SEVERAL HOURS EARLIER

3 AM - XWF Headquarters - Fifth Floor - Science Division

"Welp. I've backed myself into a corner on this one."

Flynn had raised $175 million dollars in R&D into the relationship between pin attempts and climate change.

Had, in hours, proved there was a connection between climate change and pin attempts.

Found an island of talking animals that irrefutably proved SOMETHING was happening with the planet.

...And somehow, the people, instead of rallying around him to prevent pins... Making a giant, impenetrable human shield. They were DEMANDING that HE not kick-out.

"I gotta tell you, XWF Climate Scientists, I don't think anyone has ever been not listened to harder than I've been not listened to..."

A Climate scientist reels back to punch Flynn in the face. But, he's prevented by two or three others, who assure him that Flynn isn't worth it...

...

Flynn exhales, turning toward the angry parking lot, just as the protestors smash Theo Pryce's car.

...

"I mean, silver linings..."

...

Flynn's eyes widen.

"Wait... Linings... LINING!" Flynn spins toward the XWF Climate Scientists.

"Everyone, drop what you're doing!"

...

"Whatever it is. Honestly, I don't understand why the XWF even has a Climate Science division."

"....We're currently working on a new kind of rubber to make ring ropes produce 30% less waste..."

"Well, KNOCK IT OFF! And listen..."

***

BACK TO THE PRESENT

A dark, ominous cloud covers XWF City and lightning begins to clash....

"If he kicks out......  We're all done for!"

A referee riding by on a bike jumps off and rushes over into position.....

1!

2!

THR-

Flynn, like bait on a fishing line, is reeled backwards six feet! The length of his body! He slips out from under Dock like a greased pig!

...Dock looks perturbed! But, Flynn hasn't done much to lift himself up off the ground...

"For the planet."

Dock just goes for another pi-

Before he can, Flynn slides again on the ground, dragging ass on the pavement.

"Ah, ah, hot, hot, hot!"

Meanwhile, on the Fifth Floor, the Climate Science Team is working together to turn a crank, dragging Flynn off his feet. Every turn of the crank is not only dragging Flynn back toward the office, so he doesn't have to kick out, it's also powering electrical alternatives to coal and gas!

"I'm a her-OW I found a way to ...OW! kick-out without kicking out!" Flynn says as the fishing line around his waist drags him back towards the office.

"BOOOOOOOOOOO!" The crowd bellows. "TAKE THE PIN! AND SAVE THE PLANET!"

"That's-OW! NOT even what the dat-OW! indicates!" Flynn says, as the line drags him back inside the front door.

"YOU'RE A MONSTER!" Cry out the protestors in unison as they pelt the front door Flynn just disappeared inside of with...  Plastic Six-Pack Rings?

Kind of a symbolic message, I guess, but also? Littering!

Me gorilla.

While this happen, at XWF City Municipal Beach, (no go swim, get Hepatitis!), Animal Beach Party. 40 squirrels there. Taco there. Hot Dog there. Air Bud, big celebrity cameo. Cameo by Red Panda from Disney/Pixar period peice (fun joke hahahaha).

Jabberjaw show up! Husks of what used to be the surviving Beach Boys all take stage too!

MISFITS HEADQUARTERS
MIAMI, FLORIDA

Watching what had gone down with Mark Flynn, and the protestors and Doc pinning Flynn, and then Flynn being ripped away by the fishing line.  He takes out his phone and calls a lawyer.

"Yes it's me, are you watching the live feed?   Is that legal what Mark Flynn did?  It doesn't sound legal, by rights the Doc should still have him pinned, and he hasn't really escaped, has he?"

The camera fades out.

Doc poofs out of nowhere into Antony the Jerk's office eating a dill pickle.

Hello, my friend!  Not to interrupt your phone call by any means, so I deeply apologize, but I would like to point out that when Mark Flynn barely slipped out of my grasp "like a greasy pig", I was no longer pinning his shoulders to the pavement.  Therefore, I would say that he escaped.  Thanks but no thanks for your senseless two cents, Mister Jerk.  On your way now.

