I’m the Champ”🎶
There is silence from the Green Bay crowd.
🎶“My name is Sarah Lacklan, I’m the Champ!”🎶
The stun from the crowd fades as the former Universal Champion sings out to Hamilton.
🎶“And there's a million belts I haven't won...but just you wait, just you wait!”🎶
Behind her, Roxy rolls her eyes as hard as Sarah ever has and Vinnie gives a nervous smile. Sarah flashes her Billion $$$ Smile and turns to the duo behind her.
Sarah: “Okay, thanks! Still on for our weekly booty bleaching on Wednesday, Rox?”
Roxy: “Obvs, bb.”
She lunges forward and presses herself up into a releve and hugs Roxy, the two giving one another pecks on the cheeks. She and Vinnie then share a wary glance before XWF’s Dynamic Duo of Tubular Awesomeness leave the stage and Sarah again flashes her expensive smile and brings the mic to her lips.
Sarah: “HIIIIIII-iiiiiii! This is Sarah Lacklan…”
She flips her bright white hair back as ascending piano notes are played through the P.A.
Crowd: MARKETING GENIUS!
She smiles as the crowd attempts to sing along with one of her many...many…MANY highly marketable catchphrases, and she gives a slight shake of her head.
Sarah: “As the bossman alluded to before, the state of Anarchy, the BEST brand of professional wrestling within the XWF, has fallen into a state of utter CHAOS. And speaking as an expert on all things chaos...my Mumsie literally calls herself Le Champion du Chaos...don’t ask...no, really, don’t ask...so I know exactly what it will take to right this ship...EXTENSIVE RULES!”
The crowd gives a lukewarm cheer as Sarah waves her arm towards the VinnieScreen behind her. She takes the opportunity to remove the massive black robe and reveal the sequin-heavy black and red Firestarter dress underneath.
Sarah: “Now, if you will all turn your attention to my slideshow presentation, it will be easy to see that-”
DIRECTOR’S NOTE:
EVEN THOUGH THIS IS A LIVE BROADCAST, WE WERE ABLE TO FAST-FORWARD THROUGH MANY OF SARAH’S DUMB SLIDES. KINDA LIKE WHEN THEY WERE LOOKING FOR LONE STAR IN SPACEBALLS.
YOU’RE WELCOME
Sarah: “Which brings us to the rules!”
Sarah turns away from the monitor and looks down the ramp to the ring, Tula seems unimpressed, Miss Fury seems eager, and Ruby stealthily elbows Kenzi in the ribs in order to wake her up.
Sarah: “Starting with THIS match for the Anarchy Championship between the chick who sold her soul to some losers to defeat my Beloved...the chick in the mask who I legit thought was Vita for, like, weeks...my dummy dum-dum (almost) best friend...and the most beautiful, intelligent, smart, artistic, linguistic, punctual, attentive, sweet-”
DIRECTOR’S NOTE:
ONCE AGAIN, WE FAST-FORWARDED THIS PART. SARAH’S LIST OF SUPERLATIVES FOR KENZI WAS SO LONG THAT WE HAD TO CUT OUR PLANNED DREZDIN APPRECIATION SEGMENT.
YOU’RE WELCOME
Sarah: “-mate there has ever been...AND moving forward to EVERY edition of Anarchy.
RULE NUMBER ONE: No Flippy Stuff. Because that stuff is DUMB. Now, you MAY jump off the top rope but without flourish, spin, twist, or rotation.
RULE NUMBER TWO: No pottymouths! Because the amount of swearing Ruby does behind the scenes is downright embarrassing.
RULE NUMBER THREE: No Weapons or Hardcore wrestling. Because God loathes that garbage!
RULE NUMBER FOUR: Everyone MUST be at the show AT LEAST two hours before the opening bell. Because to be early is to be on time!
RULE NUMBER FIVE: Everyone MUST stay for the entire show. After all, you can't improve without watching Main Event stars like me!
RULE NUMBER SIX: You must provide ALL required promotional material before your match. No one likes a Silent Sally!
RULE NUMBER SEVEN: There will be NO outside interference without EVERYONE involved being removed from the building. Win your matches clean...like when I defeated Roxy for the UGWC Global Championship at Outlast!
RULE NUMBER EIGHT: Everyone MUST attend my pre-show slide-show presentation. There will be a test!
RULE NUMBER NINE: No making fun of Ruby...because that's MY job!”
Sarah mercifully wraps up her speech and heads over to a special section of seats set up for her, Vinnie Lane and Roxy Cotton.
” Introducing participant number THIRD…. MISS FURY
Loverboy Vinnie Lane: "Before I go allow me to let you all in on how this match came to be. Miss Fury wasn't originally a part of this match, but after "SOMEBODY" attacked Vita Valenteen at Anarchy, I had no choice but to add her to the match. Well, that or make it a three-way, but who would want to see Ruby, Kenzi, and Tula in a three-way!?!"
With her music having played for a while and no sign of Miss Fury, the crowd grows restless.
Loverboy Vinnie Lane: "Miss Fury taking her sweet time getting to the ring. I do know that she had a match up in Wisconsin at GCWA Adrenaline Rush IV about an hour ago. I have no idea how she planned on traveling 1100 miles to be here tonight, but it looks like this might become a three-way after all dudes!"
Suddenly a ring of fire seems to manifest out of thin air at the top of the stage.
Loverboy Vinnie Lane: "What the He-"
Miss Fury appears beyond the ring of fire. Behind her, we see various GCWA employees, including PerZag who Fury has made an offer to join BOB. Could this be an indication that the GCWA star is joining BOB? If so, you saw it here first! As she steps through the fire and onto the stage the Hellacious tear through time and space shrinks and closes.
Loverboy Vinnie Lane: "Well, she did claim to find Unknown Soldiers pentagram pendant. So... Yeah... IT'S A FOURWAY AGAIN!"
Miss Fury confidently walks down the stage as fans both heckle and reach out for a chance to touch the mastermind of BOB. She ignores them all, her attention fixated on the task at hand.
Loverboy Vinnie Lane: "Miss Fury is my odds on favorite tonight, and I'm totally NOT saying that because BOB has dirt on me! She's good! The best! "The Real Face of Anarchy", and tonight she has a very good chance of walking out of Snow Job as champion!"
Miss Fury takes the steps up to the apron and climbs into the ring. She settles into one of the empty corners and cracks her neck before using the ropes to stretch as Vinnie Lane and Roxy Cotton take a seat in the section made specifically for them and Sarah Lacklan.
” And finally introducing the ANARCHY CHAMPION… TULA KEALI’I
The crowd boos as Tula emerge out to the top of the ramp hoisting the Anarchy Title high in the air with her right hand. She looks at the competitors inside the ring and then at the members of BoB on the outside before slinging the title over her shoulder as she makes her way towards the ring. Tula ignores the crowds response and as she reaches ringside she rolls into the ring and gets to get feet where she takes center ring once again hoisting up the Anarchy Title for all three women to look up at. She passes the title off the to the referee who then holds it up one for time. He passes it off to the time keeper before signaling for the bell.
Standard Four Corners Match- One Fall
Anarchy Rules
Sarah looks confused as the bell rings. She gives the referee a questioning glance, but only gets a shrug in return. Surprisingly...thankfully...Sarah shrugs back and makes her way down to the ring to sit at the commentary table.
” Talk about a SHOCK! Sarah Lacklan is now the Commissioner of Anarchy!
All four combatants walk out towards the center of the ring before it immediately explodes with Kenzi trading blows with Tula while Ruby and Fury engage in a heated exchange of their own.
” This one is going to break down in a hurry as all four desperately want to leave as the new Anarchy Champion.”
Fury takes the upper hand on Ruby as she gouges her in the eyes while driving he back into the ropes before delivering a knee to the midsection. Across the ring Tula is countered by Kenzi as she takes a front face lock before delivering a snap suplex! Grey floats over into a cover on the Anarchy Champion.
1!!
2!!
TH..
Tula escapes and rolls out to the floor trying to create some space from Grey. Kenzi rolls out behind Tula where she comes up from behind taking a back waist lock only to have Tula counter with a side elbow to the temple breaking Grey’s grasp. In the ring Fury whips Ruby across the ring with an Irish Whip, Ruby bounces off the near side where she ducks under a clothesline attempt from Fury, Ruby spring boards off the middle rope delivering a missile dropkick to Fury!
” Sarah Lacklan looking on eagerly as she is going to award the winner of this with the Anarchy Championship.”
Out on the floor Tula takes Kenzi and sends her crashing into the steel steps in front of the announcers table. Tula turns her attention towards Sarah and spouts off at her before turning back towards the ring. Tula slides into the ring where she comes up behind Ruby taking her from behind where she runs her towards a corner and sends her sailing through the top and middle rope right shoulder first off the ring post!
” Tula just Pearl Harbored Ruby from behind!”
The crowd erupts with boos as Tula yanks Ruby back into the ring in a seated position against the turnbuckles. We see Tula starting to throw knee strikes to Ruby! Each strike is harder than the first. Ms. Fury starts to get to her feet where she sees Kenzi standing up. Fury charges towards the ropes diving out with a suicide dive on to Grey! Ms. Fury pops back up to her feet as the bobbies are backing away from the action with their hands up in the air.
Back in the ring Tula is shown picking Ruby up off the mat. She drives her back into the turnbuckles before hoisting her up to a seated position on the top turnbuckle. Tula delivers an open handed chop across the chest of Ruby echoing throughout the stadium before Tula steps up on the middle ropes, she locks a front face lock on Ruby and looks to deliver a superplex! Ruby latches on to the top rope blocking the superplex.
Ms. Fury slides back into the ring where she runs across towards the corner housing Tula and Ruby as Tula headbuts Ruby before retaking the front face lock. Ms. Fury makes her way underneath Tula where a Tower of Doom Suplex/Powerbomb combination takes three of the four down and out! The crowd roars with boos as Thunder Knuckles and Bobby Bourbon start stomping away at Kenzi Grey only to see the referee catch them in the act! The crowd roars as he EJECTS the three from ringside!
” BoB has been ejected!”
BoB members argue with the referee which gains the attention of Ms. Fury who is reaching her feet. She comes over and jumps in on the argument while Kenzi is pulling herself back up using the ring apron as the bobbies start to exit.
” Smart move by Thunder Knuckles and Bourbon.”
” It sounded like the official was going to remove Ms. Fury from the match if they didn’t leave.”
Fury continues to argue with the referee while Kenzi slips back into the ring where she comes up with a School Girl to Ms. Fury!
1!!
2!!!
THR…
Fury kicks out and is quickly back to her feet beating Kenzi, Fury swings wildly with a right hand that Kenzi ducks and catches Fury with a standing Hurrincanrana that sends Fury spilling out to the floor! Tula has recovered where she comes up behind Kenzi with a back waist lock and delivers a release German Suplex! Tula pops back up to her feet where she sizes up Ruby who is nearing her feet. Tula comes hard looking for a Judas Effect! Ruby ducks and counters with a Northern Light Suplex with a bridge!
1!!
2!!
THREE!!
TULA HAS BEEN ELIMINATED
The crowd responds with the shocking elimination of the Anarchy Champion!
” We are guaranteed a new Anarchy Champion with the surprising elimination of Tula!”
” I don’t believe it!!!”
Ms. Fury climbs back up on the ring apron where she sizes up Ruby who has no clue she’s even there. As Ruby starts to turn around Ms. Fury spring boards off the top rope delivering a block buster neck breaker to Ruby! Ms. Fury works her way back to her feet. She turns her attention towards Kenzi who is nearing her feet back in a neutral corner. Fury charges forward with a full head of steam only to eat a reverse elbow from Grey that rocks Fury back several feet. Kenzi explodes from the corer with a V-Trigger knee strike to jaw of Ms. Fury that drops her like a sack of potatoes! Kenzi runs towards the ropes where she delivers a springboard moonsault to Fury! Grey makes the cover!
1!!
2!!!
THRE…
Fury kicks out of the near fall to a massive gasp from the crowd!
” This is an incredible showing from all these participants involved thus far!”
Kenzi starts to get back to her feet where he reaches down picking Ms. Fury up off the mat. Ruby is back to her feet behind Ms. Fury where she charges towards her and as Ms. Fury turns around she leap frogs over Ruby who connects with a Spear to Kenzi! Ruby starts getting to her feet where Ms. Fury comes up from behind delivering a Back Stabber to Ruby! Fury quickly makes the cover on Ruby!
1!!!
2!!!
THRE…
Ruby kicks out to a thunderous ovation from the crowd! We see Ms. Fury start to work her way back to her feet. She reaches down picking Ruby up off the mat where she meets her with an eyes rake before being thrown out to the floor by Fury. Ms. Fury turns around in time to side step Grey sending her spilling out to the ring apron. Ms. Fury spins around with a jumping kick to the temple of Grey sending her falling backwards down to the floor and on to Ruby who is getting back to her feet. Ms. Fury has her sights on Ruby and Kenzi as she starts to climb the turnbuckles from inside the ring. Out on the floor both Grey and Ruby are negotiating their way back to a vertical base and as they do Ms. Fury turns around on the top rope where she delivers a picture perfect moonsault on to both Ruby and Kenzi!
” These ladies are all over the place!”
The crowd is receptive for the action that’s unfolding while Ms. Fury is the first to her feet. She picks up Kenzi and tosses her back into the ring. Kenzi rolls to the center of the ring as Ms. Fury climbs up on the ring apron but as she steps into the ring Ruby latches on to her left ankle stopping her progress. Ms. Fury steps back out to the ring apron where she kicks Ruby in the head breaking her grasp and then stepping into the ring where Kenzi catches her with a low dropkick to the ring knee! Kenzi seizes the moment to deliver her Leg Drop DDT!
” THE BLOCKBUSTER from Kenzi!”
Kenzi rolls Ms. Fury over making the cover.
1!!!
2!!!
THREE!!!
MS. FURY HAS BEEN ELIMINATED
” And then there were two…”
Sarah Lacklan looks on with the Anarchy Title resting in her lap while Ruby rolls back into the ring and as Kenzi turns around she sees Ruby standing as the crowd is on fire.
” Ruby versus Kenzi- the winner of this fall will be your new Anarchy Champion!
The stare down between Ruby and Kenzi continues as the crowd gets louder and louder for both remaining participants. They circle each other before locking up center ring, Kenzi latches on to a side head lock only to be backed into the ropes by Ruby, Ruby shoots Kenzi across the ring, Kenzi bounces off the near side where she ducks a clothesline attempt from Ruby and puts on the breaks, Ruby turns around and into a Fireman’s Carry by Kenzi who delivers a double knee gut buster! Grey scurries into the cover on Ruby!
1!!
2!!!
THRE….
Ruby escapes to a huge roar from the crowd!
Kenzi gets to both knees while glancing towards the referee who shows her two fingers. Kenzi steps back up to a vertical base where she reaches down picking Ruby up off the mat. She scoops her up and slams her down to the mat. Kenzi walks towards the ropes where she steps out to the ring apron and begins to climb up to the top rope.
Kenzi reaches the top turnbuckle where he sizes up Ruby who lays prone on the mat below.
Kenzi leaps off the top rope looking for a flying elbow drop only to see Ruby roll out of the way at the last second sending Kenzi crashing and burning into the mat! Both Ruby and Grey are down with the crowd going crazy. We see Ruby starting to push herself up off the mat followed by Kenzi. Ruby meets Grey with a spin kick to the midsection that doubles Grey over and allows for Ruby to deliver a SunSet Powerbomb which she holds for the cover!
1!!
2!!
THRE…
Kenzi ecapes to a massive ovation from the crowd!
” Back and forth they go who gets the pinfall nobody knows!?!?!?”
Ruby gets back up to her feet where she now walks towards the ropes and steps out to the ring apron. Ruby starts to climb up to the top turnbuckle where she looks down at Kenzi! Ruby leaps off the top rope looking to deliver RUBY IN THE ROUGH! Kenzi rolls out of the way sending Ruby double stomping down into the mat as Ruby rolls through getting back to her feet where she catches Kenzi with the RUBY CUTTER from out of nowhere!
Ruby rolls Kenzi over making the cover as she hooks the near leg.
1!!!
2!!!
THRE…
Kenzi kicks out to another massive ovation from the crowd!
Ruby now gets to both knees as she looks towards the referee with her hands on her hips. She stands back to a vertical base before reaching down picking Kenzi up off the mat. Ruby locks to scoop Kenzi up only to see Kenzi slide down the back of Ruby and deliver a reverse DDT! Kenzi starts to use the crowd to will herself as she starts getting back up.
She backs up into a neutral corner where she measures Ruby who rolls over to her chest and starts pushing herself up off the mat. Kenzi charges forward looking to deliver a Curb Stomp! Ruby throws her head back out of the way at the last second before rolling up Grey with a School Girl!
1!!
2!!
THREE!!!
DING….DING… DING….
WINNER AND NEW ANARCHY CHAMPION: RUBY
Sarah Lacklan gets up from her chair and enters the ring with the Anarchy Title. She hands it over to Ruby and raises her arm.
Sarah pulls away and again flashes her Billion $$$ smile.
Sarah: “But wait...there’s more! After such a fantastic match, after showing all of the XWF what the FACE of Anarchy is at this moment, we have a conundrum: What is next? In a match with three great former Anarchy Champions...and Miss Fury...who else could possibly challenge for this prestigious title?”
Sarah’s smile turns mischievous.
Sarah: “Funny story, that.”
Sarah backs away from the Anarchy Champion and backs into a corner. She pushes herself up, placing her infamous #SquatBooty on the top turnbuckle to sit on it in one of her iconic positions, and gestures towards the crowd.
Sarah: “Everyone here knows that, not that long ago, I skipped and sashayed my way through the halls with THE big gold belt around my waist. And guess what? No one beat me for it. Know what that means? Just about all of these beautiful XWF fans know who the REAL champion is. Which brings me to THAT.”
She points at the Anarchy Championship.
Sarah: “My next act as the Commissioner of Anarchy is to not only reinstate myself as an active XWF competitor...but to book myself in a #1 Contender’s match next week on Anarchy! And who will I be facing? Who else deserves the chance to fight for a chance at being THE champion? It’s someone who has been fighting for years and years, who is strong and resolute, who has been overlooked by competitors and fans alike, but who DESERVES this opportunity. And that person is…”
...pause for dramatic effect...
Sarah: Billy ‘Bass’ Ackwards!
The silence from the crowd is palpable.
Sarah: “That’s right! The Kentuckian Bulldozer, the Unstoppable Kentuck, the Bowling Green Brawler, is going one-on-one with YOUR Anarchy Commissioner! So tune in next Thursday...or whatever day we actually end up airing the show, anyway...and remember:
EYES!
ON!
ANARCHY!”
Miss Fury stormed up to Tula Keali’i as the two of them began shouting in each other's faces.
Loverboy Vinnie Lane: “Miss Fury has been venting her frustrations with Tula since returning, and it looks like those frustrations are about to boil over!”
The crowd was to their feet cheering on the action as neither woman was willing to give an inch as they butted heads in the ring. Out of nowhere, Tula shoved Fury back!
Loverboy Vinnie Lane: “If Fury’s looking for a fight, she’s found one!”
Fury drew back her right fist!
Then!?!
The Lights Went Out!!!
Loverboy Vinnie Lane: “Wait, what the hell’s going on now? this was just getting good!”
The darkened area now partially illuminated by cell phones and cigarette lighters gave off enough light to show the confusion in the crowd.
The LOUD BOOMING ECHO of BOO’s nearly drowns out the music as the Left Hand logo sparks the X-Tron to life!
Loverboy Vinnie Lane: “Listen to the crowd! This crowd has been split the whole night, but one thing they can agree on is that these people SUCK!”
Marf, Lycana, Geri Vayden, and Andrew Logan appeared at the top of the stage and stared down toward the two women in the ring. Fury and Tula struck an uneasy alliance as they squared up to battle The Left Hand.
Loverboy Vinnie Lane: “I’m not sure that either of these women can trust the other, but they certainly realize that right now in this moment, they simply don’t have a choice!”
Lycana smirked, knowing that the Left Hand has the advantage as she leads the charge down the ramp.
Loverboy Vinnie Lane: “Miss Fury has been very vocal about The Left Hand invading her “turf”, and Tula Keali’i joined the Left Hand just a few weeks ago, only to drop them like a bad habit the next show! Now The Left Hand is here for retribution, and who knows how far they’re willing to go!”
Marf was the first to make his move, jumping up to the apron and drawing the attention of Tula as he waved her on.
Tula split from Fury as she dashed for the ropes, swinging wildly at Marf who jumped down just before impact! Fury scolded Tula for breaking ranks as one by one The Left Hand jumped up onto the apron. Tula and Fury, now back to back, braced for what was next.
Loverboy Vinnie Lane: “It’s four on two! Where’s Boris!?! Where’s BOB!? Get SOMEBODY out here!”
