Unknown Soldier
- vs -
"Good Time" Stevie McKeown
- vs -
Alex Kincaid Triple Threat!
Referee: Chaz Bobo
SARAH LACKLAN PLUMP PIGEON TOURNAMENT - S BLOCK
CALVARY
VITA VALENTEEN
BIG MONEY
GENERIC HEEL
RUBY
TOMMY WISH
CALVARY
N/A
X
VITA VALENTEEN
X
N/A
X
BIG MONEY
N/A
X
GENERIC HEEL
X
N/A
RUBY
N/A
X
TOMMY WISH
N/A
EACH SHOW WILL HAVE THREE MATCHES FROM EACH BLOCK UNTIL ALL PAIRINGS HAVE BEEN MADE. TALLIES WILL BE UPDATED IN THE GRID AS WE ADVANCE.
FOR THIS SHOW:
RUBY - vs - GENERIC HEEL
CALVARY - vs - TOMMY WISH
BIG MONEY OSWALD - vs - VITA VALENTEEN
Centurion
- vs -
O. Bay T-Law X-Treme Rules!
Referee: HoloRef Dot Gif
SARAH LACKLAN PLUMP PIGEON TOURNAMENT - L BLOCK
LORD RAAB
CENTURION
JASON CASHE
HGH
BOOTS LICHTER
DOLLY WATERS
LORD RAAB
N/A
CENTURION
X
N/A
JASON CASHE
N/A
X
X
HGH
X
N/A
BOOTS LICHTER
X
N/A
X
DOLLY WATERS
N/A
EACH SHOW WILL HAVE THREE MATCHES FROM EACH BLOCK UNTIL ALL PAIRINGS HAVE BEEN MADE. TALLIES WILL BE UPDATED IN THE GRID AS WE ADVANCE.
FOR THIS SHOW:
BOOTS LICHTER - vs - HGH
LORD RAAB - vs - DOLLY WATERS
JASON CASHE - vs - CENTURION
Elijah Martin & Jason Cashe
- vs -
Latina Submission Machina & "La Reina" Daniela Raye-Weathers Tag Match Rules!
1 RP per Team
Referee: Ari Silverstein
PRYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Since this show is outside, the fireworks are EVEN MORE INSANE than usual! This place hasn’t heard booms like this since that one guy tried to explode the whole Olympics!
Cambot drones swing through the sky, catching the rabid fans as they wave their signs around…
HEY CENTURION WHAT’S
NELLIE’S NUMBER?
WHY IS UNKNOWN SOLDIER HERE?
PUT THE MASK BACK ON LSM!!!
I DIDN’T BREAK DOLLY’S LEG
BUT I’LL BREAK HER BACK!!!
Finally the drones make their way to ringside where “Loverboy” Vinnie Lane and Bama T., with his adorable puppy Sassafras as always, sit at their announce table.
Vinnie Lane: "Welcome to Anarchy, everyone! Bama, thanks for joining me!"
Bama: "I wouldn’t miss it! I seen you got smart and did this one outside so ol’ Sarah Lacklan can’t dim the lights on you!”
Vinnie Lane: "That’s exactly right, Bama, I outsmarted her for once! It’s a great show we have lined up, and tonight we’re-!"
SCREE SCREE SCREE SCREE
Bama: "Dang, baby, what’s that sound?!"
Vinnie Lane: "I don’t know but it HURTS, dude!"
SCREE SCREE SCREE SCREE
Bama: "It’s them Bingo Twins, dawg."
Indeed, Da Bing Bong Twinzz are making their way to the ring…while pushing two massive lighting towers toward the ringside area, the SCREE SCREE of the wheels making everyone cover their ears and cry in pain.
Vinnie Lane: "I don’t know what they’re doing here, but it can’t be good."
Bama: "They’re cranking up those towers, sweetheart."
Now past the rows of chairs and next to the ring, the twinzz crank up the towers so that they rotate up and over, their lights facing the crowd. The two look at each other and, with them counting on their hands, they go from 5-to-1 and then turn on the lights.
Vinnie Lane: "OH GOD MY EYES"
Bama: "WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT, DEAR?"
EYES
ON
ANARCHY!
Oh, THAT’S why.
Da Bing Bong Twinzz lower the lights, blessedly allowing the crowd to recover from possibly permanent retinae damage, so that the Commissioner’s entrance can be done correctly in this odd venue.
KA-CLACK KA-CLACK KA-CLACK
Vinnie Lane: "Ah, Jesus, Sar."
KA-CLACK KA-CLACK KA-CLACK
Bama: "Dang, puttin’, that’s a heck of a horse!"
Riding up on a massive pure black Friesian mare, a horse so black and sleek that her hair glimmers like the moon’s reflection off a dark, still pond, Sarah Lacklan proudly makes her way down the aisleway. Two large red lights follow her, with Da Bing Bong Twinzz having taken out large flashlights fitted with red filter caps providing her with the usual spotlight. Dressed in an insanely smart blue-and-gold riding dress, with the skirts split so that she can sit split-legged on the horse’s massive saddle, the puffiness of the sleeves are only outdone in pageantry by the massive wide-brimmed hat atop her head. With a subtle squeeze of her knees, the horse comes to a stop at the end of the aisle.
Crowd: CHAMP! CHAMP! CHAMP! CHAMP!
Sarah smiles at the crowd, her Billion $$$ shine seemingly as bright as the previous flash from the light towers, and holds out a gloved hand. Da Twinzz fall over themselves trying to hand her the microphone rigged into the PA system, and one of them…Sarah has no idea which one…succeeds. She gives them both a gentle pat on the head and the two pull away the light towers.
SCREE SCREE SCREE SCREE
Sarah: My name is Sarah Lacklan-
SCREE SCREE SCREE SCREE
Crowd: *mimics trumpet fanfare fit for the Queen*
SCREE SCREE SCREE SCREE
Sarah…thankfully…decides to wait a lil bit for Da Twinzz to get the towers out of earshot.
Sarah:-YOUR Anarchy Commissioner! And I’m out here in front of you wonderful Baby Birds because it was RIGHT HERE in this park that I totes beat my 3rd Place Bestie Roxy for my very first World Championship super duper clean. Like, totes legit, girlhood dream come true. Like, with absolutely ZERO interference or influence from ANYONE whatsoever. And now I have brought the third round of THE best tournament EVER in the history of tournaments to you! That’s right, the Plump Pigeon Tournament, the inaugural #Sar1ClimAXLY!!
And tonight? The S Block will see my 4th Place Best Friend Ruby Desmelly try to avoid the toxic waste that is the Generic heel, #Vita’sTotesLegitHotBoiStopTryingToSayHe’sNotIt’sAThing Calvary try to keep Footmania from Runnin’ Wild, and Shorty McShortStuff get taken out by Buffy’s Worst Nightmare. And then the L Block will see Boots probs surprise me AGAIN as he sneaks past Hugglepuff, that unwashed janitor hopefully slip in his own puke so that my Ward can survive her cast, and the EPIC SHOWDOWN that is MISTER Four Corners verses MISTER Blue Pill…who, for some reason, is also facing some other dude because Centy gets freakin’ TRIGGERED whenever politics comes up…LOL!”
She holds up her finger into the air.
Sarah:And in the Main Event! The FORMER Champion Elijah will team up with Cashe in HIS second match of the evening…because sure, whatev…to take on the team of the NEW Champion in the now-maskless El Es Em and her partner “I work here sometimes…I think” Dee Are Dubs.
She points her finger ever higher.
Sarah:But FIRST! The embarrassing remnant of someone peeps around here axly thought was an amazing competitor…LOL…is going to get kicked around by Good Times and/or some dude whose name sounds SUPER familiar but I just can’t place where I’ve seen him from. And, to be fair, I have wrestled in a LOT of companies in my career, so they all just kinda blend in together. N-E-Ways…enjoy the show!
Sarah begins to turn the horses reins but then looks into the camera.
Sarah:Oh! And! ONE MORE THING! Paging Double V: Riding practice time! kthanxbye
Sar walks off and the Twinzz once agains drag off the lighting rig.
Bama: “She interrupted you anyway, man.”
Vinnie Lane: “Shut up, Bama. Let’s just go to the ring…”
Unknown Soldier
- vs -
"Good Time" Stevie McKeown
- vs -
Alex Kincaid Triple Threat!
Referee: Chaz Bobo
We go to the ring where Alex Kincaid is already standing in one corner.
Bama: "Never a good sign when you’re already in the ring.”
Vinnie Lane: "I don’t even know who this guy is!”
“Good Time” Stevie McKeown makes his way down to the ring as the crowd cheers for him. He slaps some hands and dances to his music before hopping into the ring and raising his arms for the fans.
Vinnie Lane: "Here’s a guy who came REAL close to being Anarchy Champion in only his second match on the show!”
Bama: "Yeah but it’s back to the drawing board now, baby!”
The ominous music plays as a guy wearing the skin suit of Jon Taffer from Bar Rescue pulls a large, fat goat down to ringside by a rope.
Taffer sticks his hand to the elbow up inside the goat’s ass, and a gush of brownish reddish fluid then sprays out, along with Unknown Soldier!
Soldier towels off and we can see he is only wearing a jet black banana hammock with a blood red pentagram on the crotch. He gets in the ring and squeezes his junk.
Bama: "I might need an explanation…”
Vinnie Lane: "Let’s just pretend none of that happened!”
Bama: "Fine by me, there’s the bell baby!”
DING! DING! DING!!!
Soldier powerslams Kincaid and then drops a huge banzai drop on him. He looks at McKeown and then just vomits up a bunch of amniotic fluid from his time in the goat womb.
Stevie McKeown looks horrified and clearly is not enjoying the stench in the ring, but he holds his breath and grabs Soldier in a spinning spinebuster!
Soldier leaves a wet print on the mat and rolls out to the floor as Alex Kincaid slowly gets to his feet… and McKeown slaps the Night Night Time sleeper on him!
He’s out cold!
Chaz Bobo checks Kincaid’s arm… it falls limp!
He calls for the bell!
DING! DING! DING!!!
Winner by Submission - “Good Time” Stevie McKeown
Soldier slides back into the ring but realizes it’s already over. He shrugs and leaves the ring, pausing to slit the throat of the goat that gave birth to him as a sacrifice to the underworld.
Bama: "That was FAST! Oughtta give us more time to discuss whatever the heck that entrance was from the Soldier Boy…”
Vinnie Lane: "Nope! No, let’s just move on…"
Calvary
- vs -
Tommy Wish
The lights start flickering in the arena, and we see smoke blowing out from the stage, and we see Tommy coming out in a light jacket with the hoodie on his head. He then comes out, and he does some shadow boxing on the stage. Then he walks down to the ramp, and he looks at the fans and gives them all a fist bump as he's walking down. Then he slides into the ring, and stands in the middle of the ring poses to the crowd as his theme fades off.
Bama: "I tell you what, Tommy Wish looks ready to GO right here to night, baby!"
Vinnie Lane: "I've known Tommy for a long time, Bammer, and he is NEVER going to just lay down and get beat without a fight!"
As the music kicks up, The Calvary can be spotted in the corner of the arena with his chest puffed out. He flies down to the ring before slowly descending onto a turnbuckle where he gives out a mighty bellow. He pounds his chest before stepping down into the ring and cracking his knuckles.
Vinnie Lane: "Something just doesn't seem quite right about Cal lately, dude... I really think what happened with Vita might have gotten... under his skin!"
Bama: "That was terrible, boss, my god you need better jokes..."
The bell rings and the match begins.
Calvalry comes flying off the blocks, blindsiding Tommy. He knocks Wish back against the ropes with a flurry of aggresive punches, causing Tommy to cover up. Calvalry doesn't relent, and eventually Wish has to kick him in the shin to back him off. This only gets him away briefly as he is right back on the attack, clothesling Tommy over the ropes to the mat outside.
Tommy takes a moment to get his bearings and Calvalry doesn't want to wait. He comes off the top with a springboard cross body, taking them both down!
Bama: "Fast start here for Calvalry. I guess he is learning something in this tournament, you gotta stay on your opponents early and often!"
Vinnie Lane: "He learned that from Backpage, too!"
Both men are up, the ref is counting, and they are trading blows on the outside. Wish is able to knock Calvalry's head off the ring post and slide back into the ring to break the count. Calvalry is back up quick though and slides into the ring right before the ten count. He is greeted with stomps to the back by Wish. Wish pulls him up and whips him off the ropes. On the rebound he goes for a clothesline but Calvalry ducks it, spinning around. Wish turns around. Kick to the gut. Off the ropes with a sissors kick! He covers!
1!
2!!
Wish gets a shoulder up!
Bama: "That close! Man he can be explosive when he wants to! That move came outta nowhere!"
Vinnie Lane: "He learned that on Backpage, also!"
Calvalry stands Wish up now. He fires a hard shot to the head then whips him into the corner. He runs and splashes Wish. Wish stumbles out to the middle where Calvalry comes off the ropes and hits a running bulldog.
A quick cover.
1!
2!!
But Wish gets a shoulder up again.
Bama: "Calvary is gonna need to do more than that to finish the job, and don't you dare mention Backpage!"
Vinnie just sits there smiling.
