Date: May 19, 2014
Arena: AT & T Center
City: San Antonio, Texas
As the broadcast begins with see the 5 members of the nWo in their private lockerroom yelling at a man seated on a couch. The camera can't really make the identity of the man out until Hollywood Hogan throws a set of papers down and walks away for a second before turning back and getting back in the man's face, the man is XWF attorney Mr. Law.
HOLLYWOOD HOGAN: "Now I know why that dipshit Gilmour likes you so much, you are as incompetent as he is. You told me, you swore to me brother that this contract was IRON CLAD, that I could never be removed as owner."
MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE: "Ohhhhh yeahhhhh Iron clad"
MR. LAW ESQ.: "I understand that Mr. Hogan and you are right, Peter Gilmour does love me, and I thought this contract was Iron Clad, how was I supposed to know another "Shane
" would show up and invoke the one clause in the contract that removes you from power."
HOLLYWOOD HOGAN: "I pay you to know everything brother!"
MR. LAW ESQ.: "Well I'm sorry Mr, Hogan but there is nothing else that can be done. "Shane
" is the new owner of the XWF."
HOLLYWOOD HOGAN: "Now what are we supposed to do?
MR. LAW ESQ.: "I don't know Mr. Hogan, win your match tonight."
HOLLYWOOD HOGAN: "Are you kidding me jack? I know that. You know what, Big Kev, take care of this guy."
BIG KEV: "It would be my pleasure."
Kevin Nash picks up Mr. Law, all 150 pounds of him and tosses him out the window.
HOLLYWOOD HOGAN: "Big Kev what the hell are you doing brother?"
BIG KEV: "You said to take care of him. So I took care of him."
HOLLYWOOD HOGAN: "I didn't mean throw him out the window."
BIG KEV: "We are on the second floor I'm sure we are fine."
SCOTT HALL: "Hey Chico, we aren't on the second floor, we are a good 10 stories high."
The group all looks around at each other and then out the window where they see Mr. Law's broken body splayed out on the concrete, a pool of crimson red surrounding his body.
HOLLYWOOD HOGAN: "We better get out of here dudes."
JOEY STYLES "Well Ladies and Gentlemen I am not sure what we just witnessed but we will try and get you some confirmation as soon as we can. In the meantime, welcome to San Antonio for another edition of Monday Night Madness and with me tonight as he has been the last two weeks "King of the Mid Carders" Mark Flynn, in what has become his traditional set-up of a full-body cast and, am I right in saying, dialysis machine?"
MARK FLYNN “Yes, indeed, Joseph. I am doomed to never walk again. Thanks for introducing me, instead of with my achievements in the ring, with my non-functioning legs and my failing kidneys. And let me say, on a program where Kevin Nash just murdered an American Citizen via defenestration on national television, I feel confident saying that tonight will be remembered as the night Kevin Nash murdered an American citizen via defenestration on national television.”
JOEY STYLES “Interesting prediction, Flynn. Anything else? Anything about Gilmour Classic’s wedding to Maria Brink to occur later this evening?”
MARK FLYNN “If the FBI doesn’t storm the wedding, quietly massacre everyone in this building and burn the arena to the ground, I will be severely disappointed. For the record, though, I don’t think I’ll be disappointed.”
| Ace of Spades by Motorhead plays |
Sterling comes out in a silk robe looking disgusted with all the fans he sees. he always has the ref open up the ropes for him. He throws off his robe in the middle of the ring and makes a few quick poses before usually insulting the ring side fans.
| Los Angeles is Burning by Bad Religion plays |
Arryn Connolly steps out onto the entrance way, pushing hair out of her face before taking off towards the ring and sliding in under the ropes once she gets there.
Sterling Steal
- vs -
Arryn Connolly
Standard One Fall |
JOEY STYLES “Our opening match for the evening, Arryn Connolly vs Sterling Steal… Flynn, your thoughts?”
MARK FLYNN “Arryn Connolly’s big debut and I for one am excited. Were she going against half the roster this week, I’d guarantee she’d walk away with the victory. But, Sterling Steal is coming off an impressive victory last week. This will be a battle, from beginning to end, that will leave one of these superstars ruined. Like my divorce.”
Connolly walks over to Steal and just stares at her opponent. Sterling looks her up and down before spitting at her! She looks at him with disgust! The bell sounds and the two lock up! Not the best idea for Connolly to lock up with Steal but she did it anyway and is quickly overpowered by the larger man! He whips her into the corner with a powerful thud and falls to the mat! Sterling walks around flipping off the booing crowd before turning back to Connolly giving her the boot treatment.
MARK FLYNN “I don’t want to sound like a sexist but Connolly’s genetically smaller brain probably made think her naturally inferior strength could overpower a creature that over millions of years has evolved to be physically superior to its opposite in every way.”
JOEY STYLES “Flynn, literally no part of that wasn’t sexist. And every part of that was disgusting.”
MARK FLYNN “Just my like ex-wife.”
She rolls out of the ring to regain her senses and the ref starts the count.
1
2
3
4
……….Sterling gets inpatient and leaps from the ring trying a diving tackle on the smaller woman who moves out of the way and smashes into the barricade! Sterling rushes Connolly as she hits him with a Roundhouse kick to the face. He reels back as Arryn hits him with a boot to the stomach followed by an aggressive knee to the face. Connolly has recovered and is now on the attack, she’s throwing knees and elbows to Sterling’s face, he is bleeding, but not quitting. Connolly hits him with another boot to the face, followed by a quick duck and knee kick. He falls against the turnbuckle. She runs up and climbs the ropes to hit him with a moonsault.
As she flies down at him Sterling catches her midair and drops her on the concrete with a solid Fireman’s carry slam. He picks her up and throws her body in the ring before sliding in himself. With both of them in the ring he picks her up and hits her with a solid Backbreaker. She is now reeling in pain, and he starts dropping boots on the body of Arryn Conolly. She looks to be almost done, but as he goes to lay another boot to the limpness of his opponent she throws a quick punch up to his stomach, he recovers quickly, and hits her with a double leg drop.
Both combatants are up at this point and it could be anyone’s game.
Or is it?
Steal makes a move towards Connolly who ducks a clothesline and then....
SCORCHED EARTH!!! (Crucifix Driver)
JOEY STYLES “Wow, what a maneuver! That finish came out of nowhere!”
MARK FLYNN “Like the 1997 Nissan Stanza that ran over my wife in the Arizona desert before the judge could rule officially on the division of assets in our divorce.”
JOEY STYLES “…Do you have a thing to get off your chest, Flynn?”
MARK FLYNN “Not until the statute of limitations runs out on vehicular manslaughter.”
The pin...
1...
2...
3!!
As Madness goes on, it's dark for about a minute before pyros go off and Trophies by Drake plays. Joey Hawkins makes his way to the ring at a slow pace. Crowd boos as he makes his way there. Once he gets in the ring he picks up a mic and starts to speak
JOEY HAWKINS: "As you all know, I made my debut last time on Madness."
The crowd goes silent.
JOEY HAWKINS:: "Jerry Daniels happened to pin me to win. I'm not very satisfied about that."
The crowd boos slightly.
JOEY HAWKINS: "That lucky bastard thought he picked up a good win, but he made a mistake about crossing paths with me, Joey Hawkins. I'm letting Daniels know that I'm coming for him and he should be scared."
The crowd boos.
JOEY HAWKINS:: ''Me and Daniels, one on one."
Crowd claps and boos as Hawkins drops the mic and leaves the ring.
| County Boy Can Survive by Hank Williams Jr plays |
Waylon comes out and takes some Beechnut tobacco and puts a dip in points at his opponent then wipes his hands on his overalls and spits the tobacco all down the ramp.
| Trapped In Your Lies by Godhead |
Trapped in your Lies, blares through the arena. Mack makes his way through the entrance curtain at the top of the stage. He stops at the top, taking in the fans reaction, and begins making his way down the ramp. He slides into the ring on his chest jumping up to his feet and climbing the nearest turnbuckle, throwing his arms out in a cross. He hops down waiting for the bell to sound.
Waylon
- vs -
Mack "The Savior" Williams
Standard One Fall |
JOEY STYLES “Second match of the night! Waylon against Mack ‘The Savior’ Williams. Flynn, go.”