Suddenly the arena goes dark once again!
Loverboy Vinnie Lane: “For Pete’s sake! What now!?”
(click the video!)
Loverboy Vinnie Lane: “What the Hell!?!”
As the lights come back up, Miss Fury has Tula locked in the Black Widow! (Octopus hold) Tula is yelling out in pain, but powerless to do anything as The Left Hand climbs into the ring!
Loverboy Vinnie Lane: “What’s going on!? Has Miss Fury joined The Left Hand!?”
With Tula out cold, Fury shoves her lifeless body to the mat and turns to face the four members of The Left Hand. The Left Hand gathers as a group and stands face to face with Miss Fury as she pants from the vicious attack. Miss Fury faces the camera and...
Loverboy Vinnie Lane: “WHAT!? Miss Fury has joined The Left Hand!?! What does this mean for BOB!? Has she defected, or is this the beginning of some supervillain alliance!?!”
Fury and the Left Hand clear the ring as staff rush in to check on Tula.
The scene opens backstage with Alias singing a song as he walks down the corridor. Because Alias is always walking down a corridor to open segments.
“Jingle bells, Betsy smells
Hope Raven kills himself
Thaddy Duke, you make me puke
Please fall through an ice shelf
Hey!”
Apparently he still thinks it’s Christmas too.
“Dashing through the fed
Revenge on Ash is grand
What fun it is, when Tula’s dead
And I’ve eaten The Left Hand
Oh, Jingle bells, Betsy smells
I hope Raven kills himself
Thaddy Duke, you make me puke
Please fall through an ice shelf
Hey”!
“Hey!”
Alias stops in his tracks, well aware that that the second ‘hey’ wasn’t somebody singing along. If it was, they kind of sucked.
He turns on his heel, to see Oliver Danielson approaching him gingerly. Oliver limps a little and favors his broken ribs, a remnant of the attack he suffered at the hands of Baphomet. Alias looks from left to right, but only sees closed doors. As per the rules of the universe, closed doors means he can’t go in there. Eek!
Wait… I think Alias might have hijacked the narration here. Stop it, weirdo.
DANIELSON: “Hey!”
Taking too long to make a decision, Alias is now face to face with the CIA Agent responsible for putting The Baphomet behind bars.
DANIELSON: “I’ve been trying to catch up with you.”
ALIAS: “Yes.”
DANIELSON: “Is that it? Do you know who I am?”
ALIAS: “Yes.”
DANIELSON: “Great. Let me cut to the chase then. I’ve been investigating The Left Hand.”
ALIAS: “Yes.”
DANIELSON: “Uh… right. You know that I was able to put The Baphomet away, but you also know that The Left Hand is still here in the XWF. You’ve had dealings with Marf and Lycana as recently as last Warfare.”
ALIAS: “Yes.”
DANIELSON: “I hope you have more to say than that.”
ALIAS: “Yes.”
DANIELSON: “That’s… annoying. Look, I need to know what you know. The Pale Horse has been revealed as Andrew Logan, but he’s already said that he’s leading in The Baphomet’s place.”
ALIAS: “Yes.”
DANIELSON: “That’s a problem. Do you see that?”
ALIAS: “Yes.”
DANIELSON: “You keep saying that. Tell me, why do you think it’s a problem?”
Several blinks pass before Alias responds.
ALIAS: “The Baphomet is not the leader of The Left Hand.”
DANIELSON: “Yes.”
Okay, that’s weird.
ALIAS: “If Andrew Logan is leading in place of Baph’ while he’s incarcerated, that means Baph’ doesn’t follow him. Instead, the leader is still out there.”
DANIELSON: “I”m glad to hear that we’re on the same page, then. So… what do you know?”
Alias pauses again, blinking and blinking.
ALIAS: “I know that you said that The Left Hand’s attack on me was part of why you had to act quickly. But your response… your response was to take Baph’ away before I could get my hands on him; before I could return the favour. I know that you’re out here sowing doubt about The Left Hand’s membership, but you’re also the guy who has effectively protected their prized pig from his fate. From me.”
Oliver takes a deep breath and studies Alias for a moment.
DANIELSON: “Right… so you think that I’m with The Left Hand?”
ALIAS: “Yes.”
DANIELSON: “And this is coming from the guy who has The Left Hand symbology and phrasing throughout his promos; the guy who has painted a target on the backs of people who have left the group; the guy who seems to have it in for some of the only other people trying to seriously fight against them. This is coming from the guy who has never really laid a hand on the group, outside of sanctioned matches."
Alias seethes. He steps closer to Oliver, getting right in his face.
ALIAS: “Eat The Left Hand.”
Oliver’s face is stern in response.
DANIELSON: “Prove it.”
Quickly, the face softens.
DANIELSON: “Help me. Help us. Help stop The Left Hand.”
ALIAS: “I am, and I’m not alone.”
DANIELSON: “You’re right. You have Jenny Myst and all her selfishness. How did that end up for you on Warfare? You have Corey Smith and his checkered past. How long until he loses control? My intel on The Engineer would suggest that he’s a perfect candidate for The Left Hand. The Engineer would probably even think he could use The Left Hand for its own purposes. He already could be. How well do you really know him?”
Danielson sighs and steps back, turning to the side.
DANIELSON: “Look… if you’re not going to talk to me, at least do me a favour: look at who you’re surrounding yourself with. If you’re going to fight - and by that I mean through the sanctioned contests the XWF allows, nothing illegal! - if you’re going to do that, take a good hard look at your allies, and please… reconsider who you choose to fight alongside.”
ALIAS: “No.”
Alias flips the script, turns, and moves to walk away. Oliver calls out after him.
DANIELSON: “Talk to Tommy Romeo!”
Alias glares back at Oliver and starts singing again.
“Ollie the red-nosed reindeer
Had a problem with lying
And if you ever heard him
You would wish that he was dying…”
Oliver looks at Alias like he’s trying to figure out what’s going on.
DANIELSON: "Why are you singing a Christmas song? That was a while ago. Nevermind, it doesn’t matter. I’m not lying. If you want to take down the Left Hand, let’s work together. You’re right, arresting one guy didn’t make a difference. He has people attacking us from the outside. Let’s set a trap on them. Just be ready to move when the time comes. Can I count on you?"
Alias rushes into Danielson's personal space once again, his teeth bared.
ALIAS: "That’s not the question! The question is… can I count on you?"
DANIELSON: "You have my word."
ALIAS: "Prove it."
DANIELSON: “Wake up man. I’ve never attacked you. What are you so worried about? You’re too paranoid. The Left Hand is your enemy. It’s not so vague. You can’t have it both ways. You have to pick a side. You know they’re going to gang up on you again. They’re going after my family. I’m not here for the CIA, this is personal. They’re listening to us right now.”
ALIAS: “And I’m supposed to be the paranoid one…”
DANIELSON: “Maybe, but I’d rather be paranoid than dead. Look I don’t know when they’re going to strike. Maybe even tonight. Watch your back, alright?”
Alias turns and starts to walk away.
DANIELSON: “And talk to Romeo!”
Ignoring him, Alias begins to sing again as he trails off.
“I’m dreaming of a white Christmas
Cuddled up to my man Corey
With the fireplace burning
And both our loins yearning
Naked in all our glory…”
As the opening notes begin, the lights go out, save for a single spotlight on the top of the stage. Betsy comes out, but she’s only a silhouette at this point. Just as the drum strikes it’s second note, Betsy dabs and the lights come back. The song starts from the refrain as Betsy starts dancing down the ramp.
“Sin City’s cold and empty
No one’s around to judge me
I can’t see clearly when your gone-one-one”
Arms out, Betsy begins twirling around wildly, blonde ponytail whipping about with her, as she slaps hands with fans on both sides of the ramp. The chorus hits just as Betsy baseball slides into the ring.
“And I said ooooh, I’m blinded by the lights
I can’t sleep until I feel your touch
And I said ooooh, I’m drowning in the night
Oh, when I’m like this, you’re the one I trust”
As the chorus chimes on, Betsy bounces up and hops up onto every ring corner, pumping her fist and bobbing her head in time with the song, getting the fans amped up for the upcoming bout. When she finishes playing up the fans, she starts bouncing in place, preparing mentally for the bout.
Pip: My money is on Granger here. It is her time. She deserves this!
Heather: She's gonna have to go through the Queen first! Speak of the devil!
Jenny enters the arena when the Drums hit for the first time in her entrance music, Around the 20 second mark. She is usually taunting the fans or pretending to give high fives and the pulling away at the last moment with a sarcastic smirk and an eye roll. She slides into the ring and poses for the Green Bay crowd.
Geri walks to the ring, title over her shoulder as she stares at both competitors. Climbing into the ring, she hands the belt to the ref
The bell rings and Jenny explodes out of the gate. She immediately charges the champ, knocking Geri back into the corner, and firing off punches and hard shots. Betsy grabs Jenny by the hair and pulls her back to the middle. Jenny turns and fires a hard shot to Betsy, then goes back to Geri in the corner.
Pip: Jenny is incensed here!
Heather: She wants that title so badly, and she is taking it out on Geri here!
Geri begins to fire back. Betsy grabs Jenny again by the hair and tosses her back again. Geri comes out of the corner for a clothesline. Jenny is back up. Geri goes for a clothesline on her, but Jenny ducks. She knocks Geri down with another hard shot and turns around into a roundhouse kick to the head from Betsy. Jenny rolls towards the corner, Betsy walks towards Geri, picking her up by the black hair.
Betsy stands Geri up, delivering a hard chop to the chest and whipping her back into the corner. Just as she is about to take off for a splash, she is clubbed in the side of the head by Myst. Myst takes a second to stand over Betsy, saying something to get, and turns around into a dropkick from Geri.
Heather: Just like High Stakes, this is a fast paced match here. These ladies are flying around the ring right now.
Jenny rolls out of the ring as Betsy gets to her feet. She goes to pick up Betsy, but she blonde is able to land an uppercut to back the champ off.
Geri isn't done yet though, and comes right back at Betsy. Betsy is getting to her feet, when Geri sweeps the legs out from under her. Before she can even process what happened, Geri hits the deck face first. Jenny, outside the ring, grabbed her legs and tripped her. Jenny uses this opening to slide into the ring. He kicks Geri once and goes to lift up Betsy, and Betsy drops her with a spinebuster.
She covers.
1
2
Myst gets a shoulder up.
Geri is back up and drops an elbow, Betsy moves, and it connects with Myst. Betsy kicks Geri in the side of the head and Myst rolls away.
Betsy comes off the ropes an clotheslines Geri. She turns around and gets hit with a roundhouse kick by Myst.
Pip: THE CHICK KICK OUTTA NOWHERE!
Myst hooks the leg.
1
2
Betsy kicks out.
Myst slaps the mat as she picks Betsy up by the hair. She locks in a half nelson, stretching Betsy out, going to pull her into a pump handle slam but Betsy reverses, the top of her head at Jenny's midsection, and drives her shoulder, pushing Myst into the corner hard. She then backs out and drives the shoulder into Myst's mid section.
Again.
And again.
And again.
ANNNNNNND AGAIN.
Myst slumps in the corner. Betsy turns to the middle of the ring, Geri is up and swings, Betsy ducks, lifting her and dropping her over her knee for an atomic drop. Geri grabs at her lower extremity as Betsy plants her with a kick to the side of the head.
Betsy puts an arm up and yells.
Pip: Betsy Granger is on fire here! She is dominating in the early going!
Heather: She learned her lesson from the last match. She can't take her foot off the gas here!
Myst is stirring in the corner. Betsy runs and goes for a running knee, Myst moves. GLITTER BLIZZARD (code red)
PIN!
1
2
Geri breaks it up with a kick to the head of Myst. Geri picks up Betsy by the hair and tosses her, by the hair, back first into the middle of the ring. Coming off the ropes, Geri hits a back flip and lands with her knees to the midsection of Betsy. Geri pops up, putting her left hand up, and turns into a punch from Myst. Myst shoves her back into the corner. She quickly covers Betsy.
1
2
Betsy kicks out. Geri comes out of the corner, going for a clothesline, Myst ducks and Betsy rolls up Myst.
1
2
3---JENNY MYST GETS THE SHOULDER UP!
Betsy sits up, and Geri hits the standing drop kick to the face.
Heather: This match is non stop. Nobody can really get anything going. Betsy had her moment but this match has been so non stop. No one-on-ones. Right now its anyone's ballgame.
Geri grabs Jenny, pulling her down to set her up for a powerbomb. She lifts Jenny over her head......
BETSY WITH THE KICK TO THE FACE OUT OF NOWHERE!
Jenny falls on top of Geri!
1
2
3---NO BETSY PULLS JENNY OFF!
Betsy throws Jenny out of the way and bends down, picking up Geri.
Galactic Advantage!!! (Snap Mare Driver!)
Pip: Galactic Advantage! This one's over!
1
2
3----JENNY BREAKS UP THE PIN.
Myst drops to one knee, exhausted already, as Betsy holds her head and Geri rolls on the mat.
All three women are down as the ref begins to count.
Pip: Remember, a DQ or countout, it goes to the champ. These women are already exhausted, whose gonna get up first?
All three ladies are breathing heavy, you can see their breaths in the cold Green Bay air.
Jenny grabs the ropes, pulling herself up to her knees. Geri has rolled out of the ring. Betsy is up, trying to get herself fired up.
Myst is holding the ropes.....Betsy ruins.
TIGER FIEN KICK!
Myst is down again.
Betsy, breathing heavy, looks at the ring post. A sick smile crosses her face. She drags Jenny by the legs over to the post.
Heather: Oh boy!
She slides out of the ring and grabs Jenny's legs, pulling her spread eagle, crotch first into the ring post. Jenny yells, reaching down for her lady part then her eyes go wide when she realizes the intention.
"NO! No! No! No!"
Betsy grabs her legs, hooking them.
RING POST FIGURE FOUR!
ITS LOCKED IN TIGHT!!!!!!!
Pip: SHADES OF HIGH STAKES HERE! THIS IS THE SAME MOVE BETSY SHOULD HAVE WON WITH AT THE LAST PAY PER VIEW!
Jenny is writing, trying to get out of it but Betsy has it locked in tight!
Geri, however, is climbing to the top rope!
She is about to fly here, hit a missile drop kick to break up the hold. Just then, the crowd pops.
Pip: ASH QUINN, ITS ASH QUINN!
Heather: What the hell is she doing out here?!
The ref turns to look at Ash.
Myst has nowhere to go! She taps! Myst is tapping but the ref doesn't see it, he is looking at Ash!
Geri sees her too, and begins to wobble on the ropes. Ash climbs up on the apron. The ref is trying to get her down.
MYST IS TAPPING!
Pip: Myst is tapping! But again Ash has distracted the ref! Betsy has gotten screwed twice now by Ash Quinn!
Geri comes off the top, drop kicking Ash Quinn off the apron but Geri hit the deck hard! Both Quinn and Geri are down on the outside. Myst has tears in her eyes as Betsy keeps the hold on. When she realizes what happened, she lets go. Betsy charges over and picks up Ash by the hair.
"NOT AGAIN! YOU DUMB BITCH! STAY OUT OF MY BUSINESS!"
She slaps Ash, and Ash hits the deck again. Geri is up on the outside, wincing and holding her back. In the ring, Jenny is up my limping heavily.....Betsy doing damage to that leg again. Betsy grabs Geri, and tosses her into the steel steps on the outside. The ref is counting.
He is at 5. Ash crawls to the ropes. She is picking herself up, using the apron. Ash reaches into her bra this time, and pulls something out. She hands it to Jenny.
Pip: What the hell was that! Ash Quinn just handed something to Myst!
Betsy knees Ash in the back of the head, bouncing her face off the apron. Betsy grabs Geri and rolls her into the ring. Geri gets up as Betsy looks back at Ash to make sure she's down. Ash is stirring, Betsy drops down to continue beating on her.
MYST HITS GERI WITH A HUGE RIGHT HAND.
IT WAS BRASS KNUCKS. ASH HANDED MYST BRASS KNUCKLES!!!!!!
Geri is out cold!
Myst tosses the knuckles and hooks the leg!
Heather: MYST GONNA STEAL ONE HERE! THE BRASS KNUCKLE JUST EXPLODED GERI VAYDEN'S FACE!
Jenny has the leg hooked.
1
2
3-----NO! BETSY BREAKS UP THE PIN WITH A KICK TO THE HEAD!!!!!!!!
Myst rolls off as Betsy stays on the offense. She kicks the back of Myst's bad leg. Myst is trying to get up. Betsy kicks the leg again. Myst goes down in a heap of pain, holding her leg. The ref checks on her, but she goes to get up. Betsy kicks her again, this time in the head. Myst gets up slowly.
Heather: The Queen refusing to stay down here!
Betsy grabs her legs, dropping her onto her back. She goes to lock in the figure four again, center of the ring!
Myst kicks out of it, knocking Betsy back and scurrying to the corner. She is facing the turnbuckle as she pulls a small cannister out of her bra.
Pip: Oh no! Myst has that pepper spray!
Heather: Her ace in the hole! She always come prepared!
Betsy grabs Jenny, whipping her around. Jenny quick draws, pressing down on the button to spray Betsy!
GRANGER DUCKS!! BETSY DUCKED THE SPRAY!
She spins Jenny around.
Ich Muss Dich Brechen!!!! (FULL NELSON FACE BUSTER!!!!!)
PLANTING MYST INTO THE CANVAS!
She rolls her over, hooking the leg!
1
2
3!!!!!!
Pip: SHE DID IT! BETSY GRANGER HAS PINNED THE QUEEN AND WE HAVE A NEW SHOOTING STAR CHAMPION!!!!!!
Betsy rolls off, tears in her eyes as she gets up on her knees. The ref grabs her arm and raises it as he hands her the belt.
Pip: THE JOURNEY IS OVER! BETSY GRANGER HAS FINALLY DONE IT!
Geri is still out. Myst is rolling, holding her chest. Ash is sitting up on the outside, running her hands through her hair, in apparent shock!
Betsy's music hits as the fans cheer, Betsy standing up on the turnbuckle and throwing her title-filled arm in the air.
Winner and NEW XWF SHOOTING STAR CHAMPION, BETSY GRANGER!!
The bell rings loudly as “Blinding Lights” blasts triumphantly through the arena. Fans are on their feet roaring in celebration as Granger finally releases her hold on Myst/Vayden and gets to one knee. The referee hands her the Shooting Star Title and she takes it; meanwhile, Myst watches on, her clear blue eyes filled with frustration and disappointment as they flick between the belt and Granger’s face. Vayden has slunk out of the ring and heads up the ramp, scowling at the other two. She points to Granger, mouthing something that lets everyone know she’s not finished with the Impossible Traveler yet. Slinking through the curtain, The Corrupted One makes her exit.
Slowly leaving the ring after arguing with the ref, Myst continues to pout and walks slowly backward. The self-proclaimed Queen of the XWF eyes Betsy like a hawk as Granger begins to celebrate her win. Myst makes it to the stage and crosses her arms, as if refusing to leave. Hopping each corner of the ring, Betsy holds up the belt triumphantly as she poses.
She finally exits the ring, taking her time to interact with as many fans as she can. All the while, Myst watches her, leaving everyone to wonder what exactly she was thinking. As she rounds her way to the front apron, Betsy finally noticed Jenny still waiting at the stage. She grins and waves to the irate Myst, who salutes her with an unladylike gesture. Cackling, Betsy continues and cross between the barricades to interact as her music continues to blast.
Halfway up the ramp, she stops. Looking at Myst first, she looks back down to the belt in her hands. Looking back up at Jenny, a wicked grin spreads across the face of the Impossible Traveler. Turning towards a group of overexcited college students, she hands them the Shooting Star Title belt! The group takes it up excitedly, eagerly passing it around amongst themselves.
Mysts eyes widen as Granger takes a group selfie with them and tells them it’s their belt now. She walks away, still grinning sweetly towards Myst. As she approaches, she stops and the two women stare each other down. Myst is shrieking about the title belt, but Betsy shrugs and pushes past Jenny towards the back.
Myst runs back over to the group of college students and rips the belt out of the hands of a brunette. The girl in question looks momentarily shocked, then just laughs in Mysts face, her face full of thunder, Myst hugs the belt against her chest as she disappears backstage, still in shock at what Betsy had just done.
Like a Prayer by Madonna hits and the fans pop and begin cheering wildly. Barney Green makes his way out of a special exit in the top row of the stadium to a roar of approval while he looks up at the crazy contraption built around the xtron on the middle part of the open bowl. Dressed in his usual garbage suit, Green makes his way to the wild setup while keeping his eyes on the structure above. It appears to be not as tall as the stadiums jumbo trons on the left and right but definitely wider. On the top of the xtron there is about twelve by twelve feet of space and then ten foot high steel walls covered in panes of glass. It’s quite a sight, not easy to comprehend right away but it looks absolutely deadly.
