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X-treme Wrestling Federation » XWF OOC » Out Of Character (OOC) Board
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feed back on Anthony Knucks Scalici first rp
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Vincent Lane Offline
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#4
03-04-2018, 08:36 AM

There, I added it for you. I'm nice.

Anyway, I'd echo Muddy's sentiments above. The grammar is pretty bad, and it makes it hard to read. Also having dialogue buried in there without really denoting who is speaking (unless it's Knucks) can be kind of arduous.

Overall, it's a good first effort. It's better than most "first efforts" that we see, so I think you'll do fine. Once you fiddle with your presentation and come up with a more fleshed out story, I think the character has legs.
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re:feed back on Anthony Knucks Scalici first rp - by Vincent Lane - 03-04-2018, 08:36 AM



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