Calvalry lifts Wish back up again and boots him in the stomach, doing for a DDT but Wish slides around and wraps his arms around the waist of Calvalry. Calvalry tries elbowing out of it, but Wish has him in tight. He drops him back for a big suplex, but he keeps his hands locked. He has more in mind!
Wish lifts him, his hands still locked.
SUPLEX.
SUPLEX.
SUPLEX.
SUPLEX.
SUPLEX.
He finally lets go when he is spent and Calvalry has been knocked half-goofy.
Wish signals for the end of lifts Calvalry up by the head, going for his finisher. The scrappy Calvalry however rakes the eye to back Wish off. When Tommy steps back, Calvalry comes off the ropes but is stopped dead in his tracks by a shoulder-block from Wish. Calvalry reaches for the ropes to pull himself up but Wish, smelling blood in the water now, grabs him.
He sets him up for his massive implant DDT!
HideYaFace!!!!!!!!
Calvalry is out. Tommy looks directly into the camera as he hooks the leg.
1!
2!!
3!!!
Winner by Pinfall - Tommy Wish
Ruby
- vs -
The Generic Heel
Vinnie Lane: “...where’s Michael Buffer?"
Bama: "Maybe he gave you a break this week?"
Vinnie Lane: “You won’t here me complain, Bama. That’s an expensive bit."
Bama: "Maybe he-"
Vinnie Lane: “Woah, dude! What’s that up there?!"
Bama: "Dang, baby! That’s a helicopter!"
Vinnie Lane: “That’s not just ANY helicopter, man! That’s the Rubycopter!"
Indeed, going CHA-CHA-CHA-CHA above the crowd in the park is a lime-and-banana colored helicopter. The crowd goes freakin’ INSANE as Ruby, wearing lots and lots and lots of safety equipment, gives them a thumbs WAY up from the cockpit. She gives control of the Rubycopter to the man seated next to her, a nameless/faceless XWF staffer who conveniently is a pilot, and then pushes herself out of the vehicle.
Vinnie Lane: “Who’s that jumpin’ out the sky? RU-BE-WHY O’DEARE-IO!”
Much to the delight of all the children in the crowd…but literally JUST the children and not a SINGLE person above the age of, like, 12…Ruby spreads her arms and small wings pop out. Catching a gust of air like a line-and-banana flying squirrel, she glides in large circles above the ring until gently coming down to the mat.
Vinnie Lane: “Ruby is sporting a lot of new gear for this match, Bama. She’s prepared for the antics of the Generic Heel."
Bama: "If she was really prepared, she’d be gearless, Vinnie."
Vinnie Lane: “wut”
Bama: "wut"
After dutifully allowing the referee to check all of her extra gear for untoward advantages, Ruby patiently awaits for the mega amazing and stupendous arrival of her opponent. And she’s not the only one, for that matter. All of those people above the age of 12? They are swiveling their heads, looking around, hoping for a glimpse of The Generic Entourage.
But there’s no whores.
No prostitutes.
No skanks.
No sluts.
No ladies of the night.
No Red Light District Madams.
Not even a bawd.
Vinnie Lane: “Where’s the Generic Heel, Bama?”
Bama: “Maybe he’s…ya know…’busy?’"
The referee…unnamed because the tournament matches don’t have that fun and super helpful specificity…motions to the rest of the team to once again cue Generic Heel. But, again, there is no entourage.
No call girls.
No cocottes.
No courtesans.
No drabs.
No hustlers.
No prostitutes.
Not even a single sex worker.
Vinnie Lane: “Hold on, cats and dogs, we’re getting a message from the truck and…oh, man.”
Bama: “This can’t be accurate, mang."
Vinnie gets up from the announce table and addresses the crowd.
Vinnie Lane: “We’re sorry, guys, but the Generic Heel couldn’t make it tonight.”
The crowd begins to cry out in fear and loneliness.
Vinnie Lane: “Apparently, he had a previous engagement. Something about giving away free pussy…whatever that means.”
Wails of lamentation come from the crowd.
Vinnie Lane: “Honestly, if this had been handled right away, we wouldn’t be in this situation. Oh well! Do that count-out thing, ref.”
Much to Ruby’s sadness, the referee has no choice but to do the thing that has literally never happened in recent memory.
DING! DING! DING!
The referee begins to count.
1!
2!
The crowd is super sad.
3!
4!
At least count outs don’t count against GH’s perfect record, right?
5!
6!
…what the? There’s movement in the crowd behind Ruby.
7!
…its GH! He’s snuck through the crowd and slipped into the ring!
8!
He must have come up 4th street instead of 5th street. You know, like the truck entrance? Usually that’s reserved for stuff like dropping off food, or packages, or whatever. And lets be honest, this is a pretty freakin’ smart move.
9!
TURN AROUND, RUBY!
SCHOOL BOY!
With an arm way WAY up Ruby’s body, the Generic Heel drops his weight down and pulls Ruby over him, making her fall flat on her back. He rolls with the movement and pushes his body up until he is pressing down on her legs, wrapping her up in a pinning predicament. The face under Ruby’s mask is SHOCKED. The referee is SHOCKED. But still, the pinfall happens.
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!
Ruby somehow is able to push the Gelatinous Cube of a man away and send him flying. She kips up to her feet and-
THUMB TO THE EYE!
BLOCKED!
GH’s massive thumb, which has won him countless matches, slams into Ruby’s specially-for-this-match mask. Ruby throws a punch at him in retaliation and GH leans back, avoiding the strike. Ruby is overbalanced and ends up spinning around, leaving herself open to a-
BACKRAKE!
BLOCKED!
GH’s fingers, which have been in more holes than the entire membership of your average bowling league, scrape down Ruby’s extra-protected backside. He yelps in pain and drops to his knees. Ruby turns and shakes a finger at him in admonishment, but because Good is Dumb, she doesn’t realize that this was simply a feint for the classic setup to the Generic Piledriver-
LOW BLOW!
BLOCKED!
GH’s arm slams into Ruby’s Maxine-Size cup with enough force to sound as if bones were breaking. The referee, seeing the possible injury, gets between them, giving him some space. Which is when GH goes for the one, single, solitary Generic Old School mechanic that she didn’t prepare for.
FOREIGN OBJECT!
Reaching into his tights as the referee separated them, GH snuck what was probably a roll of quarters wrapped in a cloth, or something, and
WHAM!
Right into Ruby’s head.
Which was also, like, right in front of the referee.
I mean, dude, she was RIGHT THERE.
As Ruby goes down harder and faster than Kenzi Grey at a showing of All Blonde Lesbian Vampires go to Heaven III, the referee has no choice but to call for the bell.
DING! DING! DING!!!
Winner by DQ - Ruby
Vinnie Lane: “I can’t believe it! The Generic Heel has just gotten himself disqualified! It’s his first ever-”
Bama: “Hold on, Vinnie. We’re getting a message from the truck."
Vinnie Lane: “Woah, dude! We’ve just been told that, in a shocking turn of events, apparently according to Generic Heel’s contract, disqualifications don’t count against his record.”
Bama: “Wow! I never saw that coming!"
Vinnie Lane: “Incredible! The Generic Heel remains undefeated!”
KA-CLUMP
KA-CLUMP
KA-CLUMP
Vita Valenteen wasn't afraid of anything. At all. Ever.
KA-CLUMP
KA-CLUMP
KA-CLUMP
She stared down the Brotherhood of Baddies, survived being stabbed in the back by her childhood and lifelong friend, and got up each and every time she got knocked down.
KA-CLUMP
KA-CLUMP
KA-CLUMP
Hell, she was a frickin' teenage VAMPIRE! But THIS?!
KA-CLUMP
KA-CLUMP
KA-CLUMP
Atop a massive black horse running at break-neck speed through Centennial Park, she found herself clutching the waist of Sarah Lacklan with a fear that seeped into her bones. Vita already knew that Sarah drove like a frickin' crazy person ("Roxy taught me how to drive. I'm better than her, obvs, because I am the BEST driver!"), weaving in and out of traffic way over the speedlimit without even a thought of using a turn indicator, but at least that 2-ton death machine she drove couldn't think for itself. THIS monstrosity had a mind of it's own! Vita had never even seen a horse, much less ridden one, and it nearly bit her finger off after Sarah encouraged her to pet her mane.
"Fireheart was my Sweetest Sixteen birthday present."
Of course Sarah frickin' Lacklan had gotten a horse when she turned sixteen.
WATCH OUT!
HELP!
CRAXY PERSON!
SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE!
Person after person ran for their lives as Sarah gave her this "riding lesson." First she stuffed her into one of her riding dresses...with yet another muttered comment about how she'll ...need to take this in at the bust a bit...and the hips... because Sarah's gotta Sarah...and then when it came time to climb aboard this insane monstrous creature, Da Bing Bong Twinzz suddenly appeared, fell to all fours, and became stepstools for them to climb up. Lestat only knows what THAT relationship was all about. And then a suggestive "You gotta brace yourself if you're going to ride a Lacklan, dearie" and off to the fuckin' races they went. To be honest, it wouldn't have been TOO bad if the insane ride hadn't been peppered with a variety of Sarah's typical advice/comments/help/critiques:
"Remind me to schedule a training sesh with you. If you practiced with me more, you'd have been able to win that silly Lord of Violence accolade faster!"
"Dearie, we really need to get Jami to book you on a bunch of talk shows for promotion. Isn't she and her firm just, like, the best?!"
"Now, about those highlights that your totes getting, obvs, ever had your hair long enough to make a braid?"
"Oh! My dresses from Mumsie came in. We'll get you in much much MUCH better clothing soon!"
"Okay, let's talk about your terrible, horrible, insanely-misguided taste in men-"
Okay, that was it.
"How about we talk about how I'm going to kick your sisters butt instead!? Haha, JUST KIDDING! Wouldn't want ya to slip Angie the lowdown on my strategy or anything!"
Vita grinned behind Sarah's back, but she felt awkward over the abrupt change of topic, especially considering-
"Funny story, that."
Vita yelped as they suddenly stopped, the monstrous beast turning and seeming to skid to a stop right in front of a terrified group of people. Once they were finally at a standstill, with Vita breathing hard in surprise, Sarah turned her head so that she could see her in her periphery.
"I want for, and from, her exactly what I want for, and from, you: Excellence."
Sarah turned her head back away from Vita and looked forward.
"Once upon a time, I thought I could change my sister. I was wrong. She doesn't need changing. She needs unlocking. As do you."
Sarah turns again, this time moving her entire body in the saddle so that she and Vita face one another.
"Three years ago, I got on your case about being inconsistant. It seemed that you tried to be someone else every few weeks, like you hoped that some facade or another would bring you success instead of failure."
She shook her head and then jabbed a gloved finger into Vita's chest.
"YOU have the ability to be one of the best wrestlers of our generation. But YOU have to realize that. YOU have to focus on what you want. And do not worry about what OTHERS think about you or your goals."
She shook her head again as her face scrunched into a scowl.
"Ruby Debachy would have you change. In the spirit of thinking the 'best' in people...or what SHE thinks is 'best' in HER world view...she would have people like you and me discard who we are at our cores. I will never try to change you, Vita. Does that make sense?"
Caught off guard by what seemed to be earnest and honest words and emotion from her friend/enemy/big sister/rival/mentor/brand commissioner/equestrian teacher/fashion adviser/Dracula knows what tomorrow, Vita can only nod. This brought Sarah's big smile to her face. And, Spike Above, that smile DID look like it cost a billion dollars to maintain.
"Besides! Like you even need strategy to beat my BABY sister. I've done it, like, a bajillion times."
She turned around and snapped the reins to get the horse moving again.
"Legit, you just have to show her a picture of a cute kitty doing literally anything and she basically goes comatose. Now! Let's get you back before you miss your match!"
Big Money Oswald
- vs -
“Vampire” Vita Valenteen
His music hits, soon the ramp opens up and slowly Oswald begins to rise. His ornate cane planted in the platform, dressed to the nines like always. The crowd starting to chant "MAY-HEM! MAY-HEM! MAY-HEM! MAY-HEM! " Once he was equal to the stage, he flung open his arms to form at, letting out a loud roar, before grinning as he steps forward, making his way as he slowly unbuttons his suit jacket, his tie, his dress shirt, and unbuttoning the Billion Dollar Championship belt, handing it, his clothes, and the cane, to one of his servants as it appears as he takes his stance to get ready to face off against his opponent.
As the opening riff of "Bloody Tear" tore through the arena the crowd jumped to their feet! Vita makes her way down to the ring, slapping hands with her fans along the way. Vita then slides into the ring and postures for the crowd. She doesn’t notice Oswald sliding into the ring behind her with a chair in hand.
Vinnie Lane: “What does "Money" Oswald think he's doing!?”
Bama: “Something Bastardly, baby!”
The crowd is booing the shit out of Oswald.
Vita turns around just as Oswald swings the chair and at the last possible second, Vita ducks the swing. Oswald’s swing connects to the ropes causing it to rebound back into Oswald’s face with a sickening CLACK!
Vinnie Lane: “Ghost Tank didn't know what hit him!”
Oswald drops the chair and falls to the mat as Chaz Bobo calls for the bell.
(DING! DING!)
