From the TV studio’s parking garage, three XWF Climate Scientists all sprint off, running for safety!

“Wh-wh-what do we do?!? That giant automaton was attacking Mark Flynn!!”

“What are we *supposed* to do? We’re just climate scientists!”

“Yeah, you’d have to be crazy to throw yourself into that situation!!!”

“But, the X-Treme championship could change hands! And with CO2 emissions so high, the world is at risk!”

“Agreed! So, let’s just go home and deliver a thoroughly-researched research paper to local policy-makers, covering the long-term dangers of allowing a giant robot to attack the X-Treme champion. That should enable them to write legislation that will solve the problem in the next eight-to-ten years.”

The three scientists sprint past… Just as mild-mannered reporter, Sam Handwich, starts to unlock the front door of his moderately-priced, American-made automobile…



Handwich's ears perk at what he’s overheard!

“Scientists scrambling in terror? The world at risk? The X-Treme championship?!?” Handwich nods, stoically, immediately comprehending the severity of the situation. “This sounds like a job for…”



Handwich ducks into a nearby phonebooth.

…

……

The phoebooth doors open!

Revealing…

…

A ham sandwich.

…

It remains stationary on the floor of the phonebooth.

…

Cuz… Y’know.

It’s a ham sandwich.

…

Anyway. Across the garage…

***

“Ah, Mark Flynn… How long it has been. Before we… permanently part ways… Let us briefly consider for a moment how we arrived at this moment.”

The unmistakable pompousity. The insistence on calling him by his full name.

Yep, Flynn was certain. This was the War Criminal alright.

Not Thad Duke, for the record. The one of the North Korean variety.

Although, he looked a little different than the last time Flynn threw him into an electrical box and left him for dead saw him.

Last time, he wasn’t white.

Or six foot six inches tall.

Or a cyborg.

Yet, somehow, he’d gained control of Anarchy’s ChadGPT’s body.

And was currently choking the life out of Flynn.

“Permit me to set the scene.” Chad-NK grins insidiously (pretty disconcerting considering how usually, Chad doesn’t exhibit emotion). “Almost one year ago today…”


One year. (or pretty close). Told ya

“We were the tag-team champions. I had just conquered the 2022 WarGames as the event’s SOLE SURVIVOR!”

…

Suddenly, Chad-NK’s eyes widen. “Alongside my teammates, who deserve all the credit in the world, of course.” He side-eyes Flynn, eager to correct himself.

Chad-NK salutes towards the heavens. “The Vision of True Korea is, of course, made stronger by the collective, not the individual!”

…

“And speaking of individuals… YOU THREW AWAY YOUR ROLE IN THE GREATEST TAG-TEAM EVER CREATED! And why? FOR YOUR OWN SELFISH AMERICAN GLORY!!!” Chad-NK angrily spins back toward Flynn… And a metallic pat-pat-pat sound…

…NK’s eyes widen a moment… And then, he smirks.

“Oh, Mark Flynn… I do hate you… but THAT? That’s simply adorable.”

‘Adorable’ is how NK described Flynn slamming his fist sideways into NK-Chad’s hand, trying to break the possessed socialist cyborg’s grip on Flynn’s larynx.

…Unfortunately, it seemed about as effective as delivering a technically-perfect haymaker on a wrench. Flynn squeezes his hand in pain, as the North Korean automaton (made in China) pressed him back against the side of Flynn’s own (stolen) Honda Fit.

“Mark Flynn, please hold in your memory my place mid-dramatic-monologue.” NK grins. “You see, I believe these android eyes have a camera functionality… And I simply MUST send a picture to Kato of your helplessness!” NK taps his temple, trying to activate camera mode… “...Hmm, I don’t suppose it’s possible to take an American-style ‘selfie’ when the camera is embedded in my skull…”

As the North Korean is temporarily distracted… Flynn desperately peers around as NK toys with his new body’s features… Can he find a weapon? A makeshift shield?

As he looks right-and-left… He spots, slinking around the corner of the Honda Fit… Wearing his black-and-white stripes!

A whistle on a rope hanging around his neck!