Heather: Well the television title is about to be on the line in a very unique and scary match.
Pip: There is absolutely nothing about this match that will end well for either man involved.
Heather: Luckily they’re both violent men!
Nonpoint’s Bullet With a Name hits and the cheers quickly switch to boos as Charlie Nickles makes his way out of the special entrance now. He smacks the Television title he proudly wears around his waist while the fans heavily boo him. Barney has already climbed up to get onto the structure. Charlie flips off the crowd for more heat before climbing up the structure too. He enters the makeshift ring on top of the xtron and eyes Barney waiting for him. The holographic referee known as HoloRef Dot Gif waits in the middle of what we’ll call the ring since not real referee would agree to do this match.
Charlie Nickles' gets to name the stip in his first promo
15 minute time limit
Savage Rules
15:00
The clock starts and both men charge at each other. Neither of them give an inch and crash into one another, fists flying immediately. They go back and forth with heavy blows as the crowd works into a frenzy already. Charlie hits a solid hook but Barney responds with haymaker that rocks Charlie. Now the jabs and crosses come flying back at Barney from Charlie, backing him up. Barney fires back by lunging forward and hitting Charlie with a head but that stops him in his tracks. Barney hits Charlie in the face with a punch, followed by another and then one more but the last one is blocked before Charlie sends Barney stumbling back with an uppercut.
Charlie grins and charges at Barney, throwing a big elbow that Barney ducks. Barney wraps his arms around Charlie’s waist, hauls him up and then crashes down on top of him with a big time belly to belly. The entire structure vibrates from this. Charlie holds onto Barney though before he gets up and then starts feeding fists into his face for a moment. Barney drives an elbow into Charlie’s face to break his hold and then gets back to his feet. Charlie rolls over and gets up before Barney sends a heavy kick into his gut. Charlie grimaces but then jumps forward and hits a clothesline to take Barney down.
Heather: These two wasting no time at all trying to pound on one another!
Pip: Odds are quite high that we’ll see a lot of color from them both tonight.
Charlie gets up as Barney rolls over and pulls himself up too. Charlie charges once again and throws a punch but Barney sees this coming and catches him in a half nelson. Charlie reaches over with his free hand, grabs a pane of glass from the nearby wall and smashes it over Barney’s head. This releases the hold as Barney backs off, holding his head. Charlie runs at him but Barney catches him with power slam from out of nowhere, shaking the structure once again. He hooks a leg.
1...
Kick out by Charlie!
Barney is up first while Charlie pushes himself back up. Barney let’s out a roar and rushes to tackle but Charlie moves and throws Barney at one of the walls. He stops just in front of it before slamming into all of that glass. Charlie now runs at him and then leaps up to splash him but Barney moves at the last second and Charlie crashes into the steel wall covered in glass. The fans pop for the spot as Charlie stumbles back and slowly turns around. As Barney grabs for him Charlie suddenly stabs him in the shoulder with a shard of glass he concealed.
Heather: Charlie just stabbed Barney good lord!
Pip: This is going to became a bloody mess in no time.
13:04
Charlie backs up and admires what he’s done but Barney pulls the glass out of his shoulder, bites into it chewing glass and then spits the glass at Charlie who shields his eyes wisely. Barney then kicks Charlie directly in the balls, doubling him over. Barney grabs hold of Charlie and then flips him into the wall of glass with a gut wrench toss. Charlie hits the wall sideways and drops while multiple panes shatter, leaving shards of glass all over that area. Charlie tries to get back up but Barney rushes in and hits a DDT onto the broken glass while the fans go apeshit.
Barney gets up and brushes the glass off his back while blood is steadily oozing from his shoulder wound. Charlie gets up and growls while pulling a smaller piece of glass out of the side of his forehead, which is very cut up now. Barney beckons for him to come forward and Charlie stands up, wipes the early blood forming on his forehead across his face and smiles. Barney throws a hard hook that Charlie takes in the side of the head before he sends a sharp jab directly into Barney’s shoulder wound. Charlie then rakes his eyes and then grabs hold of Barney’s head and hits a running bulldog.
Charlie gets up while Barney tries to but gets kicked by Charlie in the ribs, sending him back down. He crawls closer to the wall while trying to get up but Charlie stomps on his back, knocking Barney into the wall. Before Barney can pull himself up Charlie steps on his head and pushes it into the wall, up against a pane of glass. The glass begins cracking as Charlie leans his weight onto the foot pressing on Barney. Charlie screams down at Barney while he’s yelling in pain. The glass gives way and breaks, all the pieces stuck to Barney’s face while Charlie continues to step down.
Heather: This is getting brutal in a hurry...
Pip: What are we watching here...
11:22
Barney grabs Charlie’s ankle and twists enough to break free, the side of his face covered in glass and blood now. Barney starts pulling himself back to his feet but Charlie throws a kick at his face. Barney grabs hold of Charlie’s leg and then scoops him up. Barney takes a few steps forward as he hauls Charlie up in the air and then slams him down hard with a modified spine buster. The massive structure really rumbles on that one and the fans cry out in shock. Barney hooks a leg and HoloRef Dot Gif makes the count.
1...
2...
Kick out by Charlie!
Heather: Barney getting back into it now.
Pip: Is that thing going to be stable enough to survive these two much longer?
Heather: I honestly don’t know...
Barney gets up and walks to one of the walls with lots of glass panes left. He takes a large pane of glass in each hand while Charlie starts pulling himself back up. No sooner does Charlie get up Barney slams both panes of glass against both sides of Charlie’s head. The panes shatter as Charlie drops to a knee. Barney looks at what’s left of the pieces of glass in his hands and then back to Charlie. Barney hits an open palm slap with the glass still in his hand, causing a huge gash across Charlie’s face.
Barney uses the other hand with glass to go for his Intelligent Diversion throat punch but Charlie grabs his arm before it connects. Charlie drives a knee into Barney’s stomach and then hooks him and hits the Devil Hook Drop non lifting double arm DDT to a loud boom as the structure rocks once again. Barney hits hard and slumps, blood all over his face now and still coming out of his shoulder wound. Charlie grabs him for a cover.
1...
2...
TH...NO!!! Kick out by Barney!
Heather: Barney taking a nasty bump there!
Pip: This is gross he’s covered in blood!
9:01
Charlie gets back up and hauls Barney up to his feet. He scoops him up and then runs directly into one of the steel walls. Barney is slammed into it and the glass, breaking dozens of panes all around him. Charlie keeps hold of him and then drops a quick slam on top of all the shattered glass. Charlie grabs a handful of the broken glass, his hands already dripping with blood from all the cuts. He goes to shove it into Barney’s face but he moves and Charlie presses his hand of glass into the side of Barney’s head and ear instead.
Barney cries out in pain while Charlie runs his hand and presses his weight down, carving the side of the head and parts of Barney’s ear very badly. Barney grabs a shard of glass and stabs it into the arm of Charlie who backs off and laughs while looking at his arm. He grabs the piece of glass sticking out of it and rips it loose, causing blood to pour out now. Barney tried to push himself up but now Charlie uses the shard of glass and jams it into one of Barney’s hands. He stands up and then stomps on the glass and hand while Barney screams in pain then laughs while rolling around holding his hand.
Heather: I don’t even know what to say anymore this is actually gross.
Pip: I’m not sure I’ve ever seen so much blood...
Charlie goes back to the wall and grabs a huge pane of glass from it while Barney gets to his feet, dripping with blood. With all the blood on his hands Charlie nearly drops the huge glass pane as it slips in his hands. He saves it before it drops but as he turns with it Barney suddenly jumps into him. He smashes into the glass and Charlie, sending them both to the ground in a pile of glass and blood. The crowd pops as they are both laid out for a moment. They both slowly start getting to their feet as the timer is running down.
7:29
Heather: Just past the halfway mark.
Pip: I do not do well with these matches that’s not soon enough!
Charlie hits a few jabs to the side of Barney’s head. Barney throws some wild punches in response and the two start teeing off on one another with blood flying everywhere. Charlie grabs Barney in a headlock and tries to pull him to the wall. Barney plants both feet suddenly and then hoists Charlie up. He stumbles back under the weight and they both fall backwards, crashing into one of the walls and smashing the glass all over. They both crawl to their knees and Charlie grabs a fistful of glass, headlocks Barney again and slams his hand into his face.
Barney tries to pull Charlie off but he rubs the glass all over Barney’s face, ripping his skin up in the process. Charlie gets back up and throws the glass at Barney as he tries to get up. Barney is holding his eyes and appears to have his good eye injured. Charlie starts laughing at him before grabbing one of the larger shards of glass. Charlie slowly stalks the blinded Barney brandishing the big piece of glass. Charlie walls up and raises the glass knife high for a death blow. Barney suddenly reveals it was the already bad eye that was damaged and stops Charlie from stabbing him, hooks him in and hits Foleyplex out of nowhere. He crawls on top of him for the cover.
1...
2...
THRE...NO!!! Kick out by Charlie!
Heather: Oh my god I thought that was it!
Pip: I was hoping that was it...I can’t do this anymore it’s too much blood!
5:11
Both men roll over, glass all over their bodies at this point. They slowly start to get up, blood smeared all over them, dripping off of them from multiple spots now. They both stand slowly, very woozy from the loss of blood. Charlie throws a cross that rocks Barney. He throws a punch back that stuns Charlie. They trade a few more blows, blood being thrown from each shot. Barney thrusts an elbow but Charlie grabs hold of him, pulls him up and then runs a few steps and drives Barney into another wall of glass panes with a modified Death Valley driver.
Barney smashes into the steel wall and glass so hard that they both bounce back and drop with Barney on top of Charlie. Barney grabs some glass and mushes it into Charlie’s face while going for a pinfall attempt. The fans cry out with cheers and even count along.
1...
2...
Kick out by Charlie!
Heather: Well Pip left so it’s just me I guess...time running out here for these two!
Barney scoops up more glass to rub in Charlie’s face but as he does so Charlie thrusts out a hand and jabs a small piece of glass into Barney’s throat. Barney slightly blocks it with his shoulder but it still leaves another big cut as Barney stumbles back. Charlie gets up as Barney looks at all the blood covering him, his legs wobbily and yet he smiles. Charlie looks unsteady but grabs hold of Barney from behind and tries to go for a German suplex. They’re way to close to one of the walls so as soon as Barney goes up he smashes into the glass panes and then falls on top of Charlie.
2:22
Barney is the first one up as Charlie is still down on his hands and knees. Barney shakes his head and blood flies off in all directions. He goes to pick Charlie up but Charlie instead stabs him just above the knee with a piece of glass. Barney let’s go and Charlie stabs another piece of glass into his other leg. Barney is hunched over with both legs stabbed as Charlie now grabs him and hits a big sidewalk slam on top of a pile of glass.
Charlie gets up and somehow starts using the spots on the steel wall that hold different glass panes to climb the wall. Charlie gets to the top of the steel wall and props himself there in a seated position. He looks down at Barney and flips him off before jumping off with his version of Barney’s Dreamaker trademark elbow drop. Charlie crashes down on top of Barney with a thunderous boom and the xtron below stops showing anything and turns off from the impact. The fans are screaming holy shit over and over again as neither man look alive at this point.
Heather: Oh my god!!! Charlie might have just killed Barney and possibly himself in the process! My god! The impact nearly broke through the giant xtron!
1:00
Charlie rolls over and slowly drags himself back up to his feet, pieces of glass falling off him in some spots while sticking in him in others. Barney is trying to somehow push himself back up but his entire body is shaking from blood loss. He crawls towards Charlie who is barely standing himself. Barney grabs Charlie and tries to pull himself up but Charlie drives his knee into Barney’s gut. He somehow hauls him up for a Steubenville Screwdriver but can barely support Barney once he’s in the air.
The clock is winding down as Charlie takes about three steps and then collapses with Barney, delivering his finisher right back in the giant pile of glass shards. The fans go beserk at the carnage of it all. Charlie, blood soaked and barely conscious, slowly rolls Barney over and makes a cover. HoloRef Dot Gif makes the count.
1...
2...
3!!!
Winner by pinfall, and stiiiiiiiiill Televsion Champion, Charliiiiiiiie Nickles!!!
Heather: He’s done it, the crazy son of a bitch has done it! Now where the hell did Pip go...
Charlie lifts his television championship high in the air, a prideful smile stretched across his lips. The camera zooms in on his blood and glass covered face as he holds the television championship against his cheeks. The champion collapses to his knees as he clutches his belt against his face, clearly exhausted from the hard fought battle.
PC: It wasn’t easy, but Charlie did it! He’s still the XWF television champion!
HHL: The Daddy of Violence lived up to his name, but it just wasn’t in the cards for him tonight!
PC: Charlie seems to have his division on lock! But just how long will his reign last? You can’t take very many matches like this in a career! The human body just can’t handle it!
HHL: All I know is that Charlie is walking out of Lambeau Field as the reigning television champion tonight!
The camera zooms out as a large buzzing sound is heard over Lambeau Field. A large blimp with BOB branding can be seen flying towards the X-tron!
PC: Holy crap! What’s that!
HHL: That looks like it’s BOB! What are they doing here?!
PC: I bet they’re coming out to get revenge for Barney! Charlie chose this match stipulation specifically to keep the rest of BOB out of the fray, but it looks like the Brotherhood has found another way in!
The blimp quickly makes its way towards the steel cage on top of the X-tron. Charlie steps to his feet, albiet slowly and with a few stumbles. The blimp hovers just in front of the steel cage. Through a large glass pane window on the blimp we can see Miss Fury staring Charlie down! Her brow is furrowed and she looks mighty pissed off. The two of them glare at each other for a few moments before Charlie starts barking at her, telling her to get in the ring so he can fight her!
PC: Charlie is looking for more action!
HHL: If he’s not careful, he just might get it!
As Charlie continues to jaw at Miss Fury from across the cage wall, we suddenly see two men hop out of the first class suites at Lambeau Field! The two men, one much larger than the other, are quickly falling to the ground!
PC: Oh my god! We have jumpers!
HHL: Suicides on our pay per view?! We have all the action here at the XWF!
The two men suddenly burst straight up and head towards the X-tron! As they come closer to the camera we can see that it is Bobby Bourbon and Thunder Knuckles on jetpacks!
HHL: Oh my god! That’s Them No Good Bastards!
PC: Charlie doesn’t even see them coming to the ring! He’s too distracted by Miss Furry’s loud ass blimp!
Bourbon and Knuckles propel themselves above the steel cage before descending down onto Charlie Nickles! Steaming towards Charlie on his jetpack, Thunder Knuckles kicks Charlie in the back of the head with both of his feet! Charlie drops the championship belt and goes flying face first into the steel cage! Charlie quickly falls on his ass as he’s propelled back by the force of the cage!
Bourbon and Knuckles land on their feet. Knuckles walks over to Charlie while Bobby goes to check on Barney Green. Bourbon helps Barney get to his feet as Thunder Knuckles grabs Charlie’s right heel. A devilish grin curls across Thunder’s lips.
HHL: No….he wouldn’t….
PC: Not against a defenseless man!
KNUCKLES HITS THE PATENTED THUNDER STRIKE! CHARLIE SCREAMS IN PAIN AS HIS RIGHT HEEL SLAMS AGAINST THE GLASS SHARDS STREWN ACROSS THE RING!
PC: THAT’S CRIMINAL!
HHL: THAT’S BADASS!
Thunder knuckles quickly rolls back to his feet. He looks down at Charlie, chuckling as the television champion rolls around on the ground in pain, clutching his right foot. Bourbon calls out at Knuckles and Knuckles nods. Thunder picks Charlie up by his hair, spitting a big fat loogey in his face before pushing him on the ropes and irish whipping him into a clothesline from Bobby Bourbon! Nickles slams to the mat, the back of his head and shoulders crunching the pieces of glass they fell upon.
PC: This is barbaric!
HHL: This is what the Brotherhood does! Mess with the bull, you get the horns!
Miss Fury laughs from inside the blimp as it elevates to a position above the steel cage. Bobby and Thunder wink at each other before Bobby picks Charlie up and tucks him between his legs. Bourbon lifts Charlie up into a powerbomb position before unloading him from his shoulders and sending him flying down towards the mat! Charlie reaches out desperately, as if he was trying to grab onto something! Bobby lets Charlie drop and Charlie’s body slams THROUGH the X-tron! The ripping of metal is heard as Charle’s body crashes into the innards of the X-tron!
HHL: BOBBYBOMB! BOBBYBOMB!
PC: HE SENT HIM THROUGH THE X-TRON!
Thunder Knuckles picks up the television belt. He looks at it for a few moments, clearly disgruntled by what the nameplate reads. A few bolts of electricity fly through the hole in the mat as the broken X-tron begins to short circuit. Thunder Knuckles tosses the television championship into the hole in the ring before he and Bourbon propel their jet packs into the air. Bobby grabs the injured Barney by the shoulders as the two men and the blimp fly off into the distance.
PC: THIS IS A HIT AND RUN! THIS IS VILE!
HHL: We need to get a maintenance man out here to fix the X-tron!
PC: Maintenance man?! Nickles needs medical attention!
HHL: I don’t think they’re going to be able to drag him out of there, Pip!
Felix Jones walks out to the ring as his entrance music plays. He approaches the glass wall facing the entrance with a cocky smile on his face. The referee positioned outside the ring opens up the glass door in the middle of the wall. Felix Jones ducks under the top rope and steps into the ring. He waits in the far left corner, posting up against the turnbuckle as he waits for everyone else to show up to the party.
RL Edgar walks steps out onto the entrance ramp amid a loud pop. His theme music blares throughout Lambeau Field, but it is momentarily drowned out by the cheers from the crowd. Edgar cracks his knuckles and cranks his neck to the side as he strolls down the entrance ramp. He hops up onto the ringside before ducking under the ropes and heading to the far right corner.
Arachnophilia hits the speakers and the lights dim to a purple hue. A spotlight hits the top of the stadium where Shawn is perched in a web. Strobes begin to flash and Shawn leaps towards the ring. A zip line carries him from the top of Lambeau Field till he is roughly ten feet in the air and drops from the the line into the center of the ring and blasts of Pyro go off from the four corners. The polished armor he wears engraved with spider webs glimmers in the light. He runs to the ropes climbing to the middle raising both hands in the air and Shouting Woooh! as a pyro curtain showers behind him. Half of the Stadium Erupts as the fans respond by raising both arms back and responding with a deafening Woooh! He then slides out of the ring and begins unequipping the armor in preparation for the match. High fiving several fans up against the barricade then sliding back into the ring and perching himself in a squat on the top rope and awaiting his opponents.
The entire stadium goes black as the song begins. Slowly, the X-Tron begins to show scarce, glowing embers, the light of each one illuminating smoke growing at the entrance of the ramp. As the song continues, more embers are seen until a large fire is displayed on the screen. The ramp then glows Ned's famous blue, revealing a silhouette in the smoke. Slowly stepping from the fog is none other than Notorious Ned Kaye. He stops for a moment, calming himself in front of the clamoring crowd. He lifts an arm, eyeing the stands to watch the many audience members who follow suit. With a single smile, he drops his arm and rushes towards the ring, slipping in from under the bottom rope, picking himself up immediately.
The referee stationed outside of the ring calls Ned Kaye back to the ropes and requests the championship belt. Ned Kaye looks at the championship belt. He says sweet words to it before reluctantly giving to the referee.
Glass Cage Match - Opponents are eliminated by being thrown through one of the glass sides of the cage
Warfare Rules
DING DING DING
The bell rings and the action pops off immediately. Edgar wastes no time charging at Wylde and Felix Jones heads straight for the champion! Before Ned can respond Felix hits him with a running forearm smash! Ned hits the ground and Felix is on top of him immediately, hitting him with right after right after right. Meanwhile, Shawn has rolled out of Edgar’s way! Edgar flies into the ropes before being pushed the other way by the force of the ropes. Shawn Wylde hits him with a dropkick that sends him flying to the ground!
Felix hits Ned with one more big right hand before stepping off of him and pulling Ned up by his hair. He pushes Ned against the ropes and attempts to irish whip him into the far corner, but Ned reverses it! Felix goes flying face first into the turnbuckle! Felix bounces off of the turnbuckle, turning around only to eat a superkick from the Hart champion Ned Kaye!
PC: That’s going to hurt in the morning!
HHL: OOOFT!
As Felix crashes to the ground Edgar pushes himself up to his feet just in time to to duck a clothesline from the Whyte Spyder. The Whyte Spyder runs past Edgar before catching himself on the ropes. Edgar and Wylde turn to face each other. Edgar makes a rude gesture at Shawn and derides him for wearing a cheap tracksuit. Shawn responds that his suit is actually very nice and designed to perfectly compliment his natural endowments as a wrestler. Edgar rolls his eyes before charging at Shawn! Edgar lashes out, and gets nothing but air! Shawn ducks to the side, back trotting a few paces as he teases Edgar for being too slow.
