SUNDAY MAY 30TH LIVE FROM THE MOTHER F'NG MOON
Pre Show Opener
Dean Rose
w/Sarah Michelle Gellar
- vs -
Liam Roberts One Pinfall
Savage Rules
Pay Per View Opening Match
Osiria Themis
- vs -
Centurion Standard One Fall
Savage Rules
Terry Borden
- vs -
Hawk Hendricks
- vs -
NorthKoreanWarCriminal
- vs -
Jordan Knoxville Four Corners Match - Standard One Fall
Winner receives a singles title shot of their choosing - Hart, TV or Xtreme
Savage Rules
Dick Powers
- vs -
Dolly Waters Standard Match
1 Roleplay - No Word Limit
Corey Smith
- vs -
R.L. Edgar
- vs -
Demos
- vs -
Money Oswald
- vs -
Jim Caedus
- vs -
Corporate Chaos
- vs -
Sil Frigida
- vs -
Thrax
- vs -
Rel Dixon
- vs -
Dock
This match will start in the ring before proceeding up to the rafters of the arena Space Station before finally culminating in the winner grabbing the winning 24/7 Briefcase in the 3rd level of the set up which is a room with Zero G. In addition there are multiple fake cases in the Zero G room. Only ONE case contains the coveted 24/7 Briefcase
Warfare Rules
Apex is barred from ring side. Any Apex interference results in an automatic DQ for Robert Main.
Thunder Knuckles is the official referee. Miss Fury is the time keeper and Bobby Bourbon the match enforcer.
Universal Title RP Rules
HHL: Ladies and gentlemen, fans of the XWF Universe welcome to LEAP OF FAITH...Live from...and I can't believe I actually get to say this The Moon.
Pip: I don't know about you H but I sure as hell enjoyed that 36 hour cryosleep. In fact I haven't slept that good in years.
HHL: Now that you mention it Pip, neither have I. And with that out of the way we are ready for our first match of the night. Dean Rose and Liam Roberts.
The lights go bright gold and purple, Sarah M.G walks out from behind the curtain dressed in a beautiful outfit. She smiles and points at the curtain. Out walks Dean Rose, his music begins playing as he swaggers down the
Liam Roberts makes his way to the ring.
Pre Show Opener
Dean Rose
w/Sarah Michelle Gellar
- vs -
Liam Roberts One Pinfall
Savage Rules
The audience continues to trickle into the building as the bell rings. Dean and Liam Roberts slowly start circling each other, both unwilling to make the first move. Dean takes a step towards Liam, then immediately retracts it. Liam raises a hand as if he’s going to move in for a strike on Dean, but then he lowers his hand and continues to circle.
Pip: Somebody’s going to have to do something here…..
Sarah Michelle-Gellar yells at Dean to make a move, but he drowns out her bitching as he always does. As the crowd begins to grow in size their boos begin to grow louder. Dean and Liam continue circling each other with no intention of making a move.
BANG!
The fire exit at the back of the room opens with an explosion! The fans desperately put back on their space helmets as a pack of COSMONAUTS burst into the arena! The cosmonauts converge onto the ring immediately! Dean and Liam begin cho
Pip: Thank god our announce table is fully equipped with oxygen tanks and helmets!
HHL: It’s really convenient!
Some of the slower individuals in the stands begin choking and going blue as they are too slow to put on their helmets and suits. Meanwhile, in the ring, Dean Rose and Liam Roberts are getting the shit kicked out of them by nearly half a dozen Soviet Cosmonauts.
Pip: I wonder if Demos has something to do with this!
Heather: I knew he was a Russian spy!
Sarah Michelle Gellar collapses to the ground as the loss of oxygen sets in. Meanwhile, the cosmonauts begin dragging Liam Roberts and Dean Rose out of the arena and towards the fire exit.
Pip: They’re kidnapping our rising stars!
The cosmonauts drag the unconscious Dean and Liam out of the fire exit and disappear as absolute chaos ensues inside the building. Mothers are fretting for their children, Sarah is laying unconscious at ringside, and oxygen is escaping the building…..until our hero comes to save the day!
Little Feather, fully decked out in a high tech space suit branded with the XWF logo, hops out of the backstage area with a whole new door! The zero gravity of the moon has penetrated the building’s exterior, allowing Little Feather to fly over to the exit! Little Feather pushes the door into the empty space before securing it with a drill!
Heather: Little Feather sure is dreamy. I’d love to see him on a card one day!
Pip: Little Feather just saved the whole entire pay per view! But what did those damn Russians do with Liam & Dean?!?!
Heather: Whatever they want with them, it can’t be good!
NO CONTEST - KIDNAPPING
Backstage, Betsy Granger is pacing around, her hands behind her back. She looks around occasionally, as if searching for something in the shadows, before lowering her head and falling back into her thoughts. Not a camera is in sight, as this meeting was for no eyes but her and the person she hoped to meet her tonight. The last several weeks had proven stressful enough, but the confusion with some of the people involved had only vexed her further. As she follows this rabbit hole, the slightest sweep of a foot against the pavement causes her to pause and tilt her head to the side.
Betsy Granger: I was beginning to wonder if you would come.
A figure separates itself from the gloom, taking on the lithe outline of a woman. A voice floats out of the dimness as she walks towards Betsy.
“As if I could resist your Siren’s call.”
She steps out into the light, sapphire hair gleaming as her lips curve upwards in a feral smile, eyes skimming over The Impossible Traveler.
Lycana: Hello darling.
A smirk plays at Betsy’s lips at Lycana’s choice of words before disappearing completely. She studies Lycana closely as the blue-haired beauty gets closer, falling completely into the light now.
Betsy Granger: Thank you for meeting here. I’m guessing you made certain no one followed you?
Betsy looks around again, as if to be absolutely positive for herself. Lycana steps up to her, leaving mere inches between them as she studies her rivals face.
Lycana: Of course. I can’t deny that I’m… intrigued by all of this secrecy that's coming along with you wanting to see me alone. So clandestine.
Unable to resist, she reaches out and takes ahold of a lock of Betsy’s hair, letting the molten gold strands falls in a silken cascade through her fingers, as she smirks at her.Betsy jerks her head away involuntarily, knowing full well that she had just played right into Lycana’s games. Letting out a breath between her lips, she nods her head and starts again.
Betsy Granger: We haven’t had a proper chance to chat after March Madness… or our match… or ever, to be fair. I feel the time has come that we should.
Lycana: I couldn't agree more.
Her eyes grow harder.
Lycana: I’ve a few questions of my own for you… but since you asked me here. Would you care to begin?
Betsy matches Lycana’s hard gaze with one of her own as emerald eyes meet sapphire. A flashback hits Betsy and something in Lycana’s eyes gives away one of the questions she had for Betsy. A gasp escaped her lips as she takes a clumsy step backward from Lycana.
Betsy Granger: You remember, don’t you?
A harsh laugh cut short emerges from the Dark Vixen of Violence. She nods her affirmation, arms coming up to cross over her chest.
Lycana: I do. I remember it all Betsy. Candyland. Being locked away in that pod. Being left behind by my own home. But what I don't know… is why. That’s why I'm here.
A look of genuine guilt crosses the face of the Impossible Traveler as her gaze softens for a moment.
Betsy Granger: I admit that my handling of that situation wasn’t the best. You were never supposed to wake up in that pod; I never thought you’d remember. That’s no excuse for my actions, that actually sounds super shitty. Allow me to try that again.
She clears her throat and spreads out her hands in front of her.
Betsy Granger: I don’t know why you were chosen along with the other’s. I’m sorry you are plagued by what happened; part of why I handled things as I did was to spare the rest of you the memories of being used for nefarious purposes. But you remember, so you have every right to know as much as I do. The fact is, there are people after me; they’ve been after me for quite some time. More and more, I’ve found myself in an instance of distorted realities, using themes that align with my life in some way, shape, or form. Candyland was the first time I’d ever come out of one of them on my own. Someone is after me and has been my entire life because…
Betsy pauses as she realizes she’s beginning to ramble; a raised eyebrow from Lycana confirms this.
Betsy Granger: I’m sorry you got sucked into that bullshit. But it’s part of why I called you here; I’m not the only one with weird shit surrounding them, am I?
Lycana: What are you?
The question was direct, simple, yet beyond complicated. She shakes her head, taking a mental step backwards, deciding to give in and acknowledge Betsy’s own question directed at her. She sighs deeply.
Lycana: Weird shit? You know the answer to that one. You aren't the only one. You did hint at a few things awhile back, I know that you aren't a fool Bets, as much as I may tease you about it. I’m not going to lie and tell you that I am normal, and that there is nothing odd about me.
Betsy Granger: That’s why you’re the only one I can talk to about this.
She nods as she says this last, drawing a surprised look from her rival. Holding out her hand in between them she closes her eyes and concentrates for a moment. In seconds, a small burst of phasma-energy appears in the palm of her hand, illuminating the dim space around them.
Betsy Granger: You asked what I am; the stone cold truth of the situation is, I don’t know. I was told one thing, I’ve recently discovered another and… Well, there is really no one else around here who would understand this position better than you.
Closing her fingers over her palm, she puts out the ball and continues to gaze steadily at Lycana.
Betsy Granger: Why have you been helping me?
Something flickers across Lycana’s eyes, gone in an instant as she considers the question. She opens her mouth, then closes it, as the silence stretches between them. Finally, it is broken.
Lycana: I don't know.
She laughs without humor.
Lycana: And that's the truth. There is something about you that has always drawn me in. Something about the fire in your spirit that called to me. I always thought that I was meant to douse that flame, to put you out. But now… I’m not so sure. Because it doesn't feel quite right, that there is something deeper pulling us together. Atara, she annoys me. I’ve never hidden the fact that I despise her, from the moment I walked in here… but the fact that it was you she was attacking made it…. Different.
Silence falls between them, louder than any words that had passed between thus far. They maintain their steady gazes, as though trying to read into one another’s deepest thoughts. Finally, Betsy nods and crosses her own arms over her chest.
Betsy Granger: Atara is a piece of work alright, so maybe we can chalk this up as coming together for the sake of a common bond. But I have one more request for you before we part ways.
She tilts her head to the side, clear curiosity and intrigue lighting up her features.
Betsy Granger: I showed you mine… Might I get a clearer look at yours, under less uh… extreme circumstances?
The smile she flashes Lycana is obnoxiously angelic. Lycana’s answering one was full of grudging respect. Silently, she begins to disrobe, methodically placing each garment on a nearby forklift, neatly and unhurriedly. Down to her undergarments, she takes a few steps into an open area, looking Betsy in the eyes as her own start to shimmer a glowing lilac hue.
The glow seems to get brighter as Lycana’s body shifts, stretching and changing right before Betsy’s eyes. In what seemed to be no time at all, a black wolf stands in the spot the woman had just been residing in, the fragmented remnants of her underthings in tatters on the concrete. Canine eyes regard her with unnerving intelligence as her tongue caresses her teeth.
Betsy stares in awe, her face transforming with Lycana herself. Emerald orbs take in with strange ease what would send other’s into paralyzed horror. As lilac eyes stare at her from dog-like features, Betsy approaches the beast before her. Her breath is ragged as her heart pounds in her chest as she reaches out and runs her fingers gently between Lycana’s ears. With a deep breath she takes a step back and nods, turning away to give Lycana her modesty.
The wolf trots near the forklift, and with a weird flicker, she is back to human once more, the long, graceful curve of her back the only thing to be seen as she looks over her shoulder.
Lycana: You know, you’re lucky that Lane’s special magic killer doesn't work here.
She sends the remark towards Betsy as she slips her clothing back on. Betsy chuckles merrily.
Betsy Granger: Yeah, of cooooourse it was luck.
A laugh floats back towards Betsy. Lycana strolls back, glancing down at what was left of her bra and panties.
Lycana: And that I pack extras.
Betsy Granger: You must have been a Girl Scout.
Lycana snorts at the notion.
Lycana: Let’s not push it.
She reluctantly offers the Impossible Traveler a genuine smile.
Lycana: I don’t know what's going to happen, but I think we are far from done with one another.
Betsy Granger: Indeed not…
Reaching into her pocket as she steps forward, she holds her hand out, fist closed. Lycana leans in, looking warily at Betsy before looking down at her hand. Opening her fist, Lycana is taken in by brilliantly red stone. Taking it into her hands, she is surprised by the heat that fights the smoothness of the surface. Holding to her eye, she could almost see the stone swirling like molten lava.
She manages to pull her gaze away long enough to lock eyes with Betsy once more, a silent understanding passing between them, but she is unable to keep the surprise off her normally stoic facade. She cocks her head to the side, almost questioningly, before nodding her acceptance without giving voice to them.
Betsy Granger: I don’t know why, but we’re linked. The strands of fate have brought us together for something bigger… I don’t know what and I don’t know why… but…
Her voice falters as she finds herself at a loss for words for once.
Lycana: I can’t say I understand what's going on, or that I even like it… but I feel something on the horizon as well. When it arrives, I will answer your call, and we will handle it.
She pauses.
Lycana: Together.
Silence falls between them once more as they reach an understanding. Together, they turn back towards the arena and towards their respective clans.
Osira Themis makes her way to the stage wearing a devilish grin as the fans boo her presence.
PC: Heather, the contest between these next two competitors is a rivalry that has been building a long time.
HHL: Make no mistake about. Centurion does not like Osira Themis, and Osira Themis couldn’t give a damn either way. This should be one helluva match!
Osira steps up on the ring apron, and takes her time, bending over slowly between the ropes and winking at the camera before entering the ring.
The fans roar has Centurion’s music hit’s the speakers!
Centurion makes his way out to the ramp, no smiles, no waves. He’s all business tonight! He does slap a few hands on his way to the ring without looking, but stops just at the apron and points up at Osira who is bouncing around in the ring and swinging her fists. Centurion climbs up the steps and through the ropes. The bitter foe meet in the center of the ring exchanging some inaudible trash talk as the ref steps to pull them away from one another.
PC: It’s Centurion!
HHL: It’s Osira Themis!
PC: And it’s LIVE! Right now!
Pay Per View Opening Match
Osiria Themis
- vs -
Centurion Standard One Fall
Savage Rules
The ref calls for the bell as this match starts out at a chaotic pace. The thz press from Osiar gets things going as she has Centurion pinned to the mat and starts pelting him with strikes.
PC: Say what you will about Osira Themis, she has some of the meanest looking attacks I’ve ever seen! And they’re effective!
But Cent isn’t afraid to get down in the weeds, he sends a palm strike right up to Osira’s nose, busting her open early! But it’s like Osira doesn’t even notice. She grows and twists her fingers through Cent’s hair, pulling his head up from the mat and cracking him across the face with a stiff knee.
Centurion’s nose is now busted open as well as he flops back to the mat. Osira stays on him, cracking him in the side of the skull with another knee strike that sends the side of Centurion’s face whipping into the bottom turnbuckle pad. She grabs him by the hair again and lifts the staggering Centurion to a base. She holds onto the hair and starts wailing on his face.
ONE PUNCH! TWO PUNCHES! THREE PUNCHES!
PC: OH GOD! OSIRA IS IN FULL CONTROL HERE EARLY ON!
SHE KEEPS PUNCHING! 7! 8! 9! 10!
HHL: WHAT TEN COUNT?!
Osira beats Centurion senselessly, at least twenty brutal punches to the face and head. She hoists him up and lifts him to the turnbuckle. AN OVERHEAD BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX FROM THE MIDDLE ROPE!
Osira covers!
1!
2!!
NO!!!
Centurion kicks out!
PC: After an unbelievable onslaught by Osira, Centurion somehow finds a way to get a shoulder up. That’s got to be frustrating.
HHL: Yeah, but look at Osira! She’s laughing!
Osira starts working on Centurion’s head again. A fierce elbow strike sends Centurion collapsing into the ropes! Osira goes for a hip attack, But Cent dodges and grabs Osira by the waist, taking her down on her neck with a snap german suplex. It takes Centurion a moment to recover as he just sits up on his rear, breathing heavily, blood staining his face and hair.
But from out of nowhere! Osira climbs on Cents back and locks in a guillotine choke! Centurion flails his arms and desperately tries to avoid being pulled down to the mat as Osira strangles him. Centurion's eyes roll back as his arms fall and go limp. Osira pulls him down to the mat…
BUT A SUDDEN RUSH OF STRENGTH!
Centurion finds himself under his knee. He stands up, Osira still latched to his back and takes off running backward, smashing the Themis sister into the corner, breaking the hold. Osira lands on her feet but has the wind knocked out of her. As soon as she looks up, Centurion delivers a stiff attack of his own. A brutal forearm across the bridge of her nose sends Osira crashing to her bottom, and leaning in the corner. Centurion charges at her and connects flush with a running knee.
He covers Osira.
1!
2!!
NO!!!
Themis just kicks out… BUT SHE DOESN’T JUST KICK OUT!
Osira grabs Centurion by the head and latches onto his ear with her teeth, while simultaneously smashing her knee into his gut. She stands, and in an incredible… Un-friggin’-believable act of strength lifts Centurion up over her head like she’s reading for a gorilla press. But instead she drops him face first into the turnbuckle with snake eyes.
Cent crashes face first on the turnbuckle pad and lands on his feet, stumbling backward where he turns around and is met with a slingshot suplex!
Osira covers this time!
1!
2!!
NO!!!
Centurion kicks out again!
PC: Osira isn’t laughing this time Heather! She’s beside herself screaming at the ref!
Osira gets in the official’s face, asserting that the count was slow! BUT FROM BEHIND!
1000 MILE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Centurion tries the modified olympic slam on Osira, but she’s felt that move before and avoided it, falling down the back of the XWF Legend. She smashes Cent in the back of the head with a fierce club and follows up with a snap german suplex of her own. Cent is down in the center of the ring. Osira heads to the turnbuckle and climbs up, ready to dive off on her foe. But she didn’t realize that Centurion was up and trailing her! He charges Osira with a shoulder block but she leaps up over him and grabs ahold of his waist. Flipping them both over with a sunset flip that plants Centurion head first into the mat while Osira stays latched on for the pin!
1!
2!!
NO!!!
Again! Centurion barely kicks out!
PC: The heart of Centurion is unreal!
HHL: Yeah, yeah… he’s OKAY I guess. But not for long.
Osira ignores what she thought was a slow count again, and stands up. She’s done playing and is ready to finish this match. She gets behind Centurion and locks up his arms and hoists him off of his feet.
DISCORD DRIVER!!!
NO!
Centurion flipped out of Osira’s clutches and backflips onto his feet! Quickly Centurion hits the ropes and flies at Osira with a Bloody Symphony!
BUT IT’S OSIRA!
She dodges and connects with a beautiful european uppercut. Centurion crumbles to the mat and Osira again goes for the turnbuckle. She climbs to the top and begins motioning for Centurion to stand. He wobbles up to his feet and Osira launches herself at him! She goes for the diving hurricanrana, but Centurion gets underneath of her and dodges running to the corner she just leapt from. He starts climbing up the ropes, but Osira landed on her feet too.
OSIRA RUNS UP AND GRABS CENT FROM BEHIND AS HE CLIMBS THE ROPES!
STRIFE TOSS!!!!!!
NO!!!!
CENTURION LANDS ON HIS FEET!
HE GETS UNDER OSIRA, LIFTING HER ON HIS SHOULDERS!
FABULA NOVA CRSTALLIS!
PC: AN UNBELIEVABLE MOVE!
CENTURION COVERS!
1!
2!!
3!!!
Winner - Centurion
The referee raises Centurion’s hand in victory, when the lights suddenly get cut. The XTron turns to static, and creepy classical music plays in the background. The Tron comes back to life as a shaded figure narrates.
DO
YOU
REMEMBER?!
There were three that were meant to be sacrificed for Armageddon’s Reign
The Drug Dealer
The Heartbreaker
And you
CENTURION
DO
YOU
REMEMBER?
The tron fuzzes to static again, and when it comes back on, the words “Last Stand, September, 2001” fades in. As it does, so does old footage of a wrestling show, featuring a young Centurion.
Quote:Roller and Centurion are both in the ring after the match is over when the lights go completely dead.
Five minutes later they come on.......
In the middle of the ring stands a cross. About 15 feet high, made of a black metal. Roller is hanging on the North side of the cross, nails through his wrists. Centurion is hanging on the South side of the cross, nails through his wrists. They are covered in blood. Not just like they got cut up.. but their entire bodies, head to very end of toe are covered in blood. Several gashes can be seen on their bodies in random places. The canvas is covered in blood, but something else is there too. A black liquid, it has formed the words......
all ye who hang, abandon all hope, you have been inflicted with . ... .
ARMAGEDDON'S PAIN
The lights to the arena come back on, and Centurion is IMMEDIATELY speared to the mat! A man, in his 50’s with long, black hair, begins to pummel Centurion with punches. The crowd starts to boo as a defenseless Centurion continues to take shot after shot. After he feels he has done enough, the man stands up off Centurion, who is completely out of it. The man screams ringside for a mic, and he gets tossed one.
Man: 20 years ago, you were sacrificed. At least, you were supposed to be. That night should have been you last. And yet, here you are, still breathing, as my work has yet to be completed. I thought I lost you forever, Centurion, but thanks to someone in the back, I have found you. And this time, there will be no crosses under the cover of darkness. No, I want to see you bleed out in front of me.
The crowd continues to boo as the man looks away from Centurion and into the crowd.
Man: You are all witness to the second act of Armageddon’s Reign! For those of you unfamiliar, I am Giavonni DeSantis, the God of Death, but you can simply refer to me as GD. Enjoy your time with your hero as long as you can, because soon, his final days in this company will end, and my prophecy will be fulfilled!
With that, the lights cut again. When the come back up, GD is gone, leaving Centurion to slowly get to his feet, staring up the rampway like he saw a ghost.
“Frankie!?”
The shot opens somewhere in the space station, to Thaddeus Duke as opens the door to the room he has organised for himself and his son Frankie. He pops his head inside and the camera follows. But there is no Frankie.
THAD: “Frankie!?”
With a look of concern, he does a quick double-take in the room. Convinced little Frankie Duke isn’t in there, he steps out, looking around for a clue. It comes in the form of the sounds of laughter and cheering coming from somewhere down the hall. Duke follows the sounds, leading him down to another corridor of the station.
A mix of consternation and anger shows on his face as he sees a hopscotch course drawn in chalk on the ground and Frankie skipping down it.
THAD: “Hey! Frankie? What are you doing? I was worried!”
FRANKIE: “We’re playing a game! Don’t worry though, the chalk comes off.”
THAD: “‘We’? Who are you playing with?”
FRANKIE: “Him!”
Frankie points, and the camera follows revealing a man just off to the side of the hopscotch course
It’s ALIAS!
He stands with his hands on his hips and an innocent half-smile on his face. The X-Treme Championship and 24/725/8 Briefcase on the ground next to him.
THAD: “Come here, please, Frankie.”
Thad drops his voice, calm and controlled. Frankie whines.
FRANKIE: “We’re just playing!”
ALIAS: “Listen to your father, kid.”
Frankie gives Alias a death stare that would match the stares Alias would usually give Thad. With his eyes, Alias urges Frankie on, and in a huff he trudges off to where Thad stands. Thad drops to meet him.
THAD: “I’m not mad at you, Frankie. I just get worried, you know?”
FRANKIE: “I know. You were just busy with all that promotional stuff.”
THAD: “I get it. Look, I’ve probably got an hour or so before I need to be ready for my match. How about you head on back to the room, I’ll come straight back after talking to your friend here, and then we can go get you something to eat. Does that sound good?”
FRANKIE: “Promise?”
THAD: “Absolutely.”
They fist bump before Frankie trots off back to the room. Thad lingers in place, keeping an eye on Alias. For his part, Alias picks up his championship and briefcase, before he slowly walks over to Thad. A very clear shot is seen of Thad glancing down at the briefcase while Alias approaches.
THAD: “Be very careful about your next decision.”
Taking a deep breath, Alias barely seems to register Thad’s statement. Instead, he just places a hand on Thad’s shoulder and leaves him with a disconnected reply.
ALIAS: “For his sake, don’t let him watch my match tonight.”
With that, Alias pushes past Thad, and the scene fades.
Terry Borden makes his way to the ring.
the lights go down and the screen flickers to life showing gold coins hitting the floor and the song Last man standing by Biohazard blares over the speakers as Hawk walks out from the back and stands looking at the ring with a cold stare as his gold pyros go off and smoke comes from the ramp as he walks down in a purposeful strut Slowly entering the ring he walks to the center and grins with a knowing smile.
NKWC walks in perfect step to the tune of the North Korean National Anthem, wielding a ceremonial sword and immaculate military uniform. A wondrous orchestra of True Koreans trumpet out the beautiful melody any man could ever hear. Two cadets walk several paces after him wielding the glorious flag of True Korea, wavering majestically overhead, leading the way to a brighter future for all mankind. Wherever he is, the True Leader of the Free World, Kim Jong Un sheds a single of tear of pride for the Greatest Warrior on the Planet, aside from himself.
NKWC sheds off the jacket of his military uniform and walks up the steps into the ring. The cadets catch the jacket and without letting it or the flag hit the ground and touching filthy North American soil, quietly scurry back up the ramp.
The last participant in the match, the newly signed Jordan Knoxville from Nottingham, England walks down to the ring.
Terry Borden
- vs -
Hawk Hendricks
- vs -
NorthKoreanWarCriminal
- vs -
Jordan Knoxville Four Corners Match - Standard One Fall
Winner receives a singles title shot of their choosing - Hart, TV or Xtreme
Savage Rules
DING! DING! DING!
As the bell rings, the four participants in this match each stare daggers at each other, daring each other to make a move.
Pip: Here we go! High stakes, high rewards here as we get set for our next match here - a #1 Contender’s Match is our prize here, and each of these four men look ready and willing to go the distance to get that.
HHL: Indeed - four men, four opposing wills in that ring… As a certain Hulkster would remember, it’s almost as if a set of immovable objects meet a set of irresistible forces!
All of a sudden, Terry Borden perks up in the corner, motioning to the crowd as he flexes those 38-inch pythons! Cupping his ear, he motions for the crowd to give him some love… but he looks rather distraught as he realizes suddenly that they’re alone on the moo - AND HE GETS IMMEDIATELY JUMPED!
Pip: The North Korean War Criminal and Jordan Knoxville wasting zero time here as they begin putting the boots to Borden! In fact, as the former would say… this is a ‘Valorous Warrior's Attack-Your-Opponent-While-His-Back-Is-Turned’ strike here!
HHL: Killer instinct on display here, to say the least… and it looks like Hawk wants in on the action!
Hawk Hendricks tries to go in to join on the beatdown, only to be met with a CHOP! by Knoxville! Hawk’s chest lights up like a Christmas tree, forcing the newcomer to wince and hold on as Knoxville and NKWC look to each other, nodding as they begin punching Hawk’s head one after another!
Pip: Look at them go, Heather! It’s like they’re playing a game of Human Ping-Pong!
HHL: Truly, no prisoners being spared here… I can’t say I expected a temporary alliance being forged between these two, but it’s certainly working!
Hawk is staggered on his feet, barely able to stand… when Terry Borden is back up on his feet, looking for some payback! But Knoxville is quick on the draw, grabbing Hawk by the neck and using him as a battering ram to take him - and Terry - out of the ring!
But as Knoxville looks to catch his breath… he gets hit from behind by an Honorable Hero's Low Blow To The Nether Regions from the North Korean War Criminal!
Pip: Sneaky!
HHL: And dishonest.
Pip: What? You seeing the same match I am? It’s a Fatal Four-Way, there’s no such thing as disqualifications. Plus, it’s totally an honorable tactic!
HHL: Riiiiiiiiiiight.
Knoxville clutches at his crown jewels, limping over to the corner as the North Korean War Criminal smells blood in the water, going on the attack! He lunges in, and brings his hand to Knoxville’s face for a Virtuous, Dedicated Citizen's Thumb-to-the-Eye! He’s jamming his fingers around to make the most of it!
But Knoxville isn’t having any of it! He brings his own hand to the face of the North Korean War Criminal for his own EYE RAKE! The two are going at it, a metaphorical tug-of-war ensuing as they try dealing the most damage to each other’s eyes!
HHL: These competitors sure do believe in ‘an eye for an eye…’
Pip: This is insane! I sure hope the North Korean War Criminal can get past this!
HHL: ...Pip, they’re using the same tactics. The War Criminal even started this match by using those tactics.
Pip: He had to use them to defend himself! He’s a national hero, and doesn’t deserve this!
Knoxville breaks the stalemate, and with his own Low Blow! The North Korean War Criminal breaks off, his cheeks puffed full of air as he limps around, but that allows Knoxville to grab him by the neck so that he could hit a TOP ROPE TORNADO DDT!
The North Korean War Criminal lands face-first, trying to get back on his feet as the effects of that DDT seem to have scrambled his brains a bit… but as Knoxville attempts to give chase, he gets stopped by TERRY BORDEN! The Hulkster looks PISSED at what happens earlier, and gets right in Knoxville’s business!
Knoxville punches Terry right in the face! BUT TERRY IS HULKING UP! HE’S NOT TAKING ANY OF THIS AS KNOXVILLE’S SECOND PUNCH DOES NOTHING AS WELL!
BORDEN POINTS AT KNOXVILLE!
Pip: It’s like it’s 1987 all over again, Heather!
AS KNOXVILLE GOES FOR HIS THIRD PUNCH, IT GETS BLOCKED! TERRY IS GOING FOR HIS OWN PUNCH IN RESPONSE-
ONLY FOR KNOXVILLE TO DUCK UNDER IT!
HE MANAGES TO SLIP BEHIND TERRY, WHIPPING HIM OVER TO GET HIS ATTENTION AS HE KICKS HIM IN THE GUT! HE HOISTS HIM UP-
SIT-OUT RELEASE POWERBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMB! TERRY HITS THE MAT HARD!
HHL: When has someone ever countered the Hulking Up?!
Pip: BOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOBODY EVER COUNTERS IT!
HHL: So much for remaining impartial…
Knoxville jumps to his feet, wooping as he does so… ONLY TO GET STRUCK FROM BEHIND BY HAWK HENDRICKS!
Knoxville turns around slowly, staring at Hawk right in the eyes… ONLY FOR HAWK TO BE SHOVED INTO KNOXVILLE BY THE NORTH KOREAN WAR CRIMINAL!
Both men hit the ground! Hawk rolls out of the ring as Knoxville manages to get to his feet… ONLY TO BE BROUGHT INTO A CHOKEHOLD BY THE NORTH KOREAN WAR CRIMINAL!
HHL: Another otherwise-illegal tactic, saved only by this being a multi-man match…
Pip: Oh, bullshit! Did you see that murderous glint in Knoxville’s eyes? He would have KILLED the North Korean War Criminal had he had the chance! He just had to stick up for himself! Self-defense is justified here, you know!
HHL: Oh, of course. Because we all know the North Korean War Criminal hasn’t murdered anyone.
Pip: Well, of course he hasn’t! He’s a national hero, after all!