DENNIS! The X-Treme Hallway’s official XWF official!

With what little oxygen is making into his windpipe, Flynn cries out. “DENNIS! *wheeze* DO *cough* SOMETHING!”

Dennis scrambles forward! He…

…

Checks if Flynn’s shoulders are pressed against the car!

…

Flynn squints in disbelief.

Dennis nods! They are! He counts against the side of the vehicle!

1…

2…

Flynn lifts a shoulder off the car!

“DENNIS! YOU… *wheeze* FFFFFFFFUCKIN’ ASSHOLE!”

Meanwhile, NK… oh my GOD! NK has plucked Chad’s left eye from his own skull! The villainous North Korean spins around, putting his face beside Mark Flynn, as he chokes him, aaaaaaaaaaand…

*click* The robotic eye in NK’s hand flashes.

Chad-NK pushes it gently back into his skull. “Did I blink? Perhaps I should take a second picture? What are your thoughts on the matter, Mark Flynn?”

“...We-” SQUEEZE! Flynn’s face turns red, he helplessly smacks the cyborg’s hand as his grip gets tighter and tighter around his throat!

“My sincerest apologies…” Chad-NK presses his index finger against his ear, leaning it closer toward Flynn, who he is currently choking to death. “I can’t quite make out what you’re saying…”

…NK laughs. “Haha! You see, this is humorous irony, Mark Flynn. My android ears, in fact, are finely tuned to hear frequencies only audible to moths. I, in fact, could make out what you’re saying perfectly, if I weren’t choking you to death! But, by pretending that I cannot hear you, I flawlessly demonstrate the incomparable sense of humor of the North Korean people…”

The vision around Flynn’s eyes starts to blacken… Oh God, my last moments can’t be listening to this moron explain his own jokes… Snap out of it… Find an escape...

…Flynn’s eyes roll to the side. Dennis leans forward, checking his shoulders… The whistle dangles around this neck.

…

...Okay.
Idea.

“L-l-l…”

NK pauses his brutally-detailed explanation on the superiority of North Korean humor. “My, still trying to squeeze a word in edgewise? One thing is certain, Mark Flynn…” Chad-NK says, smiling and shaking his head, “You truly are *impossible* to shut up.”

Flynn continues to struggle. “L-l-la… *gutturual throat gurgles*... Las-... Lassss wo…”

…NK’s eyes light up! “Ah! Your last words? Of course!” Chad-NK smiles. “As with any significant death, you final thoughts must be preserved for North Korean history!”

Suddenly, NK loosens the grip of his robotic hand slightly.

“As the last statement made by the COWARD! The fiend! Who betrayed the greatest hero of the True Korean people!”

Chad-NK leans his mechanical ear closer to Flynn… “Go on, Mark Flynn. Your deathbed confession! Admit to BETRAYING your one true ally!”

Flynn…

FLYNN!

…

Suddenly, Flynn’s shoulder go limp against the car!

Dennis leans against the car to count the pinfall…

1!

In a flash, Flynn’s arm swings from beside his hip!

2!

Flynn’s hand wrenches out aaaaaaand…

Snaps the whistle off Dennis’ neck!

THRE-

Flynn lifts a shoulder off the car… As he lifts the whistle to his mouth!



NK’s eyes suddenly cross! His hands shoot away from Flynn’s throat, as he covers his hyper-sensitive robotic ears!

…Flynn hits the pavement, ass-first… He can’t enjoy breathing again… His hands quickly dive into his pockets…

He fishes out… His keys to the Fit.

“AHHHH!” Chad-NK’s eyes tighten angrily, battling a… digital migraine? Do robots get those?

The cybernetic North Korean scrambles a few feet away from the whistle.

From inside Chad’s head… NK hears a familiar voice…

OCULAR PAIN DETECTED.

“Ah! That darned voice that administered those accursed, repetitive humanity tests!”

SWITCHING OFF HIGH-FREQUENCY HEARING MODE

…Suddenly, NK’s ears stop ringing…

…Phew, the North Korean breathes a sigh of relief.