On the other side of the ring, Ned is stomping Felix’s lower back repeatedly. He ceases the stomping only to run to the ropes, turn around, and deliver a knee drop onto Felix’s back! Felix howls in pain as the champion’s right knee smashes his vertebrates. Ned grabs Felix by the head as he picks him up and sets him in the corner facing the crowd. Ned takes a few steps back before charging at Felix and smacking him upside the head with a reverse step-up enzuigiri! The crowd gasps as Felix falls out of the turnbuckle and drops to the floor, hitting every rope on the way down.
HHL: That’s why they call that man the champion!
PC: Felix needs to put up a defense if he wants to win this one! We’re still in the early going and the champion is just eating his lunch!
After a few bouts and bits of dodge and chase, Edgar has finally cornered Shawn Wylde against a turnbuckle. Edgar grins as he approaches the wily Wylde, but unfortunately for Edgar, he walks right into a spinning heel kick!
PC: Now R.L. EDGAR has just had his bell rung!
HHL: He’s seeing stars!
Edgar falls to the ground as Ned Kaye picks up Felix Jones once again. Felix is stumbling and practically unable to stand, but Ned picks him up and pushes him against the ropes! Felix comes stumbling back towards Ned only to eat a notorious knee! But before Felix can slump to the ground, Ned grabs hold of him by his clothing. Meanwhile, Shawn has ascended the top rope and looks set to dive down onto Edgar! As he reaches the top rope he stands tall before looking at the crowd and gesturing with his hands as if he is ‘raising the roof’. He follows that up with a clap. He repeats this motion a few times before the audience gets the idea and starts following along! The rhythm of thousands of people clapping on beat echoes throughout the stadium.
Content with the level of audience participation, Shawn goes back to a crouching position and prepares to dive onto edgar. Before he can execute the move, though, Ned chucks Felix Jones out of the ring, throwing him over the top rope and sending him crashing through the glass wall! The crowd oohs and aahs as the glass wall next to Shawn Wylde completely shatters! Bits of glass fly all over the ring and the black mats outside the ring. Felix falls to the ground and the referee goes to check on him. Shawn, meanwhile, has been thrown from the top rope by the sudden volatility! He lands groin-first on the top rope of the side of the ring suddenly missing a glass wall. Wylde hollers out in pain as he falls out of the ring, tumbling over the top and landing a few feet away from Felix Jones.
HHL: AND THERE GOES FELIX JONES!
Felix Jones Has Been Eliminated
PC: BUT I THINK SHAWN WYLDE IS STILL IN THIS MATCH! HE DIDN’T GET THROWN THROUGH A WALL, HE JUST FELL OVER THE TOP ROPE!
Ned gives a satisfied smile to the camera. He reviews the damage he’s done before walking over to Edgar. He picks the man up only to immediately lift him up and drop him back to the mat with a suplex! Both men immediately cringe and clutch their backs as glass shards from the shattered wall penetrate their flesh.
PC: I don’t think the champion thought that one through!
Shawn Wylde picks himself up by the apron of the ring. He takes a few moments to collect his breath and clutch his pearls before he slides into the ring under the bottom rope, taking care to avoid most of the glass shards. He steps to his feet to see two opponents on the ground, cringing in pain. Shawn runs against the rope he just came in under. He comes back around and delivers a double leg drop to the two men laying in a line on the ground! The legs of both men shoot up as Shawn’s calves and thick thighs land all over their faces and necks. Shawn picks himself up. He takes a few moments to bask in the cheers of the audience before running back to that same rope and doing the same thing, except fancier! Shawn does a few flips and a big jump at the end, so he actually delivers the leg drops facing the opposite way!
HHL: Now THAT is world-class athleticism!
PC: But will fancy jumping be enough to catapult him to the championship?
HHL: It’s looking pretty good for him so far!
Shawn lays down on his back, only to propel himself to his feet by jumping straight to his feet! The crowd is going nucking futs! And Shawn loves it! He heads to the rope one more time, this time delivering an EVEN MORE impressive jumpy flip. But this time, both Edgar and Ned move out of the way in time and Shawn lands flat on the ground, shards of glass sticking into his suit and scraping the skin underneath!
Both Ned and Edgar immediately lay into Shawn with kicks and stomps. Ned and Edgar are relentless, clearly not hoping about being upstaged in such theatrical fashion. Ned and Edgar deliver blow after blow to Shawn the old fashioned way. Then Edgar hits Ned square in the jaw with a firm right hand!
PC: Edgar is smart enough to know this isn’t a handicap match! Ned’s his opponent, too!
Edgar delivers two more right hands in quick succession, forcing Ned Kaye to stumble back against the ropes. Ned comes lurching forward after being pushed back by the ropes, only to be met with a running bulldog by R.L.! Edgar gets to his feet in a second. He pulls Ned by the hair, but in the process Ned sweeps Edgar’s legs out from underneath him! Nevertheless, Edgar scurries straight to his feet and is back up in a moment’s notice! Ned and Edgar stand face to face, looking each other up and down as the audience roars in the background.
PC: There’s a good chance one of these two men will be leaving Wisconsin as the champion!
HHL: Don’t count out the Whyte Spyder! They don’t call him Wildcard Wylde for no reason!
Edgar goes to punch Ned again, but this time the champion is expecting it! Edgar reaches right into an arm drag! Edgar and Ned both climb to their feet again and repeat the same procedure! This time, Ned doesn't let go of Edgar’s arm. He immediately locks in the submission and starts pulling back on R.L.’s arm as the challenger hollers out in pain.
PC: Ned is one of the most experienced mat technicians in the world. R.L. is out of his element here!
Ned continues to apply pressure on Edgar’s arm. Edgar is trying to fight out of the submission, but he just can’t seem to break free. Then, all of a sudden, Shawn comes flying off of the top rope and lands an awkward shooting star press on both of his competitors! All three men clutch their injuries as they roll away from each other.
PC: That’s not how your supposed to do top rope dives! You’re going to land on a stray elbow or knee when you just fly into carnage!
HHL: Pip, that’s the Whyte Spyder’s style!
PC: It’s going to get him out!
HHL: But it’s going to hurt his opponents more!
Shawn is the first one to his feet. He rests against the ropes for a few moments as he waits for the next man to rise. Edgar slowly climbs to his feet using the ropes from the side of the ring without a glass wall. Edgar is clutching his injured left arm as he tries to regain his breath. But he doesn't get the chance! Shawn charges at him and delivers a dropkick that sends Edgar flying over the ropes!
Ned is the last man up. He pulls himself to his feet using the ropes on the far side of the ring. He sees Shawn kick Edgar over the top rope. As Shawn lands on his belly after the successful drop kick, Ned sneaks across the ring and crouches down near Shawn. Right as Shawn pushes himself to his feet Ned grabs him and hits a standing sitout shiranui! Ned quickly climbs atop Shawn and starts delivering rights and lefts with the efficiency of a postal worker delivering your millions of mail-in ballots. Then, Ned shifts gears and locks in a headlock on Shawn! Before Shawn can even really struggle to break free of the submission, Ned has already manipulated Wylde’s body so that Ned can shift into a back mount of the struggling spyder. Now in the back mount position, Ned continues the onslaught of fists!
HHL: Ned’s a man on a mission!
PC: And that missions seems to be knocking Shawn Wylde out cold so that he can throw him through a glass wall!
While Wylde is trying to twist and turn his way out of this troublesome situation, Edgar is looking under the ring apron. He pulls out a crowbar from under the ring. He looks it, takes a few practice swings, then shrugs and slides under the ring. Edgar grins as Ned is keeps doing his business. As Edgar prepares to swing, Ned takes a quick glance at one of the larger pieces of shattered glass laying next to him. He sees Edgar’s reflection bringing the crowbar to it’s apex. Ned quickly gets out of town and hauls ass to the other side of the ring! Edgar brings his crowbar down onto the elevated back of Shawn Wylde! Shawn yelps as the metal crowbar smacks his lower back! Wylde’s body starts shaking and rolling. Edgar hits him a few more times with the crowbar, and soon Wylde’s body isn’t moving very fast at all!
PC: This is brutal! You’re not supposed to use weapons in a cage match!
HHL: Edgar thinks outside of the box, Pip! Your preconceived notions of a cage match can’t contain him!
R.L. Edgar looks over to Ned Kaye who is postured up near the turnbuckle. R.L. sprints over to the corner as Ned hops up onto the top rope. Edgar raises the crowbar and tries to smack Ned Kaye as he dives off of the top rope! Edgar misses! Ned Kaye hits him with a double stomp to the face from the top rope! Edgar falls to the ground clutching his bruised face. Ned grabs the crowbar and tosses it out of the ring. Ned slaps Edgar on the head a few times as he insults him for bringing foreign objects into the ring. Ned forces Edgar to his feet by his hair before only to sweep his legs out from underneath him! Ned follows the sweep up with a knee drop to the face!
HHL: The champion is looking to defend tonight!
PC: It’s safe to say he’s rebounded from that screwjob on Anarchy!
On the other side of the ring, Shawn is slowly stirring to his feet. He takes a few seconds to shake the cobwebs out of his head before he bullrushes Ned Kaye! Shawn Wylde charges face first into a bicycle kick from Ned Kaye! He falls to the mat and rolls away, but Ned stays with him, stomping him every step of the way! Ned picks Shawn up and throws him against the glass wall! Shawn rebounds off of the glass wall and falls back inside the ring!
PC: Wow, that wall looks a bit stronger than the one he threw Felix into!
HHL: Or is the champion getting gassed? He’s spent so long beating on the challenger, his energy might be drained!
Edgar climbs to his feet. He sees Ned once again preoccupied with Shawn. Edgar charges at Notorious Ned Kaye, hoping to make the most of the opportunity. It’s not in the cards! Ned crouches down and hits Edgar in the midsection with a spinning elbow before sweeping Edgar’s legs out from underneath him! Ned backs up a few paces as he surveys his work so far.
Edgar and Shawn each cough up a little bit of blood. Edgar spits his blood onto the ring, covering a few glass shards with scarlet. Shawn’s mask turns red around the mouth. The two men turn to look at each other. Shawn tells Edgar they should team up to take down the champion. Edgar takes a few moments before reluctantly agreeing. The two men climb to their feet in unison before they stare down the hart champion.
Ned tells the two men to bring it on! Shawn and Edgar charge at Ned and attempt to deliver a double clothesline, but Ned slips under it! Ned bounces off the ropes and comes back, hitting both Edgar and Shawn with a clothesline of his own! Both men go down. Ned wastes no time running to the other set of ropes before delivering a double stomp to Shawn’s midsection. He does a 360 flip off of Shawn and delivers another double stomp to Edgar’s midsection! Both Shawn and Edgar clutch their guts in pain. Ned runs off the ropes and delivers an elbow drop to Edgar! In what feels like a millisecond Ned pops to his feet again and runs off another rope before delivering an elbow drop to Shawn Wylde!
HHL: Ned Kaye is absolutely unhinged right now! He’s on fire!
PC: THIS! This is why he’s notorious! He’s going to retain! I’m calling it now! Ned’s reign as Hart champion is the fifteenth longest of all time. If he wins this match, his reign will jump up to tenth longest! That will knock Bourbon’s first reign back to eleventh longest of all time, meaning not only did Ned take the belt from Bourbon, but he will have knocked him off the leaderboards!
HHL: Shut up, nerd. Just watch the match!
Ned Kaye pops back up to thunderous applause from the fans in attendance. The crowd chants his name as he pushes his sweaty hair out of his eyes. Ned bends over, putting his hands on his knees, clearly gassed from the outrageous outburst. Edgar and Shawn begin to stir, slowly coming to by blinking their eyes and moving their fingers. The two injured men start to climb to their feet. Ned takes a few moments to notice, but when he does, he punts Shawn Wylde’s midsection! Wylde goes flying from the contact, jumping a few feet away from the force. But Edgar has gotten to his feet! He locks in a rear chokehold on Ned Kaye!
PC: They’re playing the numbers game!
HHL: That’s a good game to play!
Edgar keeps the chokehold locked on tight, but Ned Kaye frees himself by delivering elbow after elbow to Edgar’s ribs. Edgar is forced to take a few steps back, but by now Shawn has climbed to his feet! Wylde charges at Kaye just as Ned is turning to face Edgar. Shawn hits the unsuspecting champion with a belly to back wheelbarrow facebuster! Ned’s body pops off the ground momentarily after making initial contact with the mat. As Ned’s face is slightly elevated off the ground, Edgar hits him square in the jaw with a boot to the face! Blood starts pouring out of Ned’s mouth and nose as he falls back on the mat, crashing onto dozens of shards of glass. R.L. Edgar stomps Ned’s face into the mat once more for good measure. Shawn stomps on the champion’s midsection precisely three times.
R.L. Edgar and Shawn Wylde lift the champion to his feet. Edgar and Wylde come together and each place one of Ned’s arms over their shoulders. They each grab a piece of Ned’s tights before backing up against one of the glass walls and suplexing him through it! The glass shatters as Notorious Ned Kaye flies out of the ring!
PC: Oh my god!
HHL: Ha! So much for your predictions, Pip! You cursed the guy!
Ned Kaye has been eliminated
Wylde immediately turns around and hits Edgar with a step up enzuigiri! Edgar takes a few steps back before flying off the ropes and hitting Shawn Wylde with a diving forearm! The two men tumble to the mat before quickly ascending to their feet. Edgar lashes out with a jab followed by a right haymaker, but wiley Wylde ducks and dodges before sending a few jabs to R.L. 's midsection followed by an elbow to the face. Edgar takes a few steps back before being hit with a spinning heel kick that collapses him to the ground. He lands on a pile of shattered glass. Shawn takes a few steps back before raising the roof and gesturing for the fans to get loud.
HHL: This guy is a simp for the audience. He needs to focus less on entrances and theatrics, and more on getting the job done!
PC: What are you talking about Heather? Who taught you the word simp? You’re not even using it right! Shawn could have his way with each and every person in the audience right now…..they’re absolutely loving this!
The Whyte Spyder trots around in a circle as he basks in the praise from the audience. Edgar pulls himself into a corner, sitting up against the turnbuckle as he tries to catch his breath. Edgar rests his bruised head against a glass wall as he clutches his midsection with his right arm. His left arm lays loosely at his side. Edgar squeezes his left hand as he tries to numb the pain still shooting through his arm from Ned’s antics earlier in the match. Shawn Wylde continues to circle around before charging towards Edgar and hitting him with a running dropkick! Edgar’s skull bashes against the wall, shattering the glass! Edgar’s head bounces off the wall. The momentum forces Edgar to roll further inside the ring.
Shawn pulls himself to his feet using the nearby ropes. He takes a step and his leg immediately buckles. He catches himself on the second rope. He limps over to the ropes, grabbing the rop rope and resting against it. The White Spider inspects his left leg. He rubs his hand gently over the skin covering his medial collateral ligament. He shakes his head as he tries walking again. He has slightly more luck, but is clearly limping as he makes his way towards Edgar with assistance from the top rope.
PC: I think Shawn might’ve landed awkwardly!
HHL: That’s what all those antics get you!
Edgar shakes to as Shawn approaches him. Shawn reaches down to grab Edgar, but R.L. charlie horses him hard as fuck! The Whyte Spyder nearly collapses to the ground, only holding himself up with his loose grip on the top rope. Edgar pops to his feet while simultaneously uppercutting Wylde. Shawn sinks to the ground as he loses hold of the ropes. Edgar shouts at Shawn, making fun of his leg injury before delivering a few stomps to Shawn’s newly injured left leg. Edgar takes his feet and brings them up Shawn’s body, covering each and every inch of the Whyte Spyder’s suit with scuff marks from his boots. He picks Shawn Wylde up and drags him to the center of the ring. R.L. cracks a joke at Shawn’s expense before hitting him with a perfectly executed snap gut-wrench piledriver.
PC: The Check Ya’ Neck!
HHL: That might be lights out!
Edgar slowly rolls over and pushes himself back up to his feet. He picks Shawn up again. Edgar punches him in the gut and delivers another gut-wrench piledriver.
PC: He’s trying to finish him off!
HHL: He’s already finished off! All he’s got to do is throw him through the wall!
Edgar takes a deep breath as he lands on a pile of glass shards. The shattered glass tears his clothes up and cuts his skin. Edgar takes a few moments before rolling over to his stomach and pushing himself to his feet, not minding the shards of glass cutting into his hands. Edgar takes a deep breath before picking Shawn Wylde up once again. He holds the Whyte Spyder up by the chin and looks deep into his eyes. R.L. Edgar slaps Shawn before grabbing him by the neck and throwing him through the final glass wall.
Winner and NEW XWF HART CHAMPION - RL EDGAR
As the camera fades into focus we get a flying shot of the ring and ringside area. The snowfall continues to blizzard its way into Lambeau Field, covering back up the random splatters of blood and violent looking “Snow Angels” created throughout the night.
The camera slowly zooms in on the upcoming subjects of this match that are symmetrically assorted and littering ringside all the way up the ram and across the stage in front of the XTron:
Pip Collins: Tables! Ladders! Chairs!
The camera pans back to the announce table where we see Pip Collins and Heather Halliwell bundled tightly under their suitably warm clothing,
Pip Collins: Ladies and Gentlemen! I know we say this a lot in this industry, but trust Heather and me when we tell you that this has to be one of the most anticipated matches in the history of the XWF!
Heather nods her head while Pip is talking,
Heather: Pip it really doesn’t get much bigger than this! We have former Universal Champions, future Hall-of-Famers, and some of the hungriest, most impressive newcomers in the wrestling game today all vying for the chance to become Tag Team Champions!
Pip Collins: That’s why the XWF is the top brand in all of professional wrestling, folks! Where else are you going to find some of the biggest legends in the industry today squaring off and it not be the main event?!
On the Xtron we see the telltale B.O.B. logo, and Love Spreads cuts throughout the arena like a chainsaw. The letters disassemble and form the sentence "Bet On Bastards" on the tron, which fades to show Them No Good Bastards.
Thunder Knuckles walks out onto the entrance ramp, hyped and ready to fight, pointing out into the crowd before grabbing one of the chairs staged on the ramp and slapping it a few times into the snow a few times.
Behind him, Bobby Bourbon deliberately walks out and stops, also pointing out into the crowd before snatching up a table and tucking it under his arm. Both men glance at each other and bump fists, then in unison point into the ring. The crowd chants.
*NO GOOD BASTARDS!*NO GOOD BASTARDS!*NO GOOD BASTARDS!*
TIG: THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS A TABLES, LADDERS AND CHAIRS MATCH SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL!
AND IS FOR!
THE XWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS!
INTRODUCING FIRST! AT A COMBINED WEIGHT OF FIVE-HUNDERED-FIFTY POUNDS!
THUNDER KNUCKLES!
BOBBY BOURBON!
THEM NOOOOOOOOOO GOOD BAAAAASTARDS!
TK throws the chair over the top rope and slides into the ring and gets up onto a knee, beckoning the crowd as Bobby who set the table into position at ringside, climbs the steps and enters the ring behind him. TK stands and appeals to the crowd as Bobby raises his arms at 45 degree angles.
Pip Collins: Not a lot of theatrics tonight from our first challengers!
Heather Halliwell: Not at all, Pip! Them No Good Bastards look to be all business tonight!
The lights dim down to near blackness and hold that way as the Left Hand symbol appears on the X-Tron. The lights turn to red and start to flicker as “Zero Signal” by Fear Factory hits the loudspeakers. Lycana steps leisurely out onto the stage as smoke billows out all around her. She raises her arms slowly to a chorus of boos. Marf’s outline dimly appears behind her, a looming shadow through the smoke, as he steps out to tower behind her.
The boos and jeers increase in volume.
The duo ignore it completely, looking to one another with a smirk before steadily making their way down the ramp.
TIG: INTRODUCING NEXT!
AT A COMBINED WEIGHT OF THREE-HUNDRED-SIXTY-ONE POUNDS!
LYCANA!
MARF!
THE DISSENTIEEEEEEEEEENTS!
Determination on their faces as red and purple pyros shoot off behind them They both hop onto the apron, Marf allowing Lycana to hop over the top rope before he steps through himself. They stand firmly together
Pip Collins: Heather, I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen a Tag Team rise up so quickly through the ranks in this business before. Lycana and Marf look poised and ready to shock the world tonight! Looking to further establish The Left Hand as a true force to be reckoned with in the XWF!
Heather Halliwell:These two, on paper, would be considered the underdogs, but Marf and Lycana are just as bit as capable of pulling off the win here tonight! Make no mistake about it, they’ve got their work cut out for them, but I believe their strategy should be simple, they must “out-violence” their opponents.