HHL: …
Knoxville is scrambling to get out of this chokehold! He’s scratching, clawing, trying to dig his way to the safety of the ropes, but the North Korean War Criminal is making it as difficult for him as possible! He’s digging his fingers into Knoxville’s eyes again, almost as if he’s trying to rip his eyes out! Knoxville is nearing the ropes though, closer and closer…
He extends his foot out…
ONLY FOR THE NORTH KOREAN WAR CRIMINAL TO EXTEND HIS OWN FEET OVER TO THE ROPES! HE MANAGES TO PUSH THEM OUT OF HARM’S WAY!
Pip: Excellent ring awareness on display there!
Knoxville has had enough though! He uses the rest of his remaining strength to sock the North Korean War Criminal right across the jaw, finally allowing him some room to get out as he coughs for air!
The North Korean War Criminal winces, also backing up and almost cowering in a sense, trying to plan his next move… but Knoxville is on the attack! He lands a running dropkick to him in the corner, forcing the War Criminal to a seated position as he begins raining down kicks to the sternum!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FOUR!
FIVE!
SIX!
SEVEN!
EIGHT!
NINE!
TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!
Pip: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! SOMEONE HAS TO STOP THIS! This is senseless violence!
HHL: I think you’re going a bit too far now…
Pip: I’m sticking up for our global heroes, Heather.
Knoxville grabs the War Criminal by the wrists, dragging the stunned Korean up to his feet as he backs off to the other corner, hungrily licking his lips as he eyes up his mark…
SHOTGUN! DROOOOOOOOOOOOOPKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-
BUT WAIT! HAWK HENDRICKS AND TERRY BORDEN ARE BACK IN THE RING! THEY TRY FOR A DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE AS KNOXVILLE RUNS ACROSS THE RING!
Knoxville sees it something in time though! He manages to duck underneath the clothesline, rolling through, and as the two turn around…
HE HITS THEM BOTH WITH A DOUBLE RUNNING JUMP SPEAR!
HHL: A vicious strike hitting true!
Pip: SOMEONE STOP HIM!
The North Korean War Criminal is struggling to come to, only to see one of his entrance cadets at ringside toss him a chair! He manages to catch it, and right as he catches it, he goes over to Knoxville…
C R A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A C K !
Pip: Did you hear that, Heather?!
HHL: I think everyone back on Planet Earth could hear that one…
KNOXVILLE STAGGERS BACK, DAZED AND CONFUSED AS THE WAR CRIMINAL THROWS THE CHAIR ASIDE! HE PUTS KNOXVILLE IN A FRONT FACELOCK, THROWING THE ARM OVER, BEFORE TRYING TO LIFT!
BUT!
HE!
CAN’T!
LIFT!
Pip: He’s trying to end it, Heather! Trying to hit that North Korean Nuclear Arms Test!
HHL: He doesn’t seem to have the strength to do it, however…
Pip: BULLSHIT! He has all the strength in the world! LIFT, MAN! LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFT!
The North Korean War Criminal is pushing his strength to his absolute limits! Veins start bulging in his forehead as he has to grit his teeth! He counts under his breath…
One…
Two…
THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
HE MANAGES TO LIFT JORDAN KNOXVILLE!
HE CAN’T BELIEVE IT! HE’S SO OVERCOME BY SHOCK, IN FACT, THAT HE IMMEDIATELY DROPS KNOXVILLE AND BEGINS PARADING AROUND THE RING!
Knoxville can’t believe what he’s even seeing right now as he’s starting to come to, as meanwhile the North Korean War Criminal falls to his knees, weeping as the rest of the entrance cadets come back down, playing the orchestral version of the North Korean National Anthem.
Two entrance cadets enter the ring, bowing before their commander and draping him in the flag of North Korea. Pip can be heard sniffling as he speaks.
Pip: I-Isn’t it great… Heather…? It’s a sign… of true victory!
HHL: What victory even is this?! He hasn’t pinned Knoxville yet!
Knoxville finally seems to get back up however, going in to interrupt this victory celebration - ONLY TO BE BLOCKED BY THE TWO ENTRANCE CADETS! Knoxville goes to sidestep around, only for them to walk in tandem to keep blocking him off!
The North Korean War Criminal takes notice though as Knoxville pushes them to the side, rushing at him for one last Running Jump Spear -
ONLY FOR TERRY BORDEN TO RUSH IN ONE LAST TIME AND EAT THE FINISHER!
Pip: That Hulkamaniac stamina just backfired on him!
Knoxville is stunned as he connects two and two with what just happened -
C R A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A C K !
HHL: Another chair shot! Right to the back of the dome!
The North Korean War Criminal was quick to act as soon as he saw Knoxville hit his finisher! And with no one in the way now, he pins Terry!
Ooooooone…
Twooooooooo…………
THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Winner - North Korean War Criminalk
Somewhere on earth, we see this woman who looked like Atara on her phone tweeting out something in the middle of the street, then we see JB bumping into by “accident” where she dropped her phone, as he phone got shattered, she gets mad at him and she spits on him. Then he punches her, and it blacks out. Then suddenly, we see her strapped to a rocket on her back in a rooftop somewhere. As she struggles to break free, he simply propels the rocket up the air and it exploded with twitter, FB, and ig logos onto him.
“Damn, she’s so addicted to her phone, it’s a damn shame I had to send her up in space….well, mostly her social media bloodshed onto me. You see, as we are getting closer and close to my match against Atara, or my nickname for her is baby mama #23… i got to be honest with you XWF fans about this fact… which is me admitting that I have no chance in hell to beat this white woman into submission. I don’t mean to sound wired as fuck on it, but it’s the truth… and I can see the hashtags now..
#AttyBeatsJB
#Atty’sTwoBelts
#AttyS3xTape
So many hashtags, so little time, you see people where am I going with this is, no matter how hard I tried to put my message out to the world, it isn’t going to be clear. What I am sayin is… I won’t come out of the moon as the net champion, you know why?…
Relevance…
When you think of relevance, who do you imagine being relevant in this day and age?…. well, Atara you see, she’s more relevant in this ADHD world, and not me. I mean, think for a split second, and ask yourselves why aren’t I not on Twitter? I mean, you can search me, but my shit is private so nobody can see my true thoughts on this situation I have against Atara. Let’s just say, that I wish I could fuck her and send it on the iCloud for the world to see. But sadly, that isn’t going to happen.”
Then a random UFO comes out of the sky, and it opens up to see the social media addicted woman remains pushed out, and two aliens then come out with their G-Phone 13X, wanting to take some pictures with JB, which he agrees to, after all that, he then heads into the UFO thing, but looks into the camera for the last time.
“What’s going to happen is going to be out of this world, Atara… you know and I know, that even though you are relevant in the social media, and have connections within and out of the company, almost to the point I see you in my dreams. Shit, I can’t ignore your enigmatic states, but that isn’t going to stop me from beating the ever loving piss out you soon, and when I do.. I might get these two aliens to take a picture of me holding your Internet Championship, and have them share among the world, that I have just beaten the soon to be Shooting Star Champion by the end of the night.
Even if I don’t get the glorified social media championship, I will still feel the honor that I took out the Shooting Star queen off her game against the realist Shooting Star champ that has ran this shit for so long. I will break you down so hard, that your fingers will break off, so you can’t use them against anyone after tonight, I will make sure to have the internet world go cray cray I beaten on a old meme like yourself.
So enough of me rambling, see you soon, Atara… Aliens… take my black azz to tha moon!”
Then the UFO thing closes, and they slowly move up from the rooftop and head into space, as the next segment comes along.
The beat kicks in and I Invented Sex echoes through the arena, the crowd cheers and parties! Balloons and streamers fall from the ceiling as Dick Powers saunters onto the ramp with a rose between his teeth and bounces his head smiling followed by his manager Riley Reed who smiles nodding his head to the rhythm. Dick drops to his knees and opens his arms wide, flaunting what he's got to the crowd as his pyro goes off behind him. He hops to his feet clapping, dancing and high fiving fans on his way to the ring. He jogs up the steps and climbs the top turnbuckle singing along to his theme as he poses to his adoring fans.
Heather: Alright it’s time for Powers and Waters!
Pip: So you mean to tell me...
Heather: ...don’t...
Pip: ...it’s time for Dick!
The spotlights hit the stage and out comes Dolly Waters to a decent reaction herself. The smarks and fanboys can really be heard cheering her on of course. She struts down to the ring and rolls her eyes at Riley Reed. She hops up on the apron and ascends to the top rope, saluting her fans before moonsaulting and landing perfectly on her feet in the ring. She hops and turns to face Dick Powers who is nodding along to her music before it fades. The referee calls for the bell and we’re underway.
Dick Powers
- vs -
Dolly Waters Standard Match
1 Roleplay - No Word Limit
Dick offers out a hopefully clean hand which Dolly looks at and then smirks and shakes it. The crowd cheers at the sign of respect before the two shift around and then lock up. The feel one another put before Dick backs Dolly to the ropes. She uses a foot to push off the middle rope and then spins and takes Dick down with an arm drag. He hops up and she goes for another arm drag but he steps over her and then drops into a weird armlock. Dolly winces but is able to crawl over and reach the ropes quickly. Dick breaks the hold and backs off as Dolly gets to her feet and the crowd applauds.
Heather: These two are both masters of that high octane offense, so well matched!
Pip: Yeah, Dolly isn’t afraid to take on Dick!
Heather: Are you going to do this the whole time?
Pip: I’ll keep going as long as Dick lasts!
Heather: Stop it!
They lock up again and Dolly drops down and then twists Dick into an arm wrench. He counters it into a side headlock but Dolly shoves him into the ropes. He bounces off and she takes him down with a drop toe hold. Dolly quickly hops on top of Dick and applies a side headlock of her own. She applies pressure to keep him grounded but Dick starts powering up. He starts to push off the mat and slowly gets to a knee. He continues to try and pull himself up to his feet but Dolly wrenches Dick hard and forces him back down to the mat.
Dick slaps the mat in frustration and starts again trying to power up. Dolly holds on tight but Dick gets to a knee again. He wraps one arm around Dolly while using his free hand to encouragingly tap on his junk. He suddenly grabs his knobgoblin and lets out a mighty war cry. Dick trembles before rising up from the mat, holding Dolly who still has the headlock wrapped tightly around Dick’s head. He gets to his feet and hoists her high up in the air now. He goes for a big back drop but as they fall Dolly spins and lands on top of Dick. She hooks a leg.
1...
2...
Kick out by Dick! They both get back up and Dolly kicks Dick in the gut. She pulls him in for a DDT but he lifts her up and charges into the corner, slamming her back first into the turnbuckles. Dick backs up and then goes for a discus punch but Dolly avoids Dick by ducking under and then dropkicking him into the corner. Dick slams chest first into the turnbuckle and then steps backwards where Dolly hops up and hits a backstabber on him. She hooks both his legs this time.
1...
2...
Kick out by Dick!
Heather: Some close calls here Powers better be careful against Waters’ skill set!
Pip: Yup, Dolly is making it rather...hard for Dick, you could say.
Heather: Good grief...
Dolly gets back up while Dick is still flopped on the mat. He starts to get up as Dolly rushes him and starts hitting multiple kicks that Dick can barely block. She goes for a spinning heel kick to the gut but Dick grabs her foot to block it. Dolly follows through with an enziguri that flips Dick over and to the mat. He struggles to get back to his feet while Dolly readies herself. She races over to the opposite ropes as Dick erects himself back to his feet. She jumps and bounces off the middle rope hitting Dick with Ode to Joy much to the delight of the fans. Dolly hooks a leg.
1...
2...
Kick out by Dick! Dolly gets to her feet and revs up the crowd while going over and climbing to the top rope. She stands on the top turnbuckle as the fans begin to buzz louder and louder with excitement at whatever is about to come. Dick rises up to his feet and stumbles before turning slowly. Dolly leaps off and goes for the top rope diving sling blade but at the last second Dick is able to counter it into a nasty neck breaker. He rolls over and makes the cover.
1...
2...
Kick out by Dolly!
Heather: What a reversal!
Pip: Dolly got drilled by Dick there!
Heather: ...
Pip: What!?
Dolly remains down, holding her neck in pain while Dick slithers his way to the ropes. He pulls himself back up and looks over to Dolly who is now trying to get up. She wobbles while holding her neck still. She turns around directly into a beautiful superkick from Dick. He follows up by running and jumping onto the middle rope and then hits a lionsault onto Dolly. He hooks both of her legs while she’s stunned.
1...
2...
Kick out by Dolly! Dick pops right back up to his feet now and pretends to argue with the referee but then laughs and gives him a little snoochie boochie shot to the balls. Dolly gets back up and Dick goes for another superkick that is caught this time. Dolly holds his foot but this time it’s Dick with the enziguri. Dolly falls back and lands in a slumped, seated position against the bottom turnbuckle. Dick stops and looks around at the crowd as they begin to go wild. Dick runs on the spot and then points at Dolly and races towards her. He goes for the Sack Tapping but Dolly pulls her knees up and Dick slams groin first into them.
Pip: God no!!!
The crowd gasps, the male portion of the audience holding their own balls in sympathy. Dick rolls around the mat in pain and almost rolls out of the ring, laying on the apron in pain. Dolly begins pulling herself up while Dick is struggling on the apron, sliding closer to the corner. Dolly steps out to the apron as Dick tries to help himself up. Dolly grabs Dick and tries to ram his head into the ring post but he somehow blocks it. Out of desperation Dick grabs Dolly and uses the ropes to hit the Dick-Dog, driving Dolly face first into the steel steps. The force from falling off the apron drives her head off the steps and she snaps back and lies on the floor.
Heather: Oh no! That was bad...
Pip: Dolly hit her face off those steps very hard...
Heather: Dolly is hurt I think...
Dick slowly rises from the other side of the steps and looks over at Dolly. She is down on the floor still, blood running from both of her nostrils like a faucet. Her eyes are open but she’s staring up at the lights with a hundred mile stare. Dick meanders over to her and looks mortified as he helps pull her up and rolls her into the ring. Even the crowd is pretty quiet as Dick squirms into the ring and makes the cover, a solemn look of sadness on his face as he pins her.
1...
2...
3!!!!
Winner - Dick Powers
We cut back to the halls of the space station, where Lycana is striding in full ring attire towards the gorilla position. The lights hit the reflective parts of her tights, bouncing little dazzling fragments here and there as she moves.
PIP: Lycana has quite a match in front of her right now, looking to take down Alias for the Xtreme title. These two have a lot of history.
HEATHER: It's going to be a war Pip. Hopefully she will be in good enough shape to compete later tonight as well. The Dissentients will be looking to take the Tag titles from Them No Good Bastards.
Lycana tosses her azure hair over her shoulder as she walks, looking down as she fiddles with the black bands adorning her wrists. She rounds a corner, sensing someone in front of her and automatically stepping to the side, trying to avoid a collision. The figure moves right along with her, causing her to pull up short, her head coming up to see just what was going on.
She finds herself eye level with a broad wall of chest. Her head tilts back until she is staring up into the pleased gaze of Andre Dixon.
One corner of his mouth lifts, ever so slowly, into a charming smirk as he rests one muscular arm on the wall above her head, leaning over the Dark Vixen of Violence with an air of playfulness about him. He reaches out, as if to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, causing her to stiffen with unease. Instead, he brings his hand back with a flourish, revealing a flower which he presents to her. She takes it instinctively, looking down at the bloom she now holds.
She runs a finger over the petals of the blackwater iris, confused by this encounter. Why would he… she stops, realization dawning at the significance of what she held, as her eyes widen.
Lycana: It was…. YOU?! You sent me the flowers?
A grin was her answer.
Lycana: But…. why?
Dixon: Why not, beautiful?
He leans in closer, as she looks back up at him, thrown off kilter by the revelation that it been him who sent the bouquet. Their eyes lock for a second, and before she can formulate a response, he dips his head at the same moment she looks back down, his lips just barely missing their intended target and pressing to her cheek.
Caught off guard, Lycana freezes for a brief moment, his lips searingly hot on her skin until she jerks backwards, stumbling a bit and nearly falling as she puts some distance between herself and Dixon. She backpedals until she hits the wall on the other side of the hall, still gaping at him, her brain unable to process things. She lifts a hand to her face, where he had kissed her.
He stands relaxed, unfazed by her reaction, arms crossing over his chest, looking all too pleased with himself. She sidles away down the hall, unwilling to take her eyes off of him, a flush creeping over her cheeks.
Dixon: Good luck with your match tonight, sexy… Oh, and next time? I won’t miss.
He flashes her a wink. Lycana turns and flees, scampering around the corner and out of sight with one last haunted look over her shoulder. Andre Dixon picks up the forgotten flower and stares after her.
Dixon: Damn she’s fine….
PIP: Wow! Andre Dixon making some bold moves on Lycana.
HEATHER: It looked like he really shook her up there. Let’s find out. She’s headed to the ring.
The lights dim, and a spotlight shines up to the rafters. From there, two cages begin lowering down from the ceiling. The first one lowers to the ring apron, and staff members at ringside secure it in place. Then comes the second. Larger, not just in width but in height, it lowers to the floor itself and the officials secure it.
Tig O’Bitties: The following is a double cage match, where the only way to win will be to escape BOTH steel cages. The first person whose feet touch the ground beyond the outside cage will be declared the winner and will be the X-Treme Champion!
Pip: There you hear the rules, ladies and gentlemen! It’s time for our first of eight championship matches this evening!
With the cages in place and the rules announced, the lights fade to black and “Zero Signal” by Fear Factory hits the speakers.
Lime green and red pyros shoot off. Lycana steps out onto the stage, with Marf flanking her. She turns to him and nods. Disapproving, he disappears backstage.
HHL: And there goes Marf!
Pip: There’s not much he could do to help her inside those steel cages.
Alone, Lycana looks around the crowd with a condescending look.
HHL: Even on the moon she’s still a bitch!
Tig: Introducing first, the challenger! From Seven Devils, North Carolina… representing The Dissentients… LYCANA!
Lycana begins her walk down the ramp. She arrives at the side of the cage and reaches up, grabbing a hold of the steel structure and testing its strength. A referee opens the door to the first cage, and she steps inside. The referee follows and leads her around to a set of steps on the complete opposite side of the ring. Unlocking that door, Lycana is left to step inside.
Pip: All that steel is a confronting sight to see from the outside. I can only imagine what it feels like to be in there.
HHL: I’ve been in cage matches before, and one cage is plenty daunting in its own right. This is something else!
While Lycana sneers at the crowd from behind the cages, the referee shuts the first door and padlocks a chain around it. He makes his way around the caged part of the ringside area and to the outside door. Shutting that, it similarly gets locked.
Pip: Hey… how is her opponent supposed to get in there?
HHL: LIKE THAT!
A roar emanates from the crowd as they see Alias scaling the outside wall of the inner cage.
Pip: How’d he get in there?
No answer comes. Alias climbs to the top of the inside cage. Lycana turns. She sees him! It’s too late! Alias leaps off the top of the cage with a mammoth cross body!
Lycana, having been wiped out by Alias’s dive, struggles to recover. Alias rolls over and is on her like a rabid animal. He mounts her, and starts raining closed fists down into her face.
Pip: Alias is wasting no time, starting this at a fast tempo.
HHL: He has a lot of pent-up aggression that he’s just been waiting to unload, on Lycana particularly!
Alias, having attacked with such vigour, seems to have taken Lycana completely by surprise. She struggles to get her hands up to cover her face, and several punches land square and clean. Alias just keeps punching. One of the fists, unable to be blocked in time, catches Lycana square in the side of her mouth, and a spurt of blood bursts out from her bottom lip.
Pip: We’re only two minutes into this thing, and already we’ve got some blood!
HHL: I don’t know if this is going to bode well for Lycana. She’s going to have to try and turn around and compete against Them No Good Bastards later this evening!
Desperately, Lycana recognises her predicament and reaches up to Alias’s face. She takes a few extra shots to the head in the process, but with her sharp nails she claws right down his cheeks. The searing pain causes Alias to grab at her hands. This gives her the chance she needs to try and kick him away. She wriggles a leg free and drives the heel of her boot into Alias’s chest. It forces him back and gives her the opportunity to scramble to the side of the ring. Or, the side of the cage, to be more precise.
HHL: Clever move there by Lycana to get herself free.
Pip: What, do you like her now or something?
HHL: I respect talent, and if Lycana can knock Alias off here, that’ll go along way in sending a message about her own level. Besides, it’s not like there are rules in a cage match!
Lycana uses the ropes to pull herself to her feet, but Alias is on her again. He attacks with stiff elbow strikes targeting her head once again. Lycana backs up, retreating to the corner. But with the steel enclosing the ring, it’s not exactly the safest place. Alias’s assault continues. On her feet, Lycana can do a better job of covering up as elbow after elbow is driven into her. Still, it takes its toll. Alias shows no sign of letting up, perpetually surging forward like a juggernaut.
Pip: Lycana needs to find a way out of this, and quick!
She does. She brings a swinging leg up and catches Alias in the groin.
Pip: Oh, that’s low!
HHL: Like I said, there are no rules in a cage match!
Alias drops to his knees as he holds his crotch, but he still as Lycana boxed in. With the turnbuckle behind her, she grabs a hold of the top rope either side and hoists herself up to be seated. Holding onto the cage, she shimmies to the top and starts edging along the top rope, getting herself out of the corner. Alias begins to stir, and Lycana, seeing him rise, decides to leap! She tries to catch him around the neck with her legs but Alias snatches hold! He’s got her! He swings her into the side of the cage! The crowd groans as Lycana’s head smacks against the steel.
Pip: This is just one way traffic so far![/i]
Still with Lycana dangling from his shoulders, Alias winds up and again swings her head into the side of the cage. It bounces off with a sickening rattle. Lycana’s body drops, but Alias is on top of her again. He drives his hands to her throat and starts shaking violently, literally trying to choke her to death. Lycana claws with her hands again, but Alias ignores it, even as blood starts to trickle down his cheeks from her scratch marks. Lycana steps it up a notch and goes for the eyes. She gouges them hard, and that’s enough to force Alias to let go.
[white]Pip: This has been brutal so far!
HHL: I feel like ‘feral’ is the better description.
Lycana gasps for air and again tries to pull herself up to her feet again. Alias rubs his reddened eyes. As they return to normal he sees Lycana getting up. They go red again - a different type of red - and he charges at her, leaping through the air. At the last second Lycana ducks! Alias goes crashing head first into the steel cage.
HHL: This might be the opening Lycana was needing!
She still tries to shake the cobwebs loose after Alias’s initial onslaught. Undeterred, Alias rises again and the risk intensifies. Lycana acts quickly, and charges him before he can act. She unloads a basement dropkick that catches Alias on the side of his neck and drops him. In a rage, he smacks the mat and pushes up once more. Lycana’s there waiting for him. She delivers a stiff kick to his jaw as he rises, and then a rising knee that flips him over onto his back. Now it’s her turn! Lycana pounces atop of Alias and starts uncorking a series of fists of her own.
Pip: The tables seem to have turned!
Alias tries to get his defences up, and does a decent enough job of it, but Lycana is a lot more calculating with her strikes than Alias was. As soon as he raises his arms to his face, she drives a pointed elbow into his abdomen. When he drops his hands to protect his vitals, she returns to targeting his face. This continues for three or four rotations until Alias lurches forward like an undead monster returning to life. He bypasses Lycana’s strikes entirely and sinks his teeth into her shoulder!
HHL: See!? Feral!
Pip: As you so eloquently put, Heather, there are no rules in a cage match!
Lycana immediately tries to pull away, but Alias’s jaw is latched so tight that in doing so, a chunk of her own skin rips off. Blood bubbles out, staining the mat, her hair, and her opponent! She winces as she tries to apply pressure to the wound. Slightly concerned, she looks up only to see the ravenous face of Alias, frothing at the mouth through blood-painted teeth. He dives at her again, but she quickly rolls to the side, leaving a bloody imprint of her shoulder on the canvas. Alias isn’t done, however, and he lashes out again, leaping forward like an actual wolf. Lycana knows that game too well and dodges to the side once more. Before Alias can launch another attack, it’s Lycana’s turn to leap, and she drives both her knees into his shoulders with a meteora.
HHL: That’s what Lycana needs to do here. Alias is acting on animal instincts, so she needs to keep her wits about her and choose her spots wisely.
Pip: This might be the first time we’ve called a Lycana match where we weren’t considering her the animalistic one.
With Alias down, Lycana gets up to her feet. He stirs behind her and she carefully watches him. As soon as he’s up, she’s there, spinning him around with a tilt-a-whirl headscissors takedown. Alias bounces off his head and rotates over to his knees. Just as Lycana did earlier, he tries to use the corners to pull himself up. But Lycana is there, handspringing into him with a back elbow.
Pip: A lot of flashy moves being used by Lycana right now. I wasn’t expecting that in a cage match.
HHL: It’s serving a very clear purpose though, Pip. She’s trying to disorient him. Alias is the kind of fighter who attacks in straight lines. He keeps moving forward. If she can interfere with his sense of direction, then that’ll open up a whole lot more opportunities for her.
It works. Alias staggers out of the corner moving away from Lycana. His hand glided along the top rope, trying to use that to keep himself upright. Lycana isn’t having any of that. She bounces off the ropes on the other side of the ring for added momentum, and then flies through the air with a dropkick. With Alias’s hand having been atop the ropes, it pushes them down and he tumbles over, whacking into the cage wall in the process. He stirs on the apron, trapped between the ropes and the cage. Lycana winds up again using the ropes. She leaps forward with a body press.
Alias ducks!
Pip: Lycana! Face first into the cage!
Both competitors flop to the apron as they try to gather themselves once more. Almost in unison, they start pulling themselves up by the cage. Trapped in place, they trade blows. Punches and elbows exchange slowly at first, but they rapidly intensify. Alias’s strikes seem to pick up pace a little faster, and soon he takes control.
HHL: I wonder if that bite that Alias took out of Lycana is slowing her down a little.
Soon enough, Alias has Lycana backpedalling down the narrow space between the ropes and the cage. When her back hits the next wall, the corner post prevents her from squeezing to the next side. Alias encroaches, and quickly Lycana thumbs him in the eye. He covers up, and she takes the opportunity to grab him by the hair and smash his head into the steel cage. Once! Twice! Thrice! It keeps going! Four times! Five! Despite their preference, the crowd revels in counting aloud! Six! Seven! Eight! Nine! Lycana stops, smiling at the boos that the crowd sends her way for depriving them of the tenth. The force from Alias’s head shakes the inner cage and he staggers backwards. He falls, halfway back into the ring itself, hanging loose over the middle rope. Lycana moves in and swings her leg up to connect straight in his face. But Alias moves backwards and fully re-enters the ring! Lycana’s kick doesn’t make contact, and it throws her off balance!
The crowd explodes for the uppercut!
HHL: He hit it! Fatality! Fatality out of nowhere!
Lycana falls to the apron. Alias falls to the mat, still woozy from his head being driven into the cage so many times.
Suddenly, the inner cage starts lifting.
Pip: What’s this? What’s happening?
With Alias down in the center of the ring, and Lycana on the verge, the cage rises into the air.
Pip: Who’s doing this? Make it stop!
As the cage walls lift, there’s nothing to hold Lycana’s body on the ring apron. It drops to the ground between the first and second cages.
HHL: She’s out! Lycana’s out of the first cage!
Pip: There is no first cage right now! It’s ten feet in the air!
Alias pushes himself to his hands and feet and sees what’s happened. Struggling, he begins to crawl in Lycana’s direction.
Pip: Wait a minute! The cage is lowering again!
Sure enough, it begins to drop. Before Alias can get to the edge, the cage falls back in place around the ring. He pulls himself up, hanging over the ropes with his face pressed against the steel as he looks out to Lycana.
Pip: He’s still inside!
HHL: And Lycana is out!
The X-Tron lights up and cameras cut backstage to the production room where several staff members can be seen unconscious on the ground.
Marf is sitting at the control deck, grinning!
With a chuckle, he gets up and leaves.
Back in the ring, Alias’s eyes grow wide when he realises what’s happened..
Pip: They’ve screwed him! The Dissentients have screwed Alias!
Lycana begins to stir. She sits up, leaning against the outside cage, and points and cackles at Alias.
Enraged, Alias begins to climb! The crowd pops!
Quickly, Lycana tries to find her second wind and scramble to her feet. She starts climbing too! The inside cage!
Pip: What’s she doing? Why isn’t she climbing the outer cage?
HHL: Lycana said it herself in the lead up to this, she doesn’t care as much about beating Alias in a match - she wants to beat him down!
The cheers of the crowd are at fever pitch as the two meet at the top of the inner cage and renew their battle trading fists and elbows. The cage wobbles - not having been able to be secured properly when it was put back into place. Lycana smacks Alias’s face down onto the top of the shaky cage. But it doesn’t seem to phase him! She tries again but he grabs at her neck with both hands! He loses his balance completely and falls, driving her face into the top of the cage. Alias dangles from the top on the inside, while Lycana’s face continues to be ground by the steel.
Pip: I don’t think I’ve ever seen this before! Lycana’s face is the only thing keeping Alias from falling!
Lycana struggles free, forcing herself backwards. She falls from the top of the inner cage, splattering against the thin protective mats on the ground. Alias falls too, but he’s still inside the cage! His feet find stability on the top rope, using the cage to keep himself standing. This gives him an easy path back to the top of the cage, and he swings himself over. He drops down, landing in the space between the two cages.
HHL: They’re both out of the first cage!
Alias notices that Lycana is still laid out from her fall off the top of the cage. He stands up straight, head held back, and screams! The crowd responds in kind.
Pip: I don’t even want to know what’s going to come next in this!
HHL: Well I think you’re about to find out anyway!
With a couple of wobbly steps, Alias staggers around the side of the ring, and lifts up the apron of the ring. He ducks down, and begins rummaging about. Soon enough, he reemerges.
With a blowtorch.
That blows the roof off the place.
Pip: Oh my God! Alias brought a blow torch to the freaking moon!
HHL: That’s got to be a safety hazard in this contained environment.
He ignites the flames several times and with each flicker of fire, the crowd cheers. He turns back, and begins to hunt Lycana. She’s crawling around the ring, moving away from him. Slowly, he stalks behind her. When she gets to a set of metal steps, she pushes up on them to bring herself to her feet. That’s when she notices Alias behind her. She flicks a quick kick backwards out at him that connects, albeit weakly, with his gut. It puts a little more distance between them, and she begins to scramble around the ring. Alias continues to pursue her. They do a half-lap of the entire structure, when Lycana erratically spins back and drops down. She catches Alias with a drop toe hold that sends him slamming down into another set of steel steps.
HHL: Another craft move from the wily Lycana!
Pip: Was that a joke? She’s a wolf, not a coyote!
Alias’s head ricochets off the steel and he loses the blowtorch. Lycana gets moving again, getting one whole side of the ring between her and Alias before she herself also goes under the ring. Pulling out a steel chair, she begins to return to her opponent. Alias is back up though, and has taken several steps back from the steps. As Lycana rounds the corner, he sprints, jumping up with one foot on the steps for added height, and flies through the air!
SMACK!
Lycana swings the steel chair and it swats Alias right out of the air! His head busts open with blood as he falls to the ground. Near motionless, he lies there, as Lycana winds up again.
SMACK!
The chair whacks down upon the back of his shoulder.
SMACK!
Another shot!
SMACK!
Another!
SMACK!
SMACK!
SMACK!
Pip: Lycana is absolutely unloading here!
