Suddenly the pretend cheeseburger that Graves was so totally tasting, vanishes, and in a rare moment of self-reflection, Graves realizes that he may not have been as prepared for this as he thought, and maybe that's always been his problem... NAH! Graves opens his briefcase, having forgotten that it being empty is cannon. He frowns.


Your honor, one sec! Graves shouts "five-minute recess" out of the side of his mouth and runs off. Four minutes and forty-seven seconds later he returns!


Your honor! I'd like to submit the following items into evidence as exhibits C, D, E, which clearly show that Vita Valenteen's character can and SHOULD be called into question and that such a scheme as paying off an official to PURPOSELY try and enrage someone WHO the defense has already successfully PROVEN has a history of losing his cool and overreacting! In fact, Sarah and Vita would both be privy to this particular trait, AND how they might take advantage of it simply by reviewing HOW Oswald entered this tournament, to begin with!


Graves Airdrops video links to everyone in the room.


Exhibit C:


Exhibit D:


Exhibit E:


Shocked murmurs as the evidence is reviewed!


THEN! There is also the questionable relationship between Vita Valenteen and Sarah Lacklan! It's undeniable that Sarah has taken a special interest in Vita! We see it EVERY WEEK! In fact, you would have been forgiven for forgetting that Vita Valenteen even worked here before Sarah and her marketing team got involved! THIS BRINGS ME TO ANOTHER POINT! Bitch done assigned one of her interns to keep Vita's image all squeaky clean!


CLEAN FROM WHAT!?


WHAT IS VITA HIDING!!!???!!!


Gossiped whispers.


I demand a rematch with the P.P.T. points on the line to take place at the next NON-LOCAL SHOW Anarchy, but be sure to check me out this week! Oh, and also I want my client to have say over who the assigned official is! Graves smiles at Perry Mason. That is unless you think that you can come back from this damning evidence!


Graves sits back down as that Big Mac seems to magically manifest in his hands. Not really, but he can taste it!

With the showing of the last clip on his ancient flip phone, Clinton full-on spit-takes watching Valenteen and Thunder Knuckles very clearly fake a match three years ago.

He wipes his mouth clean and raises a hand meekly.

“...Your honor, I’d like to request a quick five minutes to hyperventilate in the hallway?”

…The wall says nothing, because it’s a wall.

“Yes, I can make it three. Thank you, your honor.”

…

……

Two minutes and fifty-seven seconds later, Clinton is back. His eyes totally don’t look like he might have been crying.

”Your Honor, if it pleases the court, I’d like to present Exhibits… What letter are we on?”

Clinton counts on his fingers… Somehow that helps.

”Ah! Exhibits F, G and H! Permission to approach you your honor?”

Clinton pauses.

…

Then walks up to the wall to pull down a very old-fashioned projector screen.

He shows some clips in rapid succession, because he's not some fancy cityfolk that's mastered AirDrop.

EXHIBIT F (Footage of Big Money Oswald after the 4/7 Anarchy)



EXHIBIT G (Footage of Big Money Oswald after the 2/17 Anarchy)



EXHIBIT H (Footage of Big Money Oswald after Relentless Night #1)



”Now, you may recognize the subject in each of these clips… As Big Money Oswald! You may also notice his pattern of accusing officials of malfeasance! And his opponents of cheating! In fact, doesn’t Oswald have a tendency NOT ONLY to have a bad temper, BUT ALSO to accuse his opponents of dishonest conduct! And in zero of these circumstances has he ever had to defend these faulty claims of malfeasance in court. Any why? Because there's no evidence to support ANY of these claims! Is this unique circumstance in question today any different than the OTHER times Oswald has lobbed BASELESS accusations after eating a loss?”

…

“Wait, is it any different?”

Clinton checks his hand, where he’s written the word ‘no’.

“No!” Clinton smacks his fist into his open palm. “No, it is not different!”

“Now. Has my client bribed and been bribed in the past? …Yeah, and full disclosure, your honor, I did not know that.” He bows to the wall, again demonstrating his subservience to the Judge Wall.

“But! Both Counselor Graves and I have neglected to even discuss the MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THIS CASE! The match itself!”

The entire courtroom gallery Lacklan’s Office bursts into audible gasps.

“I present to you, EXHIBIT I! As in, I JUST WON THIS CASE!”

