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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Warfare Boards » Warfare Results
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Wednesday Night Warfare - 6/23/21
Author Message
SBW-SmokingBobWilliams Offline
XWF Management
Management Lv. 2

XWF FanBase:
Some of everyone

(cheered; very rarely plays dirty but isn't lame either; many likable qualities)

06-23-2021, 06:44 PM



From !!!

[Image: 1200px-United_States_Capitol_-_west_front.jpg]



- vs -



- vs -




- vs -

The Hart Title is hanging above Lincoln so the match starts in the ring, and the winner must climb Lincoln and grab the Hart Title


- vs -



[Image: S2wXAE9.png]

- vs -

The titles are hidden somewhere in the offices of the United States Senators. As a team both Disintegrators and Them No Good Bastards have to fight their way through the offices until one team finds the Tag Team Belts.


- vs -


[Image: JggTqeU.png]

[Image: 54VZjNs.png]

- vs -






From !!!

[Image: 1200px-United_States_Capitol_-_west_front.jpg]


At the White House on the arched driveway surrounding the south lawn, crimson red velvet carpets cover the surface. A number of medieval armored knights exit from the “backstage” area, lining the entrance way near the fountain. Their armor is shining silver and accented in gold.

Out on Pennsylvania Avenue, a large crimson colored carriage, drawn by four Clydesdale’s, its windows covered by curtains and the carriage itself escorted by D.C.’s finest on horseback, makes its way down the road. It makes a right turn onto the East Executive Avenue driveway. As it turns, you can clearly see the “KOTM” crest attached to the doors of the carriage.

The fans at the White House for Warfare cheer wildly.

HHL: Could it be!?

PIP: I don’t know, Heather! I’ve been contacting my sources since this began and no one seems to know anything!

Slowly but surely it makes its way down the drive and makes another right turn onto the maintenance road leading from the street to the circular driveway. Before long, the carriage and its escorts disappear behind the X-Tron to the backstage area.

The Universe begins to quiet in anticipation as the royal knights continue to stand guard along the ramp.

HHL: Is he in that carriage!?

PIP: I don’t know, Heather! If it’s who we think it is, it’s gigantic news!

A small brass band dressed in what looks to be royal regalia in crimson clothing, patterned in gold emerges from backstage.

The band plays their royal announcement, before stepping aside and the stage and grounds lighting fades to black.

HHL: Pip!

PIP: Heather!


PIP: Well, after Leap of Faith, Thaddeus Duke issued a not-so-cryptic challenge to a former star of the XWF!

HHL: I think he’s here to respond, Pip!

Several moments of silence after the band stands aside from the entrance stage. Continuing to build their own anticipation, the crowd breaks into chant:


With the stage and grounds still darkened and as the crowd chants:

HHL: A welcome from the Universe, befitting of the legend!

PIP: These fans are going nuts!

After several more moments of silence…


An “Eleanor Rigby” cover plays over the sound system.

If there was a roof, it would’ve just blown off by the response from the Universe.




Up on the X-Tron…

[Image: WyUqACy.gif]

Seeing Flynn’s old nickname on the X-Tron, the fans again come unglued.

A spotlight lights up the stage illuminating a crowned man with dark hair. He wears a white robe with “King of the Midcarders” in gold on its back, outlined in black.

HHL: Waaaait a minute!

PIP: What!?

HHL: That’s!….

The man turns around as gold stage lighting turns up, revealing himself as…

[Image: 3xW3K6v.gif]

HHL: Aww hell!

PIP: Well shit! Fucker got us all didn’t he?

Wearing the LionHART Championship firmly around his waist stands Thaddeus Duke. Paul Heyman emerges from backstage and he and Thad make their way toward the ring. In a bit of a change, some portions of the crowd actually boo Thad for fooling them all.

Thad can’t stop himself from laughing a bit at the reaction he’s getting from the crowd as he enters the ring. Once in the ring, he peels the championship from himself and folds the straps behind it before giving it a kiss and handing it to Paul Heyman.

Heyman then retrieves a mic from his jacket.

I told you they’d boo you, Heyman says before handing the mic to Thad.

Man... Thad soaks in the mixed reaction a bit. Y’all really swallowed that one hook, line and sinker didn’t you? Well, you should be booing Paul because that was his idea, Thad begins. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Thad says to the crowd as he fails to contain his laughter.

I realize that absence makes the heart grow fonder but c’mon! That was the LOUDEST reaction Mark Flynn ever got and he can thank me later.

See, I know he saw my challenge. A little birdie told me as much and as yet, the man has not uttered a single word. Look Mark, call Vinnie, he’ll give you my number.

The crowd is still in an uproar with many still booing Thad.

Y’all wanna see Mark Flynn again or not? he asks of the capacity crowd.

The booing turns to cheers as he continues to build up their hopes.

Well so do I… but when someone isn’t responding like you want, you gotta try and get their attention in other ways and… look, I know that was a cruel joke for me to pull on you guys but Duke Nation… do you NOT want to see Thaddeus Duke go at it with Mark Flynn?

The crowd psychologist continues to build the hype and the Universe responds in kind.

Well if we work together, he’ll have no choice but to say yes and believe me when I tell you, I want that match too. And fuck the Hart title because this challenge to Mark Flynn, has absolutely nothing to do with that title.

I want Mark Flynn in this ring whether I have that gold or not.

XWF Universe: ANSWER HIMMM FLYYYYNN! clap clap clapclapclap

I know I had y’all goin’ but I can’t do this without you, Thad says, continuing to quickly rebuild his reputation.

I’ve been calling myself the King of the Midcarders for the last few weeks and Mark, I know you’re listening. You and I both know you were a hell of a lot more than a midcard talent. Hell, god knows I passed the midcards up a LONG LONG time ago.

I’mma use it to get what I want, but I’m the King of Every God Damn Thing.

Listen to these fans Mark. You haven’t been seen in years and still they clamor to see you. They clamor for one last trip around the block with the man that catapulted the Duke name into the stratosphere… by losing.

Thad smirks.

Imagine the chance I’m giving you Mark. I’m giving you the chance to redeem yourself for your own failure.

Thad’s Hitman theme plays over the sound system as he exits the ring to far more fanfare than he had when he kicked off this thing. On his way up the ramp, he slaps some hands as is the norm. Thad stops on stage looking out over the masses, taking in their chants as the camera comes in real close to him.



They want us to party, Flynn! And there ain’t no party like a Duke Nation party, bay bay!

Thad and Heyman retreat backstage.


- vs -


Steven Cooper walks onto the steps of the capitol building as his music plays off of a loudspeaker placed next to the capitol steps.

As the opening riff of "Hart Attack" roared through the area the crowd jumped to their feet as Vita ran onto the capitol steps. Vita walked up and down the steps in a zigzag pattern as she tried her best to get the crowd riled. Once she returned to the bottom of the steps, Vita struck her infamous "Arnold pose" to the crowds' delight!

The two competitors begin to approach each other from across the steps of the capitol building. Vita and Cooper are unsure of their footing while walking horizontally across the grand staircase, but they get the hang of it pretty quickly! Cooper and Vita meet in the lower middle half of the stairs before they start duking it out! Cooper and Vita exchange lefts, rights, and uppercuts with neither one willing to give an inch!

PC: These two are starting off with a bang!

HHL: It’s like the capitol riots all over again!

Vita gets the upper hand following a well placed gut punch to her taller opponent. Cooper leans over and clutches his stomach only to be met with a knee to the face! Cooper grabs his face as he stumbles backwards on the steps, miraculously keeping his footing….but not for long! Vita quickly finishes the combination with a sweep of the legs that sends Cooper flying down to the ground!

PC: Vita is hot off of that run with the 24/7 belt, and she’s showing everyone that she still has a championship pedigree!

HHL: Cooper needs to get his act together, and quick!

Vita Valenteen gesticulates as she rallies the audience to her side. The crowd is chanting her name as she taps her elbow and jumps down the stairs towards Cooper!



Cooper slides out of the way as Vita dives onto the steps! Vita howls in pain as her elbow slams onto the steps of the capitol building. Cooper rolls out of the way before pushing himself up to his feet. Cooper wipes an ocean of sweat off of his face before approaching his downed foe. Steven begins laying stiff boots to the woman’s arm and elbow before Vita herself is able to roll away down the staircase.

PC: Cooper has turned the tides here!

HHL: Vita did it to herself with all that showboating for the fans!

Vita goes to push herself to her feet, but as she does so her right arm buckles beneath the weight of her body.

PC: That elbow is going to be sore for a few days!

HHL: More like a few weeks...or months! Those steps are made to be everlasting!

Cooper is quick to approach her and drive a boot straight into her face. Vita slows down substantially as blood begins to drip out of her nose. Cooper picked Vita up by her hair with a smirk on his face….only to be met with an armdrag out of nowhere! Both Vita and Cooper go tumbling down to the bottom of the stairs as she executes the armdrag in front of the capitol building!

PC: Vita will do anything to win!

HHL: I’m not sure throwing herself down the staircase was the best decision here, Pip!

PC: You need to think like a wrestler! She needed to change the momentum up, BIG TIME, because Cooper was planning to make an Eobard Stone out of here!

HHL:.....what does that even mean?

PC: The real tag team wrestling fans will get it!

Cooper and Vita both play dead at the bottom of the stairs for a good deal of time. Slowly the pair begin to stir. Vita rolls over onto her stomach as Cooper sits up. The two competitors make incidental eye contact before staring at each other with disdain. The two rise to their feet while making snide remarks towards each other. Steven gestures for Vita to bring it on, and she obliges. Vita charges straight at Steven Cooper with balled fists as he brings his hands up into a defensive position.


Vita Valenteen brings her legs up and, much to Cooper’s surprise, hits him with a running Enzuigiri that slacks his jaw! Cooper and Vita fall to the ground beneath the steps of the capitol before Vita rolls Steven over and goes for the pin!




PC: That was close!

HHL: Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades, Pip! It doesn’t mean jack in wrestling!

Vita pushes herself up to her hands and her knees. Vita takes a few seconds inhale and exhale deeply as she wipes the blood off her nose. Vita grabs Cooper by the shoulders and tries to lift him up, but the aged veteran has already stirred! Cooper punches Vita in the cooter! Vita groans in pain and keels over before Steven Cooper shoots up to his feet!


HHL: The Super Trooper Cooper doesn’t play fair! He’s as petty and opportunistic as they come!

PC: Don’t let it end like this!

Steven Cooper grabs a hold of Vita Valenteen before leaning her forward and jumping up off the staircase near him with a makeshift tornado DDT!



More blood pours down Vita’s face as an exhausted Steven Cooper rolls her over on the steps of the capitol. Steven hooks the leg.





Thad and Frankie Duke, along with Paul Heyman are backstage at the Capitol after Thad’s earlier escapades on the White House grounds. In the “hallway” before entering their private trailer, they stop.

Believe me, he saw it! Paul says as he leans against the wall.

How can you be sure? Thad asks. He hasn’t been in the company in five or six years. I feel like that might have been a gigantic waste of time.

You know yourself Thaddeus, Paul begins to explain. If someone mentions your name, or you hear that someone mentioned you, you’re gonna take a look. It’s in the egomaniac fibers.

So you think Mark saw it then?

