LIVE!!! FROM THE PENSACOLA BAY CENTER IN PENSACOLA, FLORIDA! Maverick - vs - Mini Morbid X-Treme Rules! If Maverick loses his title history is transferred to Mini Morbid! "Notorious" Ned Kaye - vs - Noah Jackson - vs - The Calvary Triple Threat! Geri Miller - vs - Maxine Internet Rules! Amjetkun Socio - vs - Atara Themis Fuzz - vs - Boris Stoli Showdown Match! Both competitors will have to guzzle three bottles of vodka before the match starts! ANARCHY CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Ruby - vs - Barney Green Inferno Match!

Flames and firecrackers light up the Pensacola Bay Center as a jam packed sold out crowd shakes the rafters with their enthusiasm.

“Loverboy” Vinnie Lane is in a Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses as he sits behind his announce booth with his flip flopped feet resting on top of the desk. A maitai in his hand, complete with little umbrella, is about half full as the pyro of Anarchy screams onto television sets across the nation!


Vinnie Lane: “Ladies and germs! We’re here in Pensacola, Florida! I’m gonna spend some time on the beach ASAP, but before that happens we have some SERIOUS action to get through… we’ve got MY FRIEND Barnabus Jennifer Green in our main event getting an opportunity to take home gold against Anarchy Champion Ruby in an inferno match! We’ve got Fuzz against Boris in a Stoli Special. Will the slave take the X-Treme Title off of newly-double champion Fuzz? Whose name is apparently SHAWN?”


The crowd pops as familiar entrance music hits the PA and Anarchy favorite Mini Morbid walks his way to the ring with what looks like a thousand foot long cape dragging behind him.


Vinnie Lane: “But FIRST! I demanded that Maverick, an old friend as well as an old enemy, stop being a little girl and GET BACK IN AN XWF RING! Now… let’s see if he shows up!”

Maverick - vs - Mini Morbid X-Treme Rules! If Maverick loses his title history is transferred to Mini Morbid!

Mini finishes his procession, handing his long cape off to a harem of naked servant women who bow and scrape at his feet before carrying it to the back. Mini then shadowboxes to warm up.

The opening riff of Warning by Cymbals Eat Guitars beings playing throughout the stadium, as the fans begin to litter the stadium with both cheers and boos. About twenty- five seconds in, Maverick can be seen bursting through the curtains, a cocky smile seen on his face. He stretches his arms out to the side, hands open- palmed, before raising his head to the heavens. All of a sudden, he turns around, leaving his back facing the ring, before slowly walking backwards to the ring.

About halfway down the ramp, Maverick faces back towards the ring, and lets his arms down, locking eyes with everybody inside the ring. Bouncing on his feet before giving off a heavy, deep breath, Maverick saunters towards the ring, bouncing his feet off of the steel steps as he gets there. He slowly steps in between the ropes, and paces back and forth, waiting for the match to begin.


Vinnie Lane: “Holy crap! He’s here! Maverick actually got his butt up off the couch and came to Anarchy!”


The bell rings and Maverick INSTANTLY flattens Mini Morbid with a spear! Maverick kneels over Mini’s mini body and starts driving hard elbows and forearms into the masked Mini’s masked mush. Mini’s little legs kick and squirm adorably, but Maverick stays on him, slicing his elbow across the MORBIDGOD’s forehead before grabbing him with both hands and driving the back of his skull ferociously into the mat repeatedly.


Vinnie Lane: “Jesus, Mav, don’t kill him!”


Maverick stands up once Mini’s limbs stop moving and he walks to the side of the ring closest to Vinnie’s desk. He points at Loverboy and mouths something that the house mics don’t quite pick up, but it sure gets Vin’s eyes to go wide.

Maverick then turns back to Mini Morbis and scoops him up by the legs and wheelbarrows him into the air, then drills him with a scintillating super kick! Perfect Wrath! Mini Morbid’s head bounces on the mat without an ounce of consciousness anywhere to be seen. Maverick doesn’t let up, though, as he scoops the tiny tyrant up and flips him upside down… Age of Perfection! The falcon arrow nearly drives Mini through the mat. Maverick grabs him and flips him again, and then hits a SECOND Age of Perfection, standing up after and spreading his arms out for the crowd to soak him in.


Vinnie Lane: “The people here in Pensacola are in shock with Maverick’s brutality here tonight… and so am I! Just end it already, dude!”


Maverick smirks as he gathers Mini Morbid up and then sends him pistoning into the mat for a third Age of Perfection. Mini Morbid is a motionless heap in the middle of the ring, and referee Virginia Hymen looks ready to call this match off… and then Maverick locks in the Pure Perfection! Maverick has Mini nearly bent in half and Mini Morbid’s arms are dangling limp from his body, giving the official no choice but to put a stop to the match!

Winner by Referee Stoppage - Maverick

Vinnie Lane: “Mini might be hurt! Maverick looks like he’s PROUD of what he’s done here tonight, but I gotta tell you dude, this crowd doesn’t sound to happy about what just happened!”

After the match, we find Noah Jackson and Fuzz backstage as Noah is getting ready for his match up next. He’s doing so by lifting up both of his titles as if doing curls.

After doing about ten curls, finally he sets the titles down and flexes in a nearby mirror in the locker room.

“What do you think, dad? Do my guns look jacked or what?”

“Or what?” Fuzz quickly retorts.

“Oh fuck off.”

He grabs his titles and begins to walk out of the room when he turns back.

“Wish me luck, cunt.”

“Do you need it?”

Noah thinks for a moment.

“Nah, cunt, I got this. Just wanted to hear you say it.”

“Fine. Good luck, son.”

Satisfied with himself, Noah exits the locker room before he sees Steve Sayers running up with an envelope in his hands.

“Hey Noah! Good I caught you before your match. This letter just arrived for you.”

“Really? Postage runs this late?”

