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~~Gilmour Classic~~ · (05-17-2014)

Continued From Wednesday (Prior to first promo)

We open to the same setup as before with Gilmour Classic sitting by himself in front of what used to be his dining room table. The table had been smashed to pieces when Owen Octavious Carter informed Gilmour Classic that he was booked for Monday Madness. This caused GC to flip out in Classic Gilmour fashion like we've seen so many times before. It didn't take long for OOC to take a hint that he needed to get the fuck out of dodge and let Gilmour Classic do his weird promos. After Gilmour took some time to cool off, he began to open up in front of the camera. Keep your cool, Gilly!

GC: So... A triple threat match with Frodo Smackins and Sebastian Duke.

Only to be followed by a five way TRIPLE TITLE unification main event. A match featuring CUNTdall Sawyer and others...

What a joke.

Did I not just slay the European Champion one week ago? Does management have the attention span of a goldfish, or of that impostor who's running around pretending to be me? This is a pathetic display of management skills! PATHETIC!

Gilmour Classic shouts that last word in the direction of the room that Maria Brink and Owen Octavious Carter are standing in to remind them of how he feels about them.

GC: They actually put Kendall Sawyer into this important match despite her poor showing last week. Kendall Sawyer, the mindless whore who was so easily manipulated by me into deviating from her training regiment. That bitch fell for my trap and wasted her time by repeating what she had already told Jon Plex. I knocked her off of her game just by spouting off a couple of derogatory words. I literally stood there and baited her with shit like:

WHORE

CUNT

SLUT

And it actually worked on that stupid bitch! I just didn't think it would be that easy. Just wow, so easy...

Oh, she didn't take the fall in the match? Doesn't mean shit!

If she didn't take the fall then that means she gets a majority of the blame for her team losing. Where was she when Brommer needed her more than ever? A tag team requires 100% effort from both parties, not just one. So where was your fighting spirit on Monday, mi'lady? Why-- weren't you dying for competition? I believe your exact words were:

Quote:The Imperial Erotican and Gilmour Classic aren't competition.

They're a fucking warmup.

GC: Ahahaha, "fucking warmup." That's great. I can't wait to see how Kendall explains this one. Someone should send me footage of what she says since I'll be too busy to watch her squirm in front of the world. She'll probably go the easy route and try to blame the whole thing on her partner. Typical. At least Brommer went down fighting, taking a WICKED beating from the devil's best friend. Kendall on the other hand, she just gave up and sat around with her thumb up her cooch.

It's sad, so sad. You had Brommer who's actually proven to be a viable competitor in the ring, and you just threw in the towel. Meanwhile, I had to CARRY my team to the victory after that piss poor showing from that slacker ErotiCUNT. It was practically a handicap match. A handicap match that I dominated. And now another win can be tallied up for myself and my senior ranking slave, "Eroticunt." You're welcome by the way, Eroticunt. You seem awfully quiet by the way. That's good, I don't need a slave who runs their mouth every second.

My list of slaves is growing, can't you all see that? Can't you tell by now how strong the Chicken Parm Slave Army is becoming? Maybe I'll just call it the pARMY from now on!

Gilmour Classic laughs wickedly at his clever little play on words. What a brilliant man he is. Quick, someone snip this quote and turn it into a moment that we can remember for eternity.

GC: You can't deny it any more. My influence and power is growing as the week's progress. Just look at the size of my army now. An organization that was once a fledgling consisting of only two names has expanded threefold in a span of one week. A CHAMPION has now enlisted herself as one of my high ranking slave soldiers. Albeit, she's a loser of a champion, but still a champion who most of you look up to and praise. I'm sorry, LOOKED up to. You looked up to her so much that you all named her your Superstar of the Month, and I BEAT HER ALL BY MYSELF! Now you look up to me; the King of X-Treme!

More wicked laughter is thrown our way as Gilly embraces the throne carried by the likes of Kendall, Brommer, Erotican, Maria, Brodie and fake Gilly.

GC: How long was Kendall Sawyer the Superstar of the Month before I dethroned her anyway? Five days?

Heh, a lot can change in five days, can't it? Kendall thought that she reached the top of the mountain. She zoomed up the side of the mountain faster than any rookie that we've ever seen in the XWF. She was nearing the top with one hand placed firmly on the peak when...

BOOM!

I smacked the side of that mountain with my fat cock, creating an avalanche, and Kendall is now on her way down thanks to me! It won't take long before she's buried. That's right, fuck you Kendall, you fucking whore! I beat you therefor everything that I said was right. I raped you and I ejaculated all over your title! Quick, someone put together a match where she has to confess that she was raped by me. Kendall, you are a stupid, stupid, stupid, STUPID CUNT!!!

Suddenly, Gilmour Classic pops up out of his chair, still yelling, runs up to his refrigerator and headbutts the holy hell out of the fucking thing! Jesus fucking Christ, Peter! Calm down, you've made your point already! Leave the refrigerator alone, it's just a refrigerator! Oh my God, Gilmour Classic is bleeding from his forehead now. That was a pretty wicked headbutt to say the least. Gilly might need to see nurse in his next promo and have it end with him fucking her on the examination table. That would make for a pretty evil/wicked/demonic promo, wouldn't it? Much better than watching Duke in the rain digging up corpses to have sex with. You fucking pervert, Duke!

But we've digressed far too much for one night. After hearing all of the commotion, Owen Octavious Carter returns to the kitchen to calm Gilmour Classic down. Sheesh, we'll continue this later.

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