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"The Wolf of Afghanistan" Joshua Schuler · (06-22-2017)

"Respect. Fuck! Pt. 1 of ?"

"How the fuck is it going, Motherfuckers? You know this bastard is doing great, just sitting here at my home waiting. Waiting for my angel face to make it up here. Hopefully get some quality time with one another before I begin the XWF, U! S! A! Tour. Yeah pretty fuckin gnarly, if I do say. So I guess firstly I'd like to tip my hat to Jefferson Jackson and whoever else put their genius together and created the card to kick the tour off with a thunderous BOOM! If you are a wrestling fan and have the resources to make it to the Silverstein Eye Center Arena in Independence, Missouri on July 5th fuckin be there. You won't want to regret missing epic history live!

No, The Motherfuckers won't be competing in the squared circle as a single unit that night, but don't worry XWF universe. Robbie and I both will be the competing for singles gold. You all are probably thinking exactly what I am thinking, just a week and a half ago Ax3 was hoarding all the straps... Not anymore! Those fucksticks are slowly burning out, brought too much hype all at once. Seriously though they let a youngin pull a Trojan Horse right under their noses. Must say I have to give the boy props. Thaddeus Duke, X-treme Champion, Illuminatus Commander, and my opponent at Warfare. Young in age yet seasoned like a hundred-year-old oak! Kind of reminds me of little ole eighteen-year-old BWP when I first met WAR and felt true love for the first time..."

Slowly my left-hand reaches over to my right, which holds a small video camera I've been using to shoot my promo. My war-torn and callused fingers wrap around the video recorder and rotate it. Revealing what my view would have been if I hadn't been staring into the camera like one of those self-shot YouTube videos. The recorder captures my study, a few full trophy animals that I had stuffed are scattered about. A large grizzly bear weighing well over a thousand pounds when it was still roaming the woods stands in an aggressive stance towering well over eight-foot tall toe to head. It's arms more like twelve feet high. Still choked and unable to continue speaking, I wipe my forehead with my free hand. All while turning slowly across the room allowing the viewers to admire my room of thought,

The wall space that doesn't have animal mounts, warrior statues, or a rifle rack is nothing but book shelf. Besides the one large cathedral style bay window at the back of the king's chair at my oak desk. Sniffling the small drainage from a slight cold from a weakened immune system thanks to all the wear and tear my body endured during High Stakes II. The last PPV where not only did Thaddeus win the X-treme Championship Title but I, myself, took the KingSlayer and Charon to the limits. To win twenty-five thousand dollars and show everyone "The Motherfucker" Bearded War Pig is back in the turret and can truck through hell. One last small sniffle before I gather my composure and begin rotating the video recorder back toward my barbaric face. That happens to be shadowed by a flat black large flex fit baseball cap with charcoal gray lettering reading "The Motherfuckers" across the left side of the bill, arched slightly. Before the lens reaches the point of aiming toward me again it passes my computer with the end of the Sam Roberts Show with guest XWF X-Treme Champion Thaddeus Duke paused. The fucker nailed the show, conduct of a true champion. Smiling with no sign of a sad and watery eyed face I flash a grin into the camera before speaking to the people once again.

"Fuck! Sorry about that, just thought it was a good point to take a few seconds to collect my thoughts. Sometimes this wrestling shit can be a lot. Not only de we have to find the time to train the body, mind, and spirit. We need to find the time to cut promos for the people, events, and personal life. That isn't all of it though, we have to keep up with what our opponents say and are doing to prepare. This isn't just a job, it is a lifestyle. Almost as difficult as the military life in the sense of never having a single fucking second to one's self. Pretty rough shit, huh? Not when you do what you would do alone in front of any audience like I fuckin do. Shit if I wanted to jerk my dick right now I fucking would. If I want to think, I'll fucking think! Like I told David's I am a free man and I plan to keep it that way.

Bahaha, kind of ironic how I just said that. The free man part. Since Duke and I will be locked in a STEEL CAGE! How fucking animalistic. Mmmm, seriously though just knowing I was chosen to represent the XWF's talent by being placed in the main event for the opening has my cock at full mass. I'll try to keep the camera on my top half, don't want any of ya's wives leaving you for some of this real man dick! Bwarhahahaha. My apologies, I can't pull off the jester gig like Cadryn Tiberius, too much warrior and killer blood pumping through these veins. That's fine and dandy though, the funny guy will not be so comical after Robbie serves him up a Red, White, and Blue ass whoopin all over the Fourth of July parade float! Yeah if you aren't aware yet, not only will you get to see Bearded War Pig versus Thaddeus Duke in a Xtreme Caged Flag Match for the X-treme strap. You also get Robbie Motherfuckin Bourbon versus Cadryn Tiberius in an Independence Day Parade Massacre match for the Hart Championship.