Bama: "Hey, Chaz, you idiot! you can't start the match with one man down!"
Vita rushes in to hook the leg!
Vinnie Lane: "Well, he did and Vita's looking to capitalize and score an easy two points!"
1!
2!!
KICK-OUT!!!
Vita hammers forearms across Oswald's back, preventing him from getting to his feet! She then hits the ropes and comes in with a bulldog to the knelt Oswald! Vita jumps to her feet and pumps up the crowd before targeting Ozzy with a series of kicks to the sternum, but Oswald catches the last kick and holds her leg under his arm leaving Vita with nowhere to go as Oswald maintains a firm grip and steps to his feet! Oswald taunts Vita before pulling her in and slamming her down with a BIG Double-A Spinebuster! Vita clenches her ribs as Oswald stomps the ring!
Vinnie Lane: "BIG SLAM from "Money" Oswald, and Vita is feeling every bit of it!"
Vita pushes up to her feet, but Oswald rushes in with a blinding big boot! Vita crashes to the mat in a lump, but Oswald grabs her by the hair and pulls her to her feet as Chaz Bobo issues a warning on the hair-pulling! Ozzy ignores him and gets to work! He whips Vita into the corner, where she hits hard before settling into a slump. Oswald charges into the corner with a HUGE clothesline, but Vita hops through the ropes to the apron, leaving Ozzy to crash into the turnbuckle chest first! Stunned, Oswald stumbles towards the center of the ring as Vita takes to the top rope and sizes up Oswald, and as he turns to face her she launches off of the top rope with a crossbody, but Oswald catches her out of the air! He lifts her up high over his head and shows off his strength to the crowd!
Bama: "Hey, Vita Valenteen has been flying pretty damn high in this tournament, but "Big" Oswald is about to teach that what goes up-"
Oswald slams Vita down across his knee with a gutbuster!
Bama: "-MUST COME DOWN, BABY!"
Vita rolls on the mat clenching her ribs again, but Ozzy doesn't give her any breathing room before scooping her up into his massive arms and squeezing the un-life out of her!
Bama: "Lots of guys use a bearhug, but very few of them are as BIG as a bear! I wouldn't be surprised if Vita quit right here, baby!"
Vinnie Lane: "I think you're selling her a bit short, Bama! She is undefeated in her last six matches!"
Bama: "Yeah, well she ain't making it to seven, baby!"
Chaz checks on Vita, but she's refusing to quit! Oswald pops her into the air and slams her down with a second Double A Spinebuster before hooking the leg!
Vinnie Lane: "Oswald looking to pick up a quick win!"
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!!
Vinnie Lane: "Vita managed to kick out!"
Bama: "Maybe, but just because you CAN do something doesn't always mean you should, baby! Vita's in a vulnerable position, and Oswald isn't going to let up!"
Vita continues to lay on the mat as Oswald leans heavily into the ropes and springs off with a running leg drop across Vita's chest!
Vinnie Lane: "BIG Leg Drop from Oswald!"
Oswald hooks the leg!
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!!!
Vinnie Lane: "She did it again!"
Oswald slaps the mat and stomps to his feet. He circles Vita, who's motionless in the center of the ring!
Bama: "Ozzy-baby is getting frustrated, and rightfully so! I'm beginning to question the integrity of this official! How thorough of a background check do you run of these referees, Vin!?"
Vinnie Lane: "Background check? With people like Jenny Myst and Charlie Nickles roaming the halls, what would be the point of performing background checks on the officials!?"
Bama: "Holy shit, baby! Vinnie Lane, YOUR principle owner, everyone!"
Oswald violently rips Vita off of the mat and scoops her into his arms, but Vita wraps her arms and legs around his waist and shoulders and sinks her fangs deep into Oswald's jugular!
Bama: "What the Hell!? That's illegal, Lane! What isn't your official calling for the damn bell!?"
Vinnie Lane: "I dunno what to tell you Bama, teeth TECHNICALLY aren't a foreign object!"
Bama: "BITING IN AND OF ITSELF, IS ILLEGAL!"
That's true, but Chaz doesn't even offer up a warning! Oswald drops to his knees as Vita slides off of him and wipes the blood from her smiling lips.
Bama: "Now, because YOUR official allowed an illegal move, Vita is refreshed and Oswald's the one weakened! How's that FAIR!?"
Vinnie Lane: "He did try and ambush her with a steel chair, are we really going to debate what's fair?"
Bama: "Yeah, and? That was PRE-match! All's fair before and after the bell, baby!"
Oswald is dazed from the attack and struggles to his feet where Vita grabs Oswald by the head and drops to him with a Facebuster!
Vinnie Lane: "Vita looking to end this with her patient cross face that she likes to call "Embrace The Dark"! She claims that it makes all the guys go limp, Bama!"
Vita struggles with the move given Oswald's size, giving him ample time to recover!
Bama: "I think "The Billion Dollar Man" is too BIG and HARD for even Vita, baby!"
Oswald springs to his feet with Vita now on his shoulders! Vita wraps her legs around Oswald's arm, locking it in, but struggles to interlock her fingers!
Vinnie Lane: "If Vita locks her fingers, that could spell the end for Oswald!"
Oswald powers his way out of the hold and drops to his back, knocking the wind out of Vita! Oswald beats Vita to her feet and scoops her up for a powerbomb, but drops her with a verticle spike DDT!
Bama: "The DELETION! Put a fork in Vita, baby!"
Oswald stomps the ring displaying his dominance to the crowd before going for the pinfall!
Vinnie Lane: "That may have been a mistake!"
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!
Oswald is livid! He jumps to his feet and argues with Chaz Bobo and doesn't even see Vita coming in with the roll-up!
Bama: "How is she even alive!?"
Vinnie Lane: "She's NOT, dude!"
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!
Oswald kicks out with force! He jumps to his feet wide-eyed and pissed! He grabs Vita before she can make it to get feet, but she fires off a shot to the midsection, breaking Ozwalds grip, and pulls him down to the mat with an inside cradle!
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!
Vinnie Lane: "Vita Valenteen ALMOST had it there!"
Oswald and Vita make it to their feet at the same time! Oswald throws a heavy clothesline, but Vita ducks it, hits the ropes and comes back with a springboard back elbow, but she bounces right off of Oswald who no-sells the shit out of the attack! Oswald lays the boots to Vita and then peels her up from the mat. For a moment he seems to contemplate what he should try next, but quickly decides to slap the Billion Dollar Dream on the so-called submissionalist! and SIX German suplexes later!
Bama: "That's it!! Go on and call for the damn bell! Vita Valenteen CAN NOT escape the Billion Dollar Dream, baby!
Vinnie Lane: "You never know! She IS pretty close to the ropes, Bama!"
She IS close, in fact, she's SO close that Chaz Bobo notices one of the completely and totally unconscious vampire's feet is positioned directly under the bottom rope!
"ROPEBREAK!"
Bama: "BULLSHIT!"
Vinnie Lane: "Her foot is under the ropes Bama! That's a good call from senior official Chaz Bobo!"
Bama: "Who, for all we know, is a registered sex offender, baby!"
Oswald releases the hold and stomps to his feet, getting right up in the face of Chaz Bobo! Chaz doesn't back down and argues with Oswald, even going so far as to poke Ozzy in the chest just to make sure that he understands WHO is in charge here!
Vinnie Lane: "Oh! Oswald doesn't look too happy about Chaz Bobo pecking his chest!"
Bama: "As he damn well shouldn't be! Lane, why are you officials assaulting the talent!"
Speaking of assault, Oswald hauls off and blasts Chaz Bobo with a HUGE Big Boot knocking the poor son of a bitch right out of his shoes!
Vinnie Lane: "Oswald just attacked the official! He just blew the match!"
Oswald continues to lay a beating on Chaz Bobo as security and the referee squad clear the locker room to restore order! While all of this is going on, Mika Hunt discusses the decision with the ringside officials before it is announced to the live crowd.
Winner via Disqualification - Vita Valenteen
Vinnie Lane: "Back to back disqualifications? Oh man, the IWC is gonna have a field day with this..."
Upon hearing the announcement, Oswald goes on a tirade laying out security and referee alike in a blind rage!
Bama: "Oswald Sephtis is not very happy about the official's decision!"
A few of the referees escape the carnage as Oswald leaves a trail of red, black, and white on his way backstage!
Centurion
- vs -
O. Bay T-Law X-Treme Rules!
Referee: HoloRef Dot Gif
Vinnie Lane: “Radical, folks! If you thought you wouldn’t get a grudge match tonight, you were sorely mistaken!”
Bama: “You ain’ lyin’, Vin-Man! The Plump Pigeon seemed like it might just be a straight-up competition, but it seems something about O. Bay T-Law’s managerial style last Anarchy stuck in Old Man Cent’s craw.”
Vinnie Lane: “Fair cop, Bama! Cent was an odds-on favorite to sweep L block! Then, thanks to some interference by O. Bay, Boots Lichter is currently tied for first, while Cent is 1-1! It’d take a perfect run… And some bad luck for Boots, for Cent to still win the block!”
”THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL!”
“ON HIS WAY TO THE RING FIRST! AT SIX FOOT THREE! WEIGHING 231 POUNDS! O. BAY T-LAW!”
O. Bay T-Law bursts out thee curtain from the back, waving his nightsticks and warning the crowd what may happen if they refuse to OBEY THE LAW, which is, of course, met with a chorus of booing!
Vinnie Lane: “I gotta say, O. Bay has a much better record on Anarchy as a manager, but he looks a lot happier as a competitor.”
Bama: “Fer sure, Vin. O-Bay probably took it as a blessing from Caucasian Conservative Jesus. Cent’s challenge finally got O-Bay off the MAGA bench and back in the ring…”
Vinnie Lane: “Totes true, Bama. Ha! I said totes! But, I don’t know many guys that feel totes lucky AFTER fighting Centy…”
O. Bay stomps down the ramp with his steel-toed boots and slips under the ropes, ready for action…
“AND HIS OPPONENT!”
Centurion's theme fills the arena, receiving a positive reaction from the audience. He walks out onto the ramp and takes a moment to soak in the energy of the love crowd before making his way down the aisle.
Vinnie Lane: “Old man Cent did NOT take kindly to O. Bay getting involved in his match with Boots Lichter last Anarchy. Mucho uncoolio on O. Bay’s part…”
Bama: “Uncoolio like a fox, Vin! This plays right into MAGA’s hands. Right now, Centy is still a dark horse favorite to win the plump pigeon L block. Now, he’s double-booked himself against O-Bay RIGHT BEFORE he takes on the undefeated Jason Cashe! This might be the toughest match Cent has left and he’s working a whole match against an angry sumbitch in O. Bay!”
Vinnie Lane: “However, Bama! If Cent can do some damage to O. Bay, he might be cutting the legs out of Boots’ secret weapon. This match might not count in the Plump Pigeon, but there’s a lot at stake!”
Cent makes it to ringside, where he heads towards the steps and walks up them onto the apron. From there, he climbs in the ring and walks past the official on his way to the corner.
Beaming down from a projector to the center of the ring is Holoref Dot Gif. He plays an audio clip of a ring bell.
DING! DING! DING!!! .mp3
The second the bell rings, O. Bay swings for the fences with his nightstick! Cent ducks and delivers a dropkick!
Vinnie Lane: “Ooooh, for a guy who insists on enforcing the rules, O. Bay sure loves using weapons!”
Bama: “Ain’t no breakin’ the rules when it’s X-Treme Rules, V-Man!”
O. Bay stutter steps back into the corner, but remains on his feet. Cent follows him in and lays a series of chops straight into the rookie cop’s chest! Rapid woos from the crowd trying to keep up after three chops! Four chops!
Cent snapmares O-Bay out to the center of the ring, then scoots up backwards to the second rope… O-Bay tries to scoop himself back up to a vertical base, still holding on that nightstick.
Cent leaps with a flying double-axe handle…
But O-Bay ducks and catches Cent with a nightstick to the ribs!
The wind rips out of Cent’s lungs as he doubles over… O-Bay lifts up the nightstick and swings it down onto Centy’s back, dropping him to the mat!
Bama: “The damage accumulates, V-Man! Every shot Centy takes is gonna make that fight with Cashe later tonight harder!”
As if hearing Bama’s color commentary and being encouraged to go even harder, O-Bay drags Cent to the corner by his leg… He hoists himself up using the ring ropes and slams his ass down on Cent’s knee! Cent grips his kneepad in tremendous pain… O-Bay straightens the leg and leaps again! Crushing Cent’s right knee!
Vinnie Lane: “Ouch town, Population Centy! Cent’s one of the toughest guys to ever work in this industry, but that knee does not have as much spare cartilage as it used to!”
O-Bay drags Cent away from the ropes and hooks the injured leg! HoloRef counts…
1!
2!!
TH- Cent’s lifts the shoulder, breaking the count!
Cent tries to scramble back defensively… O-Bay is already reeling back with that nightstick…
But Cent blocks, shoving his forearm against O-Bay’s wrist! O-Bay’s grip breaks and the nightstick goes flying into the third row!
Bama: “There ya go! Souvenir for a lucky fan!”
Vinnie Lane: “Or a trip to eBay after the show for some quick cash!”