The arena is pitch black and the opening tunes to Lux’s former theme, “We Appreciate Power” begin. But as the song starts to pick up in intensity, down in the entryway, you see a Jericho-esque light up jacket glow brilliantly. Then, twin explosions emit from either side of the ramp and the lights turn on in a swirling red and blue pattern that throb in sync with the beats of the song. Corey comes down the ramp, dragging one half of the tag team championships in the snow, the jacket now flashing intermittent heart and lightning bolt patterns.
But the arena goes dark again, all but for Corey’s jacket and a red mist that begins to fill the arena.
TIG: AND THEIR OPPONENTS!
AT A COMBINED WEIGHT OF THREE-HUNDRED-EIGHTY-TWO POUNDS
THEY ARE THE XWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!
COREY SMITH!
DOCTOR LOUIS D’VILLE!
CONTINUUM!!!!!!!!!!
Through the mist, appears Doctor Louis D'VIlle, wearing his Tag Championship around his waist. He marches past Corey, bumping his partner’s shoulder and causing Smith to drop his share of the Tag Championship in the snow. Looking a little frustrated, Corey scoops the belt from the ground and follows D’Ville to the ring.
Pip Collins: Heather, as you see this highly decorated, highly dangerous duo make their way to the ring, what thoughts do you have?
Heather Halliwell: Pip, I’m not buying the whole “odd couple” pairing for Crey Smith and D’Ville being too big of an issue tonight. As you stated they are two legends in the industry, and if anything, Smith has had more than a fair share of working with different people in tag teams.
Pip Collins: That’s right, Heather. He paired with Dolly Waters AND R.L. Edgar in recent weeks, and in both instances found a way to win. But you do have to admit that there appears to be some tension between the two of them.
Heather Halliwell: Look, Freebird rules are always a strain on teams. But these two? D’Ville and Smith? This is like a fantasy pairing! I fully expect them to put aside any differences and be all business tonight!
Doc picks a turnbuckle and stands on the second ropes as the red strobe lights flash and smoke rises from under the ring raising his title in the air. Corey gets on the ring apron, throwing his arms over the top rope as the jacket keeps flashing. He looks pumped as hell, and starts pointing out at the fans before rushing to the top rope opposite of Doc, surveying the crowd from on high, before dropping down to the canvas and handing off his jacket. He paces the ring now, waiting for the match to begin as the music and lighting effects wind down.
The trio of teams each hover around a respective corner as an XWF crew hits the ring and shovels out any extra accumulation from the snow. D'Ville and Smith hand the belts off to Chaz Bobo who takes them center-ring and holds them in the air.
Pip Collins: This is it, folks! We're about to find out which of these three teams can overcome the tables, the ladders, the chars, and the weather here at Snow Job!
Match # 9
XWF TAG TEAM TITLES MATCH
"The Dissentients"
Marf and Lycana
- vs -
Robbie Bourbon and Thunder Knuckles
- vs - Doctor Louis D'Ville and Corey Smith
Tables, Ladders and Chairs Match - One Fall
Warfare Rules
Just as the bell rings the blizzard appears to intensify, almost waiting out the cameras. Thunder Knuckles slams his chair into the mat, and Bobby let's off a confident roar towards the champions as each team nods in and away from one another. Marf grabs Lycana by the shoulder and whispers something into her ear, just before the two quickly roll out of the ring causing the fans to boo.
Pip Collins: Look at this, Heather! The Dissentients seem willing to let Continuum and Them No Good Bastards tear each other apart first!
Heather Halliwell: Oh look! There's more to it than that, Pip! It looks like I called their "out-violence" strategy correctly!
Marf and Lycana begin to tossing chairs into the ring and setting up tables and ladders all around the floor, while on the inside T.N.G.B and Continuum rush one another. Thunder Knuckles swings wildly with the chair at Corey's skull, but the nimble Smith is able to duck, countering with an impressive roundhouse kick that sends TK slipping on the wet mat a bit as he drops the chair.
Doc and Bourbon instantly grab to one another's throats and begin exchanging blunt fight handed fists to one another's head. Bobby is amped and overpowers Doc, raking the Good Doctor's eyes and snapping him to the mat with a double under hook suplex.
Just as Bourbon releases there's Smith! He leaps over Doc's body and dives at Bourbon, connecting with a spinning backfist. But the attack only causes bobby to stumble as the big man recovers quickly and grapples Smith up, wrapping the much smaller man with a devastating Oklahoma-positioned bearhug.
Bourbon roars out and takes off charging with Smith still wrapped in a bearhug and smashes him into the turnbuckle.
Heather Halliwell: UH OH, PIP! THIS IS HONESTLY BRUTAL!
Bobby turns to slam Smith back into the canvass, but he's caught right in the side of the skull with a chair from D'Ville! Bourbon still doesn't go down! He staggers there as D'Ville swings for his head again! But Thunder Knuckles has recovered and superkicks the chair back into D'Ville's face! He charges the falling D'Ville but Smith is up and intercepts him with a surprise throat punch!
TK gasps for air and collapses on his rear in the corner, but Smith isn't giving him any time to recover as he runs to the opposite corner and at full speed charges TK with a sliding dropkick!
BUT TK ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY JUST IN TIME!
Corey's legs split into the steel post and out of nowhere, there's Lycana on the outside of the ring! Lycana grabs Corey's left leg and sends his knee thrashing into the steel post and-
Pip Collins: OH MY GOODNESS!
Marf follows up the attack to Corey's knee by slamming a steel chair on it as Smith shouts out in pain. Twisted smiles make their way across the Dissentient's faces as they pull Corey out of the corner and onto the floor. Marf scoops Smith up and sneers at the booing fans before swinging back and releasing Smith with a devastating fall away slam into a pile of standing tables, ladders, and chairs that they've been assembling outside.
Smith's body ravages against the metal and wood like a car crash victim.
On the inside of the ring, Bourbon has cleared the cobwebs from Doc's chair shot, and TK has finally caught his breath from the throat punch. The two look at one another and then eye Louis D'Ville who is finally making it back to his feet. D'Ville looks at the two men and smiles, spitting a gob of blood onto the snowy canvas.
Bobby and TK nod at one another and both rush D'Ville with a flurry of punches. D'Ville puts his arms up and starts blocking as many punches as he can, he even sends an ugly palm shot right into Bourbons nose that causes the big man's eyes to water, but the onslaught is too much.
TK grabs D'Ville by the arm and whips him violently into the corner, and quickly Bourbon grabs TK and whips him toward the still running D'Ville. Just as the Doctor hits the turnbuckle, TK is there connecting with a powerful knee lift! TK drops out of the way as Bourbon now comes rushing Doc with a crushing lariat!
Heather Halliwell: DEADLY SINS! What a devastating combo! And it isn't over yet!
TK takes his turn again with another knee lift, this one splitting Doc's mouth wide open now, and here comes Bourbon with an elbow! OH! But Doc somehow ducks and begins teeing off on Bourbons gut with some vicious hooks and jobs. Bourbon bends away and TK comes running back to his partner's aide, but the bloodied Doc is quick and moves up with an elbow that catches TK on the nose just as he gets close.
Doc grabs Bourbon by the tights, and while struggling a bit he still manages to hurl the big man out of the front of the ring and then turns his sights on TK.
Outside of the ring, Lycana and Marf have been taking turns teeing off on the ravaged knee of Corey Smith with chair shots as the young warrior lays mangled between several collapsed ladders and broken tables.
Pip Collins: Heather I don't know how in the world Smith is going to even be able to stand after this attack!
Heather Halliwell: You're not kidding, Pip! And it looks like things are about to get worse for him!
Marf sets up another table just below the ring apron and slings Smith's light frame across it. Lycana laughs wildly and kisses Corey on the cheek before climbing up on the ring apron and stepping as far back from Marf and Corey as possible. The blue haired vixen takes off running and leaps into the air with a shooting star press leg drop right over Corey's throat as he smashes through the table.
Back in the ring, after connecting with a brutal diving headbutt, D'Ville has TK pinned down by his shoulders with his teeth sunk into that no good bastard's neck. TK kicks his legs around wildly, screaming and doing everything he can to break the animal-like attack of D''Ville. As Doc tears back and shreds TK's neck with his teeth, Thunder sees an opening and jams a thumb right in D'Ville's only "good eye", but Doc doesn't release him!
TK pushes deeper, determined to permanently blind Doc as D'Ville lets out a horrible growl. TK has broken the hold, revealing a crimson stain covering the side of his neck. He rushes D'Ville with a charge of speed and force I don't think we've ever seen from him as chest checks D'Ville into the corner. TK plays to the crowd and shouts just before taking off running plowing his knees right underneath Doc's chin.
TK is spent and falls backwards into the ring as Doc falls out underneath of the ropes and takes a snow cushioned spill onto the floor.
Lycana and Marf pick Smith up from the broken wood and again they start teeing off on him, taking turns with knees to his gut and punches to his head. Marf tucks the staggering Smith under his arm and drops him into the snow with a DDT, before he and Lycana pick him up again and roll him into the ring.
Marf stands in-between the recovering Thunder Knuckles as Lycana sexually slides her body over Corey's for the pin fall.
1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NO! SMITH KICKS OUT!
Pip Collins: Unbelievable the heart of this kid, Heather! And he displays this week in and week out!
Marf hearing the three-count stopped short turns around in shock and goes to help Lycana finish the job on Smith. But from the outside Bourbon as reentered the ring, a ladder in tow!
Bourbon charges Marf from behind and smashes the ladder into the back of his head. Marf doesn't fall all the way over though and catches himself. He turns around just in time to grab ahold of the ladder has Bourbon charges in with it again. The two grapple over the ladder for a moment before Marf pulls Bobby and the ladder in close enough for him to connect with a clean headbutt to Bourbon.
Bourbon eats the head butt like a champ, holds onto the ladder, and finally overpowers Marf as he runs smashes his psychotic foe into the turnbuckle.
On the other side of the ring, Lycana has stood Corey Smith on top of the turnbuckle. She stands next to him and wraps her arm around his head.
Pip Collins: Lycana has Smith setup for Metamorphosis! This could be it, folks! New tag team champions!
But Smith sends a stiff elbow right to Lycana's nose, busting her wide open! As the blood spews, Lycana lets out a laugh! She loves the pain, especially pain inflicted by Corey. But Smith pays no mid to the sicko. He grabs her by the hair and begins slamming repeated forearm strikes to her face.
Back on the other side of the ring, Bobby Bourbon has taken the ladder and rammed it top first right into Marf's stomach, and as Marf stumbles out of the corner Bobby drops the ladder and...
"SHORYUKEN!!!" yells the big man as he dives with a spinning uppercut that sends Marf hurling over the top rope and crashing through a table that was set up the floor.
Just as that's happening Smith connects with another surprise throat punch, this time to Lycana, that sends her dangling upside down from the turnbuckle, and just as her head whips off of the mat, Thunder Knuckles connects from out of nowhere with double knees to Lycana's head. She crumbles to the mat as TK hooks her leg,
Pip Collins: OH MY GOD! THAT MIGHT HAVE KNOCKED LYCANA UNCONCIOUS!
NO! Corey Smith hurls himself from the top rope with a diving shoulder tackle, breaking up the fall, but before anything can materialize from it, a pissed off Bobby Bourbon slings Corey away from Thunder Knuckles which causes Corey to land awkwardly on his softened-up knee.
Bourbon charges at Smith, leaping into the air and crashing down on the smaller man with a smothering senton drop. Bourbon covers Smith.
Frustrated, Bobby yanks Corey up and sends him right back down into the canvas with the Earth's Mightiest Chokeslam! Rather than covering Corey this time he picks up the ladder that he was beating Marf with and proceeds to opens it upright in front of the turnbuckle.
ThunderKnuckles, after dumping Lycana back out to the floor follows along and starts pulling more weapons from under the snow. He slides two tables a chair and another ladder under the bottom rope.
Heather Halliwell: It's pretty clear to see that those no-good bastards function great as a team! This is twice now they've had one-half of the tag champions in the ring two-to-one.
Pip Collins: No doubt about that, Heather! And it looks like ThunderKnuckles is getting he and his partner set up to cause some serious damage to Corey Smith!
Thunder has set up a second ladder near the ladder that Bourbon setup and he's also unfolded a table between the two. Bourbon lifts Corey back up dragging him by the hair as TK and Bobby pass one another giving a quick "too sweet" finger tap. TK climbs about halfway up the ladder near the turnbuckle, and just as Bobby lifts and thrashes Corey's back down across his knee, TK leaps from the ladder.
Pip Collins: LUNCH MONEY FROM THE LADDER!
TK's knee smashes Corey's head into the mat! This is one has got to be over!
Bourbon goes to pin Smith.
Heather Halliwell: Pip! Look!
Out of nowhere, Lycana springboards from the ropes and catches Bobby with a diving huricanrana!
Outside of the ring, Marf is finally beginning to stir. He gets to his hands and knees when suddenly a boot appears just by his hands.
Oh, pardon me. Where ARE my manners?
Doc jerks Marf up to his feet but is quickly met with a strong shove from the challenger.
I've been waiting a long time for this old man!
Doc smiles just before the two start trading punishing blows to one another. Doc's footing is lost a bit in the snow and Marf takes full advantage, spearing D'Ville into a table and a ladder that was positioned against the corner barricade. The two begin mauling one another on the floor.
Doc rolls over onto Marf and sends the point of his elbow directly into Marf's forehead, splitting him open as blood flings across the snowy floor. Doc sends another elbow, but just as he does, Marf is able to lift his knee right into Doc's crotch, causing D'Ville to gasp for air as he rolls to his side.
Marf starts pummeling Doc's face with a series of violent closed fisted punches. We can see Doc's face swelling and turning different colors right before our very eyes.
Back in the ring Lycana has neutralized Bourbon and is now flipping ThunderKnuckles onto his head with a Frankenstiener. Before she goes for the cover, she notices Corey Smith hobbling up to his legs in the corner. Lycana grabs a chair and charges him, but Corey ducks sending LYcana vaulting over his back and over the ropes. But Lycana has great balance, she catches herself on the apron and swings wildly with the chair, Corey spins out of the way and connects with Face Pain De-Lux from over the ropes! Lycana flies from the apron and lands awkwardly on a ladder with a sickening thud.
Back outside of the ring, Doctor D'Ville and Marf continue to brutalize one another. With Marf still on top of him, Doc has pulled his foe into a guillotine chokehold and has his teeth sunk into to the top of Marf's skull. Marf swings hiss arms about, trying to feel for something to help him even the odds. Finally, he feels a broken rung from a ladder and rips the piece of metal the rest of the way off of its frame before impaling Doc in his side with it. Marf laughs wildly as Doc breaks the hold, the XWF Legend's face turning pale and in shock. Marf rips the ladder rung back out of Doc and impales him again with it as all of the snow beneath Doc begins to run red.
Pip Collins: Goddamnit this is sickening! This has gotten out of hand!
Heather Halliwell: Pip, I think the good doctor is bleeding out!
Back in the ring, Corey has limped his way over to the ladder near the turnbuckle, climbing to the top, he has Mark outside of the ring, beating D'Ville lifeless, right in his sights. But the ladder begins to rumble, Corey turns around to find the Bobby Bourbon is up and climbing the opposite side. Corey turns and braces for combat. Bobby swings wildly with a haymaker, but Corey perries and sends a stinging chop into Bourbon's chest. Followed by a punch, and another punch, and a forearm, and another chop, and an elbow, and Bobby is reeling!
Heather Halliwell: Is there any doubt that Corey Smith is the best pure-striker in the XWF today?!
Just as it appears that Bourbon is falling backward, there's a sudden burst and he powers through, catching Corey off guard and slamming Smith's head into the top of the ladder!
Pip Collins: Well Bobby Bourbon might have the biggest heart in the XWF today!
Bourbon capitalizes, tucking Corey's head under his arm and lifting him up above the top of the ladder in a hanging suplex. With Smith suspended in midair, ThunderKnuckles stirred up and begins climbing the ladder next to Bourbon and Corey. Bobby falls back with the suplex sending him and Smith plummeting towards the table positioned below them and as they fall ThunderKnuckles leaps towards them, catching Corey's leg with a Thunderstrike DDT.
Pip and Heather: HOLYSHIT!
TK's Thunderstrike DDT from Bobby's verticle superplex sends all three men crashing through the table.
Pip Collins: RAINBOW LASER DEATH SEQUENCE!
From sheer exhaustion, Marf has collapsed on top of the unconscious Doc outside of the ring. The carnage in and around the ring is indescribable.
Somehow, ThunderKnuckles is able to drag an arm over Corey's shoulders.
NO! THUNDERKNUCKLES' LIMP ARM SLID BACK OFF FROM COREY'S CHEST!
TK is completely knocked out, but Corey and Bourbon begin to stir. Smith drags his way over to the ropes and pulls himself up on one leg. He looks over across the ring to see Bourbon wobbling up to his feet. The two lock eyes. They scowl at one another. Corey beats on his bad leg with his fist and kicks it into the mat, straightening himself out. Bourbon pulls the straps of his leotard off from his shoulds and bands his fist into his chest. The two approach one another.
Smith connects with a roundhouse!
Bobby hangs tough and returns a headbutt!
Corey recovers quickly and punches Bobby in the mouth!
Bobby punches right back!
The two start exchanging fists at a furious rate. Bobby stumbles backward! Corey sizes him up! Looks like he's thinking Face Pain De-Lux!
Lycana hits the ring from one side with a chair!
Marf hits the ring from the other side with a chair!
Both running full speed, they start sliding in the sloshy blood-drenched snow!
LYCANA LEVELS SMITH!
MARF NEARLY DECAPITATES BOURBON!
Lycana and Marf both fall over as the seats of their chairs burst out, leaving only the chair frames dangling around Smith and Bourbon's necks. The two stand there for a moment out on their feet, but never breaking eye contact with one another as they both collapse in a heap.
Pip Collins: THAT'S IT! THAT'S IT! WE HAVE NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!
Heather Halliwell: Wait a minute, Pip! Look!
Chaz Bobo is waving the pin off, pointing at Corey Smith's shoulder which popped up just as Bob's hand hit the mat for the third time. Marf turns around to face the referee with disgust, slapping his hand three times as if to indicate that he got the fall over Bourbon. But Chaz doesn't back down.
Pip Collins: Head Referee Bobo is right, Heather! Technically Lycana pinned Corey Smith first! That was the pin that Bobo was counting!
Heather Halliwell: Well Marf is absolutely incensed! He believes they should have won!
Pip Collins: But it's not a technicality! The Dessintents pinned the wrong guy first!
Marf barrels down on the referee, he's about to kill Chaz Bobo. The crowd roars with fierce and wild applause and there's a sudden clank near Marf's foot.
He looks down to find a blood-stained broken ladder rung.
Marf turns around...
Send my regards to your boss.
LOBOTOMY!!!!!!
D'Ville mangles Marf's neck directly onto a chair with the spinning falcon arrow!
Winners and STILL XWF Tag Team Champions - Doctor Louis D'Ville and Corey Smith
The smoke fills up with red on the stage, as the arena lights flickers. Then once we see "The Rebellious One" on the X-Tron, then we hear the voice of Bone Thugs and Reggie walks down to song. Then we see him with walking down the ramp, and stop at the camera gives it the finger. Then he rolls into the ring, and goes to the top rope and poses while the crowd mostly boos. His music cuts off as he jumps down from the turnbuckle. He turns and stops, noticing that Alias is now sitting cross legged in the other corner. He waves his bandaged hand while Estrada hands the ref his belt.
Heather: What a build up we’ve seen for these two men over the past few weeks especially.
Pip: Reggie has shown an iron grip on that title but Alias has been relentless to get this match finally.
Heather: Looks like we’re ready to go with this showdown.
Alias stands up as Estrada begins to approach him. They lock up and Estrada applies a wrist lock on the bandaged hand. Alias head butts him to break the hold. He laughs as Estrada looks at him unimpressed. They lock up again and Estrada goes to a behind the back tie up. Alias snaps his head back and cracks it into Estrada’s forehead, once again breaking the hold. They go for another lock up but Estrada lifts a knee into the gut of Alias. He takes him down with an arm drag but Alias doesn’t pop back up.
Estrada looks over at him just lying there before Alias slinks backwards and exits the ring under the ropes. He then goes under the ring while Estrada exits the ring to find him. Estrada goes under the ring for a moment to look but then a scream is heard and he comes stumbling back out. Estrada runs over and lifts the steel steps up. Alias comes crawling out from under the ring now with what appears to be a cattle prod. Estrada throws the steel steps at him and Alias rolls out of the way. Sadly the cattle prod gets smashed.
Alias immediately pops up, runs and uses the steps to jump off of and clotheslines Estrada to the ground. He side mounts him and starts pounding on him with punches and hammer fists while Estrada mostly blocks it with his forearms. Alias gets up and as soon as Estrada tries to get up Alias grabs his head and slams him off the edge of the ring. Estrada backs up and then tries to shove Alias away but Alias grabs him and monkey flips him. Estrada lands back first onto the steel steps.