EXHIBIT I: (The Opening Bit)

“Now, if Chaz Bobo WERE bribed, he would probably disqualify Big Money Oswald the moment he brought a chair into the ring…Or when he swings it at his opponent… BUT INSTEAD! He gives Oswald leeway and allows the match to continue!”

Clinton fast-forwards…

…

…Fast-forwarding…

…

Clinton punches play!

EXHIBIT I (part 2): (The ATTACK)

“As you can see, and as both Counselor Graves and myself agree, his client Big Money Oswald has a terrible temper. The kind of temper that COULD have been exploited into a disqualification… but was not.”

“What actually happened was Chaz Bobo, WHO AS DEMONSTRATED IN EXHIBIT H, has dealt with Oswald’s accusations, shenanigans and malarkey in the past… Refused to take it any longer! Bobo stepped up and demanded that Oswald stop complaining and wrestle! And Oswald responded by kicking Bobo with a boot to his face and pummeling Bobo with offensive strikes until he was disqualified… At which he began assaulting… everyone else…”

“My point is this! Does my client have a past of bribing people and getting her way by less-than-ethical means? …Again, didn’t know that before eight minutes ago, but yes. Emphatically, yes.”

“BUT! Is there evidence beyond a reasonable doubt that Vita bribed Lacklan? No. Nor has opposing counsel EVEN TRIED to demonstrate that! Counselor Graves has provided an impressive amount of circumstantial evidence…”

…


…Clinton waits until Graves looks pleased with himself for receiving a compliment.

…

……

There it is.

“BUT NOT ONE SHRED OF PROOF to back up his client’s claims today in court slash office room. Despite Counselor Graves’ ability to provide video evidence of my client bribing many, many… MANY other people… He has not brought to court today anything to demonstrate collusion, monetary or otherwise, between my client and Anarchy Commissioner Sarah Lacklan.”

“Meanwhile, Vita’s counsel, me. Christopher K. Clinton, hello. I! have presented the smoking gun! Clear evidence that demonstrates ONE. Big Money Oswald has a nasty temper! TWO. When he loses matches, Big Money Oswald attacks people physically AND accuses them of cheating, including, in the past, XWF official Chaz Bobo. AND THREE! Video evidence of Big Money Oswald’s altercation with Chaz Bobo mid-match! Not an isolated incident, but the culmination of many matches where the two shared a ring, in which Bobo attempted to assert his authority and Big Money Oswald disqualified himself by erupting into a violent rage.”

“In summary! If you find the proof DAMNING, give Vita and Oswald a match that's Last Man STANDING!”

Having nailed the most important part of presenting a case (that it rhymes at the end), Clinton sits back in his lawn chair, still covered in sweat, but TO REITERATE, he was NOT crying outside just a few minutes ago.

Graves seems oddly calm in the face of this case's closing evidence. Slowly, he turns to face Oswaldo.


You said THIS was the FIRST time... He says quietly through gritted teeth.


Graves calmly turns back to the wall.


Your honor, if I may use that snazzy projector?


Graves stands up and uses his newly found (sorta)GM powers to access company transfer records before beaming the screen of his phone onto the projector.




SHOCKED GASPS!


Now, your honor, I know that my guy's client would have you believe that this transfer was in fact to cover hospital bills incurred from my client's attack, but I simply call malarky on that! Funny how a whole fundraiser has been set up for this guy, and yet Vita donates such a large sum for a beating that surely cost half that to repair! This donation obviously doesn't take into account any moneies generated by Ruby's raffle and any other donations since! So I say, how can we be sure that THIS isn't the nefarious amount agreed upon prior to Chaz intentionally inciting my proven manchild of a client!?


AAAALLLLLSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!


It should be pointed out that Chaz COULD NOT DQ Ozzy for an attack that occur PRIOR to the bell sounding!


Graves shoots Clinton a sharp glare. Figured you'd know that, Mark!


Graves looks back to the wall, ignoring Clinton's reaction.


The first ILLEGAL decision was IN FACT Chaz CALLING FOR THE BELL while Oswald was OBVIOUSLY NOT READY for the match to begin! Am I arguing that Ozzy isn't a blubbering, cheating, narcissistic piece of crap? NO! But I am arguing that Chaz Bobo acted OUT OF CHARACTER and the ONLY sound explanation is BRIBERY as my client claims!