HHL: Alias isn’t the only one with a lot of pent-up aggression!
Lycana beats Alias into oblivion with the steel chair, and a small bloody pool begins to form from the gushing wound on his face. Lycana’s own shoulder seems bloodier too, and it’s impossible to tell whether it’s her own blood, Alias’s, or a combination of the two. She throws the chair down onto the ground. Well… onto Alias more specifically. She then takes time to take a few deep breaths as she ponders her next move.
Pip: This has been an absolute war!
Reaching down, Lycana tries to pull Alias up. But out of nowhere, he jumps up and shoves his hand in her mouth!
HHL: EAT THE LEFT HAND!
Pip: He’s got it locked in!
Lycana struggles against the nerve hold. Alias tries to dig down and push harder and harder. He backs Lycana up… to the steps! She begins walking up them, gaining the upper ground, making it harder and harder for Alias to keep the hold in!
HHL: Amazing ring awareness by Lycana!
But Heather might have spoken too soon! Alias follows her up the steps! They get to the top and…
Pip: METAMORPHOSIS! METAMORPHOSIS OFF THE STEEL STEPS!
In a flash, Lycana ducks down and catches her arm underneath Alias’s. She flips backwards into the avalanche moonsault side slam she calls the Metamorphosis.
HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
Pip: H… HOW? HOW DID SHE EVEN DO THAT IN SUCH A TIGHT SPACE?
HHL: I… I genuinely don’t know.
It takes a lot out of her, however, and both Lycana and Alias are down between the ring and the outer cage. Then, the crowd begins to boo.
[white]Pip: It’s Marf! And what’s that in his hand?
It’s a set of heavy-duty bolt cutters. Marf makes his way down the ring with the tool in hand as the referee outside the cage tries to stop him. With an effortless shove, Marf sends the ref flying. He reaches the edge of the cage, and goes straight to work beginning to cut at some of the links in the steel cage mesh, about shoulder-high for your average person.
Pip: He’s going to cut Lycana loose!
Lycana begins to come to, and sees her partner at work. She cackles once more. Turning to see Alias beginning to stir, she motions for Marf to wait. Uneasily, he nods, and stops cutting, having only made a small flap in the cage that still hangs on by a few steel threads. Lycana walks around the ring the long way, avoiding where Alias groggily sits up. She picks something up from the other side, and starts to walk back to where Alias leans against the side of the inner cage. Alias sees Marf and mouths some very observable expletives.
HHL: Alias asked for this stipulation in order to keep Marf out. He’s got to be fuming to see the former Television champion out here.
Lycana returns back to Alias, and the entire world (and the moon) sees what she picked up.
The blowtorch.
Gasps ring out around the moon base as she lights the flames. But Alias reacts! Taking Lycana by surprise, he actually moves towards the flames, charging in and spearing her to the ground! Lycana lets the blowtorch go, and Alias pulls himself to his feet. As Lycana begins to do the same Alias turns back around and with a heave, he hoists the top of the ring steps into the air. He drives them straight into Lycana’s skull!
Pip: Oh my God!
Lycana collapses, and Alias almost does too as the amount of force he put into that shot almost topples him over. The steps fall down, and through using them to support his weight, Alias manages to stay on his feet. He stands tall, and glances back to where Lycana lies. On unsteady feet, he uses the cage to keep himself upright as he walks back towards her. No! He steps OVER her! He continues around the outside of the ring and turns a corner. Marf stares daggers at him from the outside, and with a crooked, broken grin, Alias flips him two birds at once. Right in front of the other Dissentient, Alias lifts up the ring apron once more.
A stunned hush takes over the moon base.
Alias pulls out a can of gasoline.
Pip: No!
HHL: No!
Pip: No! This is too much!
Alias looks directly at Marf and flips him the bird again. Marf explodes! With the bolt cutters in his hands, he furiously starts cutting away at the cage once more!
But Alias lunges!
Dropping the gasoline canister on the ground, he shoves his arm through the flap that Marf had made! The freshly cut sections of steel rip away at his skin, but he doesn’t care!
Pip/HHL: Eat The Left Hand!
From one side of the cage to the other, Alias has reached through and locked his mandible claw in on Marf! Marf drops the bolt cutters and struggles against a man who should not have as much strength left as he does!
Pip: This is insane!
But Lycana’s back! And she has the steel chair once again! She crashes it down onto the back of Alias’s shoulder once more, and he immediately releases the hold. Marf pulls away, while Alias tries to pull his arm back through. Skin rips, but it doesn’t come! Alias’s arm is stuck in the cage. Lycana realises what’s happening! Giddy with glee, she raises the chair again, and this time brings it straight down on Alias’s head! He slumps to the ground!
And Lycana picks up the gasoline.
Pip: NO!
The crowd is deathly silent.
Marf picks up the bolt cutters, and moving several feet down the cage, goes to work once more at cutting open the cage wall.
Lycana begins emptying the gasoline onto Alias.
The smell hangs in the air. Alias begins to realise what’s happening and tries to wrangle his arm free. It’s to no avail!
Lycana has the blowtorch.
She lights it.
And she drops the open flame onto Alias.
Alias sets ablaze.
Pip: OH MY FUCKING GOD!
Having cut enough of the cage wall open, Marf drops the bolt cutters and starts ripping the hole open further with his bare hands.
A few steel spikes catch Lycana as she steps through the hole Marf made, and out of the cage.
DING! DING! DING!
WINNER AND NEW XWF X-TREME CHAMPION: LYCANA
HHL: I… I don’t believe what I just saw...
Lycana is handed the X-Treme Championship, and assisted by Marf, raises it above her head as officials race down to help Alias. It takes too long to open the cage door so some people just start spraying the fire with an extinguisher from the other side of the cage.
Eventually the door opens and officials with fire blankets can rush in and throw them on Alias’s body. One tries to do so, but the blanket just falls to the ground.
The official lifts the blanket up, and though the fire is gone, there is no body.
All that’s left of Alias is ash.
HHL: I… I think we just saw the end of Alias.
Pip: I think I'm going to spew...[/center]
The honeyed rasp of Atara's voice blares over the facility's PA in unison with those words appearing on the multitude of screens and displays littering the arena.
HELLO DOVES
The crowd pops and gets to their feet shouting in near total unison a single word.
OPA!
Arena lights start to pulse in time with the music and multiple vertical streams of pyro erupt across the front of stage. Strutting with purpose, Atara emerges from the back taking spot centerstage atop the ramp. Posing for the camera, a wink and kiss is given to the viewers at home.
Grunge walking to the ring steps, she climbs and stops at the top to posture again for her adoring public. Hand on her hip, the Grecian moves to the middle of the apron to blows a final kiss to the camera and enters the ring through the middle rope.
Vinnie Lane: “I love when Atara grunge walks. It makes lots of sense and really fits her aesthetic.”
Vinnie Lane: “Bidness is about to pick up!”
Gun shot sounds blast on the X-Tron, the smoke arises on the entrance way and the camera pans around the arena, and then it pinpoints Black who's coming out of the entrance stage. He takes a look around the ring, and he walks down the ring ignoring some of the fans, then he gets to the steel steps he goes at it with one of the fans, and he pushes one of them on the floor. Then JB smiles and climbs the steps and enters the ring, then stands in the ring raising a fist in the air.
Vinnie Lane: “Folks this is going to be a severe clash of styles. Atara is a polished ring worker with technical skills and nuance… John Black is a FIGHTER. It’s going to be interesting to see these two go toe to toe!”
DING! DING! DING!!!
Robot Referee MARTY signals for the bell and then slowly drags the Internet Championship off to the side of the ring using its vacuum base.
Atara Themis doesn’t hesitate to tangle up with Black, locking up with him when he comes in looking for a square up. She switches and slips into a rear waist lock, then picks his ankle from behind and drops him onto his belly. She then floats over him and spins on his back, laughing as JB is left to just lay there waiting for her to finish.
Atara gets off of Black, laughing, and skips around the ring as he gets to his feet. Black straightens out his cargo pants and tightens his boots as she continues to circle, and then he pulls something small out from the back of one of the boots.
Vinnie Lane: “Uh oh dudes… I think I know what that is…”
JB turns and watches as Atara keeps circling him and mocking him, and he just waits for her to take her eyes off of him for the tiniest of seconds… and then he swings his hand out and clobbers her in the temple with the foreign object from his footwear!
Atara collapses and JB shouts to the heavens.
“YOU JUST GOT SLAPJACKED, SUCKAAAAA!”
Vinnie Lane: “Where did JB get that slapjack? Do you order them from Amazon or something? It’s not something we stock in our XWF International Object Cabinet.”
JB kneels over Atara and starts hammer fisting her. Not… not like that. He just rawdogs the crap out of her. Wait, let me try again. JB takes Atara down to pound town, leaving her face down and ass up while he lays a heavy spanking on her.
Damn it.
Look, JB beats her up a lot, okay? And Atara has no real answer for it for quite a while, having no option other than to curl up and find the bottom rope with her hands, forcing MARTY to call for a break. JB won’t relent, though, and MARTY has to initiate emergency forced-break protocols, spraying JB down with a high velocity water cannon as if he’d wandered into a suburban diner in the 1950s.
With JB wet and gasping for air, Atara regroups and plants a boot in the back of his neck, pushing his throat down across the bottom rope. She then races across the ring and hits the opposite ropes, rebounding and leaping onto JB’s back with a modified bronco buster, really snapping his larynx across the strand.
Moving in to continue the assault on JB’s airway, Atara leans her weight across his head, choking him mercilessly while he kicks and tries to escape. Once again MARTY is forced to intervene, shooting out a grappling hook that pulls Atara away. MARTY flashes red warning lights at Themis, threatening a disqualification… and then Atara winks and reaches under the strap of her top. She unhooks her bra and pulls it out from under her ring gear, and wraps it around MARTY’s eye cameras! MARTY is blinded!
Vinnie Lane: “Atara just made it impossible for the official in this match to see! MARTY is spinning around wildly, its distress sirens going off loudly! What a saucy little minx Atara Themis is!”
Atara smirks and turns her attention back to JB… but gets SLAPJACKED again! Themis falls down onto her face and Black pounces, straddling her back and repeatedly slapjacking her to kingdom come. He grabs her by the hair and… some of it comes off! They were extensions! JB looks grossed out for a sec, but then he takes one of the long extensions and wraps it around Atara’s chin, cranking back on her in a modified camel clutch that’s got Themis’ eyes bulging out of her skull.
Black tosses the extensions out of the ring with a loud laugh, and then he heads over to where MARTY is bumping blindly into a corner. He undoes the lacy bra from MARTY’s cameras and then moves to toss it… but instead he tucks it down into his pants. MARTY blinks its lights in appreciation as JB heads back over to Themis and lifts her up from the mat…
JUDGMENT OF PARIS!
Themis hits a bullseye on the bicycle knee and John Black keels over backwards and hits the mat like an imploded Trump Plaza Casino in Atlantic City. Themis herself falls to her knees as she clutches her reddened throat, gasping for air. When she gets a little O2 back into her brain she realizes JB is out cold on the mat and she crawls over him as MARTY races over for a count!
1!
2!!
Kickout by John Black!
Vinnie Lane: “Looks like it took Atara just a little bit too long to take advantage of that big move! That could have been the opportunity the champion needed!”
Black rolls out of the ring and crawls underneath of it as Atara tries to argue with a literal robot about whether it was a fair and balanced count. The thing has an atomic clock, Atara, this is a bad look.
Vinnie Lane: “We’ve done countless audits on MARTY. His Dominion software is in tip top shape!”
Themis finally gives up her pointless challenge and goes out of the ring looking for JB. She pulls up the ring skirting and out the challenger rolls, now wearing a full astronaut suit. Atara is taken aback by the sight and JB flips up his sun visor to make some pretty lewd movements with his tongue. He then headbutts the absolute dogshit out of her and she crumbles to the floor.
Vinnie Lane: “We probably shouldn’t have left those suits under there, but there’s not a lot of storage space, you know? Remember, we are DEFINITELY on the ACTUAL moon. Crew people needed the suits!”
JB uses the little rocket jets on the back of his astronaut suit which I am sure totally work like this in real life, and he flies up into the air over the ring. When Atara rolls onto her back JB turns off the jets and comes careening back to the lunar surface with a HUGE elbow drop. JB grabs Atara and slams her face into the apron, then rolls her up onto it. JB follows and pulls Atara up onto his shoulders into a torture rack… and then drops to the floor, pulling Atara down in a DDT!
Vinnie Lane: “He calls it the RaWkUs Driver, and it might win him the Internet Championship here tonight!”
Black hurries to roll Atara Themis back into the ring, and then he crawls in after her. He throws his weight across Themis’ chest with a lateral press, and MARTY blinks the count!
1!
2!!
Atara gets a boot on the bottom rope!
Vinnie Lane: “Big mistake by John Black! Themis just saved her championship because JB left her too close to the ropes!”
Black slaps his hand down on the mat and then drags Themis closer to the center of the ring. He pulls her up by her rear waistband, tucking her head between his knees, then he pulls her up into a piledriver position!
Vinnie Lane: “This is going to give JB the title if he can land Tha Undaground Noize!!”
Black hops and lands on his backside, but Atara is in front of him in a handstand! She posted her arms downward just in time to save herself from being piledriven, and one backwards handspring later she’s standing in front of a seated JB!
Themis reaches down and twists the astronaut helmet around so that the visor is behind Black’s head, and then she starts sending vicious kicks into his torso. Black covers up as best he can and fights to his feet, pulling the helmet off and tossing it away so he can see, and then turns to Themis.
JUDGMENT OF PARIS! AGAIN!!!
Black starts counting the tiny moons that are now spinning around his head, and he falls over onto his back. Themis wastes no time sitting with her butt on his face and her shins pinning his shoulders down. She grabs his ankles and leans back, jackknifing his own legs over him for the pin!
1!
2!!
3!!!
Winner and STILL Internet Champion - Atara Themis
As the action in the ring settles following the Internet championship match, a commotion can be heard on the stage.
PC: Hang on, folks. It looks like we’re having some technical difficulties here.
It’s more than that.
A fire burns on part of the stage.
Several nameless staff members and officials rush out onto stage, armed with fire extinguishers.
HHL: Hey, fire eats oxygen, right?
PC: Yeah… why?
HHL: How much oxygen do we have on this station?
PC: Uh… crap! Somebody put that thing out, quick!
The fire extinguishers blast onto the flames. After several short blasts, it quickly subsides.
PC: Thank God! Let’s get back on with the show.
TIG O’BITTIES: The following contest is a LUMBERJACK MATCH!
FOR THE XWF ANARCHY CHAMPIONSHIP!
Introducing first: The Lumberjacks!
The entire bWo roster, Dr. Spleenripper, Taylor Hamm, JUNI!, Fernanda Teixeria, Muscle Midget, Strawberry Delight, Johnny Miami, Owl Man and Big Preesh all make their way down to the ring.
PC: Heather, let’s talk about what has to be the most blatantantly one-sided Anarchy Championship match in history! A Lumberjack match featuring nothing but these sellout, scumbag bWo wrestlers on Miss Fury’s payroll.
[reg]HHL: It may not be fair, but you have to give the Devil her due, Miss Fury knows exactly how to tip the scales in her favor, and she’s doing it again tonight. That’s the markings of a woman who WANTS to win.[/red]
PC: I’m fine with wanting to win, but do it with honor!
HHL: No honor amongst thieves.
PC: You can say that again!
As the bWo enforcers for the match settle in around the ring, the stadium goes black, with red strobe lights.
TIG: Introducing first… the challenger. From Toronto, Canada. MISS FURY!
Fury sways out from under the XTron, the BWO World Championship flashing through the red strobe lights on her waist. She makes her way to the ring.
HHL: Well look here, Pip! Fury usually comes out to the ring with Dixon or CCP for big matches, and here she is all alone. Don’t you think it was a little preemptive to claim she was stacking the deck?
PC: All alone my butt! Just look at the ring! It’s covered in bWo scum. AND LOOK! There’s even Muscle Midget holding the ropes for his boss! I thought he was a “good guy”.
HHL: It’s always wise to be “good” to the person who is signing your checks!
PC: Pfft. Sounds like YOU should be commentating with Tony, WHATEVER his face is on the next bWo show.
Fury’s music winds down as she takes center ring with a microphone and begins to speak,
But RUBY! Blares through the speakers as the stadium goes Banana-lime crazy with a pop!
TIG: AND HER OPPONENT! Being accompanied to the ring by Centurion. She is the XWF ANARCHY CHAMPION!
RUBY!!!
Ruby followed closely by Centurion steps out onto the stage. The crowd is going ballistic with cheers. She hoists the Anarchy Championship into the air as the image is nearly blotted out with flash of the cameras. Centurion points down at the bWo Lumberjacks as the duo make their way to the ring, slapping hands with the crowd.
HHL: Okay Pip, so are you going to call Ruby out for bringing her own personal help as well?
Pip Collins smacks his forehead.
PC: Centurion is one man!
Centurion settles in alongside the other Lumberjacks and doesn’t do a good job making friends as the tension is visible. Ruby scales the turnbuckle, lifting the belt again before hopping in the ring. The ref collects the championship and holds it in the air before handing it off to the timekeeper.
Ruby and Fury glare one another down from their respective corners… but there’s a pause.
Outside of the ring!
The bWo roster starts swarming around Centurion. They’re about to cash in on their odds-game early. They’re cracking knuckles and closing in as Centurion gets into a fighting stance.
I WANNA ROCK!
TIG: Please welcome the special guest enforcer for this match! LOVERBOY VINNIE LANE!
PC: IF YOU THOUGHT THIS SPACE CENTER COULDN’T GET ANY LOUDER, YOU WERE JUST PROVEN WRONG!
Fury spits a venomous scowl at Vinnie as he makes his way to ring side smiling. Slowly the bWo members start backing down from Cent.
HHL: Well I hope you feel better now, Pip!
PC: You’re darn straight I do! If there’s one person who actually cares about the integrity of this company it’s this man. Vinnie Lane is here to make sure this is a fair contest!.
Vinnie settles in at ringside mostly ignoring Fury’s venom as the bell rings.
Fury has to break away from her moment of rage with Lane and focus on Ruby now. The Og of PG is already rushing after her challenger. They lockup quickly in the center of the ring, but the momentum whips into a couple of irish whip reversals before Fury finally gets the upper hand and sends Ruby into the ropes. But with a flash Ruby has already leapt and springboarded off of the ropes, turning around to strike Fury in the face with a dropkick. Ruby rushes back over to the downed Fury and covers quickly.
1!
NO!!!
Fury snags Ruby and pulls her down into a cradle!
1!
2!!
SO CLOSE!!!
PC: The match was nearly over just then!
HHL: I thought Fury had to cheat to win, Pip?
Both women are two their feet. A back hand from Fury sends Ruby stumbling back. Fury stays on the Anarchy Champion, grabbing her face and raking the eyes. Ruby shouts out holding her face and tries to turn to avoid any more damage in that area. But Fury isn’t letting her go anywhere. She grabs Ruby by the back of the head and pulls her lower back down across her knees with a backstabber.
But Fury doesn’t cover! She sits on Ruby’s back and wrenches her up forcefully into a camel clutch. The move is wearing Ruby down, and to make matters worse, Fury is now clawing her eyes while still applying the hold. Ruby shrieks out in pain and starts doing her best to break free and slide towards the ropes. She shifts her knees and starts dragging herself, Fury still planted firmly on her back and digging in deeper with the nails.
The ref gets down in position, and Fury moves her fingernails from Ruby’s eyes. The champion pulls hard, dragging herself towards the ropes. She gets a hand free and starts reaching out for the ropes. She’s so close!
BUT WHAT’S THIS!?
BIG PRESH IS UP ON THE APRON!
This distracts the ref who goes over to order the big man down.
Ruby grabs the ropes! But the ref doesn’t see! JUNI! Climbs on the apron near Ruby and bites her hand causing it to drop from the ropes. Centurion runs over to fight with Juni!, but is quickly surrounded again by the bWo. Meanwhile Fury drags Ruby back to the center of the ring! She’s about to lock in the hold even tighter!
BUT RUBY FINDS A WAY!
During the slide she cradles Fury up with a schoolboy!
1!
2!!
ANOTHER CLOSE CALL!!!
Ruby gets to her feet, favoring her back. Her eyesight still shaky from the eye rake and the fingernails. She grabs for Fury who counters right away. A shoulder breaker! She lifts Ruby again! ANOTHER SHOULDER BREAKER!
Again Fury doesn’t go for the pin instead she pulls Ruby back up and works her near the ropes with punches and kicks. Ruby does everything she can to fend off the blows, but she trips backwards and falls through the first and second ropes, catching herself on the apron. Fury charges her and hipcheckes her through the ropes sending Ruby crashing into the waiting arms of the bWo roster. Big Preesh smiles at Ruby and torpedoes her into the steel turnbuckle post. Juni! Smashes the downed Ruby in the face with a running knee! Followed by a running knee from Johnny Miami who then stands Ruby up and whips her into a running spear from Muscle Midget! The bWo roster collectively lift Ruby back up and roll her back into the ring to a chop-licking Miss Fury.
Fury covers!
1!
2!!
NO!!!
Somehow Ruby was able to survive that onslaught.
AND ON THE OUTSIDE OF THE RING!
Superkicks galore!
Cent superkicks Preesh, he superkicks Juni and Johnny. But the rest of the bWo roster jump on his back to take him down. Fury starts shouting out at Lane, asking him to eject Centurion from ringside, but Vinnie ignores her.
AND FROM BEHIND!
RUBY!
A flipping drop toe hold! This gets Fury dizzy as she gets to her feet, to just notice Ruby leaping off from the turnbuckle! Ruby takes Fury down with a springboard hurricanrana!
The champ covers!
1!
2!!
FURY JUST BARELY ESCAPES!
Both women spring to their feet!
JUDAS EFFECT!
NO!!!
Ruby ducked underneath Fury’s spinning elbow! She hits the ropes and charges back towards Fury! JUDAS EFFECT AGAIN! NO! This time Ruby slides under Fury’s legs, stands and levels Fury with a pele’ kick!
Ruby runs over to the turnbuckle! She climbs up but Fernanda Teixeria is there! He goes to push Ruby off, but Centurion climbs up and flings them both off of the apron with a German Suplex! Ruby turns back to Fury now to leap…
BUT SHE’S CAUGHT IN THE EYES WITH A POISON RED MIST.
RUBY IS BLINDED ON THE TURNBUCKLE!
HELL HATH NO FURY!
But no!
As Fury grabs Ruby’s arm, the champ, despite being blinded counters!
RUBY CUTTER FROM THE TURNBUCKLE!
Ruby drapes an arm over Fury!
1!
2!!
NO!!!
Fury kicks out somehow! The fans in the arena all stand to their feet in anticipation as both women are slow to their feet. Ruby pulls up on the ropes with one hand, desperately trying to wipe away the red mist with the other. But Fury recovers and limps her way over to the vulnerable OG of PG. Fury works around Ruby’s body…
BLACK WIDOW!
PC: OH NO! FURY ALMOST HAS THE SUBMISSION LOCKED IN!
HHL:We’re looking at YOUR new Anarchy Champ, Pip!
Fury has her leg around Ruby and goes to pull the arm back, but somehow Ruby is able to shift the momentum of the hold and Fury flies off of Ruby, through the ropes and outside of the ring, crashing into the bWo Lumberjacks!
They all get up to their feet and help Fury up… but as they all stand!
TOPE CON HERO!
Ruby dives over the top rope and wipes everyone out! The crowd is blowing the roof off of the building! Everyone is down on the floor, but Big Preesh is up to his feet first and already carrying Fury back to the apron. She stands up in the ring with some assistance from the ropes.
“DISQUALIFY HER VINNIE! SHE ATTACKED THE LUMBERJACKS! DQ HER AND NAME ME THE WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION OR I WILL SO EVERYONE THE TAPE!”
Vinnie doesn’t budge though, and simply replies:
“No.”
Fury screams in rage and begins throwing a fit in the middle of the ring.
RUBY CUTTER!
Ruby pops to the center of the ring and levels her foe with the neckbreaker! Fury never saw it coming!
HHL: Where in the hell did Ruby come from!?
She scales the turnbuckle!
PC: I don’t know! But I do know where she’s going!!!
RUBY IN THE ROUGH!
SHE COVERS!
1!
2!!
3!!!
Winner and STILL Anarchy Champion - Ruby
Suddenly the arena lights go out!
"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane: "Wait a minute, what's going on now!?"
After a moment of built anticipation, the X-Tron fires up with a familiar theme!
"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane: "Holy smokes! It's! It's! SOLACE TATUM! I can't believe my eyes! I thought she was DEAD!?!"
Miss Fury's intuition compels her to check behind when she hears the roar of the XWF fans. When she does, her skin turns pale at the mere sight of a returning Solace. Fury throws her hands up in a submissive manner as she backs away slowly, Solace replacing each lost inch with a step towards her.
"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane: "After March Madness, it was implied that Miss Fury had put some sort of hit on Solace Tatum, but it seems that the news of her demise was premature!"
Something is said between them until, in sheer desperation, Miss Fury attempts to hurl herself from the ring but Solace grabs her hair, pulling her back in with a vicious whip to send Fury back into the middle of the squared circle. Fury turns, on her knees, still begging Solace to have mercy, but Solace doesn't want to hear it. As Fury backs herself to the opposite side of the ring, Big Money Oswald has noticed what's going on and enters the ring behind Solace. Without ever losing sight of Fury's position, Solace sends a leg back and catches Oswald's jaw with a superkick.
"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane: "It's like she could sense him coming! If I had a color guy, he's probably say she smelt him coming! Either way!"
It's enough to make his eyes glaze over before turning and falling face down on the mat; the ring shakes like an earthquake as he drops bringing attention to the rest of the bWo who had walked up to the entrance way, now rushing back.
"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane: "Uh oh! Looks like the rest of BOB has realized what's happening in the ring!"
Fury takes advantage of the distraction and spins around, throwing her elbow to hit Solace with the Judas Effect, but Solace leans back just as quick to evade it, grabbing Fury's head with a twist of her own and dropping it to the mat in a falling face cutter to a huge pop.
"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane: "The Sol-Searcher!"
Chris Page throws both hands to his skull watching the move he taught Miss Fury fail miserably in this scenario. He signals for the BoB members to hurry up their pace to assist Fury, but Solace throws herself feet first into Big Preesh as he climbs up to the apron, sending him back off and onto Bobby Bourbon and Chris Page.
"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane: "The guy who isn't even in BOB just took out BOB! I doubt that helps his chances of gaining OFFICIAL entry dudes!"
Behind Solace, Miss Fury is trying to make her escape, sliding out of the ring and heads for the guard rail with haste to a chorus of XWF boos. Solace sees the rest of the BoB storming the ring and makes her exit in the same fashion, following the very path Miss Fury paved through the fans but she has successfully gotten away. Solace disappears into the audience the same.
"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane: "Miss Fury has escaped into the crowd like the coward that she is, but now that Solace Tatum has made her presence known, I think this is far from over!"
Backstage, Fury marches up to Lane at gorilla!
Miss Fury: “What in the hell was that!?”
“Loverboy” Vinnie Lane: “Exactly what it looked like!”
Miss Fury: “You knew what would happen if you betrayed me! Just remember, you’ve brought this on yourself!”
Miss Fury turns her back to Lane.
Miss Fury: “Siri, call Tommy!”
Lane reaches out for Fury’s shoulder to get her attention.
“Loverboy” Vinnie Lane: “I wouldn’t do that if I were you!”
Fury turns to see Lane with some sort of contract in hand.
Miss Fury: “Tommy, stand by!”
She looks Lane in the eye.
Miss Fury: “That had best be some sort of reversal of decision!”
Lane smirks.
“Loverboy” Vinnie Lane: “Not exactly. See, after you made your bold request to have me cheat for you, or you’d release that tape, I decided to take matters into my own hands.”
Fury’s nostrils flare and her eyes bulge.
Miss Fury: “WHAT DID YOU DO!”
“Loverboy” Vinnie Lane: “Nothing much, just had a chat with a fellow principal owner of the XWF. Maybe struck a deal with him to change the main event of your next bWo show.”
Miss Fury shakes her head disagreeing.
Miss Fury: “No! What!? You can’t do that!”
“Loverboy” Vinnie Lane: “Can and did actually! It was pretty easy to be honest. Since Sammy Madison is missing, Theo agreed that you guys needed an even bigger name to replace him!”
Miss Fury seems distracted by the voice in her ear.
Miss Fury: “I SAID WAIT TOMMY!”
Looking back to Lane she asks.
Miss Fury: “Fine, you had my opponent changed. WHATEVER! I fail to see how this is supposed to prevent me from releasing that footage!”
“Loverboy” Vinnie Lane: “Don’t you want to know who your new opponent is?”
Fury huffs.
Miss Fury: “Fine! Who is it!?”
“Loverboy” Vinnie Lane: “ME!”
Miss Fury: “WHAT!? So that’s it huh!? You think you can make a deal to let me walk out with THIS title!?”
Miss Fury holds up the bWo World Title.
“Loverboy” Vinnie Lane: “What!? No! Ew! I don’t want THAT! This match is for that tape!”
Miss Fury burst out laughing!
Miss Fury: “You don’t need to fight me for it! You can make a copy tonight when it airs on Action 9 News! Tommy! Sen-”
Lane reaches out covering Fury’s mouth!
“Loverboy” Vinnie Lane: “Sorry, but I don’t think you want to do that!”
She huffs before barking at Tommy through the headset. “STAND BY!” She looks to Lane.
Miss Fury: “Give me one reason!”
“Loverboy” Vinnie Lane: “Because according to your contract with bWo, if you do anything to purposely sabotage any Main Event match up, all of your shares in the company will become default and transfer to Theo Pryce, and considering that the contents of that tape are the big prize in our match, I’d say that you releasing that footage would constitute as sabotage, wouldn’t you?”
Miss Fury: “This can’t be!”
Fury snatches the contract papers out of Lane’s hand and feverishly skims through it! After a moment she seems to come across something she doesn’t like. She scowls at Lane.
Miss Fury: “Tommy, do not release the footage.”
A silent reply.
Miss Fury: “I said DO NOT RELEASE THE FOOTAGE!”
Fury marches up to Lane, shoving the contracts into his chest.
Miss Fury: “You wanna play this game? Fine! But it’s NOT going to end the way you hope!”
Fury turns and storms off as the camera zooms in on Lane’s satisfied grin.
The lights go out…the crowd screams with anticipation for who is to enter! The soft sounds of Stryper’s Yahweh starts to play. The crowd erupts into loud cheers as the music takes off and Morbid Angel appears on the entrance ramp like a gift from God!
He swiftly makes his way down to the ring, greeting people as he goes, shaking hands and giving high fives.
He gets to the ringside and climbs the stairs, He then steps over the top rope and awaits his opponent.
HHL: Here we go! It is Morbid and Dixon for the Television Championship!