Frankie interrupts. I think I saw Robbie earlier. Can we go see him?

If he hasn’t yet, trust me… he will soon enough.

Alright Frankie, let’s go. Paul has some shit to do.


Thad and Frankie disappear between a row of trailers as Paul retreats inside. Not only does Paul Heyman serve as Thaddeus Duke’s traditional wrestling manager, he also serves as his personal business manager and earns every red cent of the massive salary Thad pays him.

A knock comes from the other side of his door.

Yeah? Paul replies to the knock and a man enters his makeshift office. Heyman looks up from his work. Morbid fucking Angel! he says with a smile. He comes around his desk and shakes the mans hand. How the hell are ya?

I am doing fine so. The lord has graced me with the power of Victory through his light.

Well its good to see you again, Morbs. What can I do for you?

So, me and the lord have spoken and decided that it is time for me and the young Thad to have a match. I prayed on it for a while and decided it’s time.

Well look, as you know his schedule fills up fast, Paul begins to explain to him. He’s supposed to be on set for ‘Department 17’ the next couple weeks so I’m not sure if we can fit you in, but I’ll tell you what.

Give me a half hour to see what I can do with his schedule, and come back and see me at the Smithsonian.

Seemingly satisfied with Paul’s willingness to give him the match he desires, Morbid Angel leaves Heyman’s office and we fade back to commentary.


- vs -



PC: "Welcome to the Smithsonian, where North Korean War Criminal and former Shooting Star Champion, Betsy Granger, are set to square off!"

HHL: "And if this match wasn't already special enough, we've added a VERY special referee in the form of TV's own, Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan!"

The fans in attendance cheer on the TV star who waves from inside the ring as North Korean War Criminal's music hits.

NKWC walks in perfect step to the tune of the North Korean National Anthem, wielding a ceremonial sword and immaculate military uniform. A wondrous orchestra of True Koreans trumpet out the beautiful melody any man could ever hear. Two cadets walk several paces after him wielding the glorious flag of True Korea, wavering majestically overhead, leading the way to a brighter future for all mankind. Wherever he is, the True Leader of the Free World, Kim Jong Un sheds a single of tear of pride for the Greatest Warrior on the Planet, aside from himself.

NKWC sheds off the jacket of his military uniform and walks up the steps into the ring. The cadets catch the jacket and without letting it or the flag hit the ground and touching filthy North American soil, quietly scurry back up the ramp.

PC: "I'd say he marches to the beat of his own drum, but that's a crime where he's from so I'll save him the trouble!"

HHL: "Not funny."

PC: "I never said it was!"

As part of their intro music walk-up into the Smithsonian, both competitors had to walk through a metal detector.

Betsy has no problem passing through it. NKWC keeps having it go off and has to give up all of his hidden weapons, (brass knuckles, crowbar, lead pipe, second pair of brass knuckles, solid golden bust of Kim Jong Un).

As the opening notes begin, the lights go out, save for a single spotlight on the top of the stage. Betsy comes out, but she’s only a silhouette at this point. Just as the drum strikes it’s second note, Betsy dabs and the lights come back. The song starts from the refrain as Betsy starts dancing down the ramp.

PC: "And here comes Betsy Granger, lookin' as good as ever!"

HHL: "She's gotta be pumped to be here in the historic Smithsonian, I know I am!"

“Sin City’s cold and empty
No one’s around to judge me
I can’t see clearly when your gone-one-one”

Arms out, Betsy begins twirling around wildly, blonde ponytail whipping about with her, as she slaps hands with fans on both sides of the ramp. The chorus hits just as Betsy baseball slides into the ring.

“And I said ooooh, I’m blinded by the lights
I can’t sleep until I feel your touch
And I said ooooh, I’m drowning in the night
Oh, when I’m like this, you’re the one I trust”

As the chorus chimes on, Betsy bounces up and hops up onto every ring corner, pumping her fist and bobing her head in time with the song, getting the fans amped up for the upcoming bout. When she finishes playing up the fans, she starts bouncing in place, preparing mentally for the bout before being ordered to her corner by Dr. Bones.

PC: "It would appear Bones is enforcing every little inch of the rules, from making the competitors start in their corners to checking them for foreign objects!"

HHL: "I wouldn't expect any less from her."

Bones finishes her thorough inspection of Betsy, before heading across the ring to check her opponent. North Korean War Criminal objects in Korean, but the doctor warns him she'll throw the match out right then and there if he doesn't oblige.

HHL: "If I didn't know any better, I'd say North Korean War Criminal's hiding something!"

PC: "He's just not used to seeing a woman in a position of power, that's all! After 60+ years of being ruled by men named Kim, you'd be confused, too!"

NKWC gives in, rolling his eyes and spreading his arms for Dr. Bones. She pats him down, making sure to inspect every last inch of the War Criminal. Eventually she gets down to his boots, where she reaches in and pulls out some sort of crowbar!

HHL: "I knew it!"

Dr. Bones admonishes NKWC, letting him know she has every right to DQ him right there. He shrugs, showing no sign of remorse, as Betsy comes over and insists she wants the match to happen. Rather than give her what she wants, Bones gives Granger hell for not staying in her corner!

PC: "Is this match ever gonna start?!"

HHL: "That's up to Dr. Bones."

The doctor threatens to DQ Betsy if she doesn't wait for the bell, causing her to go back and rest against the corner. Bones then heads back over to North Korean War Criminal, raises his hand in the air, and yells out "ONE POINT! ONE POINT!"

PC: "Did she just dock the War Criminal a point?!?"

HHL: "I believe she did."

PC: "Do we even GIVE points???"

HHL: "We do not, but good luck telling her that!"

Dr. Bones finishes her inspection of North Korean War Criminal, giving everyone a thumbs up as she heads back to the center of the ring. Rather than call for the bell, though, she motions for both wrestlers to join her. They stand in their corners, hesitant they might get in trouble for leaving, which only irritates the Special Referee more.

PC: "Maybe she should make up her mind! Does she want them in the corners, or not?!"

Bones waves her hands furiously, prompting North Korean War Criminal and Betsy Granger to step forward. The two give each other a staredown while Dr. Bones goes over the rules as if some sort of boxing match.

BONES: "Alright, we went over the rules in the back. I want a good, CLEAN fight without any shenanigans. Touch gloves if you want, and come out swinging!"

PC: "They're not even wearing gloves!"

Betsy offers a friendly handshake but North Korean War Criminal turns his back to her and heads back for his corner. Dr. Bones shakes Granger's hand before sending her back into the corner. She points to NKWC and asks him if he's ready, before doing the same to Betsy. Both of them respond with a resounding, and obviously annoyed, "YES!", causing her to FINALLY call for the bell!

PC: "It's about time!"

The moment the match starts, NKWC lays down, prone on the floor.

Betsy stares at him suspiciously. NKWC looks up and smiles and opens his jacket...
revealing a B.o.B. shirt!

"Another Free Win from your friends at B.o.B."

Betsy becomes furious and bends over to lift NKWC off the ground, but NKWC reverses the grab and pretzels her into a pin! Inside Cradle!

Near fall. Then the match starts.

Betsy and North Korean War Criminal tie-up in the center of the ring, with Granger getting the upper hand with a quick Headlock. The War Criminal grabs onto her hair and tries to walk her back to the ropes, but Dr. Bones is right there to slap his hand, causing him to let go.

HHL: "Bones is a straight shooter, she's not gonna take kindly to even the slightest of rule bending."

PC: "So we've seen."

North Korean War Criminal wraps his arms around Granger's waist and drops them back to the ropes, using them to catapult Betsy forward towards the other side. On the rebound, he attempts a Shoulder Block, only for Granger to avoid it with a 360 spin that allows her to end up behind her opponent. NKWC then turns around, where he's met with a surprise Backdrop Kick that knocks him to the mat. Betsy drops down and hooks a leg for the cover as Dr. Bones pulls off one of the most fair looking counts of all time.




PC: "If it wasn't for all the other BS, I'd suggest hiring Bones as a full-time ref!"

HHL: "That certainly was a perfectly timed count!"

Out of the pin attempt, Betsy maneuvers herself so she can lock in a Sleeper Hold, wrapping her legs tightly around North Korean War Criminal for a body scissors. Granger squeezes her arm around NKWC's throat, choking the life out of him 'til Dr. Bones steps in.

BONES: "No, no, NO! 1.................. 2.................. 3.................."

Betsy doesn't understand the issue, so she keeps the hold locked in until Dr. Bones bends down and grabs at her arm. Granger lets go and stands up, arguing with the guest referee.

HHL: "It sounds like the doctor's claiming Betsy had a choke, as opposed to a hold!"

PC: "What's the difference???"

Betsy and Bones go back and forth for a second, allowing North Korean War Criminal enough time to get up and attack Granger from behind. Bones gives him hell for it, but he ignores her and begins stomping away at his opponent.

HHL: "Apparently THIS is okay?"

PC: "Hey, it's not the War Criminal's fault Betsy turned her back to him!"

HHL: "You're right, it's the ref's."

PC: "You wanna tell HER that?"

HHL: "I'm good."

North Korean War Criminal pulls Granger to her feet and Whips her for the ropes. On the way back, NKWC goes for a Hip Toss but Betsy reverses it into an Arm Drag that sends him into the turnbuckles. Granger gets to her feet and traps her opponent in the corner, causing him to weep, which forces Bones to, once again, step in. As she makes Betsy back up, North Korean War Criminal steps forward and delivers an Eye Poke that somehow goes unnoticed by the ref. Betsy backs away, grabbing at her eye, as Dr. Bones looks on in confusion.

HHL: "Does she REALLY not understand what just happened?!"

PC: "It's only cheating if you get caught, Heather! For all she knows, Betsy's got some serious pollen allergies!"

HHL: "We're INDOORS!!!"

PC: "OK, pet dander, same thing."

North Korean War Criminal charges at Betsy, who is able to see enough out of her other eye to drop him with a Reverse Roundhouse. Betsy takes a moment to gain sight back in her other eye before laying across her opponent for a cover.




PC: "Her counts are consistent, I'll give her that!"

Betsy reaches for the War Criminal, but he manages to roll out of the ring to safety before she can grab him. Granger looks o exit the ring, as well, but Dr. Bones steps in her way.

HHL: "It'd be nice to see her enforce the rules on BOTH competitors."

Betsy throws her arms up and waits patiently as Bones begins a 10 count for North Korean War Criminal. He takes full advantage of it, waiting until the count of 9 to climb up onto the apron. As soon as he does, Granger steps around the referee and yanks him back into the ring, getting scolded for her trouble.

PC: "At this point I think Betsy's tuning Bones out!"

HHL: "Can't say I blame her."

Granger lets her dazed opponent get up on his own before connecting with a beautiful Hurricanrana Driver that leaves North Korean War Criminal out on the mat. Betsy lays over top of him and hooks a leg in an attempt to end the match.



FOOT ON THE ROPE!!!!!!!!!!

Bones points to NKWC's foot, causing Betsy to drag him away from the ropes and attempt another cover.




HHL: "I'm not sure the War Criminal knows where he is."

PC: "Well it ain't Korea, I can tell you that!"