Before O. Bay can inform the audience what penal code they’d be violating by keeping his nightstick, Cent catches him with a V-Trigger knee to the nose! O. Bay backs up to the ropes… And Cent catches him with a clothesline over the top rope!
O-Bay lands spine-first on the apron (The hardest part of the ring!) then flops onto the padding outside the ring!
O-Bay uneasily ends up on his feet… Grasping at his back after that last shot…
Just in time to catch a sliding baseball kick to the chin from Ol’ Cent!
Vinnie Lane: “Bodacious! O. Bay sure did come in happy… But he also came in a rookie with about 18 years less experience under his belt than Centy.”
Bama: “Shoo’, you ain’ kiddin’, Vin. If the MAGA boy wants to turn this one-around, he’s gonna have to pull some trick out to slow Ol’ Man Cent down a notch or two…”
O. Bay hits the railing back-first… Cent rolls under the bottom rope, just as O. Bay starts walking along the railing to evade his opponent… But he’s been slowed down too much. Cent gets him by the neck and tosses him back under the ropes!
O. Bay rolls back inside the ring… Reaching into his pocket for something… As Cent rolls back into the ring. He mounts O. Bay, grabbing him by the air, looking to secure an arm bar…
But as he does, O. Bay’s arm swings forward! He clasps around Cent’s wrist… one-half of a pair of handcuffs!
Bama: “Ha! A pair of cuffs! That’s the trick O. Bay might need!”
Cent looks down at dangling metal around his wrist… O. Bay tries to clasp the other handcuff around Cent’s wrist… But Cent headbutts O. Bay in his nose, still vulnerable from that earlier V-Trigger! O. Bay collapses backwards onto the mat as Cent leans backwards into the cover…
1!
2!!
THR- NO! O. Bay forces a sholder off the mat!
Cent looks up at the Holoref Dot Gif, asking if the count was slow. Holoref recalibrates his internal clock before every match, a non-negligible error would be impossible.
While Cent is getting a lesson in digital time, O. Bay leans up and secures a wristlock on Cent’s free arm!
Cent reflexively reaches backwards to break his grip… And that’s all the opening O. Bay needs to reach the other side of the handcuffs and close them!
Vinnie Lane: “Major bummer, dude! Cent’s arms are cuffed behind his back!”
Bama: “Bummer for Ol’ Cent, but the MAGA rep just struck gold!”
Cent tries desperately to wriggle his wrist free… But the handcuffs are locked tight! Which is all the opening O.Bay needs to scoop Cent off the ground and flapjack him directly onto his face!
Cent seems surprised and flummoxed, but O. Bay flips Cent onto his back and hooks a leg!
1!
2!!
THR-NOPE! Cent kicks up hard enough to get his handcuffed arms off the mat!
Although as he scoops himself off the mat, O. Bay catches him with a boot to the face… Once! Twice!
Vinnie Lane: “Daaaaaaaaaaamn! Cent is taking a licking in this match! And he’s got a whole nother one later night, win or lose!”
Bama: “Hello, Las Vegas? Yes, I’d like to put a thousand X-Bux on Boots Lichter to win L block…”
Cent is still struggling to find his way back to his feet, still handcuffed… As Boots gets upright, calling for the big finish…
Vinnie Lane: “O. Bay steps back to the ring ropes, looking to make Cent feel that Long Arm of the Law…”
After a few seconds, Cent manages to roll back up to his feet… Cent turns around…
O. Bay bounces backwards off the ropes! He swings…
BUT Centurion ducks!
O. Bay puts the brakes on… As Cent tucks his head under O. Bay’s shoulder…
Vinnie Lane: “Oh man! Without the use of his arms, Cent is looking for that 1000 mile slam! Insane!”
Cent lifts up with his back and heaves O. Bay into the air…
SLAM! O-Bay crashes into the mat right onto his neck!
Cent scrambles backwards into a cover! HoloRef counts…
1!
2!!
O-Bay throws a desperate shoulder…
…
A HALF COUNT AFTER THE THREE!
Winner by Pinfall - Centurion
As soon as the bell rings, Boots Lichter races into the ring from out of nowhere and clobbers Centurion! He outs the boots (ha!) to him and pummels the back of his skull as Cent tries to crawl away, and eventually T-Law jumps in as well.
Team MAGA simply refuse to concede even as the bell continues to ring and all major news outlets confirm Cent is the winner... and they cap things off with a big double team powerbomb in the middle of the ring!
Outside, Father Cheney has wheeled a cart with about ten machines that look like weird ATMs on top of it.
Bama: "What the crap is that, Vinnie? What are these idjits trying to do?"
Vinnie groans.
Vinnie Lane: "Dude... those are voting machines made by Dominion! But what... oh no..."
T-Law pulls Cent's lifeless body onto the top turnbuckle as Cheney wheels the machines nearby and steps aside. Boots Lichter then heads to the apron and waits while T-Law lifts Centurion in a wheelbarrow suplex... Boots hops off and grabs Centurion in a hangman's neckbreaker right down through the machines!
Centurion is left twitching in a pile of sparking machines after the double team assault that I, the unnamed narrator of all XWF matches, am officially titling THE HANGING CHAD.
Vinnie Lane: “Disgusting! These MAGA morons just assaulted Centurion... he might be seriously hurt!”
Bama: “He's got another match tonight too, baby... against Jason Cashe!”
Vinnie Lane: “If he can even make it to the ring!”
A small camera crew hurries down the hall. You can hear yelling and as the camera peers into an open doorway, you quickly see Jason Cashe who seemed livid!
Jason Cashe: "LET HIM SAY THAT SHIT TO MY FACE!"
Josslynn Spencer: "Just calm down! Do you want me to call–"
Seeing the camera crew, Josslynn places her hand on Cashe's chest as if to make him aware of the cameras. He takes notice and erupts forward at the live camera.
Jason Cashe: "WHAT?"
Josslynn Spencer: "Jason, calm down.."
Taking a long, deep breath. Cashe was trying to gain some composure. He was frustrated but he was shoving it down as deep as he could, at least for now.
Jason Cashe: "Sorry. I'm good.."
Looking back at Josslynn, he confirmed his status to her as well.
Jason Cashe: "Really, I'm good!"
Josslynn Spencer: "Good! I'm going to grab a soda. Save it for the ring, ok?"
As she passes him heading towards the door. Josslynn gives Cashe a kiss on the cheek. She excuses herself as she leaves the room and now Cashe was alone with the camera.
Jason Cashe: "That woman.. Tsk, tsk.. She is something, truly my Woo Saah!"
Moving around the room, Cashe picks up a chair. Apparently he had thrashed a few things. Something was bothering him, something set him off.
Jason Cashe: "I'm antsy.. I'm irked! See, I've got plans. I've got things on the stove and the heat is on low. I am slow cooking the potatoes in the pot and as they have boiled, I have had to hold my tongue. Luckily for me? I get to step in a ring tonight!"
Some pride, some excitement filled his voice as he spoke. Something he clearly looked forward to.
Jason Cashe: "Not once but twice I get to go out there and taste the fix of a fiend! Not once but twice I get to stand and beat up these hands with someone's failures and tonight, in my Hometown! I will take out every frustration I have and in doing so, there WILL be a victim.."
Collecting his PWValor Disavowed Championship, he drapes it over a bench before taking a seat next to it. Grabbing his boots, he seems to begin getting ready.
Jason Cashe: "You can leave now.. Go somewhere and play with your dick. Tweet about it."
Backing out of the room to keep Cashe in focus. The camera reenters the hallway before cutting the feed.
Boots Lichter
- vs -
HGH
Boots Lichter walks out to the ring alone amidst a chorus of boos as his music plays.
Vinnie Lane: "Here comes Boots Lichter, who recently knocked off Centurion and Dolly Waters in this tournament!"
Bama: "Boots is on a roll, baby! But he’s coming out here WITHOUT his manager OR his tag pahtna’ cause they’re focused on T Law’s match tonight…but I’m sure Boots is just as good at wrestling without his emotional support!
Vinnie Lane: "Emotional support? Dude, Boots has been using outside interference to cheat in his matches! The fact that he’s on his own tonight might not be a good sign for him."
HGH also walks out to the ring amidst a chorus of boos as his music plays.
Vinnie Lane: "Wow, these fans might be booing HGH even more than they booed Lichter!"
Bama: "These fans are haters, baby! They don’t like anyone that can do greatness in the ring, cause they’re all jealous!
Vinnie Lane: "I’m not sure that’s it, but hey, whatever helps HGH and Boots Lichter go to sleep at night!”
DING! DING! DING!!!
The bell rings and the match is underway. Immediately HGH gets an early advantage, as the 6 and a half foot man is using his 100 pound weight advantage to force Boots Lichter into the corner turnbuckle. Boots is looking to his right and looking to his left for an escape route, but HGH is so big he’s blocking every possible escape route Boots has! Boots feels his back hit the turnbuckle and a look of worry crosses his face.
Bama: "HGH is as big as a Brahma bull, he’s got size and he knows how to use it!”
Vinnie Lane: "Phrasing, dude.”
Then HGH cocks back and fires off a stiff right hand! Boots looks terrified, but he’s able to duck the fist and roll between HGH’s meaty legs! Once Boots is behind HGH he immediately starts running for the opposite ropes. HGH turns around just as Lichter’s body hits the ropes and comes sprinting back towards the corner. Boots is charging full speed at HGH…..only to be swept off his feet by a powerful clothesline from hell! A few moans of pain can be heard as
Lichter’s body slams against the mat. HGH sports a cocky grin and starts jawing at Boots as he casually kicks the prone man a couple of times.
Vinnie Lane: "Boots Lichter did great work to get out of the corner, but running straight back at your bigger opponent may not have been the best follow-up!"
Bama: "HGH is showing Boots who is boss, but if he keeps getting cocky, those fortunes might just change!”
HGH picks up the smaller man and slaps him in the face before irish whipping him against the ropes. Boots once again hits the ropes and comes sprinting back at HGH- but this time HGH picks him up and brings him down with a SPINEBUSTER! The ring shakes after the devastating move! HGH hooks Lichter’s legs and goes for a pin!
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!!!
Boots Lichter gets his shoulder up, but HGH just laughs. HGH says some really mean things to Boots Lichter before slapping Boots in the face a little bit more. The crowd is starting to boo HGH exclusively at this point, as they are clearly getting tired of his games and bullying.
Bama: "HGH is showing off right now, and I love it!”
Vinnie Lane: "HGH needs to be careful- he might just let this one slip away from him if he continues to play these games.”
HGH grabs Boots and picks the smaller man up before roughly throwing him over into the corner. Somehow Lichter’s body lands perfectly against the turnbuckle, with his back on the pads and his arms stretched out along the top ropes running out from the corner. HGH does a little bit of fanfare in the center of the ring, taunting both Boots and the audience to a gratuitous extent. The referee tells HGH to focus on the match, but HGH isn’t concerned at all with the uneducated words of the working-class ref’.
Finally HGH decides to sprint into the corner for a splash of sorts, but Boots Lichter has had plenty of time to recover! Boots rolls out of the way and HGH slams face first into the top turnbuckle….which no longer has a pad on it!
Vinnie Lane: "There’s no pad on that turnbuckle! Look at how bloody Harmon is becoming! He slammed face first into the metal!"
Bama: "Boots must have removed the padding while HGH was gloating…what a genius move!!”
Vinnie Lane: "That’s cheating, Bama!"
Bama: "That’s just strategy! Now, Boots needs to make the most of this opportunity!”
HGH looks dazed and confused as he comes out of the corner with a streak of red running between his eyes. This is the perfect opportunity for Boots Lichter to capitalize, and that’s just what he tries to do! Licher lashes out with a SUPERKICK! HGH dramatically falls to the ground in a pool of red!
Vinnie Lane: "SUPERKICK!"
Bama: "That’s not a superkick!”
Vinnie Lane: "What?"
Bama: "That wasn’t a superkick! That was a this isn’t a superkick! That’s what Boots calls it!”
Vinnie Lane: "...”
Boots is grinning from ear to ear as he rolls HGH over to his back and puts a triumphant foot on the big man’s chest. The referee goes to count the pin!
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!!!
HGH gets his shoulder up just in time! Boots can’t believe it, he’s absolutely shook! Boots starts unloading a series of kicks onto HGH, but after three kicks HGH catches his foot! Boots looks absolutely terrified as he’s unable to get his ankle out of the big man’s grip. HGH sweeps Lichter’s feet from beneath him, and now both men are temporarily flat on the mat. HGH and Boots both scramble to their feet, but HGH is just a split-second quicker because Lichter partially slips on a pool of HGH’s blood! The slightly slower Lichter is treated to a gutkick and an uppercut that gets him all turned around in front of HGH.
That’s when HGH locks in his patented INJECTION SHOT(rolling cutter)! Lichter’s head hits the mat and he looks to be completely out cold!
Vinnie Lane: "THE INJECTION SHOT! THIS ONE MIGHT BE OVER!"
Bama: "I think Boots Lichter is in dreamland right now!”
HGH hooks the limp leg of the KOed Lichter as the referee counts the pin.
1!
2!!
3!!!
