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X-treme Wrestling Federation » XWF OOC » Out Of Character (OOC) Board
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Feedback wanted! Could use some oil in my training wheels
Author Message
Prince Adeyemi Offline
The Heir Apparent


XWF FanBase:
Traditionalists
(has an old school wrestling mentality; no nonsense; less appealing to some younger fans)
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Joined: Sun Aug 14 2022
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#1
10-14-2022, 11:38 PM

1. A King's Address - Open Call
2. A Kingdom at Hand - vs Finn Kuhn Warfare
3. Who are you?  - vs Angelica Vaughn Savage
4. Striving to Perfection - Vs Gravy vs HGH Savage TV Title 1
5. Who I Am.  - vs Gravy vs HGH Savage TV Title 2
6. Weight on my shoulder - vs JM Jnr 1
7. Why do you fight? - vs Tommy Wish
8. Reduced expectations. - vs JM Jnr 2

Hey y'all!! Appreciate your feedback, gonna keep this thread as updated as I can with my ongoing RPs, glad to take feedback for any of them, please lemme know where I can improve - some honest brutality is always good. 

Reading through some of you guys' work has me very excited to go up against some of these names.
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Mark Flynn (10-24-2022)
Prince Adeyemi Offline
The Heir Apparent


XWF FanBase:
Traditionalists
(has an old school wrestling mentality; no nonsense; less appealing to some younger fans)
 XWF Roster Page
Joined: Sun Aug 14 2022
Posts: 139
0
Likes Given: 275
Likes Received: 250 in 105 posts
Hates Given: 4
Hates Received: 2 in 2 posts
Hates Given: 4
Hates Received: 2 in 2 posts
Reputation: 29
X-Bux: ✘0
#2
10-22-2022, 06:58 PM

Bump Smile
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Mark Flynn (10-24-2022)
Mark Flynn Offline
Champions get their name in red!


XWF FanBase:
The IWC
(gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)
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#3
10-24-2022, 06:54 AM

Taking a look, one sec...

EDIT: Okay, finished reading.

Solid stuff. The Trash Talk is consistent in its messaging, which makes me feel like Isaiah is laser-focused on his goal. I also like the repetition of the 'I am an heir' point. In a world of an inflated egos, it's interesting to see a character who believes there time is approaching, but not here yet. I'm interested to see what role the Isaiah King Corporation plays in Isaiah's story going forward.
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Dolly Waters (10-24-2022), Prince Adeyemi (10-24-2022)
Prince Adeyemi Offline
The Heir Apparent


XWF FanBase:
Traditionalists
(has an old school wrestling mentality; no nonsense; less appealing to some younger fans)
 XWF Roster Page
Joined: Sun Aug 14 2022
Posts: 139
0
Likes Given: 275
Likes Received: 250 in 105 posts
Hates Given: 4
Hates Received: 2 in 2 posts
Hates Given: 4
Hates Received: 2 in 2 posts
Reputation: 29
X-Bux: ✘0
#4
10-25-2022, 09:09 AM

(10-24-2022, 06:54 AM)Mark Flynn Said: Taking a look, one sec...

EDIT: Okay, finished reading.

Solid stuff. The Trash Talk is consistent in its messaging, which makes me feel like Isaiah is laser-focused on his goal. I also like the repetition of the 'I am an heir' point. In a world of an inflated egos, it's interesting to see a character who believes there time is approaching, but not here yet. I'm interested to see what role the Isaiah King Corporation plays in Isaiah's story going forward.

Personally a big fan of Macho Man and Bray's work on the mic over the years, not sure if those inspirations are clear. Macho was always wonderful at repetition, and having a clear, consistent idea in his promos even if he was coked out of his mind. Bray has a slightly more eerie unpredictability about him, making you believe one thing all the way to the end of a promo or series of promos before you realise what his point really is. 

I think balancing the two out, being consistent while aloof enough to be entertaining throughout a promo is what I'm tying to master.
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Mark Flynn (10-25-2022)
Prince Adeyemi Offline
The Heir Apparent


XWF FanBase:
Traditionalists
(has an old school wrestling mentality; no nonsense; less appealing to some younger fans)
 XWF Roster Page
Joined: Sun Aug 14 2022
Posts: 139
0
Likes Given: 275
Likes Received: 250 in 105 posts
Hates Given: 4
Hates Received: 2 in 2 posts
Hates Given: 4
Hates Received: 2 in 2 posts
Reputation: 29
X-Bux: ✘0
#5
11-12-2022, 04:18 AM

A quick ol' bump Smile Appreciate you guys' time!
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