So, it’s Friday, right? And I am BORED out of my MIND! My Beloved is busy working. My Padawan Dolly is finishing up her promotional video that’s gonna murder VV. My bestie Angie is busy flirting with Drew Archyle by way of cat gifs. My OTHER bestie Roxy is at that gross and disgusting tanning salon AGAIN. And its because of THAT boredom that I realized that the "hey, lets talk some shit!" title is currently held by the dude who can only find wins over the likes of a monkey from an island that can't talk, a viking from the past (I think?), and a mini dude in a mask.

Yeah...that's not gotta fly with me. Time to pin this dude.

Here’s the dealio, dud: This business is no longer about muscle-bound jackoffs like you who make your big break in the business by oiling up and serving cocktails at some fabulous party where your server uniform is a Roman military uniform. The business is no longer about 260 pound fatasses who can’t bend over, much less chase down a badass like me. And it’s CERTAINLY no longer about someone with a tongue so swollen that they can barely spit out their cliche catch-phrases and shitty nicknames.

Big D.

“I CALL MYSELF BIG D BECAUSE I’M A FATASS AND MY NAME IS DANIEL ISN’T THAT FUNNY HAHAHAHAHA”

Sweet Baby Jesus, what an embarrassment.

The reality is that while YOU were spending the last decade sitting on the couch and eating Bon Bon’s while taking about that ONE TIME when you won some “world” title in a fed no one remembers or cares about like some weird combination of both Al and Peggy Bundy, the entire business has left your flabby-ass behind. We travel the world while you whorf down your greasy sandwiches. We fight in every style will you keep it simple with some punches and kicks. We tear tendons and break bones while you pick someone up and gently set them down with the Dan Slam. And if you had to face a single of one us instead of the aforementioned collection of dipshits and morons, you’d find yourself staring up at the lights and salivating over your hope that you can get to catering after picking up your minimum wage check at the loser’s window.

I’m here in the XWF because I am DONE with hasbeens and losers like you. I am DONE with this business being full of slothful gluttons who think that giving the BARE MINIMUM is going to cut it. I am DONE with entry-level talent like YOU being considered a “world champion.” And, Christ Almighty, are you and your ilk going to get knocked on your ass when having to face someone like me.

Because I’m the Queen of Anarchy, dearie, and while you cry about holding this title you didn’t deserve in the first place and being disrespected, I’m the one sitting (very!) pretty at the top of the food chain.

wow this fuckin sucked.

G-rated XWF megastar.

(04-12-2019, 05:48 PM)John Blaq Said: DER HER IMMA PUSSY THAT CAN'T STOP BEING A BITCH LONG ENOUGH TO CUT A PROMO IN NEARLY TWO YEARS

How does a promo video murder someone? Does it have a knife? Is it self aware? Will this video haunt me in my dreams and kill me as I sleep?

Oh wait, she’s just going to flex her mean girl muscle again huh?

Hmmm, maybe I’ll check it out after I kick her butt at Savage.

Good luck with your title pursuit!

BUH-BYE!

fuckin bargain bin kid kool trying to flood the place. at least he was good for a chuckle.

G-rated XWF megastar.

(04-12-2019, 06:46 PM)John Blaq Said: fuckin bargain bin kid kool trying to flood the place. at least he was good for a chuckle.

Go ask Lux how such shitty comebacks worked out for him

Until you're ready to put on your Big Girl Panties and cut a promo, don't bother trying to steal some of my shine

(04-12-2019, 06:45 PM)VV Said: How does a promo video murder someone? Does it have a knife? Is it self aware? Will this video haunt me in my dreams and kill me as I sleep?

For those without the benefit of a private school education

ill tell you what, ill cut a promo as soon as you learn how you worthless ass rookie. your shine is about as bright as a flashlight lodged in barney green's asshole

G-rated XWF megastar.

(04-12-2019, 06:58 PM)John Blaq Said: ill tell you what, ill cut a promo as soon as you learn how you worthless ass rookie. your shine is about as bright as a flashlight lodged in barney green's asshole

Nothing says "rookie" like being in my third year and dominating everyone and everything at March Madness to become Queen of the Ring, even making the champ look like a midcard hack by comparison. But I'm sure you already knew that. Sign up to Anarchy or forever remain a pussy bitch

Even a drop out like me knows you have to pin the champ to win. Just sayin’ sweetie!