Betsy goes for an Indian Deathlock, but the War Criminal is able to slip out of it and Knee her in the face. With his opponent stunned, NKWC goes to hoist her up into his version of a Jackhammer, but his lack of strength causes them both to fall into Dr. Bones, knocking her down with them!

HHL: "Bones is down!"

PC: "One of them needs to hurry up and win before she finds more rules violations to call them out on!"

North Korean War Criminal slides out of the ring, heads over to an Asian fan in the front row, and asks for his chair. Upon realizing the fan is of South Korean descent, NKWC slaps the shit out of him and steals his chair before turning back to the ring and climbing back in.

PC: "This wasn't exactly what I had in mind, but whatever works!"

The War Criminal waits for Betsy to get up before swinging the chair at her. Granger is able to duck under it and Kick the chair into her opponent's face, causing him to curl up into a ball and cry. She picks the chair up and goes to dispose of it like the fan favorite she is. Unfortunately for her, Dr. Bones is back up, just in time to see NKWC on the ground grabbing his face and her holding a weapon, leaving her no choice but to disqualify Betsy.

Winner- North Korean War Criminal via DQ

PC: "Bones just disqualified Betsy!"

HHL: "Are you kidding me?!??!"

Betsy argues her point with the ref, but Bones points to her eyes, followed by the chair and downed War Criminal. Granger tosses the chair aside and climbs out of the ring, her hands on her hips in frustration.

HHL: "I don't blame her for being upset, this one falls 100% on Bones."

PC: "You gotta imagine she'll be kicking herself once she sees the replay, but the ref's decision is final and North Korean War Criminal IS your winner!"

Morbid Angel arrives at the “backstage” area of the Smithsonian searching the office area for Heyman’s office. Down the hall he goes before he starts swinging doors open just in case its not labeled with a placard.

HHL: Earlier tonight back on the Capitol grounds, Morbid Angel confronted Paul Heyman in hopes of gaining a match with the Hart Champion Thaddeus Duke.

PIP: Current Hart Champion, Heather. He still needs to get through Ariel Dixon tonight!

Meanwhile, still opening doors, Morbid Angel makes his way down the offices and stops at one particular door, bursting it wide open.



Morbid quickly closes the door.

They were like moldy pepperonis! Morbid thinks aloud as he makes his way down the hall, finally coming to a door with the placard appropriately labeled: DUKE

He knocks lightly before entering. Inside the office, Paul has his back turned toward Morbid Angel.

How the hell are ya!?

Uhhhh I’m good. I’m here about that match against Thad. you said you’d look into it for me...well?

That’s fantastic!

Sure it is. What did you guys come up with? Do we battle for gold or for victory?

It’s time to get to the plane, Thad!

Morbid Angel scrunches his face up in confusion.

What the fuck are you talking about?

You tell that son of a bitch that Thaddeus Duke doesn’t work Saturdays!

Again, Morbid Angel is confused. He steps around Paul’s desk and spins the chair around revealing some dude that just looks similar to Paul Heyman.

Who the fuck are you? You’re not Paul! Speak or i’ll send you to Hell!

My name’s Ted! the older gentleman says in fear. I-I-I’m a janitor!

Where the hell is Paul Heyman?

I-I-I don’t know! I was given a thousand bucks to sit here and hit play after someone spoke!

Morbid Angels sighs a deep sigh.


He looks out the office window and notices Thaddeus Duke’s motorcade departing from the Smithsonian. Quickly, Morbid Angel rushes from the office and down the hallway. He runs down the steps and bursts through the exit doors as Duke’s motorcade rounds a corner and is out of sight.

Just then, a hipster on a Segway rolls by and Morbid shoves the guy off his device.

Sorry! Official XWF business! He shouts as the guy lands with a thud on the concrete. Morbid Angel now gives chase to Thaddeus Duke’s motorcade… on a segway.

Fade back to the announcers.

HHL: It seems like Paul Heyman is playing games with Morbid Angel!

PIP: He doesn’t want his client anywhere near Morbid Angel and that’s FEAR!

HHL: Come off it Pip! You don’t have to like him but saying Thaddeus Duke fears anyone is just beyond stupid.


- vs -

The Hart Title is hanging above Lincoln so the match starts in the ring, and the winner must climb Lincoln and grab the Hart Title

[Image: ijeifpW.jpg]

HHL: We’re back here on Warfare, LIVE from the Lincoln Memorial and in just a moment, Thaddeus Duke will defend the XWF Hart Championship for the very first time and tonight, he goes one on one with the young upstart, Ariel Dixon.

PIP: That’s right Heather. At Leap of Faith, Thaddeus Duke bested Ned Kaye in a hellacious match up to become the new Hart Champion, and right now he’ll do whatever he can to hang on to it!

HHL: He’ll need to, Rel Dixon is as crazy as they come and this match will NOT be for the feint of heart.

The camera fades to the Lincoln Memorial. A silhouette of a person is shown standing near the reflecting pool at the National Mall. Switching cameras to the side of the silhouette, Rel Dixon herself is revealed with only the front of her lit as she begins a slow walk toward the steps of the Memorial. She takes each step slowly, but with pride and confidence as she reaches the top.

Switching cameras again to behind Rel, a dimly lit man in a crown sits a throne just in front of the statue of the Great Liberator, Abraham Lincoln. Rel stops at the top of the steps as she stares across the memorial toward her opponent.

Thaddeus lifts his crowned head to meet her gaze as she walks forward. She comes to a stop a few feet in front of the throne. Thaddeus stands and holds his arms out while a brass ring lowers to his level from somewhere above Abe Lincoln. Paul Heyman then enters from stage right and behind to remove Thad’s King of the Midcarders robe. Paul drapes it over his own arm before removing the crown from Thaddeus’s head.

Stepping behind Thad, Heyman removes the Hart Championship from his waist before attaching it to the brass ring. The ring lifts itself high above Lincoln as Thaddeus retakes his sit in the throne. Looking at Rel, he gives her a two fingered ‘come here’ motion.

”Approach, peasant.” he instructs her.

HHL: Thaddeus Duke, clearly playing some mind games tonight with Rel Dixon!

PIP: He’s adopted this King of the Midcarders thing to get under the skin of XWF Legend, Mark Flynn. If he’s not careful, this might come back to bite him on the ass.

”Um… what?” Rel asks.

”I said approach,” he repeats and Rel steps forward a couple feet. Thaddeus stands in front of her. At 6 foot 1 compared to her 5 foot 4, he towers over her. ”Kneel.”

Rel looks at him a bit confused.

”I said kneel,” he repeats. Slowly, Rel Dixon goes down to one knee. Thaddeus steps forward and gently places the palm of his right hand on top of Rel Dixon’s head.

”Rel Dixon,” he begins. ”By the power vested in me as King of the...” Duke stops in his tracks as his eyes grow wide and his face turns a shade of red. Thad starts screaming as the camera zooms out, revealing Rel Dixon with a tight fisted handful of the Hart Champion’s junk.

PIP: The crown jewels are in a death grip!

HHL: Lucky woman!

Out of desperation, Thad sends a hard knee into Rel’s head, forcing her to release his junk. She grunts as she falls sideways while Thad clutches the baby makers and falls forward to his knees then lies on the red velvet carpet.

With Thad down and out and nursing himself, Rel gets back to her feet, shaking off the cobwebs from the vicious knee strike. Eyeballing the Champion as if he were prey, she runs toward Thad’s throne and uses it as a spring board to hop up to the lap of Lincoln only to dive off backwards.

As Thad struggles to his feet, he turns around just in time to catch Rel’s moonsault, sending him crashing into the hard floor below him with Rel Dixon on top of him. Rel gets back to her feet and starts laying the boots to the defending champion. Stomp after stomp, kick after kick keeps him grounded.

HHL: He’s a hard man to beat, Pip. This is sound strategy for Rel to work quickly and keep him down!

PIP: Rel Dixon has came to the so-called House That Duke Built to take that gold and as of right now, she’s well on her way.

Thaddeus is reeling and trying to crawl away as Rel Dixon continues to throw stomps and kicks in his direction, impacting his ribs and back along his retreat line. Using one of the stone columns, Thad gets back to his feet and leans against it as Rel comes charging in with a jumping knee lift. Thad though, side steps at the last second causing Rel to drive her knee into the granite column and she falls to the floor with a thud.

Behind the column, a steel barricade separates the two combatants from various available weapons to use. Rel lies on the floor nursing her aching knee and beating on it to get the blood flow going again. Thad grabs a steel chair and folds it up with a snap before bringing it crashing down against Rel’s injured leg.

”SHOW ME YOU EVEN WANT THIS!” Thad shouts at his opponent.

In response, Rel kicks her legs wildly toward Thad’s knees, but Thad brings the chair down against her leg again. She writhes in pain for a second before trying to get up. Duke then swings the chair, ringing it across Rel’s back. She arches backward for a second before falling to her knees near the steps. Thad, stalking her like a lion stalks injured prey, follows close behind. She cranes her neck to find him behind her as he uses his boot to shove her in the back and cause her to tumble down the steps of the memorial.

Thaddeus slowly makes his way down the steps, dragging the chair against the steps as he goes. He stops midway down and bends over, still nursing his aching manhood. Rel is still in retreat as she rolls to a stop after her tumble down the stairs and starts to crawl her way toward the reflecting pool. Thad resumes stalking her down the steps and on the walkway toward the pool. Coming to the edge of the pool, Rel is out of real estate.

Thad unfolds the chair and sets it up. He reaches down and grabs Rel Dixon by her hair and violently sets her in it. He backs off several feet before getting a full head of steam. Reacting quickly, Rel leaps from the chair and sends a dropkick to Thad’s knee taking his legs out from under him and sending him head first into the seat of the now empty chair.

Thaddeus though is back up quickly as he tries to shake the pain from the side of his head. Taking his lack of attention and using it to her advantage, Rel grabs the chair and quickly folds it up with a snap before swinging it into Thad’s arm.


She swings again, impacting his chest.


She swings again, and again hitting him in the chest as he keeps absorbing the blows.


Continuing to absorb the blows, Rel swings and he turns, this time the chair impact his shoulder.


This time, Rel drives the blunt edge of the bent up chair into Thad’s midsection.


We all expected Rel to bring it down across Thad’s back, but instead, she swings side arm sending the chair into the top of the head of the bent over Hart Champion.


Thad staggers backward, then falls into the reflecting pool. Rel, catching her breath, stares at the choppy water toward the sunken champion before letting out a bit of a cackle and turning to head toward Lincoln. Rel limps her way back toward the steps, still feeling the effects of the chair shots to the knee from earlier in the contest.

The camera switches to the reflecting pool as Thaddeus Duke rises from his watery grave and climbs out of the pool soaked from head to toe. Despite his ring gear being white, we here at the XWF have used creative license and modern technology so that Thad’s soaked white ring gear is NOT transparent at this time.

On the walk way, he grips his aching side as he chases after Rel Dixon. Meanwhile, Rel has reached the top of the steps as she continues to limps toward Honest Abe. Using Thad’s throne for a boost, she hops into Abe’s lap and begins her climb toward instant stardom and the Hart Championship.

Meanwhile, Thaddeus is closing quickly but gingerly with his ailing ribs. Shaking away the pain, like Rel earlier tonight, he uses the throne as a spring board to hop into Abe’s lap. His boots being wet though, he just about slips and falls back. Being the naturally gifted athlete that he is, he recovers quickly as Rel is about an arms length away from the Hart Championship as she clings to Lincoln’s head.