Andre and Morbid gaze across the ring from each other before like two bulls they charge towards each other where they collide in the center of the ring immediately throwing a series of right hands as they battle back and forth they go to the delight of the crowd! The exchange continues before Dixon drives a knee across the midsection which doubles Morbid over. Dixon snatches Morbid by the head where he runs him towards the Cage! Dixon flings Morbid towards the mesh of the Cage! Morbid blocks with both hands, Dixon see’s this and charges towards Morbid, Morbid side steps Dixon where he takes him and flings him towards the Cage! Dixon blocks just as Morbid did! Morbid see’s this and as Andre turns around Morbid charges with a clothesline, Dixon ducks and Morbid is sent bouncing off the ropes where he is met with a snap powerslam by Dixon! Andre makes the cover.
1!!
2!!
THR…
Angel kicks out.
Pip: Near fall for the Champion as he tries to establish dominance in the opening minutes.
Dixon pops back up to his feet where he immediately starts stomping away at Morbid Angel. Dixon reaches down picking Morbid up off the canvass where he swings with a right, Morbid blocks and counters with a right hand and then a chop followed by another right and another chop! Morbid takes Dixon and rams him head and face first into the Cage!
Morbid Angel starts to rake Andre’s face across the mesh of the steel from side to side in an attempt to open him up. Morbid yanks Dixon’s face off the Cage only to drive him back into the Cage! Dixon bounces face first off the Cage back out towards the center of the ring where Morbid delivers a Superkick to the right knee dropping Dixon down to one knee! Morbid follows up with a Shining Wizard to the temple of the Champion knocking him back to the mat. The challenger makes the cover.
1!!
2!!
THR….
Dixon shoots a shoulder up off the mat.
HHL: Both of these two are so evenly matched. It is going to come down to who makes the biggest mistake.
Pip: And who uses the cage as a partner, which thus far Morbid has that edge.
Morbid takes a mount position on Dixon and starts hammering down with a flurry of piston like right hands! Morbid lands six or seven shots before stepping back up to his feet. He reaches down picking Dixon up off the mat where he flings him into the turnbuckles of a neutral corner. Morbid charges in after Dixon with a clothesline driving Andre back into the buckles!
Morbid fires Andre across the ring and into the opposite buckles. Morbid Angel charges across the ring where he eats a reverse elbow by Dixon which staggers Morbid back out towards the center of the ring. Dixon comes out of the corner snatching a double leg take down! Dixon then catapults Morbid sending him sailing face and body first off the Cage!
Dixon pops back up to his feet and as Morbid Angel bounces off the Cage he is met with a Olympic Slam by the Champion! Andre presses the cover.
1!!
2!!
THRE…
Morbid Angel kicks out to a pop from the crowd.
10:00
HHL: Andre Dixon swinging the tide back into his favor with that Olympic Slam.
Pip: I wonder if Lycana is watching?
Dixon gets back up off the mat where he picks Morbid up and sends him sailing into the mesh of the Cage! Angel bounces off the Cage where he turns and walks into a boot to the midsection from Dixon which doubles him over. Andre sets Morbid up for a Powerbomb! He hoists the challenger up in the air only to see Morbid counter with a sit out face buster driving Andre face first into the canvass! The crowd pops as Morbid starts to work his way back up to his feet.
Andre pushes himself up off the mat and as he reaches his feet Morbid mows over him with a clothesline taking Dixon down! Andre pops back up to his feet where Morbid mows him down a second time! Dixon pops back up where Morbid snatches Andre by the throat where he hoists him up and drives him down into the mat with a thunderous chokeslam! The challenger drops down into a cover!
1!!
2!!
THRE…
Dixon escapes with another kick out!
HHL: Back and forth these two gladiators are going!
Morbid starts to work his way back up to his feet as the crowd rallies behind him. Morbid reaches down picking Andre up off the mat where he laces him across the chest with a knife edge chop echoing throughout the moon base. Morbid drives Dixon back into the ropes where he shoots him across the ring with an Irish Whip, Dixon bounces off the ropes where Morbid takes him up into the air with a Fireman’s Carry!
Morbid transitions into the Ace Crusher!
The crowd explodes as Morbid Angel rolls Andre over making the cover as he hoods the near leg.
1!!
2!!
THRE…
Dixon pops a shoulder up off the mat before the fatal count of three to a collective gasp from the crowd.
Pip: We are talking eyelashes away from crowning a new Television Champion!
HHL: Morbid Angel needs to keep the pressure on! The crowd here on the moon base is solidly behind the challenger.
Morbid Angel starts to work his way back to his feet. He reaches down picking Andre up off the mat where he runs him face first off the Cage! Morbid positions Andre where he hoists him up in the air before driving him down into the mat with a thunderous Powerbomb!
5:00
Morbid drops down making another cover!
1!!
2!!
THRE…
Another kickout from Andre Dixon!
HHL: Stay on him Morbid!
Morbid reaches one knee where he starts hammering down with a series of right hands to the forehead of Dixon! Another four shots before he steps up to his feet. Morbid reaches down picking Andre up, he takes him back into the ropes where he shoots him across the ring with an Irish Whip, Andre bounces off the near side where he ducks under a clothesline attempt from Angel! Dixon bounces off the far side and as Morbid turns around he is met with a Clothesline from Hell that turns Morbid Angel inside out!
Both men are down and there is nothing the referee can do but look on as the crowd gets louder and louder. Several seconds pass before both Morbid and Andre start to stir with Dixon being the first to his feet. He sizes Morbid up and as the challenger reaches his feet Dixon explodes towards him with a Spear that turns Morbid inside out!
Andre pops back up to his feet before letting out a primal scream as he picks Morbid up off the mat and drivers him down into the mat with the Deadly Force Spinbuster Slam! Dixon makes the cover hooking the near leg.
1!!
2!!
3!!
WINNER AND STILL TELEVISION CHAMPON: ANDRE DIXON
The cage starts to rise as Andre gets back to his feet where his arm is raised in victory before begin awarded the TV Title which he yanks from the referee’s hands before making his way towards a set of buckles and steps up on the middle rope while holding up the title.
HHL: Can anyone stop the roll that Andre Dixon is on? Morbid Angel brought his A-Game tonight but tonight it is all about Dixon.
Pip: It is safe to say that Andre has bounced back after a rocky debut and tonight he continues to impress.
Andre steps off the ropes before exiting the ring where he makes his way backstage.
HHL: Up next here at Leap of Faith… Pip, for the last two months the XWF Universe has been treated to a saga of will he or won’t he and tonight, Ned Kaye will defend the XWF Hart Championship against Thaddeus Duke inside the House of Horrors.
PIP: What I know, is that this match should not even be happening. The stipulation was that Thad Duke needed to beat EXP in order to get this match and he didn’t!
HHL: He did!
PIP: By disqualification! By disqualification! He didn’t beat anyone!
The ring crew works feverishly to get the chamber in place as we cut back to the announcers.
HHL: They’ve been playing this game of one upsmanship for the last several weeks and Pip, Thaddeus Duke might’ve won that battle as we get ready for this match.
PIP: We’ll see who laughs last tonight when Ned Kaye beats Thaddeus Duke at his own game. And Heather, Mr. Fucking Perfect Thad Duke won’t have an excuse when he loses to the Nefarious One!
HHL: Thad’s never been one to make excuses Pip, but be that as it may, no matter who fails to win tonight, neither of them will have the opportunity to make excuses.
PIP: The Nefarious One erases any lingering doubt tonight.
HHL: This match will be contested inside Paul Heyman’s House of Horrors...
PIP: Look at that monstrosity!
HHL: They’ll start inside the chamber and every five minutes any one of four weapons pods will be unlocked and the match will continue until there is either a pinfall, submission, or one man can not continue.
The following contest… is the House of Horrors match set for one fall!
The… Lunar chapter? Of the XWF Universe…. The Luniverse... pops loudly. I mean, they knew it was next on account of the big ass chamber surrounding the ring.
Ladies and gentlemen… JAY-Z AND ALICIA KEYYYYS!
The crowd cheers as the stage lights up with the New York duo getting set to perform.
HHL: A little known fact, both competitors in the match tonight, from New York.
PIP: Thad was born in Connecticut, Heather!
HHL: Yes but, he makes his primary residence in Manhattan!
Jay-Z and Keys perform Empire State of Mind with a ton of crowd participation. At it’s conclusion, the duo gets a standing ovation from the Lunar crowd.
PIP: That damn kid always gets whatever he wants!
HHL: You do realize he foots the bill for all of his… eccentricities right?
Still on stage as the crowd begins to quiet, Jay-Z still has a mic.
Yo XWF Universe! he shouts and garners the intended reaction before he hands the mic to Alicia Keys.
Ladies and Gentlemen… New York City’s favorite adopted son… THADDEUS DUUUKE!
HHL: Thaddeus Duke, paying homage tonight like he has in the past, and this time it’s never bben more fitting… he pays homage to arguably the greatest mat technician in the history of the business!
As the Hitman guitar riff strikes the airwaves, roaming golden colored Lionheart logos pass over the crowd. Thad enters the stage wearing trunks inspired by the Hitman’s. Where Bret’s black is Thad’s white. Bret’s pink is Thad’s gold. Bret’s white trim is Thad’s black. Where Bret’s had “HITMAN’ down the leg, Thad’s reads “LIONHEART”. On the rear where Bret’s logo would be, Thad’s logo now rests. He dons a similar leather jacket with his own gold logo on the back and completes the look with gold Hitman inspired shades.
On stage, Thad greets Jay-Z and Alicia Keys with a handshake and a hug respectively before starting for the ring. About midway down the ramp, Thad turns his back to the ring and walks backward, giving a Hart-style pose as he walks, cueing the golden pyro.
HHL: Listen to this crowd, Pip!
PIP: What!?
HHL: Duke Nation has invaded the Lunar surface!
As is his custom, Thad spends several moments with different members of Duke Nation, taking pics and signing autographs before he finally steps into the chamber. He does another Hitman pose in the ring as the old school Bret Hart pyro bursts overhead. As the music fades, Thad exits, placing his shades on some young fan before getting back inside the chamber.
HHL: I just noticed something about his gear.
PIP: It’s a blatant ripoff of Bret Hart?
HHL: Like Bret had 4 hearts on his inner thigh, Thad has three. Congratulations to Thaddeus Duke in becoming a father of three in short order over the last several weeks.
PIP: Sebastian Duke is a grandfather?
Annnnd his opponent!
The lights in the moonbase shut off as the music begins playing. Slowly, little snowflakes begin to fall across the X-Tron, the ramp slowly illuminating as more and more snow begins to fall. Strangely, figures in black hoods and robes begin to walk out onto the ramp, holding lit candles and walking two by two. After eight of them have walked out, stretched out across the ramp with four on each side of it, a final figure in a blood red robe with shoulders that point upwards stands in the middle of them as the song begins to close. Finally, each pair begins to blow out their candles while the light of the ramp and X-Tron dim, leaving the arena in pitch blackness again.
The lights burst back to life with the start of the music as the red cloak drops, revealing The Nefarious One himself! A snowstorm starts overtaking the X-Tron as his name stretches across the screen, a cascade of boos nearly drowning out the music as the twisted Ned Kaye smiles in fitting fashion.
Hailing from New York City! Coming in at two hundred and twenty-four pounds! HE IS YOUR XWF HART CHAMPIIOOOOOOOOOON
PIP: Now, HERE is someone to get excited about!
HHL: The only exciting thing about Ned Kaye tonight is that he might finally eat his words after taunting and tormenting Duke!
Ned walks forward towards the ramp, his eyes set solely on his opponent, his Hart Title around his waist. The crowd voices their vicious disapproval of him to no response. The cloaked figures depart, taking the red robe with them as the champion's name is called!
THE NEFARIOUS ONE… NEEEEEEEEEEEED KAYEEEEE!!!
Ned steps into the chamber, taking off the Hart belt and seemingly reaching to hand it to the ref before letting it drop to the mat and stepping on it with his right foot, grinding his heel against the face plate. The entire stadium fills with a hateful cry as Ned disrespects the belt, staring Duke in the face as he does so.
The referee retrieves the Hart Championship from Ned Kaye's feet and shows it to Thaddeus Duke. Duke takes the championship and kisses the center plate before shooting Ned a little grin.
HHL: Always cocky, always confident is Thaddeus Duke!
PIP: The word you’re looking for is obnoxious.
After passing the title to the outside official, the chamber is closed, locked and the referee signals for the bell.
HHL: In a quick tale of the tape here, Thaddeus Duke has Ned Kaye by an inch and Ned has Thad by roughly 7 pounds.
With the two men of similar size and weight, neither gains the upper hand. Instead, they just reverse position on each other all over the ring before finally spilling out between the ropes to the steel grating outside the ring. The tumble causes them to release their tie up and both men get back to their feet on the outside. Ned charges quickly but Thad takes him down with a side headlock take down.
Not willing to stay down just yet, Ned bridges out of the headlock and traps Thad in a hammerlock. Knowing the environment they’re in, Ned takes advantage and with the hammerlock applied, lifts his body in the air and drives a knee down into Thad’s back and rib cage. Ned then torques the hammerlock in just a bit tighter and Thad winces in pain before sending his free elbow backwards into Ned’s face. The shot stuns Kaye long enough for Thad to send another one square into the jaw. Ned lets go and staggers backward, falling on his ass.
Thad and Ned start to get up simultaneously. With Thad against the ropes, Ned charges toward him, but Thad falls to his ass and pulls down the top rope, causing Ned to tumble over the top rope and into the ring. Using the top rope, Thad springs back to his feet as inside the ring, Ned starts to get back to his feet. Duke springboards from the top rope into the ring and takes Kaye down with a headscissor takeover.
2:12
2:11
2:10
Thad gets back to his feet quickly as Ned begins to search for answers within himself. Kaye begins to crawl toward the other side of the ring but Thad grabs a hold of his ankle and drags him toward the center before lifting Kaye by the ankle and driving him knee first into the mat. Kaye grabs at his knee now riddled with pain. Thad rolls him over to his back and looks to apply a spinning to hold, only to drop to his knees, sandwiching Ned’s knee between his own and the ring mat.
Thad backs off for the moment, letting Ned struggle to get to his feet under his own power. As Ned makes it to his feet, Thad goes for a lariat but Kaye ducks underneath and grabs Duke in a rear waste lock. Ned goes for a release German suplex but Thad uses his athleticism to his advantage and lands on his feet. Kaye thought he did good and turns to find his suplex victim but finally eats the lariat.
Kaye rolls over and starts to get back to his feet and Thad runs toward the ropes. Just as Ned gets himself upright, Thad drops him with another lariat. Again, Ned rolls over and starts to get back up, only for Thad to be ready, nailing Ned Kaye with a crisp dropkick to the jaw sending Kaye right back to the mat.
:02
:01
:00
HHL: And the first of four weapons pods are now open!
PIP: Bide your time Ned!
Ned starts to get back to his feet as Thad turns his head toward the opened pod containing a few tables within before returning his attention to Kaye. Thad whips Ned across the ring toward the corner and chases in after him. As Kaye nears the corner, he leap frogs over Thad. Duke though halts his momentum just before impacting the corner.
Kaye goes for a rear waste lock but eats a hard elbow to his jaw. Kaye backsteps a few and drops to one knee, trying to shake the cobwebs from his currently fogged over brain. Thad one hops it to the top rope and Ned makes it back to a vertical position. Thad backfklips off the top rope and Ned turns to try and telegraph only to get planted head first into the mat with a vicious DDT from Thaddeus Duke.
Rather than go for the pod, Thaddeus tries his luck and hooks the leg of Ned Kaye.
1!
2!
HHL: And Ned Kaye kicks out!
PIP: The Hart Champion, I hate to say it, has been out maneuvered at this point in the match and he really needs an opening. That backflip DDT was a high impact move and who knows how much it took out of him!
4:46
4:45
4:44
Thaddeus gets back to his feet after the kickout and immediately heads to the outside. Inside the pod, Thad drags out the three tables resting within. Hidden behind the tables in the pod are also four Kendo sticks. Duke’s eyes about light up at the revelation. Grabbing one table, he slides it over the top and into the ring. Another, he sets up outside the ring on the steel grating surface of the chamber. The other, he leaves lying against the chain wall. Venturing back inside, he grabs two of the four Kendo sticks and makes his way back into the ring where Ned Kaye is just about back to his feet.
With a stick in each hand, Thad swings the right one toward Ned only for him to see it coming. Kaye delivers an arm drag to Thad, ripping one stick from his hand in the process. Using his five star athleticism, Thad’s back never touches the mat, instead he spins in flight and lands on his feet. Ned realizes this quickly and takes a wild swing with the kendo stick, but Thad ducks it and sends the blunt end of the stick in his hand into Ned’s midsection.
1:14
1:13
1:12
The shot doubled Ned over and Thad was counting on it. He places his stick across Neds face, then takes him to the mat with a Kendo stick assisted Side Russian Legsweep. For a moment, he debates going for the cover but thinks better of it. He drops his Kendo stick for the moment and sets the table up near but not quite in the center of the ring.
With the aide of the Kendo stick that’s still in his hand, Ned Kaye starts to his feet.
CRACK!
Thad, with his Kendo stick now back in his hand, sends it down across Kay’es back.
CRACK!
Again.
Ned winces in pain and tries to reel himself across the ring but takes a shot to the chest. Then another. Kendo shot after Kendo shot has Ned backing himself toward the set up table. Out of desperation, Ned swings his own Kendo but Thad saw it coming and grabs Ned’s arm, stopping the swing. Thad sends a headbutt to the skull of Ned Kaye and Ned staggers backward, finding himself leaning against the edge of the table. With a hard over hand swing, one last shot from Thad’s Kendo, this time impacting Kaye’s head.
Thad finally tosses his splintered Kendo stick and aids Ned up onto the table.
HHL: The defending Hart Champion is in a very precarious situation!
PIP: Of course he is! Thad’s been cheating this whole match!
With Ned Kaye on dream street lying on the table, Thaddeus scales the turnbuckles. With his back to the ring, he peers over his shoulder toward Ned, then up at the top of the pod. Choosing not to jump now, he climbs up to the top of the pod as the XWF Luniverse responds in kind. For a moment, Thad mimics the mannerisms of the Macho Man, then leaps off the top of the pod toward Ned Kaye with a Savage elbow drop!
CRASH!
PIP: NOBODY HOME!
HHL: Thaddeus Duke comes up empty and this is the separation that Ned Kaye needed!
At the last possible second, Ned Kaye rolls off the table and Thaddeus Duke crashes through. The table smashes into smithereens and the fans let out the ooo’s and ahhh’s.
Out of instinct alone, Kaye, still on the mat, searches through the broken bits of table to lean across Thaddeus Duke.
1!
2!
3!????????????????????????????????
HHL: Somehow, some way, Thaddeus Duke manages to kick out here after crashing through that table!
:02
:01
:00
PIP: Pod 2 is open!
Hearing the buzzer sound, Ned jerks his head toward the opened pod and struggles back to his feet. With a flip of the hair, he’s up and at ‘em as he makes his way toward that corner. He steps out of the ring and makes his way into the pod, pulling out a half dozen chairs and multiple pairs of handcuffs.
Knowing his opponent well, and knowing Thaddeus Duke’s resilience, Ned Kaye works quickly. After tossing several of the chairs into the ring, Ned re-enters and wedges a chair in the corner between the top and middle ropes.
Thaddeus Duke is still down in the table debris.
Still working quickly to set up traps, Kaye takes another chair and rushes to the other side of the ring, wedging a chair in that corner. Once complete, he turns to look at Thaddeus who has now begun to move in the debris field.
4:19
4:18
4:17
The countdown clock continues to tick as Ned still goes about setting up traps. On one side of the ring, Ned sets up two chairs facing each other with the seats touching. Not far from those two, he sets up another chair all by itself with its back facing a corner. Finally, Ned returns his attention to Thaddeus Duke who has reached his hands and knees. Quickly, Ned clears some of the table debris from the ring and grabs one of the two remaining chairs, then brings it crashing down across the back of the challenger.
HHL: Thaddeus Duke is in a bad way here, Pip!
PIP: He is but did you see Ned? He knows his opponent. He knows Thad’s resilience. He knows how quickly he can recover and he wasted no time in getting those traps all set up! What we’re seeing is a brand new Nefarious One that NO ONE should be taking lightly!
After the chair shot from Ned, Thad collapses back to the mat. Taking a page out of Thad’s own playbook, Ned Kaye takes the blunt edge of the back of the chair and stabs it down into Thad’s shoulder joint, before moving across to the other shoulder joint. He mimics Thad’s own tactics completing the “Garvin” Stomp on his challenger before turning his attention to the pile of handcuffs he tossed in earlier.
Again, Ned works quickly, securing one end of four of the sets of handcuffs to each of the four top turnbuckles before returning his attention to Duke. Thad has again made it to all fours and instead of delivering another chair shot, Ned grabs Thad under his chin and lifts him to his feet. He turns Thad so that Ned’s back is facing the dual chairs then lifts him up into a suplex. As he slams him down, Thad wiggles out and lands on his feet, letting Ned hit the mat empty handed.
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1:49
Quickly, the Hart Champion gets back to his feet. Thad turns but takes a boot to his midsection. Again, Ned goes for the suplex but Thad blocks it and sends a forearm into Neds chest. Kaye shrugs it off. Again, aiming to send Thad down through the dual chairs. Thad knows it though and despite being trapped in a facelock, he forces Ned backward and sideways and inconveniently, the lone set up chair rests beneath them. Thad reverses another suplex attempt into an attempt of his own only for Ned to counter that. Kaye lands on his feet and turns Thad into a neckbreaker, driving the base of Duke’s skull across the edge of the chair.
Ned smiles at the end result as Thaddeus Duke lies on the mat clutching his neck and kicking his leg against the mat. Ned goes for the cover with a hook of the leg.
1!
2!
3!????????????????????????????????????
HHL: Thaddeus Duke, once again kicks out here at Leap of Faith!
PIP: I’ll give him a little credit, he’s certainly a fighter.
Despite kicking out, Thad Duke is still in some serious pain on the mat as Ned Kaye works his way back to his feet. The wave of momentum firmly behind him, Ned grabs a handful of Thad’s hair and pulls him to his feet. From the vertical base, Ned sends Thad toward one of the corners with the chair wedged within and his back cracks off the chair. He bounces out of the corner for a second before falling to a knee.
Ned grabs a chair lying on the mat and urges Thad to get up. Duke starts to make his way back vertical but needs to use the ropes in order to do so. Kaye runs toward the lone sitting chair and steps up on its seat, then uses the back as a launching point. At the very last second Thad sees him coming and tries to advance out of the corner, only for Ned to come crashing down, wrapping the chair over Thaddeus Duke’s head.
:02
:01
:00
Duke staggers forward with the chair over his head, then falls to his knees before falling face first on the mat, the chair still around him. Ned celebrates like a villainous defending champion for a few moments. The fans give him a stern talking to in boo form.
HHL: This just might not be Thaddeus Duke’s night, Pip.
PIP: I’ve only been telling you that for weeks, Heather. The Nefarious One came to Leap of Faith to plant his flag on Thaddeus Duke’s fallen chest and wipe away once and for all any doubts about him or his ability to get the job done.
Ned stops playing with the crowd to remove the chair wrapped around Thad’s head and roll him over on his back with a lateral press.
1!
2!
3!??????????????????????????????
HHL: Shoulder up!
When Thad pops his shoulder up, the fans come unglued and Ned can hardly believe it.
4:29
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4:27
Ned gets back to his feet and argues the count with the referee for a moment before sending a vicious stomp into the midsection of Thaddeus Duke. The crowd continues to shout their displeasure in Ned’s direction as he makes his way toward the third opened pod. Inside the pod are a few cases of fluorescent light tubes. Ned pulls a case out of the pod and opens it up, retrieving a number of light tubes. He rests a few of them against the nearest turnbuckle. With two others in his hand, Ned makes his way back into the ring.
Making his way over to Thad who is on all fours, Ned wastes little time as he drops one tube and swings the other, smashing it into a thousand little pieces over Thad’s back. A few trickles of blood from his back can be seen as he again starts to get up.
Ned lifts the other tube and twirls it in his hands like a baseball bat while giving the crowd a smirk. As he gets set to swing, he urges Thad to get back to his feet. In response, many in the crowd try to warn Duke. He gets to his feet and turns…
SMASH!
Ned swings the light tube and smashes it against the side of Thad’s head, collapsing him to the mat in a shower of powdery dust and glass shards.
PIP: Ladies and gentlemen! The NEWWWWW SULTAN OF SWING!
HHL: And Thad is busted open!
Instead of going for the win, Ned calls out: WHO WANTS ANOTHER TABLE!? and the crowd continues to boo the Hart Champion. Ned makes his way to the steel grating outside the ring and retrieves a new table, dragging it into the ring.
2:01
2:00
1:59
Inside the ring, Ned quickly goes to work as he sets up the table off center of the ring middle. Meanwhile, Thaddeus Duke struggles to his feet. With Thad on dream street, Ned easily picks him up and lays him across the table then goes for the corner. After climbing to the top rope, he peeks over his shoulder toward the motionless Thad then climbs to the top of the pod.
HHL: Ned Kaye taking a page out of Thaddeus Duke’s playbook!
Ned steadies himself as he stands near the edge of the pod, facing the interior of the ring. He leaps off the pod with a shooting star press!
…
…
CRASH!
HHL: SHELL SHOCKED FROM THADDEUS DUKE!
PIP: GOD! NO!
Before Ned made his landing, Thad rolled off the table and caught Ned with the RKO, sending Kaye crashing through the table himself. With both men now down and out, the referee starts a ten count. At about seven, Thad rolls over to his stomach and rolls Ned too his back, draping an arm over his chest.
1!
2!
3!??????????????????????????????????????
HHL: And the champion kicks out!
XWF Luniverse: THIS IS AWESOME! clap clap clapclapclap
:02
:01
:00
The final pod unlocks and Thad struggles to get to his feet. As he does so, he stumbles forward and lets the turnbuckle break his fall. He stands there winded for several seconds, trying to clear the cobwebs. As he does so, behind him, Ned Kaye is getting back to his feet. Noticing Thad still isn’t quite right, Ned springs into action. Before Thad can react, Ned handcuffs him to the turnbuckle.
Thad tries to swat at him, but Ned narrowly avoids it. Kaye grabs an unused chair and immediately charges toward Thad in the corner. At the last second, Thad gets a foot up and it connects with the chair, forcing it into Kaye’s face. Kaye then staggers backward then falls back first to the mat and the chair goes flying out of the ring.
The referee checks on Thad in the corner but Thad barks at him: GIMME THE FUCKIN KEY! to which, the referee reminds Thad that he can’t do that. Out of nowhere and without warning, Thad grabs a fistful of the referees shirt and sends his forehead into the bridge of the referees nose. Blood pours from the refs busted nasal cavity and Thad searches for the key in his pockets, finally retrieving it.
HHL: Thad just nailed the ref!
PIP: Ned was right! Thad’s an evil man!
Before going to work on unlocking the cuffs, he peeks over his shoulder at Ned Kaye who is willing himself back to his feet. Working feverishly, he uncuffs himself as Ned charges in toward him again. Just as Ned reaches Thad though, Duke pulls a light tube from the corner and smashes it across Ned’s face. Ned backpedals a few steps then falls back first on the mat.
Thad lets out a primal roar, igniting the crowd as he exits the corner, stalking Ned Kaye like prey. Thad closes the handcuffs over his fist and kneels down over Kaye with Ned between his legs. With his left hand, Thad grabs a hand full of hair and with his handcuff clad right fist, starts wailing away on Ned’s head and face, busting him open pretty good.
Satisfied with the bloodied and down but not out Ned Kaye, Thad gets back to his feet and tosses the handcuffs aside before heading toward the final opened pod. There’s a number of weapons inside. Most of them the blunt force and stabby type of weapons. For now though, Thad selects a pair of 12 inch hand tools: an ice pick and a sledge, and a sack containing thumbtacks and a number of forks. Dropping the ice pick for the moment, he maintains a hold of the small sledge and grabs Ned Kaye by his hand, lifting it from the mat.
PIP: What the hell is this sadistic son of a bitch gonna do!?
HHL: He’s playing by the rules of the game, Pip. If this were a standard match, he’d be using standard tactics. Besides, I didn’t hear you protesting earlier when Ned was on offense.
PIP: That was different!
HHL: Different how?
PIP: I like Ned!
Thad lifts Ned partially off the mat, then flips over on his own back, bringing Ned Kaye with him.
HHL: END GAME FROM THADDEUS DUKE!
PIP: C’MON NED! FIGHT IT OFF!
Thad locks in the Hell’s Gate submission on Ned Kaye, using the handle of the sledge for added pain and pressure across Ned’s neck. Ned struggles in the hold for several moments as the cheers from the crowd get louder and louder, trying to urge their hero to victory. Ned struggles and struggles and the bloody referee comes over to check on the bloodied Ned Kaye as the bloodied Thaddeus Duke keeps the submission locked in tight.
HHL: The champion is fading!
PIP: Come on Ned! Keep fighting!
Ned starts to fade as he’s locked in with nowhere to go. His free hand hits the mat and as luck would have it, the ice pick is within reach. Ned grabs the pick and lifts it into the air, chopping it down toward Thaddeus Duke’s head. Thad though moves his head and the pick stabs down into the mat. Still in the hold, Ned lifts the pick again and again stabs down hard toward Thad. Again though, Thad narrowly avoids catastrophe.
Feeling grave danger, Thad releases the End Game just as Ned slashes down again. This time, Thad blocks it with the handle of the sledge and the two are in a struggle for control. Still lying on his back with Ned on top of him, Thad peeks to his right at the sack containing the tacks and the forks. As Ned continues to try and force the pick toward Thad’s face, Thad quickly uses his right hand to reach into the sack and grab a fork, driving it into Ned’s forehead.
Ned yells out in anguish as he rolls off of Thad with the fork still buried in his skin. HE writhes in pain and kicks the mat repeatedly before pulling the fork from his head and tossing it. Thad meanwhile rolls back to his feet. Ned meanwhile, begins to get to his and Thad takes off like a bolt of lightning.
HHL: RUNNING WATERS!
PIP: NO!
Thad hits the Dolly Waters running enziguiri special on Ned and Ned appears to be out as he hooks the leg.
1!
2!
3!????????????????????????????????????
PIP: YES!
HHL: And the champion kicks out!
Thad slowly gets back to his feet and reaches down, grabbing a fistful of Ned’s hair. Duke begins to pull Ned to his feet, but out of nowhere, Ned sends an uppercut into his groin stopping Thad in his tracks. After the lowblow, Duke leans to the side a bit, then falls to his knees on the mat. Meanwhile, Ned gets back to his feet and starts to lift Thad back to his before backing off…
HHL: NEFARIOUS KNEE FROM NED KAYE!
Ned crawls over to cover Thad.
1!
2!
3!????????????????????????????????
HHL: Thad survives!
Ned is beside himself with frustration as he grabs the referee and uses him to aid himself to his feet. Ned slowly makes his way outside the ring as Thad starts to struggle to his feet.
PIP: Here it comes, Heather! Ned’s sizing him up for it!
In the ring, Thad makes it to his feet and searches for Ned. As he finds him Ned uses the top rope as a springboard in order to leap into the ring for…
PIP: EGO CRUSHER!
…
SMACK!
….
HHL: HEAT SEEKER!
PIP: AW SHIT!
