Alright, I was wondering what you guys think of this character i made since last year I've been on here.


Anybody's feedback or criticism's will work.


Also, anything i could improve Promo wise?


http://xwf99.com/showthread.php?tid=6206

http://xwf99.com/showthread.php?tid=6190&pid=22895#pid22895

http://xwf99.com/showthread.php?tid=6206&pid=22940#pid22940

One thing --

Make the text font smaller.

Just an idea.



The first and the third link go to... well, they're the second one.

And the second one is... the first one.

You need to fix your feedback post so that the links go to the right roleplays.



Also... in your second roleplay, you referred to a "character" and "writing"... I got in trouble for referring to "roleplays" and other stuff in-character... try to keep out-of-character things and in-character things seperate. Like, don't talk about "roleplays" or talk about how someone writes, because if this was real, they wouldn't be writing, ya know, they'd be talking. You gotta treat it like it's the guy actually talking in real life, in an interview or whatever, and keep out anything that might break that "reality"... if that makes any sense.


Like this part --

"You See, I posted on the boards not to long ago to a challenge"

It would have been better if you'd just said --

"You see, I made a challenge not too long ago..."

Cuz that would be what the character would actually say if it's real.

I hope that helps.



BTW-- Thought you might enjoy this, seeing what music video you had in your roleplay, It's a mash-up of Jay-Z & AC/DC :


[video=youtube]www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CaC629FxBE[/video]

Keep on rollin', dude.