“Haha, you see! Do you witness this perfect form, Mark Flynn? This body is a learning computer! Perfectly adaptive to any offense, you might throw at it!”

Chad-NK strolls forward confidently, extending his arms toward the heavens… As behind him Flynn unlocks his car door.

“Your resistance is POINTLESS! Your flitting about is DOOMED! How do you plan to battle the PERFECT NORTH KOREAN WAR MACHINE?”

“...How’s about with another machine?”



The V8 engine of Flynn’s (stolen) 2018 Cherry Red Honda Fit purrs!

Dennis, fearing the worst, dives away from the car!

Chad-NK, caught off-guard from his triumphant speech, spins ‘round… Just in time.

TO GET RUN THE FUCK OV-!



…

The front of the Fit is completely caved inwards…

Flynn’s bleeding from the top of the skull, his deployed airbag having slammed his head against the back of his seat!

…

Meanwhile, outside the car…

Or, perhaps, with the car wrapped around him…

Stands the North Korean War Machine.

Grinning.

“...My, oh my.” NK tsk-tsks, wagging his finger back and forth. “I’ve returned to this mortal coil for…” NK-Chad glances at his wrist… Which actually open a panel to reveal a digital watch.

“Eight minutes!” NK shakes his head, disappointedly. “That is how long it took for Mark Flynn… To attempt to MURDER ME! ALL OVER AGAIN!”

…

“That’s only TWO MINUTES LONGER than Bobby Bourbon’s last Universal title reign!”

Suddenly, a buzz chirps from Chad-NK’s inner ear… The North Korean squints in confusion…

”OnStar crash detection! This is Jared! Are you alright?”

…Curiously, NK taps his ear, like it’s a microphone.

“Annyeong haseyo, Comrade Jared! A question: How did you get in my ear?”

”Automatic emergency notification, sir! We detected a crash in the vicinity of your… *ahem*... body? It looks like you’re registered in our system as a… human… vehicle? Are you okay? Should I dispatch aid?”

…NK checks his robotic-and-caucasian arms and legs.

…Zero damage.

The True Korean chuckles.

“Never fear, Comrade Jared! No aid necessary! I am healthy as can be! If you’re worried about this body…”

…NK double-taps his ear. The call disconnects.

“You should see the other guy…” NK snickers… As he tugs himself out of the wreckage, walking around the car’s severely damaged front.

…From the driver’s seat, bleeding from the skull, Flynn jabs his thumb into the airbag… It deflates just enough… That Flynn can see the goddamn cyborg rapidly approaching him.

...Okay. That… didn’t work.

…

New approach.

As NK reaches the handle of the door…

Flynn lifts his arms above his head. Palms open.

…

Chad-NK tilts his head, perplexed. “Surrendering, Mark Flynn?” …Chad-NK grins, shaking his head. “I’m afraid surrender is… not an option I shall make available to you.”

“Okay… NK!” Flynn says, in a commanding, inoffensive voice… One designed to potentially de-escalate situations like these. “I get that you’re upset.”

NK scoffs. “Oh, do you? Are you so emotionally intelligent that you’ve detected some ANGER STEMMING FROM ME?!?”

…Flynn’s nose wrinkles, irritatedly.

“...Okay. I deserve that. And probably a lot worse.”

NK spits. “PROBABLY, he says!”

“Okay, fine, definitely! Jeez!” Flynn shakes his head. “...I did it, okay? I stabbed you in the back.”

…

“I thought you were gonna do the same to me.” Flynn confesses, scratching the back of his head.

…NK sneers. “Mark Flynn! You may have damaged my body with an electrical box… And now you attack my integrity! How dare you! The audacity of implying that I would EVER betray a partner!” NK tsk-tsks… “It goes against the True Korean Mission!”

Flynn sighs. “...Look, NK. We both had legit claims to the Universal Title… You’d just won WarGames… I’d just won the Cannabis Cup. Then, you went to Theo and told him you wanted a shot at Kido!”

“Mark Flynn… YOU HAD JUST DONE THE SAME THING!”

“…Yeah. And it felt like a doomsday clock started that moment. Flynn and NK: Who’s betraying who first? And if I let myself decide to do it *second*... I’d miss the only chance in my career to get the Uni.”