Thad hits his chin music, catching Ned in the chin out of the air. Ned collapses to the mat and Thad collapses to his knees and barely hooks the leg.
1!
2!
3!??????????????????????????????????
3!
WINNER and NEW XWF Hart Champion:
Thaddeus Duke
The bell rings and the fans go nuts as the Hitman theme starts playing. The time keeper hands the title to the bloodied referee. Soon, Paul Heyman stands on the entrance way and lil Frankie runs down to the ring. Just as the referee hands the title to Thaddeus Duke, now standing, Frankie enters and jumps into Thad’s arms in celebration.
A moment later, Thad hoists Frankie onto his shoulder and raises the Hart championship in the air.
[center]
HHL: What the hell was that?
A fire explodes on the stage area post-match. Everybody’s eyes shoot to the stage.
HHL: Is this just another ‘technical difficulty’? What kind of cheap setup do we have here?
PC: I guess it’s kind of hard to get good quality maintenance men on the moon?
More staff and officials rush to the stage, and get to work extinguishing the flames.
PC: “Hurry up guys! We only have so much oxygen!
The fire dies down, and the show resumes as usual.
Tig Ol Bitties: “This next contest is scheduled for one fall, and it will be a no disqualifications match for the XWF Shooting Star Championship!”
HHL: “This is shaping up to potentially be one of the more emotionally driven matches of the night, Pip. In the weeks leading up to this, Atara Themis has stopped at nothing to let the Shooting Star Champion know that she’s coming for that title- and anything else she manages to snag along the way.”
Pip: “It’s been made abundantly clear that she’s already snagged James Raven, even if he isn’t ready to admit his part in these deliciously dirty deeds. Themis has implanted herself securely into Granger’s head; will the champ have the focus it takes to knock off a red-hot Atara?”
The honeyed rasp of Atara's voice blares over the facility's PA in unison with those words appearing on the multitude of screens and displays littering the arena.
HELLO DOVES
The crowd pops and gets to their feet shouting in near total unison a single word.
OPA!
Arena lights start to pulse in time with the music and multiple vertical streams of pyro erupt across the front of stage. Strutting with purpose, Atara emerges from the back taking spot centerstage atop the ramp. Posing for the camera, a wink and kiss is given to the viewers at home.
Grunge walking to the ring steps, she climbs and stops at the top to posture again for her adoring public. Hand on her hip, the Grecian moves to the middle of the apron to blows a final kiss to the camera and enters the ring through the middle rope.
Pip: Let's not forget that Atara is fresh off her battle with John Black! Who knows how this could affect her going into this important match for HER Shooting Star Championship?
HHL: Betsy may have something to say about the title belonging to Atara; but nevertheless, the champ should be making her appearance any moment now!
As the music comes to an end, the entire crowd seems to wait on baited breath. Atara herself seems relatively unconcerned, leaning against the ring ropes and checking her nails casually. Once her music stops, does she finally look towards the stage again, Aegean blue eyes hard-set.
The crowd explodes as Fame on Fire’s cover of “Blinding Lights” begins over the speakers; the fans are on their feet as the lights go out and a spotlight hits the stage. When the drummer hits his mark, Betsy Granger makes her appearance, the Shooting Star Title strapped securely to her waist. Her ring gear is light green in hue and scaled; on her head, she’s wearing a special headdress made to look like the snakes that made up Medusa’s hair. This causes Atara to smirk from the ring as she gives Betsy sarcastic applause for her efforts. Betsy only stares at Atara from the top of the stage as her music plays on.
“This city’s cold and empty
No one’s around to judge me
I can’t see clearly when you’re gone, gone, gone”
Just as the chorus hits, Betsy removes the Shooting Star belt from around her waist and lifts it high in the air over her head. Atara’s eyes follow it before meeting Betsy’s once more: blue eyes are locked on green as the two women say a million words without uttering a single syllable. Holding out a finger to point at Atara, Betsy leaves it in the air for a few moments before touching it to her throat and sliding it across. As she does this, she releases her hold on the title belt and allows it to crash to the ground at her feet. The clear sign of intent brings a smile to Atara’s face and she beckons for Betsy to join her in the ring. This is all the Impossible Traveler needs. Without further hesitation, she races to the ring and slides in, only to be met with stomps from the waiting Atara!
HHL: Perhaps that wasn’t the wisest course of action for the Shooting Star Champion, but this match is officially underway folks!
The bell rings, but neither of the women seems to have heard it. After several stomps, Granger manages to fight Atara off and the two are now locked in the middle of the ring. Both of them grunt as they lock hands and attempt to over-power one another. As Atara begins to gain an advantage, Betsy brings her boot up and kicks Atara square in the stomach. The Goddess’ grip loosens as she stumbles backwards, but Granger takes advantage and locks Themis’ arm behind her back. Wrenching the arm as much as she can, Granger smiles as Themis lets out a shriek, but It's wiped away quickly when Themis counters into her own hold. The two continue like this for a minute, much to the crowd's delight, before the women part and take a few steps back from one another. The crowd cheers loudly as they stare one another down intensely
Pip: The fans are living for the rivalry between these two powerhouse females! What a display of strength by two of the best the Shooting Star Division has to offer!
HHL: And this is only the beginning!
Granger charges forward again, managing to catch Themis off-guard. As they tumble over, Granger quickly plants herself squarely on Themis’ chest and begins delivering blow after blow down on Themis. As the Grecian screams and throws her arms up to deflect as many of the fists as possible, the referee begins to step in out of instinct. Granger turns raging green eyes towards him and he stops, remembering then the No DQ stipulation. Falling back, he watches as Granger continues to deliver blows before getting up and dragging Atara up with her by her hair.
HHL: Betsy Granger letting weeks of frustration and humiliation unleash on Atara here tonight!
Pip: She’s completely overreacting for someone who has staunchly claimed her man was innocent of wrong-doing.
HHL: Is she, Pip? She’s quietly endured weeks of accusations and watching James and Atara continue to interact playfully over social media, despite everything that’s been said. I’m surprised Atara hasn’t been bloodied up yet, to be honest.
Granger swings Themis into one of the corners of the ring and follows this up by slamming her full weight against Themis. As Granger skips away backward, Themis slumps in the corner, holding her lower back. Wasting no time, Granger charges again, driving her knee into Themis’ chest. As the wind is knocked clean out of Themis, Granger grabs her left arm and swings her outward once more. As Atara bounces off the ropes, Betsy has a boot waiting for her face. As Themis drops to the mat, Granger goes for a fast cover, clearly hoping to end things quickly.
1...
No! Themis quickly gets a shoulder up, her lips moving as she shoves Granger off of her. Whatever she whispered to the Impossible Traveler made her face twist with anger. Rolling away and getting quickly to her feet, Granger attempts to charge Themis once more, but Atara has rolled out of the ring, now holding her chest. Granger strolls to the ropes and starts taunting Atara, beckoning her back into the ring for the fight.
Pip: Granger taking an early advantage, hoping to get business done quickly. She better get a hold of herself before she loses the Shooting Star title as well as James Raven to her The Goddess!
HHL: Granger is definitely showing a more aggressive side of herself here tonight, which comes as no surprise to anyone. She knows what’s on the line and she knows what Atara is willing to do to get the job done.
Pip: Ah, but does Betsy have the stomach to do the things Atara would to get what she wants? I’m going with a hard no.
Atara shakes her head at Granger, staying out of the ring while nursing her back and chest. Growing impatient, Granger slides out of the ring and begins following Themis around. Aegean blue eyes widen as she stumbles away in an attempt to get away from Granger. Allowing her frustration to take over, Betsy speeds up her pace towards Themis and launches herself. Springing to life suddenly, Atara dodges away, no sign of pain or injury anywhere. Granger’s eyes are now wide as Themis smiles wickedly and uses Granger’s runaway momentum to send her crashing into the ring steps. There’s an “OOOOHHHHH” from the fans as Granger’s body connects to the cold metal with a hard SMACK. Granger falls into a heap over the top step gasping for air.
HHL: I reckon they caught the soundwaves off that connection from here to Pluto, Pip!
Pip: Raven damn sure won’t be choosing Granger over Atty after that, Heather!
Stalking Granger slowly, The Goddess glares at her former friend as malicious intentions light up her eyes, perfect lips curl into an ugly sneer as Atara growls slightly and bolts forward, kicking Granger hard into the stairs. Granger cries out in pain as she falls to the floor; Atty is quick to catch her by the hair and slams her head hard into the top step. Granger just manages to get her hands up for light protection, but her face still eats a decent amount of the metal. Grabbing her by the hair again, Themis shoves Granger back in the ring and follows in close behind, laying down a series of hard stomps up and down Granger’s prone figure. Falling back, she sits casually against the corner of the ring post and waits for Granger to get to her feet. Slow to do so, Themis waits patiently as Granger stumbles to shakes legs and turns slowly towards Themis. Coming at the Impossible Traveler as graceful as the Dove she adores, Themis hits Granger with JUDGMENT OF PARIS! Granger drops like a sack of potatoes, completely out of breath now and blinded by pain as Themis makes the cover.
1...
2...
NO! Granger manages to kick out just in time, even though doing so clearly causes her pain. Themis gets to her knees and smooths out her ponytail as she looks down disapprovingly at Betsy.
HHL: Betsy manages to kick out before the three count and Atara is none too pleased for it!
Pip: That should have put Granger away for sure! Come on Atty, show her why they call you The Goddess!
Themis gets to her feet, pulling Granger up with her by her long golden mane. Desperately, Betsy pops a quick jab into Atara’s ribs, pulling a gasp from the Grecian. She follows it with another, then another, eventually forcing Atara to let go of her. Shaking her hair out of her face, she quickly capitalizes on Atty’s momentary shock and lays a loud chop across Atty’s exposed cleavage. The crowd WOO’S loudly as Betsy graces Atara with several more, driving her back against the ropes. Atara aims a chop of her own out of desperation, but manages to connect briefly against Granger’s chest. Taking a step back, Granger dodges another wild swing from Atara, wincing in pain as she does. She doubles back further as she sneaks in a breather as Atara gets herself out of the ropes. Launching herself forward, Betsy lands a hard spear, knocking Atara clean on her back. She quickly lifts the leg up for a cover.
1...
2...
The crowd pops as Themis kicks out, causing Granger to roll away, favoring her head as she does so. Shaking off more cobwebs, Granger turns back towards Themis only to catch the Goddess sliding out of the ring and hauling ass towards the stage. Eyes narrowed, Betsy climbs out of the ring and begins to follow Atara. Turning to find Betsy on her heels, Atara speeds up and disappears through the curtains of the stage. Betsy pauses as Atara disappears; suspicion written clearly on her face.
HHL: Betsy must be considering just what... or WHO... could be waiting for her behind that curtain. BoB grows every day; one would need eyes all over to keep track of them all.
Pip: Don’t be a coward, Betsy! Just go back there and fight for your title and your man!
Betsy makes her way backstage carefully, camera trailing close behind, but Atara is nowhere to be found. The only faces she sees right away are several EMT’s on the scene and ready to go, as well as several staff and crew involved with XWF and Tesla alike. Warily, Betsy creeps forward, attempting to look everywhere at once for Atara, her heart racing as she searches. A cry to her left gives her only a moment's notice before Atara leaps from behind a closet of spacesuits and returns Betsy’s spear with one of her own. As the women crash to the ground, Atara begins to pay Betsy back for the early attack. Striking the Impossible Traveler with blow after blow, Themis stops after several moments and grabbing her by the hair, proceeds to slam Betsy’s head repeatedly into the ground. The sound of Granger’s head bouncing off the hard floors brings a savage pleasure to Atara and she slams Granger’s head down once more with a sickening crunch.
Getting to her feet, Atara looks around for a weapon to use on Granger. While she’s distracted, Betsy crawls over to the Kraft catering table and hides beneath it, panting for breath and nursing her spinning head. When Themis turns around, a two by four in her hand, her eyes narrow as she looks around for Betsy.
“Come out, come out, wherever you are Dove, come get a taste of this wood.”
Looking around, Betsy desperately searches for something to catch Atara off guard with. As the Goddess gets closer, Betsy eyes a random Nerf Gun lying on the ground nearby. Sliding across the floor as quietly as she can on her behind, Betsy manages to get her fingers on the toy and pulls it carefully towards her. Closing her eyes, she waits until she hears Atara’s footsteps beside the desk, and then she strikes! Popping up from behind the desk, Betsy begins firing the rounds towards Atara, watching bright orange rubber bullets bounce off her opponent. Atara shrieks, jumping backward and swinging the two by four blindly in her surprise. Ducking underneath it, Betsy drops the Nerf gun and charges Atara. Picking her up, Betsy hits Atara with three vertical suplexes in a row before dropping her on her face with a swinging DDT.
HHL: Now would be the time for Granger to make the cover, but the match seems to have left the ring for now, Pip! Perhaps this was exactly as Themis wanted?
Pip: If Atara had a plan, I dare say it’s starting to backfire about now. Betsy is very much in control and that’s not looking to change any time soon!
Going for the pin, Granger counts to three and realizes that no one is there counting with her. Dropping Themis’ leg unceremoniously back to the ground, Betsy looks around and realizes that no one would be coming. Frustration builds as Atara begins to stir; refusing to lose her advantage, Betsy stomps on Atara a few times while thinking of a way to get her back to the ring. In an act of self-preservation, Atara manages to roll away from Granger and gets to her feet once more. Turning right back to Granger, the women begin to go move for move with no finesse; slaps, punches, and hair pulling are all either one can manage for several moments as one attempts to take advantage over the other. As this happens, they’ve managed to carry their fight deeper into the space station.
Managing to grab on to Betsy’s arm, Atara swings her outward, having no care of where Betsy may land. Granger crashes hard into a wall and the building seems to sway around them as she does. Charging forward, Atara attempts another knee to the face of Granger, but Granger manages to roll out of the way in time. Themis’ knee connects hard with the metal panels and she screams out in pain as she hops away from Granger to nurse her knee. Rushing forward, Granger manages to hit Atara with a running bulldog that sends Atara face first into the ground. Crawling over to her, Betsy rolls Atara over and grabbing the silky dark hair, begins slamming Atara’s head into the ground.
HHL: These girls just keep going tit for tat; all month, both have been claiming that anything one can do, the other can do better. That couldn’t be any more evident that it has been during this match.
Pip: That’s what happens when one is a trail-blazer and trend-setter like Atara Themis. Basic chicks like Betsy Granger always want to follow suit.
HHL: I have a feeling the champ might take exception to that comment.
Getting her revenge for the moment, Betsy continues to bounce Atara’s head off of the ground. Once she’s bored of the act, she gets to her feet, dragging Atara with her and sitting her down on a chair that had been left abandoned by its occupant when their fighting had reached the area. Having propped Themis up just the way she wanted, Betsy takes a few steps back and calculates her next move. Her moment decided, Granger springs forward, ready to make Themis eat her boot once more. Unfortunately for her, Themis has had just enough time to recover and slides down to the floor from the chair in time for Granger to get her foot tangled up. Laughing out loud as Granger struggles to free herself, Themis rushes towards her and drops an elbow down on the back of the chair, causing it to squeeze at Granger’s ankle painfully. Betsy howls in pain as she drops to the floor, kicking desperately at Atara, who has already rolling away, cackling gleefully.
HHL: Positively diabolical of Themis to use the chair to crush Granger’s ankle!
Pip: Positively genius, you mean! This is the kind of thing I was talking about at the top of the match; is Betsy willing to do these things to get the job done? Especially with the no DQ setting put in place?
Kicking at the chair, Granger manages to free her foot of it after several tries. Themis, perched in front of her as though ready to pounce at any moment, watches her, her blue orbs lit up with savage pleasure. As Betsy starts to get to her knees, Atara moves in and traps and twists her foot in a vicious ankle lock. Granger screams out as she flails against Atara’s grip. In a great effort, her eyes tearing up with the pain, Betsy manages to roll far enough off her back to kick Atara with her free foot. Themis stumbles but doesn’t let go completely; desperately, Granger kicks again harder and this time her effort pays off. Themis stumbles away, nearly falling into Theo Pryce, who happened to be sitting nearby, sipping causally at his tea.
HHL: And there’s Theo Pryce, who’s been making some bold moves of his own recently! I wonder what his thoughts on the current state of the Shooting Star Division are?
Pip: I don’t know what his thoughts about that might be, but I know he must be enjoying having the best view in the place right now!
As Themis recovers from her stumble, Granger gets unsteadily to her feet. She puts her weight gingerly on her damaged ankle and winces as sharp pains fire up her leg. She has no time to think about it however as Themis has recovered fully and is already turning back around. Theo continues to watch them as the women collide again, slamming each other into walls and bouncing heads off of anything with a solid surface. An amused smile touches his lips as he watches the spectacle in silence, considering carefully what’s happening before him. After several minutes of vicious attacks on one another, the women spark the same idea at once and collide painfully into one another with a double clothesline. As they both fall back, the referee has joined them per Theo’s request. Staring down at both of them in amusement, Theo looks to the referee.
Theo Pryce: In lieu of what I just witnessed; I have decided that this match will also be contested under Falls Count Anywhere rules. Have fun, ladies.
There’s a huge cheer from the crowd over the news as Atara and Betsy both attempt to comprehend what just happened. Theo sits back down in his chair and continues to sip his tea as he enjoys the show.
HHL: Talk about a last-minute game changer! Now this match can take place anywhere in the place with a decisive victory!
Pip: I don’t know about you, Heather, but I just got way more pumped than I already was!
Betsy and Atara stare at one another for a few moments, unsure of how to proceed. Suddenly, a crew member rushes in, holding out a prop lightsaber from Star Wars to each of them. Now they exchange an amused glance despite themselves as they roll their respect sabers in their hands. Betsy attempts to activate hers with no luck; smirking, Atara follows Betsy’s lead only to find her own won’t activate. Betsy lets out a triumphant HA before both women start smacking the lightsabers against their palms. Atara throws her arm outward in an attempt to force the blade to ignite while Betsy fiddles with the on button with no success. Shaking her head in vexation, Atara finally gives up and chucks her lightsaber straight at Betsy’s head. It bounces off the Impossible One’s skull, earning Atara a healthy glare. Granger hurls her own lightsaber towards Atara, who was too busy laughing to dodge and she gets smacked in the cheek with the other. Atara stops laughing immediately and glowers over at Granger.
Betsy charges again, all laughing and joking pushed completely to the side now. Themis responds in kind by meeting Betsy’s charge halfway, sending them both crashing to the floor. Now they roll around, each trying to gain advantage over the other, blindly swinging and grabbing at anything they can. Atara finally manages to rake Betsy across the eyes with perfectly manicured nails, earning a painful squeal and causing Betsy to roll away as she grabs at her eyes helplessly. Atara gets quickly to her feet and scoops Betsy up to her own before planting her back to the ground with a back body drop. Getting Granger to her feet again, Atara now throws her down with a series of German Suplexes. She ends the assault by forcing Betsy to eat the floor with a nasty reverse STO. Themis goes for the cover.
1...
2...
Thr- NOOOOOOO
The crowd loses it when Betsy is able to pop her shoulder up at the last minute. Themis looks highly agitated and holds up three fingers to the referee, who responds by holding up two and waving his arms.
Pip: That was obviously a slow count by the referee, we should have a new Shooting Star Champion right now!
HHL: That was a solid two count, thanks to Betsy Granger’s determination to stay in this thing. The Impossible Traveler refuses to stay down!
Betsy breathes heavily, now staring up at the ceiling of the space station and attempting to collect herself. From the corner of her eyes, she can see Atara rummaging around the bins and lockers for another adequate weapon. Rolling over and getting to her hands and knees, Granger looks around for something of her own, but all she spots is a large, thick metal piping. It’s within fingertips reach, so she slowly starts reaching for it as Atara continues her search. Managing to get it to her quietly, she tucks it carefully into her chest, hoping to hide it from Atara’s view until necessary. Atara turns now, a smile spreading across her face, for she had found her own metal rod, ignorant to the fact that Betsy had one of her own hidden away. The Goddess begins to stalk the Impossible Traveler playfully, waving the pipe back and forth in the air while taunting her the entire way over. Betsy doesn’t play into this, waiting for her moment; the wait isn’t very long at all, as it turns out. Just as the tips of Atty’s boots come into view, Betsy watches as her shadow swings something upward over her head. Grabbing her piece of metal piping, she holds it up over her head with both hands and winces as the impact of Atty’s blow causes her hands to vibrate wildly; the vibration makes it all the way up her arm, causing her shoulders to quiver.
Baring her teeth and snarling, Atara attempts once again to come down on Granger’s head with the thick metal piping, but Granger has gotten to her feet and is now fighting back properly. Throwing away her piece of piping, Granger waits carefully, observing Atara’s movements. Finally calculating a rhythm, Betsy dodges the next charge with the pipe and using the momentum of her spin, kicks Atara’s pipe clean out of her hands. Now the two are back on an even keel and staring each other down once again. A large bump is already showing on the back of Granger's head and her lower lip was busted in the corner. Atara had eaten a fist to the eye at some point and her cheek was bruised where the lightsaber had hit; both women were clearly showing signs of exhaustion and damage below the neck as well. Granger was still walking gingerly on her ankle, though trying to do so in a way that wouldn’t give away its aggravated state. Atara feels it in her ribs, though she’s better at hiding it than Granger is at the moment.
Pip: Say what you will about either of these women, Heather, but we truly are witnessing something special here tonight.
HHL: I couldn’t have said it any better myself, Pip old boy! The Shooting Star Division has been on a meteoric rise over the last several months, and both of these women have played a pivotal part in making that happen.
Cartwheeling forward, Betsy attempts a series of spinning heel kicks, but Atara manages to evade each of them. Showing off the athleticism and flexibility she’s known for, Betsy quickly springs into a clean back flip and slams her entire body against Atara’s. This sends The Goddess flying backwards, over a table set up with water jugs and cups with the Tesla logo emblazoned upon them. Grabbing up a stack of the cups, Betsy begins throwing them as hard as she can at Themis, who crawls away screaming as the cups begin to rain down on her endlessly. Losing herself, Betsy begins screaming at Atara in perfect Greek as she continues to grab cup after cup and throws them at the defenseless Atara. Finally, Granger abandons this pursuit and catches Atara up in her arms and drops her back down with a scoop slam. As Atara lies prone, Betsy skips backward a few steps then comes forward again, crushing Atara’s body against the ground with a sick rolling thunder! She quickly goes for the cover, grabbing up Atara’s leg.
1...
2...
NOOOO!!
Another loud pop from the fans watching online as Atara kicks out so aggressively, Granger is bucked violently off of her. Betsy rolls away and jumps quickly to her feet, giving Atara no other time to recover. Grabbing Atara’s arm, she forces the Goddess to her feet by nearly yanking her arm out of its socket and throwing her face first into a wall. The wall shudders against the impact of Atty’s collision and as she bounces off, Betsy grabs her neck and traps her in a swinging DDT. Atara is planted to the floor and Granger once again goes for the pin.
1...
2...
Thre- NOOOO!!!
Once again, Themis manages to kick out at the last possible moment, causing Granger to grab at her hair in disbelief. Jumping back to her feet, she prepares to set Atara up once again, this time for a rather familiar move.
Pip: Granger is setting Atara up for Galactic Advantage! This may be over soon, Heather!
HHL: Atara in a dangerous spot here, Pip! Everything she’s worked for the last month is about to go up in flames!
As the commentators pop off, Betsy sets up and flawlessly executes Galactic Advantage! Ready to end the fight, Granger then positions Atara up just right and bending over backward, traps the woman known as Aphrodite Incarnate in Tuez Les Etoiles! Atara screams bloody murder as Granger locks her face in mercilessly and uses her weight to bounces up and down on Atara’s ankles. The referee is down before her beet-red face, asking if she was ready to give in yet, but Atara squeezes her eyes shut and tries to fight the pain. Locking the hold in tighter still, Betsy screams at Atara in Greek again, encouraging her to just tap and end this now. Themis refuses, scratching at the ground desperately as though to distract herself from the pain. Her hand begins to rise in the air, hovering above the ground as she feels her options beginning to dwindle down to pure self-preservation.
Just as all hope seemed lost for Themis, another female figure of perfection comes flying into the scene and doesn’t hesitate to slam a ferocious boot into the back of Granger’s head. There’s loud booing from the fans as the camera focuses on Osira Themis, who was now hovering above her sister and getting Atara back into a sitting position. Atara winces in pain as she rubs her jaw, glaring over to where Betsy was now sitting up and rubbing the back of her head once again.
HHL: I knew it was only a matter of time before a member of BoB came out to stack the odds against Granger; I should have known it would be in the form of the other Themis sister.
Pip: Hey, Osira only came out here to make the save on her sister, I’m sure she won’t have much more involvement beyond this.
HHL: Seriously? Were you born yesterday or do you just refuse to see how much evil lives inside this pair of sisters?
Pip: One woman’s villain is another man’s dream come true, Heather.
HHL: That doesn’t even make sense!
Atara gets unsteadily to her feet, feeling the effects of the Tuez Les Etoiles already. Granger has also gotten to her feet and now stands in a defensive position, her eyes darting between the two sisters before her. Knowing her challenge just became greater, she smiles their way and motions for them both to come at her. The sisters smile, accepting the brazen challenge and piling on her at once. Betsy swings, putting up a good fight at first, gaining back her confidence in the fight. She lands a successful throat chop to Osira that sends her coughing and sputtering away in the opposite direction and turns in time to deflect a clothesline from Atara and uses uncontrolled momentum to send Atara crashing in Osira. The crowd cheers as the sisters tumble into a tangled mess on the ground as Granger bounces around, getting fired up once again.
Osira recovers and comes charging Granger once again, but Betsy is able to hop-dodge the assault and takes Osira’s legs out from under her with a clean sweep of her foot. Atara is now back to her feet and rushes at Granger, but The Impossible Traveler is ready for her; as Atara approaches, Betsy crouches and scoops her up, using Atara’s rushing momentum to send her crashing to the floor in a belly-to-belly suplex she never saw coming. Before Atara could even catch her breath, Grange was rolling her up in a schoolboy pin.
1...
2...
Thre- NO!
Osira comes in with the last minute save, dragging Betsy off of Atara and tossing her away. She follows the Impossible Traveler and begins to curb stomp her while she’s down. Betsy crawls away desperately, trying to grab at Osira’s foot to stop the stomps from coming. Atara is up now and she joins Osira in the curb stomp down on Granger, who is now huddled in fetal position and covering her face from the worst of the stomps. The sisters exchange a glance and without a word passing out loud, they scoop her up and set her up for a Crucifix Powerbomb that sends Granger crashing down to the mat. Atara doesn’t bother going for the cover this time, as something has seemingly taken a hold of her and bloodlust has taken a hold of her every sense. Osira, smelling blood in the water, gives a toothy smile and happily assists her sister.
HHL: This is just wrong, Pip. Atara proves that perhaps she isn’t the champion she brags to be, seeing as she can’t even get through this match without an assist from her sister.
Pip: Come on now, Heather, Osira clearly came in and volunteered her help to Atara. It’s obvious nothing about this was planned out by them.
HHL: You’re a f*cking moron sometimes, you know that Pip?
Atara and Osira continue to beat down on Granger, forcing her backward deeper and deeper into the space station. They are getting dangerously close to the airlock doors now; a look of pure evil spreads across the face of Osira as an idea crosses her mind. Nudging Atara, she gestures towards the airlock, then points down at the bleeding Granger. Atara catches on quickly and returns the evil smile, nodding her head and hoisting Granger over her shoulder. Osira does the same on the other side and they walk the limp form of the Impossible Traveler to the airlock. Atara mashes down on the button and the doors slide open with a hiss of steam. Betsy, realizing what’s about to happen, begins to struggle, but she is quickly subdued and shoved inside. Atara quickly gets the door shut and runs her hands over the buttons, having no idea of what they do. A red button lights up as an alarm sounds, warning that the doors had been locked from the outside and the outer door would open in three minutes' time. The Aegean eyes of the Themis sisters light up in pleasure as Betsy looks out through the square glass panel in the door, genuine terror written all over her face.
Pip: Betsy Granger might be an Impossible Traveler, but even she can’t stop her head from exploding in deep space!
HHL: This is absolutely sick, Pip. How can Vinnie Lane and Theo Pryce just sit around and allow two of their stars to attempt murder on another, live on pay-per-view? This isn’t right!
Pip: The Impossible Traveler is going to need an Impossible Miracle to save her bacon now!
Betsy bangs loudly on the door and screams from inside, though it’s all in vain as the room is soundproof. Atara and Osira laugh together as Betsy looks out at them desperately, green eyes wide with horror and disbelief. As the time continues to countdown (2:26), Granger’s actions grow weaker as the air is slowly released from within. Looking desperately around, Granger eyes the opposite door, the only barrier between her and the surface of the moon she loved so much. Grief fills her as the seconds pass and she remains trapped, no one coming to save her this time. Sliding down to the floor from against the wall, Granger hides her face and prepares to meet her fate.
As they gloat, Osira and Atara are taken off-guard when two figures come darting from the shadows. Bursting into the picture from seemingly nowhere comes Dolly Waters! There’s a pop from the virtual fans as Dolly approaches the Themis sisters, questioning what they were doing. Atara shrugs casually, shooing Dolly off and telling her to mind her own business. Osira giggles and stands guard of the door, making sure that Dolly couldn’t get past her to free Betsy. (1:54) Realizing that neither Atara nor Osira had any intentions of freeing Granger, Dolly springs to action. Landing a standing dropkick on Atara, she kips-up to her feet again and charges at Osira, who yelps and dodges out of the way.
HHL: Of all the people to come to the rescue, Dolly Waters answers the call! Not the hero I was expecting, but exactly the one we needed at the moment, wouldn’t you say so, Pip?
Pip: Personally, I think Dolly needs to keep her nose out of this one; it doesn’t concern her at all. Why should she care what happens to Granger?
HHL: Oh, I don’t know Pip, maybe Dolly feels as many others must feel, that Betsy doesn’t deserve to be sucked out into deep space at the hands of two psychopaths.
Dolly fights valiantly, but she is soon overtaken by the numbers game once Atara recovers. Warning her once again to mind her own business, Atara whips her hair back and turns to be met by Bobby Bourbon, who was watching everything while nibbling on a loaded chili dog.
Pip: Things just keep looking worse and worse for Granger right now! The last thing she needed was more BoB members to flesh out the numbers.
HHL: Someone must be able to do something, this is f*cking insane!
Atara and Osira are practically purring as Bourbon approaches, setting his chili dog down carefully on a nearby bench. He walks over to the airlock and looks in at Betsy, who is still hunched over in a corner, her face hidden in her knees. He looks back over at Atara and Osira, who are grinning from ear to ear as they hold Dolly in between them to keep her from attempting another rescue. (:43) Shaking his head in confusion, he points towards Betsy in the airlock and asks why they would do this to her. The sisters exchange a confused glance now, wondering why Bourbon would question their methods. Turning towards the airlock again, Bourbon begins pressing buttons in an attempt to open the chamber. Atara approaches him and roughly pulls him away by his shoulder, hissing now at his behavior. Osira flanks his other side, Dolly left forgotten now, as both sisters begin to question his loyalties to BoB.