Graves Ric Flair struts to his wooden table and Sabu dives through it!


WOOOO!

Clinton's right eye briefly twitches when Graves refers to him as Mark. But otherwise, he receives opposing counsel's argument with dignity and placidness.

Clinton raises a hand,

"May I redirect, your honor?"

...

"Yes, I promise I'll be brief."

...

"Thank you, Your Honor. You've been fair and impartial throughout. And I love you."

Clinton stands up.

"Last argument I'll present. Opposing counsel has done a great job of presenting a THEORY of what COULD be. Counselor Graves has connected a non-zero amount of puzzles pieces that fit into his narrative of events."

"BUT! He hasn't shown all the pieces. Because the ones he's leaving out don't fit his picture."

Clinton reaches into his briefcase.

"If it pleases the court, I'd like to poke one last hole in Counselor Graves' case by presenting the most damning bit of evidence of all."

Clinton's hand finds what it's looking for... He whips out!

A sheet of printer paper, with one sentence, in Times New Roman font.

EXHIBIT J:

Quote:Chaz Bobo doesn't have health insurance.

"It might shock you (or not shock you at all, depending on your politics and worldview), but Chaz Bobo's employment status with the XWF is 'contractor'. It is cheaper for the company to essentially employ him per match worked instead of employing him full-time. Essentially, Chaz Bobo is treated as an independent contractor."

"Counselor Graves' estimation that $10,000 is more than double the cost of Chaz Bobo's actual injuries would be accurate... If Bobo had health insurance. But as such, Vita's donation is but a drop in the bucket, facing a torrential tsunami of medical debt that Chaz Bobo will deal with for the rest of his life. Hence, why XWF Anarchy Commissioner Sarah Lacklan essentially started an employee GoFundMe instead of... y'know... helping Bobo file a claim."

"Now, one would assume if Lacklan and/or Vita had paid off Bobo to call the match unfairly, they'd be inclined to pay Bobo not only enough for his medical bills, but EVEN MORE, so he'd keep his mouth shut about his role in the attack. But, again, instead, Commissioner Lacklan has passed the hat around and not even outside of select members of the Anarchy roster."

"Which is NOT how you'd treat a co-conspirator in your grand scheme."

"Which is just another truth that Counselor Graves has to ignore to paint his picture of coordinated conspiracy. Counselor Graves has made a case out of SOME of the facts and told you to fill in the many blanks with his client's wild baseless theories. But, Occam's Razor indicates the simplest story is often the accurate one."

"And the simplest story is that, just like Counselour Graves has suggested, Chaz Bobo made poor calls. Out of bias. Against Big Money Oswald."

"But NOT because of a coordinated conspiracy between him, my client and Sarah Lacklan. But because Oswald has a problem with officials and authority. And Chaz was sick of Oswald challenging his authority and IRRITATED that Oswald started off the match by bringing a chair to the ring. And these circumstances led into a feedback loop where Bobo made biased calls, causing Oswald to lash out, causing Bobo to make more biased calls asserting his authority, like ignoring my client biting her opponent."

"The truth does not reflect well on Bobo's conduct. And in different circumstances, Oswald might have had a case appealing the match for biased officiating and gotten a rematch. But his arguments lose all merit when you see the conclusion, where Oswald not only attacks Bobo, but other officials and employees who came to the ring to restore order."

"If we were in office-court-office today to argue whether or not Bobo had committed official misconduct and tampering with a match, there would be an argument to be had. But we aren't. We're arguing whether Vita Valenteen is guilty of bribery and collusion, which if so, would absolve Big Money Oswald of defamation."

"And there is a damning lack of evidence that Vita has colluded. And we have provided substantial evidence that Oswald has a history of defaming his opponents after losing, whether or not there's evidence of malfeasance."

"Your Honor, we rest our case."

Clinton reaches up to the wall judge and hits the @Lacklan button, which the room has, interestingly enough, in case... y'know... Sarah Lacklan ever has to get ahold of... herself.

(04-18-2022, 06:24 PM)Mark Flynn Said: Clinton's right eye briefly twitches when Graves refers to him as Mark. But otherwise, he receives opposing counsel's argument with dignity and placidness.

Clinton raises a hand,

"May I redirect, your honor?"