(04-12-2019, 07:01 PM)Lacklan Said:

(04-12-2019, 06:58 PM)John Blaq Said: ill tell you what, ill cut a promo as soon as you learn how you worthless ass rookie. your shine is about as bright as a flashlight lodged in barney green's asshole

You're right, I'm a stupid fucking rookie who is proud to be on the ROOKIE show.

look i can do shitty video editing too. fucking rook

G-rated XWF megastar.

I know this bitch, she's some psycho who likes to tweet about all her "problems." She hates old people, but likes Trump. Go figure, there's your usual MAGA hypocrisy. You think old people are ugly, but have no problem mindlessly chanting "build that wall" for an old, tub of lard who thinks like you.

You're the Queen of XWF, top of the food chain? Well if that were true, why aren't you the top dog of this company, Universal Champion? If what you state to me isn't "fake news", then why the hell are you challenging ME for this low tier title? Because you ain't shit. Since I got here, you wanna know what I'VE seen of YOU?

I see some snobby ass cunt who acts like the world revolves around her because she's convinced she's so beautiful everything should be handed to her. Well I ain't handing you this title. You think that just because I haven't proven myself in your eyes, that you're better than me? Get out of here with your alternative facts.

You want to hear the truth? I'd tell you, but everytime I see someone you don't feel is worth your time try to make a comment to you, you ignore them and type on your phone about how some noob is on your favorite curling rack....... sorry, THIRD favorite curling rack. Pretentious. You hate noobs, you hate what you call hasbeens, but how do you expect people like that to get better and on your level of they don't try to improve? Because they're near you, something you might find use if, but have no use for THEM, so screw them, am I correct?

I think you're a victim of your own anger, honestly. Immigrants suck, poor people take your hard earned money, and people like me are a waste of space and air. You hate peasants, yet you won't get off your own lazy ass to do a damn thing yourself? No, didn't think so. You're "too good" for that, but not good enough to acknowledge those who do what you can't.

I've heard Trump supporters tell people that feelings don't matter, yet all I see out if you is your whiney feelings. Bitch, piss, and moan about an uber guy being 180 pounds and how he doesn't deserve to be near you?! Drive.......... yourself.......... and please, do us all a favor and be drunk when you do it, just don't kill anyone else besides your dumb ass when ya do.

By the way, remember that Trump, MAGA hypocrisy I mentioned earlier? 180 pound Uber driver doesn't deserve to be near you? Your Supreme Leader is over that for sure, so what does that say about you and the unintelligent crap that spews from your mouth and 'brain.'

I don't know who destroyed your MAGA hat, but I applaud them. Now do me a favor and go back to Twitter where I thankfully don't partake in......

KICK OUT!!!!!!!!!

June 2019 XWF Superstar of the Month
2019 Relentless Fishing Contest Winner
1x XWF World Heavyweight Champion
1x bWo World Heavyweight Champion [despite what Miss Furry or James J. Dildo says]
1x NWF World Heavyweight Champion
2x XWF Xtreme Champion 
2x XWF TV Champion
1x XWF Internet Champion
1x NWF World Tag Team Champion (w/Slim)
1x NWF Xtreme Champion
1x NLCW Slamfest Champion
1x LCW Hardcore Champion
3x WWF X-Division Champion
1x WWF World Tag Team Champion (w/Seth Flash)
1x WWF Dark Champion
1x WWF TV Champion
1x EGW Fury Champion
3x XWF Federweight Champion
4x XWF Heavymetalweight Champion
1x 420* Cruiserweight Champion
2x CMW Hardcore Champion
1x XHW T.V. Champion
1x WXC Hardcore Champion
1x XPW U.S. Champion
1x WLFC Tag Team Champion w/Chance
1x WWC T.V. Champion
1x WWC European Champion
1x WWF 24/7Hardcore Champion
2x WLFC 24/7 Hardcore Champion


pin

D, VV, Blaq... you guys do realize this chick went through an entire tournament of people to become Queen of the XWF, right? That means she DID get off her ass and put in work, working her way through the brackets till she made it to the top, and hey, guess what, she's pinned several champions in her short career, and as for the crown? Look through the record books and you'll see just how prestigious this prize is, how valuable it is. Theo Pryce, John Madison, Alexandra Callaway, there's been a laundry list of people that the three of you WISH were on your level.... but they, along with Sar, are so far past you you can't even see them with a telescope. D....hoping this gurl breaks you in half. Peace out, broski.