Heather: Alias coming with a fury of offense to start off.
Pip: Yeah he was quick to get this one outside the ring.
Alias pulls Estrada off the steps and whips him into the barrier. Estrada hops over the barrier into the crowd instead. Alias runs and dives after him but Estrada turns and catches him with a big forearm to the face, knocking him to the floor before getting over the barrier. Estrada turns and shoves a fan over before stealing their chair. He hops back over the barrier and swings the chair at Alias, cracking him across the back. Alias spits at him and asks for another so Estrada obliges with another chair shot over the back. Estrada goes for one more but Alias catches him with a drop toe hold. Estrada falls forward with the chair and slams into the steps. Alias rolls him up.
1...
2...
Kick out by Estrada!
Heather: Alias trying to catch Estrada off guard there.
Pip: The toys are starting to come out now.
Alias gets up and takes another look under the ring. He pulls out a kendo stick but tosses it aside. Then he pulls out a red, metal tool box. He seems satisfied and turns back. Estrada surprises him by lunging forward with a running knee, driving the tool box into Alias’ face. It bursts open, spilling tools all around them as Alias drops to the floor. Estrada goes for the cover.
1...
2...
Kick out by Alias!
Both men scramble up to their feet and grab the kendo stick from each end at the same time. They start to have a tug of war but Alias simply let’s go. Estrada falls over backwards from this. Alias picks up a random monkey wrench as Estrada gets up with the kendo stick clenched in his hands. He takes a swing at Alias but misses as Alias ducks under and cracks the monkey wrench off of Estrada’s knee, causing him to howl in pain. Alias grabs hold of the kendo stick and then uses it to assist in a Russian leg sweep. He pins Estrada with the kendo stick on him too.
1...
2...
Kick out by Estrada!
Heather: Unique way to do a move and pin attempt there.
Pip: You know in all my years I’ve...
Heather: Shut up that wasn’t a segway for you to talk about yourself.
Pip: Oh...mean.
Alias gets up and grabs hold of the kendo stick now. Estrada pulls himself up with the ring post but then dives out of the way as Alias swings the kendo stick. It breaks in half when it cracks off the ring post. Alias drops his piece and shakes his bandaged hand in pain from the impact. Estrada catches him by surprise with a quick swinging neck breaker on the hard floor. He goes for a pin.
1...
2...
Kick out by Alias!
Estrada rolls over and reaches under the ring now. He pulls out a 2005 Casio keyboard deluxe. As Alias gets up Estrada slams the big keyboard down, across his back. Alias drops again while Estrada slides the keyboard into the ring. He rolls back into the ring and sets the keyboard up in the corner while Alias pulls himself up. Estrada runs over and hits a baseball slide to knock Alias down once again. Estrada exits the ring and grabs Alias back up. He rolls him into the ring and gets back inside.
Estrada gets up and attempts to Irish whip Alias into the corner with the keyboard. Alias reverses it and sends Estrada into the corner but he stops himself just before hitting. Estrada turns around and Alias comes flying at him with a big splash but Estrada moves. Alias slams hard into the corner and keyboard. He stumbles out of the corner and Estrada spins him around and hits the Fuck Off Me rko. Estrada with the pin now.
1...
2...
THR...NO!!! Kick out by Alias!
Heather: Close call!
Pip: I thought Reggie had him there!
Heather: You thought wrong!
Estrada gets up and exits the ring again. He reaches under the ring once more and this time pulls out a long box. He opens it up and starts pulling out a fluorescent light tube. With one in each hand he rolls carefully back into the ring. Alias pulls himself up and Estrada smashes one of the long bulbs over his back. Alias straightens up in pain. Estrada swings the other tube wildly but Alias counters with reverse STO that causes Estrada to land face first onto the long light bulb. Alias rolls him over for the cover.
1...
2...
T...NO!!! Kick out by Estrada!
Alias rolls back out of the ring while Estrada writhes in pain in the ring. Alias looks under the ring and pulls out what looks like a gas can. He rolls into the ring with it and as Estrada tries to get up Alias smacks him across the head with the gas can. Estrada goes falling back and stumbles through the ropes and to the floor. Alias climbs out onto the apron and looks down at Estrada. He runs and jumps off the apron, using the gas can for an elbow drop. Estrada rolls out of the way and Alias lands hard and badly.
Heather: Jeeeeezus that gas can might have just broke a rib or two!
Pip: Why the hell was there a gas can under there?!
Heather: It’s an Xtreme rules match, we don’t ask those questions!
The gas can is dented up but somehow still closed and no gas leaks out. Alias writhes in pain, holding his ribs while Estrada starts pulling himself back to his feet. He looks down at Alias before stomping on him a few times. He lifts Alias back up and then pulls him in and hits the Glen’s Park STO backbreaker. Estrada makes a cover as soon as Alias drops.
1...
2...
TH...NO!!! Kick out by Alias!
Estrada gets up and walks back to the ring to look under the apron again. He starts pulling a table out from underneath. He sets the table up on the floor while Alias crawls over to the crowd barrier. Estrada turns back to Alias who is pulling himself back up. Estrada goes over to him and tried to grab him but Alias shoves him off and then nails The Other Left. Estrada drops while Alias walks over to the gas can.
Heather: Why isn’t he going for the cover?
Pip: I don’t like where this is headed...
Alias picks up the xan of gasoline and unscrews the cap off. He begins pouring the gas all over the top of the table while Estrada starts to get back to his feet. Alias pulls a book of matches out of his pocket and lights it up before tossing it onto the table setting it ablaze. Estrada gets up and Alias grabs him. He picks him up for a Death Valley driver through the table but Estrada slides behind him instead. He spins Alias around and kicks him in the stomach then sets up for a power bomb.
Estrada pulls him up for the power bomb but Alias uses the momentum to hop over and drop behind Estrada. Both men spin around but Estrada levels Alias with a huge clothesline. Estrada gets up and starts doing a lazy shuffle dance while pointing at the flaming table and then Alias. The crowd begins to boo his cocky little display. Estrada starts to pick Alias back up but then doubles over as Alias drills him with a low blow.
Heather: Reggie Estrada show boating and immediately pays for it!
Pip: Should we call the fire department? That table is still on fire...
Alias gets to his feet and then hoists Estrada up and goes for a running spine buster through the flaming table. Estrada rakes his eyes and drops out of the hold before they get to the table. He turns and tries throwing Alias into it but instead Alias slides under the table, gets up on the other side and rolls into the ring. Estrada marches around the fiery table and climbs onto the ring apron. Before he can enter the ring Alias nails him with Fatality, sending Estrada back and crashing through the flaming table, putting out the flames at last. Alias slides out of the ring and pins him.
1...
2...
3!!!
Winner by pinfall, and NEWWW Xtreme Champion, Alias!
Heather: What a finish! Alias pulls of the win!
Pip: After all the injuries he has been suffering lately, Alias has risen to the occasion!
After the bell rung, we see Alias on his feet and Reggie slowly on his feet also. As the ref was getting handed the belt from the RA, Reggie rolls out to the ring to get a mic and comes back into it, and he takes the belt from the Ref. Then he looks at the belt for the last time, and he hands it to Alias as an offering, which Alias accepts. Then Alias looks at the entrance way thinking that someone from the Left Hand was going to attack him, but Reggie calms him down with a tap on the shoulder.
"Look Alias, you have nothing to worry about man. You are safe, I told you not to be afraid of the left hand here tonight, all you need to focus on is being the X-Treme champion. Ever since you’ve been here, you have been here you’ve been making headway and I’m proud to say you proved yourself and to your fans you can handle me, and this X-Treme environment in the outdoors. So Alias, tonight is your night… and I want you to live it up!"
Then Alias is posing with the belt, as everyone in the outdoor arena was cheering him on, even saying in unison “EAT THE LEFT HAND” as Alias is on the corner posing with the belt. As Alias turned his back to see if any members of Left Hand was coming to attack him, Reggie was still standing in the ring, but with something behind his back. Alias comes down from the apron, Reggie then speaks to him again.
"Alias, stop being so paranoid about them… you are so scared of them, but you need to chill the hell out and bask in this moment. If they do come out, I have JB and Tommy on a look out for them if they try do something they aren’t supposed to do. But I’m serious, you have been passed the torch by me and you are acting like a bitch, go on.. celebrate this joyous occasion!"
HHL: Man, Reggie is sure making Alias feel too good here tonight… I wonder why he’s too proactive over the safety of Alias… when he and Alias brawled until the cows came home?
PC: Something seems kind of fishy about Reggie’s intentions… and I can’t seem to put my hands on it. I feel like he’s going to do something towards him that isn’t going to be pretty.
As Reggie encouraged him to celebrate some more, as he turns his back on Reggie, he then revels a pipe and strikes Alias in the back with it. As he kept swinging it, Alias was kneeling in pain with his hand on his back, Reggie then smacks the pipe this time to his head which knocked him out. Then he strangles Alias with the pipe on his neck on the mat, and the ref tries to break it off but Reggie pushed the ref away from him and kept strangling him until he lets go.
PC: I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT!
HHL: I think you might be right, Reggie didn’t have good intentions with Alias!
Reggie then lifts up Alias, and smashes his head onto the corner post then he drags him to the middle of the ring and hits the JU$TIFED (Stunner) on Alias. Then Reggie picks up the X-Treme championship for the last time, and looks deeply into it, then he goes to the corner and picks up a red spraycan and he sprays an Red X onto the title plate and he goes up Alias and dumps the belt onto him as sign of disrespect, then as the fans started boo’ing Reggie starts to speak again.
"Looks like your destiny has been somewhat accomplished, Alias… now you can take the burden off my shoulders… and have to deal with being one with Lucy the X-Treme goddess, the same one who was responsible for my two reigns with this piece of tin. You managed to think I was happy for you? The only reason why I was being so nice to you, is that deep down inside… you are as gullible as one can be, also it’s true that non of the left hand members came down here with my boys… but it wasn’t for you or for your protection. Because like I said before, I was strapped and was willing to shoot to kill, Alias and they weren’t going to bail me out of jail. Ever since you been touted as one of the best that ever lived, it made me sick my gut so I wanted you and everyone to know, that I don’t give a fuck about their thoughts and feelings nor the rules put in place in front of me. So Alias, you might not realize this now, but you are going to be my victim until the day you retire, or we have to face off again with higher stakes… but for now, you and your little piece of tin can have a Ménage à trois with your boytoy Corey and embrace your life as a moving target, until I see myself getting back that piece of tin when I give a fuck about it… bitch!"
Reggie then stomps on him for good measure, then turns him on his back and uses the spraycan to spray the red X onto his back. Then JB and Tommy come out in a mini cart to the ring, and they clap for Reggie, and Reggie leaves the ring and gets in the mini cart ride back to the entrance way with them, as the EMTs check on the spraypainted Alias and the belt as the next segment happens.
” Ladies and Gentleman the following contest is your SNOW JOB 2021 Main Event of the Evening…”
The roar from the crowd is unbelievable from Lambeau Field as nearly 100,000 strong in attendance.
” It is scheduled as One Fall to a Finish- There MUST be a winner!
The ovation grows even louder with anticipation.
” The rules are as follows; there will be no count outs, no disqualifications and no outside interference of any kind, the only way to win this contest is by pinfall or submission inside the ring… and it’s for the XWF UNIVERSAL CHAMPIONSHIP!”
HHL: Nothing we say can do this match any justice!
PIP: A story has been written by these two men and tonight, it reaches its final chapter!
HHL: They've rewritten the book on storytelling and Pip, tonight, it ends with a definitive winner and with that end, ends six months of these two tearing each other apart!
Suddenly as section of the lights go dark causing an even louder ovation from the fans! A second section of lights go dark bringing with it a louder reception before the final section goes dark leaving us all with the darkness of Green Bay.
A single spotlight hits the top of the ramp upon a thick haze of smoke as the title to 2001 A Space Odyssey starts to play. Upon the beats of the drums we see a head emerging up through the thick white smoke belonging to that of CHRIS PAGE!
Upon the second sound of the trumpets the shoulders emerge draped in a red velvet robe trimmed in diamonds as Chris has his arms extended out with his palms towards the skies above. Chris continues to rise up on a platform revealing the luxurious full length robe.
As the drums kick back in the platform starts to rotate 360 degrees revealing the back of the robe which is laid out with diamonds spelling the name CHRIS across the upper shoulders blades and the name PAGE written underneath across the lower back.
The platform rotates around the full 360 degrees as a massive display of fireworks starts shooting off above Lambo Field!
The finale of 2001 One A Space Odyssey comes to a close as the fireworks stop firing off.
Lambeau Field is once again dark.
The blackout lasts for several seconds….
As the drums kick in the lights draw up revealing…
There’s a massive loud/mixed reception as Chris Page stands at the top of the ramp before starting to make his long walk towards his destiny. The crowd is on fire as Chris starts to walk as the lyrics are heard. The crowd along the way all reaching out to get a touch of greatness.
Chris has a look of focus and determination in his eyes as he knows this is do or die, the last chance at ever staking claim to the one piece of gold that has eluded him his entire career. Chris Page reaches ringside as the chorus kicks in and the crowd is heard singing over the track which draws a smirk from CCP.
Chris looks at the ring intently, knowing the story that’s about to be told. He lets out a deep breath before walking forward towards the squared circle. Page climbs up on the ring apron before stepping through the ropes and into the ring.
Page reaches the center ring where he removes his hat and scarf followed by the jacket.
He drops them all over the top rope to the ring attendant before holding on to the top rope as he stretches down several times. The music fades away just before the final chorus leaving the crowd the sing in unison.
” I BECOME.. I BECOME… I BECOMING….
I BECOME… I BECOME… I BECOMING….
JUDAS IN, JUDAS IN MY MIND!”
There’s a loud reception from the massive crowd as a major “CCP! CCP! CCP!” chant is heard filling the stadium out of nothing more than respect for what this man has accomplished throughout a thirty year career.
PIP: It is said that sometimes, you live long enough to see yourself become the villain...
HHL: In this case... Chris Page is receiving respect from the XWF faithful!
The stadium lights at Lambeau flicker several times, before showering the entire stadium in gold lighting and snow begins to fall, causing a monstrous ovation just from anticipation from the Cheeseheads. The X-Tron lights up as the physical entrance stage lowers to the turf below.
HHL: It... is snowing here in Green Bay!
The war drums pick up and a literal army of dozens of Duke Nation representatives, flying Lionheart banners, Duke Nation banners, all dressed in gray and white fatigues and battle gear march toward the ring and Chris Page. Standing perfectly still as the drums fade out, the golden light showering the stadium, flickers to red and back to yellow several times before the lighting disappears all together.
As a cover of "Ain't No Grave" kicks in, Lambeau Field is showered in red light. In the ring, Page paces back and forth as the champion stands on the center of the lowered stage in his fathers old entrance gear. At once, he rises several feet on a platform as the flagbearers flying the Duke Nation colors earlier, now hold burning torches.
HHL: The Universal Champion, stands in the image of his father, the legendary King of Darkness!
PIP: What a nod to his heritage, Heather!
HHL: And Duke Nation reaches out to touch their fearless leader!
PIP: And let's not forget! It was Chris Page playing an integral role in the burial of Sebastian Duke on Savage back in October last year!
As "Ain't No Grave" fades out...
So does the stadium lighting.
As does the burning torches.
Lambeau Field is now blanketed in complete darkness as the snow continues to fall.
The bass drops for 'My Name Is Human' and Lambeau is again showered in gold lighting as Thaddeus Duke stands on stage in his customary hoodie.
OKAY!
Thad throws off his hood.
HHL: Duke Nation! Parts down the center like the Red Sea!
The young champion greets and hugs many members of his army as he makes his way to the ring for his very first pay per view Universal title defense. He climbs the steps to the ring and pauses, looking back over his shoulder as 100,000 men women and children break out into a "Go Pack Go" chant as he peels the Universal title from his waist.
Thaddeus soaks it in a minute before stepping into the ring where he comes face to face with Chris Page for a moment, both men jawing at each other. Thad then steps away from Page and steps up on the turnbuckles, lifting the Universal title into the air as pyro bursts from virtually every corner of Lambeau Field.
My Name Is Human finally winds down as Thad places the title on his shoulder and goes to meet Page in the middle of the ring for pre-match introductions.
” Ladies and Gentleman introducing the challenger… He hails from “The Motor City”, Detroit, Michigan… He is a former seventeen time World Heavyweight Champion, a member of the XWF Hall of Legends, he is the Legendary Icon… “CHRONIC” CHRIS PAGE!”
There’s a loud ovation mixed with boos amongst the massive crowd that’s gathered as Chris steps forward raising his arms up in the air before lowering them as he steps back towards his corner looking across the ring at Thaddeus. Duke smiles across at Page and tilts his right hand back and forth, calling Page's crowd reaction "iffy."
"His opponent... from Old Saybrook, Connecticut... weighing in at 2 hundred 17 pounds... he is the REIGNING... DEFENDING... UNIVERSAL... HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION... THE LIONHEARRRRT!.... THADDEUSSS! DUUUUKE!"
HHL: The fans here at Lambeau, firmly behind their Lionheart as always!
Thad hands the championship off to the referee after giving it a kiss. The ref holds it up for all to see before handing it off to the timekeeper. The referee gives a few last second instructions to Page and Duke, then signals for the bell.
Lambeau Field erupts at the sound of the opening bell. Thaddeus and Page stare across the ring from each other as the crowd is heard getting louder and louder with every passing second.
” This right here is what has brought nearly ninety thousand people to Lambeau Field here in Green Bay… It’s Page versus Duke- The Final Chapter!”
” I’ve got goosebumps knowing not only what these two can bring to the table, but if Chris Page, at fifty years old can capture the Universal Championship for the first time; he says this is it, the last chance.”
” Equally as important if you’re Thaddeus Duke because what makes this more interesting is when you look at the wins they have over each other, they both definitively won Ladder matches. Neither Thad nor Page have been able to put the other down for the three count or the submission win… tonight that changes and one will not only leave with the Universal Title but they leave with the bragging rights to say they’ve beaten the other.”
The two men walk out towards the center of the ring, neither taking eyes off each other. The two men reach center ring. You can see both men talking to each other but can’t make out what’s being said.
” Oh to be a fly on the shoulder of these men.”
Whatever is said between Page and Thad stays between Page and Thad before Chris extends his hand out for a pre-match handshake.
” A level of respect has certainly developed between both Page and Thad over the last several months while this has played out.
Thad looks down at Chris’s hand and then up at Chris before reaching out and shaking his hand. They release hands and back away from each other! The crowd roars as they circle each other in the ring before locking up with a collar elbow, both jockey for position before Page uses his size to muscle Thad back into a neutral corner where he holds Thad against the buckles before slowly releasing and backing away with a clean break.
Page backs out to the center of the ring as we see Thad walk out from the corner. They two lock up a second time where the Universal Champion takes a hold of a side headlock! Page backs Thad up against the ropes where he sends him across the ring with an Irish Whip, Thad bounces off the near side where he smashes into Page with a running shoulder block that takes the challenger down to the mat.
Thad runs and bounces off the near side ropes, Page rolls over to his chest, Thad jumps over Page where he bounces off the nearside, Page pops back up to his feet where he looks to deliver a hip toss, Thad puts on the breaks and swings with a clothesline, Page ducks while transitioning into a back waist lock where he hoists the Champion up into the air before driving him down into the mat on his stomach.
Page floats around into a front face lock before rolling with a Gator Roll as he maintains the front face lock on the Universal Champion before we see Thaddeus roll out and transition into a Japanese Armbar! Page quickly flips through and counters into a head scissors! Thad pulls free as both men are back to a vertical base with fist clinched and a stalemate.
” One Fall to a Finish, you have to think they’re going to take their time, they’re going to be patient because this one will end when one of these men make a mistake.”
” There’s no deny that both Thad and Page are accomplished wrestlers and can put on clinics.”
Page and Thad circle each other one more time in the center of the ring as the crowd roars with approval. They lock up once again with a deep tie up. Page snatches a side head lock before transitioning into a hammerlock on Duke.
Thad reverses the positioning and takes the hammerlock on Page. Chris quickly counters with a reverse elbow to the jaw breaking Thad’s grasp! Page turns around where he laces Thad across the chest with a knife edge chop that echoes through the Stadium!
Chris comes forward with a second chop even louder as it echoes throughout the stadium as Thad is sent back into the ropes. Page charges towards Thad where he looks to clothesline him out to the floor only to see Thad duck his head and elevate Page over the top rope and out to the floor with a back body drop sending Page crashing down to the padding surrounding the ring!
On the floor, Page rolls over to his stomach as he regains his wind. Thad though keeps his eyes glued to Page. As Page get to his feet, Thad uses the top rope like a slingshot but Page telegraphs and spins out of the way. Thad telegraphs the telegraph and lands on the apron on his feet. Chris Page expected a thud and Thad crashing to the floor but doesn’t get it. He searches for Thad a second, only to turn around right as Duke leaps with a backflip off the middle rope with a asai moonsault, crashing onto Chris Page and sending both guys to the floor.