...

"Yes, I promise I'll be brief."

...

"Thank you, Your Honor. You've been fair and impartial throughout. And I love you."

Clinton stands up.

"Last argument I'll present. Opposing counsel has done a great job of presenting a THEORY of what COULD be. Counselor Graves has connected a non-zero amount of puzzles pieces that fit into his narrative of events."

"BUT! He hasn't shown all the pieces. Because the ones he's leaving out don't fit his picture."

Clinton reaches into his briefcase.

"If it pleases the court, I'd like to poke one last hole in Counselor Graves' case by presenting the most damning bit of evidence of all."

Clinton's hand finds what it's looking for... He whips out!

A sheet of printer paper, with one sentence, in Times New Roman font.

EXHIBIT J:

Quote:Chaz Bobo doesn't have health insurance.

"It might shock you (or not shock you at all, depending on your politics and worldview), but Chaz Bobo's employment status with the XWF is 'contractor'. It is cheaper for the company to essentially employ him per match worked instead of employing him full-time. Essentially, Chaz Bobo is treated as an independent contractor."

"Counselor Graves' estimation that $10,000 is more than double the cost of Chaz Bobo's actual injuries would be accurate... If Bobo had health insurance. But as such, Vita's donation is but a drop in the bucket, facing a torrential tsunami of medical debt that Chaz Bobo will deal with for the rest of his life. Hence, why XWF Anarchy Commissioner Sarah Lacklan essentially started an employee GoFundMe instead of... y'know... helping Bobo file a claim."

"Now, one would assume if Lacklan and/or Vita had paid off Bobo to call the match unfairly, they'd be inclined to pay Bobo not only enough for his medical bills, but EVEN MORE, so he'd keep his mouth shut about his role in the attack. But, again, instead, Commissioner Lacklan has passed the hat around and not even outside of select members of the Anarchy roster."

"Which is NOT how you'd treat a co-conspirator in your grand scheme."

"Which is just another truth that Counselor Graves has to ignore to paint his picture of coordinated conspiracy. Counselor Graves has made a case out of SOME of the facts and told you to fill in the many blanks with his client's wild baseless theories. But, Occam's Razor indicates the simplest story is often the accurate one."

"And the simplest story is that, just like Counselour Graves has suggested, Chaz Bobo made poor calls. Out of bias. Against Big Money Oswald."

"But NOT because of a coordinated conspiracy between him, my client and Sarah Lacklan. But because Oswald has a problem with officials and authority. And Chaz was sick of Oswald challenging his authority and IRRITATED that Oswald started off the match by bringing a chair to the ring. And these circumstances led into a feedback loop where Bobo made biased calls, causing Oswald to lash out, causing Bobo to make more biased calls asserting his authority, like ignoring my client biting her opponent."

"The truth does not reflect well on Bobo's conduct. And in different circumstances, Oswald might have had a case appealing the match for biased officiating and gotten a rematch. But his arguments lose all merit when you see the conclusion, where Oswald not only attacks Bobo, but other officials and employees who came to the ring to restore order."

"If we were in office-court-office today to argue whether or not Bobo had committed official misconduct and tampering with a match, there would be an argument to be had. But we aren't. We're arguing whether Vita Valenteen is guilty of bribery and collusion, which if so, would absolve Big Money Oswald of defamation."

"And there is a damning lack of evidence that Vita has colluded. And we have provided substantial evidence that Oswald has a history of defaming his opponents after losing, whether or not there's evidence of malfeasance."

"Your Honor, we rest our case."

Clinton reaches up to the wall judge and hits the @Lacklan button, which the room has, interestingly enough, in case... y'know... Sarah Lacklan ever has to get ahold of... herself.

Desperation fills the air.













OBJECTION, YOUR HONOR!

He has already made his closing statements and I've made mine! You can't do it twice!


He's just wasting the courts time! 🙄

I request... ALL THAT to be striken!

Clinton doesn't object to Graves' objection. Mostly, because he's too busy making a crayon drawing of him and Judge Wall that says "Best Friends Forever". He holds it up to the Judge to show off that he colored inside the lines.

He eagerly awaits the decision (if one comes...)

*Micheal is conflicted because while he hates anyone who argues against him, he also thinks that's a really nice crayon drawing. He then gets sad when he realizes that he's not in it.*

😭😭😭😭😭

Clinton sees tangible sadness on opposing counsel's face... he reaches for the green crayon.

