OOC Note: 3 ROLE PLAY RULE - 1ST RP MUST BE IN WEEK 1 BUT IF YOU DON'T RP UNTIL WEEK 2 YOU CAN ONLY DO 1 RP THE 2ND WEEK.
WEDNESDAY - 17 - NOVEMBER - 2021
THIS IS...
WEDNESDAY NIGHT WARFARE!!!!
From SMOOTHIE KING ARENA!!!
NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA
"Release me"
The two words from the Public Address system in the arena cause the fans in attendance, already on their feet, to react with disdain and unappreciative shouts. Kat Jones,, badass Cincinnati native of ill repute methodically makes her way to the top of the ramp from the gorilla position. Her black shorts and knee high boots are more characterizing of her facial expression and attitude toward the scathing crowd, than her highly decorative top full of self expression.
"No remnants were ever found of it
Feeling the hot bile
With every fake smile
Though no evidence was ever found
It never went away completely"
Kat walks toward the ring, methodically and without much concern at all, regarding the insults and jeers thrown in her direction.
Announcer: “Making her way to the ring, hailing from Cincinnati, Ohio, standing five feet, eight inches tall and weighing in at one hundred twenty eight pounds, she is the "WildKat"... KAT JJOONNEESS!!!”
"I try to hide from the unholy sound of it
Another day gone
Another night's dawn"
Standing before the ring apron, Kat removes her black leather jacket, whips it behind her, releasing it and allowing it to sail toward the ramp, ultimately letting out a bloodcurdling scream, before she enters the ring and awaits Bobby Bourbon’s arrival.
The lights in the arena go deep blue as smoke fills the air. Pink and silver laser lights cut through the smoke and it looks fucking rad.
As Warlord blares throughout the arena, slowly walking out onto the entrance ramp is Bobby Bourbon. He stops, surveys the whole of the arena, raises his fists at 45 degree angles, and continues his deliberate plod towards the ring. Bobby climbs the steps, then climbs the nearest ring post half way and raises his fists at 45 degree angles. The lights go back to normal and the music stops. The XWF Universe in attendance, becoming hooligans, all chant in unison.
*FUCK 'EM UP, BOBBY, FUCK 'EM UP!*
KAT JONES
- vs -
BOBBY BOURBON STANDARD MATCH
Bobby and Kat size each other up across the ring as they walk out towards the center. Bobby towers over Kat as they reach the middle of the ring. They lock up, and as expected the much larger Bourbon forces Kat back into a neutral corner. The referee lays the count to Bobby who gives a clean break at the three count while backing out towards the center of the ring.
PIP: Bourbon for sure has the size and strength advantage tonight as he prepares himself for the first time ever Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade match versus Matt Knox. Tonight he’s got to contend with the debuting Kat who has a huge uphill battle to climb.
HHL: Talk about baptism by fire for Kat Jones as she makes her debut.
Kat comes out from the corner where she looks to lock up with Bobby a second time and for a second time he backs her up into the ropes where he shoots her across the ring, Kat bounces off the ropes and into a standing Avalanche Splash that sends her crashing down to the canvass with Bourbon quick to make a cover.
1!!
2!!
THR..
Kat escapes with a kick out. Bobby is the first to his feet where he wastes no time in picking Kat up off the mat. He flings her into a neutral corner where he charges in after her only to eat a reverse elbow that staggers Bobby backward. She hops up on the middle ropes where she leaps off with a bulldog headlock driving Bourbon down into the mat. Kat quickly follows up with a cover.
1!!
2!!
TH…
Bourbon kicks out with authority to a pop from the crowd!
PIP: Kat is quickening the pace, and she’s going to need to in order to keep the bigger Bourbon off his feet.
Kat is back up to her feet where she stomps away at Bourbon’s body before reaching down to pick him up off the mat. Bourbon counters the pick up attempt with his sheer strength as he wraps his arms around the waist of Kat locking in a Bearhug! He’s not down as he drives her back into a neutral corner back first before coming out with an Oklahoma style bear hug slam!
HHL: A piece of Honestly Brutal delivered to Kat Jones! Bobby looks for the cover hooking the near leg!!
1!!
2!!
THRE..
Kat pops a shoulder up off the mat!
PIP: Kat is going to have to find a way to keep the power game of Bourbon in check or this one can get away from her pretty quickly.
Bobby steps back up to his feet where he signals for the Bobby Bomb! He reaches down picking Kat up off the mat where he positions her for the Powerbomb! He hoists her up in the air only to see Kat counter and transition into a Sleeper Hold!
HHL: SLEEPER!
PIP: There’s more than one way to skin a Bourbon!
Kat synches in deep with the sleeper hold as the referee is in perfect position checking for a choke before asking Bourbon to surrender. He refuses as Kat wraps her legs around the body of Bourbon applying more pressure before he drops to one knee. Kat quickly transitions from the sleeper hold into a Dragon Sleeper! The referee asks Bobby to surrender, again he waves him off as Kat cranks on the Dragon Sleeper.
HHL: Bourbon might be fading here!
Kat continues to crank back on the dragon sleeper as the referee asks Bourbon to surrender, he doesn’t get a response which prompts the referee to raise Bobby’s right arm up in the air. It drops down to the mat like a ton of bricks. The referee signals “1” to the time keeper before he grabs the same arm raising it up in the air a second time. He releases and it drops down a second time.
Pip: One more and Kat’s going to leave with a victory! Bourbon is out!
The referee reaches down raising the arm up in the air a third time. He releases it and it free falls towards the mat before Bobby shoots it up in the air to a pop from the crowd as his index finger points up at the heavens before starting to sway it back and forth. Bourbons legs start to convulse before his entire body starts to shake!
HHL: Bourbs is alive!
The crowd starts to rally behind the Bourbs as he begins to work his up while Kat maintains the dragon sleeper but as Bobby steps back up to his feet he picks her up on his back before transitioning into a Powerslam to effectively break the hold! Bobby and Kat are down as the referee is forced to start laying the count to each participant.
PIP: A slick counter into a Powerslam from Bourbon that very well may have saved this match for him!
The crowd starts to get behind both Kat and Bourbon as they each lay on the mat. It’s at the six count that both Kat and Bourbon start to stir, and the eight count before they step up to a vertical base breaking the referee’s standing ten count. Kat comes forward with a knife edge chop to Bourbon who immediately returns fire with a forearm shot!
Jones comes back with an open handed chop that Bourbon fires back with a forearm shiver.
Jones swings with a another chop that Bourbon absorbs before driving a knee across the midsection of Kat. He shoots her into the ropes, she bounces off the ropes where Bobby attempts a Tilt-a-Whirl backbreaker that Kat counters into a Tornado DDT spiking Bourbon head first into the mat!
Kat quickly rolls out to the ring apron under the bottom rope where she pulls herself back up to her feet using the ropes themselves. Kat starts to scale the turnbuckles climbing up to the top rope!
HHL: Kat Jones is taking it to the air!
Bobby starts to work his way back up to a vertical base, and as he stands Kat comes off the top rope with a picture perfect Missile Dropkick that sends Bourbon back down to the mat! Kat pops back up to her feet looking over at Bobby who is already starting to stir. She pops back out to the ring apron going back up top!
PIP: Kat connects with the missile dropkick but it doesn’t look like Bourbon is going to stay down! She’s back up top!!
HHL: Kat’s got her sights locked in on Bourbon!
Bobby gets back up to his feet where Kat sets sail with a Meteora taking Bourbon back down to the mat! Bobby starts to stir once again and start working his way back to his feet. Kat once again pops out to the ring apron where she scales the turnbuckles up to the top rope.
Bobby steps back up to his feet..
PIP: HOW IS BOURBON STILL PUSHING FORWARD AFTER 3 HIGH IMPACT MOVES FROM JONES!?!?!
Kat leaps off the top rope with a Flying Cross Body Block only to have Bourbon catch her in the air! Bobby locks Kat’s head under his arm and transitions into a Fisherman's Falcon Arrow!
HHL: RICHTER SPIKE!
PIP: I’ve just been notified that the force of that impact registered in California!
Borbon doesn’t waste time as he picks Kat Jones up off the mat where he drives her down with the BOBBY BOMB! Bourbon makes the cover hooking the near leg.
1!!
2!!
3!!
WINNER VIA PINFALL: BOBBY BOURBON
PIP: Bobby Bourbon refusing to stay down, refusing to give up leaves tonight with the victory over a very game Kat Jones.
HHL: All his attention now shifts to making history on Thanksgiving Day versus Matt Knox aboard the XWF Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Float.
Bobby has his arm raised in victory as the scene fades to commercial.
The Nickleman’s theme music hits the speakers as pyrotechnics light up the stage. Charlie Nickles walks out onto the entrance ramp with the 24/7 championship around his waist and a few sheets of paper in his hands. Some people in the crowd boo while others cheer as he jaunts his way down the entrance ramp.
PIP: Charlie Nickles is the #1 contender for the television championship at Bad Medicine. Betsy Granger is going to have her hands full with him. He defeated three opponents in one night to win the contender’s tournament and now he's got his eyes set on winning back the TV title.
HHL: This guy seriously gives me the creeps. There’s something about him that’s just not right.
PIP: I’m not sure anything about Charlie Nickles is right, Heather.