“Well it was slid underneath the door into the interview area addressed to you.”

“Sick.”

Noah opens up the letter handing his titles to Steve to hang on to. As he reads, the words come into view over his shoulder.

“To Noah,

It’s time that you learn your lesson. It’s time you learned how it feels to be the subject of abuse and the target of an attack. I hope you find this letter in good health because you soon will be tested, and you won’t even know where it’s coming from or WHO it’s coming from.

Best of Luck, Champ.”


Once the letter is read, Noah balls it up and tosses it over his shoulder.

“Well that was a long wank for nothing. Thanks for holding the girls, cunt.”

Noah takes back his titles and begins whistling as he makes his way towards the ring as the balled up piece of paper is zoomed in on.

Looks like there's some commotion going on near the entrance to the building as security has stopped "The Great" Amjetkun "Path Maker" Socio "The Man Your Woman Thinks About While She's Fucking You".

It seems like they stopped the man of many muscles and many nicknames because they don't want him walking around through the arena with any weapons.............



And that big ass gun in his hand is considered a weapon in today's snowflake society, so of course they're giving him crap about something as simple as wanting to open-carry a firearm to make sure he's safe.

Socio: "I'm gonna shoot that fuckin dumb Atarry Thermos in her face and rape her!"

Security doesn't like the sound of that so they put a glock to his head and force him to give up his weapon or die.

He gives it up.................................for now.

Socio: "This is fucked up bro! You gottdamm pansies need to get your needledicks chopped the fuck off!"

Socio is pissed but he moves on without his really big gun he wanted to shoot Atara Themis with. One of the members of security sniffs Socio's gun and says it smells like steroids.

"Notorious" Ned Kaye - vs - Noah Jackson - vs - The Calvary Triple Threat!

Vinnie Lane: “I’ve been looking forward to this match for two weeks, dude! All three of these guys are at pivotal points in their careers… Calvary is a newcomer making waves, Noah Jackson is a double champion solidifying his legacy, and Ned Kaye is turning a new leaf with Apex Prophecy. This match is a big one!”

As the music kicks up, The Calvary can be spotted in the corner of the arena with his chest puffed out. He flies down to the ring before slowly descending onto a turnbuckle where he gives out a mighty bellow. He pounds his chest before stepping down into the ring and cracking his knuckles.


Vinnie Lane: “Calvary’s jaw is just so chiseled. Look at that thing.”

The entire stadium goes black as the song begins. Slowly, the X-Tron begins to show scarce, glowing embers, the light of each one illuminating smoke growing at the entrance of the ramp. As the song continues, more embers are seen until a large fire is displayed on the screen. The ramp then glows Ned's famous blue, revealing a silhouette in the smoke. Slowly stepping from the fog is none other then Notorious Ned Kaye. He stops for a moment, calming himself in front of the clamoring crowd. He lifts an arm, eyeing the stands to watch the many audience members who follow suit. With a single smile, he drops his arm and rushes towards the ring, slipping in from under the bottom rope, picking himself up immediately.


Vinnie Lane: “And here’s Ned Kaye. Talk about an up and down career. He’s looking for things to get back to the UP!”

"GET OUT OF ME COUNTRY"

The crowd pop as Noah Jackson strolls lazily from the back and basks in the glow of sick cunt energy washing over him. He slowly puts his right foot forward and glides down the ramp on his heelies, rhythmically raising and lowering pointed fingers to the sky as the crowd chants.

"CUNT!"
"CUNT!"
"CUNT!"

Until he reaches the apron where he gracefully rolls under the bottom rope and goes straight to the corner continuing his motions and the chants until his music is rudely cut off.


Vinnie Lane: “Can you believe that this time last year Noah Jackson was just some irrelevant Aussie with a masturbation addiction? Look at him now. Double champion. One of the XWF’s top names. Beloved by the fans. I don’t understand it, neither do you, but I’m happy the dude found his daddy.”


The bell sounds and a very worse for wear Noah Jackson seems nervous about getting into the ring so soon after the brutality he suffered at C-Fest. He looks to be trying to egg Calvary on towards Ned and vice versa, attempting to get the two of them to go at it and leave him out of things.


Vinnie Lane: “I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen that much athletic medical tape on one man’s torso before… Noah looks like a mummy, dude! And I should know, not only has XWF had super heroes, it’s had mummies!”


Ned isn’t buying it, and the stoic Calvary looks more willing to wait for someone to approach him rather than bring the fight to one opponent at the expense of taking his eyes of the other. Noah doesn’t give up easily though, and he walks to Calvary, trying to talk him into teaming up now. He seems to be offering a pair up to go after Ned together, even saying he’ll let Calvary take the pinfall himself.

Calvary just raises an eyebrow and looks incredulously at the upstart Aussie, but Noah appears to think things are going well. He even spits on his hand and holds it out, looking for a shake. But when Calvary ignores him, Noah gets a little miffed and slaps him on the shoulder, inadvertently using his spitty hand.


Vinnie Lane: “Uh oh.”


Calvary turns his attention fully to to Noah Jackson, who begs off after realizing what he’s done. He takes a step back and points at all the bandages covering his body… and Calvary socks him with a big uppercut.

Like… a BIG uppercut.


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Noah is sent flying up into the air from the force of Calvary superpowered super punch. Jackson careens upward and hits the ceiling of the arena, busting a hole in the roof in a cartoonish silhouette of his own body before vanishing up into the sky.


Vinnie Lane: “OOOOH! My bad! I totally forgot to turn on the Equalizer!”


Vinnie turns a knob on a remote control he suddenly has in his hands and a bizarre feedback sound squeals through the air momentarily. Calvary slumps a little but doesn’t look to be in any pain… just more mortal.