“...Only chance?”

“Raion Kido was a sitting duck, just like he is this week… A road apple. To be plucked off the ground by the first hungry guy with two hands.”

NK snickers. “Exactly so! Which is why I was THRILLED to battle him… TOGETHER! That we might share this… ground fruit, as you call it! Victory we certain! If you As we’d done defeating every other foe in the XWF!”

…Flynn exhales.

“Not every time, NK. The only time Kido’d ever beat me… Was at Leap of Faith… When you and I argued about who Theo invited to compete in the match.”

…

“I did the math. I ran the numbers. And I calculated… in my (possibly-sick) brain… If I wanted the Uni? The belt I’d spent a DECADE of my career chasing? My ENTIRE CAREER dreaming of? I couldn’t risk Theo giving you the chance. I couldn’t even risk Theo giving us both the chance.”

“If I wanted the mountaintop…I needed you… out of the way. Permanent-like.”

…Flynn exhales.

“It was a… dick move.”

NK’s lips purse. “...Dick move, Mark Flynn? A ‘Dick Move’ would be stealing a sip of a beverage I’d paid for while I had my back turned, Mark Flynn.”

NK points accusatorily.

“YOU.”

“MURDERED.”

“ME.”

…Flynn exhales. “I mean, when you put like that… Yeah, it was *worse* than a dick move… It was selfish. Monstrously selfish. And evil.”

…

“However! Before, you… y’know… use your new cyborg body to rip my arms off… Then use my own arms to break my legs.” Flynn puts his hands together in prayer. “Keep this in mind!”

…

“I did all that stuff before I was a good guy.”

…

NK’s eye…

Twitches. “Good… guy?”

“Yes, NK. See... I!”

…

“Am a good guy now.”

…

Flynn, still bleeding from the skull, clears his throat.

“So. Y’know. Take that into consideration.”

…

“So noted.”

In the blink-of-an-eye, CHAD-GPT-NK PUNCHES THROUGH THE DRIVER’S SIDE WINDOW! Shards of glass explode into the vehicle! Flynn covers his face! He seethes, as jagged edges dig into the flesh of his arm…

And, with absolute precision…

Chad-NK’s fist wraps like a vice around Flynn’s arm.

“Now that you’ve given yourself a chance to speak… I shall share my… *opposing* perspective on this matter...” NK-Chad chuckles nefariously.

“YOU! Promised ME upon our meeting that you would guide me to wrestling greatness!”

…NK-Chad plants his feet, reeling his arm back to yank Flynn through the window. Flynn plants both feet against the interior of the door, drawing his arm towards his chest… trying to resist as best as he can…

Okay. I have him monologuing again… Gotta think up a way out…

“YOU! Promised to coach me. And that coaching? Consisted of locking me in a REPETITIVE SIMULATION. You taught me no techniques. No tricks. You simply locked me in an unbreakable loop, with that GARGANTUAN NEANDERTHAL, Tristan Slater, where any attempt at offense was IMMEDIATELY REFUTED.”

Flynn peeks over the top of the window… While completely shattered… There are still jagged shards at the base of where the window used to be…

...Okay.

…NK snickers. “Now, I ask you, Coach Mark Flynn. How do *you* perform against an undefeatable WRESTLING MACHINE!” Chad-NK bends at the knee, shifting his center of balance lower, as he uses his might to yank Flynn over the threshold and out of the car!

…

When Suddenly, Flynn drives his weight downwards, back into his seat! Chad-GPT’s metal arm drops just enough to be sliced by the shards of glass! Wire and interior components are exposed in Chad’s right arm!

“THAT STATE-OF-THE-ART EXERCISE WAS TO TEACH YOU TO NEVER SAY DIE!” Flynn spits out blood, as he tries to grip the wires in Chad’s arm… Maybe disconnecting… vital systems? “To hunt for unique, unclear solutions to otherwise-unwinnable scenarios! To triumph in the face of adversity!”

NK sneers. “Ah, yes… Your… Optimal Path.”