After some minor edits and white crayon to edge out rough bits, he holds up the drawing to opposing counsel.

Judge Wall, Clinton and Graves are all playing basketball. Clinton's drawn legs onto Judge Wall so he can play defense in 2-on-1 games.

He's also crossed out the 'For' in Forever and drawn over it.

Now it says "Best Friends For3-ever".

Is on his phone,

"Yes. You heard me right. That's what he wants. I have a good feeling about this, so get it ready. Also-"

He looks at Graves

"Do you want an extra hundred dollar gift card to somewhere else as well?"

Vita has been busy, you know, training to beat time wasters like Oswald!


Vita doesn't sell the judge wall and instead addresses Oswald directly!

HOLD THE CHEESEBURGER GIFT CARD!


First of all! Shes been hanging around Sar too much! My past transgressions against the business are well known and I've worked my butt off FOR YEARS to change the perception about me!

Secondly, about my donation to Chaz Bobo's go fund me...

Vita nods to Mr. Clinton.

Good job dispelling that false narrative! Any further questions pertaining to that fund can be addressed with YOUR Anarchy Commissioner!


Now stop trying to steal points that you didn't earn and go maybe take a Xanex and try not to totally blow it next round!

(04-19-2022, 06:32 AM)Vita Frickin Valenteen Said: Vita has been busy, you know, training to beat time wasters like Oswald!


Vita doesn't sell the judge wall and instead addresses Oswald directly!

HOLD THE CHEESEBURGER GIFT CARD!


First of all! Shes been hanging around Sar too much! My past transgressions against the business are well known and I've worked my butt off FOR YEARS to change the perception about me!

Secondly, about my donation to Chaz Bobo's go fund me...

Vita nods to Mr. Clinton.

Good job dispelling that false narrative! Any further questions pertaining to that fund can be addressed with YOUR Anarchy Commissioner!


Now stop trying to steal points that you didn't earn and go maybe take a Xanex and try not to totally blow it next round!

"I was advised by my XWF Attorney, Michael Graves, to NOT make any verbal retaliation. If you wish to talk to me, you can speak to him. Until then, outside of this explanation, there will be no further conversation between us until told by my attorney. And Michael, I'll even sweeten your pay. I'll give you a crisp, newly minted, $20 bill, to do as you please with it. On top of the gift cards and your 24 pack of Diet Coke."

*presses @Vita Frickin Valenteen button*

Oddly enough, Jami show's up in Vita's stead.


Two light taps on an already open door. *Knock Knock* And Jamie walks in.


"Um, ma'am, I noticed that you called for Vita. She's not exactly available at the moment. Can I help you with something?"


Jami clenches her tablet tightly to her chest as she nervously awaits her instructions.

1) 😮




2) 🤗



3) 👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻

Reg happens to peer at the Sar's office open door, and see's Vita's assistant Jamie looking all nervious and what not.

"I know that Sarah and Vita are plotting on the next scheme of the next show from but I wanted to give you this on be half of me."

Reg then hands Jamie a few roses and an evelope with something inside it.

"This is for Vita, tell her that Regino Heat wanted to give her a gift before our match this Saturday."

Then he heads out the door, before he shakes his head Sar for how much attention she needs and leaves.

(04-26-2022, 09:05 AM)Lacklan Said: *Sarah confuses Jami with her oddball reaction.

And she's too intimidated to speak up.

"..."

So she will stand here until she is dismissed, or Sarah has clearly left for the day. Whichever comes first...

☹️

*settles in for a long long LONG day of paperwork*

After literally like, a whole hour of watching Sarah masterfully ignore her presence (it's actually been minutes), Jami finally works up the courage to say something.


"...Can I ask you a question?"

*holds up a finger to indicate to wait a moment*

*probably, like, in French, because Sarah*

*many minutes go by as the other hand writes on parchment with a feather-tipped pen...because Sarah*

*looks up with (trademarked) Billion $$$ Smile*

"Likely as many as you'd like!"

O O
.
____

OMG! CAN!? CAN!?!?! CAN!?!?!?!?!? SO STUPID!