Charlie slides into the ring where a piano has been conveniently pre-placed by the XWF’s amazing stage crew. Charlie slides his hand over top of the all white piano before sitting down on the matching bench in front of it. Charlie places the sheets of paper on the piano’s music stand before calling down to the stage hands for a microphone. His music cuts off and the crowd begins to mumble as Charlie waits for a microphone to be tossed into the ring.
PIP: Well while we wait for Charlie to get himself ready, let’s read some trivia about our freestyle champion! Fun fact: did you know that Charlie Nickles once attended a wrestling camp with Latina Submission Machina’s mother?
HHL: Wow, that is a fun fact Pip! I hope LSM’S mother was able to avoid him entirely.
PIP: Second fun fact: while Charlie Nickles was only married once, he was engaged TWICE before he got married! It seems that Charlie was somehow a bit of a ladies man back in his youth…
HHL: You know that’s almost unbelievable, but then I think about women like Rel Dixon and I start to believe.
PIP: It looks like they finally got this hopeless romantic a microphone, let’s see what he came out here to say!
Charlie raises the microphone to his lips as he clears his throat. He looks around at the wide eyes in the audience while shaking his head dismissively.
“You’re all probably wondering what the Nickleman came out here to say to you. He doesn’t swing by Wednesday Nights all that often and he doesn’t stay long when he does. You fine people of New Orleans are probably wondering what’s special about you, what’s so great about you that the Nickleman felt the need to travel all the way out here to be in this ring tonight. What makes New Orleans so great that the Nickleman would show up when he’s not even on the card? Do you want me to tell you fine folks what’s so great about being in New Orleans?”
The crowd cheers as Charlie gains the easy brownie points.
PIP: Charlie hasn’t been out to the ring to cut a promo in quite some time! I’m also wondering why he chose to come out here tonight on a show he’s not even booked for!
HHL: Knowing Charlie, he could be out here to say literally anything.
“What makes New Orleans so great……..IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!”
The crowd boos as Charlie gains the cheap heat.
“There’s nothing special about you, about any of you out there! If I could do this privately I would. You being here is just another unfortunate reality of life. Now if all you nobodies could hush, because I have something important to say to somebody who’s been very near and dear to my heart.”
The crowd boos relentlessly as Charlie looks directly into the ringside camera.
“Betsy Granger…..I know you’re out there watching this. Can you hear me? Turn the volume up on your television, Betsy. This is important. Can you hear me better now? Good. I don’t want James the Raven singing along and ruining this experience for my Goldilocks.”
HHL: Goldilocks? What is he going on about?
PIP: Another fun fact: Goldilocks is the name he has given to the Television championship, Heather!
HHL: This guy gets weirder by the second. And why does he have a piano out here? I’m pretty sure he doesn’t know how to play.
PIP: I don’t have an answer for THAT one, Heather.
“Betsy, go ahead and lift Goldilocks up close to the TV so she can see me. Well come on, just do it. Just quit your bickering and do it Betsy! Jesus Christ Betsy this new attitude you have looks so ugly on you. Whatever, I’ll just sing extra loudly so my baby can hear….”
HHL: Did he just say sing?
PIP: I think he did, Heather.
HHL: Is he going to sing a ballad to a championship belt?
PIP: Well the belt isn’t here, so he’s really going to sing to the concept of the television championship belt.
HHL: Can I submit an HR report on behalf of an inanimate object?
PIP: That’s a good question Heather…
“This one goes out to you, Goldilocks. I’ve been missing you in a way words can’t describe….but maybe music can.”
Charlie begins tapping the keys on the piano seemingly at random after he puts the microphone on it’s stand near the piano. A familiar melody plays through the arena as Charlie bounces up and down excitedly in front of the piano.
Charlie continues to play the keys on the piano for some time before he bellows out the wistful words of his song.
BABY COME BACK, any kind of fool could seeeeeeeee
There was something in everything about yyyooooouuuuuuu
BABY COME BACK, you can blame it ALL on meeeeeeee
I was WRRRooooOOOoooOoOOoOoOoooooOOOONNNGGG, and I just can't live without yooooouuuuuuuuuu
HHL: I know Charlie misses being the television champion, but uh, this isn’t the right way to go about expressing that feeling.
PIP: I can’t help but agree with you Heather. I think Charlie needs therapy, not a microphone and a stage crew.
HHL: Besides that fact, his singing is kind of not good.
PIP: Oh it’s absolutely HORRIBLE, Heather. It sounds like someone is gutting a pig.
"All day looooooooooong, wearing a mask of false bravado
Trying to keep up a smile that hides a tear
But as the sun goes doooooooown, I get that empty feeling again
How I wish to God that you were here"
Charlie grabs the microphone and jumps back from the piano. Magically the piano laden instrumental continues to play throughout the arena as Charlie drops to his knees in the center of the ring and sings his soul out into the microphone.
"GOLDI COME BACK, any kind of fool could seeeeeeeee
There was something in everything about yyyooooouuuuuuu
GOLDI COME BACK, you can blame it ALL on meeeeeeee
I was WRRRooooOOOoooOoOOoOoOoooooOOOONNNGGG, and I just can't live without
The music cuts off as a sweaty ass Charlie breaths heavily into the microphone while still on his knees.
PIP: Well that was just awful.
HHL: That was one of the most disturbing things I’ve ever seen.
The Nickleman wipes some sweat from his brow as he remains seated on his knees. He keeps the microphone up at his lips as he stares directly into the camera once more.
“I’m not leaving The Barclays Center without my Goldilocks. It would be impossible for me to travel back to my haven without her….”
PIP: Did he say haven?
HHL: I’m not quite sure what that is, Pip…
“She means everything to me. She is my one, my only…..devotion.”
Charlie looks from left to right as the crowd doesn’t know quite what to make of the proceedings. He runs his free hand through his shaggy hair before looking back into the camera with a grin. He makes a heart with his hands over his heart and blows a kiss at the camera.
“I love you Goldi. Don't you worry darling, we'll be together again soon....just think of me when you're looking up at the moonlight. We are both always under that same moon. Remember that while you wait for me to rescue you. Remember that one night soon we'll be standing together under that same moon...”
Charlie drops the microphone and rolls out of the ring as his entrance music hits once more. The Nickleman walks up the entrance ramp without incident as the stage crew rushes in the ring to disassemble the piano.
HHL: I don’t know just WHAT to make of all that, I just know that I didn’t like it!
PIP: Imagine how Betsy Granger feels, she has to wrestle that madman!
HHL: I don’t envy her! She’s standing between that freak and the championship belt he’s developed a crush on!
HHL: We’re keeping the action rolling here, as we move onto our second match of the night. And it’s an ...unorthodox affair.
PIP: It’s a SHAM, Heather. Call it what it is. One of these competitors has no business being in the ring.
HHL: While I agree, Pip, that it is questionable on an ethical level… The fighting commission’s hands are tied. The gorilla has agreed (in Sign Language) to compete tonight.
Pip: No, no, I’m fine with the Gorilla. No OCW Competitor should ever be allowed on XWF soil.
HHL: Well, first off, Peter Vaughn is no longer an OCW employee. He signed on the dotted line and is XWF through-and-through.
Pip: He’s a Double-Agent, you just watch.
HHL: Second of all, he’s not only a FORMER OCW star. He’s the former OCW World Heavyweight champion! We should be excited and welcoming, Pip.
Pip: Yeah yeah yeah. Hey, when the gorilla rips his arms off, can you be ready to take a picture of my smiling face?
HHL:...
Pip: For the ‘gram?
HHL:...
Pip: Guess I’ll be taking a selfie then.
In a cage with wheels on the bottom, two trained animal handlers carefully roll The Gorilla down the ramp. His head bops to the beat of ‘King-Kong’ by LA Symphony.
The crowd cheers.
HHL: The gorilla seems to have a few fans among this crowd.
Pip: Count me among them!
The cart hits the bottom of the ramp… And the handlers carefully unlatch the door.
Upon being unlocked, the gorilla springs out and leaps over the top rope and into the center of the ring. He beats his chest, delighting the crowd.
…
"This Time It's Different" by Evans Blue hits. The fans give the most recent OCW World Heavyweight Champion what he probably expected his first time stepping onto an XWF ramp… solicited boos registering a fuckin 10 on the ‘heat’ scale. The spotlight hits the curtain. That curtain is thrown back. And Vaughn appears from the shadows, facing the ring. He pauses, soaking in the boos...he throws his head back, breathing in the night air~
HHL: A controversial figure, former OCW Champion Peter Vaughn. He was their Heel of the Month just before his contract was discontinued under ...mysterious circumstances. And… according to my research… he also tried to kill a baby? That can’t be right.
PIP: Stop trying to make me like this guy, Heather. It won’t work!
HHL: ...I wasn’t…
Vaughn finishes soaking in the hate. He lowers his head and eyes the ring.
After making his way down the ramp, Vaughan climbs through the ropes, and the gorilla begins to shriek at it.
HHL: This might be a slight miscalculation by the former OCW World Heavyweight champion. Gorillas are famously territorial. Stepping into the ring at all might be seen as an encroachment on the gorilla’s rightful property.
The official looks like he’s going to step between the two competitors… Then, he goes nah fuck that, and calls for the bell from the safe distance of the corner.
GORILLA
- vs -
PETER VAUGHN Tranquilizer Challenge: The first to shoot the other with a tranquilizer gun wins
The moment the bell rings, from the top of the arena on a small pulley, a tranquilizer gun lowers and drops until it hangs about 15 feet in the air.