Winner by Pinfall - HGH
HGH celebrates in the middle of the ring as a line of red continues to drip down his face. The crowd boo him relentlessly as he leaves the ring and begins walking up the entrance ramp while jawing at the front-row fans.
Vinnie Lane: "What a match! HGH comes away with the hard fought victory, even through dirty tricks and super kicks!!"
Bama: "I think Boots should have brought his brownshirts to this match! Their emotional support clearly helps him!”
Vinnie Lane: "Yeah, those guys do emotional support for Boots. Right. But either way, HGH is coming away with this important victory in the plump pigeon tournament! Let’s get a word from our sponsors!”
Dolly Waters
- vs -
Lord Raab
We return from an advertising break to Vinnie Lane and Bama T manning their usual commentary positions, ready to call more of this exhilarating XWF Anarchy action.
Vinnie Lane: "Well Bama…"
But the mood feels a little ho-hum,
Bama: "I know, baby. The action is about to take an ugly turn."
Vinnie sighs.
Vinnie Lane: "That seems most likely dude. Up next is Lord Raab versus Dolly Waters."
Bama: "What happened to Dolly Waters, baby? Once so promising. Once so full of life. Any more the girl out there looking like a bag of onions, stinking up the ring.”
Vinnie Lane: "It goes without saying that the injuries she sustained last year just haven’t quite healed up. Her last three performances in an XWF ring have been hard to watch."
Bama: "And tonight? Against Lord Rabba-Dabba-Doo, turn your spleen Green Machine? The man who once annihilated our own Sarah Lacklan on this very program?”
Vinnie Lane: "Man, this could get really ugly tonight."
Monster by Skillet plays over the sound system as Lord Raab comes out through the curtain wearing his green and black wrestling trousers with his nickname The Green Disease German Monster on the front of them with Monster Energy logos on the side of his trousers with black gloves on both of his hands and wears a black and green mask and ignores the fans as he goes up the stairs before going in-between the ropes and crouches down in the corner moving backwards and forwards, rubbing his hands and moving his neck around while looking at his opponent with anger in his eyes while waiting for the match to start.
Bama: "Look at the face of Lord Raab, baby! Does he look like he’s worried about his opponent’s well-being tonight? Does he look like he’s concerned about all of her accolades? Does he look like he wants anything other than pain, and suffering for Doll-”
The crowd erupts as Dolly’s music bursts through the speakers, starting up mid-chorus, and cutting off Bama’s tirade. Dolly matches the abrupt start of the theme, by bursting from behind the curtain herself. She looks noticeably more lively, but still a little gimp in her step. Wearing her usual all-black ring gear, she marches to the beat of Ode To Joy, the crowd roaring, her gaze set squarely on the eyes of Lord Raab.
Vinnie Lane: "I’ve seen that look on Dolly’s face before dude. Maybe she’s finally found that spark again."
Dolly doesn’t hesitate, striding all the way to the ring and sliding under the bottom rope, AND LUNGING STRAIGHT FOR LORD RAAB!
Vinnie Lane: "UH OH!"
The bell rings before the soundboard guy is even able to switch off the music, and Dolly has tackled Lord Raab to the mat. She mounts his chest and begins striking Raab in the cheeks and foreheads with her palms with such force that his head begins whiplashing from the mat. Dolly pushes his head down, and lifts her body up into a vertical position for a headstand knee strike!
But Lord Raab evades. He slides up from the canvas, shaking the cobwebs loose and delivering a precise shin kick right into the back of Dolly’s injured knee. She topples over immediately. Dolly’s face twists, but she doesn’t shout. Instead she works hard to absorb the pain and gather herself, but Raab has bounced off from the ropes and plants the half-kneeling Dolly with a running DDT.
Bama: "What was it you were saying again, Vinnie? It didn’t take long, BABY!”
Lord Raab proceeds to deliver a series of knee strikes to Dolly’s head, quickly opening up that old scar she’s worn since Leap of Faith 2021. Dolly topples over but isn’t out, and tries dragging up onto her arms, but an incensed Lord Raab wraps his leg through her bad knee and falls down on her with a perfect looking STF. He wrenches back on Dolly’s neck and bends the leg leaving only her belly touching in the center of the mat. Still Dolly refuses to sound out in agony, though her face tells the story all too well.
Vinnie Lane: "You were right, Bama. Lord Raab is in full control here, and it didn’t take long."
The referee has slid into position, and pleads with Waters asking if she wants to continue. But before she can deny him a second time, Dolly musters some strength from her free leg and pushes up, rolling Raab onto his back and catching him in the temple with a luckily, and perfectly placed elbow strike to the temple. Raab absorbs the blow with ill an regard, and before Dolly can even make it to her feet, Raab is up again, smashing Dolly face first into the mat with a sickening bulldog.
Where we’d think Dolly is done at this point, the young wrestling starlet is already back on her hands trying to crawl back into some sort of defensive position, but the cunning Raab is too quick. He grabs Dolly’s bad leg, lifts it into the air and slams her damaged knee right into the mat. Dolly tries to clutch her knee in a natural reaction- but Raab has gotten ahold of the leg again. And again he slams it with all of his strength into the mat. He repeats this move two more times and now Dolly’s left knee is virtually useless- as if it weren’t already.
Raab lets out a vicious laugh towards the booing Atlanta crowd. He looks down at the mat in confusion to see that Dolly has begun crawling away from the spot where he left her laying. ‘
Vinnie Lane: "She may be taking a beating here tonight, Bama. But this might be the most heart I’ve seen Dolly display in a long time."
Bama: "But a heart don’t mean nothing, baby if it aint got no blood to pump! Look at that gash on Dolly’s head, she’s leaving a red snail trail on the mat for the Green Machine to follow!”
Raab smiles and stalks after Dolly, he grabs the leg to lift her again, but this time Dolly comes up onto her right foot, finding some balance and leaping, and turning mid air. She connects to Raab’s temple again, this time with an impressive enziguri. The crowd goes wild, but Dolly is unable to capitalize. Falling back down near the ropes, she uses them to pull herself up to a vertical position. Dolly stands, putting as little pressure on her left leg as possible as she watches Raab stir to his feet. She takes off with a hobbled run toward him, leaping forward for a shotgun dropkick! But Raab catches her on his shoulders and powers her right back down to the canvass with a nasty sitout power bomb. Dolly’s head whips multiple times and Raab goes for the cover.
Bama: "IT’S OVER HERE, BABY!”
1!
2!!
Dolly kicks out! Raab is livid and immediately turns to scream at the cheering fans. Once he’s got that out of his system, he turns to see Dolly already beginning to recover. This enrages him more. He lifts down grabbing Waters by the throat with a single paw. He brings Dolly to her feet, lifts and…
Vinnie Lane: "CHOKINAT—NO."
As Raab goes for his trademark chokeslam, Dolly sends two elbows into the same temple she’s targeted multiple times now while in mid air. Raab drops Dolly - but only for a moment. Through a blackout rage he snatches Dolly by the throat again, lifts quickly this time and slams her into the mat with the Chokinator!
Vinnie Lane: "Okay, this time it really is over."
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!
Bama: "NO WAY, BAY-BAY!!”
To the surprise of the entire audience, and especially Lord Raab, Dolly kicks out of the chokeslam that sent her body bouncing from the mat. Raab lifts her again, but as she stands, Dolly turns with a fierce spinning backfist, followed by another elbow to Raab’s temple. She sees an opening, hits the ropes and leaps at Raab - AND RIGHT INTO ANOTHER CHOKINATOR!
Raab caught Dolly mid-air as she went for a flying attack and sent her crashing to the mat again. Only this time the impact was so fierce, Dolly bounced all the way to the ropes, falling over the bottom one awkwardly and landing halfway between the ring and the apron.
Vinnie Lane: "Give Dolly Waters some credit here, she’s tried, she’s dug deep, but it seems no matter what she attempts, Raab has an answer. This time it really does appear to be over. That was an ugly fall."
A stunned and annoyed Lord Raab, obviously starting to feel some of the effects from Dolly’s temple strikes, wobbles his way over to the ropes. He reaches through the middle rope and pulls Dolly up by the hair. She’s standing now, out on her feet, blood leaking from her forehead and onto her pale face. Raab keeps a hold of her hair and delivers a nasty knuckle punch to the open gash on her head. But the blow seems to wake Dolly up some. She reaches right back, screaming while grabbing Raab by the ears and headbutting him in that same temple!
His eyes roll back, and it looks like Raab is about to collapse from the force of the headbutt, but luckily he finds himself and keeps ahold of Dolly’s hair. He turns and sends two strong headbutts of his own right back to Dolly’s torn open skull, followed by a roar and a forearm smash to the face. Raab still doesn’t let go and instead climbs up to the middle rope while tucking Dolly’s head under his arm. He steadies his balance now while lifting Dolly’s lite frame and pulls her up vertical while falling back into the ring!
Vinnie Lane: "WHOA DUDE! WHAT A SUPLEX FROM RAAB!"
The two go crashing into the ring and Raab uses his momentum to start rolling on top of Dolly, possibly reay to lift her for a second consecutive suplex- BUT DOLLY CRADLES RAAB TO THE MAT!
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!
Unbelievably, Dolly was able to nearly steal the victory, and even more unbelievably she popped back to her feet. Raab has rolled a couple of feet away and is just getting up to a knee.
Bama: "OH BABY LOOK OUT!!”
RUNNING WATERS!
IS COUNTERED BY RAAB!
Due to the injured left knee, Dolly has to slow the stopping power of her finishing maneuver. Raab sees the running knee strike headed his way just in time and charges forward, gutting Dolly with a devastating spear. Raab leaps up to his feet and flexes his upper body while roaring like a feral animal. Dolly is folded up like an accordion on the mat, gasping for air. The Green Machine wastes no more time, and again lifts Waters up by the throat to her feet, and then into the air. But now he takes off running, Dolly’s legs are kicking desperately, but it’s no use.
Vinnie Lane: "A third Chokinator!"
It’s over.
1!
2!!
3- NO!!!
Somehow, someway! Dolly barely gets a shoulder from the mat. The crowd explodes with a shocked applause! Raab is beside himself, breathing heavily.
Bama: "Raab Said he was looking forward to a fight in two weeks, but it oooks like he’s getting all he asked for right here tonight!!”
Vinnie Lane: "And even still, he’s in prime position here,because despite kicking out there, Dolly is down. All Raab needs to do is capitalize!"
And the raging Green Machine dies just that! He falls down on Dolly wrapping her arms into a triangle around her head for the Lockinator Vise! But Dolly! She drags Raab down by the arm, his temple whips against the mat as she rolls him into her modified cross face. Rolling Waters!
Dolly screeches as she pulls back the hold, but she’s so weak from this grueling contest. Raab is able to muscle out of the hold. Both competitors stand, but Dolly is the one quickly overpowered. A hand to the throat and a series of well placed punches drives her back to the ropes. Though Raab has taken so much damage to the head, and is likely a stiff wind away from being finished himself, Dolly has been unable to capitalize on any success.
Raab is delivering a sickening beating to Waters. Punches to the face, to the ribs, to the gut. She’s out on her feet and falling forward. Raab locks around her arms…
KILLERBUS
Dolly flips over Raabs head!
She lands on her feet, digging deep for ever ounce of strength left in her body and fighting through the agonizing pain in her knee- she charges toward the open ropes!
But Raab is following!
Dolly grits her bloodied teeth and leaps onto the top rope, she springs back, twists in the air…
ODE TO JOY!
Vinnie Lane: "Bama, the springboard European uppercut didn’t land flush!"
Bama: "No it didn’t baby! Instead Dolly’s fist connected right into that temple of Raab’s she’s been targeting all night!”
Raab is out cold. Dolly is completely spent, but crawling through what would be an entire three-count. She drapes an exhausted and lifeless arm over Raab’s chest
1!
2!!
3!!!
Winner by Pinfall - Dolly Waters
Vinnie Lane: "I can't believe it, dude! Dolly pulled it off on one leg!"
Bama: "She sure did! That messed up punch sure did a number on Raab's noggin, she might wanna keep that thing in her arsenal!"
Centurion
- vs -
Jason Cashe
Vinnie Lane: “Welp, folks! We’ve had a tubular show so far, and we’re onto our last Plump Pigeon match of the night!”
Bama: “And it is a doozy, brother… In one corner, you have Jason Cashe! Currently supporting a 2-0 record in the tourney! Not only that, Vin. I went back and checked my records… Cashe is currently undefeated in singles competition on Anarchy!”
Vinnie Lane: “But, if there’s one dude that puts that status at risk, it might be his opponent tonight, XWF Legend Centurion!”
”THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL!”
The hymn-like hum vibrates through the area before Lauren Hill soundfully brings in the chorus. Jason Cashe comes out from the back with Josslynn Spencer holding his hand. His eyes are covered by sunglasses. Looking around the arena at the live audience, his eyes stay hidden behind the shades. Taking a long drag off an air joint, Cashe howls up into the sky, a few fans howl with him. Josslynn gives him a 'good game' slap to the butt and they head down to the ring.
“ON HIS WAY TO THE RING FIRST! From Houston, Tejas by way of Decatur, Georgia. At Six Feet, Weighing 235 Pounds! A Truly Troubled One they call DiOGee.. Jaaaassoooon! CAAAASHE!!”