As the three argue heatedly, another figure comes flying from the shadows and collides hard into all three members of BoB, sending them hard into the door of the airlock. There’s another pop from the virtual fans as Alias comes into the picture, wasting no time making work of Atara, Osira, and Bourbon. Recovered now, Dolly gets to her feet and joins back into the fray, which is quickly devolving into chaos. Suddenly, a loud beeping and the sound of metal grinding against metal threatens to deafen them all. Red lights begin to strobe all around them as the warning sign to the airlock begins to flash.
HHL: Oh god, it’s too late... The airlock is opening and Betsy Granger is still inside!
Everyone stops suddenly as the blaring alarm and flashing lights make for a sufficient distraction. Gasping in unison, Alias and Dolly scramble over to the door, looking out in time to see Granger pressing herself against the furthest wall from the door. Looking around, she finds the sturdiest metal rods to hang onto and takes a deep breath as the door opens and the moon is exposed to her fully. One wrong step, and she would be floating off into space without a prayer. She could feel the eyes of Dolly and Alias on her and she wished she could chance turning around to meet their eyes. It shouldn’t be too long now...
… And there it was, a sound so reliable that she could have wept. Looking up, she smiles as Excellence materializes before her. As the ship's gravity field locks in on her and she floats towards the doors, she misses the looks of relief that pass over the faces of Dolly and Alias. The doors swing shut behind her as she gasps for air.
Inside the base, Atara and Osira realize that Granger has managed to save herself and scream loudly with rage. They turn towards Alias and Dolly, accusation hot in their twin eyes.
Pip: Are you quite happy now, Heather? Another beautifully wicked plan ruined by a bunch of goody-two-shoed do-gooders.
HHL: Yeah, it’s such a shame we couldn’t witness a young woman suffocate to death on live television.
Osira turns back to Bourbon in time to catch him heaving a sigh of relief as he goes back to his chili dog. She shrieks after him as he walks away, his job completed for the moment. Alias and Dolly glance at one another in confusion, but they don’t have long to contemplate what they just saw. Wind picks up from inside the space station as the familiar sound of a TARDIS engine fills the room. As Excellence materializes once more, Atara’s lips curve into a ferocious snarl. Popping out from Excellence, Granger looks around, fury written clear in her eyes; it doesn’t take her long to lock them on Atara. With a war cry that would make Xena herself jealous, Betsy bolts from the doors and launches herself carelessly at Atara. She ignores Osira’s grabs at her as she bursts forward, wanting nothing more than to finish Atara off once and for all.
Pip: Say what you will about her methods, Atara has certainly lit a fire under Betsy’s ass.
HHL: How about I lock you inside the airlock and schedule the door to open and you tell me how you’re feeling after, Pip.
Osira once again tries to interfere, but Alias and Dolly are quick to subdue her. Atara, dodging Betsy’s wild swings, looks around for her sister and realizes quickly that she’s on her own once again. Considering her options, Atara turns around and begins to rush away from Betsy, all the way across the moon base. Granger narrows her eyes and chases after her, rage flowing through her and dictating her actions. Atara turns her head back every now and then, trying to keep the grin off her face as she keeps up the chase. Reaching the gorilla position, she stops and looks around one last time. Osira was still busy with Dolly and Alias and Betsy was catching up quickly. Thinking fast, Atara rushes through the curtains and without another thought, begins to climb the scaffolding that held up the XtremeTron. Granger skids to a halt just outside of the curtains, looking around confused for a moment before looking upward. Spying Atara quickly scaling the metal rods, Betsy wastes no time in following.
HHL: I’ve got a bad feeling about this, Pip. I don’t see any way this can end well for either of them.
Pip: I don’t know which was more foolish, Atara to begin the climb or Betsy for following so willingly?
The two rivals make their way up opposite sides of the scaffold. Atara, having the head start, reaches the top first and attempts to walk her way over to Granger before she could scale the Tron completely. Granger makes it to the top with ease, however, and quickly finds her equilibrium as she turns to face Atty. They begin to exchange blows on the top of the tron, both wobbling dangerously with every move they make. The tron screen wavers dangerously beneath them as they continue to beat the living hell out of one another. Managing a kick to her gut by hanging on to rods higher up, Betsy propels herself to the higher ground as Atara attempts to recover.
Betsy waits for Atara to get to her feet and face her. She kicks out, hoping to kick Atara clean off the scaffolding and to the stage below, but Atara catches her feet! Pushing the away, Atara locks her up, setting her up with ease for From a Dove! Their eyes lock for a moment as Granger silently challenges Atara to do the move that would send them both crashing down to the unforgiving metal below. With a malicious smile, Atara performs the move, letting go of Betsy; hooking her knees into a groove, she grabs onto an available piece of scaffold as she watches the body of the Impossible Traveler fall to the ground. Granger’s body hits the top of the stage with a resounding thud.
Pip: Oh my god, I think Atara Themis just killed Betsy Granger! Did you hear the way Granger’s body hit that metal? Yikes!
HHL: It can’t end like this, not like this! Come on Betsy, get up, please be okay!
Atara stands atop the scaffold, looking down at the unmoving Granger for several moments. All the fans watching through their computers are now booing loudly, but Atara soaks them in. Taking her time, she shimmies down the scaffold and slowly makes her way over to Betsy, who is still unmoving. Using her toe to roll the Impossible Traveler onto her back, she leans into the other’s face and slaps the taste right out of her mouth. Betsy’s eyes fly open as pain causes her to gasp inaudibly, her mouth a perfect O. Using the tip of her foot to roll Granger once more, she pauses for only a moment before she drops down, locking in the Tuez Les Etoiles! Betsy screams in pain as Atara bridges backward and locks her face into the hold, locking it in completely.
HHL: Talk about adding insult to injury, now Atara is using Betsy’s own finisher against her!
Pip: It’s not looking too good for the Shooting Star Champion, Heather!
Themis continues to keep the submission locked in, taking vindictive pleasure in Granger’s screams of pain. She could feel the life being sapped from Granger, which only encouraged her to lock in the move further. Despite all of her resolve, Betsy could feel her body stretching to the breaking point; on top of the pain caused by the fall and everything else that had preceded this point, she knew there was only one option.
Lifting her hand in the air, Betsy begins to tap out furiously.
The referee calls for the bell quickly, hoping that it would get Atara off of Granger, but it’s to no avail. Even as “Venus” begins to blare over the speakers, Atara refuses to let Granger out of the hold. From behind the curtains, Alias and Dolly reappear, now forcing Atara off of Granger. They both stand in front of Betsy’s prone figure protectively, challenging Atara to take them both on. Rolling her eyes, Atara holds out her hand and the weight of the Shooting Star Championship soon fills it. Holding it before her, she takes in the redesigns that she herself had helped Betsy make to the belt before holding it high in the air over her head.
Winner and NEW XWF Shooting Star Champion - Atara Themis
HHL: Through some rather dirty tactics and after an absolutely vicious bout, Atara Themis walks out of Leap of Faith the Shooting Star Champion!
Pip: Was there ever any doubt that multi-champion Atara would keep her word? Now all that’s left to do tonight is celebrate properly with James Raven in the only way they know how!
As Atara gloats off to the side, Betsy sits up slowly, holding on to her head as she does. Dolly leans over her and puts a hand on her shoulder while Alias crouches protectively before her. Betsy and Atara lock eyes, neither of them saying a word, ignoring everything else around them. Suddenly, Betsy tips her head back and bursts into wild laughter. Seemingly unable to help it, she attempts to get to her feet and falls right over, though she is caught quickly by Alias and Dolly. Each of them throws one of her arms over their shoulders as she continues to cackle loudly, the laughter peeling unbidden from her lips. Atara watches in confusion as the three of them make their way past her, leaving her alone to celebrate her victory as the camera fades out.
RINGSIDE!
A bright flash sparks in the ring!
PIP: “What the!?”
HHL: “IS THAT MICHEAL GRAVES!?”
Gravers stands in the ring, in his original body and full skeletor garb! A microphone magically appears in his hand because POTATO!
”HEY CUCKS, I’M BACK! AND NOT NO BULLSHIT GILLY GRAVES! I’M MICHEAL GRAVES! THE DARK WARRIOR! THE MOST MAGICALLY DELICIOUS WRESTLER TO EVER STEP FOOT IN THE XWF!”
PIP: “How is this even possible!? The last time we saw Graves he was wearing a Peter Gilmour fat suit!”
HHL: “Pip, look! He has another Golden Potato on a stick!”
PIP: “Well… that’s just great! At least he isn’t shoving it up his ass this time!”
”TONIGHT! I’M GOING TO MAKE HISTORY! TONIGHT! I’M GOING TO INVADE THE LEAP OF FAITH MATCH! AND _I’M_ FLOATING OUTTA THIS BITCH WITH THE UNIVERSAL TITLE SHOT!”
PIP: “It should be noted that a Universal Title shot is not on the line in tonight’s match-up.”
HHL: “That’s debatable PIP. The winner will receive a 24/7 briefcase that pretty much guarantees a Universal Title run, should they use it to cash in for that belt!”
”THAT’S RIGHT LANE! YOU DON’T HAVE TO BOOK ME! I DO WHAT I WANT! AND WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON THAT CASE, YOU’LL HAVE NO OTHER OPTION BUT TO GIVE ME MY FUCKING JOB BACK!”
PIP: “Heather, if he has a new Golden Potato, couldn’t he just use the potatoes power to place himself back on the XWF roster and leave us all none the wiser?”
HHL: “That’s too simple for Graves. His plans are ALWAYS over complicated and destined for failure!”
Suddenly various officials and backstage staff come out from the back and try to talk Graves out of the ring. He isn’t having it though!
PIP: “Goodluck getting him to do anything he doesn’t want to do!”
One of the men lays hands on Graves and grabs his wrist. Graves snaps back and looks at the motherfucker like, “oh you mother fucker”! Suddenly Graves starts throwing rights, knocking these dudes down one by one! Chad Bobo, who’s out here for who knows why, actually grabs Graves from behind and tries to restrain him, but Graves easily breaks free and swings on that fucker with his potato on a stick, knocking him to the mat! Graves then jumps on top of him and begins choking Chaz with his sticky potato and trying to shove his free hand up Chaz’s ass for some reason.
”AH HAHAHAHA NOBODY CAN STOP ME!”
PC: “Are Lane and Pryce not watching from the back?! Someone needs to put a stop to this!”
HHL: “Well hopefully there’s some type of delay in the satellite transmission from the Moon. This is a family show for crying out loud!”
The fans slowly begin to roar as a camera pans to the top of the stadium.
A bloodied Dolly Waters appears from the fan entrance
PC: “ASK AND YE’ SHALL RECEIVE! IT’S DOLLY WATERS!”
HHL: “You’ve got that right! I DOUBT GRAVES WAS EXPECTING THIS!!!”
”Nobody?”
She says into a mic from behind her bleeding mouth as she starts down the steps towards the ring, like the badass little bitch that she is
”Michael, I think you and I BOTH know that if there’s one person in the XWF who knows exactly how to handle you… it’s good ol’ Huckledolly Waters!”
PC: “Dolly Waters and Michael Graves! A rivalry dating back nearly four years!”
Micheal licks his lips as he climbs off top of Chaz Bobo and welcomes Dolly to come to the ring, waving her in with his stick potato weapon thingy.
”See if there’s one person in the XWF who understands what makes you tick, it’s me Michael. I know there’s only one thing you truly want in this world…”
She steps through the ropes, and into the ring. Michael wide-eyed with a feral drop of saliva dangling from his mouth as he swings his potato stick playfully like a batter warming up to the plate.
”I’m going to set you free.”
”LET’S DO THIS!”
Graves charges at Dolly swinging the Golden Potato with a deranged smile, she ducks underneath and Graves stumbles toward the corner of the ring but with the stick swinging backwards in his arm.
Dolly turns around and yanks the stick from his hand, smashing it into the crown of his head as he turns to face her! A BRIGHT FLASH! A sound like gunfire echoes through the arena and both Graves and Dolly lay on the mat motionless as the officials from earlier rush the ring to attend to them both.
PIP: “Holy smokes! I don’t know what just happened! There was a bright flash and an echoing boom, now both Micheal Graves and Dolly Waters are out cold!”
HHL: “I couldn’t see a thing, PIP! But these two seem to be totally out of commission! We may need the stretchers brought out!”
PIP: "Fans, we'll be sure to keep you updated on the status of these two just as soon as we know more!"
The lights suddenly go out, bathing the arena in darkness. 'Zero Signal' by Fear Factor hits the loudspeakers as the lights come back up slightly. turning red. A thick fog fills the entrance area as purple strobes begin to flicker around it. Lycana skips through the fog, stopping to look out over the crowd with a smirk. A large outline appears behind her in the smoke, Marf slowly emerging to stand at Lycana's side. They both pose for a brief instant, as pyros shoot off around them. They look at each other and nod, walking down the ramp in unison.
PC: "And here come the #1 Contenders to the Tag Team Titles, the Dissentients!"
HHL: "Marf & Lycana won a Tag Team Turmoil Match, last eliminating Steven Cooper and Eobard Stone, to earn that right."
Lycana hops up onto the ring apron, with Marf stepping up next to her. He holds the ropes open for her to step through, following closely behind. They run to opposite turnbuckles and jump on them. Lycana sneers at the crowd, while Marf flips them off. The lights come back to normal as The Dissentients leap down from the turnbuckles, Lycana moving to stand by Marf's side as he cracks his knuckles.
PC: "These two beat some of the best Tag Teams XWF has to offer, but now they've got to beat the best in TK and Bobby Bourbon."
HHL: "Luckily for them, all they have to do is put ONE of their opponents through a glass table and we'll have new Tag Team Champions."
PC: "Easier said than done, though, especially against two athletes the caliber of Them No Good Bastards, who've been on a roll ever since joining forces!"
The entirely epic XTron video of TNGB takes over the arena as the lights dim. A spotlight highlights the ramp, and Thunder Knuckles walks out onto the entrance ramp, hyped and ready to fight, pointing out into the crowd. Behind him, Bobby Bourbon deliberately walks out and stops, also pointing out into the crowd. Both men glance at each other and clink their Tag Team Championships together, then in unison point into the ring. The crowd sings along with the song.
ASSHOLE, DIRTBAG, NO GOOD BASTARDS!
TK slides into the ring and gets up onto a knee, beckoning the crowd as Bobby climbs the steps and enters the ring behind him. TK stands and appeals to the crowd as Bobby raises his arms at 45-degree angles.
PC: "These two are the gold standard when it comes to Tag Teams. They may be 'No Good Bastards,' but their in-ring work says otherwise."
HHL: "It's certainly hard to argue with the results, that's for sure."
The referee approaches the Champions, who prepare to hand over their belts. Before they can do so, Marf & Lycana hurry over and attack them before the bell has sounded. T.N.G.B. drop their Titles, which the ref quickly picks up, runs over to the time keeper, and calls for the bell.
PC: "Looks like The Dissentients didn't wanna wait another second to get their hands on the Champs!"
HHL: "A bold, if not questionable, strategy."
Marf hammers away at Bobby Bourbon in one corner, while Lycana does the same in another. Bourbon puts a hand out and shoves Marf down to the mat before heading over to his partner and pulling Lycana off him. She responds by hitting a Low Blow on Bobby with her foot, following it up with a Face Buster that plants him in the mat. TK goes to grab Lycana as she's getting back up but Marf's right there to drop him with a Clothesline before he ever gets the chance to touch her. The fans boo the pair, who take a moment to give their critics a bow.
HHL: "No love lost between The Dissentients and the fans."
PC: "No love lost between them and T.N.G.B., either!"
The Dissentients walk over to TK and roll him out of the ring with their feet before heading in Bourbon's direction. They bring Bobby to his feet and Whip him towards the ropes, only for them to get dropped by a Double Clothesline from The No Good Bastard. The Dissentients are back to their feet in a hurry, where Bourbon wraps one of his massive hands around each of their throats, lifts them up, and slams them down for a Double EMC Squared that sends the crowd into a frenzy!!!!
PC: "Earth's Mightiest Chokeslam!"
Marf rolls out of the ring, where he's whacked with a Kendo Stick TK found under the ring. The Tag Champion delivers multiple shots until Lycana rolls out and catches the last one, yanking the weapon from Thunder Knuckles. As she tries to hit HIM with it, Bobby Bourbon reaches through the ropes and pulls his partner up onto the apron, causing Lycana to hit MARF instead!
HHL: "Now that's what I call teamwork!"
Lycana drops the Kendo Stick and goes to check on Marf. With both Dissentients together, Bobby Bourbon shoves Thunder Knuckles off the apron and into their opponents, sending all three of them crashing into the barricade!
PC: "The Tag Team Champions are showing NO sign of slowing down!"
HHL: "They better be careful; TK just BARELY missed that glass table on the way down!"
PC: "I'm sure they both know what they're doing."
Thunder Knuckles gets up and looks at his partner, yelling "What the FUCK?!" as if he had no idea he was about to go flying. Bobby shrugs and points to the result, causing TK to laugh and give his partner a high five from the outside.
HHL: "I'm not so sure they do, Pip."
Thunder Knuckles bends down and grabs Lycana, but Bobby motions for him to put her back down and go for Marf, instead. TK obliges, except the extra time allows for both members of the Dissentients to pop up and lift the Tag Champ over their heads, dropping him, back first, onto the barrier.
PC: "Oooooooo, that one had to hurt!"
HHL: "Once again, TK's lucky they didn't drop him through that glass table!"
PC: "I'm sure The Dissentients are still a little disorientated from TK's 'dive.'"
Bourbon climbs out of the ring, where he's met with a flurry of rights from Marf. The shots don't seem to affect Bobby much, who pushes his opponent back with ease. As he does so, Lycana picks up the Kendo Stick and does a full 360 spin before smacking Bourbon in the face SO HARD, it breaks upon impact!
PC: "This could be the opening Marf & Lycana needed!"
With Bobby's face in his hands, Marf wraps his arms around his opponent's body, allowing for Lycana to climb onto his back and hammer away at the Tag Team Champion. As she does that, Marf repeatedly rams his shoulder into Bourbon's gut in an attempt to wear him down slowly. Despite this, Bobby is still able to push Lycana off Marf's back, though she manages to land on her feet. Marf lets go of Bourbon and allows him to charge at his partner, who jumps up onto his shoulders and hits a Frankensteiner that sends Robbie, face first, into the barricade and onto Thunder Knuckles.
PC: "That Frankensteiner essentially doubled as a Body Splash to TK!"
HHL: "The Dissentients didn't even have to communicate for Marf to know Lycana wanted him to let Bobby go!"
PC: "That's the kind of teamwork that could crown new Tag Team Champions tonight!"
Each of The Dissentients take one of Bobby's arms, pull him up, and attempt to Irish Whip him towards the steel steps, but Bourbon doesn't budge. They try to pull him forward again, but Bobby is able to hold his ground and smash both of them into each other, sending the challengers stumbling in opposite directions. He drops Marf with a picture perfect Clothesline before following Lycana into the ring.
PC: "Uh oh, this could spell trouble for Lycana! She does NOT want to be left alone with Bobby Bourbon!"
As Bobby slides in, Lycana runs to the ropes on the opposite side and back towards her opponent. Unfortunately for her, Bourbon's able to pop her up into the air and hit a Spinebuster that shakes the entire ring.
HHL: "Bobby just about broke Lycana in half with that Dinosaur Extinctor!"
Bourbon drags Lycana over to the side of the ring, where he climbs out onto the apron and pulls her out with him. Then he puts her head between his legs and points to one of the glass tables, signaling for the end.
PC: "Bourbon could be looking to retain the Titles right here with a Bobby Bomb!"
Bobby lifts Lycana up into Powerbomb position but, before he can follow through with the move, Marf slides in the ring and pulls his partner off of Bourbon's shoulders. She lands on her feet and helps Marf execute a Double Dropkick that sends Bobby flying off the apron towards the glass table......................
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......................which Thunder Knuckles manages to shove out of the way at the last second, causing Bourbon to fall onto him instead!!!!!!!!!
HHL: "What a save by TK!"
PC: "TK's taken more damage from his partner than he has from either of their opponents!"
HHL: "You gotta do what you gotta do, sometimes."
PC: "Tell that to TK's body!"
Bobby helps his partner up as Lycana Springboards onto the ropes and in his direction, attempting a Hurricanrana. Unfortunately for her, Bourbon is able to catch her, mid-move, and slam her HARD against the floor with a Bobby Bomb! This leaves Marf alone in the ring, where the Tag Champs climb up onto the apron and surround him.
HHL: "This doesn't bode well for Marf!"
PC: "Not one bit! A 2 on 1 situation is the LAST place you want to find yourself in a match like this!"
Knowing he has to make a split second decision, Marf runs over to Bourbon and begins firing away with a series of rights. This doesn't last long, as Thunder Knuckles is quick to rush in and pull Marf away from his partner, delivering a Full Nelson Slam for his trouble. Bobby shakes off the shots before joining TK in the ring. Bourbon drags Marf over to a corner as Thunder Knuckles begins climbing the ropes. Once TK's at the top, Bobby hoists Marf up for a hanging Vertical Suplex and, on the way down, TK catches their opponent's right foot for a Thunder Strike!!!!!
PC: "Rainbow Laser Death Sequence!!!! Nobody gets up from THAT!"
HHL: "Yes, BUT they've still got to put him through one of those glass tables if they want to win!"
PC: "Considering Lycana's still down, and Marf's in dreamland, it shouldn't be too hard!"
Bobby Bourbon looks towards a glass table in the aisle and points at it. TK nods and climbs out to retrieve it, pulling the object near the side of the ring. Bourbon Gorilla Presses Marf high above his head and walks over towards the table. As he does so, Lycana low blows Thunder Knuckles with a sledgehammer she retrieved from under the ring! Bobby pays them no mind, continuing forward and tossing Marf towards the table. Before he can go through, however, Lycana is able to smash the sledgehammer against the glass of the table, shattering it and preventing them from losing!
PC: "Some ingenuitive thinking from the Lycan!"
HHL: "Her originality is not only impressive, but keeps them in the match, too!"
Unfortunately for Marf, the broken glass pierces his skin, sticking into him like a pin cushion. Bobby heads towards his opponents and reaches through the ropes, where Lycana smashes the hammer against his head, causing him to fall out of the ring. She immediately tosses the weapon aside and heads over to another table.
PC: "Looks like Lycana's on her own!"
HHL: "She's more than capable of getting the job done, it's just a matter of execution."
PC: "A sledgehammer to the face is certainly a nice start."
HHL: "That it is."
Lycana drags the table over to Bourbon before turning around and trying to pick him up, to no avail.
PC: "She might be better off going for TK."
HHL: "You might be right, Pip. She only has to put one of them through a table, it doesn't matter WHO."
Lycana tries a couple more times, before eventually giving up and heading towards Thunder Knuckles. She brings him to his feet and walks him over to the table, only for TK to break free and lock in the X-Bux Dream! Lycana tries to fight out of it, but she slowly begins to fade. The Dissentient takes a couple steps forward before bending down and tossing Thunder Knuckles over her shoulders at the table! Right before he can go through, Bobby Bourbon jolts up from underneath it, tossing the table backwards, and catches him!!!!!!
PC: "Bourbon's lucky he didn't do through, 'cause it would've lost is team the match!"
Before TK can thank his partner, Bobby tosses him at Lycana, sending them both tumbling backwards. Bourbon then turns his attention towards Marf, who hasn't moved since that Rainbow Laser Death Sequence earlier. He picks up Marf and turns to Scoop Slam him through the table but, somehow, the challenger is able to slip behind his opponent. Bobby turns into a Kick, with Marf setting up for the Echoslide as Bourbon hunches over. However, before he can hit it, Thunder Knuckles levels him from behind with the Steel Steps, allowing his partner to flip Marf over his shoulders, sending him through a random table behind him, sending glass flying everywhere!!!!!!!
Winners- Them No Good Bastards (STILL XWF World Tag Team Champions)
PC: "Bourbon and TK retain!"
HHL: "Great showing by the challengers, but the Champs are Champion for a reason!"
Bourbon and Thunder Knuckles celebrate at the referee grabs their Titles. He begins to head their way, only for Eobard Stone to hop the barricade and steal the belts from him!
HHL: "It's one half of EXP!"
Thunder Knuckles points to Stone, causing Bourbon to turn around and get laid out from a literal Title shot. TK backs away from The Game Master, only to receive a chair shot from behind ala Steven Cooper!
PC: "And there's the other one!"
Stone tosses one of the belts to the Trooper, who bends down and rubs it in TK's face. Eobard walks over and grabs a mic, which he uses to conk Bourbon on the head as he tries to get back up. Cooper hammers away at Thunder Knuckles as Stone holds out the mic for him. Steven stops his assault, rises up, and makes one simple statement.
"Don't forget about us......................"[/color]
He tosses the mic aside and delivers a swift Kick to TK's head as Eobard Stone deadlifts Bourbon onto his shoulders. Stone then heads towards the side of the ring and tosses Bobby off, causing his head to whiplash off the apron with a thickening crunch!
PC: "The Game Master just rolled a 20 with THAT Critical Hit!"
Steven Cooper drags a table over to TK and motions for Stone to join him. Eobard obliges, joining his partner and lifting the Tag Champ up. The Trooper wraps his arm around Thunder Knuckles' head and falls backwards, driving TK's face through the glass!
HHL: "Snowfall!"
PC: "These two are next in line for the Titles and they wanted to make sure the Champions know that!"
EXP holds the Tag belts above their heads for a moment before tossing them down like they were nothing. The fans boo as they make their way up the ramp, acting as if they'd already won the Titles.
HHL: "How 'bout winning a match, guys?"
PC: "Oh they plan to, Heather! Just one win and we'll have NEW XWF World Tag Team Champions!"
HHL: "We'll see, surely Bourbon and TK are gonna have something to say about tonight!"
Suddenly...
Flames burst from the ring posts.
It keeps burning.
PC: Oh! I think this might be another one of these fire mishaps. This time it’s getting too close to the talent. They’re still in there in the ring!
HHL: Don’t forget the oxygen issue.
PC: Oh God! I forgot about the oxygen! Put it out! Put it out!
Staff rush to the ring armed with extinguishers once more.
HHL: How many extinguishers do we have back there? What if we run out?
PC: Don’t say that!
While the talent in the ring look for ways past the fire, the staff get to work putting it out. Eventually, the fire dies.
PIP: "I've just received an update on Dolly Waters and Micheal Graves after whatever that was in the ring earlier. I'm being told that Dolly Waters has fled from emergency personal, and Micheal Graves is said to be acting very strangely."
HHL: "Isn't acting strange normal for Micheal Graves?"
PIP: "Yes, but I'm being told that he's acting stranger than usual."
"Oh my! I wonder why Dolly would flea from the EMC staff?"
PIP: "Likely to escape Graves stench. Seriously, we could smell that guy all the way over here folks!"
HHL: "It's true! He smelt like onions and hotdog water!"
PC: "Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for the Leap of Faith Match in which this pay-per-view draws it's namesake from."
HHL: "That's right, Pip, we've got 10 men competing in it this year and you can bet every single one of them is anxious to get their hands on the real 24/7 briefcase."
PC: "Absolutely, Heather, that briefcase can change an entire career in a single night. Oswald's opportunity to show BOB he's Elite, Corey's Title shot that's been eluding him ever since he became conscious again; not to mention former Champions like Jim Caedus, Dock and Chris.......... I mean, Corporate Chaos looking to prove to the world they still have what it takes to rule the world, once more."
HHL: "Not to mention someone like RL Edgar or Demos, right there on the cusp of Main Event status, just needing one more big win to take that proverbial 'leap.' Or perhaps a relative newcomer looking to make a serious impact right away, such as Sil, Rel, or Thrax."
PC: "Regardless of who heads back to earth with that coveted briefcase, one thing's for sure: their life will NEVER be the same!"
HHL: "You could almost say that about everyone competing here, on the moon, tonight!"
A strange, futuristic song that sounds like a mesh of "Kashmir" by Led Zeppelin, "Killing Moon" by Echo and the Bunnymen, as well as "Fly Me to the Moon" by Frank Sinatra(almost as if management couldn't agree on one specific song) begins to play as the 10 Leap of Faith competitors make their way down the aisle, one by one. The fans cheer them on as they head to the ring and climb in. Each wrestler has their own individual reaction to the crowd, with some playing into it, and others keeping their focus on the task at hand.
HHL: "Our previous 2 winners took nearly opposite paths upon retrieving their briefcases; with Ned Kaye waiting almost an entire year before declaring his intentions to cash in, and Sarah Lacklan doing it before the event was even over!"
PC: "Hopefully everyone paid attention to Sarah's methods and not Ned's, as she was the one who actually walk away from HER cash in WITH the Universal Championship."
HHL: "Surely everyone in that ring has contemplated what they're going to do IF they walk away with the correct briefcase; unfortunately, only one of them will be able to make that dream a reality!"
With all 10 individuals in the ring ready to go, one of the refs on the outside turns towards the time keeper and calls for the bell, getting the match underway.
DING! DING! DING!
2021 Leap of Faith Match
Corey Smith
- vs -
R.L. Edgar
- vs -
Demos
- vs -
Money Oswald
- vs -
Jim Caedus
- vs -
Corporate Chaos
- vs -
Sil Frigida
- vs -
Thrax
- vs -
Rel Dixon
- vs -
Dock
This match will start in the ring before proceeding up to the rafters of the arena Space Station before finally culminating in the winner grabbing the winning 24/7 Briefcase in the 3rd level of the set up which is a room with Zero G. In addition there are multiple fake cases in the Zero G room. Only ONE case contains the coveted 24/7 Briefcase
Warfare Rules
Sil Frigida steps forward and begins flexing his arms, daring any one of his opponents to step up and try him. RL Edgar answers the call, going chest to chest with the all natural athlete, who thanks him with a massive right to the face. Edgar backs up into Oswald, who steps aside and lets Sil hammer away at him against the ropes. With the two of them busy swinging away at each other, Big Money runs to the opposite side, where Dixon and Chaos part like sea, allowing him to bounce back towards Edgar and Frigida, Clotheslining them BOTH over the top rope to the outside.
PC: "Big Money Oswald making his presence felt early in this big money match!"
A pumped up Oz turns around, only to be lifted onto Corporate Chaos' shoulders and planted, face first, into the mat with The Equalizer! Chaos gets to his feet, where Thrax grabs him from behind by the hair and connects with a Hellbound DDT! Before he can even get up, Ariel Dixon steps forward and lifts Thrax into Gory Neckbreaker position, dropping him with the Mental Breakdown! Just as Rel had done with Thrax, Dock steps forward and grabs at her, hoisting Dixon up above his head, spinning around, and connecting with the Lobotomy, landing on his butt for full execution of the move. Seeing an opportunity to take out one of the match's biggest threats, Jim Caedus hurries towards Dock, brings him to his feet, and gets him into a Half Nelson before driving him into the canvas for a Nail Driver! This allows Demos to take advantage by hitting Caedus with a Devil Hook Drop on his way back up! An overzealous Charlie Nickles celebrates in the center of the ring, as Corey Smith confidentially approaches him from behind. Corey does nothing, at first, instead allowing his opponent to feel safe in the moment. Eventually, Demos turns around, where Corey waves at him before spinning around and nearly knocking his head off with a Face Pain De-Lux that sends Charlie stumbling through the ropes to the outside!!!!!