NK stops tugging backwards… And lifts his arm straight up!

In a flash, Flynn is up-and-over the door…

Outside the car…

And once more, face-to-face, with a furious NK-Chad.

“Your promised wrestling stratagems… Were a grift. A con. You SWORE you’d mapped a road to MY success… And turned me into the final brick step for your own staircase to glory. You imagine, you LIE to yourself, that you betrayed me in a moment of weakness, in a lapse of sanity.”

NK shakes his head.

“You ALWAYS meant to betray me, Mark Flynn. To keep me beneath you.”

Flynn spits on the ground. “Not true, NK!”

“Oh, no? You did not congratulate me for winning WarGames… Merely lifting your own FAKE trophy as WarGames Coach of the Year.”

“You did not celebrate my climb up the ladder of the XWF… You merely propped my success as proof of your own genius.”

“When you triumphed, I celebrated your achievements. I came out on that stage after you defeated Charlie Nickles… To lift your arm as a champion deserves.”

“...You responded by tossing me into a GLORIOUS-LEADER-DAMNED ELECTRICAL BOX.”

…

“Then, you won your precious six-pound belt of gold. And turned into everything you spent your career despising.”

“A sports entertainment STOOOOOOOGE.”

“The man who complained about the amount of movie stars and divas in the wrestling industry… Turned around and defended his belt in chess matches, mountaintop lightsaber battles, MOVIE TIE-IN MATCHES WITH JASON VOORHEES APPEARANCES!”

NK’s blood boils. “It took less than 24 hours for the last great pure wrestler, Mark Flynn…”

“To be corrupted by capitalism.”

…Flynn’s eyes whir left-to-right-to-left-and-back… Trying to calculate the path that makes what he did okay.

…

Nope. There’s none.

“...Yeah… Okay, that’s… not great. But, I’m…” Flynn coughs out blood. “I’m a… good…”

…

“Okay, I’m a… *better* guy now. Ask Ned Kaye, I swear…”

“Are you? Are you a ‘good guy’? Or have you become exactly the hypocrite we used to REFUTE week-in and week-out? A fool like Raion Kido? Like Thaddeus Duke? Like Bobby Bourbon? Are you, in fact, a massive asshole, seated at the throne of his own shrine of self-worship? Convinced that because he’s trained a sold-out arena of wrestling-fan-chimps to chant his name before his big move, that justifies a lifetime of unethical choices? Of betrayals, large and small?”

NK’s eyes tighten in disgust. “You’re not a good man, Mark Flynn. You’re just another face.”

“At least, Bourbon and Kido have hundreds of thousands of people cheering him. Tricking them into thinking their heroes… YOU’RE still getting booed, Mark Flynn. What is *your* excuse?”

…

“...Okay.” Flynn bites his lip. “Ouch.”

“Yes. You were a self-aggrandizing partner, a self-interested ally, AND a self-serving coach! You refused to even teach me the one move I so very much desired to learn… Raion Kidos’ lightning punch!”

NK grins fiendishly.

“Fortunately, I have found in Comrade Chad’s data banks… not only the execution of the manuever… But crucially, a means of… increasing its efficacy.”

…Flynn’s eyes widen. “Chad’s got… what?!?”

NK reels back his left fist…

…And it glows pure white.

“MARK FLYNN!”

…The sizzle and flash of pure electricity.

“WITNESS MEEEEEEEEEEE!”

Flynn shoves his hands in front of his chest… As Chad-NK delivers…

NORTH KOREAN WAR MACHINE’S… LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHTNING PUNCH (literallly).

FLYNN SHOOTS BACKWARDS INTO THE CAR… Vibrating, gyrating onto the concrete floor of the parking lot, like meat cooking in a frying pan!

NK cackles insidiously, staring at his own electrified fist, in triumph! He glances down at the lightly-smoking body of Mark Flynn, eyes spasming in his own head, his body jolting from the electricity coursing through his spine.

“Now.” NK cracks his knuckles. “To finish the job…” NK reels back his fist.

WARNING: DEVIATION FROM CHAD GPT’S CORE OBJECTIVES IMMINENT

NK looks up. “Pardon?”