MARK FLYNN “Waylon, going into his second match on Madness, undefeated after an impressive victory last week. Mack Williams, making his debut as a savior. Me, doomed to slowly lose mobility in my face and mouth due to this body cast until I eventually reach a vegetative state. Anything could happen, except me regaining the ability to walk.”
Waylon and Mack lock up, with Waylon quickly overpowering The Savior. He lifts The Savior up and drops Williams with a solid back breaker. Waylon begins to spit dip in the face of Mack, before stomping his boot all over the fallen man’s face. Mack is looking in bad shape here, but Waylon doesn’t seem to care, he keeps dropping boots like it was Vietnam and his boots were napalm. Yeah, that bad.
Mack tries to get up and fight back, but before he can Waylon whips him into the ropes and on the rebound hits Mack with a spear, taking both men to the ground. Waylon starts throwing punches to The Savior’s face.
1...
2...
3...
4...
5...
6...
7...
8...
9...
10..
Mack covers his faces and stops the 11th punch from landing before he shoves Waylon off of him and tries to kick the taller man, but Waylon catches the kick and delivers a solid uppercut straight to the genitals of Mack who grips his twig and berries in pain. The Hillbilly Deluxe is up and grabs Williams’ face bringing it down to meet his knee for a solid nose buster. Mack is not doing so well at this point, but Waylon does not stop with the knees to the face.
JOEY STYLES “So far, it seems like Waylon’s undefeated streak is in no danger.”
MARK FLYNN “Perhaps Mack’s strategy is to weaken Waylon’s knees with his face until Waylon has to go in for reconstructive surgery in his late 40s, which I’m certain his medical insurance as an XWF employee, will not be covered. Mack may be playing the long game, but I have to question the effectiveness of this game plan in the short term.”
Mack grabs Waylon’s knee as it comes to meet his face one more time, and send the hillbilly to the mat, before picking him up by his hair and whipping him into the rope. As Waylon rebounds he hits Mack with a running clothesline from Hell, sending the Savior to the mat, hard. Waylon counters with an atomic knee drop right on the sternum of his downed foe. Waylon gets to his feet once more and hits him with a leg drop.
He covers, and locks the leg for a pin.
1...
2...
KICKOUT!!!
Waylon grabs Mack by the head, yanks him to his feet and drops him immediately with a piledriver. Mack's neck hit's the mat awkwardly but Waylon doesn't care.
MARK FLYNN “Some would call that a botch, but it’s hard for a guy to kick out after having his neck broken. Bravo, Waylon.”
He goes for the pin anyway.
1...
2...
3!!!
The match has just been completed, the wrestlers are still in the ring, suddenly the lights go out, and then words come on the titan tron.
The Master of Minds
Is
Coming
The words disappear, and then the lights come back on, and the winning wrestler of the first match is unconscious in the ring. He has a t-shirt draped over him.
The T-Shirt says:
I WILL
MASTER
YOUR
MIND
The camera continues to focus on the mystery man as Madness goes to commercial.
JOEY STYLES: "Ladies and gentlemen, it's now time to tie the knot between Gilmour Classic and Maria Brink!"
The ring has been remade to resemble a wedding ceremony. The wrestling ring, to include ropes, mat, apron, and ring post, is completely white. In the center of the ring there is an altar with a demonic priest inside waiting. Why a demonic priest? Gilmour logic.
There are eight chairs set up in front of the altar that contain all but one of the event's spectators. The spectators are, from left to right:
Swagmire Swaggins
Scorpio
Tommy Gunn
Shane
Archie Lawson
Joey Hawkins
John Black and friends
Off in the corner is The Crimson Dong with a keyboard. He'll be providing music for the ceremony.
Ozymandias appears on the screen.
OZYMANDIAS: "Ladies and Gentlemen it is my honor and privilege to present to you tonight's special guest minister. He hails all the way from the state of Massachusetts, he is XWF Legend, the one, the only....BARNEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!"
Barney Green dressed in a Skoal T-shirt, jeans and birkenstock's waddles his rotund self down to the ring and takes his place in the made up altar area. Of course has a cup in his hand which he uses to spit his dip into, repeatedly.
With everyone in place, The Crimson Dong goes to work on the piano. He starts off on the right track playing something you'd typically expect at a wedding, but then it turns into him poking randoms keys with his dong. That's when Morbid Angel walks out wearing a tiny dress that's meant to be worn by a 8 year old. It looks like a weird mini skirt on him. Angel stumbles down the aisle sprinkling rose petals on the floor. Once Morbid enters the ring, he takes a seat next to John Black.
Next to come out is the bride. It's a bit unusual that she would come out first,, but then again it's a Gilmour wedding. Maria Brink gets dragged down the aisle by Owen Octavious Carter. She's wearing a full body, leather fetish suit with a leash and collar. She's also crying her eyes out, obviously because this is a very special day for her. Once they get Maria inside of the ring, they attach her leash to the altar so that she cannot escape.
Gilmour Classic is set to come out next.
But wait...
THE LIGHTS GO OUT! JESUS.
We sit in the dark for a couple of seconds wondering what the fuck we're gonna see when they come back on.
That's when "Whore" by In This Moment begins to play. A spotlight shines on the rafters and we see Gilmour Classic! Holy shit, what's he doing all the way up there? We get a closer look at the devil's favorite demon and we see that he's not alone. With him is HEAD OF GILMOUR'S MOTHER! She's back for her son's big day!
We begin to wonder how the hell GC plans on getting down from there or why he's up there to begin with.
Gilmour Classic attaches something around his body. He then swoops down from the top of the rafters on a zip line! He glides all the way down to the ring with HOGM sitting on his shoulder. What an entrance!
But wait! The zip line couldn't hold GC's weight and it SNAPS before he makes it all the way down! He still had a good 20 feet to go before it snapped like that. GC flies off of the zip line and crashes into the altar, breaking it in half! My God!
HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
Gilmour Classic is down after that botched entrance. Either someone rigged that line to break or we're using cheap equipment here. Even Maria Brink looks concerned as GC isn't moving at all. The medics are on scene and are checking up on GC. It doesn't look good, folks.
While they check on GC, Crimson Dong plays some dub step in order to lighten the mood.
Off in the seats Tommy Gunn starts harassing SwagMire, because that's what Tommy Gunn does. Archie Lawson is trying and failing to keep the peace among them while "Shane
" pulls out Asparagus from his pocket and starts eating them one at a time.
Eventually the medics are able to get Gilmour Classic up and to the altar so the wedding can begin.
BARNEY GREEN: "Ladies and Gentlemen, we are gathered here to witness the union of these two blessed souls in holy matrimony. If anyone knows why these two should not be joined speak now or forever hold their...hold on a second."
Barney brings the dip cup up to his mouth where he spits out about an ounce worth of dip.
BARNEY GREEN: "Peace."
Everyone looks around expecting someone, probably Peter Gilmour to say something but no one does.
GILMOUR CLASSIC: "Could you speed it up Padre? I got a match."
BARNEY GREEN: "Very well. Do you Kevin...ugh...I mean, Gilmour Classic take Maria Brink to be your wife."
GILMOUR CLASSIC: "Suck my shit!!"
BARNEY GREEN: "Is that a yes?"
GILMOUR CLASSIC: "Did I digress? Of course it's a yes."
BARNEY GREEN: "And do you Maria Brink take Gilmour Classic to be your husband?"
The lights begin to flicker right before Maria is about to say yes.
JOEY STYLES: "What is going on? Did someone forget to pay the electric bill?"
Everyone in the ring looks around confused as to what is going on. Gilmour Classic then looks back at the minister and motions with his hand to speed things up.
BARNEY GREEN: "Ms. Brink? We're waiting for an answer. Do you take this man to be your lawlfully wedding husband?"
MARIA BRINK: "I.. I...."
Suddenly, the lights go out in the arena. The fans are going nuts as flashbulbs pop from their cameras trying to see if anything is going on in the ring. We then see the X-Tron light up and we see a man with wet black hair and his head down on the screen. It's PETER GILMOUR! THE REAL PETER GILMOUR! A spotlight then hits the ring as we see Maria Brink clapping for him and having a giant smile on her face. Gilmour Classic and his manager Owen are not too happy. Peter lifts his head as he begins to speak.