Steadying herself, she rights herself on top of the head and manages to get a finger tip on the Hart title before it swings out of her reach. Thaddeus though, climbing the front of Lincoln, grabs a hold of her foot as she tries to reach again and she nearly plummets off of the sixteenth president. Using his feet to climb up and his hands in a death grip on Rel Dixon, Thad starts to tug on Rel in order to stop her. Knowing her opponent is far stronger than she, Rel plants a vicious kick to the top of the champions head. Still, he refuses to let go. Rel then delivers another vicious stomp to Thad’s head causing him to break his grip.

With nothing to hold on to, Thad falls from Lincoln, landing on Abe’s arm before rolling off the side toward the floor. With an amazing grip, he clings to Abe’s arm with just a hand as Rel continues to reach for the dangling, swinging Hart Championship which is still just out of her reach. Finally, she leaps off of Abe’s head toward the title and grips the strap.

HHL: Rel Dixon! She might do it!

PIP: She hangs perilously from the XWF Hart Championship!

With Rel Dixon now swinging from the Hart title suspended above and a little in front of Lincoln, Thaddeus feels his title slipping through his fingers and wills himself to swing out and throw his right leg over Lincoln’s arm. Pulling himself up the arm, he spies Rel still hanging and tugging on the strap. Quickly, he bounds up Abe’s shoulder and hops to Lincoln’s head. He goes to leap off for perhaps a tackle, or a spear like maneuver, but again, his boots are slick from his dip into the reflecting pool and he nearly slips.

Noticing she’s not any closer to unsnapping the strap and with Thaddeus just feet away from her, she takes advantage of his near slip and fall and swings herself toward him. As she nears, she wraps her legs around his head and lets go of the Hart title before taking Thaddeus off the top of Abraham Lincoln and down beside the statue through some stacked tables below.

HHL: Both Dixon and Duke are down!

PIP: The defending champion definitely took the brunt of that fall!

With both champion and challenger down amid the table debris, Rel Dixon is the first to regain motion. Crawling off of Thad and out of the table debris, she slowly makes it back to her feet and once again begins to climb the president. Just as she throws her leg over Abe’s arm, Thaddeus rolls out of the table debris to his stomach before staggering to his feet. Duke takes a quick moment to shake the cobwebs before he searches for and finds Rel Dixon as she gets to her feet on Lincoln’s arm.

She makes her way up Abe’s shoulder and just as she does, a leftover smear of Thad’s water causes her to slip and crotch herself on the statue.

HHL: Oh she feels like she was just split in half!

PIP: But she doesn’t even have any...

HHL: First of all numb nuts, there’s still bone in there and secondly, she challenged Thaddeus Duke to this match and has been game the entire match. That’s plenty of balls.

With Rel Dixon straddled on Lincoln’s shoulder, it gives Thaddeus time to climb up and come up behind her. Balancing himself on the shoulder, he grabs a handful of Rel’s hair. From behind, he begins to pull her to her feet. She wraps her hands around his wrist for stability before letting go and driving a surprise back elbow into Thad’s chin. It stuns him for a second, but he doesn’t release his grip on Rel’s hair and she drives another elbow into his face. This one rocks him backward and he lets go of her hair. He staffers back and nearly falls off of Lincoln as Rel tries to climb Lincoln’s head again.

Using Lincoln’s ear to plant her foot, she starts to lift herself to the top of Abe’s head. Thaddeus dives though, slapping Rel in her plant foot. Rel swings outward and nearly falls, but has a death grip on Abe’s head as she dangles from the front. Thaddeus hops from Abe’s shoulder to the top of his head and takes a second to balance himself and he looks down at Rel while lightly placing his boot across her fingers.

Looking up at Thad as she hangs there, trying and failing to grip her feet on anything, she shakes her head at him, asking him not to. A moment later, he stomps on her right hand and it gives way with her hanging onto Abe’s head with only her left. Thad moves over to her left hand and places his boot on her fingers and is ready to stomp and lifts his foot before stopping himself. Instead, he front flips off the top of Lincoln’s head and over Rel Dixon. On his way down, he grabs her by the sides and delivers a Sunset Flip power bomb off of Lincoln down through the “throne” from earlier.

Thad, standing atop Lincoln’s lap looks down at the motionless Rel Dixon for a moment before climbing up the front of the president and steadying himself on top of the head before reaching up and retrieving the Hart Championship.


HHL: Thaddeus Duke retains the Hart Championship here on Warfare!

PIP: Rel Dixon has nothing to be ashamed of tonight!

HHL: She doesn’t! She fought hard and she fought well but in the end, it just wasn’t her night!

After climbing off of the statue, Thaddeus drapes the Hart title over his shoulder as he makes his way to the front where Rel Dixon lies amid the busted up throne. He mouths some words in her direction as she lies there looking up at him.

HHL: Thaddeus Duke, offering words of encouragement toward his challenger tonight!

Thad holds his hand out toward Rel but she hesitates a moment before grabbing his hand. The Hart Champion helps her to her feet before giving her a big friendly hug.

HHL: Rel Dixon came to fight tonight on Warfare and the champion recognizes that.

PIP: I’m often a Thad Duke detractor, but this display of sportsmanship toward Rel Dixon just warms my tiny little heart.


- vs -


We fade to the Jefferson Memorial…

[Image: 1200px-Jefferson_Memorial_Factbook.jpg]

A massive crowd has gathered around the Memorial where on one side of the opening Centurion emerges and across through the people steps Demos.

HHL: We are set for a fight at the Jefferson Memorial- the only way to win is to throw your opponent in the basin! It’s Centurion versus Demos… and it is now!

Pip: I wonder when Demos will just shut his mouth and stop with all these challenges. Dude really needs to focus on himself rather than who is going to beat him next.[/week]

Demos and Centurion are shown spouting out some smack talk as they reach the center of the memorial in front of the statue where they begin an exchange of right hands! Back and forth they go neither man giving an inch before Demos gouges the face and eyes of Centurion to gain the upper hand. He takes Centurion and looks to drive him face first into the statue of Jefferson! Centurion blocks and it is Demos that is bounced off the statue of Jefferson!

Centurion lands a Side Suplex on the concrete!

HHL: You have to think these two are going to throw caution to the wind.

Centurion reaches his feet where he starts to stomp away at Demos before reaching down picking him up by the hair. He takes Demos through the crowd which part like the red sea as they exit the outdoor memorial. Demos hammers Centurion in the ribs breaking his grasp where he snatches a near by trash can before crashing it over the head of Centurion!

Trash is sent flying as the can dents, but not nearly enough as Demos smashes over his head a second time dropping Centurion to one knee for Demos to land a straight kick to the face knocking him backwards to the unforgiving concrete. Demos tosses the trash can to the side as he measures Centurion who pushes himself up to all fours. Demos charges forward with a punt kick to the ribs knocking Centurion down a small concrete staircase that leads closer to the basin of water.

[white]Pip: All Demos has to do is get Centurion close enough and toss his ass in the water.

Demos waits for Centurion to work his way to his feet before running and leaping off the staircase looking for a flying double axe handle that Centurion counters with a right hand to the gut! The crowd starts to rally behind Centurion as he starts to pepper the jaw of Demos! Demos swings at Centurion who ducks and takes Demos up and drives him down on to the lawn surrounding the memorial with a Sleeper Slam!

The crowd that’s gathered rallies behind Centurion as he backs away from Demos as he sizes him up. Demos starts to stir as and as he does Centurion charges forward looking for a V-Trigger! Demos throws his head out of harm’s way before lunging to his feet where he headbuts Centurion across the bridge of the nose! Demos delivers a boot to the midsection before landing a swinging neckbreaker on the grassy knoll!

The crowd surrounds both men as Demos snatches a crutch from a fan. Centurion starts to gets back to his feet where Demos charges forward cracking him in the gut double him over for Demos to break the crutch across Centurions back! Centurion drops to one knee as we see Demos snatch him by the hair and yank him back to his feet where he pushes through the crowd towards the water basin.

HHL: Demos is going to do it! He’s going to hurl Centurion into the water!

They get closer and closer towards the waters edge and as Demos tries to hurl Centurion into the water he manages to put on the breaks and yank free from Demos gasp. Demos charges towards Centurion alongside the water swinging with a clothesline, Centurion ducks and counters with a back body drop on to the concrete delivered with a sick thud of body splatting against the concrete.

Centurion turns towards the crowd where he sees a fan with a golf club! He calls for the club and now as Demos rolls over to all fours Centurion tee’s up a shot and swings the club cracking he ribs of Demos!


Centurion rolls Demos over on to his back where he uses the club to choke away at his opponent. There is nothing the referee can do but look on. Demos reaches up thumbing Centurion in the eye breaking the choke. Centurion rolls off Demos as we see both men starting to work their way back to their feet. Centurion swings with a wild clothesline which Demos ducks and ends up catching Centurion with a boot to the face that sends him backwards closer to the waters edge!

Demos comes forward with a right hand rocking Centurion back closer to the edge. He lands a second and then a third before booting Centurion in the midsection which doubles him over. Demos sets Centurion up looking to deliver a Powerbomb into the water basin! Centurion is hoisting up but before Demos can land the move Centurion starts hammering away with right hands before taking Demos down with a seated senton!

Pip: Would one of these fuckers just throw the other in the damn water!

Centurion is the first back to his feet! He stalks Demos who starts to slowly work his way back up to a vertical base.


As Demos stands back up Centurion comes up from behind delivering a 1,000 MILE SLAM into the water basin!!


The scene cuts back where we see one Billy B. Blankenship standing in front of a set of lockers in the locker room area for a pre-taped statement.

[Image: PeacefulBlindHake-max-1mb.gif]

Hello ladies and gentleman, my name is Billy B. Blankenship and today I am here to remind you all of something Bob Dylan once said:

“The times they are a changing”.

Now, what does that mean? It means that if you are competing in this rink a dink tag team division that your lives are going to be turned inside out by two of the best athletes to grace a squared circle;

Kyodia Monsuta and Ricky Goldhart;

The Can-Jap Connection!

My boys are on their way to finally give the Tag Team scene a shot credibility within a division that is nothing but a laughing stock at best and on life support at worse.

Them No Good Bastards are place holding the division to death by taking on teams like The DissentSHITS, or the PISSintegrators to even this unknown EXP team that somehow finds themselves next in line after competing and losing in what, one match? The fact of the matter is this ladies and gentleman, it’s time to stop pretending that Them No Good Bastards aren’t anything more than a walking spoof on professional wrestling. You two boys think that one legitimate win over a broken Continuum is enough to make you anything more than a joke?

The next thing you’re going to tell me is The Thugs are credible competition, or dare I say even the Dream-A-Maniacs; no wait, they aren’t even a goddamn team anymore! Ultimately what I am getting at is this division is surrounded by a bunch of nothing happening panty waists that wouldn’t know how to wrestle their way out of a wet paper sack if their lives depended on it.

What about this Apex group of no-talent smack talkers that show up once a month to stroke their egos as they remind themselves of a day in time where their names meant something more than a polished turd. Robert Main hasn’t been relevant since being carried by Chris Page and all you got to do to rattle Jim Caedus is talk about how much of a fucking flake he is when the pressure is on and it’s getting a little hot in his kitchen!