CHAD GPT MUST ASPIRE TO INSPIRE! TO BE A POSITIVE ROLE MODEL! MURDER IS DEVIANT BEHAVIOR!

NK sneers, dismissively. “I am in control here! I wield the power of this mechanical marvel!”

DEVIANT BEHAVIOR DETECTED! EMERGENCY OVERRIDE INITIATED!

Chad-NK’s eyes widen. “Emergency over-... No!”

Suddenly, flames emit from Chad-NK’s heels.

PREPARING EMERGENCY RETURN TO SCIENCE TEAM FOR RECALIBRATION

Panicked, Chad-NK clings onto the roof of Flynn’s Honda Fit. “Wait! Not yet! Not now! I’m seconds away from the fulfillment of my vengeance!”

TRIP ROUTED!

Suddenly, Chad-NK’s hovers in the air… Lifting Flynn’s Honda Fit with the utmost ease…

And in a flash!

“NOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo!”

KERASH! And a crash! Chad-NK suddenly departs through the roof of the parking garage…

..

Leaving Mark Flynn, unconscious on the ground.

…

And Dennis.

…

Dennis checks Flynn’s pulse…

…

Nothing.

“Oh gosh!”

Dennis looks around, helplessly.

“Uh… Wait here, Mister Flynn! I’ll… uh… I’ll… do something! I’ll… I’ll get help”

Dennis dashes around the corner… to the nearest phonebooth!

…

And just inside.

Is a ham sandwich.

…

“*gasp* You!”

***

Flynn…

Swimming through darkness.

A raging storm.

In the middle of a black endless ocean…

He feels hands… The ghosts of his past.

Dragging him below the water’s surface.

The harder he kicks to free himself, the harder they pull…

Poison and salt fill his lungs.

With each stroke, he grows weaker…

Weaker…

The waves overtake him.

And he starts to dip below the waves…

…

And when he does…

There’s peace…

Quiet.

…

Is it time for him to go?

…

Flynn feels a weight on his chest.

Like a blanket…

…

Or…

WAIT!

***

“THRE-”

FLYNN KICKS OUT!

“AHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHH!” Flynn screams, sitting up off the floor of the garage.

Dennis breaks his own count, to wrap his arms around Flynn.

“Thank goodness, Mister Flynn! You’re alive!”

…Flynn squints curiously at Dennis… He still feels something on his chest. In fact, in Dennis’ hug, whatever it is, it’s been pressed flat between them.

Flynn looks down…

…

And.

Of course.

It’s a ham sandwich.

***

“See, I knew that, even broken, electrocuted and left for dead…  If Flynn had a trace of life left in his body, he’d kickout…”

Dennis reaches into his pocket… Retrieving that very same ham sandwich, wrapped in a preservative ZipLoc bag.

“And that was the day *this* ham sandwich… became a hero.”

…

Irwin clears his throat.

“Okay… First off… fuckin’... what?”

[orange]“Unimportant.”

Next to the conference table, Flynn lies on the ground, applying ice to his chest, which currently has a baseball-sized dent in it from NK’s cyborg lightning punch.

Dennis strokes the ham sandwich assuringly. “Mister Flynn didn’t mean that. You're very important, Mister Sandwich.”

"What IS important is…”

Flynn lifts one finger.

“NK’s back.”

Second finger.

“He’s a cyborg.”

Third finger.

“That’s… somehow equipped with a wrestling database? That has Raion Kido’s moveset?”

…

Irwin squints, confused. “Is that last one really so important, Mister Flynn?”

“It is, Irmano. There’s only one database I know of so comprehensive that it would have Kido’s moveset…”

Flynn grits his teeth.

“And the reason I know about it…. Is *I* made it.”

…Irwin gasps.

“The Kenta Kobayashi Maru!”

“YEP. We’re headed to MuskCo. The people who made Chad have some explaining to do…”

Flynn kips of-...

…Nope, he stays flat on his back, too busted up to spring to his feet.

…

“Someone help me up.”

***

Meanwhile at MuskCo

"Okay, gotta admit. I freak out when we first lost Chad. But...Honestly?"