Peter: Oh how rude of me. I'm so sorry to interrupt this lovely "wedding" we got here . I'm sorry father but this wedding is not going to continue because I OBJECT! You see ladies and gentlemen, the man standing in front of you had his lover, er manager admit to the world in a promo days before the wedding that his client is none other than KEVIN STEEN! This was all his doing. He drugged Kevin just like he did to the lovely lady in that smoking hot wedding dress. HI MARIA!
Maria smiles and blushes at the site of the real Peter Gilmour.
Peter: Oh, don't be shocked to here this you fake bitch but Owen over their spilled the beans and made Maria sign a fake letter to me to come down to Madness tonight. I was already aware of the whole thing. I made her write that letter. Oh sorry Owen, I trumped your little plan. You see, I knew all along about this little fake wedding. I knew you only did this so you can try to piss me off even more. But guess what motherfucker, I ONE UPPED YOU! This wedding is not happening! You wanna know why you fake bitch?
Gilmour Classic goes up to the ropes and screams at Peter to come down to the ring. All we see is Peter laughing wickedly as the screen then goes to grey static and then the tron shuts off. The lights are still out except for the spotlight. Gilmour Classic is irate and goes over to Owen screaming, "Why did you do this?" as Owen tries to reason with him. All the while, Maria has a huge smile on her face. Does she have something to do with what Peter just said? Who knows but suddenly, the X-tron blows up as sparks come out from each side of it. What the hell is going on? We then hear some weird music coming from the PA system. [/i]
JOEY STYLES: "Well would you look at that? Peter Gilmour visited the plastic surgeon yet again."
JOEY STYLES: "The Hollywood Bad Boy is back! How wonderful."
Gilmour Classic and Owen look like they've seen a ghost! Maria Brink is smiling from ear to ear. She knows thisis the REAL Peter Gilmour not that fat fuck in the ring. The fans cant believe it as they snap pictures of this historic moment. Peter smiles wickedly as him as he walks towards the ring. Peter gets into the ring and has a microphone. This should be good!
Peter: DID YOU MISSS MEEEEEE?
The fans are going crazy as they chant GILMOUR! GILMOUR!
Peter: Oh, so you thought that TRUE EVIL was going to come out? You thought I'd come out here and have a light come through my hand huh? You must be the stupidest son of a bitch I ever.. NO! YOU ARE THE MOST IDIOTIC SON OF A BITCH I'VE EVER MET! You know something.. "Gilly" you think you won these fans over? You really think they're going to buy into the whole EAT MY SHIT stuff? These same people were chanting SUCK MY DICK long before you ever came here!
On cue, SUCK MY DICK chants start throughout the arena.
Peter: "You think that you can just come out here drug a real wrestler like Kevin "Fucking" Steen, a personal friend of mine, make him think he's my former self, have this idiot who looks like Vincent Price's adopted son warp his mind and give him all of my catchphrases, all my moves. And you think that you're better than me? You both make me sick. You thought it was funny to mock who I am, who I'm friends with and mock my style. Gimmick infringement you! You are the biggest pile of dog shit I've ever seen and believe me I've seen people who thought they were the best, leave because they couldn't hang with me. You remember I guy who's name rhymes with Christian Slater right? Yeah I took care of his two friends back in 2012 and shortly after he took his ball and went to some shithole bingo promotion where another prick runs the show. But as you would say.. I digress! Listen here you insignificant piece of shit, you will not mock me any longer. I will not let you disgrace these people with your bullshit any longer. You want to fight? Let's fight! June the 2nd.. Right here on Madness!"
The fans start going crazy hearing that the Gilmours are going to finally square off on Monday Night Madness.
[color=red] Peter: "You and me will settle this and we will see who the real Peter Gilmour is. Oh but it wont be a match with some lame stips that a shithead GM like Ozymandias or Gio Ferrari will put me in. I don't pander to them and I don't listen to authority. I do what I want, when I want to whomever I want. I am the best wrestler in the XWF and everybody will see that come June the 2nd! And on June the 2nd, we will go toe to toe. We will bleed, we will sweat and we will pay the price as a great man once said. June the 2nd, we will settle this. You want to prove to the world that you are "TOO EVIL"? Prove it to me.. HELL.. IN A CELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
JOEY STYLES: "What an announcement! June the 2nd we will finally see the battle of the Gilmours! Peter Gilmour vs Gilmour Classic."
Gilmour Classic goes to talk with Owen as it appears he is trying to give Gilmour Classic some advice but G.C wants none of it. Instead he turns towards the real Peter Gilmour and nods his head. Peter smiles wickedly. He goes to leave the ring, but comes back in.
Peter throws the mic at Gilmour Clasic and goes to leave. But Gilmour Classic attacks him Peter Gilmour. He stomps on Peter as Maria and Owen look on. Gilmour Classic picks Peter up looking for his finisher, but Peter blocks it and kicks Gilmour Classic in the balls. He then locks in him position and hits the ENDGAME (Package Piledriver) The fans are going ape shit right now! Peter looks at Gilmour Classic with hatred in his eyes. He then begins to laugh wickedly. He then gets up as we see Owen grab Maria from behind and try to use her as a shield. Bad move there Owen as Maria stomps him with her heel and then kicks Owen right in the balls. Maria rips off her veil and screams at Owen and Gilmour Classic.
Just then the arena shakes...
OH
MY
GOD!!!!!!
JOEY STYLES: "OH MY GOD!!! It's P.T "Fatback" Filmour!!!"
Fatback charges down the ramp. Peter Gilmour looks up in horror as the behemoth of a man comes running at him. But just as he closes in Gilmour Classic grabs Peter by the neck and yanks him down, hitting him with the GIlmour Cutter!!! Peter Gilmour is out cold.
Fatback is still running down the ramp, keep in mind it takes a while for fat men to traverse short distances.
Out of nowhere Ezekiel's AIDS aka Billy Zane comes flying out of the crowd and jumps onto the back of Fatback!! AID's takes a bite out of Fatback's neck and blood starts squirting out.
JOEY STYLES: "Holy Shit! Fatback just got AIDS!!! That poor poor man."
Fatback shrugs Billy Zane off and as he falls to the ground Fatback punts him 100 yards into the crowd.
Fatback runs up to Gilmour Classic and sends him flying backwards with a massive belly bump. Gilmour Classic hits the metal barrier and is knocked out cold.
Fatback makes it to the altar, he hunches over to catch his breath. Maria looks at the man and is immediately repulsed by what she sees. A minute or so later Fatback can finally breath again.
FATBACK: "Ok Barney, let's take this thing home."
BARNEY GREEN: "What?"
FATBACK: "You heard me. Let's finish this up."
BARNEY GREEN: "Ok if you say so. Ms. Brink do you take this man P.T "Fatback" Filmour to be your husband?"
MARIA: "Absolutely not."
FATBACK: "Come on Maria. I can make you so happy. I know I can. I am all the best parts of Peter but without any of the other bullshit. The random temper flare ups, the sexual harassment lawsuits. None of it. Just you and me and total bliss. I promise you, you won't regret it."
MARIA: "I don't know."
FATBACK: "Please Maria. Make me the happiest Fatback in all the world."
MARIA: "Ok. I do."
FATBACK: "YES!!!! Imma get up in ya!!!"
MARIA BRINK: "What?"
Fatback reaches in, he grabs Maria by the back of the neck and kisses her on the lips, he really plants on one her, it lasts a few seconds and then all of the sudden...
Fatback is enveloped by Maria Brink...and suddenly the slender blonde lead singer of In This Moment is replaced by....
Suddenly the cheers turn to boos and one pissed off fan throws a show...who throws a shoe anyway? The show hits Maria "Fatback" Brink in the face busting open her lip.
JOEY STYLES: "This is absolutely ridiculous. Fatback just got up in Maria Brink and now not only is she a massive beast but she has AIDS to boot."
Gilmour Classic wakes up from his little nap and sees the fat Maria standing there and just says fuck it and takes off but not before yelling to the crowd...
GILMOUR CLASSIC: "EAT MY SHIT!!"