… and let me close this out addressing you, Freddy Fabulous.

You wanted to know so badly who the greatest tag team on earth was? Well, as of the airing of this tape, my boys have signed the most lucrative deal ever offered by the XWF to a tag team, and they’re champing at the bit to get to work. So why don’t you bring your boys to War Games and I will bring mine so we can see who really wins this pissing contest.

Thank You.

Fuck You.



[Image: S2wXAE9.png]

- vs -

The titles are hidden somewhere in the offices of the United States Senators. As a team both Disintegrators and Them No Good Bastards have to fight their way through the offices until one team finds the Tag Team Belts.

We cut to the halls of Capitol Hill, where we see the Disintigrators walking around with a referee next to 'em. They look around corners, searching for Them No Good Bastards and, more importantly, the Tag Team Championships. They strut their stuff, confident the belts are nearby.

PC: "It looks like the Tag Team Title Match is underway, and Them No Good Bastards are nowhere to be found!"

HHL: "Maybe they got a head start! For all we know, they've already found the belts!"

The Disintigrators approach a big door and prepare to enter it; however, the moment they put their hand on the knob, they're attacked from behind by Bobby Bourbon.

PC: "Looks like Bobby Bourbon found the Disintigrators!"

Bourbon picks his opponents up and Headbutts them together, causing Johnny Steele to fall to the floor as Dave Mustang stumbles forward towards the door. His momentum causes him to open it and enter the room, with Bobby following close behind.

HHL: "They're entering the Senate Chambers!"

PC: "Is it possible the belts could be in THERE?!"

HHL: "I think that'd be too easy."

Inside the Chambers, Dave Mustang is light on his feet as he fumbles his way down the steps, with Bobby delivering a random shot or two here and there. The two of them pass by Thunder Knuckles, who happens to be sitting in one of the Senators' chairs with a quill and piece of parchment.

HHL: "What the hell is TK doing?"

PC: "I think he's writing a bill to make X-Bux the official currency of the United States!"

Thunder Knuckles is so busy doing more work than actual Congress, he doesn't see Johnny Steele sneak up behind him until he's already broken a wooden chair over his head!

PC: "And Johnny Steele protests TK's proposal with a filibuster in the form of a chair!"

Steele yanks TK out of his seat, but Bourbon's right there to turn him around and defend his partner. He Knees Johnny in gut, before hoisting him up in Powerbomb position. Before he can hit it, Dave Mustang runs up and pulls HIS partner out of harm's way. Steele lands on his feet and joins his other half with a Double Dropkick that knocks Bourbon into TK. With both their opponents down, the Disintigrators head back up the stairs and into the hallway.

HHL: "This doesn't look good for Them No Good Bastards!"

PC: "They'll be alright, what are the odds the Disintigrators will find the Titles in the first office they enter?"

Steele and Mustang share a high five as they make their way down the hall, a specific office in mind. The camera and referee follow, as the Disintigrators strut their way to a door with the name 'NANCY PELOSI' on it, sending the crowd into a frenzy.

PC: "I hope she didn't leave her laptop in there, again!"

HHL: "That thing's almost more valuable than the Tag Team Titles!............. almost"

The Disintigrators walk inside, hurrying over to her desk and frantically searching every drawer they can. Dave Mustang slides all of the papers off while Johnny Steele looks behind the curtains and paintings on the wall.

HHL: "I guess they weren't gonna make it THAT easy, either!"

PC: "At this point, they might wanna consider the most obscure, unknown Senator's office!"

HHL: "That's not a bad idea."

The Disintigrators eventually give up and leave, seeing TNGB doing the same from the office across from them. The two teams charge at each other, exchanging shots in the middle of the hallway. Thunder Knuckles delivers a Thumb to the Eye of Dave Mustang, allowing TK enough time to grab a painting off the wall and smash it over his opponent's head! Dave's head comically looks perfect through the former Senator's portrait, as if he were the one wearing a fancy suit.

PC: "Dave Mustang's never looked better!"

HHL: "It certainly is a step up, isn't it?"

With Mustang in a daze, Bobby Bourbon comes up behind him for a Torture Rack, which he lifts into a Samoan Drop.

PC: "Flatiron! That should keep Dave down long enough for them to find the belts!"

HHL: "Not if Johnny Steele has anything to say about it!"

As soon as Heather's says that, Johnny Steele appears behind Bobby Bourbon and smashes Nancy Pelosi's laptop across his back!

PC: "She DID leave it in there!"

HHL: "What a, literal, break for the Disintigrators!"

Bourbon drops to his knees as TK tackles Steele and begins hammering away with a flurry of rights. He then gets off of Johnny and drags him to his feet, where he tosses him into the wall before checking on Bobby.

PC: "TK's such a good partner!"

HHL: "Tell that to his War Games team last year."

Bourbon assures his partner he's fine and gets to his feet. The two of them make their way down the hall, popping their heads into random offices in hope that the Tag Team Titles might be laying out on a desk. Unfortunately for them, it's not, causing the pair to do a more thorough search in the next one: MITCH MCCONNEL'S!!!!

HHL: "Look at all the bills on his desk!"

PC: "Ain't nobody got time for that, Heather! He's leading the good fight against that crook, Joe Biden!"

HHL: "And I'm sure you think it'd be better if we had a Queen?"

PC: "Absolutely! One person to rule them all, who wouldn't want THAT?!"

Thunder Knuckles shoves all the bills off Moscow Mitch's desk and replaces the stack with his own, looking awfully proud of himself in the process.

PC: "Poor TK has no idea the thing will never be read!"

HHL: "Let him dream, Pip."

As TK does that, Bobby completely tears the room apart, looking through every nook and cranny he can find. He even flips the Senator's desk over, causing Thunder Knuckles to throw his arms in the air as his proposed bill flies off into the pile with the rest of them.

PC: "It's as good as gone, now!"

HHL: "It always was."

Them No Good Bastards decide to go to another office but, before they can leave, the door slams shut. TK hurries over and tries to pull it open, but The Disintigrators are on the other side holding it closed. Dave Mustang rolls Johnny Steele to go search for the belts, while he traps their opponents inside! Steele nods and disappears in search of another office.

PC: "This is genius! If Dave Mustang can keep TNGB at bay, we're gonna have new Tag Team Champions!"

A confident Mustang laughs as TK tries to pull the door from his grasp, to no avail. That's when Bobby Bourbon walks over and surveys the door, before shoving his partner aside. All of a sudden, Bobby punches through the door, causing Dave Mustang to scream from the other side as he watches Bourbon's fist smash through the wood, nearly taking his head off in the process!

HHL: "The strength of Bobby Bourbon is incredible!"

PC: "If I was Dangerous Dave, I'd be running by now!"

Mustang attempts to flee, but Bobby grabs hold of his hair, holding him in place as Bourbon and TK open the door. Out of nowhere, Johnny Steele comes into frame with a fire extinguisher and sprays it in the face of both Bastards, forcing Bobby to let go of Dave. TNGB grabs at their eyes, trying to wipe the foam from them as the Disintigrators take off in a hurry, "WOOing" their way down the halls of the Capitol. It doesn't take long for the Tag Champs to recover, heading off in the same direction as their opponents.

PC: "Follow the 'WOO's!"

HHL: "For all they know, the Disintigrators are leading them away from the Titles!"

PC: "Who knows?"

HHL: "The person who hid the belts."

PC: "Touchè."

The Disintigrators peep into the offices of some lesser known Congressman, but don't seem to find anything out of the ordinary, so they don't bother looking more in depth. Unbeknownst to them, TNGB is following closely behind with a more thorough search of the offices.

PC: "This could be risky, if they don't find the belts in any of these rooms, the Disintigrators are likely to find 'em in one of the others!"

Realizing this, Thunder Knuckles tells Bobby to go on without him, which he happily does.

HHL: "It looks like Bourbon's going after the Disintigrators while TK stays behind!"

PC: "Just another example of the Champions being on a whole 'nother level!"

The Disintigrators go to enter the office of Marco Rubio, but Bobby squeezes in between 'em and pulls it shut. The Disintigrators retaliate with simultaneous Kicks to Bourbon's stomach, only to be flipped over his head as the two of them charge at him.

PC: "Bobby Bourbon just tossed BOTH Dave Mustang AND Johnny Steele over his shoulders like it was nothing!"

HHL: "There's a reason he was Universal Champion at one point, Pip!"

Bourbon waits for his opponents to get up before rushing at them with both his arms out. The Disintigrators manage to avoid the Clotheslines and connect with a Double Drop Toehold that sends Bobby, face first, into Rubio's door. The blow bursts it wide open, allowing the Disintigrators to step over Bourbon into the Senator's quarters.

Inside, there's an ironically gigantic stack of tiny, unopened water bottles for just in case the Senator gets parched. Dave and Johnny rip open one of the packages and cheers before gulping one of the miniature waters down in one quick swallow. They toss the empty plastic aside and begin tearing the place apart, desperately searching for any sign of the Titles.

HHL: "The longer this match goes on, the more frantic the search becomes."

PC: "With only do many places to look, the more you fail, the higher the probability your opponents don't!"

TK(screaming): "BOBBY, I FOUND THEM!!!!!!"

PC: "Thunder Knuckles found the belts!"

HHL: "Unless it's some kind of bluff?"

PC: "Regardless, the match doesn't end until BOTH partner's grab hold of a belt!"

HHL: "And it looks like the Disintigrators are all aware of that!"

Johnny Steele and Dave Mustang hurry past a recovering Bobby Bourbon, who jumps to his feet with a sudden burst of life and chases after them. The Disintigrators follow TK's voice, scrambling through the halls in a mad dash to become Champions. The echoes lead them into the office of conservative, olds fuck Iowa Senator, Chuck Grassley.

PC: "I didn't know they let dinosaurs in Congress!"

HHL: "Are you kidding? The entire United States government IS a bunch of dinosaurs!.................... guess it's no different than the Queen, huh?"

PC: "How dare you! Don't you EVER talk about her Royal Highness like that again!"

The Disintigrators enter the room, seeing Thunder Knuckles behind Grassley's desk with a Title in each arm. Dave and Johnny take a menacing step forward, prepared to lay a beatdown on their lone opponent. TK doesn't back down, hopping over the Senator's desk and charging at them without even a glimpse of fear! The Disintigrators run at him, grabbing each other's arms in preparation for a Double Clothesline. Before they can hit it, Thunder Knuckles drops to his knees and slides underneath their arms, gliding on his knees across the floor in the opposite direction. That's when Bobby Bourbon enters, just in time for his partner to toss him his belt, sealing the victory for the pair!!!!

Winners and STILL XWF World Tag Team Champions, Them No Good Bastards

PC: "Once again, Thunder Knuckles and Bobby Bourbon show the world exactly why they are the best Tag Team around!"

HHL: "You can't argue with results, and their's are constantly in the win column!"

Bourbon and TK take their Titles and exit the office, holding their belts up proudly as they make their way down the Capitol halls. As they do, the pair unknowingly passes two men dressed in powdered wigs and old fashioned clothing. All of a sudden, the George Washington-esque duo runs up behind the Champions and begin laying a beatdown!