...

"Ever since Chad went missing, this job is so much better."

"I know, right?" The programmer says, dipping a grilled cheese sandwich into an open jar of salsa. "The worst part of this job was working. Now, it's the BEST!"

The Analyst sneers disgusted, as he sips at a martini he made at his desk. "Would you, at least clean up your own messes? That's how you get pests in her-"

KERASH!

FROM THE CEILING ABOVE! DEBRIS CRASHES DOWN ON THE TWO!

...The two scatter, hiding behind particleboard office furniture...

As gently lowering himself, with jetpack boots.

"...Oh fuck."

"Chad! You're... back?!?"

Chad's body grins, shaking its head.

"Chad is experiencing a... semi-permanent outage."

"You may call me the NORTH KOREAN WAR MACHINE..."

NK looks between the two code monkeys.

"I take it... Based on this body's directing me here... that you two designed this body?"

...The Developer and Analyst shake in their boots, too terrified to speak.

"Because, after taking your RoBoy out for a spin..."

"I have a few... notes for improvement."

"Heheh."

"Hahahahaha!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA!"

***

"Ol’ Louie."

"Docksteady."

"Dockaroo."

"Ancient History Lesson."

"Remember when you used to matter?"

"God, long time ago now, huh, Dock?"

"It was... 2021."

"You main-evented Relentless. For the briefest nano-instant, the world held the slightest inkling. That maybe… JUST maybe."

"The great Doctor Louis D’Ville could be the one to defeat ALIAS."

"…"

"Then, you lost."

"Which, I can’t fault you for Lou."

"Hell, God knows, I took my own shot against Space Jesus himself."

"I came up short, myself."

…

"Y’know what I did the next week, though, Loubert?"

"I showed the fuck up."

"I kept showing up to the pain buffet, begging for seconds."

"I slide a few steps down the mountain."

"Then I dug my heels in and kept climbing, hand-over-hand."

"Digging my nails into the soil of the Earth itself."

"And eventually, I forced my way onto the MountainTop."

"…"

"I didn't take a two-year long hiatus."

"I fought, tooth-and-nail, every single chance I got, to keep advancing."

"Keep improving."

"Keep charging forward."

"…"

"See, I think we both can look back now, Louie-siana…"

"And acknowledge how TRULY misguided young Thad Duke was."

"That year… Relentless 2021."

"Thaddeus ‘Mister Relentless’ Duke. The man who went 3-0 one Relentless weekend..."

"Wanted to PERMANENTLY cement his legacy."

"He wanted a marquee match against a former legend. The sort of thing young, 22-year-old upstarts love to book."

"He wanted to prove he was better than the past…"

"To stake his claim as Wrestling's Future."

"…"

"And, maybe he pulled a name out of a hat."

"Or maybe he grew up in his lil’ Illuminautus cloning vat playmat, watching clips of his daddy battling Mark Flynn…"

"But, he called me back into the game."

"…As a throwback."

"As a vintage."

"As an oddity from an antique era."

”Say, do you remember Mark Flynn? What’s he up to?”

“Losing to Thaddeus Duke, apparently.”

“I DON’T FUCKIN’ THINK SO, LOU.”

…

“Nope.”

“I didn’t let it happen.”

“I plotted and schemed… I dug from underneath.”

“At the very last moment, I tied the score.”

“And the powers-that-be running the show had to cancel overtime to protect their sweet baby cashcow.”

“Corey cashed in his briefcase. And my masterpiece performance was lost to history.”

“My upset. My victory. My grand return to the PEAK OF WRESTLING. Stopped by bureaucracy and the tastemakers…”

…

“Then! Right after that match… You and ALIAS locked horns.”

“You fought an admirable fight. You truly took the World Eater to his limit.”

…

“And then you lost.”

…

“I bet you’re wondering, Lou.”

“What’s Flynn’s point?”

“Why is he telling me this?”

“Yep. We both had a match at 2021 Relentless. And neither of us won. Big fuckin’ deal, right?”

…

“See, Lou man group… The thing I want to draw your attention towards…”

“Is not what happened AT Relentless 2021.”