"I misspoke, I'm sorry, Blood Princess. I only meant to inquire about a rumor that I heard. Some of the other interns implied that my position may be in jeopardy due to my heritage. They told me to ask 224, but I can't seem to find anything about her in our directory... and..." *Jamie giggled nervously* "I... I feel silly for even bringing it up... I'll see my way out..."


*Jami backs her way towards the door with many many MANY apologetic bows*

The feather-tipped flies through the air with the dangerous grace and accuracy of Gungnir being thrown by Odin himself until it pierces the door and forces it shut. Sarah's smile is sickly sweet.

"224? Now that's a designation I've not heard in a long time. A long time."

As overly sweet as her smile may seem, there is a glint of barely-held malice in her eyes, a threat gliding below the surface, barely withheld.

"Define...'heritage,' dearie."

As the feather quill slammed the door shut, Jami may have pee-ed a little. When Sar asked her to define heritage, she surely did.


It should be explained that Jami is half Japanese, and when this comment was made to her, she assumed that is what was being implied, however, in the face of a nervous twitch in Sar's eye. One so subtle that perhaps even Sar doesn't even realize that it's there. Jami quickly determines it best to lean into the ambiguity of her physical appearance with her response.


"Um... Well, I assumed that they were speaking about the Filipino side of my family... Ma'am... I mean, Piper makes it fairly obvious that I'm Scottish, right?" *more nervous laughter* "I'm... I'm thinking that I might be the subject of a new girl hazing... Perhaps?"

One of Sarah's eyes twitches again as she mutters to herself.

"...better keep her away from the Mrs...I swear to God, even a slightly almond-shaped eye makes her blush hard enough to turn purple..."

But she's 100%, totally sure she kept the twitching from being unnoticed.

"Don't be silly! There's been ZERO hazing ever since that lawsuit!"

She waves away the question before Jami can even ask it.

"Silly, that. N-E-Ways, make sure to have Veeve text me ASAP when she's available! Got LOADS to talk about, obvs."

"Yes, Blood Princess! She's tied up with the media blitz that you asked for at the moment, but the very minute that she's available, I will make sure that she contacts you first and foremost!"


*Jamie grimace smiles her way out the door, only pulling it open enough to slide her thin frame through the opening before pulling it closed behind her and resting against it in relief whispering super quietly to herself* "Holy shit, that was tense. Mental note, begin building a potential racial discrimination suit... Just in case."

*takes a break from pressing the Vita button-*

...bitch has probs been drooling over some cute boy's neck for the last freakin' week...

*-long enough to send @Jenny Myst a text*

Sarah is the Best, Sarah Number One
All I'm saying is that, if you just so HAPPEN to cut that dumb whore Alex's face off and ACCIDENTALLY wear it on your own in a moment of grotesque mockery like you're playing Masquerade, there just MIGHT be a trip to the ice cream shoppe in your future. Lots and LOTS of sprinkles!

Graves strolls in and yells "WHAT'S UP, BOSS LADY!?" to @Lacklan who is displaying immense patience both with Jenny's tardiness, and Gravy's... Gravy-ness. Graves, of course, strolls into the office without an invite, takes a seat across from Sar, and rests his feet on the corner of her desk. Little crumbs of caked in mud flake all over Sar's desk.


"Listen, you may or may not know this, but I've been looking to sign up for some in-ring action here in the XWF for some time. Lane WAS letting me work there for a while, but after that asshole, Charlie Nickles buried me alive at Fire and Ice, Lane suggested an office job. Now, I will admit that coming up with new ways to maim and injury the Madness roster each month is a pretty sweet gig, but, I'm a fighter, sweetheart, and fighters need to fight."


Graves leans back with his and behind his head.


"So, how about hooking ole Gravy up with something on Anarchy?"


(That smile... My God... It's times like these that I consider changing his pic base yet again!)

*looks at notes*

"Are we SURE I didn't kill you, like, a couple years ago?"

You can't kill Gravy, baby! I'm fucking eternal.

(04-30-2022, 04:10 PM)(Gravy_Xtreme_5000) Said: You can't kill Gravy, baby! I'm fucking eternal.

Oswald pokes Graves

"I thought you were handling my case."

In fact, Oswald, Gravy and Flynn Clinton haven't moved from their places in Lacklan's office in...

*checks watch*

ELEVEN DAYS?!?