The Gorilla goes to square up, beating his fists against his chest aggressively.
Vaughn… Bends his knees and asserts a less-aggressive stance.
PIP: What sort of bullshit is this?
HHL: It seems Vaughn is a crafty one, and is attempting to sooth the beast out of its rage by lowering his head, asserting he is not a threat.
PIP: ...How the fuck do you know any of this, Heather? Were you raised by gorillas?
HHL: No, I just watched Gorillas in the Mist like every night for three years of my life.
The gorilla is slightly calmer… And Vaughn reaches into his back pocket…
PIP: Here comes the ambush! You can’t trust any of these new OCW hires!
And he retrieves a banana!
PIP: ...Oh.
HHL: It would seem Vaughn might make a friend from the animal kingdom in his first XWF match.
He shakes the banana back and forth in his hand to help the gorilla see that he’s holding food.
He then offers it out to his opponent.
Without a moment’s hesitation, the gorilla readily takes the banana. He peels it quickly and takes a big bite…
Vaughn smiles. The gorilla rubs his belly in gratitude…
…
Until he starts to fan his face.
The gorilla actually starts retching his stomach and panicking, fanning manically with both hands!
He rolls under the ropes and straight to the timekeeper’s table where there’s a bucket of water.
PIP: The timekeeper has a bucket of water?
HHL: Yeah, you know. In case one of the competitors becomes dehydrated.
PIP: … Fine.
The gorilla submerges his whole head in the bucket.
HHL: What is going on here?
Vaughn’s smile takes on a more devious tone as he reaches into his pocket and reveals…
A BOTTLE OF GHOST PEPPER HOT SAUCE!
HHL: Oh my! Vaughn spiked the banana with ghost pepper sauce!
The crowd rains down boos on Vaughn for feeding a gorilla hot sauce.
HHL: What a cruel trick! Everyone knows the only two animals that enjoy spicy cuisine are humans and Chinese Tree Shrews.
PIP: ...Heather, I say this as a friend. Turn off Nat Geo docs and Get a fucking life.
Vaughn rolls outside of the ring and retrieves a ladder from under the ring. He rolls back in with it and sets it under the tranq gun.
PIP: Well, while I’m no Vaughn fan yet, I have to admire his approach. He came in with a plan and made his debut match a cakewalk.
HHL: Hold that thought, Pip!
The gorilla rips his head out of the water bucket, the spices having subsided from his taste buds!
He rolls back into the ring, just as Vaughn is halfway up the ladder…
PIP: The Gorilla’s still at a significant disadvantage. Vaughn has a few steps on the primate.
HHL: You might think so, Pip. But gorillas can climb almost fast as they can run, nearing climbing speeds of 15 miles an hour.
True enough, the gorilla zips up the ladder and is quickly face to face with Vaughn at the top of the ladder.
Before Vaughn can even react, the gorilla climbs to the top step and retrieves the tranq gun…
HHL: Vaughn may still have some advantage here. We don’t know how long it would take the gorilla to learn firearms…
The gorilla immediately turns off the safety, racks the gun, and aims down the sight at Vaughn.
HHL: ...What a magnificent animal.
PIP: This could spell the end for Peter Vaughn!
Just before the Gorilla can fire, Vaughn releases his grip on the sides of the ladder and kicks his feet out, destabilizing its footholds on the mat!
Vaughn cradles his neck and lands safely on his back. But the Gorilla, still clinging to the top of the ladder, falls backwards outside the ring ropes and lands on the hardest part of the ring headfirst!
PIP: Dear God, Vaughn! That gorilla has a family!
HHL: Actually, Pip, they’re called a troop.
PIP: Heather, shut the fuck up.
The gorilla flops like a dead fish onto the padded concrete outside the ring.
Vaughn, still grinning deviously, rolls outside the ring on the opposite side and takes his time, basking in the boos of the XWF audience.
Vaughn circles around the side of the ring… approaching his opponent…
JUST IN TIME TO SEE THE GORILLA LYING LOW, AIMING DOWN THE SIGHTS OF THE RIFLE!
The gorilla fires a spray of tranq darts!
…
Just as Vaughn dips back behind the ring apron behind cover!
HHL: Very close call for Vaughn! And incredible tenacity by the Gorilla to recover so quickly![/red[
The gorilla rises slowly to his feet, obviously that fall off the ladder doing a significant chunk of damage…
Still, the gorilla circles the side of the ring to where Vaughn took cover…
…But he sees no one…
[red]HHL: A disappearing act from Peter Vaughn!
Gorillas AND magic? This match has everything!
The gorilla scratches his head confused… Just as he sees the ring apron tremble, as if someone is just on the other side of it…
HHL: Aha, the gorilla might have just found Vaughn!
The gorilla grabs the ring apron and tears it aside…
Revealing hiding under the ring…
PETER VAUGHN WITH A STEEL FOLDING CHAIR!
Vaughn swings, hitting the tranq gun out of the gorilla’s hands!
THEN, IN A FLUID MOTION, BRINGS THE CHAIR DOWN ON THE GORILLA’S SKULL!
The gorilla crashes to the padded floor in a heap, yet again!
PIP: Hey Heather, how many times can you hit a gorilla in the skull with a steel folding chair before it passes out?
HHL: I dunno, that wasn’t in any Nat Geo documentary.
PIP: Well, we might be about to find out!
Vaughn swings down a second time onto the gorilla!
A third time!
The gorilla’s feet stretch trying to escape, but Vaughn continues to cave the gorilla’s face in, countering every escape attempt the gorilla makes with a steel folding chair to the face!
PIP: I don’t care if that gorilla signed the waivers, PETA is going to sue someone.
Vaughn, after looking down at the chair and realizing it’s completely sharded into metal bits… Tosses away what’s left.
He walks over and grabs the tranq gun. He racks it, reloading…
And spins around.
...
…
But now the gorilla is gone!
PIP: Wow, monkey see, monkey do, huh, Heather?
HHL: Actually, Pip. Gorillas are part of the Great Ape family and aren’t monkeys.
PIP: Heather, I swear to God…
Vaughn scoffs… He takes a knee to steady his aim.
HHL: Vaughn apparently determined to not fall for the same trick he just played on the gorilla. He’s not going to pull up the apron. He’s going to fire from where he is.
Vaughn aims down the sight...
And fires a volley of tranq darts through the apron!
…
Just as Vaughn goes to re-rack the tranq gun.
From around the steel steps, the gorilla hops out of hiding and charges Vaughn!
PIP: Clever girl…
HHL: Actually, Pip. That’s a boy gorilla. It’s just hard to tell because the average gorilla penis is 3 centimeters in length.
PIP: HEATHER…
…
PIP: THAT FACT IS HILARIOUS, HAHAHA.
The gorilla bowls over Vaughn, who falls down outside the ring…
But the gorilla keeps charging! He runs around the ring. And…
Wait!
He’s charging the announce table! And he’s grabbing Heather Halliwell!
HHL: Pip! Help me!
PIP: Haha, not a fucking chance.
The gorilla picks up Heather over his shoulder and hops the barricade…
The audience, despite previously loving the gorilla, screams and dives out of the way as the gorilla starts to climb the railing higher and higher into the arena’s cheap seats…
PIP: Can anyone save Heather?
…
PIP: Besides me, of course!
Suddenly, Peter Vaughn rises from the mat…
He shakes off cobwebs… Before setting the tranq rifle against the side of the ring…
He aims down the sight.
The gorilla, with Heather on his back… Has climbed up the front section, around to the entrance ramp and has climbed to the top of the X-Tron!
PIP: Vaughn is aiming down the sights of a gun that only has a firing range of 100 feet! This shot will have to be one-in-a-million!
Vaughn looks in the air… Accounting for wind resistance… The weight of the tranq dart… The price of a box of nachos at the arena…
He shifts his aim a few millimeters…
The gorilla sets Heather down atop of the X-Tron… She grips the side of the mechanics terrified…
…
Just as the gorilla reaches behind his back…
And retrieves a red rose…
PIP: Where the Hell could he have been keeping that?
Heather is stunned speechless…
…
Just the shot of a rifle echoes out…
And the sound of metal sinking into the flesh...
Vaughn smiles and blows on the muzzle of the tranq rifle.
The gorilla inhales…
And looks down at his back…
And finds a tranq dart firmly planted in his right ass cheek…
Winner: Peter Vaughn
Before Heather can lurch forward... even if she wanted to.
The gorilla flops unconsciously to his left…
OFF THE X-TRON!
AND GOES INTO AN ELECTRICAL BOX TO THE SIDE OF THE ENTRANCE RAMP!
Sparks fizzle and the gorilla's body seizes as thousands of volts course through its body!
The handlers sprint out to provide immediate medical aid...
The crowd rains boos down on Vaughn, who waves the rifle in the air triumphantly.
PIP: WOW! This might be the most impressive XWF debut I’ve ever seen! Peter Vaughn might have just killed that gorilla!
HHL: No, Pip…
PIP: Heather! Your headset is still working? Well, Just sit tight, we’ll send someone to come get you!
HHL: ‘Twas Beauty killed the Beast…
PIP: ...On second thought, let’s leave her up there.
We fade to commercial.
The bell rings as the ring announcer stands in the center of the ring.
HHL: Schism, fresh off a victory over Marf Swaysons on Savage...
PIP: And he followed that up by losing to Charlie Nickles!