PC: "Do you know what they call that, Heather?"
HHL: "An awesome sequence of events?"
PC: "No............. a spotfest!"
HHL: "Call it what you will, but I'M gonna stick with awesome!"
Corey looks up to the rafters, before heading towards a corner to scale the scaffolding. However, before he can make it over, Big Money Oswald is back in the ring, kicking Smith in the gut and hoisting him up in Powerbomb position. Oswald then pops Corey into the air and brings him back down, at an angle, for The DELETION!!!!!!!
PC: "Oswald just took out one of the favorites to win!"
The Billion Dollar Man looks around and sees Sil Frigida climbing up the scaffolding in one corner, while RL Edgar climbs up another. Oswald settles on Edgar, heading over and climbing the ropes to stop him. RL swings at Oz, who takes the shot head on before responding with one of his own. The two of them go back and forth, so focused on each other that they don't notice Thrax climbing up beneath them. Once there, he smacks each of them in the back and yanks on the back of their pants in an attempt to pull them down. They don't budge and, instead, turn their attention to him, hammering away at the newcomer until his legs slip out from under him.
PC: "Thrax is hanging on by the thread of his opponents' pants!"
Edgar and Oswald fire away, furiously, trying everything they can to get their opponent off their ass. It looks as though Thrax might fall but, before he does, he's able to get his feet back onto the scaffolding, preventing it. Seeing an opportunity, RL elbows The Billion Dollar Man in the jaw, sending him crashing to the canvas inside the ring. With Edgar distracted, Thrax is able to Olympic Slam him off the scaffolding through a table Ariel Dixon had set up for her own purposes.
PC: "That Infernal Drop took both Edgar AND Thrax straight to hellllll!!!!"
HHL: "Rel can't believe it! She didn't even mean for that to happen!"
PC: "Well it certainly worked out, that's for sure!"
A dazed Oswald gets to his knees, only for Corey Smith to slide in and punt his head like a football with a violent Extra Face Pain De-Lux!
HHL: "So much for taking him out!"
PC: "Well, it sounded good at the time!"
As all that's going on, Sil scales the other side, using his strength to pull himself up with ease. Dock goes to follow him, but Chaos is there to pull the former King down and chop him across the chest. This pisses Dock off, who grabs Chaos by the side of the head and rams it into the scaffolding. He follows it up with a flurry of strikes to Chris's ribs, before smashing the back of his head against the steel, once more. Dock looks up at Frigida, who's too far ahead to catch, but that doesn't stop him from trying.
It's at this point, we see Charlie Nickles setting up a very tall ladder, which he hurries up as fast as his pudgy body will allow him to. A cocky Sil lets go of the scaffold with one of his arms, showing off his power for everyone in attendance. This allows Demos the extra time needed to make it to the top of the ladder and dive off at Frigida, sending both men crashing to the arena floor!
HHL: "A prime example of why you SHOULDN'T show off in the middle of a match!"
PC: "Or let Charlie Nickles near a ladder!"
Jim Caedus climbs up the scaffolding in a different corner, with everyone too busy to see him. Eventually Corey notices and begins climbing up the side Oswald, Edgar, & Thrax had been fighting on just moments before. With everyone in his viscinity down, Dock pulls himself onto the apron and joins his opponents on their journey towards the top. Ariel Dixon follows suit, laying claim to the final corner's set of scaffolding and making her way up.
PC: "This is the opportunity these four needed! With 10 competitors, you gotta take advantage of every chance you get!"
Caedus, Corey, Dock, and Dixon make it into the rafters, where they all stand in defensive stances. Eventually, Jim goes after Rel, prompting Corey and Dock to head towards one of the hatches on their own. Smith makes it there first and tries to open the door, but Dock yanks him away and punches him square in the face.
HHL: "Continuum is clashing!"
PC: "After what went down during Dock's match with Alias, you had to know something like this was going to happen!"
On the floor below, Corporate Chaos gets to his feet and goes to climb the scaffolding. With everyone else either already in the rafters or down, no-one is there to stop him. Demos slowly begins to stir but, rather than focus on Chaos, he instead crawls over to the side of the ring where he begins looking under the apron.
Back up top, Ariel Dixon goes back and forth with Jim Caedus, as Dock and Corey Smith do the same. This allows Chaos to slither his way onto the rafters undetected, where he waits for the right moment to strike.
HHL: "Chris Chaos......."
PC(interrupting): "Corporate Chaos!"
HHL: ".................Corporate Chaos doesn't look to be in any sort of hurry to fight!"
PC: "Why should he be? He knows his opponents will take each other out FOR him, all he's gotta do is be there to clean up the scraps!"
A particularly vicious shot from Corey sends Dock stumbling in Chaos' direction. He prepares to hit the Corporate One, but Chaos points over Dock's shoulders at Smith, who's already begun opening up the hatch to the Zero G Room. Dock lets out a sigh, before joining Chaos in rushing towards his former Continuum brethren. Corey manages to get the door open, causing him to float up, but Dock and Chaos are right there to pull him back down! They throw Corey onto the rafters, with Dock ordering Chris to shut the hatch. Rather than doing what he's asked, Chaos begins to climb on up, himself. Dock takes exception to this and yanks him down, as well, before slamming the door shut and stomping a mudhole all over Chaos AND Smith.
On the other side, Caedus gets the upper hand on Dixon, leaning her over the railing as if he was gonna throw her off the rafters. As Rel hangs on for dear life, RL Edgar comes into view, climbing up the scaffolding and onto the outside part of the rafters. He tries to help Caedus at first, but Dixon refuses to let go, wrapping both her arms AND legs around the only thing keeping her from a potentially deadly drop. This prompts Edgar to hit Jim, forcing him to back up and allowing RL to slide under the railing, where he hammers away at Caedus some more. With Jim leaning against the opposite railing, Edgar charges towards him and attempts to Clothesline Caedus off the rafters. Fortunately, Jim is able to duck under it, only to have Rel coming at him with a Superkick! Once again, the former Universal Champion is able to avoid it, causing Dixon's foot to smack Edgar in the face instead, sending him toppling over the railing down to the ring below. RL goes crashing against them at in a sickening way!!!!!! On his way down, Edgar just barely misses a stack of tables Demos began piling up in a unique attempt to make it up to the rafters.
HHL: "Oh my God! RL Edgar could be DEAD!!!!!!!"
PC: "If he's not, I bet he wishes he was!"
Demos and Dixon look down at the motionless Edgar, with Rel not realizing Caedus is waiting behind her. Eventually, she turns around, allowing for Jim to absolutely wallop her with a Purgatory Punch that blatantly knocks Dixon out and sends her hurdling over the railing, through Charlie's stack of tables, down to the mat next to RL!!!!!!! An annoyed Demos throws his arms up, irritated that Rel just destroyed his clever way up.
PC: "Looks like Edgar's gonna have some company in the afterlife!"
HHL: "Will you stop? We could have some serious injuries at play here, and all you can think to do is make a joke?"
PC: "They don't pay me to be sympathetic, Heather."
EMTs rush out to check on Edgar and Dixon as Dock takes advantage of the situation by opening the hatch and entering the Zero G Room.
PC: "Dock's the first one in!"
Jim Caedus opens the second hatch on the opposite side of the rafters and climbs in, as well.
HHL: "Caedus follows close behind!"
Down on the floor, Demos and Thrax team up on Sil Frigida, proving to be too much for one person to handle. They take turns bashing him in the arms with chair shots, with him going from one wrestler to the other with each blow. Sil drops to his knees, leaning against the ring post for any sort of relief. It's at this point that Demos holds up a finger to Thrax before reaching into his pants and pulling out so many chains, you would've thought he was a clown doing some sort of act.
HHL: "How on earth can he hold all that in there and still move around?!?"
PC: "I stopped questioning things the moment I heard we were going to the moon."
HHL: "Good point."
Thrax and Charlie work together to wrap the chains around the massive bodybuilder, with Nickles eventually pulling out three different padlocks and latching them together in various positions. Demos steps back and admires his work, as Sil does everything in his power to escape, but is unable to do so.
HHL: "We've got two competitors possibly dead, and another completely incapacitated!"
PC: "The less opposition, the better for everyone involved...................... everyone not named RL, Sil, and Rel, that is!"
Demos goes to climb up the scaffolding, but Thrax pulls him off and tosses him into the barricade, before scaling the metal himself. On the opposite side, Big Money Oswald is doing the same thing.
HHL: "We haven't seen Oz since that brutal kick from Corey earlier."
PC: "I think he was playing the waiting game. Since nobody ACTUALLY expects him to win, it's easy to slide under the radar!"
HHL: "Well he's certainly got a better chance than Dixon, Edgar, or Frigida!"
PC: "You can say THAT again!"
Inside the Zero G Room, Dock and Caedus float up through the hatches, unaware of the other's presence. They both close their respective doors behind them, before turning to see the plethora of briefcases floating all around, with an absolutely gorgeous shot of the moon's surface gleaming in through a reinforced window.
HHL: "It's beautiful!"
PC: "There's gotta be a hundred cases floating around!"
Jim and Dock each grab a briefcase floating in front of them, noticing the other upon retrieving their case. Rather than open it, Dock floats in Jim's direction and attempts to knock his head off with the case. Caedus kicks off the floor and floats high above Doc, opening the briefcase as he does so.
PC: "If that's the contract, this one's over!"
Jim pops open the briefcase and pulls out a pistol, causing his jaw to drop. Knowing there's no laws in space, Caedus points the gun at Dock and prepares to fire away. Dock looks worried for a brief second, before chuckling to himself and motioning for his opponent to do it. Jim shrugs and pulls the trigger, preparing to murder an XWF Legend. The gun goes off but, as soon as the bullet leaves the barrel, it floats up harmlessly towards the ceiling!
PC: "Oh wow, a fake gun!"
HHL: "No, Pip, it wasn't. Do you not know what Zero G means?"
PC: "Of course I do!"
Pip sits in silence as Dock opens up his briefcase.......................... only to pull out Karen Hunt's dildo, complete with attached vibrating rabbit ears!(we know it's Karen's because it has the name "Mike" written across the shaft in Sharpie) A disgusted Dock drops it, causing the sex toy to float up towards Caedus and smack him in the face along the way.
PC: "You had to know they weren't gonna put the actual briefcase so close to the hatch!"
Up in the rafters, Corporate Chaos gets to his feet and opens the door to the Zero G Room. Unfortunately for him, Corey Smith is right there to not only pull him down, but throw him over the railing! Chaos manages to hold on and slide back into the middle, as Corey makes his way in. He tries to close the hatch behind him, but Chris is there to prevent him from doing so. Distracted by the Corporate One, Smith doesn't see Dock come up from behind and whack him in the back of the head with a new briefcase! The blow causes Corey's body to go limp and float up towards the ceiling, allowing Chaos to climb his way up, too.
HHL: "That room's crowding fast!"
PC: "And we've still got Thrax, Oswald, and now Demos, making their way towards it, as well!"
Thrax and Oswald make it onto the rafters, with Oz heading over to a hatch and cranking it open. All of a sudden, Thrax grabs Big Money from behind, turns him around, and connects with a Powerslam that sends Oz sliding off the edge of the balcony. He somehow manages to cling onto the ledge as Thrax turns away and heads into the Zero G Room. Oswald hangs on, trying everything he can to prevent himself from falling, before eventually using all the strength he's got to pull himself on up.
HHL: "Close call for Big Money!"
Oswald lies on his back and looks up, taking deep breaths in a desperate attempt to recover. Demos finally makes it up there, too, but also has to take some time to regain his stamina after an exhausting climb.
PC: "We're being told that RL Edgar IS conscious, and has been rocketed to the nearest Medical Station for further treatment."
HHL: "Also, Ariel Dixon refused medical attention, insisting she CAN continue, but we haven't seen much out of her since her OWN fall."
PC: "It would appear the tables Demos setup actually slowed her down a bit, lessening the impact with the ring!"
HHL: "Even so, I don't expect to see anything out of her for the rest of the match; this is simply a matter of pride."
Seeing Corporate Chaos enter the fray, Dock lightly shoves his briefcase in the Chaotic One's direction. Chaos catches it but, before he can crack it open, Dock punches the case into his face! Chris goes floating backwards, leaving the briefcase with Dock once more. He attempts to open it, but Thrax snatches it from him upon entering the room. Thrax goes to open it, only to be stunned to find it filled with cheese!!!!!
PC: "That's cheese was taken straight from the moon's surface!"
HHL: ".............sure it was."
The dairy products float out of the case and spread everywhere, filling the room with much more than just briefcases and wrestlers. An irate Dock grabs Thrax by the head, kicks himself up in the air, and uses whatever momentum he can build to fly back down towards the floor, jamming Thrax's face into it!
HHL: "Dock is NOT happy with how Thrax stole that case from him!"
PC: "Just imagine how much worse it'd be had that one actually contained the contract!"
The camera shows Dock continuously smashing Thrax's skull against the floor, enjoying every minute of it.
HHL: "I shutter at the thought."
Near the top of the room, Corey Smith comes to right next to a briefcase. He quickly grabs onto it and unlocks the front, causing a cluster of beads to float out!
HHL: "Beads?"
PC: "Not just ANY beads............... Thad Duke's anal beads!"
Corey pockets them, only to get blind sided with a heavy right from Jim Caedus. Smith goes flying towards the side of the room but, like some sort of anime character, Corey is able to spin in mid-air so that he lands on his feet; before pushing off the wall back in Caedus' direction! Jim doesn't see his opponent coming by the time Smith lands a devastating Kick that sends Caedus into the opposite side of the room, crashing HARD against the wall!
PC: "You don't see THAT on earth!"
HHL: "You certainly don't."
Corporate Chaos manages to get a briefcase................................. which MINI MORBID springs out of upon opening! A few strums can be heard on a Spanish guitar as the miniature superstar flies towards Chaos, who manages to duck out of the way at the last second. Morbid floats down towards the hatch, which Big Money Oswald opens and enter just in time for Mini to latch onto his face!!!!!
PC: "Big Money against Mini Morbid; THIS is what the fans paid to see!"
Oz attempts to pull the midget wrestler off of him, but Mini Morbid is latched on too tight! Despite not being able to see, Big Money reaches out and grabs onto a case, which he swings at Morbid's back in a desperate attempt to get him off! After about five swings, Mini Morbid let's go, allowing Oswald to open the briefcase......................................................................................... revealing MUSCLE MIDGET inside!!!!!!!!
HHL: "He's heading right for Morbid!"
The two midget wrestlers float around the room, exchanging shots as they get in the match participants' way. They knock a briefcase Dock and Caedus were struggling for out of BOTH their hands, sending it up towards Corey. Before he can open it, Muscle Midget chucks Mini Morbid in his direction, knocking the case out of Smith's hands and replacing it with Morbid himself. Corey tries to open Mini, only to punt him back towards Muscle Midget upon realizing he's no longer holding onto a case.
HHL: "As if we didn't already have enough going on in this match"
PC: "I heard NASA sent Midget and Morbid up here because they thought they were chimps!"
Floating around aimlessly, Muscle Midget and Mini Morbid accidentally bump into the gravity button, removing the zero from the Zero G Room!
PC: "Uh oh!"
All of a sudden, everyone and everything falls out of the air, onto the floor of the Zero G Room. Corey Smith takes a nasty fall, having been up the highest at the time of gravity's initiation. The briefcases also take a tumble, causing everyone to spring to their feet and make a mad dash towards them!
HHL: "This could be it right here, Pip!"
PC: "Absolutely! It'll be MUCH easier to open the briefcases when they're NOT floating all over the place!"
With everyone scrambling to get their hands on whatever cases they can, Big Money Oswald stands up, brushes himself off, and grabs hold of Mini Morbid with one hand!
HHL: "Looks like Oswald's got other plans!"
Right before anyone can get ahold of any briefcases, Big Money launches Morbid like a lawn dart towards the gravity button. The midget rockets, face first, into it, causing briefcases to float out of the competitors' arms before they could be open!
PC: "Hold on, it looks like Chaos got one!"
Corporate Chaos just manages to crack one open as gravity comes back, only for some sort of meteorite to pop out and crack him in the chin, slowly rolling up his entire face before making it's way towards the ceiling.
PC: "That is NOT a meteor!"
HHL: "It's not?"
PC: "Nope................. it's a Boeing Bomb, made from everyone in attendance's poop!"
HHL: "Huh, I would've thought it'd be bigger."
PC: "Considering the in flight meal was a bottle of toothpaste, I'm not!"
On the rafters outside the Zero G Room, Demos finally recovers enough to make his way over to a hatch and open it up. However, before he can climb in, Muscle Midget drops down and runs past him out of view. Demos shrugs and tries to climb in, again, only for Mini Morbid to fall out and scurry off in Muscle Midget's direction.
HHL: "Something tells me that's not the strangest thing Charlie's ever seen."
PC: "Probably not; especially if he's ever looked into a mirror!"
Demos enters the room, unnoticed, and begins snatching up all the briefcases around him. He tries his best to put them. into a stack, but half of them end up floating away as soon as he lets go. Charlie huffs before turning his attention to the ones he's still got, cracking each of them open. In true Nickles fashion, NONE of the briefcases have the contract inside; with the first containing nothing, the second an I.O.U., the third a Demos doll(which Nickles rips up immediately upon opening), and the fourth a set of Russian nesting dolls, one for each of Charlie's personalities!
HHL: "Charlie's 0 for 4, and looking for more!"
Demos manages to reach a fifth briefcase, which he opens to reveal some sort of 3D printed letter!
PC: "Is that an M?"
HHL: "I believe it's a W!"
PC: "Oh wow, Charlie's been needing one of those!"
A furious Nickles takes the letter and springs towards Dock, who happens to be in the middle of a Chop battle with Jim Caedus. Demos swings at the back of Dock's head, but the March Madness winner ducks without so much as a glance behind him, causing Charlie to smack Caedus in the face with the W, instead. Nickles drops the letter and turns back towards Dock, who looks ready to unleash hell on the former Television Champion. Before he can, though, Big Money Oswald appears next to them and smashes their heads together, causing them to float in opposite directions. That's when a mysterious man wearing a spacesuit floats into view behind The Billion Dollar Man.
HHL: "Who is THAT?!?"
A close-up reveals the face of Drew Archyle through the spaceman's helmet, receiving an enormous pop from the live crowd down below!
PC: "It's Drew Archyle!!!"
HHL: "What's he doing here? He's not even in this match!"
Drew grabs a random briefcase and bashes Oswald across the face with it before "tossing" it over to Jim Caedus, disappearing into the vast void of space afterwards. An anxious Caedus opens it, revealing a short, hand written note inside.
Drew says "Hi"
Jim rolls his eyes and shoves the contents aside, scrambling around for another one. Before he can get his hands on one, Corey appears out of nowhere and clocks him with a baseball bat he found in a previous case. Caedus plummets towards Corporate Chaos who catches his around the waist, hops up and does a full 360 in the air, before shooting back down with the craziest German Suplex in the history of time and space!
PC: "That's the greatest thing I've EVER seen!"
HHL: "Chaos making his presence known with THAT German Moonplex!"
PC: "Who owns the moon NOW, America?"
Corporate Chaos turns to grab a briefcase, but Charlie Nickles is there to Kick him in the stomach and set up for the Devil Hook Drop. As he tries to fall backwards, however, the two of them float UPwards, instead!
HHL: "I don't think THIS is what Charlie had in mind!"
Thrax grabs onto both of their ankles and drags them down, bashing both their skulls against the floor as he does so. The newcomer lets Chaos go and focuses on Demos, grabbing him by the shirt and holding him outwards. Without warning, Thrax's eyes glow green and shoot some sort of lasers at Charlie Nickles, burning him to a crisp beyond recognition.
HHL: "Thrax just murdered Charlie Nickles!!!!!"
PC: "Nooooooooooo, Charlie got Gilly'd! He had an ex-wife and kids, dammit!"
HHL: "Before we know it, Graves is gonna be wearing him like a fur coat!"
PC: "Too soon, Heather, too soon!!!"
Thrax lets Charlie Nickles' corpses float up towards the ceiling as he reaches for another briefcase. He starts opening it just as Corey Smith appears in front of him and kicks Thrax away. Out of the case floats a golf club, which Corey grabs and bends over Thrax's head with a single shot. Smith leaves Thrax where he is and begins searching for the correct case. He grabs a few and shakes them, but leaves them be after a quick shake and attempt to listen inside.
PC: "An interesting strategy by Corey Smith!"
HHL: "I don't know how much it'll actually work, but it can't be any worse than going with your gut!"
Corey eventually settles on one, but Dock grabs him from behind, causing him to let go. Jim Caedus floats into view and grabs the case, himself, only to have Corporate Chaos smash his head between TWO different briefcases! He grabs hold of the one everyone else had at some point, only to have Big Money Oswald Hammer Fist him from above, sending Chaos flying to the floor without the case! Oz goes to grab it, only to have Thrax shoot more lasers in his direction. The Billion Dollar Man is able to dodge them and rush towards Thrax with his arm cocked back. Before he can hit him, Corey comes back down and Kicks the briefcase out of Oswald's hands. Caedus is there to pick it up but, before he can open it, Dock swoops up and grabs hold of the other side. Both men float towards the ceiling, having a tug of war with the briefcase like it was the last. They pull back and forth until Chaos steals it back, flying down towards the floor while simultaneously opening it....................
PC: "Was it worth all the fighting?!?"
.........................inside the briefcase is nothing more than tickets to a Justin Bieber concert!
HHL: "Absolutely not!"
Chaos looks up and sees Corey Smith floating with a different briefcase. With no-one around to stop him, Smith opens it up to reveal.........................
PC: "He did it! Corey Smith did it! He's finally getting the Title shot he's felt he deserved all along!"
HHL: "XWF has a new Mr. 24/7, you gotta wonder what Alias has to say about that!"
PC: "The landscape of XWF certainly is changing fast. With the two of them holding those briefcases, things are gonna be unpredictable from here on out!"
HHL: "It should be noted that, before Corey retrieved his briefcase, Ariel Dixon had made her way towards the ropes on an attempt to continue after her fall earlier!"
PC: "Absolutely incredible! Everyone in this match did an amazing job, Corey was just a step ahead of the rest of them!"
Corey Smith celebrates with his briefcase before making his way out of the Zero G Room. The rest of the competitors look on in disappointment as Corey holds his case close in anticipation of the future.
Thunder Knuckles and Bobby Bourbon are in the backstage area celebrating their hard earned victory when two men in ALL LEATHER outfits and blacked out motorcycle helmets dash into the room and knock the tag team champions to the floor from behind!
The pair of assailants stomp and then boot and boot and then stomp and occasionally even stomp AND boot at the same time! TK and Bobby are unable to ward off the attack, and one of the men pulls over a nearby travelling trunk, which opens to reveal CLANGY POLES!!! The most devastating weapon of any backstage brawl, these long poles are loud and proud. The poles get dumped onto Knuckles, who seizes up and starts to quiver from the incredibly powerful attack.
The two men then pull off their helmets and reveal two glorious mullets. One black and one blond - both AMERICAN.
Johnny ‘Twisted’ Steele: “YOU SISSIES FINISHED PLAYING SLAP AND TICKLE BACK HERE NOW, AIN'T YOU!? THAT’S WHAT YOU GET YOU TWO PILES OF CRAP!!!”
‘Dangerous’ Dave Mustang: “Me and Johnny heard you two CHUMPS running your TRAPS on that radio program earlier in the week. Talking all that NOISE about the
D-Grators! WELLLLLLLLL buddy ask and you shall receive! Me and ‘Balls Of’ have been riding our hogs here to the moon for days just to make you EAT THOSE WORDS!”
Steele sets up some of the clangy poles against a wall as Mustang pulls Bourbon up to his feet. Mustang then whips Bourbon into the poles, the most debilitating assault possible. Bourbon collapses to the floor with his mouth foaming.
‘Dangerous’ Dave Mustang: “How you like THEM apples, Robert? You two buttholes really CHAPPED MY ASS.”
Johnny ‘Twisted’ Steele: “THEY SURE DID DANGEROUS! I AIN’T BEEN THIS MAD SINCE MY OLD LADY TOLD ME SHE THOUGHT SHE WAS PREGNANT! WE GOT PLENTY OF KNUCKLES FOR THESE NO GOOD BASTARDS, AND WE’RE READY TO BRING THE GOT-DANG THUNDER TOO! TELL ‘EM D!!!”
Dave Mustang kneels down and grabs the XWF Tag Team Titles from the floor, handing one of them over to Johnny Steele. He then hovers over the body of Thunder Knuckles, who is still coughing and trying to recover from the crippling assault.
‘Dangerous’ Dave Mustang: “These belts? These belts should be around these two SEXY waists right here! Grade A USDA approved All-American MAN waists!”
Johnny ‘Twisted’ Steele: “THAT’S RIGHT DADDY! THESE HOT RODS CARRY HOT BODS! LIKE A V-12 THESE PISTONS ROCK N’ ROLL ALL NIGHT LONG, BABY!!!”
‘Dangerous’ Dave Mustang: “I’m sick and tired of you two LOSERS claiming the top spot around here! So me and the Twisted One? We’re challenging you two puppies to bring it to the DOG POUND and NUT UP OR SHUT UP! You two versus two bad boy leather daddies for the STRAPS! In a ROAD RASH CHALLENGE! All four of us on Harleys at top speed! First team to get knocked off their bikes is a couple of PUSSY ASS PUNKS!”
Johnny ‘Twisted’ Steele: “AND WE AIN’T NO PUNKS DAVEY! GIMME THAT FREAKIN’ POLE!!!”
Johnny Steele grabs a clangy pole and grunts while he tries to bend it. Sweat beads on his brow and his cheeks go purple as he sputters and strains. Eventually he throws the pole down onto Thunder Knuckles and screams in rage.
Johnny ‘Twisted’ Steele: “I’M GONNA BEND THESE TWO GOOFBALLS’ SPINES JUST LIKE I BENT THAT DAMN POLE INTO A PRETZEL JUST NOW!!!”
‘Dangerous’ Dave Mustang: “You sure did Johnny! See you punks on the road… if you got the BALLS!”
The Disintigrators walk off, with Steele giving a thick snot rocket to Bobby Bourbon as they leave the room.
The crowd responds with a huge reception!
HHL: Ah hell, here we freaking go!
Pip: This is the one we have ALL been waiting for!
The ovation grows louder as ROBERT MAIN walks through the curtain!
HHL: There he is; Robert Main is officially on his way to the ring to take on his former best friend and tag team partner for the Universal Championship!
Pip: The story between Robert Main and Chris Page is well chronicled over the last two years, and now all roads lead right where it started with these two! I am freaking excited!
Robert reaches ringside where he climbs up on the ring apron before stepping through the ropes and into the empty ring. The crowd is on fire for Robert as his music starts to fade away. Robert paces back and forth within the confines of the ring waiting.
HHL: Robert’s on Chris Page’s time now. The Champ is making him wait.
Pip: As well he should.
Suddenly the lights go dark in the space station.
The crowd erupts with massively loud boos as the countdown clock ticks down to zero before breaking into “Judas” by Fozzy! Spotlights hit the top of the smoke-filled ramp where seen walking out through the smoky haze is none other than the XWF Universal Champion “CHRONIC” CHRIS PAGE! Chris Page stands at the top of the ramp looking directly at the ring at his former partner, his former friend, and the man he had skull cracked with a baseball bat. The boos are unreal for Page but only get louder as walking out behind him is MISS FURY, we then have ANDRE DIXON who is in street clothes, followed by BOBBY BOURBON who has changed into a Tuxedo and finally walking out in a sleeveless Referee’s shirt is THUNDER KNUCKLES; BOB ELITE.
HHL: The back of Robert Main is firmly against the wall as all members of BOB Elite are present and accounted for with this stipulation named by the Champion.
Pip: Stop making excuses for Robert Main okay, he has always talked a big game about being the best so let us see if he can back his goddamn words.
Chris is all smirks as he starts to make the walk towards the ring with Miss Fury on his arm and his boys in close pursuit behind him.
HHL: How do you expect Main to hold himself together knowing he is going to be in the ring with the two principal players that contributed to him missing almost four months of action?
Pip: Who the hell cares!?!?! He cannot lay a finger on Thunder Knuckles or he can kiss his title hopes goodbye, but then again to Main, it is not about the title, right? Why the hell did he enter the Battle Royale then when clearly Chris Page was more than clear about fighting him whenever, where ever.
Chris Page reaches ringside where he kisses Miss Fury before she starts to make her way around the ring towards the time keeper’s position while blowing Robert a kiss. Next Andre Dixon and Page fist bump before he starts to lurk around the ringside area.
Bobby Bourbon climbs up onto the ring apron and steps through the ropes where an old-school-style microphone lowers down into the ring from above. Chris Page and Thunder Knuckles have some words as Chris is overheard telling Thunder Knuckles with sheer sarcasm.
” Call it right down the middle…”
There is a wink from Page as TK slides into the ring where he reaches his feet. He looks over Main and swings an imaginary bat towards him followed by laughing hysterically before finally, the Universal Champion starts to make his way up the ring steps and to the ring apron.
HHL: The reality of Robert Main’s current situation has got to be setting in if you are the challenger. Everywhere you look there is a member of BOB Elite.
Pip: Main has all of this coming to him, and I personally cannot wait for this execution to get underway.
Chris steps through the ropes where he removes his ring jacket and unstraps the Universal Championship from his waist where he hoists it high in the air for all to see which garners loud boos from the crowd. Chris lowers the title resting it over his right shoulder as “Judas” fades out and all eyes lock on Bobby Bourbon.
Bobby Bourbon: Ladies and Gentleman this IS your Leap of Faith Main Event of the evening, LIVE FROM THE MOON! This is one small step for man, one giant leap in travel expenses! How profitable was this trip, seriously? We had to bring our own oxygen for fucks sake.
There is a loud pop from the crowd as the distinguished Bobby Bourbon continues.
Bobby Bourbon: It is scheduled for one fall, and is for the XWF Universal Championship!
HHL: The tension is so thick you can almost cut it with a knife.
Bobby Bourbon: First allow me to introduce to you the special guest timekeeper; she is one of the founding parental figures of BOB and keeps time neat and tidy, she is MISS FURY!
The crowd boos intently at the bWo World Heavyweight Champion as she waves towards the crowd with a sly smirk on her face.
Bobby Bourbon: Allow me to now introduce your special guest ring announcer, the Big Bad of Big Bads, the Wednesday Night Wrecker, Sultan of Smacktalk, ME!
The crowd boos louder as Chris and Thunder Knuckles can be seen applauding the Bourbs.
Bobby Bourbon: Introducing the special outside enforcer, and he enforces outsides like he was born to do it people, ANDRE DIXON!
Dixon spouts off at some of the crowd to more boos.
Bobby Bourbon: And finally introducing your SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE; the one, the only, the homerun hitting, never bullshitting, the Relentless Legend, Smacktalker Supreme, and my best friend and co-holder of the XWF Tag Team Championships, THUNDER KNUCKLES!
Thunder Knuckles walks out towards the center of the ring looking directly over at Robert Main where he flips him off.