"For real, can we get a decision on our case? Not to rush you, Honorable Judge Lacklan and/or Judge Honorable Wall, but I've been logging billable hours this whole time, so... I'm up to 264 that I will be charging directly to Anarchy."

The judge never ruled, my man. IDK, go do to her what you did to Barney Green until she submits your points back. The system has failed!

Gravy shrugged.

(04-30-2022, 07:00 PM)Mark Flynn Said: In fact, Oswald, Gravy and Flynn Clinton haven't moved from their places in Lacklan's office in...

*checks watch*

ELEVEN DAYS?!?

"For real, can we get a decision on our case? Not to rush you, Honorable Judge Lacklan and/or Judge Honorable Wall, but I've been logging billable hours this whole time, so... I'm up to 264 that I will be charging directly to Anarchy."

*Graves is so full of himself that he didn't hear Clinton... at first.*

Tell your narrator to speak for himself. I've been busy doing shit!

REPLAY Said:"Listen: His diet…like his wrestling…is technically sufficient…but hardly satisfying."

"To our esteemed Commissioner, Ms. Sarah Selena Lacklan:

I am sending you this Big Bentô Box in the hopes that you will now be satisfied!

Yours sincerely,

"The Lion" Raion Kido, Gold Saint of Leo”

Sarah, now dressed in her cute as 🔥 Q-inspired judge outfit, munches on her bento box.

"...Sweet Baby Jesus, Kido, you could have at least included SOME flavor..."

Sarah's excruciatingly accurate pronunciation of "Kee-DOH" stands in stark contrast to the typical "Keedo," and even more so than the "Kido" heard by a few members of the XWF roster. Because Sarah. She lightly brushes her lips with a cloth, which no doubt has a higher thread count than any sheet the vast majority of her peers sleep on, much less clean themselves with, and raps an unneccesarily ornate gavel loudly.

"ORDER IN THE COURT!"

She uses the gavel to point at Marf and Graves.

"Approach the bench, please.

As she waits, she notices something super important that has happened and mashes the @Sierra button over and over again.

Marf Flynn CHRISTOPHER K. CLINTON, ESQ., walks up to Lacklan's desk.

"Miss Valenteen's counsel is present, your honor."

(05-02-2022, 08:45 AM)Mark Flynn Said: Marf Flynn CHRISTOPHER K. CLINTON, ESQ., walks up to Lacklan's desk.

"Miss Valenteen's counsel is present, your honor."

OBJECTION!!! Hearsay! Foundation! Compound!

*Graves has learned new terms, just not how to use them. He approaches the bench*

My apologies, Mr. Clinton. I momentarily forgot which part of the multiverse we were in.

She gives him the merest hint of a suggestion of a thought of a bow of her head.

Here's the reality: This bit has gone on WAY too long. Listen, I've been trying to sneak in my Beloved so that we can engage in some workplace sexytiming because, even though she loathes Q and other "white folk" aspects of Star Trek with a passion...

She gestures towards herself and her Q judge outfit with the custom puffiest of puffy sleaves.

I mean, c'mon, right? One Q-snap of my paintstakingly-manicured fingers and BLAMO! Kenzi's clothes are soaking on the floor. And I can't make THAT happen until I make THIS happen. Therefore:

She looks out into the insanely diverse audience of this "trial."

The court finds in favor of Ms. Valenteen. Because duh. THE CASE IS DISMISSED!

"YES! ANOTHER CASE WON!"

Clinton closes his briefcase and salutes Miss Frickin' Valenteen on his way out the door.

Tough break Ozzy!


Graves eyes Sar.


About my potential return to the ring. I was thinking, maybe something with Herchel Kiss? OR we could just throw me right into the main event and let me slide that Anarchy title onto my waist after a Latina Submits to Me!


You may get the impression that Graves thinks that he's much more clever than he actually is. Talented too. And good-looking.

"...honestly, considering the people Vinnie likes to book to 'challenge' champions who are aren't named Lacklan...honestly, still can't believe how easy Ruby had it when she was champ..."

Sarah rubs her chin thoughtfully before smashing the @"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane button.

VINNE! Book El Es Em against Walking Dead over here. Like, next time. Or something.

She looks back at Graves.

Heads up that you might have a shot with my 4th Place Best Friend Ruby. She's REALLY into undead boy-toys.