Threaded Mode | Linear Mode

"The Wolf of Afghanistan" Joshua Schuler · (06-24-2017)

“Respect. Fuck! Pt. Two”

Continued from "Respect. Fuck!" Pt. One

Closing my laptop I slowly pass the vicious looking but harmless stuffed grizzly a prized trophy, which had earned me lots of respect from hunters alike. Once the grizzly bear was obviously respected amongst his domain. The key word there “was” until a new alpha came along with a more advanced brain and tools for skillful even flawless killing. Now the bear only gets respect out of admiration for what it once was, now just something amusing for my guest to look at and have an exhilarating conversation piece.

Slam!

Honk.

Beep! Beep!

Kensey’s obviously has exited her tracker and locked it, a habit from living in a crime-infested city. Here in Lake I leave my keys in the fucking ignition, slightly pulled out, of course, don’t need the stress over a dead battery. Nothing like the small stressors in life to really leave a shitty after taste in your mouth once finished with your favorite cereal. At least that is how it always works for me. Miniscule incidents seem to allow the shit to just start spewing over and that is when you lose your cool and everyone should know an uncool Marine could be very deconstructive for anyone and anything in its path. Just ask the majority of the Middle East and some of Africa.

Exiting my study into a wide dark hallway with a room straight across from the study doorway. That room usually stays empty and unappreciated for it is the guest room and those I have very few. Turning left my pace picks up as the howling and growling of what would seem to be killer dogs to a stranger but anyone cool knows they are big softies. Kind of like myself, that is until you decide to cross me or you are just a shitty human being who needs a good ass whoopin. Exiting the hallway into the open concept living room, dining area, and kitchen basically in the same room. The living area is furnished with custom made Michigan whitetail leather set: full-size couch, master recliner, reclining loveseat, and regular recliner. The stands are custom made Michigan whitetail bone and antler set: two small end stands for each chair, medium end stand for the loveseat, and a coffee table about eight inches in front of the full couch.

My two dogs Anubis a Chocolate Lab and Doberman mix, my big cuddly doofus and a true protector. Then Elle my German Sheppard mix, a rescued princess who always has to instill her dominance over other animals and people besides well duh her dad, me. Yes, two large breed dogs weighing over a combined weight of two hundred and thirty pounds. Anyone willing to take them for a walk earns my respect. May not sound the hardest but obviously, you've never met my dogs and exactly how excited they get, thanks to a free range lifestyle. Haha. Some may believe it is ridiculous but I'm free why shouldn't they be? That is when my own program came to bite me in the ass. They both had been so worked up from the early morning visitor they have yet to become accustomed to they decided to rip into my muck boots (big rubber boots for river fishing, trapping, and basically walking anywhere real sludgy or wet).

My head shakes left and right, while I chuckle a little at the sight of my children foaming at the mouth like rabid hellhounds. Luckily they stopped the loud ruckus once they spotted me, the little irritation that came from my muck boots most likely being ruined was engulfed with joy. The sight of Anubis' nub wagging at a thousand miles per hour and Elle's very human smile with her ears perked has a way of reversing bad emotions. Respectable tools for PTSD, though these specific dogs, companions have earned my respect far beyond young Thaddeus Duke could even comprehend the power of the word. Respect that only a handful of people have earned from me and those are men I've led, followed, and faced death in the eyes with. Almost getting lost in the power of life and nature, I quickly start toward the front door.

Thud.

Thud.

Elle released my left muck boot first followed by Anubis causing two loud thuds from dense thick rubber dropping on the custom oak floor. Of course, they are weathered and sealed so they can be mopped and polished yet forever looking like fresh cut boards of lumber while being sanitary. Leaping over Elle and Anubis, like a fucking track star doing hurdles I stick the landing. Swiftly and smooth like a TRUE PIMP my hand grasps the doorknob, twisting and pulling the door open, I greet my better half with a cheesy smile. She doesn't look the happiest, so I try a different route and switch from smile to kissy face. Kensey quickly blows past me through the doorway and into my home. Someone done fucked up apparently, hopefully, it wasn't me! My brows furrow as I step back inside the house leaving the sounds of birds chirping and critters scurrying outside as I close the bulletproof door. In the line of work, I use to do and now what the Motherfuckers are soon to begin one can never take too many precautions.

Kensey has made her way across the living room toward the kitchen, her juicy ass sways as she walks in short black yoga shorts. Her angry walk was best viewed from the rear. It just dawned on me, it is around five o'clock in the morning, so she could just be tired. I slightly thought to myself while using the majority of my brain to focus on that delicious petite yet juicy apple bottom booty. Almost popping out like it is trying to communicate with me and I know all it wants to say is, "Bite me, slap me, and ride me long and hard DADDY!" Unlike Thaddeus Duke, I will answer and fulfill the requests of the lady's ass, plus some. You know cherish it and respect it like it deserves. Anubis's cold and wet nose suddenly breaks and excites my sexual trance as it nudges the ole cock and balls through my black ranger shorts. Delayed from being slightly brain dead from the power of scrumptious bum diddly dum dum, my backhand meets Noobs' muzzle.