Peter Gilmour rolls over having finally woken up from receiving the Gilmour Cutter. His face is a bit busted up from his battle with Gilmour Classic. He is bleeding pretty heavily from the mouth and nose. He slowly crawls into the ring and Maria "Fatback" Brink helps him to his feet. Maria turns to Peter and looks into his eyes. They stare each other down and then... THEY KISS! And I don't mean a peck and the cheek. They kiss so passionately that it would make any other kiss look normal. Despite the blood being all over their mouths and the lower half of their face. They grab each other and just go at it! The fans are eating this up. Somehow Barney Green is still in the ring. Why we have no idea. Peter and Maria see this and Peter turns to the Barney.
Peter: I think you and these people wanted to know her answer right padre?
Barney looks at Peter like "Are you serious?" but then Barney realizes that he hates Peter so he smiles semi wickedly and nods his head as the fans cheer. Maria then takes the microphone from Peter, looks into his big brown eyes and says... [/i]
MARIA "FATBACK" BRINK: I DO!
JOEY STYLES: "Well, we were going to have a wedding and boy did we get one. Maria "FATBACK" Brink did marry Peter Gilmour, but it was the Hollywood Bad Boy version. What a night and we still have two matches, including the Universal Title Match."
| "Gilmour" by In This Moment plays |
The lights in the arena dim, then go to full black. We then hear the eerie sounds of a bell being tolled and then an explosion of fire emitting from the entrance ramp. The beginning of Gilmour by IN THIS MOMENT begins as a white beam of light comes from the top of the arena and shines on the middle of the ramp. We then see a hand go into the light as a man kneels in front of the light. It is Gilmour Classic! The music picks up as Gilly gets up and screams to the heavens as he and his new valet Jennifer Johnson come down to the ring. They get into the ring and Gilly goes to the nearest turnbuckle and puts out his hand as the same beam of light comes down into his hand as he gives us a very scary look into the camera. He then laughs wickedly then screams to the heavens again as the lights come back on and he awaits his next opponent.
Frodo walks down to the ring accompanied by his two children Joseph-Gordon and Katie.
| "O Fortuna!" by Nevergreen plays |
The lights go out and stay out for several seconds. The darkness is finally cut as the X-Tron explodes into flames. From the very top of it, the flames travel out on both sides until they surround the tron. From there, flames explode from the ramp then travel down both sides of the ramp. The flames reach the bottom of the ramp and all four corners of the ring explode with more firey flamages igniting the steel lighting structure above the ring into a kind of ring of fire. With the illusion that the entire arena is on fire, O Fortuna hits. The flames continue to burn as Sebastian Duke finally emerges. Not from backstage, but from beneath, as if he's coming from the depths of hell. Once Duke reaches the stage, he slowly makes his way to the ring, the flames raising and lowering to the beat of the drums in O Fortuna.
Gilmour Classic
- vs -
Frodo Smackins
- vs -
Sebastian Duke
Triple Threat - Xtreme Rules |
JOEY STYLES: “Big triple threat match tonight. Three incredible competitors ready to go head-to-head-to-head tonight. Flynn.”
MARK FLYNN “Gilmour classic riding a huge winning streak on Madness, Frodo Smackins coming off a dynamite performance against Tommy Gunn last week putting it all on the line, and of course XWF Leg-… Is that a UPS guy?”
A messenger in a UPS outfit makes his way to the ring, he sees Sebastian Duke standing waiting for the bell, as such he hesitantly makes his way to Duke, unable to take his eyes off of Duke's one visible eye. Slowly, the UPS guy hands The King of Darkness the package.
Duke takes it slowly then opens it to find a pair of prosthetic testicles with a note saying,
"Now you can be a real boy."
The UPS man then holds out his clipboard for Duke to sign. In anger, Duke grabs the pen and drives it into the eye of the UPS man. Then, Duke grabs him by the throat and strangled him until his body went limp.
MARK FLYNN “Meh, the second murder of the night is never quite as impressive. Maybe throw the guy out a ten-story window and also be Kevin Nash, Duke.”
The match starts of quick. Gilmour Classic goes right after Sebastian Duke but before he can make contact with him Frodo gets in there and takes out Gilmour Classic at the knees. Duke sees the opening and almost takes Classic’s head off with a SOUL SHOT!!
JOEY STYLES: “Wow a Soul Shot to open up the match. Sebastian Duke is a man on a mission tonight. This is not the Sebastian Duke we are used to seeing.”
MARK FLYNN “I don’t know who you’re used to seeing, Styles, but Duke has held multiple titles in the XWF. It’d be foolish to see anything but ruthless destruction when Sebastian Duke is in the ring.”
Frodo looks up, surprised at what just happened. Duke gives him a boot to the face and then leans down, picks up Gilmour Classic and throws him into the corner which he follows up with another clothesline that leaves Gilmour Classic in a seated position, his head resting against the second turnbuckle.
Duke backs up a few steps and then charges in, hitting Classic with a knee to the face. He backs away again and prepares to do it all over again but Frodo leaps off the top rope like a frog jumping from a lilly pad and takes Duke down with a flying cross body block. The King of Darkness hits the mat but he doesn’t stay down for long. In fact, he is the first of the two to get up. He grabs Frodo, and tosses him right into the corner like he was a sack of potatoes. Except this sack of potatoes hit’s Gilmour Classic right in the face as he was starting to come out of his dazed state.
Duke slowly and methodically walks over to his two fallen opponents. He sees that neither of them are going be getting up in the near future and instead opts to climb out of the ring and search under the ring apron from a weapon, or two.
The first thing Duke pulls out is a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire, the second is a metal trash can. Duke tosses the bat into the trash can and then tosses both of them into the ring. As he does so G.C tosses Frodo off and gets to his feet. He picks up the trash can and dumps out the bat. As Duke slides into the ring and gets to his feet he is met with a trash can to the dome. The first shot stops Duke dead in his tracks. The second drops him to one knee and the third sends him to the mat.
Gilmour falls on top of Duke for the cover…
1…
2…
KICKOUT by Duke.
Gilmour Classic looks down at Duke and yells something inaudible to him.
MARK FLYNN “The typical razor sharp wit from Peter Gilmour, I’m sure.”
CRACK!!!
Out of nowhere Frodo cracks Gilmour classic over the head with the barbed wire covered bat. The barbed wire gets stuck in Gilmour’s hair and his body goes limp and lands on top of Duke. Frodo jumps ontop of the two men, his feet not even touching the floor and the ref gets down to make the count.
1…
2…
Kick out!!
JOEY STYLES: “What strength by The King of Darkness. He manages to kick out of a pin by Frodo and inadvertently Gilmour Classic.”
Duke gets to his feet at roughly the same time as his two opponents. The three men look at each other trying to figure out who wants to make the first move. The unarmed Mexican Standoff lasts only a few seconds before Gilmour Classic’s ADD kicks in and he hits Frodo with a Russian leg sweep and then follows that up with a leg drop.
MARK FLYNN “Gilmour, using his supernatural power, learns that Frodo has touched Jell-O more recently and subsequently finds approaching him irresistible. At this point, if Duke wants some attention, he’ll have to roll himself in a pile of Silly Putty and wait for Gilmour to timidly begin gnawing it off his arm.”
Sebastian Duke moves in to strike Gilmour but Gilmour counters and delivers a move of his own, a DDT that catches Duke by surprise. Gilmour now goes on the offensive. He picks up the barbed wire bat and starts laying into Duke with it. A few shots to the chest and a few shots to the legs are capped out with a violent shot to the head…
But Duke rolls out of the way. Somehow Duke managed move out of the way at the last possible second, he takes Gilmour down with a to kick to the left knee that brings Gilmour down to one knee and then a kick to the face sends Gilmour falling backwards. Frodo jumps in out of nowhere like Simba pouncing on his next meal.
JOEY STYLES: “That Frodo is a feisty fucker.”
MARK FLYNN “Frodo has been chokeslammed off the top rope through a table and gotten a shoulder up at two. Feisty doesn’t even begin to describe it, this fucking piece of shit is a survivor.”
Frodo starts landing haymakers onto Gilmour. All the while Duke is getting back to his feet. He picks up the bent up trash can and places it in the center of the ring. With Frodo still throwing punches onto Gilmour, Duke grabs Frodo by the back of the head and pulls him off. He then kicks Frodo in the mid section, spins him around….
CHOKESLAM!!!
CRUNCH!!!
Duke flattens both Frodo and the trash with the clothesline.
Duke with the cover…
1…
2…
Broken up!!!