Stopping as the aisle turns to ringside, Cashe drags a foot creating an imaginary line. This is the line where when passed, the talking stops. Giving Josslynn a kiss, she heads around the ring as Cashe steps into a jog, leaping up on the apron onto his left knee.
Vinnie Lane: “As you just mentioned, Bama, Cashe has been one impressive hombre thus far on Anarchy!”
Bama: “Fer sure, Vin. Cashe has beaten some of the most impressive fellas on the Anarchy roster… Oswald, Wish, Dolly Waters, HGH…”
Vinnie Lane: “A record mucho impressivo! But, he has yet to face Centurion. Multiple time Anarchy champ! XWF Legend!”
Bama: “No doubt, Vin… But it might be under less than ideal circumstances for Cent…”
Cashe stands, ducking under the top rope to enter the ring. Taking off the sunglasses as he enters, he rushes across the ring and launches them deep into the crowd. Growling a roar to the live audience, showing he was ready to scrap.
“AND HIS OPPONENT!”
Centurion's theme fills the arena, receiving a positive reaction from the audience.
Vinnie: “Centy had a very competitive match against O. Bay T-Law, just barely over half-an-hour ago!”
Bama: “No joke, Vin! Do we even know for sure he’s out of those handcuffs?”
…Finally, after a few seconds delay, Centurion walks out onto the ramp and takes a moment to soak in the energy of the love crowd before making his way down the aisle. He waves, showing that his wrists are free.
“From Atlantic City, New Jersey! At Five Foot Nine, Weighing 190 pounds! Centurion!”
Cent makes it to ringside, where he heads towards the steps and walks up them onto the apron. From there, he climbs in the ring and walks past the official on his way to the corner.
Bama: “Phew. Well, if you’re a fan of Ol’ Cent, good on ya. Looks like somebody helped him get out of those cuffs between his first match and now.”
Vinnie Lane: “It could have been Ruby! It wouldn’t be her first time around a pair of handcuffs…”
Bama: “*spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit* Vin-Man! You TRYING to get Me-Too’d again!?! You can’t say those things about people’s… intimate lives on the air, boss!”
Vinnie Lane: “Oh, my bad. Should I not talk about Ruby’s private life as a superhero? I figure she’d have used handcuffs before to detain criminals.”
Bama: “...Never you mind, V-Man.”
The official steps between the two men as they meet in the center of the ring and calls for the bell!
DING! DING! DING!!!
Cent and Cashe do a little bit of circling before the match starts… Cent has a little hobble in his step.
Vinnie Lane: “Cent obviously still dealin’ with some damage dealt by O. Bay in his match earlier tonight! Bama, what do you think Cent has to do if he wants to leave this match with a W?”
Bama: “V-Man, he’s gonna hafta outwrestle Cashe and do it quick. He ain’t gonna pound Cashe unconscious, his opponent’s made of gristle and grit. He’s gonna have to utilize his technical advantage if he wants to be the first man to beat Cashey…”
Cashe starts to close the gap circling… And the two end up in a front facelock…
Cent quickly twists and secures Cashe into a side headlock!
Vinnie Lane: “Gnarly chain wrestling by Cent!”
Cent turns and tries to bring Cashe to the mat with a side headlock takedown… But Cashe resists, putting the brakes on!
With Cent’s back turned to him now, Cashe brings his hands up and claps Cent around the ears! Cent covers the side of his head in great pain!
Bama: “Oof! An ear clap like that can disorient somebody’s sense of balance, their equilibrium… Devastating strike to the senses by Cashe!”
Vinnie Lane: “Huh. I never took you for much of a fight science scholar, Bama. Where’d you learn about ear claps?”
“...An episode of Bill Nye about street fighting.”
Cent tries to shake off that disorienting strike… But not before Cashe reaches forward and wraps Cent in a half-nelson! He goes and heaves Cent onto his back with a sickening thud! Half-nelson side suplex!
Cashe goes for the cover!
1!
2!!
Cent kicks out!
Cashe, standing over Cent, delivers a series of stomps to the face and chest!
Vinnie Lane: “Grody to the max. Cent has taken a lot of damage already tonight, having to play defense is not where he wants to end up in this match.”
Cashe follows up his last stomp by bouncing off the ropes and dropping an extended leg across Cent’s throat! Cent covers his throat, trying to regain air flow, as Cashe drops into a cover again!
1!
2!!
THR-NO! Cent lifts the shoulder again!
Vinnie Lane: “Schweeeeeeet! Cent proving he’s one of the toughest cats in the XWF, taking on double duty tonight!”
Bama: “No doubt, Vin! Don’t forget to add that to the style points column in the Plump Pigeon wins-and-losses record. Oh Wait, there ISN’T one!”
Cashe leans down to pull Cent off the mat, but Cent, in desperation, grabs Cashe’s ankle and drives his shoulder forward into Cashe’s leg! Cashe hits the mat flat on his back! Single-leg takedown!
Vinnie Lane: “Daaaaaaang! One move might be all it takes for the tide to turn here! If Cent can lock in his Fall of Rome!”
With Cashe on his back, Cent tries to scoop Cashe’s free leg to secure the Fall of Rome… But when Cent leans forward to secure the other leg, Cashe leans forward and grapples Cent… Biting down on his forehead! Cent open-palms Cashe in the face to break free of his grip, then backs towards the ropes!
Cashe gathers himself back onto his feet. Cent looks pissed after getting bitten! Cashe shrugs…
Bama: “Oh my, oh my! We said that Cent needs to maintain a technical approach to keep the advantage. He does NOT want to get into a brawl with Cashe!”
Vinnie Lane: “Looking at Centy’s face, though, Bama? I really think he does! Cent is even grumpier than usual out there!”
True Enough, Cent charges forward and delivers a right hook to Cashe’s jaw, which he absorbs. Cashe responds with a winding slap box strike to the temple that shocks Cent’s system! The crowd increases in buzzing excitement watching these two swing wildly!
Cent delivers a standing dropkick to Cashe, which sees Cashe stumble backwards a foot… But he stays on his feet! As Cent gets back upright, Cashe surprises him with three quick snap jabs to the nose! Cent gets rocked back into the corner…
Cashe stays on the offensive, hitting a jab to the face, a shot to the ribs, a slip to the temple. Cent tries to block the strikes, but the unorthodox and non-traditional strikes sap Cent’s energy, eventually pushing him down to against the bottom turnbuckle!
Bama: “Ol’ Boy Cent just found himself in No Man’s Land!”
Cashe sprints back to the opposite corner as Cent lies dazed, gripping the edge of the ring with his hand…! Cashe runs forward! He somersaults, looking for that cannon ball…
But Cent yanks himself out by the apron down to the floor! Cashe’s spine rebounds against the bottom turnbuckle!
Vinnie Lane: “Whoa! Mondo impressive veteran maneuver by Cent, using the ring apron to tug himself out of harm’s way!”
As Cashe grasps his spine, in a metric ton of pain, Cent rolls back inside… And tucks his head under Cashe’s shoulder! He lifts… AND HE HITS IT! 1000 MILE SLAM!
Cashe’s very-recently aggravated spine hits the canvas WITH AUTHORITY! Cent hooks the leg! The official counts…
1!
2!!
THRE-NO! SOMEHOW, SOME WAY CASHE KICKS OUT!
Vinnie Lane: “Radical offensive onslaught by Cent! He was inches away from striking the first L against Jason Cashe!”
Bama: “But ain’t nobody keep track of 2-counts, Vin! All that goes in the history books is that 3! And Cashe is a hard, hard man to put down for three!”
Cent, obviously battered and bruised, tries to regain a vertical base, but is slowed by the amount of damage he’s taken over the course of the night… He and Cashe end up on their feet at about the same time!
Cent reels back, and delivers a knife-edge chop across Cashe’s chest. Cashe stays on his feet, then tags Cent with a right hook. Cent bounces against the ropes, legs shaky… But he also stays upright!
Cent delivers another thunderous chop… And Cashe… CASHE SPITS IN CENT’S FACE!
The crowd screams! Things are getting heated here!
Cent checks the new wet spot on his cheek, like, ‘Did that really just happen?’. Cashe stands their jacking his jaw for a second, daring Cent to do something about it!
Vinnie Lane: “Cashe just parted with some spit! And Cent does not look happy about it!”
Bama: “Pretty sure that’s how you get the COVID! Smart long-term strategy by Cashe, knowing that Cent’s senior status makes him particularly vulnerable to such things!”
Cent… Cent leaps onto Cashe, swinging wildly with right hand after right hand.
Vinnie Lane: “Daaaaaaang part two! Cent is already not the happiest camper, but that really pissed him off!”
Cashe gets backed up to the corner, with Cent delivering punch after punch to the temple… Eventually, Cashe gets the wherewithal to reverse it, spinning himself and Cent around until Centy is backed up. Cashe hits Cent a couple of times in the skull, rocking the former Anarchy champ… But Cent drives him backwards with a throat strike!
Cashe, air driven out of esophagus, back-pedals a couple steps…
Cent runs out of the corner, face-first! He springs forward with a leaping headbutt!
…
AND CASHE MEETS HIM HEAD-ON! The men collide scalp-to-scalp! Cent collapses face-first onto the mat! Cashe… Cashe’s legs are all wiggly… He tries to remain on his feet…
But finally, his knees seem to jellify and he flops onto his back!
Vinnie Lane: “Daaaaaaaaang Three: Return of the Dang! Pretty sure being on either end of that head-to-head connection would be a knockout blow for most anybody, Bama!”
Bama: “Damn straight!”
The crowd woos, electrified as the official starts a 10-count…
1…
2…
Cent rolls toward the ropes… Cashe is shaking his head, clearing cobwebs..
3…
4…
Cent grips onto the bottom rope, trying to tug himself back onto his feet. Cashe sits up, back off the ground… But still seems unsure which way is up…
5…
6…
Cent pulls himself tall enough to reach the middle rope and is still pulling… Cashe is up on one knee…
7…
8…
Cent finally pulls himself to the top rope and back to a vertical base… Just as Cashe, on wobbly legs, reaches his feet as well!
Cent clings onto the ropes… And eventually Cashe goes for the opposite ropes, looking around trying to shake off that headbutt. The crowd applauds, glad that this one is going for at least a little longer!
Cashe and Cent release the ropes around the same time…
Cent regains his balance first… He lunges at Cashe…
But Cashe tugs down the bottom rope! Cent goes up-and… Not quite over! He gets a little tangled on the top rope!
Bama: “Cent clearly ain’t got much fuel in the tank! Normally he’d have the agility to fly up and over. The mind might be willing, but the body ain’!”
Cent ends up back on his feet inside the ring… Just as Cashe bounces off the ropes… He comes back to Cent and…
THWACK! A sickening elbow across the side of Cent’s skull drops him to the mat! MARK OF JASON!
Vinnie Lane: “CRAP! That elbow is DEADLY!”
Cent drops flops, full feet over his head… Cashe leans down and rolls his opponent over onto his back…
The official counts…
1!
2!!
3!!!
Winner by Pinfall - Jason Cashe
Cashe gets back up on his feet, lifting his arms triumphantly! Cent counts arena lights, semi-conscious on the mat…
Vinnie: “As always, a well-fought match by Cent, he just couldn't overcome the assault he endured earlier tonight! Truly worthy of his status as an XWF Legend. But the Jason Cashe train rolls on, unbeaten and leading the L block in the Plump Pigeon!”
“Right as night, V-Man! Cashe moves up to 3-0, Cent goes down to 1-2 in the L block! But, we’re still young in this ol’ tourney! Literally anything can happen from here! But don't forget, Cashe's got to go into tonight's main event too!”[/align]
The camera goes backstage, where we find The Golden Goddess Lexi Gold walking down the hallway alone. The crowd cheers on upon seeing her. She was all smiles tonight in support of her boyfriend, wearing an Iced blue strappy dress with matching heels. Eventually, she found her way to Elijah's locker room. She slowly opened the door, walked up to him and gave him a kiss, then crossed her arms and looked at him as they both stood there.
“Hey, babe. How are you feeling? I know things aren't the same for you after you lost your Anarchy Championship, but I believe you will get it back around your waist sooner rather than later. I have faith in you, but as far as tonight goes, you have a tag match to look forward to. You finally get to team with Cashe. I think the world, including myself, have all been waiting to see this happen.”
”You know what, my beautiful queen, you are ABSOLUTELY correct! At some point down the road, I will regain the Anarchy Championship that I lost, to which I have no one to blame other than myself. But at this point in time, I have to turn my attention to the tag team action with Jason Cashe. I have explicit instructions from Mister Page to make sure things go off without a hitch, so I anticipate walking away with a victory under our belts tonight!”
“I would expect nothing less from you and Cashe. He and I may have had a rough patch in the past, but people change. I have changed, and I'm so glad I'm not that bitter person I once was. You helped me open my eyes and for that I thank you, but tonight isn't about me. It's about you going out there and proving you can be successful with or without gold to your name. I am not familiar with your opponent's history other than what you told me regarding Latina Submission Mission, but I do know that they should not underestimate you.”