Eager for more mental teasing arousal, my eyes shift back upward toward the sexy goddess who is bending over in my kitchen rummaging through the fridge. Oh, maybe that is why no kiss or anything at my perfectly timed welcome home from work just seconds maybe a minute ago. Hungry? Eat a fucking SNICKER, bitch! Almost blurting out in childish laughter I quickly rub my schlong to avert disaster. Brushing past Elle and Noobs my feet carry me toward the woman I now badly want to take to the bedroom and make sweet, passionate, yet rough, and dangerous love to. Just as I am about to wrap my arms around the slender waist of snookums’ when her deceivingly powerful voice pierces my ear. Deceitful because of her small stature standing only four foot eleven inches and her tone only one decimal away from blowing my ear drums through my brain.

Kensey Kane: "I thought you said you were going to buy some cherry doctor pepper for me? You know since you insisted we stay here for a few days even though it is work nights for me!"

Awe, now if only we had a rewind button on life, as well as an edit because the boner-killing attitude could have been replaced with a phone sex operator tone. Nope, that doesn't exist. Instead, Wayne Brady is going to have to smack a bitch! Please, sweetheart, tell me how it feels to be fucked by a rhino?! My legs begin pumping like hydraulic powered machines carrying my metaphorical rhino cock toward my girlfriend's anus. Closing in on the target my arms grab her hips as I thrust my right knee with all my might and body weight. Striking her asshole with the point of the hardest portion of my knee like a massive rhino penis plunging into its mate's vagina. Kensey smashes through all the shelves in the fridge shattering all the glass, knocked unconscious and probably with a bleeding dung hole. Before flinging the fridge door closed I grab an unscathed bottle of St. Paulie's Girl. Right as the door slams shut I smack the top of the beer bottle off with the edge of my counter and fist. Smiling like a man of my stature should I take the most euphoric and fictional swig of my favorite refreshment...

Snapped back to reality by on very rare occasion Kensey's voice is one of the most infuriating sounds, from my fantasy of what I wish I could do when she uses this specific tone.

Kensey Kane: "Did you fucking do shrooms without me or something? I asked you a question. Fuck!"

"No baby doll, I haven't done any shrooms in awhile, before High Stakes babe. Just having a brain fart is all, here why don't you go change into something more relaxing and then join me out on the loveseat, I'll have your cherry doctor pepper waiting in a glass, no ice. What do you say?"

Kensey Kane: "You're fucking lucky! I told you next time you trip it better be with me since we haven't done that together yet. You do realize it is going to take you longer to run to the store than it does for me to get ready for bed and you know I am weird and need cherry doctor pepper before I wind down for bed."

"I know our relationship is fairly new but we have spent enough time together, I feel I know you better than the back of my hand. Just have a little faith in me and walk that sexy ass over to the bedroom, so we can go on to enjoy the rest of the night. I'm in need of some one on one chitter chatter time. Something serious has come up and I want you to know I respect you enough to discuss it since it will be concerning us."

Kensey Kane: "Okay?! Now you have me a little concerned and worried, did you fucking do something!? I swear to Christ Joshua if you fucking cheated... I'll cut your freaking dick off! Then whoever you have scheduled matches with won't have to worry at all because you won't make it. You'd be too busy bleeding out from your Mangina!"

"What the fucking fuck, you have mental problems, sweetie, I didn't cheat, but it does involve the XWF, just go and get comfy. Let me get your drink, roll a CBD-infused blunt, and set up the PS4 for Netflix or a movie. Promise sweet tits this conversation has nothing negative involving us, at least I'm ninety percent sure it doesn't."

Kensey Kane: "Fine. I'll probably need some venting time as well anyways, might as well try to get comfortable and calm down a little before I talk your ear off. Mwah! I'm sorry for being so snappy. I love you, handsome man!"

Kensey smiles and cheerfully closes the refrigerator door and walks toward the master bedroom on the opposite end of the house from the guest room and study. Sighing as I shake my head hardly able to believe how simply she went from hellacious bear cat to a sweet joyous bunny rabbit in a second flat. Suddenly my head halts, resting perfectly still as she looks back from the doorway of the master bedroom. Her smile glistens radiantly like sparkling snow on a sunny mountainside, she didn't catch my mockery of women's uncontrollable emotions. Entering the room she closes the door behind her. I bite my lower lip, not understanding how she was the one to sink her claws into my flesh for eternity.