Bobby Bourbon: Now introducing the participants; first he is coming in tonight as the challenger in the corner to my left… ladies and gentlemen please welcome…. WALNUT BRAIN… No, wait… I mean please welcome…. That guy.
Thunder Knuckles walks up whispering into Bobby’s ear.
Bobby Bourbon: You are absolutely right, you cracked that guy's walnut, and the only reason he ain't brain-damaged is that there was nothing to damage, to begin with. The SECOND Robert behind yours truly, and seriously, get with the times, I went with Bobby because you made Rob sound bad. Robert "I love Drew Archyle but that guy has done nothing in his career besides ride in a sidecar", "I never have stains in my drawers because I ain't shit", "the most relevant thing I have done all year brought Jim Caedus back", MAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIN!
HHL: They are making a complete mockery of this.
Robert Main is not pleased as you can see him starting to fume.
Bobby Bourbon: And his opponent; he is the founding father of BOB, and for the last four months has defended the Universal Championship more than any other Universal Champion of the modern era in the same time frame; including his challenger, he is the current reigning and defending XWF UNIVERSAL CHAMPION… “CHRONIC” CHRIS PAGE!
Chris Page raises the Universal Championship high in the air once again as the loudest boos of the evening reign down upon him. He passes the Universal Championship over to Thunder Knuckles who raise it back up in the air and then hands it to Miss Fury on the floor. Bobby Bourbon exits the ring and takes a seat next to Miss Fury in the time keeper’s area which leaves Thunder Knuckles, Chris Page, and Robert Main in the ring. Thunder Knuckles calls for the bell.
Apex is barred from ringside. Any interference results in an automatic DQ for Robert Main.
Thunder Knuckles is the official referee. Miss Fury is the timekeeper. Andre Dixon is the match enforcer. Bobby Bourbon Special Ring Announcer
Universal Title RP Rules
HHL: The match that we have all been waiting for! It is CHRIS PAGE and ROBERT MAIN!
Main and Page stare across the ring from each other as Chris smirks at Main. The two start walk out towards the center of the ring, circling each other, they look to lock up before Page steps back calling Thunder Knuckles over where he spouts out.
” Check him.”
Page states as he points at Robert. Thunder Knuckles turns his attention towards Robert before walking over demanding Main hold his arms out. The crowd roars with boos as Main and Thunder Knuckles engage in words before Main flips off Thunder Knuckles to a roar from the crowd. The cheers divert back to boos Thunder Knuckles jumps up in Robert’s face pointing at the stripes on his shirt before demanding to check Robert for weapons or he will call the match off.
Pip: Robert better pick and choose his battles here.
Robert holds his arms out as Thunder Knuckles checks his elbow pads, waist band, down the front of the legs to his boots to find no hidden objects. Thunder Knuckles stands back up and signals for the two to lock up. Robert calls for Thunder Knuckles to check Chris Page.
HHL: Check the champion out too!
Thunder Knuckles turns towards Page and walks forward. He just looks Page over before turning and signaling for them to lock up to massive boos from the crowd.
HHL: He did not even check him!
Page comes out from his corner where he and Robert circle each other before finally locking up center ring to a huge eruption from the crowd! They jockey for position before Main uses his size to takes Page back into a corner but before he can capitalize Thunder Knuckles lays a fast count to Main causing Robert to break and back away quickly. Page turns towards Thunder Knuckles where he calls out that Robert pulled his hair! The crowd boos intently as Thunder Knuckles admonishes Main for pulling Page’s hair which clearly did not happen.
Main rolls his eyes at Thunder Knuckles before flipping off Chris Page gaining a pop from the crowd.
Pip: The disrespectful nature of Robert Main is on full display.
Page shakes off Robert as he comes out from the corner. They circle each other once again before locking up center ring. Main latches on to a side headlock on the Universal Champion before being backed up against the ropes, Page fires Main across the ring with an Irish Whip, Main bounces off the near side where he smashes into Page with a running shoulder block that rocks Page back several feet towards the ropes, Page bounces off the ropes looking for a clothesline, Robert ducks and as Page spins around Robert rears back for a right hand where his arm is caught by Thunder Knuckles!
Thunder Knuckles spins Main around warning him on using the closed fist.
The distraction allows Page to come up from behind and as Robert spins back around Page thumbs him in the eyes! Chris tees off with a series of right hands before booting Main in the midsection before looking to end things quick with a Page Plant! Main counters with a double leg take down before jumping down on top of Page in a full mount where he starts unloading with a flurry of right hands!!
HHL: Main is getting him some of Chris Page!
Main breaks out into a double handed choke as Thunder Knuckles lays an extremely fast count causing Robert to break the choke only to go right back to it! Another fast count from Thunder Knuckles causes another break from Main who gets back to his feet where Thunder Knuckles jumps in his face before threatening disqualification. Main throws up both hands as Thunder Knuckles inserts his will while Page rolls out to the floor.
Pip: Main is lucky this match is still continuing after antics like that!
Robert drops down the mat and rolls out to the floor where he comes around the ring behind Page snatching him by the hair before turning him around where he sends him crashing into the steel steps! Thunder Knuckles lays the count to Robert Main who rolls back into the ring and then right back out to the floor. He picks Page up as Andre Dixon looms around the side of the ring.
Main takes Page and hurls him back into the ring and as he does he catches Dixon out of the corner of his eye who comes around the ring. Thunder Knuckles watches as Dre comes forward and before he clothesline Main we see Thunder Knuckles drop to one knee checking on Chris Page which allows Dixon to steam roll Main with a clothesline! Andre picks Main up off the floor where he drives him lower back first into the ring apron! He pulls him forward then drives him lower back first into the ring apron a second time and then a third time before hurling him back into the ring .
Thunder Knuckles stands back up seeing Main on the mat. He looks out at Dixon asking him what happened only to have Andre throw up both hands in the air to massive boos from the crowd.
HHL: This is nothing more than a glorified handicap match.
Page works his way back up to his feet where he picks Main up off the mat. He snatches him by the long beard with his left and before hammering away with stiff, hard right hands to the right temple of Main; site of the cracked skull! He yanks Robert forward by the beard cracking him with a harder right hand! Once again he yanks Main forward by the beard into a reverse elbow taking Main to the mat.
The crowd erupts with boos as Chris Page throws his arms up in the air.
Page picks Main up off the mat where he laces him across the chest with a knife edge chop! He delivers a second before backing Robert up into a neutral corner where he starts driving a series of shoulder blocks before hurling Robert across the ring and into the opposite set of buckles! Page charges across the ring with a full head of steam looking to drive Main back into the buckles with a clothesline! Main side steps Page sending him crashing sternum first off the buckles! Page staggers backwards as he turns around and walks into a boot to the midsection for Main that doubles Page over for The Omega to deliver a Buckle Bomb to CCP!
Page bounces off the buckles landing on his feet where he staggers forward into a grasp of Main with his right hand around the throat! Robert hoists Page up in the air before driving him down into the canvas with a thunder chokeslam! Robert drops down into the cover! Thunder Knuckles takes his time in getting into position to make a count.
1!!
2!!
… Kick out.
The crowd erupts with boos at the very slow count from Thunder Knuckles as he gets back to his feet followed by Main who immediately takes notice of the slower count before shifting his attention back towards Page. He walks over where he picks Page up off the mat where he takes the Champion back into the ropes before sending him over the top rope and out to the floor with a clothesline! Robert turns his attention towards Thunder Knuckles before turning back and stepping out to the ring apron where he drops down to the floor and as he approached Page we see Andre Dixon come around the ring where he and Main lock eyes.
HHL: What is going to happen here?
Andre steps away as Main comes forward where he reaches down picking Page up off the floor where he is met with a low blow from Chris Page! The crowd erupts with boos as Andre makes his way towards Miss Fury and Bobby Bourbon where he is handed a chair by Bobby. Dixon brings the chair back over where he hands it to Chris as he reaches his feet. Robert pushes himself up to all fours on the floor where Page cracks him across the back with the steel chair shot.
HHL: That is a Disqualification!
Thunder Knuckles motions for Bobby Bourbon who leaves the time keepers area and heads towards the ring apron. Thunder Knuckles leans through the ropes where he whispers something into Bobby’s ear which brings the announcement.
Bobby Bourbon: Ladies and Gentleman I have just been informed by Referee Thunder Knuckles that this match is now a NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH for CHRIS PAGE ONLY.
The announcement garners massively loud boos as Chris drives the chair into the back of Main a second time and then a third time before tossing the chair into the ring under the bottom rope. Page reaches down picking Robert up off the floor where he shoots him towards Dixon who drills Main with a clothesline from hell! Page slides back into the ring as Andre picks up Main and hurls him back into the ring. Page picks up the steel chair as he waits patiently for Robert who starts to push himself up off the mat and as he does he turns around and is drilled with a vicious chair shot to the skull that echoes throughout the moon base that busts open Robert Main! Main crashes down to the mat as we see Page toss the chair back down to the mat. Page drops down making a cover.
1!!
2!!
THRE…
Main kicks out of the near fall to a pop from the crowd. Page immediately takes a mount position and starts hammering down with right hands to the bloody forehead of Robert Main! Each shot is harder than the one previous. Every shot leaves Robert’s blood on Page’s fist and as he gets back to his feet where he rubs Robert’s blood across his upper chest.
Pip: Page has just smeared Robert’s blood across his chest like the damn warrior he is.
Chris reaches down picking Robert up off the mat where he drives him back into a neutral corner. Page laces Main across the chest with a stiff knife edge chop before hoisting a bloody Main up to a seated position on the top turnbuckle. Page steps up to the middle rope where he sets up for a Superplex. Page attempts to deliver the Superplex, Robert latches on to the top rope blocking the attempt to a pop from the crowd. Page attempts a second and again Robert blocks and counters with right fists to the ribs before shoving Page backwards sending him free falling down to the canvas!
Robert wipes blood away from his face as he steps up to the top turnbuckle and sets sail with an ICE PICK elbow drop into the sternum of Page! Main manages to make the cover on the Universal Champion.
1!!
2!!
THRE…
Page pops a shoulder up off the mat to loud boos from the crowd at the noticeably slower count from Thunder Knuckles. Robert reaches both knee looking over at Thunder Knuckles before getting to one knee and then stepping up to his feet. His eyes shifts towards the steel chair that is laying on the mat. The crowd erupts as Robert reaches down picking up the steel chair. Thunder Knuckles immediately gets in Robert’s face threatening Disqualification as he uses the chair.
Robert blows past Thunder Knuckles where he measures Page who is starting to get back to his feet. Robert raises the chair back over his head where Thunder Knuckles yanks it from his grasp! Main spins around as Thunder Knuckles throws the chair down to the mat as he jumps back in Main’s face exercising his authority.
Page is able to get back to his feet where he comes up behind Main latching on to a back waist lock. Page delivers a German Suplex, he holds his grasp and rolls through picking both himself and Main up off the mat where he delivers a second German Suplex, Page does not release his grasp on Main as he rolls through picking himself and Main up off the mat where he delivers a third German Suplex with a Bridge!
1!!
2!!
THRE…
Main kicks out of the near fall to a roar from the crowd. Page rolls out to the floor where he tosses the ring apron back before pulling out a table. Chris starts to set the table up on the floor before he climbs back up on the ring apron while in the ring Robert is shown working his way back to his feet. Chris shifts his attention towards the crowd where he has words with several ringside fans which allows Main to get back up and rush towards Page. Chris turns back around towards the ring where Main drives a running boot to the face of Page sending Page sailing backwards and crashing through the table he just set up!
HHL: The table has just backfired on Chris Page!
Thunder Knuckles appears to be confused as he contemplates calling for the bell. Main bypasses Thunder Knuckles where he rolls out to the floor. Page lays in the rubble of the table where Main picks him up. In the ring Thunder Knuckles starts to count out Main. Robert takes Page and sends him bouncing face first off the ring post! The fast count from Thunder Knuckles hits eight before Main slides back into the ring while Andre Dixon checks on Chris Page who is laid out on the floor.
Robert cuts his eyes towards Thunder Knuckles who has stopped counting and calls over Bobby Bourbon. Bobby leaves the time keepers area where he walks up to the ring apron. Thunder Knuckles leans through the ropes where he starts to whisper to Bourbon a second time.
Bobby Bourbon: Ladies and Gentleman I have just been informed that this match is also a NO COUNTOUT MATCH for Chris Page.
The crowd boos intently at the announcement made by Bobby Bourbon.
HHL: This is getting stupid. CCP cannot be counted out, he cannot be disqualified. This is a bad situation for Robert Main to be involved in.
Pip: Do not get pissy because CCP is putting the screws to Robert Main when Robert Main has put the screws to a plethora of people himself.
Robert simply shakes his head as we see Dixon helping Page up off the floor. Main rolls out to the floor where he comes up behind Dixon blasting him from behind sending him crashing into Page which sends Page crashing into the security railing to a thunderous ovation from the crowd! Main steps over Dixon and snatches Page by the hair where he hurls him back into the ring!
Main slides in after Page where he gets to his feet and backs up into a neutral corner as Page is shown working his way back to his feet. Main charges forward with a full head of steam where he cuts Page in half with a Spear to a roar from the crowd! A bloody Main gets back to his feet where he delivers a standing moonsault! Main has the cover.
1!!
2!!
THRE…
Page kicks out before Thunder Knuckles three count can be made!
Pip: Main cannot keep the Champion down.
HHL: Naturally it helps if the official is in your back pocket.
Robert starts to work his way back up to his feet where he once again confronts Thunder Knuckles on the cadence of his count. Thunder Knuckles fires back verbally before Main flips him off to a massive ovation from the crowd. Main turns his attention back towards Page who is starting to work his way back to a vertical base. Main sizes up Page where he comes up from behind taking him up in position for the Dead Man’s Hand!
Thunder Knuckles comes up behind Robert where he pulls Page’s feet down bringing Chris back down to the mat where he catches Main with a Code Breaker! Chris crawls into a cover hooking the near leg.
1!!
2!!
THRE…
Main kicks out of the faster count from Thunder Knuckles to another roar from the crowd. Chris starts to work his way back to his feet. He reaches down to the mat picking Robert up by the hair before pulling him into a front face lock where he under hooks the right leg before hoisting Main up into the air and crashing down into the mat with a Hangman’s DDT!
Pip: I love watching Robert Main suffer at the hands of Chris Page.
Chris Page rolls out to the ring apron where he uses the ropes to pull himself up to his feet. He makes his way over to the nearest set of turnbuckles where he starts to climb up to the top turnbuckle. Page sizes up as he stands on the top turnbuckle where he sets sail delivering a Diving Headbut to Main! Page makes a cover hooking the near leg.
1!!
2!!
THRE…
Main kicks out to a thunderous ovation from the crowd!
HHL: Main continues to dig down deep in a match built to screw him over.
Pip: Just like Main has screwed over so many others.
Page starts to get back to his feet where he picks Main up off the mat. Page takes Main back into a neutral corner where he shoots him across the ring and into the opposite set of buckles. Page charges in after Main where he eats a reverse elbow to the jaw! Main comes out of the corner where he delivers a T-Bone Suplex into the turnbuckles to Page!
The crowd responds as Page is folded up against the turnbuckles!
Thunder Knuckles starts to lay the count to Robert Main only. He reaches the six count before Main gets to both knees and pulls Page out towards the center of the ring where another cover is made.
1!!
2!!
THRE..
Page pops a shoulder up off the mat to massive boos from the crowd.
HHL: Color me surprised, another slow count.
Pip: I see you have jumped all over the excuse train.
Robert starts to get back to his feet where he reaches down picking Page up off the mat. Robert locks in a Full Nelson before delivering a Full Nelson Slam to Page! The crowd roars loudly as Main starts to amp himself up as Page starts to get to his feet where he clutches at his lower back. Main comes up from behind where he takes Page up in the air looking to deliver the Dead Man’s Hand!
The crowd erupts into massive boos as Thunder Knuckles low blows Main from behind!
Main crumbles down to the mat with Page landing on the mat behind him. Chris starts to get back to his feet where he sizes Main up. The crowd boos intently as Page waits for Main to start pulling himself up to his feet where he is met with the Judas Effect from Page! Main crumbles to the mat with Page falling on top of him making the cover.
1!!
2!!
THRE…
Main kicks out to another massive ovation from the crowd! Page reaches both knees as he cuts his eyes towards Andre Dixon, he gives him a head nod and with that sees Andre toss the ring apron back where he pulls out a big black sack. He slides the sack into the ring as we see Page step up to his feet. Chris walks over where he unties the black sack and empties the contents onto the mat. Thousands of thumbtacks fall down onto the canvas.
HHL: This is going way too far.
Chris turns his attention back towards Robert as the bloody Main who lays on the mat. Chris walks over where he reaches down snatching up Main by the hair. Chris backs up towards the thumbtacks that are all over the mat in a section of the ring. Page locks in a front face lock. Chris is thinking suplex and Main blocks, he hammers away with repeated shots to the ribs of Page which breaks the front face lock and allows Main to take a double handed Choke!
The crowd explodes as Main hoists Page up in the air before driving him down into the Thumbtacks with a double handed chokeslam!
PIP: DISQUALIFY HIM!
Thunder Knuckles attempts to ring the bell only to have Main grab his before he can call for it! Main spins Thunder Knuckles around, Andre Dixon hits the ring behind Main where he spins Main around before hoisting him up in the air before driving Main down into the mat with a Deadly Force Spinbuster!
Dixon drags Page and puts him on top of Main!
1!!
2!!
THRE….
Main pops a shoulder off the mat to another massive ovation from the crowd as Dixon slides out to the floor. Page and Main are laid out as we see Thunder Knuckles get to his feet where he starts to lay the count to Robert Main. At the six count Main begins to stir as does Page. They begin to reach their feet at the eight count. Page swings with a right hand, Main blocks and counters with a right hand, he lands a second and then a third before Main takes Page and hurls him into a neutral corner. Main charges in after Page where he looks to deliver a Body Splash into the corner, Page side steps Main sending him crashing sternum first into the buckles. He rolls Main up with a School Boy where he pulls the tights and gets both feet on the ropes!
1!!
2!!
3!!
WINNER AND STILL XWF UNIVERSAL CHAMPION: “CHRONIC” CHRIS PAGE
Bobby Bourbon: YOU WINNER.. AND STILL XWF UNIVERSAL CHAMPION… “CHRONIC” CHRIS PAGE!
Pip: PAGE RETAINS!
Bobby tosses the microphone as Dixon and Miss Fury hit the ring followed by Bourbon! BOB begins to pounce on Robert Main! Dixon picks up Main before hurling him towards Bobby! Bobby drives a boot to the midsection before hoisting up Main for Them No Good Bastards to deliver the RAINBOW LASER DEATH SEQUENCE!
Page rolls out to the floor, thumbtacks in his back.
He tosses the ring apron back where he retrieves a black baseball bat.
HHL: The baseball bat!
Pip: Page said he was going to make sure the Moon is the last place we would see Robert Main.
Page slides back into the ring where we see Dixon and Bourbon holding a bloody Main on down on both knees….
The crowd erupts as JIM CAEDUS and DREW ARCHYLE walk out to the top of the ramp as the heads of Page, Dixon, Fury and Them No Good Bastards look up to see the members of Apex. Page calls them out with the bat to see Jim raise a finger. As he does the music stops, the lights go dark…..
The lights come back up where standing next to Apex are……
HHL: THAT’S LEGACY WITH APEX! BESTY GRANGER! SHAWN WARSTEIN! AND JAMES RAVEN ARE HERE WITH APEX!
Pip: The SHIT has just hit the fan!
The crowd is on fire as BOB tosses a beaten and bloody Robert Main to the side as they call out APEX and LEGACY! We see Jim, Drew, Shawn, Betsy and Raven all look at each other before nodding their heads and charge the ring to an even louder ovation!
APEX-LEGACY all hit the ring with Granger and Fury pairing off! Warstein and Thunder Knuckles pair off, Bourbon and Caedus pair off, Dixon and Raven pair off as well as Archyle and Page! It is an all out war on the mother fucking moon!
Bourbon and Caedus spill out to the floor where Caedus gains the upper hand as he smashes Bourbon face first off the announcers table before ripping his tuxedo jacket off! Bourbon swings at Jim but it is blocked and countered with a series of right hands! In the ring Dixon and Raven are trading shot after shot after shot before Dixon charges towards Raven for a clothesline from hell only to see Raven duck and as Dixon spins around he is taken out with a FLIGHT OF THE RAVEN!
Drew has both hands around the throat of Page as he takes him back into a neutral corner!
Miss Fury gets the upper hand on Betsy where she looks for a Judas Effect Elbow strike that Betsy ducks out of the way of before laying Miss Fury out with Ich Muss Dich Brechen!
HHL: For the first time BOB is at the numbers disadvantage and this combination of APEX and LEGACY have taken over!
Page gouges Drew in the eyes to create some distance while Thunder Knuckles hammers away on Warstein! Raven comes up behind Thunder Knuckles spinning him around and as he does Warstein latches on to Thunder Knuckles arms for Raven to open up with rights and lefts to the exposed midsection while out on the floor Bobby Bourbon has taken control on Caedus and sets him up for a BOBBY BOMB!
Caedus counters with a back body drop sending Bobby Bourbon crashing through the announcers table!
Page takes Drew down with a double leg take down and starts hammering away with right hands! Betsy is right there to pull Page off Drew by the hair! Raven slaps Thunder Knuckles across the face before Shawn spins him around and plants him with a Double Arm DDT!
Pip: Talk about hypocritical! They bitch about numbers game only to expose a numbers game. What a joke.
Page shoves away from Betsy as he squares off with her not realizing that he is now surrounded. Betsy giggles at Chris, and now Chris starts to slowly turn around to see Shawn Warstein, James Raven, Drew Archyle, Jim Caedus… and Robert Main!
Main immediately decks Page with a right hand sending him spinning towards Drew who decks Page sending him spinning towards Betsy who decks him sending him towards Raven who decks him sending him towards Caedus who levels Page sending him back towards Main who drops Page with a huge right hand to the roar from the crowd!
HHL: Talk about getting served a dose of your own medicine! You might not like it Pip, but I am loving this!
Page starts to push himself up off the mat as we see Warstein back up into a neutral corner before charging forward blasting Page with a running knee strike to the face! Caedus reaches down picking Page up off the mat where he sets up Page and delivers the NAIL DRIVER!
Pip: This is not right on so many levels!
The crowd is on fire for Main who reaches down picking Page up off the mat where he takes him up in a Torture Rack position! He stares towards the hard camera before letting out a massive primal scream before FINALLY delivering the DEAD MANS HAND to a roar from the crowd!
HHL: Apex and Legacy have left BOB laying! Chris Page might be leaving with the Universal Championship but at what ultimate cost?!
Main, Caedus, Archyle, Granger, Warstein and Raven look at the destruction in and around the ring as we see them all start to exit the ring. Main and company back track up the ramp as Page is laid out in the center of the ring.
Flames shoot up from the stage, causing Apex and Legacy to halt in their tracks.
HHL: Watch out! We might have another one of the technical issues on our hands here. We’ve had a few of them all night, I’m sure we’ll get it resolved soon.
Pip: Screw the oxygen, let the fire take these thugs!
Authorities come rushing out to the stage and get to work, extinguishing the flames and making a pathway for Apex and Legacy to get to the stage. At the top they spread across the stage with their arms raised in the air. The crowd roars in appreciation.
HHL: Finally, someone gave B.O.B. a taste of their own medicine!
Fire shoots from the corners of the ring, around where CCP’s prone body lies.
Pip: Oh crap!
HHL: Now, you’re worried?
Pip: Now I’m at risk! And so is the champ!
The officials from the stage rush down the ramp with their fire extinguishers in hand. Letting loose on the flames, they do what they can to douse them. Still, Chris Page doesn’t rouse.
The camera cuts to planet Earth. Taco the pig grunts as he scratches his butt against a pole outside what we presume is Vinnie Lane’s home.
Taco looks up to the moon.
Elsewhere…
A massive solar flare shoots out from the sun.
A burst of fire shoots across the night sky above Taco, straight towards the moon.
The flame engulfs it.
Back on the moon…
Pip: Again?!?
HHL: This doesn’t seem right…
Everything’s on fire.
Behind Apex and Legacy, there’s a wall of it.
And inside…
A man emerges.
The crowd explodes as Alias steps out of the fire.
HHL: OH MY GOD! IS THIS REAL?!
Pip: I thought we saw him burn alive?!
He steps forward to meet those gathered on the stage. Robert Main, showing the signs of his battle, steps forward as well. The two men lock eyes. No nods are shared, not this time, but Alias moves on down the line.
James Raven.
Shawn Warstein.
Drew Archyle.
Jim Caedus.
Betsy Granger.
He locks eyes with them all, but says nothing.
He moves on. Down the ramp. A briefcase is in his hand.
PIP: Not like this!
HHL: Is it…? Is it happening?
The bodies of the fallen B.O.B. members lay around the ring. Slowly, he stalks them, stopping to assess them for signs of life.
Bobby Bourbon.
Andre Dixon.
Thunder Knuckles.
Miss Fury.
He climbs in the ring...
Chris Page.
Head referee Chaz Bobo is there, having helped to try and battle the flames.
Alias stands, near motionless in the ring, staring at where Page’s body lies. He approaches, and grabbing Page by the throat, yanks him to his feet. Alias throws Page against the turnbuckle, to which Page collapses against.
He raises his gloved hand. He slides the glove off revealing the burned flesh underneath.
Pip: That’s disgusting!
With his last bit of energy, Page staggers out of the corner, and Alias forces his hand down Page’s throat.
HHL: EAT THE RIGHT HAND!
The force of the thrust combines with the pressure of the nerve hold and saps whatever will Page had been trying to muster.
He collapses to the mat.
The crowd sings along in unison.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
WINNER AND NEW XWF UNIVERSAL CHAMPION: ALIAS
Pip: This is all Robert Main’s fault!
HHL: Shut up, Pip! WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION!
Flames explode from fucking everywhere.
The moon is on fire!
Bobo hands Alias the Universal Championship. With bodies laying everywhere, Alias stands atop the mountain. As the final camera shot begins to fade to black, he raises the championship, not into the sky but into space!
Que será, será.
JOIN US ON SUNDAY AUGUST 1ST....
LIVE FROM BETHEL WOODS NEW YORK...
SITE OF THE OG WOODSTOCK...
FOR...
As the War Games image begins to fade from the screen we hear some thumps along with the sound of snapping wood followed by a bunch of screams and finally a THUNDEROUS THUD before an awkward silence...
As the scene transitions to a live look at the venue for tonight's events we see that the walls have all collapsed revealing nothing more than the XWF's wrestling ring and a vast empty space of what appears to be an empty warehouse...
Opps....
A Big Thank You To The Following Match Writers
BigD
Vinnie Lane
Dolly Waters
Alias
Betsy Granger
Finn Kuhn
Demos
Marf
Thaddeus Duke
Chris Page
And all of you who rp'd and submitted segments. You made this show fantastic.
I'M FUCKING SCREAMING RIGHT NOW!!! Congrats to the champs, new and retained! What a fucking show!! Well done to everyone, this one had me on the edge of my seat with every word!!
1x XWF Universal Champion || 3x XWF Xtreme Champion || 1x XWF Supercontinental Champion (First)
1x XWF Hart Champion (Last) || 2x XWF Television Champion || 1x XWF Tag Team Champion
1x OCW Savage Champion || 1x IIW Tag Team Champion || 1x AAW United States Champion
2x SOTM (9/20, 7/21) || 2021 Male Wrestler of the Year || XWF Hall of Legends
AMAZING show! The Leap of Faith is definitely one of the most entertaining funny af matches I've ever read. Kickass job to all the match writers, seg writers and everyone who RPd. Congrats to the new and retaining champs!
Shout out to Gator/Noah Jackson for this kickass banner
~XWF ALL TIME TOP 50 - #6!!!! <3
~Efed Podcast Top 100 - #74 w/no Twitter (all credit to you, fam, 🙏 <3)
~XWF UNIVERSAL CHAMPION - 2x
~XWF XTREME CHAMPION - 2x
~XWF TAG TEAM CHAMPION w/Chaos then Engy, w/APEX x2 - 3x
~XWF 24/7 Briefcase - 3x
~XWF Trio Tag Champion w/Ax3 - 1x
~XWF Television Champion - 1x (undefeated)
~XWF Federweight Champion - 2x
~XWF Triple Title Holder - 1x (TV, Federweight & 24/7 case)
~XWF Double Title Holder - 5x (TV/Fedr, Uni/Trio, Tag/24/7, X/24/7 & Uni/Tag)
~XWF 2017 Lethal Lottery IV Tournament winner!!
~XWF 2017 Leap of Faith Rafter Match winner!!
~XWF 2017 2nd Annual Doc D'Ville Shove-It Rumble Co-Winner w/Chaos!!
~XWF 2017 War Games Co-Winner with Rob Main & Drew Archyle as APEX!!
~XWF Feb. 2017 J. Federweight Scramble Winner!!
~XWF January 2017 RP of the Month!! - "Like a Moth to the Flame"
~XWF February 2017 Star of the Month!!
~XWF March 2017 3-Way Star of the Month!!
~XWF September 2017 RP of the Month!! - "Lions & Tigers & Caedus, Oh Shit"
~XWF July 2021 QOTM!! - line from "Took It All"
~XWF October 2021 RP of the Month!! - "This Just In" audio
~XWF November 2021 Star of the Month!! (3rd time!!!!!!)
~XWF Match of the Year 2021 w/Bourbsy!! - X-Treme, Flynn's Audio Shove-It
---Love Me, Like Me, Hate Me. No Worries---
Gator's Archive💙
In Loving Memory of Captain Dick Powers
Gravy's Archive💙
Shout out to Gravy for these kickass banners
Big ups to everyone for this amazin turnover for this PPV, win or lose don't mean ish to me, everyone across the board did so well. I hope when the next PPV comes, we going in full steam baby!
We go backstage and see Them No Good Bastards, both looking much worse for the wear after the hell they went through in one night. Between their match, a beatdown by EXP, then a beatdown by Apex Legacy, it's a miracle they're conscious. TK has a medic flashing a light in his eyes. Bobby lets out a little chuckle.
What?
EXP are fucking toast
Bobby coughs and spits out a wad of blood.
That ain't good.
Bobby smiles, his teeth deep crimson.
As always, it was an honor and a privilege working with you, Mr. Knuckles. Heh. Not gonna lie, though, besides working with you, you know why I joined the Brotherhood of Badasses?
XWF FanBase: The IWC (gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)
XWF Roster Page
Joined: Sat Oct 24 2020
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184 X-Bux: ✘41,372
Congratulations Alias. Have as much fun with it as I did, and to all the winners congratulations! This was an epic show the entire way around... even if it was on a sound stage.
- HALL OF LEGENDS 2019
- 2019 Heel of the Year
- 2019 Locker Room Leader of the Year
- 2019 Feud of the Year w. Robert Main (you’re welcome)
- Former
With Robert "The Omega" Main
XWF World Heavyweight Champion
![[-]](https://xwf99.com/images/portal2/collapse.gif)
The following 24 users Like Theo Pryce's post:
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Federweight Scramble Winner!!![[Image: KlXZwFe.png]](https://i.imgur.com/KlXZwFe.png)
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