HHL: Nickles, by the way, victorious in the tournament to crown a number one contender to Betsy Granger, and Granger will defend the Television title against Charlie coming up at Bad Medicine as we heard from him earlier tonight..
PIP: Not to go home empty handed, Schism will go one on one at Bad Medicine against Marf and the winner will challenge for the Xtreme title. How’s that for falling uphill?
Schism butts a cigarette out on the floor and rises from a seat in the audience nose-bleeds. They make a nonchalant descent through the stadium, over the guardrail and under the bottom rope into the ring.
HHL: That’s at Bad Medicine in New York. Tonight? Schism faces Thaddeus Duke is Thad’s first match in the ring since Relentless!
And his opponent...
The house lights fall dark with a loud audible snap. The stage and the ring remain lit in a dim gold colored lighting.
From the Tribeca section of New York City. Weighing 2 hundred 17 pounds.
THADDEUUUSSSS DUUUUKE!
The announcers lay out as ‘Sirius’ by the Alan Parsons Project begins to play. A pulse effect with the stage lighting matches the guitar strumming. About a minute in, ‘Sirius’ fades with a triple pyro shot from the top of the X-Tron toward the ring. When it bursts, it reveals a sparkling golden image of a roaring lion above the ring, bringing thousands of boos from the XWF Universe.
After the pyro bursts, ‘Anti-You’ begins. Again, the lighting stays dark, only pulsating in gold with the beat of the music. Emerging from backstage, is Thaddeus Duke with Chris Page by his side and his bodyguard Cyrus Braddock behind him. Thad in his customary white Lionheart hoodie stands on stage as Page backs off to the side and Cyrus keeps his distance.
Thad pauses with a chorus of boos, striking a messiah-like pose as the camera pans out and golden pyro bursts behind Thad in front of the X-Tron. After the pyro bursts Thad basks in the hate from the XWF Universe. He then rushes the ring sliding beneath the bottom rope and pops quickly to his feet.
Inside the ring, he climbs the turnbuckles on the far side, welcoming the hate from the crowd with a smile and outstretched arms.
HHL: Chris Page, giving some last minute advice to the Lionheart!
PIP: Schism is in the Lion’s Den now, Heather! This isn’t Marf Swaysons! It’s not Charlie Nickels!
HHL: Put your fan boy boner away Pip, we have a match to call.
PIP: Oooo Chris Page s gonna join us here at ringside!
SCHISM
- vs -
THADDEUS DUKE w. Chris Page STANDARD MATCH
Chris Page hops off the ring apron and retreats to the announce table as the official signals for the bell. Thad and Schism stare across at each other for a moment before advancing out of their own corners. Locking horns in the center of the ring, Thad quickly transitions into a side head lock. After wrenching it in a couple times, Schism pulls Thad towards the ropes and attempts to shove him off, but Thad keeps the hold locked in and takes him chest first to the mat.
After a few moments, Schism reverses position, pulling Thad over onto his shoulders for a quick pin escape attempt.
1…
2…
HHL: As expected, Thad kicks out and reaffirms his headlock on Schism!
PIP: He’s just toying with him at this stage of the game, Heather! Tell her, Page!
CCP: It’s a smart move by Schism to attempt the pin, but one, that’s not gonna beat Thaddeus Duke and two, Thad’s just too good for a move like that to take him out of his game. There’s a reason why I signed him.
Schism starts to will himself to his feet, still in the headlock, once he’s vertical, Thad takes him down with the headlock still locked in, but with Schism now on his back. In an attempt to break the headlock, Schism again pulls Thad over him pinning his shoulders to the mat.
1…
2…
HHL: And again, Thaddeus Duke kicks out!
PIP: Schism isn’t so much a wrestler as he is a… I don’t know what he is actually.
CCP: What he is, is learning on the job and that spells bad news when he’s in the ring with a consummate professional the likes of Thaddeus Duke.
HHL: It’s so weird… you two spent half a year beating each other down and now you’re talking him up.
CCP: Mutual respect is something that grows when you’re involved in heated battles. Thaddeus and I are the only people that I know who ran through the Television division, the tag division and the Universal Championship division. I’ve always told Thad to stop pretending that kissing babies was really his thing. He’s embraced the fact that fans are fickle, talent is not.
After the kickout, Thad retains his grasp on the side headlock and Schism remains trapped on the mat. Attempting another pin, Thad shifts his legs outward to adjust his center of gravity, negating Schism’s attempt. Out of desperation, Schism attempt to swing his legs up to head scissor Thad. While it breaks the headlock for the moment, Thad kips up out of the scissor and back to his feet.
Schism rolls over to his stomach, attempting to get to his feet, but Thad’s immediately on top of him, dropping him with an elbow drop to the side of Schism’s head. Schism drops to the mat and rolls to his back. Quickly back to his feet, Thad runs to the ropes. On the rebound, he drops a quick, devastating looking legdrop to Schism. After, he pops back to his feet and drops two more lightning quick legdrops in succession to his ill-equipped opponent before covering and hooking the leg.
1…
2…
HHL: Schism kicks out!
PIP: Those were some of the fastest legdrops I’ve ever seen in this business!
CCP: I’ve never seen those legdrops before, but that’s what sets Thad Duke apart from pretty much everyone else. He’s always making tweaks and changing his game. Removing things that don’t work and adding new wrinkles.
That’s why the Lionheart is who he is and everyone else is always playing catch-up.
Thad gets back to his feet after the Schism kick out and bends down, grabbing himself a handful of hair. Lying on his back, he sends a thumb to Thad Duke’s eye.
PIP: Where the hell’s the referee!?
HHL: Schism with a thumb to the eye of the Lionheart!
CCP: It’ll buy him some separation now, but for how long really?
Thad staggers backward with blurred vision. Schism gets back to his feet and charges toward Thad Duke, taking him to the mat with spear-like tackle. Once Thad’s laying on his back, Schism takes a ground and pound approach to his offense. Thad covers up well though, negating a lot of the attempted ‘pounds’ on his face and head.
HHL: He may not be a well-trained technician like Thaddeus Duke, but Schism is a trained shoot fighter!
PIP: Taking him out of his element, out of his game, might be Schism’s only real chance of walking out of this thing with his hand raised in victory!
CCP: If that’s not wishful thinking I don’t really know what is..
Schism shifts his body to an almost perpendicular position across Thad Duke and begins sending elbow after elbow into the side of Thad’s head. After several blows, Schism gets back to his feet leaving Thad stunned on the mat. Reaching down for a handful of hair, he lifts Thad from his back and bring him to a vertical base before whipping him toward the corner. Schism then follows him in with a running high knee to the upper chest of Thad Duke.
Schism backs off of the corner and Thad staggers out before he’s tossed toward the far side corner. Schism again follows him in with a running high knee to the upper chest. Again, Schism backs off and once again Thad staggers out of the corner. One more time, Schism sends him across the ring onto the corner from whence he came, following him in with a third high knee…
HHL: This time, Thaddeus Duke was ready for him!
CCP: Was there really any doubt?
At the last second, Thad side steps the high knee, sending Schism tumbling awkwardly over the top rope to the ring apron. Gaining his bearings, Schism starts to get to his feet on the apron while Thad also regains his own bearings.
Schism turns in an effort to re-enter the ring only to eat a clothesline from Thad Duke. Schism falls to his back on the apron and rolls to the floor. Thad backpedals toward the far side ropes.
HHL: I think the Lionheart is about to take to the skies!
PIP: Schism is just in over his head on this one.
CCP: He really can do it all, can’t he?
As Schism starts to climb to his feet, Thaddeus Duke bolts across the ring, hopping over the top rope and landing on Schism on the floor with a suicida. Thad gets back to his feet quickly and strikes the messiah pose for a moment to some cheers that quickly turn to boo’s.
HHL: It’s like they forgot they hated him for a second.
CCP: Being as naturally athletic and well equipped as Thaddeus Duke is in regards to in-ring prowess, it sometimes happens.
After the boo’s begin to rain down upon him, Thad takes a curtsy bow before returning his attention to Schism. Pulling him up some by his hair, Thad maintains a hold of it from behind with Schism on his knees, before sending a series of stiff right fists into the side of his head. Schism falls to his hands and knees with Thad maintaining a grip on his hair.
Pulling him up, Thad whips him toward the fan barricade, but Schism reverses, sending Thad back first instead. Thad’s back arches for a moment and he winces in pain before falling to his knees. Schism, now with some separation, quickly advances toward Thaddeus Duke before delivering a few hard vicious stomps into his back and side.
Thad collapses chest first on the arena floor. Schism lifts him back to his feet though and rolls him into the ring. Following him in, Schism quickly gets back to a vertical base and stands back in wait of Thaddeus Duke.
HHL: This match has turned into a bit more back and forth than maybe any of us thought!
CCP: It’s the survival instinct, Heather. We all have it and none of us are real kind on losing so, it will kick in for even the novices in the sport.
As Thaddeus Duke starts to get vertical, Schism pounces on him, attempting the rear naked choke submission.
PIP: The Abolition!
HHL: Telegraphed by Thad!
Thad Duke hits the mat, taking Schism over his shoulder with a Judo-like throw. In the process of going over, Schism accidentally kicks the referee, causing the ref to take a spill. While the official recuperates, Schism gets back to his feet, quickly noticing the unaware official and reaches into his pants.