Gilmour Classic was able to get a hold of Duke and pull him off of Frodo, breaking up the pin attempt. Gilmour Classic then rolls out of the ring and falls out of the ring. Duke rolls out after him. Gilmour gets to one knee as Duke gets to his feet. He picks up Gilmour and tosses him into the announcers table. Gilmour’s back slams into the table and he screams out in pain as his back contorts in the wrong direction. Duke moves in for another move but Gilmour kicks Duke in the groin which sends Duke right down to his knees which seems to be the perfect opening for Frodo who leaps off the ropes and hits Gilmour with a flying punch. However it’s not without a cost as Frodo succeeds in cracking Gilmour but he also lands on the announcers table with a thud and the bounces off and lands on the floor.
JOEY STYLES: “A ballsy move by Frodo there.”
Gilmour is the first to react, he grabs Duke by the neck and yanks him to his feet. He quickly maneuvers Duke into the right position and with a suplex takes out both The King of Darkness as the announcers table. Gilmour falls on top of Duke and makes the cover...
1...
2...
BROKEN UP!!!
Frodo breaks up the pin by cracking Gilmour Classic over the head with a crowbar. Classic immediately reaches back to his head and pulls his hand away to reveal it's covered in blood. Classic turns around and is met with a Shinning Wizard from the rape master himself Frodo.
Frodo goes for a cover but before he can ever get a one count Duke picks up Frodo by the neck, flips him upside down and plants him with his patented finisher DARKNESS FALLS!!!
The cover...
1...
2...
3!!
JOEY STYLES: “Sebastian Duke wins, stealing the victory from Frodo! What an opportunistic victory!”
MARK FLYNN “That’s what made Duke an XWF Legend. The people that take their opportunities where they can get them are etched in history as kings. Frodo had another stellar performance but until he learns to watch out for things like that…”
Frodo walked over to the Announcer's table, and picked up a microphone. He walks back to the ring, and addresses the federation, as only The King of Dwarves can.
"Hey, Tommy Wish. Yeah, listen up you toe sucking shit ball, you spent the night in the room of The Princess of Dwarves, and yet you didn't call her yet?! Well, let me tell you something, boy. You've got 3 days to take her on a proper date or I will come for you, hard. I warned you once, you saw what I did to Gilmour, imagine I do that to you, but harder with no lube. So, call her or elee."
Frodo drops the mic and walks over to his entourage before they stroll to the back.
From the back steps the self professed returning owner of the XWF, Shane Anonistrator, who has assured everyone on a number of occasions that he IS indeed Shane
under that mask. "Shane" raises the microphone to his mask...
SHANE?:
"I regret to inform you all that Mr. Law, the official lawyer of the XWF was pronounced dead at Sacred Heart Hospital. The cause was Defenestration. The culprits were the New World Order. Specifically, one, Kevin Nash. It is because of this that effectively immediately I am hereby banning all 5 members of the New World Order from the XWF Four Life. You like that? You see what I did there?"
The fans erupt in cheers as they have longed for a day when the nWo was no more. A "Quote Shane Unquote... Quote Shane Unquote" chant breaks out among the fans as "Shane" high steps around in a circle while tooting an imaginary horn. After a few seconds he stops and puts his hand up like he remembered something important.
SHANE?:
"There's more! In addition to the banning of the nWo, the local S.A.P.D are arresting Kevin Nash for the murder of Mr. Law as well as arresting the other 4 members of the New World Order as accessories. You will not be seeing any of them in the XWF ever again. I can promise you that!"
"As a result of this, tonight's main event has been changed ever so slightly. Due to Hulk Hogan's imminent arrest he has been removed from the match and it will now stand as a Fatal Four Way, the winner receiving the newly returning XWF Universal Championship!"
"Shane" throws the microphone down and kicks it before he heads out of sight.
JOEY STYLES: "Well folks, this is the moment we have been waiting for since the second Hogan destroyed the crown and took the new title for himself. Someone will be walking out of this match as the new XWF Universal Champion."
MARK FLYNN “The air is electric, the man who wins this match will etch himself in the XWF record books forever. This is a night where, again, Kevin Nash murdered an American citizen via defenestration and yet, still, this is a fairly important part of tonight’s evening.”
Suddenly Madness General Manager Ozymandias appears on the screen.
OZYMANDIAS: "Ladies and Gentlemen there has been a slight change of plans. It appears that John Samuels has been called away for an emergency meeting on Capital Hill. As a result he will not be taking part in this match. Which means instead of a fatal four way we now have a triple threat. Good luck."
Ozymandias disappears from the screen just as...
The music hits and JP staggers out and takes his stance at the top of the ramp gazing around the arena as the chorus of his theme hits. He will then throw his arms into the air as pyro alternates from left to right and back again before making his way down to the ring. He slides in under the ropes and goes straight for the far turnbuckle and climbs to the second rope and raises his arms again for the crowd.
"The Heinrich Maneuver" by Interpol plays over the PA system and Kendall emerges from the back, stone faced yet emitting a form of silent confidence. She makes her way down to the ring, ignoring the fans and instead focusing all of her attention on the squared circle. She slides under the bottom rope and pushes herself back up to her feet before making her way to one of the corners and resting against the turnbuckles.
Silence falls. Regardless if people are screaming or not, their voices cease to accomplish sound. Then one by one the lights flicker and slowly fade out, until the entire arena is bathed in darkness. An amber hue soon begins to form in the middle of the entrance ramp. Dim at first and then glowing brighter and brighter until it's almost unbearable to look at. Momentarily, the sound of a crackle breaches the silence and Azrael suddenly appears. Seeming to step out, from within that burning phantom light. As he does both it's existence and the darkness, cease to exist. Sound returns and the fans are simply losing it; as Azrael smirks, casting his gaze around at the audience briefly before he takes off towards the ring. Leaping and sliding in through the bottom of the ropes, Azrael is quick to his feet. Bounding up with a grin, he then walks towards the turnbuckle, where he perches himself in a semi crouched position as he awaits his opponent.
JOEY STYLES: "And here we go!"
MAIN EVENT
Triple Title Unification Match
"Hollywood" Hogan© - Arrested
- vs -
Kendall Sawyer©
- vs -
Azrael Erebus©
- vs -
Jon Plex
- vs -
John Samuels - On Capital Hill
Standard One Fall
The winner of this match will claim the returning XWF UNIVERSAL CHAMPIONSHIP!
![[Image: AjYrcD9.png]](http://i.imgur.com/AjYrcD9.png) |
Azrael makes the first move going to lock up with Sawyer when suddenly the crowd erupts in boos. The three wrestlers turn their head in unison to the entry way where Hollywood Hogan is making his way to the ring holding the nWo World Title above his head. The other four members of the nWo come storming out of the back and heading towards the ring. Kevin Nash is the first to get into the ring, he grabs Plex by the neck and throws him out of the ring and into the waiting arms Scott Hall. Nash then stares down Azrael and Sawyer for a moment and then climbs back out of the ring to aid the rest of his comrades as they beat down Plex.
JOEY STYLES: "What an assault on Jon Plex! I guess this match has gone from triple-threat to one-on-one!"
MARK FLYNN “I’d be afraid for Jon Plex, one of those men is apparently a known murderer that was placed under arrest and is somehow here. Kevin Nash on the lam.”
Plex is getting an unholy beat down at the hands of the nWo as Hogan continues to make his way to the ring.
Suddenly the crowd pops as Luca Arzegotti and Theo Pryce come running out of the back, baseball bats in hand.
PING!!!
PING!!!
Scott Hall and Randy Savage's skulls were just volunteered for batting practice.
MARK FLYNN: "Well that's my que."
JOEY STYLES: "What? Where are you going?"
MARK FLYNN: "Battle, Joseph. Battle."
Using the remote control lever on his wheel chair Flynn backs out of his spot at the Announcers Table and books it towards the nWo. Hogan tries to get in his way but it doesn't matter as the cast on Flynn's left leg shoots off like a projectile that hits Hogan square in the chest. Hogan immediately grabs at the impacted area and starts gasping for air.
JOEY STYLES; "Sure why not. One more thing to add to this crazy night."
