The scene opens on a beach in Miami, Florida, where it surely is a nice day out with the sun beating down on all of the hot babes in their bikinis. We then see "Classy" Gilmour Classic running up the beach with his surfboard, muscles bulging out and some wicked long hair that flows in the wind like a war flag. On his left arm is a tattoo that reads: "GC." His swim trunks also read: "GC." And his surfboard-- you guessed it-- reads: "GC." The devilish man walks up to his devilish fiance, Jennifer Jackson, who is sunbathing. He plants a kiss on her unsuspecting lips and gropes her tits in public.

Gilmour: Mi'lady, you should come in the water, it's very refreshing. I'm also tired of seeing all these guys drooling over your sexy body.



Jennifer: Let them, baby. You are the only one who can have me at the end of the day. Okay fine, do you really want to see me all wet?

Gilmour: Yes!

Jennifer gets up and runs down to the water with Gilmour Classic. The devilish duo holds hands as they endure the waves crashing against them. After Jennifer is all wet, they get out of the water to dry off.

Jennifer: That was fun, baby.

Just when you think all is well in the Gilmour family, the water begins to behave queerly. That's right, the ocean is being a ! A wicked, six foot wave rushes up on shore and attacks the devilish duo from behind, knocking Jennifer onto her tits. Gilmour nearly loses his footing, but the man has cat like reflexes that nature cannot subdue.

Gilmour: FUCK! Jennifer, are you okay?

Jennifer: I think I might have sprained my ankle, baby. It hurts!

Gilmour: THAT FUCKING OCEAN! FUCK YOU OCEAN, YOU FUCKING CUNT.

Gilmour continues to shout at the water as the other people on the beach look at him like he's crazy.

Gilmour: SHOW YOURSELF DEMON! I KNOW YOU ARE IN THERE YOU LITTLE .

To everyone's surprise, the water demon decides to show itself but in the form of a God. Classic Gilmour logic at work here.



Gilmour does the only thing we can expect to see in a Gilmour Classic battle, he pulls out a fuckin' great sword from his swim trunks. The sword must be close to 5 feet long and has the words: "DEMON 666" engraved on the flat part of the blade. The demon god attacks Gilmour Classic with the 50 foot trident, but GC parries that shit with his cock. GC then decides to put his great sword to use. He delivers a sinister strike that cuts the 100 foot water demon in half. The people on the beach watch in awe as Gilmour slays the demon. Gilmour then holds his mighty great sword up to the heavens. Lightening bolts strike down onto the tip of the blade as flames encircle Gilmour's feet.

Gilmour: In the name of God, I command you to leave, demon!

The demon evaporates as Gilmour laughs wickedly.

Gilmour: I will teach everyone in the battle royal a valuable lesson. EVIL might take vacations from time to time but EVIL never truly left the federation. My name is Gilmour Classic and I return tonight with a vengeance. I'm out for blood. I will destroy everyone in my path until they evaporate at my feet like that demon did. Don't believe me? TRY ME! You cannot kill evil even if you tried. Evil exists whether we choose to have it around or not. You can send away evil on vacations but it never really leaves you alone. Evil is always lurking in the shadows where man is afraid to go. I am evil and I have come out of the shadows to play in the battle royal. God has sent me to do his bidding. God is upset with all of you insignificant cunts, so he's sent his favorite demon to do his work for him. I will cleanse the XWF of all the evil and laugh as I stand over my victims with my foot over their throats. Evil is dark, and darkness simply cannot win against light. I am the light and I will conquer the darkness that is in XWF. Darkness like Sebastian Duke. Hi Sebastian Duke-- or should I say-- THE UNDERTAKER. Darkness like Jon Plex. Hi, . Nice promo-- NOT! I was so bored listening to you TRY to cut a promo. Nice TRY, rookie. Try again and this time try not to bore me to tears. ACTUALLY, I could use a good nap before the show kicks off so why don't you cut another promo so I can fall asleep, HAHAHAA! It doesn't matter who it is, evil will dispose of them on Wednesday and evil is CLASSIC GILMOUR. Who's ready to get HARRRRRDCORRRRRE?!

ACHIEVEMENTS
12x X-Treme Champion
1x Trio Champion
1x Tag Team Champion
1x Hart Champion
FAVORITE DISH
parm

TIMELINE OF THE CHICKEN PARM KING:

>Owen Octavious Carter kidnaps Kevin Steen in the parking lot after an ROH event.
>Kevin Steen transforms into the man known as Gilmour Classic!
>The Pipebomb that MURDERED Imperial ErotiCUNT
>GC abducts Maria Brink!
>The promo that brought down the European Champion CUNTdall Sawyer

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