Chris Page slams down his headset and quickly makes his way to Thaddeus’s side.
Thad listens and nods. Page retreats to the announce table while Thad starts to get up.
Shifting his attention back and forth between the somewhat down referee and his opponent, Schism places the object from his pants over his right fist.
HHL: Brass knuckles!
PIP: Welcome back, Chris Page.
CCP: Sorry about that. .
Thad starts to get back to his feet, now fully aware of the fate that awaits him if he doesn’t react. He turns. Schism swings his brass knuckle clad fist. Thaddeus ducks beneath the swing and takes Schism down with an armbar, quickly wrestling the brass knuckles from Schism’s grip.
HHL: Great catastrophe avoidance from Thad Duke!
Thad gets back to his feet. Like Schism a moment ago, he splits his time watching the referee recuperate and watching Schism get vertical. Just as Schism does so, Thad unleashes a hard right hand with his brass knuckle clad fist, nailing Schism square in the forehead.
Schism collapses to the mat fogged almost entirely over. Removing the knuckles from his fist, Thad hides them in his own shorts and backpedals a few steps from Schism.
CCP: Ohhh you know what’s comin’ next.
Almost simultaneously, the referee and Schism both reach their feet. Schism turns…
SMACK!
HHL: Heat Seeker!
Schism eats the super kick.
CCP: Felt that damn kick no less than a dozen times and it’s legit! Dream Street immediately.
With Schism flat on his back, Page vacates the announce table while Thad hooks the leg.
1…
2…
3!
WINNER: THADDEUS DUKE
The referee tries to raise Thad’s arm in victory only to see the Lionheart yank it away. Chris Page has left the commentary table and has a microphone in his hand as he walks up the steel steps to the ring apron before stepping through the ropes. He walks over towards Thad where he raises his arm in victory to boos from the crowd with a cocky smirk on his face. Chris lowers Thad’s arm as he then raises the microphone and starts to address the crowd.
CHRIS PAGE: Contrary to what Theo Pryce would have you all believe, the moves that I am making all over the wrestling world supersede what this small potatoes federation has going for it. You should all consider yourselves lucky that not only am I gracing you with my presence but that I’ve allowed you to bask in the glory that is THADDEUS DUKE!”[/green]
Page applauds Thaddeus as the crowd continues to boo intently.
CHRIS PAGE: I was content with leaving the XWF back at Relentless, I was satisfied with my list of accomplishments, by redefining the Universal Championship division, by leading a dominant group of misfits to the promised land, by playing Robert Main and the rest of the company for fools… but then the trolls began; why? Because it’s a way for you to say what you want without any repercussions, right? Wrong.
PIP: Did the XWF poke the bear?
CHRIS PAGE: What you dumb fucks have done is allowed me to walk right back into your lives, just under a different role. Thaddeus Duke, the present and future of Professional Wrestling, is the first signee to Chris Page Enterprises, and while he is the first here in the Xtreme Wrestling Federation… he’s not the last.”
HHL: I think the moment a lot of us have been waiting for!
Page hands the mic to Thaddeus Duke.
Before we get down to business…
Thad pauses and starts to pace a little in the ring.
Chris, I’ll let you have that one, but we both know that if it wasn’t for me defending that damn belt as much as I possibly could, you wouldn’t have done it when you got it. Alias wouldn’t have done it when he got it…
Trend.
Setter.
That said…
Why Thaddeus?
Why Thad, did you align yourself with one of the most despised men in the history of this sport?
The fans boo loudly, and for a long moment.
PIP: We have our answer!
HHL: What is it? I don’t get it.
The answer is contained right within the question. The proof that what I did when I signed on with this man was the right thing to do is evidenced by your reaction.
Thad pauses for a beat.
HHL: Oh… I think I get it.
When you ungrateful shit bags turned your backs on me, I vowed then to take everything you love and destroy it. I told you all then… that if you were soooo into loving me when it was popular to love me, that you were gonna absolutely LOVE hating me…
And I meant it.
You hate Chris Page so by default, that makes him my new best friend.
The New Orleans chapter of the XWF Universe boos incessantly toward Thaddeus Duke and CCP.
Chris was right though… this is just the beginning. This is the GENESIS of what’s to come…
]/center]
The audience first reacts with some confusion to the unfamiliar theme music, Thad and Page both give the entrance way a knowing glance but when Corey Smith explodes out of the back, the fans get to their feet!
Once on the top of the rampway, he throws back the hood on his hoodie and gestures to the Supercontinental title around his waist, slapping it a couple times for good measure before gesturing to the crowd. Back in the ring, Page leans in and says something indiscernible to Thad. But Corey has a mic in hand.
HHL: It’s Corey Smith!
PIP: Stealer of titles!
Hey, hey! I know my new theme music’s pretty sweet, but we gotta cut it because I have something to say to these two mooks in the ring.
The music draws down and Corey paces. Thad goes to the ropes, white knuckling the top one and resting a foot on the bottom one as he glowers at Corey.
We never really discussed this but wow man, Chris Page? Chris fuckin’ Page? And NOT Doc?! I bet he’s just gutted. I’m not sure if this is a step up or a step down but…
Page looks like he’s going to cut in when Corey cuts him off.
First off, shut the fuck up!
The crowd pops.
The only thing I have to fear from you is a 37 part campfire story that goes absolutely nowhere, so unless you’re prepared for that just save it.
CHRIS PAGE: I mean, you would be the guy that knows all about going nowhere. This isn’t between you and I… it’s between you and Thad. What I will tell you is the same thing I’ve told Thad, my days competing inside this ring are done. Come Bad Medicine you don’t have to worry about me getting involved because when Thad beats you for that Supercontinental Championship… We don’t want any excuses; just the satisfaction of knowing you will forever be Thad’s bitch!”
The fans pop as Corey heads to the ring. He makes a running dash and slides under the bottom rope. Both Thad and Page separate as he enters, watching him warily. Corey pops up to his feet and immediately goes nose to nose with Thad. Page looks like he might intervene when Thad waves him off. Page retreats to ringside as Corey brings the mic back up to his mouth as he’s eye to eye with his former friend. But then, he says nothing and just drops it. The silent intensity seems to be mounting and mounting! And then, Thad scoops up the mic.
I have just one thing and three little words to say to you, Little Man…
Frankie…
Isn’t…
Here.
It happens quickly and violently, before anyone knows it Corey and Thad are throwing down, trading furious blows as the crowd erupts to finally see these two descend into physicality! Corey stumbles toward the ropes and Thad goes to take advantage, but Corey grabs Thad by his waistband and pulls him through the ropes with him! They tumble to the outside, still locked in a furious battle!
HHL: Page! Signaling to the back!
Meanwhile, Corey grabs Thad up and goes to throw him into the crowd control barricade, but Thad puts the brakes on and pulls Corey into a Lou Thesz press and down they go again!! Fighting fist, tooth, and nail for an advantage. And that’s when XWF’s crack security team spills out of the back.
HHL: Here comes security!
PIP: Let ‘em fight! People like me have been waiting on this moment for a god damn year, Heather!
Page starts directing traffic, telling them to protect his client. The security team drags them apart, but they still want each other bad! Corey seems to be bleeding from the mouth, Thad from his nose, but they’re still trying to claw their way towards each other. Finally, Thad elbows one of the security guards holding him back in the head, which gives him just enough opening to start fighting back. He kicks one on the midsection, and then levels another with a lariat!
HHL: Thad Duke, fighting off security!
Corey sees this and shouts out, Let me go! Let me go! But they hold fast…until Corey pulls the guy holding him down into a jawbreaker! Two more grunts sweep in to tackle Corey but he kicks both of them savagely with a couple of roundhouse kicks! And with that, Corey takes a diving leap onto Thad, punching him back down all the way to the floor! Thad quickly escapes though, picking himself up and going for a kick to Corey’s head, shades of what put Corey away months ago! But Corey grabs Thad’s ankle and turns into a leg drag takedown!
PIP: Here comes more security!
Another wave of security rushes to surround and separate the two boys, but neither will have any of it. Thad drops one with an overhead belly to belly as Corey takes out a pair with a headscissor on one and a tornado DDT on the other. Within a few moments, the combined efforts of Champion and Challenger have dispatched the second wave and both men stand in opposite corners.
HHL: We’re at an impasse at the moment!
PIP: If looks could kill… both of these guys would be six feet under right now!
Their chests heaving with adrenaline, Thad’s nose bloody, Corey’s mouth bloody… the two men stare across the ring at one another from their respective corners.
Almost simultaneously, the two former best-friends nod in each others directions and start toward one another to continue their fight.
”Hold it right there!”
There is a mixed pop as Derrick Diamond appears on the X-Tron taking the attention of the arena.
”As much as I want to see this thing explode between the two of you right here in the BIG EASY… I cannot allow this to continue.”
The crowd erupts with boos as even MORE security come through the crowd and over the barricade where they further get between the Supercontinental Champion and his challenger. Chris Page is shown finally getting to his client, yanking him away to attempt to create more space.
”If neither of you will control yourselves then perhaps I should do it for you. This stops now or the match at Bad Medicine… is CANCELED! The question now becomes, just how bad do you two REALLY want to get at each other?”
Page calms Thad down as he manages to get him headed up the ramp as Corey rolls into the ring as the New Orleans crowd rallies behind him. Champion and Challenger lock eyes with sheer intensity.