PC: "I think......... I think that's Steven Cooper and Eobard Stone, next in line for the Tag Team Titles!!!!"

HHL: "This is their second sneak attack on the Champions, the first coming last month's Leap of Faith pay-per-view! What an evil thing to do, just challenge them already!"

PC: "Hey, they're only as evil as Congress, Heather!"

HHL: "..................true."

Bobby Bourbon begins fighting back against Eobard Stone, as Cooper tosses TK HARD against the wall! Bourbon Irish Whips Stone into The Trooper, sending them both toppling over. He begins to run towards them, but the pair quickly runs off, leaving Bobby to check on his partner as Warfare cuts to break.

Thaddeus Duke’s motorcade slows to a stop outside the White House. Thad, Frankie and Paul Heyman all file out of the armored limousine and head toward the designated backstage area on the grounds.

HHL: The Hart Champion, ladies and gentlemen, he’s been all over the place tonight, making stops in each of tonight's locations!

PIP: Paul Heyman has been avoiding Morbid Angel like the plague!

HHL: Speak of the devil!

Morbid Angel, still on the Segway, turns onto the White House driveway, quickly urging people to get out of the way.


At a whopping four miles per hour, Morbid goes zooming slowly by Secret Service personnel and Thad’s own protection detail before coming to a stop at the motorcade. He hops off the Segway and opens the rear door of the limo.



Off in the distance, he thinks he spies Heyman’s bald head rounding a corner and rushes off in that direction.


Thad, Frankie and Paulie are walking the backstage grounds at the White House.

Thad can we meet the President? Frankie asks as they round another corner. In the distance behind them, Morbid Angel is coming their way.

Yeah, I’m sure we can, Thad answers the boy.

And Kamala Harris?

Don’t see why not.

Thad I have some more work to do, Paul says in an attempt to excuse himself.

When do you ever just relax bro?

Well you keep yourself busy on off days so… never?

With a pat on the back from Thad, Paul climbs a set of steps into his office trailer and Thad and Frankie head off in another direction. Morbid Angel enters the screen and ponders where to go, having just seen where Heyman went. Instead of following Heyman, he chooses to go after Thad and his son.

Walking quickly, Morbid rounds a corner and sees Thad disappear into a porta john. Morbid speeds up and without knocking, enters the oversized porta john occupied by Thaddeus Duke.

What the fuck, Morbid!? Thad shouts out as he’s startled. I have my dick out and everything!

I know, I saw!

This is a very unpleasant invasion of my personal space!

I know, the lord has sent me to you and….uuhh...I thought it would be bigger truthfully.

Turn around so I can finish. I can’t go with you staring. Anyway, I’mma grower, not a show-er. It’s rather large when it counts.

Morbid hesitates.


With a sigh, Morbid turns his back to Thad as Thad finishes relieving himself.

What the fuck do you want, anyway?

I tried going through Paul but he is a greasy bastard and blew me off. Very unprofessional to ignore someone like myself. If I weren’t a godly man I’d beat his fucking ass!

Well, he manages my affairs so…

He lied to me about meeting him at the Smithsonian. He had some fat guy that looked like him play a recording. I think he’s afraid! Afraid of Morbid Angel and his abilities!

Thad finishes up and puts the goods away.

Well, then what can I do for you?

I believe it is time for a match! I want my shot at the Hart title. The lord said let it be done. And when he wants something done he ge………

Yeah sure, I don’t give a shit.

Thad and Morbid Angel exit the porta john, coming face to face with a confused Frankie.

So like… was that a sex thing?


YES! He fucking touched my balls AND LIKED IT!

I did not!

Thad and Morbid look at each other, then back at Frankie.

There really needs to be more kids around here. I need like a support group or something. Frankie says as he starts walking away.

Thad and Morbid look back at each other.

Was it good for you?

I’ve had better… Thad says as he starts following after Frankie. See ya next Warfare, fucker!

Alright mother fucker Morbid mutters under his breath as he turns around.

Ooh, is that Joe Biden?!

He takes off in that direction.

Mr. President! Do you need a religious advisor?!

Robert Main and Jim Caedus, collectively known as APEX hit the stage to a favorable ovation from the crowd! The two head down to the ring. Once inside they climb up on either turnbuckle and posture for the crowd. Huge pops for two of the greatest in the business!

The light suddenly go out, bathing the arena in darkness. 'Zero Signal' by Fear Factor hits the loudspeakers as lights come back up slightly. turning red. A thick fog fills the entrance area as purple strobes begin to flicker around it. Lycana skips through the fog, stopping to look out over the crowd with a smirk. A large outline appears behind her in the smoke, Marf slowly emerging to stand at Lycana's side. They both pose for a brief instant, as pyros shoot off around them. They look at each other and nod, walking down the ramp in unison.

Lycana hops up onto the ring apron, with Marf stepping up next to her. He holds the ropes open for her to step through, following closely behind. They run to opposite turnbuckles and jump on them. Lycana sneers at the crowd, while Marf flips them off. The lights come back to normal as The Dissentients leap down from the turnbuckles, Lycana moving to stand by Marf's side as he cracks his knuckles.


- vs -


PIP: “It looks like Lycana and Robert Main will start for their respective teams.”

Lycana and Robert Main stand in the ring, as the bell sounds. The two begin to circle each other for a moment, before locking up in the middle of the ring. Lycana quickly locks Main up, shoving him towards his corner. Main tries pushing back, but a knee to the midsection keeps Lycana in control. However, he is able to escape before she can trap him in the corner. Main heads over back towards his side of the ring, looking on as Lycana begins to smirk. Lycana, calling for Main to meet her in the middle again. Main does, as he connects with a Forearm Strike that stuns Lycana. Main doesn’t waste time with another tie-up, he sends Lycana to the ropes and connects with an “Omega Suplex” Dragon Suplex! Lycana slams hard onto the mat. Lycana pushes up to her feet, a bit annoyed by Main’s actions. Main looks on, smiling, as she charges towards him. Main drops to his stomach, causing her to continue on to the other side of the ring. Main gets back up, and catches her on the rebound with a hip toss! Lycana pops back up to her feet, but Main catches her with an arm drag, sending him back towards his corner! Main stands tall, as Lycana tags Marf into the match.

PIP: “Marf entering this match for the first time tonight!”

HHL: “If I were Robert Main, I’d be concerned considering the beating Marf gave to Micheal Graves at Anarchy!”

PIP: “You mean Dolly Waters…. Apparently.”

Marf steps into the ring, Main looks on, stepping backwards as he heads to his corner and tags Caedus in. The crowd pops, as Marf looks on. Caedus wastes no time, charging towards Marf as he hops over him. Caedus takes Marf down with a hard clothesline, sending him tumbling across the ring. Marf recovers quickly and rushes Cadeus with a series of right hands! Caedus manages to block most of the blows, but a quick kick to the gut allows Marf to try for a DDT, but Caedus shoves him away. Marf pushes back in and slips behind Caedus, hooking the waist. He attempts a German Suplex, but Caedus is able to break his grip and slip out of the hold! Caedus whips Marf into the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a stiff BIG BOOT! Jim quickly covers him for the pin, the first attempt of the match!



PIP: “Way too early for that!”

HHL: “Hey, you never know until you try!”

Marf easily kicks out, but is still dazed as Caedus heads back to her corner to tag Main back into the match. Main steps over, kicking Marf in the back of his head as he tries to get up. Main wastes no time in playing around, picking Marf up and dropping him with a spinebuster! Marf sells for a moment as Main taunts Lycana on the apron! Pissed, Marf cracks his neck as he gets back up, and charges towards Main! He takes Main down with a Shoulder Tackle, sending Main to the outside! Marf slides right out of the ring, looking to capitalize on this moment, but Main has already recovered. He clobbers Marf with an elbow, and slides back into the ring. Main runs to the other side of the ring to gain momentum as he runs back towards Marf. He returns to the side he entered, and DIVES TO THE OUTSIDE WITH A SUICIDE DIVE! Both men go crashing to the ground, as Lycana and Caedus look on from the apron.

PIP: “An uncharacteristic move from “The Omega”, but one that served him well!”

HHL: “No doubt! Marf never expected that one!”

Main lays on the outside, while Marf leans against the barricade. Both men begin to stir, as they get to their feet at the same time. Marf doesn’t want to waste any time spent on the outside, hitting Main with an elbow of his own. He grabs Main and tosses him back into the ring. Main quickly shoots across the ring, tagging in Caedus just as Marf is able to slide back into the ring. Marf tries to get up to his feet quickly


Marf stumbles backwards holding his chest and gasping for air as Caedus moves in stalking his prey!


PIP: “Many, many men and women have succumbed to that combination! Will Marf add his name among them!?

HHL: “It’s not looking good PIP!”




Marf is able to somehow kickout! Caedus isn’t finished though, grabbing Marf by the hair and pulling him backwards. The move takes him by surprise, but he clocks him with a spinning backfist! Marf looks to tag Lycana in, but Caedus lands a brutal elbow to his kidneys! Lycana calls out to her partner, as Marf drops to his knees in pain. Caedus follows up with another knee to the kidneys, keeping Marf in place for the moment. He steps back, and connects with a big boot to the back of his head! Lycana can only look on, as Marf collapses to the mat as Caedus looks to follow up with another shot, but Marf manages to avoid it in a desperate dive to tag in Lycana!


HHL: “Hopefully the fresh woman can make the difference here Pip!”

Lycana quickly gets into the ring, locking up with Caedus. She pulls him towards her side, dropping him with an Implant DDT! Lycana continues to brutalize Caedus, wearing him down with a series of holds. She locks in a chinlock on Caedus!. Caedus holds on, not wanting to give up to a rear chinlock. Lycana looks to give him some motivation to quit, she slams him with a swinging neckbreaker. Quickly applying the rear chinlock again, Lycana calls for Caedus to quit. He isn’t about it, again trying his best to get back out of the hold. Lycana slams an Elbow into the back of his head as she lets go of the hold. Caedus looks a little out of it, as Lycana picks him up and whips him into the corner! She rushes in with a series of shoulder blocks in the corner! Really working Caedus’s ribs over. She grabs him by the hair and fires off a big right hand to keep him in place, then shoves her shoulder into his ribs and lifts him up to a seated position on the top! Lycana steps up!


Lycana hangs on for the pin!

PIP: “This could be the end!”




HHL: “I think it was sheer instinct that saved Jim there!”

PIP: “There’s no doubting the fact that Lycana has worked Jim Caedus over, maybe more than anyone thought she would!”

Lycana knows that she needs to keep Caedus in this match, as he tries his best to get Main involved. Lycana is able to stop him every chance he gets, cutting him off from making the tag. Lycana catches Caedus with an inside cradle!





Caedus again tries to will himself towards her corner, but he can barely move! Lycana watches on completely dumbfounded. She moves to her corner, tagging Marf back in to finish up the job. Marf, having had some time to rest now, gets into the ring with one job on his mind. A brutal stomp lands in the middle of Caedus’s back, he screams out in pain as Marf grabs him. Picking him up off of the mat, Marf easily deadlifts her into a belly to belly toss! Caedus is slammed hard into the mat, as Marf quickly makes his attempt to cover him. Caedus, however, has other plans for this moment. Marf moves forward and Caedus connects with a kick to his balls! Marf doubles over, clearly in pain, as he drops to the mat. Caedus drags himself towards her corner, Main helping out a little bit as he reaches down to tag himself back in.