Thad gets back to his feet on the floor and lifts Page to his feet. Page grabs a burst of energy and drives Duke back first against the ring apron. Thad falls to his hands and knees, clutching his back and Page wastes no time as he peels back the protective padding on the floor before returning his attention to the champion.
HHL: Evil intentions, from the challenger here!
PIP: This is anything goes Heather, if these guys aren’t pulling out all the stops, then there’s no reason to even be here!
Page stands with Thad’s head between his feet. Thad goes to get up but Page locks him in place then lifts him into a pile driver position, only for Thad to kick his legs out and shift his weight causing Page to lose his grip on the champion. Page tries again, but again the champion shifts his weight. This time, Thad dumps Chris Page up and over and sends him crashing back first into the floor.
Duke gets to his feet and stretches out his aching back before sliding himself into the ring. He pops to his feet quickly as Page rolls over and starts to get back to his feet. In the ring, Duke gets a head of steam and runs to the far side ropes. Page noticing Duke running toward him after the rebound, quickly rolls into the ring, avoiding whatever dangers were coming toward him.
Thad stops his head of steam and adapts on the fly, delivering repeated stomps to his challenger.
HHL: That’s an added benefit of knowing each other the way they do, Pip!
PIP: It is, and Heather, Chris Page just took his knowledge of the champion and used it against him.
HHL: Thaddeus Duke still in control here, but I think Page would rather eat a few kicks than to take some aerial offense from the champion!
As Duke lays in the boots, Page tries to retreat on his hands and knees toward the corner. After eating a few more kicks, Page sits on his ass in the corner, leaning against the turnbuckles as Duke kneels over him driving his fist down repeatedly into the forehead of Chris Page.
Thad back off and gets back to his feet. He grabs Page by his legs but Page hangs on to the ropes for dear life as Duke tries to drag him out. The champion adapts and drops Page’s legs and steps toward the challenger. Page grabs a handful of Thad’s waistband, pulling him forward. Thad simultaneously has the side of his head slammed into the top turnbuckle while also inadvertently crotching himself against Chris Page’s forehead.
PIP: Talk about adding insult to injury!
HHL: The Universal Champion is in a world of pain right now!
Thad doubles over out of the corner and hits his hands and knees on the mat, trying shake the pain from his nether regions. Using the ropes to aid him, Page gets to his feet and stalks the champion from behind. He grabs a hold of Thad’s right ankle, lifts it up, and drives Thad’s knee into the mat.
HHL: There’s no surprise that Thaddeus Duke’s ACL injury from Relentless would come into play here tonight!
Page repeats the maneuver, driving Thad’s right knee into the mat.
PIP: Chris Page is a wily veteran, Heather! He’ll use whatever tools he can to gain the advantage!
Page repeats the maneuver a third time, driving Thad’s right knee into the mat.
HHL: He will, and what’s more is that if he damages that knee enough, will it negate Thaddeus Duke’s ability to launch aerial assaults on Chris Page?
Duke lies face down on the mat, clutching his right knee and Page gives the Universe a wry smile before stomping his boot down into the insertion point of the back of Thad’s knee, causing him to yelp out in pain. Still standing a bit on the inside of his knee, Page leans down to cross Thad’s ankles before bridging backward toward the mat and in the direction of Thad’s head, locking in an Indian Death Lock.
HHL: Ohhh! The torque on the knee here could be devastating for Thaddeus Duke!
PIP: The champion crying out here in pain!
Page keeps the death lock locked in while also using his hands to torque back on Duke’s neck.
HHL: The champion has no recourse here!
PIP: With no DQ’s, he’ll either have to tap or fight his way out of the hold! A rope break won’t help him!
HHL: The ref can ask, but there’s no reason for Page to comply!
Wisely, if not entirely underhanded, Page uses his fingers to cover Duke’s mouth and nose, restricting his ability to breathe while simultaneously torquing the knee and neck of the Universal Champion. Moments later, Thad is successful at prying Page’s hands off of his face. With rope breaks not really a thing in this particular match type, Duke is forced to use underhanded tactics to break Page’s hold and reaches for Chris’s face, managing only to get a handful of hair. Duke yanks on it a bit, causing Page to wince a little and try to pry Thad’s hands from his mane. A result of that sees Thad reach for Page’s eyes and gouge the hell out of them, finally causing Page to break the hold of his own volition.
With Page and Duke now separated, Thad resumes working his ailing knee as Page works himself back to his feet. The champion starts to get to his feet but as he plants with his right leg his knee gives out and falls back down. Not wasting any time, Page resumes stalking his prey and grabs the presumably injured right leg of Thad and pulls him toward the center of the ring and flips him over.
HHL: Like the technician that he is, the challenger continues to work that leg!
PIP: Not only is Chris Page re-exposing the old ACL injury to Thaddeus Duke, he has now effectively eliminated a large segment of his available offense.
Grabbing a hold of Thad’s right leg, Page scissors Duke’s knee between his legs and drives it to the mat causing the champions face to turn beet red as he tries to quell the pain. Page smirks at the continuously grounded Thaddeus Duke as he gets back to his feet, still clutching Thad’s leg. Page begins to set him up in the figure four but Thad has different ideas.
HHL: The champion with a handful of hair!
PIP: Small package from Duke to Page!
1!
2!
HHL: That was way closer than Page wanted!
PIP: Duke pulled that out of nowhere and caught him sleeping!
After the surprise near fall, Page is slightly enraged and gets back to his feet as Thad remains grounded after the repeated assaults on his formerly injured knee. Page bounces off the ropes and leaps into the air, dropping a big leg onto the Universal champion and goes for the cover.
1!
2!
HHL: The champion kicks out here at two!
PIP: Being caught with his pants down moments ago, I think has enraged Page a little bit and his famous smirk is all but gone!
The Chronic one gets back to his feet and grabs a handful of Thaddeus Duke’s locks and pulls him to his feet. He whips him hard into the corner and follows it up by charging hard into the corner with clothesline. Page backs off a second letting Duke stagger out of the corner. Page though, then sends him into the far side corner and again follows him in. As Duke nears the corner though, he leaps to the middle rope and back flips over Chris Page, causing Page to crash into the corner chest first.
Duke lands on his feet and Page staggers backward out of the corner. Thad lifts and drops Page with a belly to back suplex and lies on the mat for a second to regain his wind before starting to get back to his feet.
HHL: I’m beginning to wonder if the knee is even reinjured, Pip!
PIP: Yeah! He stuck the landing on that back flip with relative ease and no obvious side effects!
With Thad back to his feet, he grabs Page by his wrist and pulls him to his feet. Forcing Page to the ropes, he whips him across to the far side ropes but follows behind him. As Page rebounds, Thad drives a knee hard into Page’s midsection, doubling him over.
Now doubled over and staggering forward toward the center of the ring, Thaddeus stalks his prey. Page though senses Thad nearby and goes for a back elbow while still doubled over. Duke though uses his elite athleticism to his advantage and sideways flips over Page to Page’s right side, causing him to miss before Thad plants him on the mat with a thunderous side Russian leg sweep.
HHL: Thaddeus Duke’s awesome athleticism on full display here tonight at Snow Job!
PIP: He uses it to his advantage well, Heather!
HHL: He does! He uses it to confuse his opponents about his ring location and no one does it better!
Momentarily, Thad thinks about going for a cover but changes his mind as he gets back to his feet instead. Bending down, Duke grabs Page’s wrist and pulls him up to his feet. Duke whips Page toward the ropes facing the entrance way but on the rebound, Page grabs a hold of the top rope, stopping his momentum. Page then slides under the ropes to the stadium floor as he takes a moment to gather himself.
HHL: Chris Page, wisely taking a few seconds to regain his composure!
PIP: Thad doesn’t give a fuck though!
Duke gains a full head of steam as he charges toward the corner and one hops it to the top rope then leaps off the top toward Chris Page on the floor. Page turns to see Thad flying but can’t do anything but take the cross body block off the top rope. Page hits the floor with a thud and Thad’s momentum rolls him off of Page a few feet away. The maneuver itself causes a nice pop from Titletown and a bit of applause.
The champion gets back to his feet and immediately returns his attention to Chris Page. Grabbing a handful of hair, he pulls Page to his feet and takes him back toward the ring and rolls him inside. As Page starts to fight his way to his feet, Thad get to the apron and looks on as Page gets up.
Once Page is up, he turns to find Thad. Duke uses the top rope as a springboard as he leaps, bounds and lands with his legs around Page’s head, taking him down with a hurricanrana pinning combination.
1!
2!
HHL: And Page kicks out!
PIP: Heather, the aerial offense of the Universal champion really is a sight to behold!
Thad gets back to his feet after Page escapes the pin attempt. He waits back and makes Page get to his feet under his own power then closes in before whipping Page into the corner. Thad follows him in, but eats a big boot to the face from Page and Thad staggers backward toward the center of the ring. Page charges from the corner and Duke attempts to telegraph with a clothesline but Page ducks under the attempt while grabbing Duke’s wrist. He spins Thad around and gives him a quick kick to the midsection before trapping him in a front facelock and planting him head first on the mat with a DDT!
HHL: This is the separation Chris Page has been waiting for!
PIP: That’s the thing about wrestling! You want to stay in control the entire way but that never happens. When you’re down, you wait for the right moment to turn the tide back in your favor and the challenger has just done that!
Page slowly begins to stir taking a few seconds to gather himself before he works his way back to his feet. Chris reaches down snatching Thad up by the hair, he takes the Champion back into the ropes where he fires him across the ring, Thad bounces off the ropes and into a front waist lock by Page who delivers an overhead release belly to belly suplex! Thad lands hard on the mat as pain is etched on his face while he rolls under the bottom rope and out to the floor. Page is back to a vertical base taking full advantage as he makes his way towards a set of turnbuckles! Page starts to climb up to the top rope on the inside of the ring while Thaddeus is shown starting to stir on the floor. Duke starts to get back to his feet, Page is crouched on to top turnbuckle where he leaps off with a Flying Cross Body Block of his own crashing down on to Thaddeus taking both men down to the padding surrounding the ring!
HHL: Page just set took the air!?!?”
Pip: Look at the old bastard pulling out all the stops!!”
Page is back to his feet where he picks up Thaddeus before bouncing him face first off the announcers table! He drives him face first a second time before hurling the Universal Champion back into the ring. Page climbs back up on the ring apron before climbing back up to the top rope. Thaddeus begins to get back to his feet and as he does he looks around for his challenger as we see Page time it perfectly as he leaps off the top rope with a reverse spinning elbow to the jaw! Chris makes a cover hooking the near leg.
1!
2!
THR…
Duke kicks out to a huge ovation from the crowd as Chris starts to get to his feet.
HHL: Another high flying move by Chris Page that lead to a near fall on the champion.”
Page reaches down picking Thaddeus up off the mat before he sends Duke crashing into a neutral corner. Page charges in after Thaddeus where he eats a reverse elbow to the jaw from the Champion that staggers the challenger back out towards the center of the ring. Duke hops up on the middle turnbuckle where leaps off the middle rope with a missile dropkick to the challenger! Page hits the mat and rolls towards the ropes. We see Thad start to get back up to his feet where he stretches the right knee while Page is using the ropes to get back to his feet. The champion runs towards the challenger who attempts to send him over the top rope and out to the floor, Duke lands on the ring apron as Page staggers out towards the center of the ring.
Thaddeus sizes up his challenger and as Page turns around Thad spring boards off the top rope…
Page scurries into the cover hooking the near leg!
1!
2!
THRE..
Duke pops a shoulder up off the mat before the fatal three count! The crowd erupts with a thunderous ovation as Page sits on the mat as he cuts his eyes towards the referee who shows him two fingers as Chris simply shakes it off while getting back to his feet.
Pip: Another near fall from the challenger as the ever resilient champion continues to find ways to keep his title, at least for the time being.
Chris Page stomps down on Thaddeus’s chest before he makes his way towards the ropes where he steps back out to the ring apron and once again starts to climb up a set of turnbuckles.
HHL: Page is going back up top!”
Thaddeus rolls towards the ropes as he gets to one knee and sees Page standing up on the top rope. Thad leaps out into the ropes causing them to shake which causes Page to lose his balance and fall causing him to crotch himself on the top rope to a roar from the crowd!
Pip: Page went to the well one to many times with that one.”
Thaddeus makes his way towards the corner with Page crotched on the top turnbuckle. Duke decks Page with a hard right hand that rocks the challenger and allows the champion to step up on the middle rope, he hammers Page with another right hand before stepping up to the top rope where he picks Page up to a standing position, he hooks up the challenger before leaping backwards off the top rope delivering a Spanish Fly to the Challenger that brings a massive ovation from the crowd!
HHL: Dear god the impact!”
Thaddeus negotiates the cover hooking the far leg of the challenger with a back press! The referee drops down into position making the count as the crowd counts along!
1!
2!
THRE…
Page pops a shoulder up off the mat eyelashes away from the three count to a collective gasp from Lambeau Field!
Pip: Chris Page refuses to die after a perfectly executed Spanish Fly from the Universal Champion. We knew coming in these two planned on stealing the show, and that’s exactly what they’re doing live and in living color.”
Thaddeus now takes several seconds to compose himself after the offensive onslaught from the challenger. He starts to get back up to his feet as the crowd rallies behind him.
HHL: The fans showing love to both men but one might think that the majority want to see Thad retain.”
Duke reaches down picking his challenger up off the mat where he laces him across the chest with a knife edge chop that echoes throughout the stadium. He comes forth with a second chop before driving Page back into a neutral corner with a running shoulder block. He lays in several shoulder blocks into the midsection before slinging Page across the ring and into the opposite set of buckles!
Duke charges across the ring only to see the right knee give out as he drops down to it. He steps back up but it’s too late as Page explodes out from the corner with a chop block to the front of the knee cap! Page seems to kick it into another gear as he gets back to his feet where he picks up the right leg and starts stomping viciously into the knee cap of the champion!
Page locks in a Figure Four Leg lock dead set in the center of the ring!
The referee immediately is in position and begins asking Thaddeus if he wants to surrender!
Pip: How much damage has been done to that right knee of the Champion? No rope breaks, once again he finds himself in a position to find an escape.”
Chris cranks back on the figure four leg lock scream out at Thad.
” GIVE UP! QUIT!”
Chris cranks back on the figure four causing Thad’s shoulders to hit the mat.
1!!
2!!
THRE..
Thad sits up, pain etched on his face as he breaks the pin fall. The referee is once again in position asking for him to surrender. Thad refuses to give up as he reaches out towards the ankle of Page’s that over the crossed leg. Thad manages to get his hands on the ankle and is able to break the figure four while transitioning into an ankle lock submission! The crowd pops huge as Page now screams out in pain as Thaddeus cranks harder and harder on his right ankle!
HHL: Duke with the transitions into the Ankle Lock!”
The official asks Page to surrender, he refuses as Thaddeus cranks on the ankle harder and harder trying to snap in in two! The referee continues to ask Chris to give up only to have Page counter as he rolls through sending Thaddeus spilling out to the floor through the top and middle ropes. Page rolls towards the ropes and out to the floor after the Champion. Page rolls out to his feet where he shakes his ankle and lightly stomps down on the protective padding before walking towards Thad with a light limp.
Chris picks up Thaddeus up off the protective padding before sending crashing right shoulder first into the steel steps with such force they separate upon impact. Thad clutches at his right shoulder as Chris now starts to remove a section of the protective padding and exposing the football field! Chris turns his attention back towards the champion as he has a crazed look in his eyes.
Pip: This can’t be good for Thaddeus.”
Chris picks the Universal Champion up off before taking him towards the exposed field. Page ducks under taking a back waist lock where he delivers a Release German Suplex on to the football field that folds Thaddeus up like an accordion!
HHL: Thad’s neck could be broken!”
There’s a mixed reception, more boos than cheers as Chris begins to get back to a vertical base. He reaches down picking up the dead weight of the Universal Champion and hurls him back into the ring. Thad is seemingly unconscious as Page slides back into the ring and immediately makes a cover.
1!!
2!!
THRE…
The crowd explodes once again as the resilient champion kicks out of the near fall once again.
HHL: Oh the look in CCP’s eyes! He thinks this one should be over.”
Chris cuts his eyes back at the referee who shows him two fingers once again as he pounds the mat one time out of sheer frustration. Chris gets back up to his feet where he calls for the Page Plant.
Pip: Page is looking to close the book on this epic rivalry once and for all!
The mixed reception reigns out from all over Lambeau Field as Chris sizes up Thaddeus as the Universal Champion begins to work his way up off the mat and back to a vertical base. He staggers backwards before slowly turning around where he’s met with a boot to the midsection from the challenger, Duke’s head is dropped allowing Page to put the head of Duke between his legs but as he attempts to under hook the arms of the Champion it’s Thaddeus with a desperation back body drop to Page that sends Thaddeus staggering towards the ropes!
Page pops back up to a vertical base where he charges full speed towards Thaddeus only to see the Universal Champion connect with a BETTER THAN YOU Superkick from out of nowhere that stops the challenger in his tracks while blowing up Lambeau Field! Page crumbles to the mat as he’s followed by Thaddeus. Both men are down as the referee is powerless to make a count.
The crowd is on fire with a thunderous ovation.
Pip: Only if Thaddeus can capitalize because Page might be knocked the fuck out!”
Neither man is stirring as the toll this war has taken starts to set in between these two gladiators.
The ovation grows louder as Thaddeus slowly starts to roll over to his chest where he begins to crawl towards Page who is laid out on his back with his eyes glazed over.
HHL: Thad’s on the move!”
Thad finally crawls close enough to get his arm over the chest of the challenger.
1!!
2!!
THRE…
Page narrowly gets his right shoulder off the mat to the loudest collective gasp from the audience of the night.
Pip: What a war Page versus Duke III has turned into! You talk about a clinic by both participants!”
“THIS IS AWESOME!” clap clap clapclapclap starts echoing from all angles of Lambeau Field directed towards the ring at both Champion and Challenger.
HHL: We knew coming in how personal leaving with the win for both of these two was, and I’ll be damn if they haven’t already exceeded expectations.”
Beaten, battered and exhausted, Thad rolls to his back as Page rolls over to his stomach.
HHL: Kip up from the Universal Champion!
PIP: And Lambeau is rockin’!
Thad fixes his waistband after the kip up and peels off to the corner, standing in wait with his hands on his knees as Page makes it to his hands and knees. Page turns his head from side to side, looking for Thad but doesn’t find him.
HHL: The champion! Stalking the challenger here at Snow Job!
Page reaches the corner, using the turnbuckles to aid him to his feet. Thad charges across the ring and just as Page turns around in the corner, he’s squashed against it with Thaddeus Duke’s variant of the Stinger Splash. Page is rocked and staggers out of the corner. Thad hops to the middle rope where he sits for a second, fixing his knee pad.
Standing up on the middle rope, Thad decides to go higher and steps onto the top rope. Leaping off, he drives Page into the mat with a top rope bulldog!
Chris Page rolls onto his back and Thad hooks the leg.
1!
2!
HHL: Once again, the challenger survives!
PIP: The war rages on Heather, and my heart is pounding out of my chest!
Thad gets back to his feet and again peels off toward the corner, looking like he’s gonna wind up for the superkick again. Page rolls to his stomach and gets to his hands and knees before powering himself to a vertical base. Thad’s superkick comes in like lightning but narrowly and miraculously, Page dodges the attempt, flooring Thad with a backstabber.
Duke writhes in pain, face down on the mat as he clutches his back. Page, albeit slowly, rolls Thad over and hooks the leg.
1!
2!
HHL: Thad kicks out and this match rolls on!
PIP: This match rolls on much longer, it’s gonna be Monday before we have a winner!
Page pounds the mat in frustration again and mouths “one two three” to the referee as he slaps his right hand against his left. The official holds up two fingers and Page shakes his head, then returns his attention to the task at hand: beating Thaddeus Duke.
Page gets back to his feet and paintbrushes the back of Thad’s head a few times before grabbing a handful of hair and pulls him to his feet. CCP grabs Duke and lifts him up before draping him across his knee with a bow and arrow type of back breaker. Rather than allowing Thad to fell to the mat, Page keeps him in place, bending Thad backward over his knee, one hand on Duke’s thigh, one on his upper chest, stretching him as far as he can.
”Ask him!”
As he insists, the referee asks Thad if he’s ready to give it up. With his wind being stretched out of him, Thad can’t answer verbally, so he elects to just shake his head.
HHL: Chris Page would love to be the first to do it, but not a soul has ever succeeded it getting that young man to submit!