Vinnie Lane: “Yeah dude how do you think we have aliens and zombies and stuff competing in XWF? It wouldn’t be fair if they were just running roughshod over everyone because of SUUUUUPER powers, would it? So I got this thing that makes everyone just normal. Should have done that before the match, though.”


With Calvary looking confused, Ned Kaye sees his chance and runs across the ring, drilling a flying knee into Calvary’s face. Calvary is dropped, and Ned doesn’t slow up one bit. He runs to a corner and ambles up to the top, leaping off just as Calvary struggles to his feet with a high angled cross body that collapses Ned on top of Calvary, where he hooks a leg and goes for a quick pin!




1!




























2!!



Calvary emphatically kicks out. Ned throws a quick shining wizard attempt but Calvary bats him aside and then slaps a head and arm choke onto him while still lying on the mat. Calvary twists his body at a perpendicular angle to Ned’s to give maximum torque to his hold, but Ned manages to scramble enough to slide out under the bottom rope, taking away Calvary’s leverage.


Vinnie Lane: “Smart thinking there. Ned’s newfound friendship with the Apex boys is paying dividends with that kind of veteran maneuver!”


Ned slips back into the ring just as Calvary follows him out, giving him the high ground. Ned grips the top rope and somersaults over, diving onto Calvary below with a rolling senton that sends both men crashing into the guardrailing surrounding the ring.

Somehow, Calvary is first to his feet. He gathers Ned behind the neck and tosses him roughly against the ring apron, then follows him in with a short angle clothesline. Dazed, Ned drops to his knees. Calvary grips him by the forehead and throws him backward so the back of his head smacks into the ring apron, dropping him in a pile.

Calvary pulls Ned up and rolls him back into the ring, entering right behind. He nods at referee Mika Hunt and then hooks Ned’s head under his arm, lifting him in a suspended vertical suplex while he turns around a full 360 degrees to allow all of Ned’s blood to run into his head. He then slams him to the mat with a thunderous jackhammer, hooking a leg and looking to the official for a count.



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Kickout from Ned! Calvary looks surprised, but impressed.


Vinnie Lane: “Ned showing some real endurance right now. That shot to the head would put down a lot of people!”


Calvary stands, dragging Ned up by the hair. He hooks his arms behind Ned’s waist, looking for a German suplex. Ned sees his predicament and runs forward, hitting his front against the ropes and dragging Calvary with him. Ned hooks his arms under the bottom rope and the inertia knocks Calvary backward, sending him sprawling. Ned turns around as Calvary stands, and he hits a quick step up enzuigiri that sends Calvary for a loop. Before Calvary can regain his feet, Ned swoops in and plants him with a snap DDT.

Seeing Calvary squirming and grabs up both of his ankles, then hops and snaps Calvary’s legs apart in a wishbone maneuver that leaves Calvary gripping his groin in anguish. Ned follows up with a knee to the hamstring and then turns Calvary over in a single leg crab!


Vinnie Lane: “Calvary’s in trouble everyone! Imagine if we see a superhero tap out here tonight?”


Calvary writhes in pain, but eventually he does a HEROIC push up, getting some of the pressure off of his knee and lower back. With a thrust, he kicks his legs straight and sends Ned Kaye flying into a corner, where he stumbles between the turnbuckles and crashes into the ring post! Ned is on dream street!

Calvary gets to his feet and turns to see Ned in trouble, but then he hears a high pitched bleating coming from above him.


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***SPLAT***

Vinnie Lane: “What goes up must come down, dudes! Looks like Noah’s back… and he landed right on top of Calvary! Pretty amazing that he came right back through that same hole in the roof in exactly the same position enough to slip right through!”

Noah and Calvary lie in a pile in the middle of the ring for a moment before Calvary groans and rolls away, dropping to the floor at ringside. Ned Kayae gets his wits about him and sees Noah Jackson flattened. He limps over to the TV and Tag Team Champion holding his arm at the shoulder and simply flops on top of Jackson!




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3!!!

Winner by Pinfall - “Notorious” Ned Kaye

Vinnie Lane: “Ned’s done it! Wow! A big win for the Notorious one tonight over a double champion! That’s GOT to have title implications, right???”

Geri Miller - vs - Maxine Internet Rules!

Vinnie Lane: “Well this match should be fun. I hope Maxine leaves more than just a flattened pancake of Geri when she’s done.”

The towering Maxine steps out from behind the curtain wearing an AMJETKITCHEN 4 LIFE tee shirt with the sleeves cut off. She also has a small headdress with one tiny feather sticking out, which is racially problematic in a few ways but goes over GREAT in the Florida Panhandle!


Vinnie Lane: “Maxine here trying to get a little bit of retribution for her partner Bobbi London, the former Internet Champion. Geri took the title from Bob, and Max wants to settle the score!”

Vinnie bops around at the booth dancing very whitely to Geri’s entrance music/video.


Vinnie Lane: “This is Billie Eilish, right? I love this, this is in fact my jam! I’m young!”


Geri Miller makes her way to the ring with her XWF Internet Championship. The fans cheer for her as she looks toward the ring with determination.


DING! DING! DING!


The bell sounds as Maxine and Geri Miller circle around the ring. Maxine reaches across the ring to grab ahold of Geri, but she quickly ducks underneath her huge arms before springing off the second rope towards Maxine. But Maxine catches her crossbody in her arms. Maxine lifts up Geri before turning around and depositing her right on the mat with a gorilla press! Geri clutches at her abdomen after taking the fall.

Vinnie Lane: “That’s a long way down and Geri may have cracked a rib or two!”

The much larger Maxine reaches down and grabs Geri up by her hair before whipping her into the ropes. Geri gets to the ropes and hooks an arm around the top rope halting her progress. Maxine sees this and charges her with her arm extended. Geri manages to roll beneath the shot as Maxine whiffs with her clothesline. She turns around and catches a kick right to the face as Geri catches her with a Pele kick!