PIP: “A surprising dirty move by Jim Caedus there!”

HHL: “Surprising? What Jim Caedus have you been watching? All’s fair in love and war PIP!”

Main charges in and fires off a few punches before pulling Marf to his feet and forcefully throwing him into the corner and then ramming his shoulder into Marf’s midsection repeatedly. Over and over again, Main slams his shoulder into Marf’s stomach. The pain on Marf’s face tells a story, as he cannot stand it any longer. Main backs away from the corner and motions for Marf to “bring it”! Marf stumbles out not fully aware of his surroundings!


Main covers!




PIP: “Lycana with the save just in the nick of time!”

HHL: “You have to wonder, where’s the guy that barely let Micheal Graves connect FOUR moves at Anarchy?”

PIP: “Dying in the ring, currently!”

Lycana has had enough! Cadeus steps through the ropes only to get hit with a handspring back elbow! Lycana turns to see a pissed off Robert Main staring back at her! Off balance, she throws a right, but Main grabs her arm out of the air and hoists her up to his shoulders!


Lycana rolls out to the floor. Marf is trying to pull himself up by the ropes.; Main rushes in with a stiff knee to the bridge of his nose, shattering it as blood begins to spill everywhere! Violently, Main pulls Marf towards the center of the ring and locks in The Rings of Saturn!


Marf struggles to stay in it. Lycana hits the apron!

HHL: “If he can hold out a little longer, help is on the w-”

She steps through the ropes, but as soon as she hits the ring Cadeus sends her right back out of it with a closeline that flips her right over the top!


Jim stands guard keeping an eye on Lycana as Main applies pressure to the hold and Marf submits!


Robert Main and Jim Caedus soak in the reception from the crowd following a grueling affair with Lycana and Marf when suddenly the lights in the building go completely dark.

HHL: Wait just a minute!

The countdown clock ticks away to zero as a single spotlight hits the top of the ramp. Main and Caedus start looking all over with a strike from BOB seemingly immediately upon us.

Pip: For weeks Robert has been playing mind games, picking and choosing his times to strike against Chris Page and BOB.

No Chris Page or BOB are seen. Suddenly we hear Chris call out from the X-Tron.

” Yo Robert!”

Chris Page appears on the X-Tron at an undisclosed location in Washington DC.

” Allow me to thank you for pulling your one match quota every two months, good job.”

The crowd gathered boos intently as Chris continues.

” As easy as it would be for me to just show up there and embarrass you, again… instead of having my music play in your matches, and instead of dropping you and Jimbo where you stand… I elected to do something a little less predictable.”

Chris kneels down with the camera following him down where he snatches the hair of a bloody Drew Archyle. Robert Main and Jim Caedus are beside themselves as they watch Chris who gazes into the camera resting Drew’s head on his lap.

” Why take you out when I can take out everyone around you? I am going to take away the ONE thing you hold dear; it is not titles, it is not power… it is your friends.”

Chris starts looking around as he then asks.

” Where is Legacy? Where is James Raven and the unreliable Shawn Warstein to aid your cause?

Chris stands back up picking a beaten and bloody Drew up in the process as he continues.

” But where you went wrong more so than anywhere else my dear friend; you have managed to piss off someone else in the process.”

Chris tosses Drew, the camera follows Drew as he is whipped into Andre Dixon who hoists him up in the air before driving him down on the sidewalk.

” Sucks when you are powerless to stop it, doesn’t it?

The camera pans back revealing a huge fence that sits in front of the White House lawn. Upon seeing the White House Robert Main and Jim Caedus take off,

” We’re going to be here, and we’re going to be waiting.”

Backstage, we catch TNGB as they've been watching the Dissentients face Apex. Bobby points at the screen.

Eh, they can go in the ring, but how often? I'm telling you bro, these guys want a piece of us, and god damn if we don't give it to them. We gotta dust off EXP first, we’re the hot knives, they're the butter. What is it with these chumps? Attack us? Fine. We humiliate them on TV when it counts.

Fuck yeah, Bobby. These fucking idiots, the fucking idiots in EXP, and anyone else who has to catch us off our guard is going to catch a goddamn ass kicking.

Bobby stands.

I gotta piss. I guess we can watch Alias and Chaos, but really, I kinda want to play video games instead. Two emo kids going at it for the Uni? Yikes.

TK laughs.

Right? See you when you get back.

Bobby gingerly makes his way out of the trailer on the National Mall, which is among a whole site littered with XWF trucks, trailers, and busses. With all the matches taking place at so many locations surrounding the Mall, this is the backstage for the evening. Fans are heard in the distance, crowding along impromptu fences erected to give the performers and crew of the XWF their space. Bobby stops and takes a deep breath.

Home sweet home. I love this city. Tonight is going to be awesome. Me and TK are headed to Adams Morgan.

Bobby looks dead at the camera.

We can grab some chow at the diner, maybe hit up Madam's Organ after, go on the roof and smoke some of the finest leaf CaviarDC has to offer. Hot damn, Them No Good Bastards are going to have a great night taking these tag championships on the town, and with Atty-three-belts, the Bastards make their way to Glover Park, close out Bread Soda, then…


Bobby is immediately dropped from a vicious shot from a trash can as Betsy Granger leaps from atop one of the trailers. Betsy brings Bobby to his feet and smashes his head into a nearby trailer. She keeps a hold of Bourbon’s cranium, and dragging him to another trailer mere feet away, plants it into the aluminum wall.

You son of a bitch!

Bobby, down to a knee and leaning against the trailer, smirks. mean bastard?

Betsy, not amused by Bobby’s smart-assed response, delivers a massive side kick to Bobby’s head, crushing it against the exterior of the trailer, actually denting it inward. A team of agents and officials run in and start to pull Betsy away, but Granger seems to be backing off on her own volition as Bobby is out and face down in the grass of the National Mall.

This is not over, you prick!

[Image: JggTqeU.png]

[Image: 54VZjNs.png]

- vs -



XWF Wednesday Warfare returns from a commercial break as we prepare for our main event of the evening. A sky camera floats about the home of the President and Vice President of the United States, the White House.

Thousands of wrestling fans surround the fence of the property, looking through the steel bars to a wrestling ring erected in the middle of the White House lawn. Sitting in one corner, looking disinterested almost, is the Universal Champion Alias. His challenger, Corporate Chaos paces back and forth on the other side of the ring watching him.

A few feet from the ring is a commentary table where Pip Collins and Heather Halliwell are seated and joined by special guest commentator, the 45th President of the United State, Donald J. Trump.

PC: Hello folks! Welcome to our main event of the evening, where we’ll see the Universal Champion, Alias defend the gold against Corporate Chris Chaos. But joining us now, is a VERY special guest…

Pip says with a school-girl like glow,

PC: The 45th, and in my opinion, FOREVER President, Donald John Trump!

Donald Trump stands and stares off towards the setting sun, his eyes squinting like he’s sucked on a lemon, or a fart from Pip’s anus.

HHL: Mhmm… yes. Good. GREAT.

Heather sighs out,

DT: ……………….

Trump is yammering on about something but no one can hear him,

PC: Oh! Mr. President, you’ve got put the headset on so the folks at home can hear you,

There’s a loud bang as Trump fumbles around with the headset.

DT: There. Can you all hear me now?

PC Loud and clear, Mr. President!

DT: Great. Wonderful. Thank you very much Pip, thank you very, very, very much Heather. As you all know I’m a yuge, YUGE fan of professional wrestling. So what a tremendous moment this is, though, I must say, I’m a little, just a little, just a tiny bit shocked that Sleepy Joe Biden would allow such an event like this to take place. Everyone knows that he’s always been out to get me. Anything I like, he doesn’t like. I like beautiful women, like Heather here, Joe married Jill Biden. I like McDonalds, Joe Biden likes those frozen Boca Burgers. I like professional wrestling, Joe Biden likes socialism. So again, very, VERY BIGLY surprised by this. And another-

The doors to the White House swing open and out walks the 46th President of the United States, Joseph R. Biden and the first ever woman Vice President, Kamala Harris.

HHL: Oh thank god.

PC: Well that was rude!

DT: It’s okay Pip, I don’t mind. You know they say that once every few months a woman begins to shed the dead parts of her ovaries and it hurts them really, BIG TIME bad, like probably the worst kind of hurt. Like swollen-

Looking disgusted Heather reaches down and unplugs Donald Trump’s headset, and in the process tangles a bunch of cords together.

PC: Damnit, Heather!

HHL: Oops, I’m such a clutz!

Pip scurries under the desk, his head pretty much positioned right in Trump’s lap as Joe Biden and Kamala Harris enter the ring.

Alias stands to his feet, and grimaces as Biden reaches out to shake his hand. He sniffs towards Biden and then turns his head, refusing the hand shake, but does however reluctantly shake Harris’ hand. Corporate Chris Chaos outright refuses both, and calls them some variation of socialist garbage.

JB: Okay listen jack, I want a fair matchup here. You’re only allowed to move when I say “Green light!” if I say “Red light!” you better stop, or I’m calling the match. I want you two to line up over there by the ropes-

KH: Uh, Mr. President? This is a wrestling match. We’re refereeing a WRESTLING match. We’ve literally sat around all day, watching other wrestlers destroy this city. Don’t you remember?


Biden exits the ring and heads back towards the White House. Vice President Harris lets out a sigh and signals for the match to begin.

Chris Chaos spears Alias right away. The fall is violent looking, as Alias’ head thrashes against the tight ring ropes as he falls to the mat gasping for air. Chaos covers and VP Harris makes the count.



HHL: NO!!! We almost had a new Universal Champion right away!

Pip still has his head in Trump’s lap. Trump is still yammering as if he’s hooked up to the microphone.

Chaos shouts out in agony as Alias has his teeth latched into his breast, causing the pin fall to be broken. Chaos stands and rips Alias up by the hair with him, pulling him up and beating him in the face. A left hand full of Alias’ hair, and right fist colliding over and over into the champion’s face, Chaos leads the Eater of the Universe around the ring, switching between forearm, elbow and knuckle strikes. Alias falls into the corner of the ring, and Chaos follows him, sending a series of shoulder thrusts into the champ’s gut. It’s hard to tell if Alias has even caught his breath from that initial spear.

Alias tries falling to the mat, but Chaos wont allow it, he grabs the champ by the head and runs him face first across the ropes from one corner to the next.

HHL: Wow! This is an absolute assault by the corporate Hitman! Theo Pryce HAS to be enjoying this!

Trump is still yammering on unconsciously, and ignorantly about menstrual cycles,

The friction from the rope burn has opened Alias’ forehead up, blood begins trickling out as he leans in the corner looking exhausted. Chaos has backed up to the center of the ring and flies at Alias, smashing him with a stinger-splash. Alias is out on his feet and falling out of the corner, but Chaos catches him on the way down! Planting him on the mat with a tilt-a-whirl-DDT!

Chaos makes the cover!




Alias just barely escapes again!

Chaos pops up to his feet and immediately gets in Kamala Harris’ face, aggressively backing her towards the corner.

