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Unknown Soldier · **09-24-2016, 02:05 PM**

Soldier kicks out and doesn't bother to walk through every single god damn wrestling move to talk his way through the kick out phase. Here at the SATAN! headquarters we don't have time to walk through every single wrestling move like we were the Bleacher Report. Soldier just kicks out, he just does it with all his super badassery and everything Xtreme and such like he has been for the past five months. In fact, the super bad ass mega demi-demon uses all his mega SATAN! powers and reverses every single fucking hold, lock, move, chair shot, or any other basic kind of wrestling move or semi-hardcore bullshit affair that occurs in WWE with the flick of a wrist. That's right, Soldier can kick out of all this bullshit chair shot and drop kick and minor

wrestling maneuvers delivered by BWP with a mere half chub raised from his demon dick. A half chub, kind of like how you feel about the older version of Salma Hayek when you want to visualize masturbation. I mean, have you seen all the 'Grown Ups' movies? You know, the ones with all the fucking horrible jokes recycled in every single Adam Sandler movie ever made? Well, thankfully the sexy cougar mexican mamasita Salma Hayek was in those movies so you can at least disregard the horrible attempts at humor with her still rocking fifty year old set of tits! Yeah, sure, she used to be way way way WAY fucking hot back in the day and has kind of deteriorated with her old age, but it's still good enough to look at a recent picture of that woman and not get a half chub and get the job done. I mean, we all have to improvise at some point when your internet is disconnected and the only thing you can find in your house is a DVD of the first Grown Ups movie with Salma on the front cover and.......

WELL...

That's about enough of that!

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