She brushes her hair out of her head and nods her head confidently.
”As much as I’d love to get revenge on LSM from March Madness and prove to her partner that calling yourself a goddess doesn’t mean shit until you prove it in the ring, I’m focused specifically on me and Cashe working as a unit, being fluid with our teamwork and being on the same page from start to finish. So for now, the process is just as important as the result.”
“Have you spoken to Cashe yet? You know, just to make sure things go smoothly with you two. I'm not saying I don't trust the guy, but after what happened on the last Madness show, I don't want to risk things going unplanned.”
”We talked while in Hawaii for you and his girl on Madness, plus we reviewed things earlier today… he’s a hundred percent ready to go. Don’t you worry about a thing, my love.”
“Good. That's what I like to hear. I have to go get my makeup done now. Let's meet back here later, and we can discuss more things regarding the match.”
Lexi goes to turn for the door, but Elijah grabs her by the arm and turns her back towards him.
”Two things: you are too beautiful to require makeup, and it better be a woman working the makeup chair… or there’s going to be some fucking trouble.”
“My king, you have nothing to worry about. You just stay put until I return.”
She blows him a kiss and heads towards the door and leaves his locker room, heading to get her makeup done, excited to be at ringside cheering him on once again.
Elijah Martin & Jason Cashe
- vs -
Latina Submission Machina & "La Reina" Daniela Raye-Weathers Tag Match Rules!
1 RP per Team
Referee: Ari Silverstein
The lights on the entrance way go dark as "Blueprint 2" by Jay-Z begins... as the song reaches the 21-second mark and the beat drops, an explosion is heard and the stage lighting comes back up, revealing Elijah Martin and Jason Cashe standing at the top of the entrance way. After about ten seconds of standing still to take in the crowd in the arena, The pair casually makes their way to the ring along with Lexi Gold, the gorgeous significant other of Elijah Martin, with the two men yelling some random things at the crowd on the way.
They walk around to the hard cam side of the ring and hop onto the apron towards the end of the first verse of the song. When the song transitions into the chorus with the beat drop at the 1:25 mark, Martin raises both arms in the air and yells "I'M THE KING, MOTHAFUCKAS!" After a couple of seconds taking in the mix of cheers and boos, Martin steps into the ring and just paces around a couple of times before stopping at his corner and taking an ass bump to sit against the bottom turnbuckle. Lexi leans through the ropes to give Martin a peck on the cheek as Cashe leans against the ropes nearby and waits with a smirk.
Vinnie Lane: "Both of these dudes are working under the banner of CCPE, a conglomerate of some of the toughest SOBs in the wrestling business!"
Bama: "Ol' Chris Page sure has assembled himself a group of winners"!
As soon as LSM's theme music hits the speakers the crowd starts cheering for their favorita luchadora. As the bass bumps through the arena the crowd chants along to the music. A spectacle of green and red pyrotechnics shoot up twenty five feet from the entrance platform. A complimentary arrangement of pyro shoots up through the four turnbuckles of the ring.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Who's this?
Latina Submission Machina pops out onto the entrance ramp alongside an additional burst of pyrotechnic fireworks, with her partner for the evening - "La Reina" Daniela Raye-Weathers - by her side. The crowd pops hard for the Anarchy Champion as she holds the belt up high over her head.
Mach-ina Mach-ina!
The masked luchadora bounces around just outside the tunnel for a moment before flinging the championship belt over her shoulder. She flings her red hair to the side as she starts walking down the ramp with her partner. They give out a few high fives and exchanges a few courtesies with some of the front-row fans on her way down to the ring. The crowd begins to clap along to the beat of the theme music as LSM and La Reina near the squared circle.
Latina Submission Machina slides beneath the ropes to great applause from the crowd as La Reina flips over top of them. LSM hands her championship belt over to the referee for safekeeping before she starts pumping up the crowd to cheer louder. Moments later Latina Submission Machina quickly breaks away and starts running the ropes of the ring, testing out the squared circle and getting a feel for it's qualities. Content with its fitness, the luchadora grabs a hold of the ropes and comes to a controlled halt. She turns to the referee and tells them she's ready to go. The luchadoras head to their corner as instructed and begin reveling in the applause of the fans.
Vinnie Lane: "And here's the Anarchy Champ and her partner La Reina! A couple of Latina baddies who both looks ready to take care of some business here tonight!"
Bama: "You just don't mess with Spanish girls when jewelry is on the line, boss!"
Vinnie Lane: "Dude... come on..."
DING! DING! DING!!!
The bell rings and the Main Event is under way!
It begins with LSM vs. Martin, a rematch from the Pay Per View. Martin is hot about the result and explodes out of the blocks, knocking LSM down with a short-arm clothesline. He whips LSM into the corner and pursues there, nailing a bunch of knife edge chops. He is amped up as he whips her into the other turnbuckle running boot to the face. LSM crumbles. He turns and looks at his partner Cashe, who seems amused, and signals for him to continue. He picks up the Anarchy Champion by the hair and arm drags her into the middle of the ring, and she pops into a sitting position. He then puts a knee into her back and locks in a sleeper.
Bama: "Elijah Martin is pissed about losing his title in Tokyo!"
Vinnie Lane: "Wouldn't you be, dude?"
LSM is trying to wiggle out and get to her feet. He locks it in tighter, and she fights it harder. She is able to get to her feet, him still holding firm, as she begins to kick back at his shins to try to break him off. She is twisted around, his back to her front, but still has her arms locked. He nails a sit down face buster, flattening LSM as the crowd roars. They are invested in this match. He pops up and tags Cashe. Picking her up, he throws her into the corner as Cashe holds her. A couple hard chops before he steps through the ropes and allows his partner to continue. La Reina is leaning over the ropes now, almost begging for a tag.
LSM is in a bad way as Cashe goes old school, hitting her with an entire series of Jab, Bodyshot and Slap Combos. LSM goes to cover up and Cashe lays her out with a Russian Leg Sweep. It has been all Martin and Cashe early on. He doesn't pin her, however.
Picking her up by the hair he delivers a Half Nelson Side Suplex. Now he covers.
1!
2!!
The Anarchy Champ gets a shoulder up!
Bama: "It has been all Martin and Cashe so far. LSM and La Reina are in a bad way here."
Vinnie Lane: "But their outfits are adorable!"
LSM is stirring as Cashe gets her back up. He muscles her against the ropes, trying to out-power her to establish his dominance. He sits her on the middle rope, and is signaling for a suplex. He is trying to put the match away early.
LSM is fighting back, not letting him get in position.
She then uses her legs to pop up above him, onto the top rope. She locks her legs around his head. He grabs her hips and looks like he is going to powerbomb her from the top but she is able to use her speed and his fatigue from having a match previously to make the first move.
Hurricarana from the top!
Both are down but LSM wills herself to the corner to make the tag. She is able to get to La Reina just as Cashe is able to get to Elijah. The fresh La Reina explodes into the ring, hitting a drop kick on Elijah and coming back off the ropes with a springboard cross body into the cover.
1!
2!!
Martin pops out!
La Reina comes off the ropes with a moonsault and another quick cover.
1!
2!!
Again a shoulder up!
The crowd begins to buzz as Jenny Myst suddenly shows on the entrance ramp. None of the competitors in the ring seem to notice her, and she looks at the crowd...left....then right....and giggles. She then proceeds to skip down the ramp way.
Bama: What the hell is she doing out here?!
Vinnie Lane: "She wanted an up close and personal view of the best wrestling action in the world LIVE on XWF TV!"
Bama: "Just had to fit that cheap plug in there didn't ya?"
La Reina is reaching for the tag again as Cashe, exhausted, has slowed the match down with another sleeper hold on LSM.
Jenny skips down to the side of the ring and around to where the announce table is.
LSM is back to her feet, Cashe still hanging on. He knees her in the back of the knee, to take her back down to one knee. She reaches out for La Reina again. Martin is also asking for a tag. None of them seem to even notice Jenny, still.
Bama: "She is making her way over here, boss."
Vinnie Lane: "Slide over!"
In the ring, LSM breaks the sleeper by sliding underneath the tired Cashe. She hits a standing drop kick, taking him to his back. She rolls over and tags La Reina.
Cashe is reaching for Martin, but La Reina grabs his leg and locks in an STF!
Jenny doesn't sit at the announce table but rather rips the Anarchy Title away from the time keeper. Her ferocious look turns to eurphoria when she holds it, petting it like the head of a doll.
In the ring, Cashe gets to the ropes, forcing the hold to be broken. La Reina waits the four seconds, and breaks.
Cashe uses the ropes to help himself stand up.
Martin is reaching for a tag.
LSM slaps La Reina in the back and climbs to the top rope. She flies off the top with a missle drop kick, planting Cashe and sending him tumbling outside the ring.
She pops up and drills Martin with a sharp right hand, knocking him back, but he uses the ropes to hold on. LSM comes off the ropes and is about to knock him outside the ring.
Jenny pulls Martin off the apron at the last second, just before LSM can make contact. She smiles at her, then hauls off and decks Martin. Ash Quinn is now off the apron and rolls Cashe back into the ring. Jenny is in the ring now after running all the way to the other side, positioned behind Cashe. She is gonna hit him with the belt!
LSM turns around to Jenny charging with the belt, pulling up at the last moment before hitting Cashe. He puts his arms up to shield himself, and LSM rolls him up with a small package.
1!
2!!
3!!!
Winners by Pinfall - LSM and La Reina
Bama: "Jenny just cost Cashe and Martin this match! What the hell!"
Vinnie Lane: "And they broke Jason Cashe's unbeaten streak on Anarchy in the process! I'm willing to bet the ATLien is gonna have a lot to say about that!"
Jenny drops the belt in the center of the ring and rolls out. Her and Ash walk backwards up the ramp. LSM picks up her belt, and Jenny grins, winking at her.
Vinnie Lane: "Well we used every drop of time on this one folks, we've got to get going... but you can BET the next time you see Anarchy on the airwaves we'll have some answers for what just happened!"
Bama: "I still don't even understand the opener!"
Vinnie Lane: "Yeah dude, you might never get it. But that doesn't matter! For Bama and me, we're off! Goodnight XWF Anarchy fans!"
Bama: "Like was Soldier a baby or was he a big ol' turd?"
Vinnie LANE: "GOODNIGHT!"
Anarchy fades from the screen.
SPECIAL THANKS:
Mark Flynn
Jenny Myst
Sarah Lacklan
Jason Cashe
Charlie Nickles
Lexi Gold
Dolly Waters
Vita Valenteen
XWF FanBase: The IWC (gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)
"You need to get refs that mind their goddamn fucking business again or change the rules on the fucking fly! Chaz was obviously bought by Vita! How many refs have try to do what Chaz did?
NONE! Because they knew better!
Chaz has reffed for several of my matches and now that Vita is on an undefeated streak, for some goddamn reason, Chaz gets ballsy with me?!
I want an investigation into Chaz. Deep dive from head to toe of their financials and people they've talked to!
Because something smells fishy here, and I'm not talking about Vita's vampire vag!"
The following 1 user Likes Mr. Oz's post:1 user Likes Mr. Oz's post "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane (04-11-2022)
(04-10-2022, 10:11 PM)Money Oswald Said: "I want an investigation into Chaz. Deep dive from head to toe of their financials and people they've talked to!"
"Shorty! A totes legit independent investigation which in no way is associated with me came back with the results that nothing craxy OR fishy occured with Chaz. Thank you for your participation, though 😊
(04-10-2022, 10:11 PM)Money Oswald Said: "I want an investigation into Chaz. Deep dive from head to toe of their financials and people they've talked to!"
"Shorty! A totes legit independent investigation which in no way is associated with me came back with the results that nothing craxy OR fishy occured with Chaz. Thank you for your participation, though 😊
1x Anarchy Champion
1x Xtreme Champion
2x Television Champion
1x Lord Of Violence (March 2022)
2x Tag Team Champion
2x Freestyle Champion
3x Heavy Metalweight Champion
1x Federweight Champion
24/7 Briefcase Winner - March 2019
2019 Tweener Of The Year
XWF FanBase: The IWC (gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)
(04-10-2022, 10:11 PM)Money Oswald Said: "I want an investigation into Chaz. Deep dive from head to toe of their financials and people they've talked to!"
"Shorty! A totes legit independent investigation which in no way is associated with me came back with the results that nothing craxy OR fishy occured with Chaz. Thank you for your participation, though 😊
"You didn't want me in the tournament to begin with, Little Lackey. Otherwise you would've had me in the tournament instead of Barney. Until this fucking match, Chaz has never had the balls to get in my face like they did during my match! You and Vita are tight. You have all the reasons to see me lose and make it seem legitimate.
I demand either a rematch or you give us a tie. Can call it a Bye in the tournament if you want. But either I fight Vita again, or we tie. Because there no reason for Chaz to finally grow some balls, unless it's to protect Vita's fucking undefeated streak!"
Quote:Sarah: ”AS I WAS SAYING. Listen, Shorty, I normally don’t put up with people succeeding by jumping someone from behind. Sers legit, I have gone on and ON about how shitty it is when someone gets a title match or something simply because they attacked someone outside of a match, or something. LAAAAAAZY booking, you might say. But you? And your attack on Barney and GH last week?”