(04-12-2019, 07:48 PM)BigD Said: I know this bitch, she's some psycho who likes to tweet about all her "problems." She hates old people, but likes Trump. Go figure, there's your usual MAGA hypocrisy. You think old people are ugly, but have no problem mindlessly chanting "build that wall" for an old, tub of lard who thinks like you.

You're the Queen of XWF, top of the food chain? Well if that were true, why aren't you the top dog of this company, Universal Champion? If what you state to me isn't "fake news", then why the hell are you challenging ME for this low tier title? Because you ain't shit. Since I got here, you wanna know what I'VE seen of YOU?

I see some snobby ass cunt who acts like the world revolves around her because she's convinced she's so beautiful everything should be handed to her. Well I ain't handing you this title. You think that just because I haven't proven myself in your eyes, that you're better than me? Get out of here with your alternative facts.

You want to hear the truth? I'd tell you, but everytime I see someone you don't feel is worth your time try to make a comment to you, you ignore them and type on your phone about how some noob is on your favorite curling rack....... sorry, THIRD favorite curling rack. Pretentious. You hate noobs, you hate what you call hasbeens, but how do you expect people like that to get better and on your level of they don't try to improve? Because they're near you, something you might find use if, but have no use for THEM, so screw them, am I correct?

I think you're a victim of your own anger, honestly. Immigrants suck, poor people take your hard earned money, and people like me are a waste of space and air. You hate peasants, yet you won't get off your own lazy ass to do a damn thing yourself? No, didn't think so. You're "too good" for that, but not good enough to acknowledge those who do what you can't.

I've heard Trump supporters tell people that feelings don't matter, yet all I see out if you is your whiney feelings. Bitch, piss, and moan about an uber guy being 180 pounds and how he doesn't deserve to be near you?! Drive.......... yourself.......... and please, do us all a favor and be drunk when you do it, just don't kill anyone else besides your dumb ass when ya do.

By the way, remember that Trump, MAGA hypocrisy I mentioned earlier? 180 pound Uber driver doesn't deserve to be near you? Your Supreme Leader is over that for sure, so what does that say about you and the unintelligent crap that spews from your mouth and 'brain.'

I don't know who destroyed your MAGA hat, but I applaud them. Now do me a favor and go back to Twitter where I thankfully don't partake in......

KICK OUT!!!!!!!!!

One of the things that I find funny about guys like you is how you get conned into looks. You see my fair face and assume that I expect to be waited upon. You hear how I talk and assume that I feel I’m superior. You hang on my every word yet complain about how I’m all around.

And everything you know is wrong.

Now, I COULD do that whole COPY/PASTE bullshit that everyone around here thinks works, since there are...what...TWELVE things that you said that are completely wrong? Like...ya know...not having a problem with immigrants...or my PERFECT driving skills...or the fact that, while I’m sure you’re all “YOU VOTED FOR TRUMP AND DAT MAKES YOU A BIGOT HAHAHA FAKE NEWS ALTERNATIVE FACTS” while I’m in an interracial, same sex marriage. But I don’t need to do that. Because everyone around here that has been paying attention for the last month knows this little bit of reality:

I AM the top of the mountain.

I AM the Queen of Anarchy.

And while some dipshit named Blaq (“GET IT GUYS MY NAME IS BLAQ AND I’M BLACK AND ITS COOL HAHAHAHA I’M SO FUNNY”) will try to take my shine in order to find relevance, at least he has paid attention to more than a few squibbles and quips. Because while you have been doing your tryhard best with fallacious assumptions from your couch with a beer balanced on your gut and your chest full of donut crumbs, I’ve shown a display of vocal technique from crushing to charming, from classical to innovative, of different colors and flavors, so wide, so full, so varied, that every single “legend” associated with this company has slid their way into my DMs hoping to catch some of that shine.

