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Scoops McGee · (02-26-2025)

The sound of yelling and screaming reverberated through the sunny skies found on the McGee farm, followed closely by the trampling of hooves smashing themselves against the dirt. As Noah made sure the GoPro camera he was wearing wasn’t about to fall off any time soon, he desperately clung to the reins of the runaway horse he found himself on for dear life.

“HOW THE FUCK DO I STOP THIS THING?!”

Cinnamon was as tan as her name suggested, a thoroughbred who snorted in terror as she continued to gallop at breakneck speeds. She held no concern nor care for the cameraman who had unfortunately found herself stuck on this wacky, wild ride. She was always an anxious mare, and today had proved no different as she had been set off by a truck loudly blaring on the road while Noah had been on her back.

As Noah was prepared to count his prayers and await the sweet release of death, his phone blared in his jacket. The one name he had been counting on was trying to reach out to him.

“SCOOOOOOOPS! WHAT DO I DO?”

“You really can’t stop that thing?” Scoops shouted back over the phone.

Noah felt like his heart was about to leap out of his chest at any given moment. “NO! I’VE NEVER RIDDEN A HORSE BEFORE!”

“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me sooner?” Scoops grumbled in response. “Movin’ in with yer’ head up yer’ ass and can’t even do shit! Who the fuck you think you are, Dom Strife?”

Noah was about to get thrusted off by a harsh buck from Cinnamon as Scoops’ complaining wasn’t helping the nerves that were being set on fire. “HELP!”

Before Noah could even realize what was going on, a loud VRRRRRRRRRRM interrupted his pleas from the other side of the line as Scoops’ voice cut through. “Gimme a minute, boah, I gotta get this started before I can play catch-up with you. Whatever you do, DON’T let go of those reins.”

Do I even want to know what he’s doing?! Noah wondered to himself as Scoops continued.

“Speakin’ of Dominick Strife,” Scoops continued, “That boah likes to think of himself as the new bloodhound on the block! Pavin’ his way, tryin’ to hunt for glory! He’s tryna set himself up on the hunt, but he ain’t a fuckin’ bloodhound! He’s a goddamn chihuahua is what he is!”

Noah blinked, the dots connecting in his head as he shouted into the line. “ARE YOU CUTTING A PROMO RIGHT NOW?”

A small response lingered over the line before Scoops nervously cleared his throat. “...Keeps me from panicking while I’m gettin’ this shit on the road.”

The roar of the motor revved through again over the phone line. As Scoops was trying his best to drive, Cinnamon the mare led Noah right over a muddy patch, the slippery surface trying to have him fall off as he yelped and tugged on the reins with everything he had!

“You alright?” Scoops called out to him.

“Somehow still on!”

“Good!” Noah didn’t know how much time was passing. His mind was turning into a blur. The only thing he could focus on right now aside from this “ride” was Scoops’ voice, continuing to ramble. “Now like I said, Dom, he’s a chihuahua and he likes following the bigger dogs beside him! Look at that Rottweiler Jimmy Stars, or that damn pitbull Maddy Dyson! He’s even following Aurora again, bless that little girl’s heart!”

Cinnamon took a hard turn, threatening to yank Noah off in the process as she pivoted right into the wheat field! The golden crops jutted out of the ground, the prickly leaves pointing at Noah as they galloped across. “They’re cutting me!”

“Wheat fields?” Scoops asked, quickly figuring out what Noah meant.

“Yeah!”

Scoops grumbled, pivoting his vehicle. “I don’t think Dom even knows how to not get yanked around! He’s got all the talent in the world, but he’s a follower! No manager or tag partner is gonna save him out there! When he holds my title in the hallways, on the street, in his damn home, there ain’t no one who he can rely on who can pull him outta that fire! He ain’t cut out for this shit! He’s a sitting duck is what he is!”

Noah and Cinnamon bursted from the fields as Cinnamon jumped through the air over a ridge, with Noah falling right to her side as he awkwardly wrapped his legs around her torso! As he did so, he had to raise his head to get out of the way of planks of wood from the pens!

“We’re at the animal pens!”

“I see you!” Scoops shouted, the engine now roaring in the distance of Noah’s regular hearing. “You gotta pull yerself up! Trust me!”

Noah wasn’t sure if he even could, but it’s not like he had a choice. Scoops had to have a plan… right? Gritting his teeth, Noah used every ounce of his strength to bring himself onto the horse’s back…

…right as a cherry ATV was driving right next to Cinnamon the mare.

Noah’s eyes went as wide as dinner plates as Scoops began to adjust himself on his ride. “Holy SHI-”

“BRACE YERSELF!” SCOOPS JUMPS OFF OF THE ATV, SWERVING IT AWAY FROM CINNAMON AS HE TACKLED NOAH OFF OF HER BACK! THE TWO GO SAILING THROUGH THE AIR-

CRRRRRRRRRRUNCH!

-RIGHT INTO A NEARBY HAY BALE!

Scoops groaned, watching as Cinnamon slowly calmed down to a normal trot as he pulled himself up. “Like I’d let you die, boah. Yer’ like another son to me at this point.”

“T-Thanks…” Noah spat out hay in his mouth as Scoops leaned over him, pointing at the GoPro lens.

“Dom, I hope yer’ fuckin’ watchin’. Even a wild mare can’t keep up with me. Yer’ the chihuahua about to go one-on-one with the meanest, baddest bulldog on the block, and it’s a dog-eat-dog world out there.”

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode Scoops McGee in... “Runaway Mare”
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