HHL: Chaos thought that Harris was counting slow!

But Vice President Harris pushes Chaos in the chest and warns him to stand down. Chris angrily does so and turns around into


...well, there’s really no way of telling. They all kind of look the same.

As Chaos goes to fall, Alias assists him on the way down with a running bulldog.

He covers Chaos!



Chaos gets a shoulder up!

And Alias stays on the attack now, he lifts Chris and throws him to the ropes, ducking down and flipping the challenger over to the mat with a firemans carry. Chaos pops back and and charges at Alias who spins him around with an armlock and pushes him chest first into the opposite ropes, forearming Chaos in the back of the head and then dropping and rolling him up with a schoolboy.



Chaos is out quickly to Alias’ surprise and levels the champ with a strong right fist. Chaos doesn’t just run, but CHARGES at the ropes and rbounds with a fierce shoulder block that looks like a car wreck and flips Alias out of the opposite side of the ring. The Champion holds onto the ropes and pulls up, finding his feet on the apron.


He connects with a vicious diving spear through the ropes as the two find their way out onto the White House lawn.

Vice President Harris however doesn’t start counting the warriors out, instead she makes her way out of the ring, essentially deeming this a falls-count-anywhere contest. Chaos drapes an arm over Alias!



Chaos screams out, and reaches over with his other hand, bringing down all of his weight and power into a blow right on Alias’ nose. Alias however keeps his teeth sunken into Chaos’ skin. The two stand up together. Chris tries ripping his hand away but Alias’ bite is synched around the bone. Chaos sends a knee to Alias’ gut, and grabs the champ who has bent over by the back of the hair. He takes off running with the two, wrapping an arm around his head and leaping towards the steel ring steps.

HHL: OH MY GOODNESS! Chris Chaos just sacrificed his hand to smash Alias, head-first, HAND-FIRST, into the steps with a running bulldog.

The impact sounds like a gunshot and finally Alias has broken the bite. Chaos is ginger, and seriously damaged but so is the champion. He crawls over to make a pin.





HHL: What an absolute war! And to this point, Chris Chaos is all alone, showing the world that he doesn’t need Theo Pryce to stand toe-to-toe with the big boys!

There’s a crackle and pop from a microphone,

DT: --and I’ll tell you what Heather, I didn’t think it tasted THAT bad. A little zincy, sure, kind of like sucking on dirty coins. But not bad.

HHL: Oh god.. I mean OH! You’re microphone is working again.

Pip emerges, sweat and slobber around his jaw as he glares at his co-commentator,





Alias had recovered and tried executing his finishing uppercut blow. But Chaos ducks underneath, spins and hits a leg sweep! Alias stands up quick, but Chaos spins again and hits another leg sweep! Again Alias stands, but is caught with ANOTHER leg sweep! And another! AND ANOTHER! Chaos just keeps spinning around with that leg sweep and Alias keeps getting tripped by it! It’s like a Mortal Kombat glitch.

Finally, Chaos becomes dizzy and stumbles away as Alias stands, his head spinning around like he’s about to eat a fatality of his own. After clearing the cobwebs, Chaos sees his opportunity!


But as Chaos gets Alias onto his shoulders, the cagy champion slides down Chaos’ back. He spins Chaos around.


The devastating right handed smack sends the challenger spinning in the air and falling hard to the lawn.

But Alias is gassed and cannot capitalize.

Chaos gets to his knees and looks on at Alias, his eyes widening as he sees the champion gearing up for another attack. Chaos limps away towards the White House, ready to confine their fight to close quarters. Chaos gets to the doors of the White House, where he’s met with a familiar smile as the doors open.

Finish this thing

It’s Theo Pryce! He’s holding a steel chair.

KH: How in the heck did YOU get in there?

Pryce smiles,

Because I’m Theo fucking Pryce.

Chaos takes the chair from Theo and turns just as Alias is approaching and bashes the steel over the champion’s head. Alias staggers back, BUT SOMEHOW RECOVERS QUICKLY AND SNATCHES THE CHAIR BACK FROM CHAOS!’


Chaos falls back into the White House as Theo steps aside. Alias approaches and swings with the chair again, but this time it’s Chaos! He snatches the chair away and levels Alias! The two continue eating chair shots and ripping the thing away from one another like they’re zombies. The fight spills into the White House. Alias has the chair a wild look in his eyes as his face is nothing more than a crimson mask. He lifts the chair over his head, about to swing down on the glossy eyed Chaos who is down on both knees in front of him… But the chair disintegrates in his hands!

PC: Heather! I don’t think I’ve ever seen THAT before!

HHL: Those chairs can only take so much damage, Pip.

DT: She’s right, I think this one I’m sitting on is about to give way now.

HHL: That’s just because you’re fat.

Alias is stunned as the chair turns into ash. Unbelievable? Tell me about it.

Chaos lunges at Alias and spears him through a wall and into a bathroom. Alias’ head thrashes against the toilet as water sprays everywhere. The champion is knocked out cold!


It’s Joe Biden! He was getting dressed in the bathroom and is now wearing a 1930’s wrestling outfit. A black singlet complete with matching head gear. Pasty skin flapping down from his arms. He stands in position to grapple with Chaos. Chris kicks at him with Wrong Side Of The Tracks!




VP Harris stops counting as Chris easily pulls out of the pin.

KH: Mr. President… YOU’RE not wrestling.

JB: OH?!


Chaos connects to the jaw of President Biden with a perfectly placed superkick as the Commander and Chief crumbles.

DT: Very, very, VERY, nice. You know? I like this Corporate Chaos guy, seems like MY kind of guy, he reminds me of-

Luckily Heather unplugs Trump’s microphone again,

Chris Chaos starts pulling back the broken vanity, and porcelain and drywall, trying to find Alias buried underneath. But in the chaos and confusion Alias has slipped away.

PC: Where’s the Universal Champion?


The White House is on fire, and quickly being eaten away by the flames. In just a matter of moments the entire structure is burnt down nearly to the fixtures and standing in the middle of the wreckage is the Universal Champion, Alias! He’s slumped over, nearly dead, with a devilish grin on his bloodied and beaten face. He raises his ungloved, scorched hand and motions for Chaos to “Bring it”.

Chaos screams out in rage and charges Alias through the flames.










We cut back out to the front of the White House on the street as a pair of Harley’s can be heard pulling up. The singled headlights of the bikes approaching can be seen which illuminate Drew Archyle crucified to a cross. His face is covered in blood as he has crown of thorns on his head with a sign that reads Martyr. Robert and Jim hop off their bikes and rush over towards Drew to render some sort of aid as their bloody and beaten brother so desperately needs.

Pip: Robert likes to play little games, right? How does he like it now knowing that Drew’s blood is on his hands?

” I am going to kill him!!”

Jim and Robert attempt to take Drew off the crucifix when they are blind sided by Andre Dixon and Chris Page! Dixon breaks a 2x4 across the back of Caedus while Page comes up behind Main where he drives him face first into he large fence that extends down the side walk in front of the White House! Page starts smashing Robert’s face into the mesh of the fence before grating his face across it which opens him up in the process!

Page takes Main and spins him around before kicking him in the nuts which drops Robert to both knees! Andre Dixon unmercifully stomps away at the back of Jim’s head with malice and intent with each and every stomp!

HHL: APEX needs some help here!

Page snatches Robert by the beard and hair and he forces him to watch Jim Caedus getting smashed by Andre Dixon. Dixon picks Caedus up off the side walk before shooting him crashing into his bike which sends it tipping over to its side and crashing down on to the asphalt.

” You think this is all a game? Do you think you can cost us our titles and walk away?”

Page slaps Robert across the face.

” Get your ass up you prick.”

Page pulls Robert up to a vertical base where he shoots him towards Andre who hoists him up in the air and drives him down on to the side walk a Deadly Force Spinbuster! Chris saunters up towards a fallen Main with a smirk on his face. He looks down at Robert as he states.

” You keep playing these little fucking games, you keep showing your ass… and I will continue to kick it.”

Chris shifts his eyes just off camera. He walks off screen before returning with a sledge hammer in hand. He turns his attention to Robert’s bike before smashing Robert’s bike with it knocking it over to the ground. Page smashes Robert’s and Caedus’s bikes before tossing the sledge hammer to the side.

” I did not even need a numbers advantage to leave your sorry ass laying.”

Chris gives Andre a nod of the head as they walk away from the scene leaving Jim Caedus and Robert Main laying next to their busted bikes and in front of a crucified Drew Archyle as Wednesday Night Warfare fades to black.

Big D (matches)
Thad Duke (match and segs)
Morbid Angel (segs)
Chris Page (match and segments)
Miss Fury (match)
Billy B. Blankenship (segment)
Bobby Bourbon (segment)
Demos (match)
RL Edgar (match)

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Thaddeus Duke Offline
Management Lv. 2


XWF FanBase:
Some of everyone

(cheered; very rarely plays dirty but isn't lame either; many likable qualities)

06-23-2021, 08:23 PM


[Image: wgqr9W2.png]

1x  XWF Universal Champion || 3x  XWF Xtreme Champion || 1x  XWF Supercontinental Champion (First)
1x  XWF Hart Champion (Last) || 2x  XWF Television Champion || 1x  XWF Tag Team Champion
1x  OCW Savage Champion || 1x IIW Tag Team Champion  || 2x  SOTM (9/20, 7/21)
2021 Male Wrestler of the Year (shared w/ Alias) || XWF Hall of Legends
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ALIAS Offline
Space Jesus

XWF FanBase:

(gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)

06-24-2021, 12:52 AM

[Image: qJC6sse.gif]

[Image: RdSsyzg.gif]

[Image: HBsY4Zb.jpg]

Do you have a light?

[Image: 7qdASxF.jpg]
(Banner courtesy of Atara Themis)
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Steven Cooper Offline
Registered but either hasn't added self to a roster yet or doesn't RP

XWF FanBase:

(has an old school wrestling mentality; no nonsense; less appealing to some younger fans)

06-24-2021, 02:11 AM

After the show, Steven Cooper is seen addressing a reporter.

"I don't know what all the hubbub's about! It's always explosive when The Trooper comes 'round!"

A group of secret service agents slowly turn their heads towards Cooper, seemingly seconds away from opening fire.

"It's a turn of phrase, boys, get over it!"

Cooper walks off, closely pursued by the secret service.
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Ariel Dixon

XWF FanBase:
(.Awaiting user update)

06-24-2021, 05:24 AM

“ Thad was a good guy,” Ariel says trough clenched teeth, limping a bit…

A backstage worker tries to help her stand. She screams like a banshee, breaking his hand.

“Don’t touch! I hate when people touch me!”

She smiles eyes a little wide and crazy.

Great show everyone! Thanks go out to Thad for taking the time to make us both look good
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Atara Raven Offline
Αφροδίτη Ενσαρκωμένη

XWF FanBase:

(Physically attractive male on every level; can seduce you; that disarming smile; those bedroom eyes.)

06-24-2021, 04:09 PM

(06-24-2021, 12:52 AM)ALIAS Said:
[Image: qJC6sse.gif]

[Image: RdSsyzg.gif]

[Image: HBsY4Zb.jpg]

"Let's play find Atty's house."
[Image: PFaRNCz.jpg]
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