I enjoyed the visuals interspersed with the narrative, as well as the voice of the writing.

Pretty intriguing stuff, I'm looking forward to the backstory as well as seeing Bear interact with other characters.

Thanks. Yup im rolling out the intrigue first. Lol laying it on thick, maybe too much

I did all of that on my cellphone

It's obvious you have a wide vocabulary and can use it well to describe scenes and character interactions. The pictures are also a nice touch and you use them in the right places to give a better visual to the reader.

I will make a suggestion that in your original post for this thread, that you mention something about wanting feedback. When I clicked on this post off the main page rather than a link that led me to the OOC sub forum first. I was unable to see your secondary subject line that was asking for feedback and initially got confused until I clicked back to the OOC sub forum and saw it.

(10-19-2016, 08:11 AM)Unknown Soldier Said: It's obvious you have a wide vocabulary and can use it well to describe scenes and character interactions. The pictures are also a nice touch and you use them in the right places to give a better visual to the reader.

I will make a suggestion that in your original post for this thread, that you mention something about wanting feedback. When I clicked on this post off the main page rather than a link that led me to the OOC sub forum first. I was unable to see your secondary subject line that was asking for feedback and initially got confused until I clicked back to the OOC sub forum and saw it.

I edited it and gave it the right prefix as well.

K. Just getting used to forum i guess... Bear with me (eh??? come on...)

(10-19-2016, 08:11 AM)Unknown Soldier Said: It's obvious you have a wide vocabulary and can use it well to describe scenes and character interactions. The pictures are also a nice touch and you use them in the right places to give a better visual to the reader.

I will make a suggestion that in your original post for this thread, that you mention something about wanting feedback. When I clicked on this post off the main page rather than a link that led me to the OOC sub forum first. I was unable to see your secondary subject line that was asking for feedback and initially got confused until I clicked back to the OOC sub forum and saw it.

Thank you sir.