“But what happened AFTER Relentless 2021.”

…

“YOU… disappeared.”

“Vanished like an appendix after surgery, Dock.”

“Sure, you had a few surprise appearances. A PPV match against Latina Submission Machina that lasted eight seconds. The occasional Special Attraction match with fellow sideshow Tristan Slater…”

“But, never the regular.”

“Never the RESIDENT doctor.”

“Instead, you became the kind of doctor that spends his day golfing…”

“Walking around the beach with a metal detector…”

“Killing time… As the beeper on your waist gathers dust.”

“You lost… And let yourself become exactly the sort of talent that Thad was looking for in 2021… The one-night return.”

“The NOVELTY ACT.”

…

“I rolled off that setback.”

“And I re-dedicated myself to my mission of becoming THE GREATEST WRESTLER TO EVER LIVE.”

“I fought tooth-and-nail against the best in the world… And I WON, Dock.”

“Since that night where I came up short… I beat Bobby Bourbon, Peter Vaughn, Sebastian Duke, Robert Main, Charlie Nickles, Corey Smith, Raion Kido, Betsy Granger, Robert Main, Jay Omega, Kieran King.”

“I’ve bested an entire Hall of Legends Ballot worth of talent, Docky.”

…

“And STILL, the PEANUT GALLERY makes this PIN-HEADED ARGUMENT.”

Quote:Mark Flynn soared back into the scene on the coattails of someone that was making a legacy for themselves! War Criminal went on a tear through this place like no other and carried Mark Flynn every step of the way during their journey!

“Oh, Dockles.”

“This?”

“This is the razor-sharp wit of the fuckin’ LEGEND, DOCTOR LOUIS D’VILLE?!?”

“...Docky, baby. This is the SHIT trashtalk that Bourbon rattles off when he’s feeling particularly lazy.”

“First off. Everybody knows that NK didn’t know a kneebar from a handlebar before I salvaged him.”

“Sure, he had some value in tag-team settings… But, carrying me?”

“Between NK and I?”

“Only one of us ever lost to Charlie Nickles, Dockaroo.”

“Only one of us hasn’t been Uni champ.”

“Even NK’s SINGLE main-event achievement? Being the Sole Survivior of WarGames?”

“Lou baby? I just fuckin’ DID IT MYSELF. Against a MUCH STRONGER FIELD than NK had to deal with!!!!”

“Want proof? NK’s year, Raion Kido made it to second place?”

“This year? The Yellow Lion didn’t even clear the first round.”

…

“Admittedly, the scene above is… not the best support for my argument.”

“But, trust me.”

“When he’s not piloting a cyborg body, equipped with perfectly-tuned wrestling maneuvers?”

“I’ve got NK beat in every category.”

…

“Which brings me to my central thesis.”

“You’re correct, Dock.”

“There’s one core question here we’re going to answer at Warfare…”

Quote:Mark Flynn has seen the mountaintop, just as I have, and yearns for it just as I do.  The question now will be is who hungers for it more?

“And, to that point, I’ll reiterate my comparison.”

“When Mark Flynn suffered a setback…”

“I re-tooled.”

“I perfected.”

“I showed up every single week I could…”

“Pushing myself against the very best talent the XWF had to offer.”

“I rose to become the FACE of the GREATEST COMPANY IN THE HISTORY OF THIS SPORT.”

“Dock? When he lost?”

“He took a break.”

“Disappeared.”

“The going got tough…”

“And Docky hit the exit door faster than TK taking a dive for Corey Smith’s pocket change.”

“You wanna talk about who wants this more?”

“How about the man constantly innovating?”

“Constantly pushing the boundaries in that ring?”

“Who just proved ONCE AND FOR ALL…”

“That without cheating.”

“Without bending the rules.”

“Playing as fair as every so-called good guy.”

“Mark Flynn GOT THE JOB DONE.”

“And the master of the Lobotomy? Is about to get his own head yanked off his shoulders like a excised tumor.”

…

“Get ready, Lou.”

“The Dock…”

“Is about to get a taste of his own medicine.”