Maxine staggers backwards into the ropes as Geri gets back to her feet and rushes her with a running superkick!

But Maxine catches the leg and yanks her close before whipping her up onto her shoulders and dropping her face-first with the slam!

MAXED OUT!

Vinnie Lane: “Well this match might be over sooner than anticipated after that variation of the Big Ending!”

Maxine covers her with a cocky foot upon Geri’s chest!

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KICKOUT!

Vinnie Lane: “Looks like Geri wants to be dominated some more. Something I definitely understand.”

Maxine grabs Geri up, but Geri nails her with a huge slap! Maxine’s head turns to the side as her hair falls over her face. She stops and slowly turns her face back to Geri who quickly realizes that angering the beast may not be the best alternative! Geri backs up quickly as Maxine slowly staggers after her with murder in her eyes.

Geri kicks at the knees and legs of Maxine, but it’s seemingly having no effect on the angered giant. Geri reaches the ropes and uses them as separation as the referee slides in the way pushing Maxine back. She backs up despite obviously seething. The referee slides out of the way.

Superkick!

Vinnie Lane: “Is there a fire growing within Geri?! Can she topple this monster of a woman?”

The kick finds purchase on the chin of Maxine this time as she’s out on her feet! Geri looks a bit surprised before sliding around behind Maxine and hooking her hands for a German suplex!

She actually lifts Maxine! About an inch off the ground before a huge elbow rears back and smacks Geri knocking her for a loop. She staggers backwards before Maxine grabs her up only for Geri to rake her eyes!


Geri hits the ropes before rushing forward and nailing a diving dropkick directed right for the knees of the massive Maxine! The behemoth hits the mat. Geri quickly scales the turnbuckle and points down before leaping off for a 630 Splash!

THE MILLER’S TALE!

Vinnie Lane: “Maxine was just squashed by the impact of that move! Can Geri actually pull this one off?!”

Geri hooks her leg!

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3!!!

Winner by Pinfall - Geri Miller

All of a sudden out of nowhere bursts AMJETKUN SOCIO THE ALL DAY ALL NIGHTER! He comes up behind Maxine and grabs a BIG ol' fuckin trunk full of ass in both hands. Maxine is shocked at what she feels so she spins around to see BLAMM!!!!

Socio just hit her in the head with a giant club like from the caveman days!!!!!

He drags her by the ankle all the way to the back and who knows what happens next. Must be a super quick warm up for his match.


Vinnie Lane: “Gross!”

Amjetkun Socio - vs - Atara Themis

Vinnie Lane: “This is the night of mis-matched opponents as Socio must eat Atara’s weight in protein every morning!”

Comes out clapping and smiling, then doing the entrance music video routine just killin' it like a pimp on the dance floor. He finishes that bit and goes back to pumping his fists and nuts like a champ until he slips on some grease and has a full blown roid rage fit, spinning clotheslines and uppercuts to dicks, so many fans and ring crew people get hurt.


Vinnie Lane: “Amjetkun Socio here looking STACKED as always. I heard a rmor that Sosh eats an ENTIRE COW a day!”

The arena lights dim and shift color casting the venue in a purple haze while simultaneously the ramp and stage lights turn pink. Hello Doves appears briefly on the X-tron in pink accompanied by Atara's voice saying the same over the arena PA right before Venus by Lady Gaga hits the speakers. The crowd goes apeshit crazy. Arena lights start to pulse in time with the music and multiple vertical streams of pyro erupt across the front of stage as Atara appears from backstage in a full grunge walk to centerstage right before the ramp. Posing for the camera, she blows a kiss before throwing off a silk robe to reveal her attire for the night.

The crowd takes apeshit crazy to new heights. Roses and flowers of every kind are tossed to the stage and ramp. Boys discover erections for the first time, erectile dysfunction is cured, closet lesbians call their parents and come out, it's hysteria.

She full on catwalk struts to the ringsteps and stops at the top to posture once more for the fans before going to the middle of the apron where she blows yet another kiss to the camera before entering the ring very Stacy Kiebler-ish and awaits the start of the match.


Vinnie Lane: “What? I don’t have a woody, YOU have a woody! And Socio DEFINITELY has a woody… I can see it from here!”


DING! DING! DING!

The bell sounds as Atara hesitantly moves towards the massive Amjetkun who flexes at her before giving her a little wink. Her hesitation seems to quickly fade as this happens. She quickly revolves before clocking him with a spinning knife edge chop. Socio simply flexes and begs her to do it again. She turns around and connects with a second one as Socio just sticks out his tongue and laughs. She goes for a kick that Socio catches in his meaty hands before he waves a finger in her face.

She bites the finger!

The referee admonishes her as Socio gives out a scream at a higher decibel than thought possible!

Vinnie Lane: “Jesus Christ, Socio may have just broken the damn sound barrier!”

He recoils holding his finger before he gets clocked in the back of the head with an enzuigiri sending him down to the mat. Atara hits the ropes and comes back with a dropkick sending him sideways into the ropes. She hits the ropes again and rushes at him, but Socio rushes at her as she’s blasted just by his damn lightning fast speed!

THE 5 K!

She’s blasted backwards into the corner, but she quickly comes back at him only for his huge hands to wrap around her head and TOSS her across the ring. He quickly goes over and puts a hand on her throat as well as her junk.

Vinnie Lane: “Umm… this is going to get us in trouble…”

Amjetkun begins doing a handstand using Atara as his base.

THE ANTI-GRAVITY GORILLA PRESS!

He pushes off of her as Atara’s eyes flash fury as she’s covering herself. Socio seems to not even realize what he’s done as he flexes a bit to the crowd.

He turns back to her just in time to catch a bicycle knee catching him right on the chin and flooring him!

JUDGEMENT OF PARIS!

Atara doesn’t even cover him as she runs up and just PUNTS him right in the balls! Socio grabs his boys in pain before catching a kick right in the face forcing his nose to spurt out blood from the impact of the kick!