Probably just lost half of my viewers. Shit, I wouldn't be mad as long is it is for ticket purchases and not just because some new porn finished downloading or something. Fuck! I haven't even expressed myself directly to Thaddeus Duke. A very young LEGEND in the making perhaps. Yeah, I said it so fucking what!? Thad my boy if you are watching or I'm sure you eventually will don't take my words as a sign of weakness. Just like I don't plan on taking your respect toward my military background as such. Thanks for recognizing. Most men don't have the gull or courteous manner here in the XWF to properly acknowledge where respect is due. So please allow me to officially return the sportsmanship and respect. With that being said. You better know just because I respect fellow warfighters, that doesn't mean I will lay it on you any less. On the contrary, that respect will be shown in the cage as my aggression, rage, and pain sharpened into a blade. The very same blade I will cut your throat all the way to the spinal cord and shower you with my respect as I lay you to rest. Metaphorically speaking.

I am not going to literally cut your throat obviously. However, I will make those words and thoughts of yours about how the triple threat match at High Stakes II was your favorite, irrelevant. You and I Thad will make XWF history a title defense that will grab GODS by the balls and command their attention. I can't speak for you on how much you are willing to give and leave in the cage, like how you couldn't if I would share the same enthusiasm and respect for you as you said you have for me. What I can say is I will be in a combat mindset inside that cage and in this war zone, there will be no retreat! One of us is going to give up or have their shoulders forced flat on the canvas for a succulent three count. During our match, you may even question if I ever had any respect for you what so ever from the violence and torment we are going to be put through.

In my eyes it is the only way, I can show respect. I believe warriors should tackle every fight like a gladiator, even if we were brothers... To show I respect, I will give it everything I have, I will fight like we are the worse of enemies. If I was to hold back even the slightest, well then I would be disrespecting you. If I respect you then you should be able to survive my best, maybe not win, but at least survive. You better give me the same damn respect as well, I want your ruthless, most aggressive, and violent energy you've ever brought to the ring. If you can promise me that Thaddy boy then well you really will have my respect after the match.

Like you told Sam on his show we have never faced before and well I'm as excited as a pubescent, bleach blonde tween who newly discovered Twitter. Bwarhahaha. Thanks for the shout out anyway, maybe when we are done strutting our stuff and our dicks are back in our pants... Possibly you could show this bloodthirsty war dog, how to set up one of them tweet tweeters? I've been seeing the XWF site blow up with that silly billy bullshit, probably be best if my fans had access to my own personal. Shit, maybe my first post will be when Warfare goes off the air and could read something like hashtag Prince is trampled in gory Boar accident!? I don't know, maybe Dolls would have some ideas?

Why is she a touchy subject, is she your first love? How fucking cute. Hopefully you two have a very strong foundation and have an everlasting meaningful relationship. Once the cage is lifted and one of us has our arm raised and is handed the X-Treme Championship strap, your precious face most likely won't be so precious. I'm sure you two will make it through still, she didn't seem to be too bothered by taking a shot to her face from you. I mean boot. Don't want to come off like Graves... Oh, that reminds me, don't think that nice guy act on the Sam Roberts show melted my heart. Nothing can melt the dark ice that has engulfed my heart, so don't even try. Plus I am not a complacent fuck like those ass goblins in Ax3, you warmed your way right into their castle and claimed something of theirs as your own.

Won't work that way here, I once was told something important from a very smart and savage warrior. Be courteous and professional with everyone you meet, but always have a plan to kill them. I've followed that statement to the tee, ever since I heard it, and that is exactly how I plan to conduct myself with you. Hell, I will even shake your hand, fist bump, or even hug before the bell rings, but once it is a wrasslin time you will be nothing more than a very rare rib eye steak! My teeth will show and then that is when the real fun starts because this piggy wiggy, wiggy is feral as the next grunt in the trenches. Maybe you don't have an understanding of what the trenches are like yet, but I've seen plenty of it! Enough for the whole roster probably, the real murky, sludge, and life stealing trenches that slowly rot your soul over time. Inside the cage, you will feel and taste a little of what my trench life was about."

Honk!

Honk!

Honk!

Three loud car horn bursts pierce my eardrums almost making me jump out of my chair, forgetting Kensey was on her way. I smack my cheek with my free hand trying to regain steadiness in my thoughts. Just as I remove the camcorder from my hand and set it on the desk. Still filming and aiming at me, I lick my lips and smile wide as my eyebrows raise. I peak out the window behind me as her lights from her silver Chevy Tracker shut off. I then turn back to the camera as my dogs begin to bark like a wolfpack hunting a late night snack. One of my hands reaches for the power button while my other begins to wave bye, before pressing the power button and disconnecting from the XWF Universe, my lips part.

"Thaddy, XWF Universe, and all you other shit bricks who tuned in, have a blessed morning. I have to shut my hounds the fuck up and then escort my lady to the bedroom for some sexual massaging! One last thing, Oink, Oink Motherfuckers!"

Static.

To be Continued...

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