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John_Black · (07-05-2023)

[It opens up to Drake in a hoodie and sweats with his million dollar jordans standing in front of a stage to a crowd of no one, and he smokes his vape and he looks into the camera. The room was full of green smoke, as he spoke.]

Drake: Yo, y’all know who it is… i’m the guy who makes hoes go ooh… I'm doing some interview type shit. I’m finna talk to dis boi named JB… so yeah, here’s JB.. i guess.

[Then he heads to the desk where there was a shitty mic sitting there. Then about an hour later, we see “JB” (really Hannibal Buress) coming out with two thotties who looked like EDWINA in jungle-like gear. He then gives them some vine chains and smacks them pail asses as they head out to the back, then he daps Drake and sits on a chair and they talk.]

Drake: Yo, JB… i don’t know bout wrestling… but I know you know be throwin dem bows. How you be boterhin to deal with that shit?

JB: You know me, I know how to throw them thangs. I had to throw them thangs to Kylie Jenner, why else do you think she had her second child? It anit that bum Astroworld dude.

[Then Drake looked elsewhere with a stock “ooh” coming into the fold. Then he fixes his notecards, but he tosses them on the floor, and he drinks his lean.]

Drake: Shit this lean got me fucked up… you drink lean?

JB: Nah, i just drink Tampex Rum.

Drake: The fuck is that?

JB: I’ll show you.

[JB pulls out a glass, and he has a shot of rum inside, and he pulls out a bloody tampon, he squeezes the juices out of it into the glass. Then it cuts to Drake looking disgusted over what just occurred. Then it cuts to JB drinking it straight, and he shakes as he feels the rum in his body.]

Drake: What the fuck did you do?... that is disgustin my G!

JB: That’s how I roll, I am on my wildside. Hell I am on my wildside in the wrestlin fed. Do you wrestle Drake?

Drake: Um, no… don’t think I should. I’m not built for dat lyfe.

JB: C’mon dude anit you the one who played B-Ball in Degrassi back in the day?

Drake: Oh right eh, Jimmy Crooks was the name..till some white dude shot my ass up and left me off my hoop dreams… so now i’m a multi milly dolla entertainer. But enough about me, what about you JB? What you got cookin up?

[Then JB starts to scratch his beard, and speaks.]

JB: Well I got some shit poppin off.. I got some shirts coming into stores nationwide.. Got me some deals with an animated joint still in process…a possible softcore prono with that Euphoria chick named Chloe Cherry… and oh yeah, I got some beef to settle with some british woman wrestler and a jungle boy dude.

Drake: Do you have real beef with them?

JB: Not in a street sense, more like a wrestling sense. Pretty much a “I wanna beat you up and win” type of rhetoric shit. Let me show you some clips of that… roll the footage, Lenny!

[Lenny, the intern, wasn't aware of setting up the projector so it took him about fifteen minutes to set it up and to project some typical wrestling promos. After the videos were done, Lenny stumbled to where the projector was and turned it off. Then both men continue to speak.]

Drake: So that's what a wrestling promo looks like, why aren’t you cutting those types of promos?

JB: They don’t sell well to the general audiences, they want some epic, mulit layered type of composition that will make their pants fall out. Remember we stumbled across jungle boy’s promo?

Drake: Oh yeah, that dude… he did have a fire promo though.

JB: See what i mean… and that’s why he gets the big money, merch, and title shots. Just like how you get all the clout, status and all that… I know I won't be on that level.

Drake: Let me tell you something… that’s a lie eh… I am going to give you fifteen minutes to tell the audience why you are wrestling…go!

[As the timer ticked down, he spoke.]

JB: Uh… well, I know that I got to do it. I know I am paid to do it. I fully know that I am somewhat competent against a jungle boy and a British woman wrestler, i’ve been involved long enough to know how to handle myself. I might not be a champion wrestler, but i’ve won more of the fans' somewhat disposition. I might be hated, but I know I am given the most fucks to spare by them as well. If I do arrive to Chi City, I might not but heads with Yezus, but I will knock out a few teeth from some enlightened figurehead who needs to go back to Tarzana, and take along Molly as well. Fuck it, i’m gonna stomp the shit out of them both and make them suffer and shit.

[Then the timer went off, and Drake clapped for his thing.]

Drake: Well that is all we have time for today, catch JB somewhere in Chi City taking on Jungle Boy Edward Perry and Molly Polly Barnes on Anarchy this week… and we're out!

[Then the show fades, and we see the credits roll on a black screen… then it abruptly cuts off.] [/color]

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