PIP: The Barclays Center in New York City is going to explode when these two men finally come face to face in the center of the ring with the Supercontinental Championship at stake. It’s Corey Smith versus Thaddeus Duke!
The heated staredown between former friends continues as we fade to commercial break.
Salt and Pepper make their way to the ring.
[center]
Comes out in a dazzling blue robe. Across the back, it says "King of the Midcarders". He has no expression and makes no eye contact with his opponent. When the bell rings, he shifts gear and a snarl comes across his face.
NKWC walks in perfect step to the tune of the North Korean National Anthem, wielding a ceremonial sword and immaculate military uniform. A wondrous orchestra of True Koreans trumpet out the most beautiful melody any man could ever hear. Two cadets walk several paces after him wielding the glorious flag of True Korea, waving majestically overhead, leading the way to a brighter future for all mankind. Wherever he is, the True Leader of the Free World, Kim Jong Un sheds a single of tear of pride for the Greatest Warrior on the Planet, aside from himself.
NKWC removes his military uniform's jacket and walks up the steps into the ring. The cadets catch the jacket and without letting it or the flag hit the ground and touching filthy North American soil, quietly scurry back up the ramp.
Flynn and NKWC storm Salt and Pepper with Flynn pairing off with Salt while NKWC pairs off with Pepper! Flynn rakes the eyes before taking a back waist lock snapping off a German Suplex! NKWC thumbs Pepper in the eye before taking him back into a neutral corner with a choke hold! NKWC shoots Pepper across the ring towards Flynn who snaps him over to the mat with a Belly to Belly Suplex! Salt starts getting back to his feet when NKWC comes up from behind clobbering Salt in the back of the neck sending him staggering towards Flynn who drives a boot to the midsection of Salt following up with a swinging neck breaker!
PIP: The Tag Team Champions are putting on a clinic! Perhaps sending a message to Apex regarding the tag title match for Bad Medicine.
HHL: I still can’t believe what we witnessed earlier between Duke/Smith.
We get a split screen where JIM CAEDUS and ROBERT MAIN are shown watching the match on a set of monitors backstage.
PIP: It looks like Main and Caedus are paying close attention.
Flynn picks Pepper up off the mat where he spins him around with Pepper’s back to NKWC who rushes forward with a chop block to the back of the right knee! Flynn clotheslines Salt over the top rope sending him spilling out to the floor. NKWC picks Pepper up off the mat and fires him towards Flynn who connects with THE END! A cocky faced Flynn executes the cover with a shit eating grin on his face.
1!!
2!!
3!!
WINNERS VIA PINFALL: MARK FLYNN and NORTH KOREAN WAR CRIMINAL
The Tag Team Champions celebrate the victory as they’re awarded the titles by the referee who raises their arms in the air.
HHL: They aren’t getting paid by the hour. Tonight they made short work of Salt and Pepper, but come Bad Medicine they’re going to contend with Apex.
PIP: A collision course has been set. Bad Medicine it’s Flynn and War Criminal versus Main and Caedus for the Tag Titles!
We go full screen on the Tag Team Champions as they display their gold towards the camera as we fade to our final commercial break.
We return to ringside where Pip and Heather are shown sitting behind the commentary desk.
PIP: Ladies and gentleman over the last several weeks the XWF has been snatching up some of the premiere talents in the business; names like Peter Vaughn, Cashe and Riddle, Matt Knox, Adi Gold, Kat Jones, and a host of others.”
HHL: Pip, it seems like the hits just keep on coming if you’re a fan of the XWF because tonight we’ve got another signing…”
All attention diverts to the X-Tron where the following graphic appears.
PIP: Joe Montori is on his way to the Xtreme Wrestling Federation as the roster continues to grow and the competition never slows down!
HHL: The XWF is only getting bigger and better with each week, with signee. I’m told that Joe Montori WILL be at the Barclays Center for Bad Medicine, and is expected to address the XWF Universe.
PIP: Heather we are only going up, and I for one can’t wait to hear what’s on his mind come Bad Medicine.
Michael Graves makes his way to the ring.
The now familiar opening notes to "Ready Steady Go" by Paul Oakenfold begin to blast from the PA moments before the ring announcer plugs. The fans erupt. As the spiel is unloaded the lights cut, plunging the arena in darkness before silver strobes begin to flash and silver spotlights begin to continuously wave from along the length of the entrance walkway to the crowd and back.
Obviously practiced and well-timed, the moment the announcer finishes, "ready, steady, g-g-go!" is let fly by the song's vocalist and silver pyro erupts from the egress. Before the cloud of smoke dissipates, Jim Caedus emerges as the house lights come up. His hair hangs freely, bandanna covering the majority of his face, his eyes absent of emotion as he surveys the crowd of cheering APEX and/or Caedus marks and smarks as well as the BoBliophiles shouting insults, Fuck You and booing.
As the music continues he turns his attention to the ring and it's inhabitant(s) before advancing forward while carefully gathering his long blonde hair into a secured samurai-style bun. At ringside he removes his bandanna and scales the steps, ascending to the apron and stepping through the ropes into battle.
PIP: It’s Main Event time, and possible 24/7 briefcase time if your name is Jim Caedus and you retain for the fifth time.
HHL: You can’t put the horse before the race as they say, sleep on Michael Graves and you might end up paying the price. Look back to when Robert Main held the Xtreme Title this time last year he was poised to defend for a fifth time only to get caught by Reggie Estrada. Stanger things, Pip.
Jim and Graves walk out towards the center of the ring where they immediately lock up. Graves muscles Cadeus back into the ropes. He forces him there for several seconds before swinging with a right that Caedus evades and reverses the positioning with Graves back back against the ropes. Caedue looks to clothesline him out to the floor, Graves ducks and elevates Jim over the top rope and out to the ring apron.
Graves spins around swinging with a right hand! Jim blocks and counters with a right hand attempt that Graves blocks and counters with a headbut to the forehead before driving a shoulder block into the midsection! Graves looks for a sunset flip powerbomb as he sling shots over the top rope latching on to Jim’s legs who manages to clutch the top rope before countering with a right hand to the forehead breaking Micheal’s grip.
Caedus leaps off the apron with a double axe handle to Graves! The crowd pops for Caedus as he spins the challenger around before unloading with right hands mixed with stiff kicks to the quads of Graves who counters with a gouge to the eyes.
PIP: Last Man Standing, anything goes.
Graves takes over with hook shot to the body of Caedus before taking the Xtreme Champion and hurling him into one of the ring post! Caedus smacks off the post crumbling down to the mat. The referee is on the spot laying a count to Caedus.
1!
2!!
3!!
4!!
Caedus starts to push himself up off the floor. Graves comes around stomping Caedus breaking the count. Graves picks him up off the floor where he land a back fist rocking Caedus backward towards the announcers table.
Graves rushes towards Caedus who puts Graves through the announce table with a tilt-a-whirl slam bringing the crowd to their feet!
HHL: It might be over right now!
The crowd roars as Graves crashes through the table down to the floor. The referee starts to lay the count to Graves.
1!!
2!!
3!!
PIP: Graves is at our feet, literally.
HHL: I’m outta here, already been kidnapped by a LITERAL GORILLA tonight!!
Heather abandon’s ship as Graves slowly starts to stir.
4!!
5!!
6!!
PIP: Graves is pushing up off the floor, and there it is count has been broken.
Caedus comes forward yanking Graves by the hair where he fires him back into the ring under the bottom rope. Jim slides back into the ring as Heather rejoins commentary.
HHL: I have to protect myself, lord only knows PIP won’t.
Caedus is to his feet where he picks Graves up and delivers a T-Bone Suplex! The referee starts to count out Graves once again.
1!!
2!!
3!!
4!!
5!!
Graves rolls towards the ropes and out of the ring where he is on his feet breaking the count. Caedus charges towards the ropes looking for a baseball slide dropkick! Graves side steps as Caedus slides under the bottom rope out to the floor and into a Roundhouse Kick to the face dropping Caedus to the floor!
HHL: Back out to the floor they go, and I’m telling ya, if they come this way I’m out!
Graves waits for Caedus to get to one knee when he delivers a picture perfect shinning wizard to the temple of the Xtreme Champion before motioning for the referee to count.
1!!
2!!
3!!
4!!
5!!
Caedus starts to move around.
6!!
7!!
Caedus is back up to his feet breaking the count. Graves hammers away with right handed strikes before taking Jim by the hair and driving him face first into the top portion of the ring steps.
PIP: Graves is hell bent on playing spoiler to Jim Caedus tonight!
Graves starts choking away at Caedus before taking him and sending him crashing into the security barrier. Graves talks some shit to the crowd before charging towards Caedus who delivers a reverse elbow!
Jim comes off the security barrier latching on to a front waist lock where he delivers a belly to belly overhead release suplex into the security railing! The crowd roars in approval as the referee starts to lay the count to Graves!
1!!
2!!
3!!
PIP: Back and forth Graves and Caedus are going! It doesn’t end until one of them can’t reach the referee’s standing ten count.
HHL: That IS what a Last Man Standing is, thanks for clarifying.
4!!
5!!
6!!
HHL: Graves is starting to stir.
7!!
8!!
Graves uses the security railing to pull himself up breaking the count.
PIP: The challenger still has some fight left in him!
Caedus comes forward with a Purgatory Punch! Graves ducks out of harms way! Caeduse spins back around into GREEN MYST spit in his eyes!