Flynn continues his march to battle, the wheel chair is pushing 10 maybe 15 miles per hour and he runs right into Dennis Rodman who to this point is the lone member of the nWo not on his back as Theo and Luca are beating the hell out of Kevin Nash with the bats. Jon Plex is unconscious or possibly dead laying in a pool of his own blood thanks to the nWo.
When Flynn reaches Rodman the Worm just looks at him, not sure what to do about a guy in a wheel chair.
MARK FLYNN: "YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME, DENNIS RODMAN?!? JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE A SEVEN TIME NBA REBOUNDING CHAMPION!"
Flynn stands up from his chair and immediately the casts and bandages start breaking off of him as if he were morphing right before our very eyes.
Flynn jumps at Rodman and using the cast on his left arm cracks Rodman in the face with his elbow. Rodman immediately screams out in pain.
MARK FLYNN: "TWO TIME ALL-NBA THIRD TEAM!"
Another elbow to the jaw from the cast which clearly has something in it.
MARK FLYNN: "STOP LIVING MY DREAMS!"
Rodman goes down and Flynn starts laying the boots to the Worm's face.
Suddenly out of the back comes a dozen and a half cops in full riot gear. They start hammering away at the nWo with their batons. Theo Pryce, Luca Arzegotti and Mark Flynn all back away allowing the cops to do their jobs. Flynn grabs Hogan who was still clutching at his chest a few feet from the ring and tosses him into the on going police beat down.
Back to the ring where now it's just a battle of champions.
Sawyer and Azrael lock eyes. Sawyer relinquishes the European Title, and Azrael the United States. That's the last time we'll ever see those championships again.
The bell rings and the match is off to a violent start with some back and forth punches. Each superstar has a handful of the other's hair as they exchanges lefts and rights. Eventually the punching becomes so out of control that they spill out of the ring! And they're still punching each other. They're edging near the crowd barricade now... and Sawyer throws herself into Azrael, tackling him off the barricade and into the first row of fans!
The referee is at a 6 count as Sawyer tosses Azrael back into ringside. Sawyer then perches on the barricade, and hits Azrael with a cross body.
Sawyer throws Azrael in the ring and hits him in the face with a round house before pinning him.
1...
2...
Kick out!
The cops are finally dragging the nWo away, each member hand cuffed as the trio of Arzegotti, Flynn and Pryce make their way over to the announcers table.
Sawyer lifts Azrael up and puts on a hammer lock. Azrael breaks free by elbowing Sawyer with his free arm, knocking her back. Azrael runs off the ropes and connects with an enzugiri. Azrael with the pin.
1...
2...
Kick out!!!
JOEY STYLES: "Care to explain what the hell just happened Mark?"
MARK FLYNN: "I would love to Joseph. As you know the last time I was here I tried to bring the whole system down on it's head, some real anarchy shit but every General Manager in this place ganged up to stop me, hell, even half the wrestlers decided it was their job to try and take me out. So have a few buddies to join up with is a necessary evil if I really want this whole anarchy thing to spread."
JOEY STYLES: "So why Theo and Luca?"
LUCA ARZEGOTTI: "Why you gotta say it like that Joey? What? We ain't good enough for Mark? Is that what you are saying Joey?"
THEO PRYCE: "Yeah is that what you are saying Joey?"
JOEY STYLES: "No not all. Just wondering how you two got connected with Mark here since your time here didn't overlap with his?"
Azrael sets Sawyer off into the ropes. He attempts a clothesline but she ducks. Sawyer hits the ropes again and hits Azrael in the center of the face with a flying knee. Pin by Sawyer.
1...
2...
And another kick out!!!
THEO PRYCE: "Mind if I take this one Mark?"
MARK FLYNN: "Be my guest."
THEO PRYCE: "Well Mark a couple weeks back, after Luca returned from the dead he and I went out and we got absolutely hammered. It was insane. I was doing drugs I didn't even know existed. Luca, don't even get me started on what that crazy fucker was doing. Anyway, we got to talking about this that and the other and we thought, hey, wouldn't if be fun if we decided to just get a couple of wild cards together to just run wild on the XWF. Not like the nWo, we aren't trying to take out the roster, more so the established order. And Luca, in all his drugged out glory threw out the name Mark Flynn. Luca's a student of history if you didn't know. I had no idea who this Flynn guy was so I did some digging, watched some old tape, listened to some old promos and damn it if Luca wasn't spot on. So I called up Mark, we got to rappen and that's how it happen."
JOEY STYLES: "Great story. Truly remarkable."
THEO PRYCE: "I sense a little sarcasm in you Joey."
JOEY STYLES: "Maybe only a little. So you fellas got a name or are you just The Three Amigos?"
THEO PRYCE: "You know what Joey that's actually fucking genius right there but yeah we got a name, and maybe if you are lucky we will share it with you."'
JOEY STYLES: "So now you are back full time as a wrestler? Does that mean I get my announces table back? No more sharing?"
MARK FLYNN: "That's right Joseph, just you and your lovely table from here on out."
JOEY STYLES: "Thank God...Wait a minute....what is this?"
A man in a black hoodie climbs out of the crowd, his head is down and the hood is covering his face so we have no idea who it is.
JOEY STYLES: "Is that Tommy Gunn? He's done this a few times the last few weeks and he is a part of the Heyman Alliance, he could be making his mark in this match."
Sawyer lifts Azrael to his feet and attempts to whip him into the corner but Azrael counters with an irish whip of his own, except this time he accidentally whips Sawyer into the ref knocking him out. Azrael freezes for a second pondering what just happened. Sawyer moves out of the corner and goes moves in to attack Azrael but she's stopped...dead in her tracks by the man in the hood.
Heyman is on the apron screaming, he doesn't wanting to get in the way of his chosen one winning the title.
The man grabs Sawyer by the throat with one hand, with the other hand he removes the hood...
It's not Tommy Gunn....
It's not Brock Lesnar....
It's not Vellore Brommer...
It's.....
Former X-Treme Champion......
STEVE DAVIDS!!!
Heyman is livid. David's is laughing, he looks at Sawyer and smiles...and then...
David's pushes Sawyer into Azrael catching him off guard and off balance...
JOEY STYLES: "What the hell?"
A kick to the mid section of Azrael and then...GAME OVER!!!(Praying Mantis Bomb)
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Azrael Erebus was just destroyed by Steve Davids!!!
Sawyer covers Erebus.
Davids walks over to the ref and drags him by the arm over to where Sawyer and Erebus are.
Davids climbs out of the ring and exchanges a handshake with Heyman who has the biggest shit eating grim the world has ever seen slapped across his face.
The ref makes the count...
1...
2...
KICKOUT!!!
JOEY STYLES: "I don't believe it!! Azrael kicked out, despite the outside interference from Davids!!! This is incredible. Heyman and Davids are both furious. Unbelievable! Incredible endurance on the part of Azrael!"
MARK FLYNN “And another embarrassing failure to add to the legacy of Steve Davids. Right on top of his wrestling ability and his never learning how to speak as a child.”
THEO PRYCE: "He did win the X-treme title once..."
LUCA ARZEGOTTI: "Twice."
THEO PRYCE: "Right you are, twice. But that means he lost it twice."
MARK FLYNN "Like I said, failure."
Heyman is screaming at the ref that it was a slow count. Davids is trying to climb back into the ring but the ref won't allow it.
Sawyer gets to her feet first and quickly takes advantage throwing Azrael into the corner and goes to work on him with some knife edge chops. She then attempts a running drop kick, but Azrael dives out of the way and Sawyer clashes feet first into the turnbuckle pad. That might have hurt her ankle some.
Azrael notices Sawyer holding her ankle and he works over it with some stomps. He then puts her in an ankle lock submission. That's not a move we see from Azrael but it's absolutely necessary given the situation.
Sawyer reaches for the ropes but can't make it. Instead she rolls through, rolling Azrael onto his butt. Sawyer then delivers a soccer ball kick to the back of Azrael, using her good leg. She sees that it's effective so she gives Azrael another... and another. Sawyer then drags Azrael up to his feet and gives him a DDT. Sawyer goes straight to the pin.
1...
2....
Kick out but close.
Sawyer gets back up and limps to the corner. She climbs up to the second rope and dives off, hitting Azrael with a clothesline. Sawyer gets Azrael onto his feet and throws him into the ropes. She fails to connect with a clothesline. Azrael continues running and bounces off the ropes again. Azrael knocks Sawyer back a couple of steps with a running uppercut. He follows up with a kick, but Sawyer catches his ankle and turns him into a rolling knee bar while screaming, "Abdicate!"