Vinnie Lane: “This is why you better watch where you put your hands, Socio!”

Atara wraps up his arms and rolls him over into a pinning attempt!

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TH-NO! Socio manages to squeeze out of the pin at the last second.

Both competitors get to their feet as Socio drives a huge punch right into the abdomen of Atara before hooking her head. He signals for the end as he lifts her up clenching her head tightly to his massive pecs!

He hooks the leg of Atara as he picks her up before hitting a high-angle vertical suplex with a leg hooked! He falls into the perfectplex with the leg hooked into a pinning combination.

THE PHPPP!

Vinnie Lane: “The Pump Handle Pill Popper Suplex connects and Atara is in serious jeopardy.”

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3!!!

Winner by Pinfall – Amjetkun Socio

Socio has rolled out of the ring and is looking under the ring for a weapon. He finds a huge bottle of bleach and some hot dog tongs.

Socio runs up behind Atara and clobbers her in the head with the big ass bottle of bleach and it bursts, sending bleach everywhere. Socio curb stomps Atara, then rushes backward to the corner and looks like a total psycho as he starts hulking up and getting ready... he runs at Atara just as she starts to move... PUNT KICK!!!!

He takes the hot dog tongs, opens her mouth, clamps the tongs down onto her tongue to yank it out as far as it'll come out without being ripped free, and he carefully controls her tongue with the tongs and brushes it against the bleach soaked canvas.

Socio: "Lap up that bleach bitch! You need it after all the dicks you done sucked!!!!"

She's unconscious as Socio continues for a few more seconds. Then he takes the tongs and whips them far into the audience. From the great distance we hear an "OOOOUCH!! FUCK!!!" from somewhere in the crowd.

Socio looks around like he's not sure what happens next. He climbs to the middle rope and leaps, crashing down into Atara's skull with a flying knee smash with a shit ton of roided up weight behind it. A dent is made in the canvas under Atara's head as refs and security and even some hardcore fans that really wanna fuck Atara all rush in and stop Socio as he was about to double foot stomp her head from the top rope! Socio ends up losing his balance and falling off, all the way to the outside with a sickening thud!

He's out!!! He's knocked out cold from the fall!

Atara is still unconscious and bleeding from her head and tongue.

EMTs end up having to stretcher both of them out of there.

In the back, Socio wakes up and has the mother of all roid rages, throwing the EMTs around like they were unwanted puppies. He's punching holes in walls, headbutting backstage monitors, ripping wires out of the ceiling, gouging massive chunks of the floor up from under him with his bare hands, and screaming about how he's done playing nice it he's got to put up with this much bullshit just to get his nut on.

We catch up with that Sick Cunt, Noah Jackson walking backstage. He's looking rather confident, as usual, his swagger unscathed.


*WHACK*


Noah gets nailed in the back with a chairshot, and we see Robbie Bourbon standing over him holding said chair. Noah turns and sees Robbie standing there, a weird glare in Robbie's eyes.

"What? Robbie, why? Robbie, no, don't, Robbie!"

Robbie drops the chair, looking as though he just now realized what he did and shocked about it.

Robbie? Robbie who?

Robbie's gaze narrows again as Noah looks up in horror. Robbie throws a punt to Noah Jackson's ribs.

Say my name motherfucker.

Referees and officials run up and try to hold Robbie back. This gives Noah a chance to recover, and he dives over the human wall at Robbie! A flurry of shots to Bourbon! Bourbon retaliates and grips Noah by the throat! EMC to Noah Jackson onto the floor!

Go tell your 'dad' that the grown-ups need to have a little chat.

Fuzz - vs - Boris Stoli Showdown Match! Both competitors will have to guzzle three bottles of vodka before the match starts!

Russian hard donk plays as Boris squeals down the ramp in his Dacia.

Vinnie Lane: "WOAH! Boris brought a crew!"


Like the pied piper for Vodka, Slavs bop down after the car chasing the smell of Stolichnaya.

Boris crashes his car into the apron and opens up the driver's side door where a bunch of bottles of Vodka clatter onto the ground; Boris steps out and goes onto the hood of his car and drunkenly dances to his Slavic soldiers.

Vinnie Lane: "Looks like Boris had more than just three bottles... That's probably gonna bit him in the ass."

Boris walks over his hood and falls through the ropes into the ring continue bopping his head and waving his arms like a large bird taking flight.

The crowd pop as Fuzz walks down the ramp looking completely sober; the Xtreme around his waist, case in one hand and the Tag over the other; he makes his way down the ramp going to high fives fans before reminding everyone that his hands are full and smirking like a cunt before moving pass the slavs, holding his belongings like an elderly woman clutching her purse on the subway and quickly slides into the ring, handing his possessions to the ref.

Vinnie Lane: "Fuzz looking sober as a nun at a charity raffle, looks like he's going to have to drink all 3 bottles in the ring."

The ref takes the titles and case to the far corner away from the hungry Slavs near the apron and comes back with 3 large bottles of vodka. Fuzz exhales looking at them and takes all 3. He puts two down purposely close to the apron and begins to down one bottle as the crowd chant.

"CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!"

Fuzz downs the bottle and grimaces from the tastes as Boris and the audience applaud. Fuzz goes to take another bottle but acts shocked as it's missing along with the crew of Slavs. Fuzz shrugs to the ref who looks over and ask the timekeeper to grab two more. Suddenly an "intern" who is definitely not Noah Jackson wearing a fake moustache but is definitely in his ring gear and trademark "Sick Cunts" t-shirt quickly runs down the ramp with two very clear bottles of "vodka." He enters the ring and hands the two bottles to Fuzz and gives him a kiss on the forehead before running away.

Vinnie Lane: "What a sweet young man."