HHL: Green Myst spat into the eyes by Graves! Ahhh that crafty little bastard!
Graves splits the champion in half with a Spear on the floor!
PIP: The green myst might have served it purpose because Caedus is down!
1!!
2!!
3!!
HHL: Graves might do it right here! Caedus isn’t moving!
4!!
5!!
6!!
Graves is shown going under the ring pulling a table out and sliding it into the ring as Jim starts to slowly stir.
7!!
Graves pulls out a second table where he slides it into the ring.
8!!
Jim reaches one knee before stepping up to his feet breaking the referee’s count. Graves decks Jim before hurling him into the ring. Michael climbs up on the ring apron where he then starts climbing up to the top ropes.
HHL: Graves is going up to the top!
Michael Graves is standing up on the top turnbuckle while Jim has gotten back to a vertical base. Graves comes off the top rope with a Missile Dropkick, Caedus side steps Graves sending him crashing and burning into the mat!
Caedus picks him up off the mat where he positions him and delivers a jumping Piledriver!
PIP: Graves was spiked head first into the mat!
The referee starts to lay the count to the challenger.
1!!
2!!
3!!
4!!
5!!
Graves starts to stir.
6!!
7!!
8!!
Graves pushes himself up off the mat back to his feet where he breaks the count. Jim comes forward rocking him with a PURGATORY PUNCH that sends Graves backward through the ropes spilling out to the floor!
HHL: Graves knocked back out to the floor! Caedus is starting to rearrange some furniture!
The referee starts to lay the count to Graves who lays out on the floor while in the ring Jim picks up a Table and leans it back against a set of turnbuckles.
1!!
2!!
3!!
Jim opens the legs of the second table and flips it over setting it up in the ring.
4!!
5!!
6!!
PIP: The tables are set!
HHL: Not funny.
7!!
8!!
Jim walks over reaching through the ropes for Graves who is nearing his feet but doesn’t see the steel chair! Graves clocks Caedus with the chair to the skull!
PIP: THAT MIGHT BE THE KNOCKOUT SHOT!
Caedus crumbles to the mat! The referee starts to lay the count to Caedus as he lays on the mat.
1!!
2!!
3!!
Graves rolls back into the ring where he uses the ropes to pull himself up to his feet.
4!!
5!!
6!!
Graves looks at the scenery as Caedus slowly starts to stir.
7!!
8!!
9!!
Jim steps up to his feet breaking the count to a huge ovation only to have Graves boot him in the midsection where he hurls Caedus through the table in the corner! Graves isn’t finished! He pulls Caedus to his feet where he sets him up for the GRAVES CONSEQUENCES!
HHL: Graves might play the spoiler afterall!
He picks up Caedus in position for a Razors Edge! Caedus breaks free as he slides down the back of Graves! He hoists up Graves delivering the KATABASIS through the table! The crowd erupts as the referee starts to lay the count to Graves.
1!!
2!!
3!!
PIP: Caedus might be on the cusp of a case!
4!!
5!!
6!!
Graves isn’t stirring.
7!!
8!!
9!!
10!!
WINNER AND STILL XTREME CHAMPION: JIM CAEDUS
PIP: Jim Caedus has successfully defended the Xtreme Championship for a fifth time.
The referee raises Caedus arm in the air while awarding him the Xtreme Championship.
HHL: Gotta give credit to Michaeel Graves because he brought Caedus a fight tonight on Warfare!
Micheal regained his wits and upon realizing his defeat, an angry scowl crept onto his face. With an agitated huff, Micheal pushed up to his feet and glared daggers into the back of Jim Caedus'.
PIP: "Micheal Graves doesn't look happy about that loss, Heather!"
HHL: "No he doesn't Pip, and worse yet, Jim doesn't see him coming!"
On uneasy legs, Graves stomps up behind Jim and swings him about-face! Jim doesn't back down one bit and immediately marches straight into Graves' face as the two stand nose to nose just begging the other to make the first move.
PIP: "Micheal Graves was KNOCKED-OUT-COLD just moments ago, and NOW he looks like he could fight all night!"
Both men back off slightly, realizing the other isn't going to make a move. Micheal slowly extends his hand while looking Jim in the eye.
HHL: "Well, I did not expect this!"
PIP: "I did! As soon as Jim accepts that gesture, Gravy's going to pop him upside of the head, just watch!"
Jim looks to the crowd to gauge their opinion, which is mixed at best. Jim looks at Graves' hand before locking eyes with the man himself. He slaps Micheal's hand away, leaving Graves dumbfounded for a moment before Jim steps in and wraps his thick muscular arms around Micheal and the two embrace!
HHL: "I thought for sure that we were about to see more of that all-out brawl!"
PIP: "We still could!"
Jim raises Micheal's arm as Graves pulls in a slightly more positive reaction with Jimmy's apparent approval! Graves and Jim share some words amongst themselves before Micheal exits the ring, leaving Jim to his moment.
PIP: "Wait, that's it!? Well, evidently Micheal Graves didn't regain his balls with that body!"
HHL: "I don't know, Pip, it's kind of refreshing to see Micheal Graves acting a little more mature."
PIP: "BAH!"
Derrick Diamond walks out to the top of the ramp with a 24/7 Briefcase!
PIP: To the victor goes the spoils as Derrick Diamond is on his way to present Jim Caedus with his golden ticket to any Championship at any time, a 24/7 Briefcase.
Derrick Diamond: Jim Caedus you have successfully defended the XWF Xtreme title 5 times and held it for 13 consecutive weeks. As such this 24/7 briefcase now belongs to you. Do with it as you wish.
Derrick Diamond reaches out and officially awards Jim his briefcase! Caedus reaches out and gladly accepts the case and immediately thrusts it into the air to the delight of the crowd who is now chanting APEX APEX APEX. Jim smiles at the crowd and then signals to the ring announcer that he’d like a microphone which the announcer immediately procures and tosses into Caedus’s open hand.
Jim Caedus: Thanks Derrick. And thank you to all 'a you out there chantin' our name. Apex has been synonymous with greatness since it’s inception and this case is just another notch in our belts. Another trophy for the case but it’s only a temporary one. You see this case right here…
Jim again holds the case up in the air for the crowd who eats up every second of it.
Jim Caedus:This case is just a stepping stone to bigger and better and while some might prefer to use this stepping stone to knock someone over the head with from behind and cash in on their blindesidedness... I'd rather lay it down right here and now and officially challenge Alias to a Universal Title match at Bad Medicine..
The crowd pops at the mention of Alias and the Universal title but Jim motions for them to calm their tits because he has more to say.
Jim Caedus: Now I know, I know, Alias already has a match at Bad Medicine. So do I in fact. TWO of 'em but see...there ain’t a badder muhfucker in this place than me so what the fuck's three matches when you already have two? Consider this case the equivalent of me invitin' myself into the already established Universal Title match between Alias and Lycana. We’re gonna make it a triple threat and we're gonna tear the fuckin' house down…
The crowd which was already cheering at Jim’s announcement continues to do so with a smattering of boos mixed in as Theo Pryce comes out from the back and stands at the top of the ramp, mic already in hand.
Theo Pryce: Hey Jim how you doing? Congrats on that briefcase of yours. Look I was in the back on my way out of the arena when I heard what you just said and well I would be remiss if I didn’t come out here and pour a little water on your wants and desires. Yes it’s true that with that case you can pretty much insert yourself into any title match you want, with or without warning and had you just shown up at the end of the Universal Title match at Bad Medicine and cashed in there isn’t much I can do to stop you but you being you, you had to go and spill the tea on your own plans and because you did I’m here to tell you that you WILL NOT be adding yourself to the already booked Universal Title match next Sunday. Alias and Lycana have been building towards this match for a long time. They deserve to face each other one on one without you being involved. You want to use your case to get a match with the champ after that? By all means.
Jim shakes his head, a "wtf" expression on his face, an exhaled "laugh" escapes before- Jim Caedus: This is absolute horseshit and you know it.....but fine, I’ll play by your rules...Boss Pryce. I can’t have a shot at the PPV then I want the VERY NEXT Universal Title match that gets booked. I don’t care when or where but it’s mine.
Theo Pryce: I hear you Jim. I do but you see I already granted the first post Bad Medicine Universal Title shot to someone else. It was actually part of his contract negotiations when he agreed to sign with the XWF.
Jim Caedus: Whoa whoa whoa...what? When WHO agreed to sign with the XWF?
Theo Pryce: A friend of yours actually. Or maybe you guys aren't friends I'm not really sure. I've heard you guys have had some scrapes over at some place called Thunder Pro Wrestling. Anyway I'm talking about "The Janitor" Peter Vaughn.
Before the crowd can even react Peter Vaughn appears on the stage next to Theo Pryce with a big grin on his face.
[theo]Theo Pryce: So Jim if you want a shot at the Universal Title you can absolutely have one but you're gonna have to wait until after Peter gets his. Sorry Jim I'm sure you think this is completely unfair and part of some grand conspiracy to keep you down but the truth is I did what I had to do to close the deal. Peter Vaughn makes the XWF better. I made the XWF better. And because I did you get to wait your turn. Good luck at Bad Medicine Jim. I have a feeling you're gonna need it.
An incredulous Jim Caedus stands in the middle of the ring shouting at both Theo and Peter Vaughn when suddenly BAM MILLER slides into the ring behind Caedus with a referee rolling him up with a School Boy!
