Dennis hadn't been refereeing very long at this point. In his mid sixties, Dennis didn't discover wrestling as we know it until later in life. Dennis Knight had stints on Seinfeld, had appeared in the original Space Jam, and was even in that Punisher movie you didn't watch. Dennis became fascinated with wrestling when by chance he saw a naked Michael Graves crying and masturbating into a ham sandwich because he had been chided.

It was the most avant-garde work Dennis Knight had ever seen and he too wept, knowing he'd never be a part of something so deep, so provocative, from a performer who's been a pedophile, a woman, a robot, and the fiercest presence on programming today.

Dennis knew he had to be a part of wrestling. He went through a day of training under Bobby Bourbon for several million dollars, and was certified through some slapdash happenstance at the XWF head offices when they thought he was signing on to compete, not referee. The gaffe completely missed by everyone's heads until Dennis arrived in a black and white striped shirt.

It was at this point Dennis Knight was held responsible by one Vinnie Lane to count all Xtreme Championship pinfalls off XWF scheduled programming. He'd counted all manner of wild scenarios, from Doc threatening to destroy the earth, to Kris Von Bonn's lazy drifts, to even meeting the man who'd inspired him to get into the business, Michael Graves. Dennis kept quiet in his starstruck shyness, but smiled inside at meeting an actor of such magnitude.

Then, one day, Dennis saw something else. A ham sandwich was pinning the Xtreme Champion! Unaware of how, but deep down, Dennis recalled fondly that divine moment he discovered the artistry of professional wrestling. In a flash, he knew he had a chance to work like not just a leader in their field in Michael Graves but also a hell of an artist. Dennis counted the pinfall.

He was swiftly chided.

The pure continuity achieved in forming an understanding of how to undertake the master class of storytelling and outright entertainment offered in any Michael Graves promo made Dennis giddy. And, much to his surprise, ham sandwiches kept appearing on the Xtreme Champion.

Each time Dennis was to be chided.

Today, Dennis is minding his p's and q's. No Ham Sandwich was prepared to pin anyone, ever. He still sat, with Mark Flynn seated less than one foot away from him, staring at him, making sure he doesn't count a pinfall made by a ham sandwich. Dennis looks down, however, avoiding eye contact. Hoping. Waiting. Above both men, an old pair of slacks owned by Michael Graves, nailed to the ceiling with an array of sex toys. The slacks give way, and a sex toy falls beside Mark Flynn. Flynn looks down at whatever caused such a ruckus, and as he does, another toy lands on the chair, breaking it's supports, causing it to collapse. Flynn falls onto his back, and as he does...

...the same rotten and sexually assaulted ham sandwich from all those years ago lands on Mark Flynn. Dennis snaps right into his destiny.

1...


2...

Flynn lifts a shoulder over the ground.

"Oh, what the fuck...?" Flynn swats away the sandwich in utter contempt.

Flynn looks up angrily at the ceiling where the narrator's voice comes from.

"You're telling me this FUCKING sandwich is both YEARS OLD AND has GRAVY'S GRAVY in it?"

...Flynn nearly rage-vomits from this information entering his mind.

"FOR FUCK'S SAKE."

...

"GOD."

...

"DAMMIT." Flynn punts the ham sandwich down the hallway...

He steps over Dennis, who remains on the ground (it's kinda hard to get back up from counting when you're in your sixties...) and heads for the nearest shower, to clean both his body and mind.