She smiles at the hologram.
Sarah: ”Well played, Sir. I wanted you in MY tournament in the first place! Got get ‘em, Short Stuff!”
She goes to clasp him on the shoulder but, again, hologram. She sighs as Oswald instructs his proxy to keep going again, silent on the entire matter for now. As he leaves, she looks down and sees the pained faces of Da Bing Bong Twinzz, and sighs even harder.
Now quit making yourself look like Cashe after being told 'no u' and get ready for your next match...whatever it is. Chin up, Short Round 😊
(04-10-2022, 10:11 PM)Money Oswald Said: "I want an investigation into Chaz. Deep dive from head to toe of their financials and people they've talked to!"
"Shorty! A totes legit independent investigation which in no way is associated with me came back with the results that nothing craxy OR fishy occured with Chaz. Thank you for your participation, though 😊
"You didn't want me in the tournament to begin with, Little Lackey. Otherwise you would've had me in the tournament instead of Barney. Until this fucking match, Chaz has never had the balls to get in my face like they did during my match! You and Vita are tight. You have all the reasons to see me lose and make it seem legitimate.
I demand either a rematch or you give us a tie. Can call it a Bye in the tournament if you want. But either I fight Vita again, or we tie. Because there no reason for Chaz to finally grow some balls, unless it's to protect Vita's fucking undefeated streak!"
YOU'RE the one who hit Chaz, what exactly are you crying about? Do you think you could have won had you not throw a totally predictable tantrum!? Maybe... Show up at the April 30th Savage and maybe we find out?
1x Anarchy Champion
1x Xtreme Champion
2x Television Champion
1x Lord Of Violence (March 2022)
2x Tag Team Champion
2x Freestyle Champion
3x Heavy Metalweight Champion
1x Federweight Champion
24/7 Briefcase Winner - March 2019
2019 Tweener Of The Year
XWF FanBase: The IWC (gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)
Quote:Sarah: ”AS I WAS SAYING. Listen, Shorty, I normally don’t put up with people succeeding by jumping someone from behind. Sers legit, I have gone on and ON about how shitty it is when someone gets a title match or something simply because they attacked someone outside of a match, or something. LAAAAAAZY booking, you might say. But you? And your attack on Barney and GH last week?”
She smiles at the hologram.
Sarah: ”Well played, Sir. I wanted you in MY tournament in the first place! Got get ‘em, Short Stuff!”
She goes to clasp him on the shoulder but, again, hologram. She sighs as Oswald instructs his proxy to keep going again, silent on the entire matter for now. As he leaves, she looks down and sees the pained faces of Da Bing Bong Twinzz, and sighs even harder.
Now quit making yourself look like Cashe after being told 'no u' and get ready for your next match...whatever it is. Chin up, Short Round 😊
"You booked the tournament to begin with, Miss Lackluster. You chose to put BARNEY on the show. You gave other people spots except the one person in the roster that anyone actually gives a fuck about.
I bring in ratings! With or without the title, I make Anarchy THE must see show in the entire XWF! And yet you put BARNEY in the tournament, but not me?
Yet you want me to believe that you wanted me in the tournament to begin with, huh? Lying ass bitch."
If you want to bring up inconsistencies, YOU also tried to attack me from behind prematch.
#BaddiesCryingAboutBeingTreatedBadly
1x Anarchy Champion
1x Xtreme Champion
2x Television Champion
1x Lord Of Violence (March 2022)
2x Tag Team Champion
2x Freestyle Champion
3x Heavy Metalweight Champion
1x Federweight Champion
24/7 Briefcase Winner - March 2019
2019 Tweener Of The Year
XWF FanBase: The IWC (gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)
(04-11-2022, 01:30 PM)Vita Frickin Valenteen Said: If you want to bring up inconsistencies, YOU also tried to attack me from behind prematch.
#BaddiesCryingAboutBeingTreatedBadly
"You could've done the same thing, but you paid off Chaz, so of course you didn't need to do anything like I did. You knew that this match was in your pocket because the very official was busy counting the loose change you shove inside your pretty pink princess pocket. I do some underhanded shit, don't get me wrong, but not once have I ever had to resort to bribing an official to do something they've never done before, in order to win my matches. I lose on my own power or I win.
I'll cheat if I have to, but you're damned well and good in thinking that my version of cheating, is because I touched something with my hands or feet and used my body as an extension of the foreign object. Throwing stairs, chairs, tables, briefcases, ladders, you name it, I'll throw it or kick it straight at your fucking face.
But I will NEVER resort to bribing a ref. Because that kind of behavior is for managers, valets and announcers!"
Find some evidence and we can talk, but you won't, because I totally didn't. If I wanted to play dirty, I'd have taken the offer to join BOB. The offer that I got even before you did. 😂 FYI, I seem to recall Theo disciplining Chaz Bobo for cheating for BOB at one point. Maybe I should open a counter investigation on the possibility of BOB trying to frame me again!
1x Anarchy Champion
1x Xtreme Champion
2x Television Champion
1x Lord Of Violence (March 2022)
2x Tag Team Champion
2x Freestyle Champion
3x Heavy Metalweight Champion
1x Federweight Champion
24/7 Briefcase Winner - March 2019
2019 Tweener Of The Year
XWF FanBase: The IWC (gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)
Find some evidence and we can talk, but you won't, because I totally didn't. If I wanted to play dirty, I'd have taken the offer to join BOB. The offer that I got even before you did. 😂 FYI, I seem to recall Theo disciplining Chaz Bobo for cheating for BOB at one point. Maybe I should open a counter investigation on the possibility of BOB trying to frame me again!
"I may be part of BOB, but not a single fucking time did Chaz have to do to my opponents that they did for you. I never once will or ever, bribe an official to cheat on my behalf, when my own two goddamn hands are good enough.
You know you're not as talented as me, Vita. You were about to lose the match and you had Chaz in your fucking pocket because they need to look like they're not harboring BOB favoritism anymore, but instead they overcorrected their wrongs, and cost me a match because you bribed Chaz.
I will find out what the hell you bribed him with, and I will make sure that this shit comes out into the light of day for all to see, so that you realize that there's a difference between cheating, and making someone else do your dirty work for you."
Find some evidence and we can talk, but you won't, because I totally didn't. If I wanted to play dirty, I'd have taken the offer to join BOB. The offer that I got even before you did. 😂 FYI, I seem to recall Theo disciplining Chaz Bobo for cheating for BOB at one point. Maybe I should open a counter investigation on the possibility of BOB trying to frame me again!
"VITA BRIBED THE REF! SHE HAD TO!"
"Todd, roll the clips!"
Todd ques up EVERY moment Chaz Bobo had in this match!
*Oswald drops the chair and falls to the mat as Chaz Bobo calls for the bell.
*Vita pushes up to her feet, but Oswald rushes in with a blinding big boot! Vita crashes to the mat in a lump, but Oswald grabs her by the hair and pulls her to her feet as Chaz Bobo issues a warning on the hair-pulling!
*Oswald is livid! He jumps to his feet and argues with Chaz Bobo and doesn't even see Vita coming in with the roll-up!
*SHE IS close, in fact, she's SO close that Chaz Bobo notices one of the completely and totally unconscious vampire's feet is positioned directly under the bottom rope
"ROPEBREAK!"
Bama: "BULLSHIT!"
Vinnie Lane: "Her foot is under the ropes Bama! That's a good call from senior official Chaz Bobo!"
*Oswald releases the hold and stomps to his feet, getting right up in the face of Chaz Bobo! Chaz doesn't back down and argues with Oswald, even going so far as to poke Ozzy in the chest just to make sure that he understands WHO is in charge here!
Vinnie Lane: "Oh! Oswald doesn't look too happy about Chaz Bobo pecking his chest!"
Bama: "As he damn well shouldn't be! Lane, why are you officials assaulting the talent!"
Speaking of assault, Oswald hauls off and blasts Chaz Bobo with a HUGE Big Boot knocking the poor son of a bitch right out of his shoes!
Vinnie Lane: "Oswald just attacked the official! He just blew the match!"
Oswald continues to lay a beating on Chaz Bobo as security and the referee squad clear the locker room to restore order! While all of this is going on, Mika Hunt discusses the decision with the ringside officials before it is announced to the live crowd.
WINNER VIA DQ - VITA VALENTEEN!
"Sorry, but your argument doesn't hold any water, and every time you open your mouth, you expose just how untalented and idiotic you are. The offer is still open for a rematch! Todd, help Baby Huey out!"
1x Anarchy Champion
1x Xtreme Champion
2x Television Champion
1x Lord Of Violence (March 2022)
2x Tag Team Champion
2x Freestyle Champion
3x Heavy Metalweight Champion
1x Federweight Champion
24/7 Briefcase Winner - March 2019
2019 Tweener Of The Year
(04-11-2022, 01:24 PM)Money Oswald Said: With or without the title, I make Anarchy THE must see show
It would specifically have to be without, right? Unless I'm missing something loco?
3x Freestyle Champion
1x Billion Dollar Champion
2x Anarchy Champion
The following 2 users Like Latina Submission Machina's post:2 users Like Latina Submission Machina's post Unknown Soldier (04-11-2022), Vita Frickin Valenteen (04-11-2022)
XWF FanBase: The IWC (gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)
"My argument still holds water. Because you can't deny the fact that Chaz, who normally doesn't do shit like that, at least not in my matches anyway, decided to get up in my face and start showing balls for once in his goddamn life! And it's during our match?! That's when he decides to fucking get the fortitude to get ballsy with ME?!
And let's all remind you, that HE is the one who fucking started touching ME! I retaliated because at that point, he was no longer a ref, he was going to help Vita, and I was going to take out the trash.
I still ended up getting screwjobbed.
Vita, you can pretend all you goddamn want, but you know for a fact that Chaz, helped you. His actions and my retaliation, would lead you to victory via DQ. Doesn't matter that Mika is the one who said it was a DQ. She only saw a ref getting his ass beat for trying to cheat me out of a win. She didn't see that he's the one who put his hands on me, he's the one who picked a fight with me. He got what he deserved and yet he also got the last laugh, just like you and Lacklan did.
This will forever be known as the Atlanta Screwjob!
Where the higher ups and officials worked with their favored pet in order to screw someone out of what they deserved!"
(04-12-2022, 07:42 AM)Money Oswald Said: "My argument still holds water. Because you can't deny the fact that Chaz, who normally doesn't do shit like that, at least not in my matches anyway, decided to get up in my face and start showing balls for once in his goddamn life! And it's during our match?! That's when he decides to fucking get the fortitude to get ballsy with ME?!
And let's all remind you, that HE is the one who fucking started touching ME! I retaliated because at that point, he was no longer a ref, he was going to help Vita, and I was going to take out the trash.
I still ended up getting screwjobbed.
Vita, you can pretend all you goddamn want, but you know for a fact that Chaz, helped you. His actions and my retaliation, would lead you to victory via DQ. Doesn't matter that Mika is the one who said it was a DQ. She only saw a ref getting his ass beat for trying to cheat me out of a win. She didn't see that he's the one who put his hands on me, he's the one who picked a fight with me. He got what he deserved and yet he also got the last laugh, just like you and Lacklan did.
This will forever be known as the Atlanta Screwjob!
Where the higher ups and officials worked with their favored pet in order to screw someone out of what they deserved!"
Vita sees what Sar did there and decides to give it a try herself!
1x Anarchy Champion
1x Xtreme Champion
2x Television Champion
1x Lord Of Violence (March 2022)
2x Tag Team Champion
2x Freestyle Champion
3x Heavy Metalweight Champion
1x Federweight Champion
24/7 Briefcase Winner - March 2019
2019 Tweener Of The Year
XWF FanBase: The IWC (gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)
(04-12-2022, 07:42 AM)Money Oswald Said: "My argument still holds water. Because you can't deny the fact that Chaz, who normally doesn't do shit like that, at least not in my matches anyway, decided to get up in my face and start showing balls for once in his goddamn life! And it's during our match?! That's when he decides to fucking get the fortitude to get ballsy with ME?!
And let's all remind you, that HE is the one who fucking started touching ME! I retaliated because at that point, he was no longer a ref, he was going to help Vita, and I was going to take out the trash.
I still ended up getting screwjobbed.
Vita, you can pretend all you goddamn want, but you know for a fact that Chaz, helped you. His actions and my retaliation, would lead you to victory via DQ. Doesn't matter that Mika is the one who said it was a DQ. She only saw a ref getting his ass beat for trying to cheat me out of a win. She didn't see that he's the one who put his hands on me, he's the one who picked a fight with me. He got what he deserved and yet he also got the last laugh, just like you and Lacklan did.
This will forever be known as the Atlanta Screwjob!
Where the higher ups and officials worked with their favored pet in order to screw someone out of what they deserved!"
Vita sees what Sar did there and decides to give it a try herself!
1x Anarchy Champion
1x Xtreme Champion
2x Television Champion
1x Lord Of Violence (March 2022)
2x Tag Team Champion
2x Freestyle Champion
3x Heavy Metalweight Champion
1x Federweight Champion
24/7 Briefcase Winner - March 2019
2019 Tweener Of The Year
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