The sickest death metal music plays as we see Darren Dangerous getting hoisted over the X Towers by a crane.

DD is wrapped from head to toe in tape, which is holding all sorts of gnarly nasty painful shit to his body. He's got sandpaper, butterfly knives, LEGO, tons of those snap pop firecracker thingies, a full pack of 60 watt light bulbs, and half a dozen live snapping turtles all stuck to his body. He's also got a GoPro strapped to his head and he's holding an electric bug zapper.

Darren Dangerous: "I'm the baddest most EXTREME sob this company has ever seen, and I'm about to get my hands on the belt I've been after my entire career! Yeah! The X-Treeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeme Championship!"

The effort of screaming loud opens up cuts on DD's forehead and he starts bleeding all over the place. We go to his GoPro feed and see that through the glass roof he's hovering over, Bobby Bourbon is sitting at a cafeteria table enjoying a succulent Chinese meal.

Darren Dangerous: "Time to get HARDCORE!!!!"

He flicks a Bic and lights his Slayer tee shirt on fire, then unclips himself from the crane!

Darren crashes through the glass ceiling and fall all the way down into the cafeteria and lands on Bobby!






Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap!!! Brap brap brap!!!





1!


2!!

Bobby barely kicks out from the utter shock. He stands and looks down.

Damn, Darren, you look really fat and bald and I don't envy you.