Me gorilla.

Why interrupt best part of Animal Beach Party? Animal bonfire, roast marshmallow, Air Bud still here, Josie and Pussycats up. Hired bands from Hanna Barbera. Best animal band. Not animal, make Animal Beach Party special.

Antony Jerk mind own business. Animal Beach Party thumpin' out here, out at XWF City Beach. Protesters all calm down, have apples. All eat apple, me favorite. You ruin apples and Jem and The Holograms.

Antony is a Ned.

(05-17-2023, 08:59 PM)AntonyTheJerk Said: MISFITS HEADQUARTERS
MIAMI, FLORIDA

Watching what had gone down with Mark Flynn, and the protestors and Doc pinning Flynn, and then Flynn being ripped away by the fishing line.  He takes out his phone and calls a lawyer.

"Yes it's me, are you watching the live feed?   Is that legal what Mark Flynn did?  It doesn't sound legal, by rights the Doc should still have him pinned, and he hasn't really escaped, has he?"

The camera fades out.

At the Animal Beach Party, Hotdog raises head from where he was eating one of the Gorilla's delicious apples out of one of The Pussycat Dolls' peaches.

"Oink ooiinnk oink oink?"

SMAAAAAAAAAAAASH CUT!

To Mark Fly-... Wait, no, he has a false mustache, it's Christopher K. Clinton!

"Are you going after the X-Treeeeeeeeeme Title? Are you aware that Mark Flynn doesn't sleep, so it's nigh impossible to catch him off-guard, so now YOU'RE trying to manipulate the law to trick him into dropping the belt?"

Dramatic spin toward the camera!

"My name is Christopher K. Clinton! And I have successfully legal'd my way into one X-Treme title win for my clients! Now, EVERY LAWYER under the sun seems to think they're an X-Treme Title Lawyer."

"CAVEMEN!"

"JERKS!"

"And so on!"

Dramatic spin toward the camera. "Don't settle for second best! If you want to trick the X-Treme Title holder into dropping his belt by weaponizing the law, call the original X-Treme Title Lawyer! Christopher K. Clinton!"

Clinton is at the talking animal beach party.

"Don't delay, call tod-"

...Clinton gets distrated and turns around...

"There's something off about that camel in a trenchcoat..."

Indeed, Joe Camel is talking to a lady camel wearing trenchcoat, (trying to seal the deal to take her home and examine her hump). Her face looks... stiff.

...Clinton creeps up behind... And tugs down her coat!

GASP! It is NOT a lady camel, but two men in a camel costume! They panickedly scatter!

"That's right, you get outta here! This is a talking ANIMAL beach party!"

Clinton clears his throat, bowing his head.

"Carry on, talking animals. If any of you ever need an attorney, you know who to call."

(05-16-2023, 10:30 PM)Doctor Louis D'Ville Said:

"Oh no!  It looks like...  Is that Charlie Nickles?!  NO!  It's some homeless guy!"

editorial note: that homeless man was, in fact, Charlie Nickles! Now carry on!

Two men round a corner, having being chided for impersonating a camel in some ruse to seduce the famous cigarette spokesperson and general man about town: from riding motorcycles to shooting pool to hanging out with human women in bikinis, Joe Camel has done it all. Generally pleased they'd given that pesky lawyer type the slip, the snake that's kept in a bag under the XWF ring slithers up next to it. At that precise moment the men doff their second disguise, proving the ruse WAS the ruse, and it was 40 squirrels in two people costumes in a camel costume. The squirrels all mount up on the official XWF bag snake and enact their final devastating plan for Animal Beach Party.

THE QUETZALCOATL PANOPLY. (dooooom)

The 40 squirrels fan out and form wings atop bag snake as it slithers at full speed, Squirrel 41 sitting at the top of the snake's head. It takes graceful and beautiful flight, and the 41st Squirrel pulls out a microphone as they buzz the stage, and Squirrel 41 is the next musical act as it flies around on two XWF staples merged into one to form a love dragon.

"Hiss."