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Dolly Waters · (08-23-2024)

My fellow wrestling fans…

The scene opens in front of an underwhelming audience of half-interested reporters and disillusioned fans at a golf course country club, just outside of the front entrance. It’s a setting that could’ve been plucked right out of a Trumpian fever dream. The winds whip a tattered American flag, a stark backdrop against sun-faded XWF promotional posters flanking a rickety makeshift podium

Thank you all fer’ coming out to this momentous occasion, it’s a really, very great thing…

Mismanaged microphones are squawking intermittently. Only adding to the aura of disarray as Misty’s voice is as commanding as an air raid siren, bleeding through the dated sound system. She’s sporting a gaudy stars-and-stripes blazer that clashes with the XWF Xtreme Championship belt slung over her shoulder, she strides to the podium with an air of misplaced confidence.

Standing at 5 foot-something, Misty cuts a striking figure. The reigning XWF Xtreme Champion. Her brash, authoritarian demeanor has made her a polarizing figure in the wrestling world. Adored by few, reviled by most. But there’s a twist the industry has yet to grasp: this isn’t Dolly Waters

Yes, physically, she’s the same perennial underdog we’ve watched flounder in the ring for years. But the swagger, the smug self-assurance oozing from behind that podium... this belongs to someone else entirely: her lunatic grandmother, Misty.

In a bizarre turn of events worthy of a cheesy horror flick, Misty tricked Dolly into a possession ritual months ago, swapping their souls. Now armed with old-fashioned ideals and a love for political theater, Misty has blended her passion for wrestling and politics into one outrageous campaign. And with the U.S. Presidential Election looming, what better time to launch her bid for authoritarian dominance?

For months, the fake news media in the XWF, and these radical, company destroying wrestlers have treated me very poorly. They’ve levied accusations against the Misty Madness in a feeble attempt to halt the momentum of my… OUR… great movement.

Be it the boss's wife interfering in my Television Championship match, a display of unchecked nepotism, the likes of which the world has never seen..

Be it the rigged Leap of Faith match in the Vatican City,

Or be it The MAGA Powers - Misty Waters and Madison Dyson - being overlooked for a tag team championship opportunity, even though we’re the greatest tag team this business has ever seen - that’s right..

These corrupt radicals within the XWF will stop at nothing to put an end to our… to MY rise.

That’s why I’m proud to announce today that I, Misty Waters, am officially launching my XTREME Campaign for victory this November!

With a theatrical flourish, she throws her arms wide, and from the country club’s awning behind her, a massive banner unfurls, covering the backdrop, including the American flag. It’s a towering AI-generated mural depicting Misty riding a grizzly bear, AR-15s in each hand. Bold letters at the bottom declare:

Misty’s XTREME Campaign
-2024-

A murmur of confusion carries through the crowd of reporters, their cameras capturing the bizarre spectacle. Despite the snickers echoing from the back, Misty doesn’t falter

That’s right!

Something very special happened when I outsmarted that lousy doofus, Corey Black and won the XWF Xtreme Championship… it was on that day that the one, the TRUE almighty Lord chose me, Misty Waters, to save professional wrestling- aligning my path to victory alongside President Trump’s quest to save our country in November.

Because I, Misty Waters, am only one Warfare defense, one Anarchy defense, and two pay-per-view defenses away from WINNING the Xtreme 24/7 Case!

This week on Anarchy, against cryin’ Cent and John whacky Black, will only move me closer wrapping up my required defenses- leaving only the pay-per-view circuit left to complete.

We all know the big one this September… Relentless, where this Xtreme Campaign of the Misty Madness will deliver yet another huge victory…

but after that, there will only be one pay-per-view left to achieve our dreams of saving professional wrestling from these radically lame wrestlers who are poisoning the blood of the XWF.

The November pay-per-view… Where we will save professional wrestling, and crown a Universal Champion you can be proud of- just in time for Donald Trump to take our country back!

A reporter snickered, unimpressed, drawing a fierce glare from Misty. Oooooh Yeeeeah, laugh all you want! she booms. But I’m speaking the truth, defending not just my title, but the American values we hold dear—one running knee, one armbar at a time!

Somewhere in the back, a tired golf club waiter rolled their eyes. As Misty continued, her fervor only grew.

My campaign is extreme!

But not like the certain extremes I’m facing this week on Anarchy:

Like Centurion, the extreme disappointment, who despite being graced a reprieve from his impending retirement by my MAGA sister Madison, he’s done nothing but continue to prove what a loser he is. Losing his smile for the umpteenth time. No better than a career politician holding onto spot in this industry that has long since passed him by.

Or John BLAAAACK, another extreme failure! He never tries to improve, folks. All he does is cry about how he’s been wronged, bemoaning the popularity contest in the XWF, rather than doing anything to try and combat it, like a coward holding his hands out and waiting for a gift, rather than balling up his fists and fighting to make his dreams come true.

Neither have what it takes to rise to the occasion, neither of their pathetic extremes can match my Xtreme destiny, as we take our campaign on the road to West Virginia.

Through blood, sweat, and steel chairs, she roars, I will wrestle my way into history, showing the world that tradition still matters, even in the XWF!

Misty thrusts her championship into the air. Reporters scribbled half-hearted notes, more amused than inspired. As fans trickle away, Misty stands victorious, not in the ring, but in her own deluded triumphant moment.

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode PlaceMarker The XTreme Campaign '24
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