Fuzz then proceeds to drink both bottles with no problem; he wipes his mouth once both are empty and the ref calls to start the match.

DING! DING! DING!

Fuzz goes low into a stance as Boris yells OPPA! and goes down into that weird Russian kick dance and menacingly gets closer and closer to a very confused Fuzz; the dangerous Adidas covered feet getting terrifyingly close!

Vinnie Lane: "Fuzz's shins are in trouble!"

But Fuzz simply kicks Boris in the face and knocks him to his back; The Slav King falls onto the ground like a dead fly and lies still for a few seconds, looooong seconds. So much that Fuzz and the ref edge closer to see if Boris is actually dead or not.

Then!

Boris kips up to a huge pop and immediately goes into the kick dance with added opening and closing of his arms, Fuzz is taken back in shock and gets a hard toe to his right shin, followed by a heavy toe to his right shin! Fuzz hops on one leg in pain as the Russian Terminator dances closer towards him; Fuzz sees an opening and clatters Boris with an enziguri which knocks him to the mat. Fuzz quickly gets to his feet and Boris rolls to his as the two meet in the center; Fuzz chops Boris to loosen his guard and launches him towards the ropes. Boris sprints back and Fuzz ducks down to his stomach and quickly gets up to go into the ropes. The two meet in the middle and Boris goes low forcing Fuzz to leapfrog over and goes back to the ropes but Fuzz abruptly stops himself as he sees Boris Slav Squatting in the center, his cold sunglasses focused on the Xtreme Champ.

Vinnie Lane: "If I didn't know any better Boris is trying to assert dominance."

Fuzz stares at Boris' unmoving stance and slowly makes his way towards the patron saint of vodka. Boris stays still, like Buddha sitting under the tree. Fuzz gets closer and closer and Boris makes no motion; Fuzz waves his hand in front on Boris unflinching face and he does nothing.

Fuzz places a hand on Boris' shoulder and that is when he takes action! Rolling up Fuzz with a schoolboy! The ref slides in for the count!

1


...


2


...


KICKOUT!

Fuzz gets pissed as Boris explodes away and quickly rolls out of the ring making a 'WEEEEEEE' sound on the way as he falls to the outside. Fuzz gets to his knees and stifles a burp with a shake of his head.

Vinnie Lane: "Looks like that vodka is kicking in on Fuzz."

Boris disappears for a moment and brings back SIX more bottles of vodka as he stands back up! The tops between his fingers he tosses one to Fuzz who catches it and the one to the ref and another to Vinnie at the booth!

Vinnie Lane: "Sweet! Thanks, dude! Sayanora! That's Russian, right?"

Boris opens the lid of one and pours it down his open mouth messily and tosses the bottle into the crowd, blinding a small child. He grabs the last two bottles in his hand and mounts the turnbuckle giving a Steve Austin head shake before smashing both bottles together with explode apart and Boris tries to drink any remainder from the debris as he holds the broken halves above his head. Boris tosses the broken bottles away and hops off the apron, Fuzz goes for a high five which Boris happily goes high for BUT FUZZ CRACKS THE BOTTLE OVER HIS HEAD!

Boris falls to the mat, blood appearing from under his balaclava as he lies soaking in vodka. Fuzz lifts Boris back up who can barely stand and picks him up for a powerbomb, running him towards the ropes and throwing him into the Dacias's windshield! Fuzz hops over the apron and covers Boris on top of the car. The ref, a little tipsy from drinking some vodka goes to count, even though this technically shouldn't count.

1


...


2


...


THR-NO!

Boris kicks out!

A fucking mighty kick out too! Fuzz reels back a little worried.

Vinnie Lane: "Oh shit! I think the vodka soaked into Boris' open wounds! He's like a Slavic Hulk now!"

The two teeter on the car's hood; Fuzz throws a strike but Boris catches the strike and twists Fuzz's arm before dropping him onto the hood with a monster DDT! The two fall off the car and drop to the ground; Boris makes his way over to Fuzz who tries to shake the cobwebs and nails Fuzz with a running knee! Boris is in full advantage as he grabs Fuzz's belt and collar and hurls in around and tosses him through the driver's side window! The glass smashes as Fuzz falls into the car! The crowd get blood-thirsty and go wild! Boris huffs and rips open the car door to finish Fuzz off but The XWF Legend, blood dripping from him, turns quickly around and tosses the burning hot cigarette lighter in Boris' direction!

It hits the vodka-soaked clothes and Boris ignites!

Vinnie Lane: "Woah!!! Okay, I didn't expect this when I booked this match, seriously!"

The crowd gasp, scream and other adjectives as Boris flails around on flame! Fuzz removes Boris' high-end radio from the dash and charges Boris and nails the radio against his head! Boris goes to the mat and the alcohol disperses, leaving only Boris in a charred tracksuit. Fuzz stomps a foot on Boris and calls the ref to make the pin.

1


...


2


...


THRE-NO!!!

BORIS GETS A SHOULDER UP!

THE CROWD GO WILD!

"HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!"

Fuzz is in awe as Boris slowly gets to his feet with aid of the barricade.

Fuzz looks almost sympathetic to the plight of Boris, watching the slav have so much difficulty getting to his feet. He seems reticent to add any more pain to the man, but the official lets him know the match has to have a finish.

Boris staggers toward Fuzz, taking a swing at him but missing badly, nearly knocking himself back to the ground but instead collapsing against Fuzz’s body. Fuzz looks around, looks at Boris in a nearly dead state… and scoops him up into the Afterthought!

Fuzz with the cover!





1!





























2!!


















































3!!!

Winner by Pinfall - Fuzz

Vinnie Lane: “What a match! Why are so many people catching fire tonight? The Pensacola fire department would be pissed at us right now if they weren’t all drunk!”

Fuzz is walking backstage, his Xtreme Championship belt draped over one shoulder, his 24/7 case in his other hand. He suddenly stops.