Azrael happened to land pretty close to the bottom rope though, and it doesn't take long before he's able to move into place to grab it.
Rope break
JOEY STYLES: "Incredible technical showing on behalf of both of these competitors tonight! If anyone less talented than Azrael had gotten trapped in that knee bar, it wouldn’t have mattered where they landed, this match would have been over."
Sawyer has Azrael back up now. She stings him with a chop before send him running into the ropes. Sawyer then positions herself near the ropes and gives Azrael a back body drop that sends him flying over the top rope and to the outside! Sawyer follows Azrael out of the ring by crashing into him with a suicide dive.
Sawyer takes Azrael and gives him an Irish whip into the side of the steel steps. With Azrael leaned against the steps, she goes for a yakuza kick, but Azrael rolls to the side and Sawyer ends up kicking the stairs instead. The counter from Azrael actually didn't cause her much pain, but Azraels follow up does when he jumps up and gives her a choke slam onto the steel steps! Azrael takes a knee next to the fallen Kendall Sawyer as the referee reaches 5.
Azrael slowly gets on the apron as the referee reaches an 8 count.
Sawyer must have heard the 8, because she pops up with a sense of urgency, reaches up, and pulls Azrael off the apron with a power bomb! Holy shit, the back of Azrael's head hit the mat.
The referee is on 9 and is about to count 10, but Sawyer dives in under the ropes and makes it just in time!
10!
Ding ding ding! Sawyer wins by count out!
Sawyer can't believe it, she just barely made it inside. She is the new Universal Champion! The audience doesn't seem to be happy with how it ended though.
| WINNER: And new Universal Champion, Kendall Sawyer |
JOEY STYLES: "XWF UNIVERSAL CHAMPION KENDALL SAWYER!"
MARK FLYNN “If that’s how you can win the title, there’s no reason not to.”
Sawyer is celebrating with the title as Azrael looks up at her in shock.
Suddenly... the X-Tron comes to life with the voice of our GM Ozymandias!
OZYMANDIAS: "Now hold on just a minute... This is not what I had in mind when I said we were going to crown a new Universal Champion. The most coveted title in XWF history will not be handed out because of a count out. Not tonight. Not ever. Kendall Sawyer, I should disqualify you from the match just for thinking that I would let you walk out of this arena with a count out victory. Don't worry, I'm not going to do that. Instead, we're gonna pretend like this never happened. Deal? Good. Now, RESTART THE MATCH! And this time, it's X-Treme Rules..."
JOEY STYLES: "X-TREME RULES! XWF UNIVERSAL CHAMPIONSHIP STILL UNDECIDED!"
MARK FLYNN “The X-Tron is connected to the loud speaker, Joseph. I can hear him just fine.”
Sawyer throws the belt down and kicks it out of the ring. She doesn't say anything but the look on her face tells us exactly how she feels about our GM reversing the decision. But then out of nowhere, Azrael blasts her with a SPEAR! And a pin!
Ding ding ding! Match is quickly restarted! The referee sprints over to make the delayed count.
1...
2...
KICKOUT! Shit that was close. The spears that hurt the worst are the ones that you don't see coming.
JOEY STYLES: "Azrael almost steals the title right back!"
MARK FLYNN “I take back what I said. Before that little stunt Sawyer pulled, this was a technical exhibition. Now this match is going to come down to who wants it more. And who’s more willing to throw away bullshit like honor and integrity.”
Azrael is working faster now since Sawyer is out of it. Maybe too fast. He gives Sawyer a bunch of punches in the corner, and then spins her into a vertebreaker! Azrael with another pin.
1...
2...
KICK OUT!
Azrael punches the mat as he snaps up to his feet. He picks up Sawyer and gives her the Stars Fall (Cruficix Powerbomb) followed by a pin!
JOEY STYLES: "THIS COULD BE IT! NEW UNIVER-"
MARK FLYNN “YOU ARE YELLING RIGHT IN MY EAR, JOSEPH! RIGHT IN MY EAR!”
1...
2...
3NOOOO! Sawyer kicked out of the finisher!!!
JOEY STYLES: "HOLY SHIT!"
MARK FLYNN “Azrael pulling out every stop he can. This is when it starts to come in, what do you have to do? What trick do you have to pull that your opponent didn’t study for to finish the job?”
Azrael is shocked. He picks up Sawyer again and gives her the Seeing Stars (RKO)!
JOEY STYLES: "SEEING STARS! Holy shit, we haven't seen Azrael use that move in a while!"
MARK FLYNN “THERE WE GO! JUST WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT! THE RE-DEBUT OF THE SEEING STARS!”
He pins Sawyer
1...
Sawyer was too close to the ropes during that pin attempt. Azrael needs to slow down or he's gonna make careless mistakes like that one. Azrael gets his shit together and positions Sawyer in the center of the ring. He goes for the Darkest Light (Cross Rhodes), but Sawyer blocks it and nails him with a roundhouse to the side of the head. She then gives him a swinging neck breaker!
They're both down now.
Sawyer slowly crawls over to cover Azrael.
1...
2...
Shoulder up.
Both superstars get up at the same time after resting on the mat. Azrael swings his arm out for a headlock, but Sawyer ducks and slaps him across the face. She then kicks Azrael and gives him the Seeing Stars! (RKO) Holy shit, she just hit Azrael with a finisher from his past.
JOEY STYLES: "OH MY GOD! SAWYER HITS AZRAEL WITH HIS OWN MOVE!"
MARK FLYNN “Just roll over… into the cover…”
She pins Azrael.
1...
2...
Kick out!
Immediately after the kick out, Sawyer mounts on Azrael and begins hitting him with elbow strikes. She reaches 5 strikes before we lose count of how many she hits Azrael with.
Sawyer pulls Azrael up and goes for the Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness (Killswitch/Whatever it's called this week), but Azrael pushes her off. Sawyer goes after Azrael again, but Azzy catches her with a power slam.
Azrael then puts Sawyer in the Gravitational Pull (Lion Tamer)
Sawyer manages to reach the bottom rope after a while but Azrael refuses to let go of the hold. The referee can yell and tug on Azrael all he wants, but he cannot DQ him due to the X-Treme rules of the match. Sawyer will have to improvise if she wants to be set free. She continues to crawl and eventually makes it under the ropes and out of the ring causing Azrael to lose his grip.
Sawyer is now free on the outside but she looks hurt. Azrael walks out of the ring and picks up a steel chair on the way over to where Sawyer is laying. Azrael walks up to Sawyer ready to swing but Sawyer kicks him in the kneecap. Sawyer then takes the chair from Azrael and smashes him over the head with it! Azrael falls down with a cut across his forehead now. Sawyer slowly rolls Azrael into the ring. Exhaustion is beginning to set in on both competitors.
Sawyer lays the chair down on the mat to use for the next move. Sawyer picks up Azrael and turns him around for a Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness (killswitch/whatever the fuck it is this month) but Azrael reverses it into a vertebreaker onto the steel chair! Both superstars down now, but eventually Azrael crawls over to drape his arm over Sawyer.
1...
2...
Foot on the rope!
Azrael positions Sawyer and the steel chair in the center of the ring and lifts her up for the Stars' Fall (Crucifix Powerbomb), but Sawyer shifts her weight out of it and nails him with a reverse DDT!
Sawyer with another pin attempt...
1...
2...
KICKOUT!!!!
JOEY STYLES: "OH MY GOD! SAWYER CAN’T BELIEVE IT! EREBUS WILL NOT QUIT!”
MARK FLYNN “Every move, every counter, these two seem to be pulling out. These two are masters of the ring. Whoever comes out of this match the champion has earned their place in the record books.”
Heyman yells something to Sawyer and then tosses a kendo stick into the ring. Sawyer bends down to pick it up. Erebus seems to have caught a second wind and quickly gets to his feet. Sawyer swings the kendo stick wildly sensing that Azrael is up but having no idea of exactly where he is. She swings again but this time Erebus catches it with both hands, yanks it from her and cracks her over the head with it...he pulls her in close....STARS FALL!!!!!!!!
Erebus with the cover...