But I’m sure you already knew that before you opened your mouth, right?

Guess not.

But by all means, continue to make guesses off the surface. Continue to look at skin-deep aspects of personality and assuming that is the core. Continue to be EXACTLY what I said you were: Behind in the times and thinking that promotional skills of the 80’s are going to hack it in this day and age. Continue to be the guy who needs political and racial baiting to get some heat like it was the 70’s and the business is full of sheiks, flag-waving American heroes, and Evil Foreigners. Continue be be relegated to the opening matches so that people can take their piss breaks before important matches happen.

As for me? I’ll be busy holding your championship up high as I walk into the main event of the first Anarchy. I’ll shine it up so that it finally looks decent after having been around your greasy waist, give it some of that shine that VV is so desperate to rub off me, and continue to be the light that even Main looks to in order to find his way.

Enjoy this pin.

(04-12-2019, 07:07 PM)John Blaq Said:

(04-12-2019, 07:01 PM)Lacklan Said:

(04-12-2019, 06:58 PM)John Blaq Said: ill tell you what, ill cut a promo as soon as you learn how you worthless ass rookie. your shine is about as bright as a flashlight lodged in barney green's asshole

You're right, I'm a stupid fucking rookie who is proud to be on the ROOKIE show.

look i can do shitty video editing too. fucking rook

Thanks for proving the point, match-dodging pussy.

(04-12-2019, 08:06 PM)Kid Kool Said: D, VV, Blaq... you guys do realize this chick went through an entire tournament of people to become Queen of the XWF, right? That means she DID get off her ass and put in work, working her way through the brackets till she made it to the top, and hey, guess what, she's pinned several champions in her short career, and as for the crown? Look through the record books and you'll see just how prestigious this prize is, how valuable it is. Theo Pryce, John Madison, Alexandra Callaway, there's been a laundry list of people that the three of you WISH were on your level.... but they, along with Sar, are so far past you you can't even see them with a telescope. D....hoping this gurl breaks you in half. Peace out, broski.

different crown, dipshit

G-rated XWF megastar.

OOC: .... "dipshit"? Dude, this is literally the same crown. The management team even mentioned it. I've been here since 2013, I know what I'm talking about, and regardless, Sara DID run through the gauntlet, and none of those were easy wins.

ooc? what're you a fucking manape or something. its a different crown you stupid fucking rookie

G-rated XWF megastar.

Also, 'John Blaq', ooo such a creative parody of 'John Black'. You should work for my new WSE company, maybe you can job to Drunk Ass Austin Stevens and The Brock. Maybe The Underbaker can make you "rest...in...YEAST"!! XD

the only time i rest in yeast is when i fall asleep with my dick in your mom's nasty puss. fuck outta here dipshit

G-rated XWF megastar.

L
O
L

Hold onto my championship while you walk into the first Anarchy? pa-LEASE. I'm taking this shit with me to Savage.

It's funny, because you stand there trying to deny yourself a bigot by using the good old fashioned 'I have a black friend' defense, but as a white guy who has uttered those idiotic words in his past, I can openly admit it's a racist thing to say. And yes, you're in an interracial marriage, you're attracted to someone, but guess what? Slave owners fucked their slaves at times, so I don't buy that bullshit one bit.

You are a bigot and I'll present you with the facts. You tell ME that I get conned into looks? You're the one who let's things such as looks, or old age, get in the way of happiness. That fat Uber driver could be a good guy, the barista who fucked up your drink could've been having a rough day, too. Maybe they broke a nail, I'm sure that'd DESTROY you.

Do you really think that I'm judging you for a pretty face? News flash. I don't think you're pretty. If I was 5, I'd joke about being you pretty ugly, but I'm not a child, like your ass be actin'.