Thad throws his free leg up, striking Page in the side of his head with his knee. Page tries to absorb it. Again, Duke throws a knee into the side of Page’s head and once more he tries to absorb it, refusing to break up the hold. For a third time, Thad knees Page in the side of the head, catching him in the temple, causing Page to release the hold and drop to the mat.
HHL: The last one rung his bell!
PIP: Page is staring into the Wisconsin sky through the fog of war!
Thad lies face down on the mat, kicking one of his legs against the mat every few seconds as he tries to shake the pain from his back. Page tries to shake the cobwebs from his brain as he sits up on the mat. Page gets to his feet and immediately leaps into the air, driving a hard elbow into the ailing back of the Universal Champion. In response, Duke yelps in pain as he continues to nurse his lower back.
Page gets back to his feet and Thad miraculously starts to power himself back to his feet as well. Thad turns to find Page and throws a wild haymaker only for Page to duck under it and plant Duke on the mat with a belly to back suplex. For a moment, Page considers going for the cover but chooses otherwise. Instead, he gets back to his feet.
Lifting Thaddeus to his feet, he sends him hard into the corner. Thad bounces out of the corner and Page ducks down, sending him up and over and down to the mat with a back body drop. Thad though bounces on the mat and then immediately starts to get back to his feet. Again, Page sends him hard into the corner and this time follows him in with a clothesline. Thad starts to stagger out of the corner but Page forces him back in, then delivers a knifedge chop that leaves a red welt across Duke’s chest. Thad’s face turns red as he shakes off the pain.
Page lifts Thad onto the top rope and throws both of his legs over before sending a loud bitch slap into Thad’s face. Thad’s head whiplashes so hard a wad of spit flies from his mouth and lands somewhere in the third or fourth row.
PIP: Get a container! Sell it on eBay!
HHL: That’s disgusting!
Page steps up the ropes and sends a hard right into Thad’s solar plexus. Chris Page steps to the very top rope and pulls Thad with him. Duke tries to fight him off but Page sends another right into his abdomen, repositions himself, then lifts Thad Duke high into the air and takes him to the mat with a thunderous top rope superplex!
HHL: Chris Page, going above and beyond here!
PIP: He’s pulling out all the stops, Heather!
HHL: To put a man like Thad Duke down, it’s a must.
PIP: To put a man like Chris Page down, it’s also a must!
Thad lays sprawled out in the middle of the ring as Page slowly gets to his feet. He uses the ropes to aid him momentarily before looking down at the Universal Champion. Smelling blood in the water as Thad rolls over and starts to get to to his feet, Page stands back and waits.
As Thad is on his feet but bent over, Page goes for the kill…
HHL: PAGE PLANT!
PIP: New champion!
Chris Page hits the angel’s wings on Thaddeus Duke and rolls him over, hooking the leg.
1!
2!
3!!?????????????????????????????????????
HHL: HOLY SHIT!
PIP: Somehow! Some way! The Lionheart finds it in himself to kick out!
Page sits up on the mat, irate that Duke just kicked out and is admonishing the referee. He gets to his feet and steps right into the referees face. Thad meanwhile, lies on the mat sprawled out after his kick out. Page backs the referee into the corner, still berating him for not getting the three count before delivering a headbutt to the official, dropping him instantly.
HHL: Chris Page’s frustration is starting to mount here Pip!
PIP: He’s gotta keep his wits, Heather! Thad Duke is hard to beat, and that isn’t a secret!
Page turns to see Thad still lying on the mat. Duke rolls over and looks across the ring at Page as Chris exits the ring to the floor. Throwing back the apron, he digs around for a few seconds and retrieves a steel chair from under the ring. Page slides it into the ring as Thad gets to one knee. CCP himself rolls back into the ring and gets to his feet, picking up the chair as he does so. Thad gets to a vertical base and Page advances toward him, swinging the steel.
CRACK!
Thad falls back to the mat after having his bell rung with the steel chair as Lambeau turns their previous cheers for Chris Page into boo’s. Page tosses the chair to the mat and hits his knees, about to go for a cover before remembering he just decked the official. Instead, he gets back to his feet and eyeballs the fallen Universal champion. Page reaches down and grabs himself a handful of the hair of the Lionheart and pulls him to his feet.
Thad appears to be out on his feet and Page places Duke’s head between his legs and double underhooks his arms for presumable another Page Plant. Page lifts him up, but Thad kicks his legs wildly, shifting his weight. Page tries a second time, but again Thad shifts his weight, stopping the attempt. Duke clenches his arms tight and backpedals toward the ropes, frees his arms from Page’s grip, then dumps Page up and over the top rope and down to the floor.
It takes a lot out of Thad though and he falls to his knees. Duke looks behind him through the ropes as Page on the floor get to his knees facing the entrance way. Thad at once spring to his feet and charges toward the far side ropes. He rebounds getting a full head of steam as Page turns around to face the ring. Thad leaps into the air over the top rope and comes crashing down on Chris Page on the outside of the ring successfully hitting the Top Rope Suicida to an uproarious response from the Cheeseheads in Titletown.
Both men lie on the floor for several moments before Thad begins to get to his feet. Once he’s up, rather than going right back to work on Page, he decides to look for something fun to use under the ring. A few moments later, Duke pulls out a long ass ladder, because Thad. Duke slides the ladder in the ring and follows it inside.
HHL: Thaddeus Duke now in control of the proceedings as he starts to set that ladder up right beside the ropes.
PIP: That thing’s gotta be thirty feet high!
HHL: Men have never been a reliable judge in size, so let’s call it twenty feet, Pip!
Thad ascends the ladder somewhat quickly and as he reaches the top, he stares down at Page. With little to no hesitation, the Pharaoh of Flight leaps off the ladder with a Shooting Star Press from the top of the ladder inside the ring, onto Chris Page lying on the floor!
XWF Universe: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
HHL: Mother of all Bombs to Chris Page!
PIP: But at what cost!?
Upon impact, Thad rolls off of Page clutching his midsection for several moments before he wills himself to get back up. In the ring, the referee has made it back to his feet sporting a nice goose egg on the middle of his forehead. On the floor, Thad is back up and to his feet. He lifts Page to his and immediately brings him back to the ring, rolling him in. Thad hops up on the apron and steps through the ropes to get back in. Inside, he folds the ladder up and tosses it back outside the ring and returns his attention to Chris Page.
Page is on his hands and knees and Thad spies the steel chair CCP used on him earlier. He lifts the chair from the mat and Page reaches both knees. Thad lays the chair against Page and runs toward the ropes…
HHL: RUNNING WATERS TO CHRIS PAGE!
PIP: That might do it!
Thad hooks the leg.
1!
2!
3!!??????????????????????????????????????????
HHL: My god!
PIP: PAGE! KICKS! OUT!
THIS IS AWESOME! THIS IS AWESOME! THIS IS AWESOME! is all that you hear echoing throughout Green Bay as Lambeau Field is witnessing history in the making.
HHL: This is the damnedest Universal Championship match I’ve ever called!”
Thad is slow to get to his knee’s as his arms hit his hips, sucking in air before taking notice he’s busted open Chris Page.
Pip: The challenger has been opened up by the Champion.
Duke gets to one knee before stepping up to a vertical base while Chris rolls towards the ropes. Thaddeus rolls out to the floor on the far side of the ring. He comes around the ring towards Page who is near the bottom rope. Duke reaches in taking the right leg of Page where he drags him towards a corner. Duke pulls Page forward crotching the challenger into the ring post!
The crowd erupts as Thaddeus uses the ring post and locks in a Figure Four around the ring post to Page!
HHL: Thad can snap Page’s leg! There’s No Disqualifications!
The referee asks Page to surrender, he refuses! Thad continues to hold the figure four around the ring post for as long as he can before he’s forced to release it out of sheer exhaustion. Page screams in pain as he inches his way back towards the center of the ring! The Universal Champion starts to get back to his feet on the floor. Thad climbs up on the ring apron as he sizes Page up once again while the challenger struggles to get back to a vertical base.
Thad has Page in his sights as he spingboards off the top rope with a forearm to the face of Chris Page!
Pip: That could be the knockout shot! Can Thad make the cover!?!?!
The champion crawls towards the Champion where he makes the cover hooking a far leg.
1!!
2!!
THRE…
Page kicks out to the shock of the crowd!
Pip: For nearly sixty minutes Page and Thad have not let up, they’ve not quit, they’ve thrown everything they’ve got at each other but the kitchen sink…
Thaddeus gets up off the mat as he reaches back down picking Page up off the mat. Duke takes Page back into the ropes where he sends him across the ring, Page bounces off the ropes where he latches on to the top rope stopping in his tracks. This bring Duke towards Page who sends him over the top rope with a back body drop which sees Thaddeus land on the ring apron.
Page spins around as Thad swings with a right, Page blocks the attempt before KISSING THAD on the lips!
HHL: WHAT THE HELL?!!?!?
Page steps back towards the center of the ring as Thaddeus is completely shocked by what has just transpired just as equally as the live crowd. Chris gazes into the eyes of Thaddeus when suddenly the lights at Lambeau Field go pitch dark. Suddenly cell phones start to light up all over the field but not enough to illuminate the ringside area. The lights come back up….
Pip: THE BEAST!”
Thaddeus looks on from the ring apron as he stares across the ring at The Beast who defiantly flips Thaddeus the middle finger!
HHL: A very uncomfortable feeling has come over Lambeau Field!
The Champion doesn’t remove eye contact from The Beast as he steps back through the ropes. The crowd gets louder and louder as the intense stare down between The Beast and Duke continues. The Beast throws his hands up giving up a free shot to Thaddeus, the crowd ERUPTS as Duke drops The Beast with BETTER THAN YOU SUPERKICK!
Thad drops down on top of The Beast into the cover!
1!!
2!!
THRE…
The Beast kicks out!! The crowd is completely stunned as Thaddeus gets back to both knees with a complete and utter look of shock in his eyes.
Pip: The champion doesn’t know what to do at this point.
The look of shock shifts into a look of determination as the leader of the Duke Nation steps back up to his feet where he backs himself up into a neutral corner. He starts to stomp his right boot down on to the mat which garners claps from the crowd with each strike to the mat. The Beast rolls over to his stomach before starting to push himself up off the mat.
The Beast reaches one knee before stepping up to his feet where Thaddeus Duke comes out from the corner looking for a third Superkick only to see The Beast counter with a JUDAS EFFECT elbow strike to the temple of the Champion! Thaddeus falls backwards into the ropes where he bounces forward and into a boot to the midsection from The Beast that doubles the Champion over where he delivers the FLIP PILE DRIVER!
HHL: HIGH TIMES!!
The Beast rolls Thaddeus over making the cover on the Champion!
1!!!
2!!
3!!!
DING… DING…. DING…
WINNER AND NEW XWF UNIVERSAL CHAMPION: CHRIS PAGE
HHL: WE GOT A NEW CHAMPION!
Pip: Chris Page has finally reached the top of the XWF mountain!
The Beast reaches his knees as he looks up into the heavens above before he steps up to one knee and then to a vertical base as Lambeau Field is in a state of complete shock with the crowning of a new XWF Universal Champion.
HHL: The master manipulator has just struck at Snow Job,,,”
The Beast is awarded the XWF Universal Championship.
Pyro starts to explode from the top of Lambeau Field as The Beast clutches the Universal Title to his chest….
HHL: What?
The Beast slings the Universal Title over his right shoulder while turning his attention towards the top of the stage. Suddenly we see emerging out to the top of the ramp MISS FURY, THUNDER KNUCKLES, BOBBY BOURBON, BARNEY GREEN, JENNY MYST and BROKEN OSWALD walking out and towards the ring while you can read the Beasts lips.
“What the fuck is this?”
Pip: BoB is on the way to the ring!
The members of BoB reach ringside before all entering the ring where they surround The Beast.
HHL: Not looking good here…”
Thunder Knuckles steps in the middle as if to challenge The Beast only to pull out a BOB t-shirt that he reaches out. A smirk graces the face of The Beast as he takes the shirt and puts it on! Suddenly massive balloons start to drop from all over Lambeau Field, randomly popping on the way down sending confetti sailing in the air floating towards the crowd below!
Thunder Knuckles and Miss Fury raise the arms of the Beast in the air before TK and The Beast share a quick hug in the ring.
Pip: What am I seeing? Has Chris Page or The Beast aligned himself with BoB?
Pryo starts to explode all over Lambeau Field once again as a group of dancing midgets emerge out to the top of the ramp followed by a horde of clowns ranging from juggling to uni-cycling and making balloon animals! Large inflatable balloon’s start to float out to the top of the ramp. We’ve got Charlie Brown, we got Garfield, Mickey Mouse, Spiderman, Ironman and a hosts of others. Red confetti flies everywhere as we see The Beast hoist up the XWF Universal Title while the dancing midgets and clowns surround the ring . Thunder Knuckles, Bourbon, Green, Fury and Myst applaud when suddenly everything goes dark except for the XWFTRON.....
CHRIS PAGE...
I
KNOW
WHAT
YOU
DID
ON
DECEMBER 23RD!!!
Chris Page and his new friends look around at each other unsure what to make of the message on the tron as Snow Job 2021 fades to black.
Special Thank You To The Following:
Centurion
BigDong
Gravyboat
Myst Chaos
The Chronic
Thaddeus Not As Cool As Sebastian Duke
Marf x 2
Charlie Dimes
RL Edgar Allen Poe
And of course all you fine ass people for doing that RP thang
What a ride CCP! Love you brother. All the congrats.
82-31-1
1x XWF Universal Champion || 3x XWF Xtreme Champion || 1x XWF Supercontinental Champion (First)
1x XWF Hart Champion (Last) || 2x XWF Television Champion || 1x XWF Tag Team Champion
1x OCW Savage Champion || 1x IIW Tag Team Champion || 1x AAW United States Champion
2x SOTM (9/20, 7/21) || 2021 Male Wrestler of the Year || XWF Hall of Legends
Jenny is damn near running through the back, the SS title clutched tightly to her chest.
Sarina has the door to the limo open ushering her on.
Ash Quinn is also in the limo, weirdly enough.
"COME ON, COME ON, GET IN!!!!"
Jenny jumps into the limo and the door shuts. The wheels screech as it peels out, hauling off the Hells Bells members.
Steve Sayors is running to the back, trying to catch up with Myst.
The limo is already gone.
SAYORS: LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, IT APPEARS JENNY MYST HAS TAKEN THE SHOOTING STAR TITLE HOSTAGE AFTER BECKY GAVE IT UP! WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?! STAY TUNED TO XWF PROGRAMMING AS WE TRY TO FIGURE THIS ALL OUT!
XWF FanBase: The IWC (gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)
Oswald is seen in the back with the BOBbies, popping bottles, streamers thrown around to celebrate both a new member and a champion at that!
"To all who worked on recruiting this man, I will say one thing!
PARTY AT MY COMPOUND! LET'S GO!"
He moved over to the side, and it seemed like he was straining as he opened up what seemed like a gateway, and as it does finally open wide, they can see the front door of his mansion.
"Got all the fuckin' food you'd ever want! All the drink! Let's celebrate, yeah!?"
He was sweating, not because of the match he went through, no. He had already gotten clean after his match, was in a fresh expensive suit. Forcing open a literal portal to somewhere that wasn't a pocket dimension was very strenuous on the big man. They could even hear some music being blasted throughout the mansion.
XWF FanBase: The IWC (gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)
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OOC- Wow. Just wow. First I have to throw some serious props to Thad on not only a great series for the Uni but an incredible run over the last six months. We told an amazing story, incorporated a lot of characters, and I couldn't be happier with the results win or lose. This is kind of a big big deal for me when you consider my trials and tribulations within the fed itself over the last 10-12 years. I was very hesitant to even come back in 2019 when Raven reached out... but I can safely say that this run that was only supposed to be a few months to work with Robert has taken me on a character ride for the last two years. Winning the Universal Title after coming close on the handful of times I've been given the shot cements my run in this game as I have now FINALLY won every title I've challenged for in this game spanning back to the email days (if there's anyone old enough to remember those good ole days).
The storytelling doesn't stop here... it only gets better. Stay tuned. I promise you a ride that will have you all invested.
- HALL OF LEGENDS 2019
- 2019 Heel of the Year
- 2019 Locker Room Leader of the Year
- 2019 Feud of the Year w. Robert Main (you’re welcome)
- Former
With Robert "The Omega" Main
XWF World Heavyweight Champion
What a fucking show. Huge congrats, Page! The last thing we needed was for you to get even more of an ego, but hell, you deserve it.
Awesome to see Betsy rewarded for the fantastic two months of work she has put in thus far. That tag title match was absolute insanity. And I don't know what twisted human being came up with that Blitz match, but...like, maybe lie down now? Have a bit of a nap? You have to be exhausted by now.
Congrats to Ruby on regaining the Anarchy belt. Tula got her comeupance from pretty much every angle, eh? I don't know if I like the idea of the Left Hand and BoB coming together to form an Enterprise of Super Villains. I'm not sure it's good for my health.
As for Holy Roman War Horse...
XWF Record - 214-100-9
XWF All Time Wins Record Holder
Official XWF Legend
3x XWF Anarchy Champion
3x XWF World Champion
8x XWF Canadian Champion (Record for most Canadian Title reigns)
1x XWF Hart Champion
6x XWF X-Treme Champion
5x XWF Tag Team Champion
2x XWF United States Champion
Inaugural XWF IDL Champion
1x XWF King of Anarchy
1x XWF King of Massacre
1x XWF Stable Champion
XWF Star Of The Month - May 2007
XWF Star Of The Month - July 2009
XWF Star Of The Month - December 2019
XWF Star Of The Month - December 2021
XWF Holiday Battle Royal Winner - 2007
Aww, Lycana & Coreys first kiss, on a PPV no less <3
Also... when did she start turning sexual? Bourbon!!! I'm blaming you!
I may have to just roll with it.....
In all seriousness, PHENOMENAL show! The matches and segs were outstanding! Congrats to all! It was great working with everybody, so many pulled out all the stops. I thoroughly enjoyed reading all the work put out for this PPV.
"Alias. Alias my boy. You better run cocaine and caffene because men like me will be waiting like a monster in your closet. Boogeyman under your bed. Mick Fowley in your head! Just make sure to pull out a life insurance policy and the best damn insurance you can afford because your life just got X-Treme! Oink, oink motherfucker!"
Great show, fellas and fellates (not the verb). There's been a lot of 'noise' lately, but this is the kind of stuff that truly matters: passionate people coming together, roleplaying their hearts out and putting on a great show.
I was pleasantly surprised by the outcome of my own match, since all three opponents did some great stuff within that Anarchy format. Telling a proper story and combining it with match talk etc. within a thousand words can be quite challenging, but all promos really delivered on most fronts. Thank you, and I hope we can continue to make Anarchy the fun, quirky show that it so often is. With this new dynamic and the return of You-Know-Who, I think that won't be too much of a problem!
Obviously, congrats to all the winners. Ruby's very proud of her man.
XWF FanBase: The IWC (gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)
XWF Roster Page
Joined: Sun Mar 17 2019
Posts: 313
246,929
Likes Given: 1,095
Likes Received: 886 in 247 posts
Hates Given: 2
Hates Received: 21 in 19 posts
Hates Given: 2
Hates Received: 21 in 19 posts
Reputation:
68 X-Bux: ✘96,221
Amazing show and big congrats to Edgar for winning the Hart Title! The amount of turnout for this show alone was insane and it's exciting to see how ready we are for March Madness! I hope we keep this momentum going because 2021 is off to a amazing start in the XWF!
"You can't run from yourself."
XWF
Wins | Losses | Draws
59 | 37 | 4
Indie Darling Eternal
#33 on The XWF Top 50(2021)
1x Tag Team Champion[with Isaiah King](Current)
2x (Former)
1x X-Treme Champion(Former)
The Final Supercontinental Champion
1x Television Champion(Former)
Star of the Month - April 2019 | March 2021 | December 2022
RP of the Month - March 2021 (Void of the Mind)
Winner - Leap Of Faith Rafter Match 2019
1x 24/7 Briefcase Holder
Winner - War Games 2023(With Mark Flynn, Isaiah King, & Crash Rodriguez as G00D-B01)
Previous Banners
All Time Career(Interfed)
Wins | Losses | Draws
61 | 39 | 4
The following 1 user Likes Ned Kaye's post:1 user Likes Ned Kaye's post Thunder Knuckles™ (02-01-2021)
HeavensToBetsy
Registered but either hasn't added self to a roster yet or doesn't RP
XWF FanBase: Some of everyone (cheered; very rarely plays dirty but isn't lame either; many likable qualities)
(Where is my roster page?)
Joined: Wed Nov 11 2020
Posts: 121
267,569
Likes Given: 472
Likes Received: 600 in 123 posts
Hates Given: 8
Hates Received: 8 in 8 posts
Hates Given: 8
Hates Received: 8 in 8 posts
Reputation:
32 X-Bux: ✘31,656
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