1...
2...
3!!!!!!!!!!
| Winner and NEW XWF Universal Champion: Azrael Erebus |
JOEY STYLES: "He's done it. Azrael Erebus is the new XWF Universal Champion!!"
LUCA ARZEGOTTI: "Yeah Spaceman!!!!"
THEO PRYCE: "None more deserving that's for damn sure."
Paul Heyman and Steve Davids help a depleted Kendall Sawyer out of the ring and the trio start walking up the ramp. The referee hands the Universal Title to its new owner Azrael Erebus.
Azrael stares down at the championship for a few seconds until a voice rings out over the speakers...
"Congratulations, Mr. Universe!"
Cameras focus up the ramp and see a man walking out from the back with a Charlie Sheen mask over his head... IT'S THE XWF OWNER! Shane Anonistrator
is coming out to congratulate the new champion one on one!
Shane A: "Yes, take a good look at that championship, Azrael... You are in fact the first person to hold that championship in quite some time. The XWF has made so much progress in the last couple of years that MOST of the eyes on you right now have never even seen somebody hold that title before. To many, you're going to serve as their first example of what this championship should mean and what level of competition it should bring."
Shane enters the ring as Azrael slings the title up over his shoulder.
Shane A: "Looks good on your shoulder; you'll make a fine champion... as long as you're always on your guard. I can't begin to tell you the level of aggression some have gone to in the past just to try and acquire that championship belt you're holding right now. We've gone through World titles, THE XWF title, we crowned XWF Kings and we've even had an nWo title... but nothing has ever compared to THE UNIVERSAL CHAMPIONSHIP! How ironic that the first man to claim this championship in the new XWF is a man who is at one with the universe? I like that! HA!"
Some of the fans cheer that thought as Azrael looks around and is still catching his breath from that hard fought battle. Shane reaches his hand forward and offers a hand shake.
Shane A: "Congratulations, CHAMP! Not only are you the number one guy in the entire federation, but now you're also the NUMBER ONE TARGET!"
Shane shakes his hand and then raises Azrael's arm in victory before walking up the ramp and leaving the ring to Azrael so he can enjoy his moment. Before Shane disappears to the back, though, he turns toward the ring and says one final thing at the top of the ramp...
Shane A: "Oh yeah... I almost forgot! Your very first title defense is coming up VERY soon."
Shane walks to the back...
...
...
Shane comes out from the back one more time as if he forgot something. He raises the mic.
Shane A: "Did I mention your first title defense is happening SOON?"
Shane disappears to the back again as Azrael remains in the ring, but then...
THE LIGHTS GO OUT!
When the lights finally come back on Sebastian Duke is standing in the center of the ring...
Before Azrael can even react Sebastian Duke uses his briefcase and smashes it into the Universal Champion. Duke then tosses the briefcase out of the ring, a massive dent is now visible on the case.
JOEY STYLES: "Holy fuck."
THEO PRYCE: "Well that's not good. That's not good at all."
LUCA ARZEGOTTI: "Get him Spaceman!!!"
JOEY STYLES: "I can't believe it! This night just keeps on getting better. First the wedding of the century, then Azrael wins a hard fought match for the Universal Title and now Sebastian Duke is here to cash in his 24/7 briefcase. Unbelievable!"
MARK FLYNN: "IS IT? IS IT JOSEPH? IS IT FUCKING UNBELIEVABLE! OR IS IT THE ONLY THING THAT MAKES SENSE GIVEN A NIGHT OF ASTRONAUT CHAMPIONS AND KEVIN NASH MURDERING A MAN IN COLD BLOOD! AZRAEL IS OUT OF HIS FUCKING SPACE BATTERIES AND SEBASTIAN DUKE IS READY TO PICK THE BONES LIKE THE VULTURE THAT HE IS!”
LUCA ARZEGOTTI: "This is all your fault Theo."
THEO PRYCE: "What? How is this my fault?"
LUCA ARZEGOTTI: "You gave him that briefcase remember?"
THEO PRYCE: "Son of a bitch."
MARK FLYNN: "Yeah Theo way to go. Remind me again why I decided to team up with you and Luca?"
THEO PRYCE: "Usually my plans work, I swear."
MARK FLYNN: "Sure they do."
XWF Universal Title
Azrael Erebus
- vs -
Sebastian Duke
24/7 Briefcase Cash In! |
DING DING DING!!
Erebus is already down to one knee blood running down his face from a wound he just sustained above the eye. Duke hits Erebus with a running knee that sends Erebus backwards and onto the mat. Duke kneels down and starts choking Erebus with both hands. Azrael's face is starting to go white.
The ref leans in and yells for Duke to stop but he refuses. The ref yells again still no change. Finally the ref grabs Duke by the arm and with that Duke finally responds. He removes one hand from Azrael's throat and uses it to push the referee which sends the man stumbling backwards in to the ropes. But the ref who apparently has the biggest set of balls on the planet gets back in Duke's face, or rather the face of the man that killed Duke's son, which Duke now wears as a mask and starts screaming at the King of Darkness, warning him to never put his hands on the ref again. Duke finally let's go of Erebus and stands up, towering over the referee.
This gives Erebus a chance to catch his breath and get to his feet, which he quickly does and positions himself behind Duke waiting to strike.
JOEY STYLES: "This might be the opening Azrael needed to keep his title."
MARK FLYNN: "I feel a quote would be appropriate here. ‘Get him Spaceman!!!’ Hyphen Luca Arzegotti."
LUCA ARZEGOTTI: "Yeah what he said!! Theo, where's my powder?"
THEO PRYCE: "You're out."
LUCA ARZEGOTTI: "Fuck. We gotta make a pit stop after we leave here."
THEO PRYCE: "Or you could just ask the half man Frodo, I'm sure he has some with your name on it."
LUCA ARZEGOTTI; "See Flynn, the man with the plan."
MARK FLYNN: "Yeah he's a regular Sun Tzu."
Erebus walks upto Duke, who is still unaware that his opponent has gotten up, he grabs Duke by the back of the head and out of nowhere hits Duke with The Oncoming Storm.(Reverse of Fate).
The move seemed to take what little strenght Erebus had right out of him. He crawls over to Duke and is able to drape on hand onto him.
The ref gets down and makes the count...
1...
2...
SHOULDER UP!!
Duke get's his shoulder up to break up the count. A few seconds pass and then Sebastian Duke sits up and looks out into the crowd, he can sense the blood in the water so to speak. He gets to one knee, then to his feet. He grabs Erebus by the neck and lifts him to his feet...he punches Erebus in the face once which weakens Erebus, he starts to go limp but Duke keeps him upright. Duke tilts his head sideways slightly as if examining his opponent and then....DARKNESS FALLS!!!
The cover...
1...
2...
3!!!
| Winner and NEW XWF Universal Champion: Sebastian Duke |
The ref hands the Universal Championship to its NEW owner as the fans are still in shock! Duke raises the championship over his head with one arm as Shane Anonistrator walks out from the back again.
Shane A: "Well look at that! Didn't I say the competition for this belt was going to be intense? I guess Azrael didn't believe me? Let's see if Sebastian believes me... HEY SEBASTIAN! You just became the number one target in the entire company if not the entire wrestling UNIVERSE... I sure hope you are on your toes at all times because I can guarantee people are licking their chops as we speak, just waiting to sink into the Dukester! This also means that since Azrael was the champ a few minutes ago, HE is the one who is guaranteed a rematch as soon as he is ready to schedule it! Ya know... I just got done saying earlier how ironic it was to see our very own space man acquire the Universal Championship but I think it will be even more exciting to see what happens when Sebastian Duke is the top dog in a universe where there's not only space men coming after him but also a newly reduced pool of titles to go around. Imagine playing Hungry Hungry Hippos with just ONE of the white balls but all the hippos trying to eat it... that's going to be our XWF as we move forward now, and Sebastian Duke is that white ball. Come out come out wherever you are, hungry hippos! HA HA HAAAAAA!"
"Shane" drops the mic and gives a big thumbs up to Sebastian Duke who remains in the ring with the Universal Championship. Duke raises the belt high into the air once again and nods his head slowly as if he's ready for everything that's coming his way as champion!
As the broadcast ends we see...
![[-]](https://xwf99.com/images/portal2/collapse.gif)
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