Lacklan, let me tell you something about being conned by looks...... Take a gander in the ole mirror, I bet you do that alot anyway, wishing my belt was over your shoulder. I see how angry you are and it's because YOU are holding yourself back. If you're truly the person of your credentials, why are you so infuri9by EVERYTHING? If your life is good and you really ARE the best, why don't you just enjoy it? Is it because you know that as impressive as you have been, and I will give you credit it just sucks giving it to a garbage human being, you'll never be THE top? You're always gonna be a few steps down the food chain, feeding the bigger fish. Guess what, Lacklan? In the wild, it pays to have size and you're in MY jungle.

I said a while back that I believe being Federweight Champion makes me one of the top 8 wrestlers in the company and I meant it! And that got under your skin; it's what brought you here to put my reign to an abrupt halt, right? Gotcha. You thought you could dethrone the legendary Big D like I was Kid Kool or something? Get the fuck out of here! I AM one of the top 8 best wrestlers, maybe you'll join me some day. But until that day comes, go back to your phone and cry about how unfair your life is.

Now I'm gonna KICK OUT and you can move on before you embarrass yourself any longer. And that ain't no story, it's the Cold Big D Truth!!!!

June 2019 XWF Superstar of the Month
2019 Relentless Fishing Contest Winner
1x XWF World Heavyweight Champion
1x bWo World Heavyweight Champion [despite what Miss Furry or James J. Dildo says]
1x NWF World Heavyweight Champion
2x XWF Xtreme Champion 
2x XWF TV Champion
1x XWF Internet Champion
1x NWF World Tag Team Champion (w/Slim)
1x NWF Xtreme Champion
1x NLCW Slamfest Champion
1x LCW Hardcore Champion
3x WWF X-Division Champion
1x WWF World Tag Team Champion (w/Seth Flash)
1x WWF Dark Champion
1x WWF TV Champion
1x EGW Fury Champion
3x XWF Federweight Champion
4x XWF Heavymetalweight Champion
1x 420* Cruiserweight Champion
2x CMW Hardcore Champion
1x XHW T.V. Champion
1x WXC Hardcore Champion
1x XPW U.S. Champion
1x WLFC Tag Team Champion w/Chance
1x WWC T.V. Champion
1x WWC European Champion
1x WWF 24/7Hardcore Champion
2x WLFC 24/7 Hardcore Champion


pin

I'm not exactly sure which is more sad about this thread: The fact that you have to make up random shit like me being a bigot and trying to hide it with a marriage (good luck trying to find ANY example or show of proof of your dumbass assertions!) or the fact that you actually put in an LOL while talking smack about the youth and telling me to go jump on the Twitter account I don’t have.

Here's some fun stuff: Holding this championship doesn't make you one of the top eight in this company. Over and again, it is shown and proven in this business that the person makes the belt and not the other way around. But while you have to find your wins over tiny lucha dudes that fall into comas or savages that can't speak more than three words in a row, I'm the one pinning champions and making legends fall to their knees in awe. But by all means, keep thinking that your particularly boring brand of "Welp, MEH was good enough for dad, so it's good enough for me!" is worthy of any note in this company.

Speaking of boring, it should be noted...though you have already admitted to not caring much in the way of truth and facts...that it was not anger that brought me here, but boredom. So while you are jamming your fingers into your phone with such haste and anger to misspell...what...six words? Seven? I’m sitting back and clearing my case of boredom by picking on some putz who is so close to working himself into a shoot that even Blaq and Kid have to sit back and say, “Damn dude, slow down!” But thankfully, my boredom, a boredom matched by many in this company over this championship, is about to cleared away for everyone by the Queen of Anarchy, the revolution herself. Because when that championship is around MY waist, the entire company will take notice. When that championship is around MY waist, every other champion is going to part the waters and cheer my ascension. Because while YOU hold that up high after putting away a man in a coma, while YOU drag it through the mud and make even Kid’s Heavymetalweight look like the shining glory of this business by comparison, I will give it the shine it deserves. And every single person in this company, yourself included, will fall to your knees at my feet, kiss my cute-as-FLAME heels, and THANK me for giving you some relevance beyond the opening act.

