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The Monster of Htaed · (09-24-2016)

The scene opens up backstage, employees of the XWF scurrying about like little ants in an ant farm, some wrestlers wandering the halls, waiting for Savage Saturday Night, to go live. When suddenly the camera focuses on a man in a Barney costume, you know the big purple gay dinosaur that kids fell in love with in the nineties. The Barney impersonator is skipping around humming tunes and trying to spread good vibes throughout the backstage area. When suddenly he stops in his tracks and begins staring at something, the camera turns to shoot what the man dressed in a purple dinosaur costume is fascinated with. It is none other than Xtreme Champion Unknown Soldier with his back to the man in costume.

The Barney impersonator begins walking toward Unknown Soldier grabbing a folding steel chair on the way, collapsing it and raising it in the air by all four legs collapsed into what would look like only two. The Barney impersonator starts to pick up speed going from walking to a jog, not running too fast wanting to have the element of surprise. When he gets close the man begins to sing a remixed version of the closing song from the characters show he has dressed up as.

"I love you, you love me, we are one big hardcore family!"

Unknown Soldier turns to see what the hell is going on, the Barney impersonator swings the chair with an overhead connection to the top of Unknown Soldier's dome, which sends him stumbling into the hallway wall. The Barney impersonator then adjust his grip on the chair and goes in attempting to slam the folder chair into Unknown Soldier's throat, only to be invaded. Unknown Soldier still a little dazed connects with a side kick to the man in the Barney suit's outer left knee, almost buckling the manasaurus rex, Unknown Soldier shakes the cobwebs out and begins reaching for the steel chair his assailant dropped after being kicked. Before his hands grasp the chair the dinosaurs foot connects to the side of Unknown Soldier sending him tumbling into the wall face first busting his eyebrow open. Unknown Soldier just smiles and quickly jumps back almost jumping on top of the dinosaur dressed man, legs straddling the dinosaurs hips, Unknown Soldier wastes no time and begins pummeling the head of the costume with hard lefts and rights, one after another.

The two men after about ten blows from each hand tumble over crashing hard to the cement floor, Unknown Soldier is now in full mount on the awkwardly large chest of the costume. Quickly he grabs the throat of the costume and begins to try and choke the life out of the unknown man. Realizing he can't get to his air pipe he begins trying to rip the mask off of the man. As the head comes off, the man quickly punches Unknown Soldier in the nuts. The camera focuses on the dinosaur dressed man's face, it is none other than Bearded War Pig, who has a sickening grin. Bearded War Pig quickly punches Unknown Soldier in the nuts again and pushes him off to the side. Quickly B.W.P climbs to his feet with all the costume on besides the head, he begins stomping a mudhole in Unknown Soldier while he taunts and screams profanity toward Unknown Soldier who is attempting to cover up from boot after boot.

Bearded War Pig now grabs the steel chair and with all his anger and strength, he begins to smash the chair into Unknown Soldier who is still on the cement floor attempting to cover his head from any damage. Bearded War Pig is just slamming the chair too hard as it collapses Unknown Soldiers arms and connects to his skull. Bearded War Pig then tosses the steel chair on the ground and quickly lifts Unknown Soldier to his feet only to drop him back to the floor with a skull crushing DDT onto the already slightly dented steel chair. B.W.P then makes pin attempt.

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Unknown Soldier · **09-24-2016, 02:05 PM**

Soldier kicks out and doesn't bother to walk through every single god damn wrestling move to talk his way through the kick out phase. Here at the SATAN! headquarters we don't have time to walk through every single wrestling move like we were the Bleacher Report. Soldier just kicks out, he just does it with all his super badassery and everything Xtreme and such like he has been for the past five months. In fact, the super bad ass mega demi-demon uses all his mega SATAN! powers and reverses every single fucking hold, lock, move, chair shot, or any other basic kind of wrestling move or semi-hardcore bullshit affair that occurs in WWE with the flick of a wrist. That's right, Soldier can kick out of all this bullshit chair shot and drop kick and minor

wrestling maneuvers delivered by BWP with a mere half chub raised from his demon dick. A half chub, kind of like how you feel about the older version of Salma Hayek when you want to visualize masturbation. I mean, have you seen all the 'Grown Ups' movies? You know, the ones with all the fucking horrible jokes recycled in every single Adam Sandler movie ever made? Well, thankfully the sexy cougar mexican mamasita Salma Hayek was in those movies so you can at least disregard the horrible attempts at humor with her still rocking fifty year old set of tits! Yeah, sure, she used to be way way way WAY fucking hot back in the day and has kind of deteriorated with her old age, but it's still good enough to look at a recent picture of that woman and not get a half chub and get the job done. I mean, we all have to improvise at some point when your internet is disconnected and the only thing you can find in your house is a DVD of the first Grown Ups movie with Salma on the front cover and.......

WELL...

That's about enough of that!

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