1!!
2!!
THRE..
Caedus kicks out as Bam quickly escapes out to the floor showing Caedus how close he was to beating him for the Xtreme Championship with a smirk on his face as he jumps the barricade into the crowd, snatching a cup of beer along the way.
PIP: What a wild way to end Warfare! Tune in next Thursday Night for a very special edition of Thanksgiving Anarchy, but before that DO NOT MISS Bobby Bourbon versus Matt Knox as a part of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade!
HHL: Whatever you do… DO NOT miss Bad Medicine! Good night!!
Warfare fades.
Credits:
Mark Flynn
Thad Duke
Chris Page
SBW - Smoking Bob Williams
Corey Smith
Jim Caedus
Charlie Nickels
Warfare concluded, it transitions out as the XWF theme once again blares up and the face of XWF Ring Announcer Tig, O'Bitties fills the screen. Microphone in hand, the backstage interview area sets the backdrop. Music fades and a beaming Tig excitedly begins the show.
"Welcome XWF Universe to the first edition of the XWF Pantheon Post-Show were we will overview the new Atara Themis Pantheon Rankings and keep you up to date on the current picture of the XWF Superstars.
We are fast approaching Bad Medicine and the action is getting more intense as we wind down to what is sure to be another exciting XWF Pay Per View.
Keep in mind, the Pantheon is new and as each week concludes the superstar picture will become more clear but for the time being let's take a look at what we've seen so far and as always, you can get a more indepth view at XWF99.com/GoddessPantheon.
The title picture at XWF was proven pretty stable this cycle with no changes. Betsy Granger had a solid defense and X-Treme Champion Jim Caedus successfully defended his belt not once, but twice the same night. Centurion retained the Anarchy title and we've yet to see Alias or Corey Smith in action. That all changes at Bad Medicine however so get those tickets while still available. We did see the Tag Champions be successful but it wasn't in defense. Impressive showing nonetheless.
We've had a lot of exciting match ups this cycle and the rankings are slowly filling out but most impressively is the performance of former a champion in Charlie Nickels. Winning Saturday Savages T.V. Contender tournament he's out himself at the top of the pack with an impressive 3 win streak and a shot at the Impossible Traveler at Bad Medicine.
As for the shows themselves and for the coveted bragging rights of being the A Show, Wednesday Warfare topped the ratings with an impressive 94 Score on Themis Ratings scale while Savage and Anarchy matched each other with a total of 61.
That concludes this edition of the Pantheon Post-Show. Thanks for watching, I am Tig O'Bitties and as always for the best in wrestling tune into the X-Treme Wrestling Federation.
The Action Never Stops.
[i 3×
2×
1×
2x Freestyle Champion
1× Federweight Champion
2× Heavymetalweight Champion
1x Fade 2 Black High Voltage Champion
1x Fight NYC! Brooklyn Champion
1x Fight NYC! Island Champion
1x PWV Anthem Champion
#29 XWF Top 50 2021
AW Top 100 2021
#13 EFed Podcast Top 100 2022
#67 Efed Podcast Top 100 2021
Corey... Bad Medicine just isn't getting here fast enough...
...Is it?
82-31-1
1x XWF Universal Champion || 3x XWF Xtreme Champion || 1x XWF Supercontinental Champion (First)
1x XWF Hart Champion (Last) || 2x XWF Television Champion || 1x XWF Tag Team Champion
1x OCW Savage Champion || 1x IIW Tag Team Champion || 1x AAW United States Champion
2x SOTM (9/20, 7/21) || 2021 Male Wrestler of the Year || XWF Hall of Legends
The following 2 users Like Thaddeus Duke's post:2 users Like Thaddeus Duke's post "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane (11-19-2021), JimCaedus (11-17-2021)
We FADE IN on none other than the XWF X-Treme Champion and NEW Mr. 24/7Jim Caedus exiting the Smoothie King Arena here in New Orleans, Louisiana, showing signs of the battering he took at the hands of Graves earlier yet still taking the time to sign shit for fans and pose for pics and selfies before hauling his strap, 'case and ass over to his 007'd-out Team APEX custom Harley- "Ewrecktion" -in the secured talent lot.
Setting the 24/7 Briefcase and X-Treme strap down, he fishes his keys from his pocket and unlocks the closest side cargo box, then turns to stoop and grab the Briefca-
-BAM MILLER charges in from out of frame with a full speed shoulder block, powering Jim backward into and flipping him awkwardly over "Ewrecktion"!! He lands in a heap.
mmmmmOTHER FUCKER!!
Jim rises painfully, enraged, to see Bam toting the X-Treme Championship and laughing.
Vaulting over his Harley. That's the last time, cocksucker...
Putting on a sudden burst of speed in a sprint, Jim rockets towards Bam who spins and runs. Jim narrows the distance rather quickly but still-
COME 'ERE!!
-not expecting Bam to put on the brakes and spin to connect with a STIFF kick to Jim's sexy, sexy chiseled abs, immediately followed up by
M
I
L
L
E
R
T
I
M
E
Bam's Stunner finisher!!!!
He calls for the referee already hightailing it to the scene. The ref baseballs slides- Jesus H. Asphalt -into position with a grimace of pain!
1!
2!!
3!!!
NO!! Jim BARELY beats the 3 count with a KICK OUT!!
Bam slaps the pavement and rises to his feet then stoops to retrieve the X-Treme Title. He wraps it around his waist, snapping it tightly into position and raises his arms, turning to the gathering mass of fans who mostly boo, though the Top Guy Slayer's antics as of late seem to have picked up a growing pocket of support who cheer and egg him on to pin Jim again as he recovers. Bam shakes his head, turning back to the X-Treme Champ still out on the ground.
Bam Miller:
That's fine Jim, pinning you on a night after the show is already over isn't how I want my moment to come to pass anyway. That moment is meant for a Grander Stage, Like Bad Medicine, a place where I will inject a cure to wipe out parasites like you from the top of this company. Your time is almost up, Jim, tick-tock Champ, Miller Time is about to pass you by.
Bam walks over to the fans and takes a Miller Lite beer bottle from an older gentleman. He pops open a Miller Lite and takes a few sips, then looks at Jim and starts to pour the rest on this head.
Bam Miller:
Drink Up Jim! Here is your horse piss!
Jim violently jerks out of the way of the cascading liquid as it slaps him back to full lucidity and Bam flings it aside, unsnaps the X strap, holds it aloft once more to the pop of his fans, then tosses it onto the champ's chest and turns to leave-
-only to pause and turn back once more, a wicked grin crossing his face...he runs over to Jim's Harley and snatches the keys Jim dropped when he was shoulder blocked!!
Jim instantly realizes what's going on and rises as quickly as he can to his feet as Bam hops onto the chopper.
Hey- hey, HEY!! HEY!! Sprinting back over.
As "Ewrecktion" roars to life, Jim dashes forward with a WREXUS PLEXUS aimed for Miller's skull-
-hitting air as Bam zooms off!
FUCK!! Staring after his chopper... FUUUUUUUUUUCK!!
Several seconds pass, the Harley's rumble fading...
Draining of emotion, Jim grabs his Briefcase, walks back to the X-Treme Championship and snatches it- swinging it over his right shoulder -spits, pulls his phone from his pocket and- not wanting to bother Arcana -opens the Uber app.
ooc: Graves that was a lotta fun, thank you for coming so hard at me my brother
Much respect to whoever wrote that match, that was fuckin' hardcore, thank you 💙
Kickass job from all involved, that was an excellent card from top to bottom fam, segs and matches
Shout out to Gator/Noah Jackson for this kickass banner
~XWF ALL TIME TOP 50 - #6!!!! <3
~Efed Podcast Top 100 - #74 w/no Twitter (all credit to you, fam, 🙏 <3)
~XWF UNIVERSAL CHAMPION - 2x
~XWF XTREME CHAMPION - 2x
~XWF TAG TEAM CHAMPION w/Chaos then Engy, w/APEX x2 - 3x
~XWF 24/7 Briefcase - 3x
~XWF Trio Tag Champion w/Ax3 - 1x
~XWF Television Champion - 1x (undefeated)
~XWF Federweight Champion - 2x
~XWF Triple Title Holder - 1x (TV, Federweight & 24/7 case)
~XWF Double Title Holder - 5x (TV/Fedr, Uni/Trio, Tag/24/7, X/24/7 & Uni/Tag)
~XWF 2017 Lethal Lottery IV Tournament winner!!
~XWF 2017 Leap of Faith Rafter Match winner!!
~XWF 2017 2nd Annual Doc D'Ville Shove-It Rumble Co-Winner w/Chaos!!
~XWF 2017 War Games Co-Winner with Rob Main & Drew Archyle as APEX!!
~XWF Feb. 2017 J. Federweight Scramble Winner!!
~XWF January 2017 RP of the Month!! - "Like a Moth to the Flame"
~XWF February 2017 Star of the Month!!
~XWF March 2017 3-Way Star of the Month!!
~XWF September 2017 RP of the Month!! - "Lions & Tigers & Caedus, Oh Shit"
~XWF July 2021 QOTM!! - line from "Took It All"
~XWF October 2021 RP of the Month!! - "This Just In" audio
~XWF November 2021 Star of the Month!! (3rd time!!!!!!)
~XWF Match of the Year 2021 w/Bourbsy!! - X-Treme, Flynn's Audio Shove-It