So by all means, fall back to your shitty catchphrase that we all roll our eyes at and sit pretty in your den of empty beer cans, tear-soaked sheets, and the oppressive stench of dreams long lost. We’ll see how well that goes for you when trying to kick out of this pin.

I'll tell you one thing about this wonderful morning:

You're going to see the staff of the XWF hand the Federweight Championship over to someone worthy of holding a title known for being the promo belt. Because right now? It's on a guy who can't do research, say create original content, or look beyond the surface. It's on a guy who thinks that “Eh...I did okay once in some pissant small fed...so that's cool?” is totes fine. It's on a guy who doesn't have the stamina to survive even a small blowing of the wind. And unfortunately for him, this Queen of Anarchy is a mistral.

Even if you had the skills and intellect to stand up to me, you don't have the stamina, Danny Boy. You wilt away with time. You snooze while others fly. You “won” this championship while someone was sleeping? Good timing, I suppose, but you'll never defend it as long as true class is around. Because a champion is someone that the entire fed can get behind, but even WITH this around your waist, no one notices it or you. They just see some lazy doughboy stinking up the ring so that fans can get a hotdog or some popcorn.

But that all changes today, dearie. That all changes when everyone realizes that the shining light, the sparkling diamond, of Sarah Lacklan has decided to take the Federweight Championship to Anarchy. Because there, with the entire world watching as the MARQUEE name headlines the debut show, they will see someone truly worthy of this championship. They'll see someone who offers a plethora of content as varied and bright as the tail of the smuggest peacock. They'll see the breath of fresh air and change that is the excellence that I bring. They'll see the person who captures the attention of the masses and inspires children to reach for the stars.

So while you cry about why someone as socially and professionally important as me has decided to look down upon you with “WAHHHHH WHY CAN'T SHE JUST BE HAPPY WITH BEING THE HAWTEST AND MOST SUCCESSFUL QUEEN OF THE RING IN HISTORY?! WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO PICK ON LONELY SAD PATHETIC ME?! WHYYYYYY?!” I will be making that title mean something. While you fill up space in your promos with shitty catchphrases that not even Gilly would use and so mamy failed observations about nothing important to the ring that even Lux and Blackwater are ready to pull you to the side to discuss what matters, I'll be redefining this company.

But I'll keep my light on for you.

WINNER... AND NEEEEEEEW FEDERWEIGHT CHAMPION -LACKLAN!!!!!

OOC Note: Please remember to include pin attempts and kick outs in Federweight post in the future. That part should be the only “story” added to these post.

[quote='Arnold “Chubby” Fletcher' pid='142814'

OOC Note: Please remember to include pin attempts and kick outs in Federweight post in the future. That part should be the only “story” added to these post.
[/quote]

My apologies! After KK's weirdness in that other thread, I had assumed just saying "pinning" would count, but it will NOT be an issue going forward!

It can be confusing and I probably need to clean up the rule descriptions a bit. Something else for my list. In general though the Feder and HMW pins are treated with a lot more leniency than other things since they are just for fun.

You still just cannot STOP talking about me. Should I be paying rent for all this space I'm taking up in your head? Because I refuse to pay more than market rate.

(04-13-2019, 09:06 AM)Lux Said: You still just cannot STOP talking about me. Should I be paying rent for all this space I'm taking up in your head? Because I refuse to pay more than market rate.

new SWEET Windows phone, who dis?

(04-13-2019, 09:27 AM)Lacklan Said:

(04-13-2019, 09:06 AM)Lux Said: You still just cannot STOP talking about me. Should I be paying rent for all this space I'm taking up in your head? Because I refuse to pay more than market rate.

new SWEET Windows phone, who dis?

Donovan Blackwater.

U up?

(04-13-2019, 09:34 AM)Lux Said:

(04-13-2019, 09:27 AM)Lacklan Said:

(04-13-2019, 09:06 AM)Lux Said: You still just cannot STOP talking about me. Should I be paying rent for all this space I'm taking up in your head? Because I refuse to pay more than market rate.

new SWEET Windows phone, who dis?

Donovan Blackwater.

U up?

*pukes in toilet and throws SWEET Windows phone in before flushing*