"What the fuck do you want? Get out of here you fat piece of..."

From around the corner steps Robbie Bourbon, swiftly grabbing Fuzz by the throat, hoisting him and driving him into the concrete floor with an EMC! An official comes up, noticing the attack on the Xtreme Champion! Robbie looks at the referee, then back down at Fuzz. Robbie throws a couple stomps at Fuzz, then leans down, and it looks like he's going to pin the Xtreme Champion! No! Robbie brings Fuzz back up to his feet and throws a forearm into his jaw! Robbie looks at a nearby table, grabs Fuzz by the back of his head, and slams his face into it.

Does this look like a contender to you, Puddin'?

Robbie slams Fuzz's face into the table a second time.

All I see is comic relief...

Robbie slams Fuzz's face again, splitting his lip open. Bloody drool drips onto the table.

...a god damned whoopie cushion...

Robbie spins and tosses Fuzz into the cinder block wall of the hall they are in headfirst. Fuzz crumples to the floor as the referee stands ready to make the count on the Xtreme Champion.

...a fucking joke book someone forgot to take back to the library...

Robbie tromps over and picks up the 24/7 case, and sets it under Fuzz's head.

...spouting off recycled bullshit and calling it fresh...

Robbie steps over and picks up the Xtreme Title belt. He looks at it for a moment before looking back at Fuzz.

...a garbage champion who will tell everybody about what he's done...

Robbie plops the Xtreme Championship belt onto Fuzz's head, plate side against his face, his cranium now sandwiched between title belt and briefcase.

...lookit what I'm doing, for fuck's sake, take a good long look.

Robbie pivots and picks up a steel chair that just happened to be backstage. He hoists it up high...


*THWACK*


Fuzz's body convulses after the massive chairshot, crushing his head between his title and his case. Robbie tosses the chair aside, and looks at the camera.

Puddin', you keep calling out to this little bowl of petunias here, you keep hoping for someone to come down to the ring so you can vindicate yourself against them, for some goofy reason, because you can't let go of some nonsense they say. You can't get past the fact Fuzz said something mean about you, now or in some past life of yours, and now you want to prove to the world you can beat him?

Robbie kicks Fuzz in the stomach.

This fool is going to get up again, and again, and again, just to run his mouth, ain't ya, petunia?

Robbie looks down at Fuzz, who groans.

I didn't ask you to say a damn thing!

Robbie kicks Fuzz in the stomach again. The Xtreme Championship belt slides off his head, revealing his mouth has bled quite a bit all over the 24/7 case.

Puddin', there ain't no reason for you to seek out a challenger, especially one who don't want to work for the Universal Championship.

Robbie hoists Fuzz up and puts him in a bearhug. Robbie slams Fuzz into the brick wall, and completes being Honestly Brutal but slinging him back to the concrete floor.

Especially one who has excuses. Me, I have none. I lost, fair and square, but at least I'm man enough to step up and face you...

Fuzz tries to bring himself to his feet, realizing he needs to defend himself. Fuzz delivers a low blow to Robbie, doubling him over! Fuzz slowly gets back to his feet, picks up the 24/7 case, and brings it down across Robbie's back! Robbie stands straight up and glares at Fuzz! Fuzz brings the case back up to hit Robbie with it, but Robbie throws a kick straight to the pills! Fuzz doubles over, dropping the case. Robbie hoists Fuzz up...

ROBBIEBOMB THROUGH A TABLE!!!

Robbie takes a deep breath and looks at the camera.

...at least I'm man enough to face you again.

Fuzz barely reaches up, and puts a hand on Robbie's boot.

Fuck off'a me!

Robbie throws another kick to the gut of Fuzz. He picks up the 24/7 case and considers it. He traces his hand through the bloody marks left by Fuzz, then tosses it into a nearby trash can.

Face it, Puddin'.

This kind of garbage would rather win a tournament to host a fucking pay-per-view than face you, or me for that matter, in the kind matches that matter here in the XWF. The kind of battles one fights for the Universal Championship. He'll fight Barney, he'll fight Mastermind, but he doesn't want anything to do with the ones who put asses in seats and sell out the arenas. Big time mouth, sideshow activity. This little Fuzz ball, petunia here, he don't have the heart, the spine, or the balls to step up, and right about now...

Robbie glances exaggeratedly at Fuzz, then back at the camera.

...right about now I don't think many of his body parts are really working the way they aught to.

Robbie starts to walk off, down the hall. More officials run up onto the scene, along with medics, to check on the Xtreme Champion. The first referee looks around at the rest.

"I thought he was going to try to pin him! Otherwise I would have stopped it!"

ANARCHY CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Ruby - vs - Barney Green Inferno Match!

Vinnie Lane: “What the heck? I was ready for some Madonna!”


"Death March" By Motionless In White starts to play as the fans boo throughout the arena. Out comes Barney Green as we see that figure with him. The figure cackles as he sees Barney Green start walking down towards the ring. The fans look frightened as the figure follows him. He makes it to the ring as we see the figure pull out a car battery and jumper cables. Green just exposes his thumbs to him as the figure sparks the cables and then places them on Green's thumbs as Green just grunts. he removes the cables and Green climbs into the ring. Green just stares into space as his music fades.

Ruby emerges in her full Super Dear-O costume, probably to cover as much of her body as possible from potential flames. She heads to the ring with her Anarchy Title, the fans frothing and cheering for her.


Vinnie Lane: “The continuous trend of David vs. Goliath is present here in the main event! As it’s the smaller Ruby going up against the Barn for the Anarchy Championship!”


The two get set, and the fires are lit around the ring.

DING! DING! DING!

The bell sounds as Barney comes running out of the gate with a huge clothesline that Ruby ducks underneath before hitting the ropes and firing back with a springboard hurricanrana! Surprising, the speed and intensity of the move actually makes Barney flip and land flat on his back! He rolls to his feet as she charges with a crossbody!