Like a marijuana ninja, I quickly gather everything needed to roll a rice paper joint and a mango flavored CBD infused blunt. Sitting down on the couch I set down a booklet of Element papers, a pouch of the Mango CBD blunt wraps, and a custom stainless American steel grinder. Wait a minute. I'm missing something. Duh, the ganja dammit. Hoping to my feet I take off toward my bedroom laughing at my own silliness. Opening the door I enter the bedroom noticing the sound of water running and splashing on stone. Kensey must be in my all in one shower made from glass, stone, and stainless steel. I peek into the master bath within the master bed and love the sight of my sexy naked angel washing her bare body with soapsuds and a washcloth. Biting my lower lip I turn away, hating myself deeply for not just storming over and joining her.

Instead, I begin scanning all over my bedroom looking for my mason jar of one of my all time favorite strands Silent Afghan Skunk, a super hybrid one of my good friends Chris MacDonald from my elementary and beginning of middle school days. Really the only friend I kept in touch with after my family moved away from Michigan to Ohio to take care of my great grandparents. Bingo, my eyes spot the jar and all the nuggets look very dense, properly cured, and very dank. Like a thief in the night, I swipe the jar, quickly making an exit. Back in the living room, I roll a pinner joint for myself while she is showering and a blunt as fat as the wrap will allow.

With a smile from ear to ear I spark up the well-needed pinner that rests on my parched lips. After taking a couple drags without inhaling, I remove the joint with my right hand and try to wet my almost chapping lips with my tongue. To no prevail, my tongue has already dried out with cotton mouth. Fuck this is some good shit, giving me cotton mouth off of a couple drags, Chris is one hell of a grower. I would never admit it to him but he is even better than myself. My pace has slowed down quite a bit since before as I walk to the kitchen joint in hand on a mission for something to drink. Opening the fridge my eyes instantly make contact with a green apple Gatorade, one of the big daddy thirty-two ouncers. The Gatorade is almost frosty to the touch causing me to let out a shivering woo. Of course, I had to carry it out like legendary Ric Flair.

"WOOOOOOOO!"

Almost immediately after paying tribute to one of my idols growing up, my mouth begins gulping the delicious beverage. With my Gatorade in my left hand and a lit doobie in my right, I make my way into the master bath having decided to tell Kensey the partial truth about some time I'll be spending away. Precisely the time I will be spending with Bourbon in North Korea doing what the Motherfuckers do best, but she doesn't need to know that. Especially since I just told her I was getting out of the private military industry. It's kind of true still, what the Motherfuckers do isn't about money, it is about the people. We owe them everything and that is exactly what we are going to give them in and out of the ring. Hopefully, I can keep it a secret long enough to get her more at ease into the idea of me being at risk and in constant danger. Repeatedly I drag on the joint hotboxing the cherry until it is glowing amber. With a mouth full of smoke I slowly exhale the intoxicating smoke from my nose. A happy daze falls on my body as I speak out to Kensey in a soft gentle tone at first, not wanting to scare her and will gradually increase to my normal discussion voice.

"Hey sweetheart I figured I could just talk to you about what I needed to while you are in the shower."

Kensey Kane: "Okay well go ahead and fire away babe. I still have to wash everything. Guess I was enjoying the steam shower a little too much."

"Okay so here is the deal, I am going to have to spend some time away. You see with the freshly started tag team with Robbie Bourbon and the XWF USA tour coming up I am going to be swamped. I figured what the hell take a little vacation from one another. Seeing as it would probably be a good idea to get with my partner and do a shit ton of in-ring training. Then maybe kick off the tour before I return and then we can figure out exactly how this is going to work. Like what you'll want to do when I have to travel for publicity stunts, autograph signings, meet & greets, and basically whatever else the XWF has planned for the Motherfuckers to interact with fans on tour."

Kensey Kane: "Actually that was kind of on my mind as well, one of the other girls at work last night brought up the XWF would be going on a USA tour on July 5th. Now about the Motherfuckers, by the way, I love the name, your partner came up with it didn't he? Please just make sure you don't get swallowed by this like you did your military contracting career."

"Oh darlin I promise there will always be time for you, my most precious time. I swear. Nothing is more important."

A blatant lie that left my mouth like a melodic tune from a songbird waking the woodland creatures up with peaceful alarm. America, the people, and my brothers are still more important to me than her, even though she is climbing the ladder, I feel there is still a long way to go. Kind of like how I feel Thaddeus Duke's road to retrieving a briefcase from defending the X-treme Championship an allotted amount of time. Something that clearly wasn't his original or even secondary plan to obtain his ultimate goal. A Championship belt the Universe is after.

Kensey Kane: "Okay good because I'm really starting to take a liking to you, you're a very respectable man Joshua Payne!"

To be continued...

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode Respect. Fuck! (2/?)
Author	Message