But Barney catches her and quickly nails a high-angle body slam! He hits the ropes himself and comes back before leaping up and little and driving an elbow right into her chest!

The flames around the ring shoot up in response to the slam!

Vinnie Lane: “Oh, I may have forgotten to mention, but this match is HOT! The only way to win is to set your opponent on FIRE!”

Barney grabs the arm of Ruby and pulls her to her feet. He kicks her in the midsection nearly knocking her over before hooking her leg and nailing a fisherman suplex!

FOLEYPLEX!

Barney rolls over on top of her only to hook her head and stand up pulling her to her feet and lifting her up into a suplex! Ruby hits the mat hard with her back arching up in pain as the flames rise up once again!

Barney looks around at the fire almost getting mesmerized by it for a second before snapping back to attention on Ruby. He goes to grab her, but she manages to slip his hold and take a few steps back. Barney comes after her, but she drops down and hits a drop-toe hold sending his momentum redirected right into the mat. She rolls over him and quickly scales the top rope in a blink of an eye! She leaps off backwards with a flip landing across the back of Barney with a moonsault!

Ruby rolls to her feet clutching her side a bit before beckoning for Barney to rise to his feet. She smirks before running towards the ropes and springing off them! Barney looks up just in time to see two boots blast him backwards into the ropes! He’s still standing but he looks over the ropes to see the flames licking up at him. He quickly turns around to see Ruby coming at him.

INTELLIGENT DIVERSION!

The throat punch stops the moment of Ruby as she staggers back clutching at her throat in obvious pain. Barney grabs her and lifts her up slightly before snapping back into a DDT and suplex hybrid move!

GREEN AWAKENING!

Both competitors are laid out at this point as Barney is holding his back where he caught that moonsault. He slowly rises to his feet before grabbing Ruby and dragging her towards the ropes. He grabs her legs and begins to try and toss her over the ropes and into the flames below!

Vinnie Lane: “Ruby could be in trouble here! Barney has his eye on the prize!”

Ruby is almost dumped over when she begins panicking! She drills Barney in the eye with several kicks allowing herself to get some separation before moving back into the ring.

Barney comes charging at Ruby and grabs her, but she leaps up and hooks his head before driving him into the mat with a move very similar to Barney’s finish!

THE RUBY CUTTER!

Barney is slammed into the mat with a thud, but he actually bounces up from the impact in a groggy state! Ruby rushes him and nails a running dropkick sending Barney through the ropes!

AND INTO THE FIRE!


Vinnie Lane: “Barney must have lied today because his pants are on fire!”

Winner (and STILL Anarchy Champion) by Inflicting Burns – Ruby

Vinnie Lane: “I’ve never seen a more reluctant winner than I do right now. Ruby looks like she’s in tears trying to help put the fire out on Barney Green!”


Ruby grabs the mats from ringside and covers Barney, finally killing the flames that were starting to lap up around Green’s body.

Barney stands up, breathing heavy, smoke rising from his clothing… and when Ruby smiles at him and gives him a thumbs up, he grabs her and drives her face first into the concrete with an STO!

Barney leaves Ruby laying on her face and finds the decorative cape Ruby wore to the ring, crumpling it into a little ball and then throwing it into the fire!


Vinnie Lane: “Barney what the heck!?”


Vinnie Lane pops up from behind the announce booth and rushes over to help Ruby… but gets caught by a massive clothesline from Barney! Shoving medics and ring crew away, Barney grabs Vinnie and throws him into the flames, where his HEAVILY hairsprayed blonde locks ignite like a christmas tree on New Year’s Eve.

Anarchy goes off the air with Vinnie Lane screaming.

SPECIAL THANKS: Calvary Noah Jackson Amjetkun Socio Robbie Bourbon

Noah pulls a tooth from his mouth and examines it before putting it his pocket.

"Well, good on you Ned, you finally managed to beat a cunt who was already on the brink of death and got launched like a Frisbee by Captain Substance Abuse. Feel good, cunt it won't last long."

"And I got attacked by a dewgong in a mask! Whoever that masked assailant was needs to go find his place on the undercard before demanding shit from me. I-"

Noah splutters some blood from his mouth.

"Well, shit, that's not good. Back to the hospital... This show fucking tanked."

Holder of the most wins in the XWF (Mostly house shows)

Holder of the most draws in XWF (All on Anarchy)

Winner of Sickest Cunt of the Year 2020

Winner of Greatest Wrestler who ever lived 2022

Holder of the world's rarest pog collection (Valued at $200)

Owner of Ned Kaye's cat that Ned named Deepthroat for some weird reason

Voted most feared man by Centurion (Twice!)

Welp, ladies and gentlemen, YOUR XWF tag team champions.

Next I will be interviewing Dax Harris, and after that, anybody else Engineer feels like calling out.

(01-31-2020, 02:07 PM)Robbie Bourbon Said: Welp, ladies and gentlemen, YOUR XWF tag team champions.

Next I will be interviewing Dax Harris, and after that, anybody else Engineer feels like calling out.

Holy shit! Are you gonna fuck up everybody I call out?! Because I got a list!

Socio: "I'M DONE PLAYIN! I TOLD YOU FUCKS I'M DONE PLAYIN! THIS GONNA BE THE YEAR 2020 AMJETKUN PATH MAKER THE SOCIO OF GREATEST HOLY FUCK MUSCLE!!!!!!!!!!"

(01-31-2020, 02:07 PM)Robbie Bourbon Said: Welp, ladies and gentlemen, YOUR XWF tag team champions.

Next I will be interviewing Dax Harris, and after that, anybody else Engineer feels like calling out.

DUDE!!

NOT COOL!!

Since I can't leave this crappy brand anyway, how about Robbie Bourbon vs Vita Valenteen next week!!?