The party stands about Dolly in trepidation, unsure after all this time just what to expect. Dolly looks to all of them in turn before shrugging.

Fuck it, here it goes.

With that, Dolly starts to rub the lamp. Corey winces. Dionysus looks fascinated. Soldier looks…high? Or maybe it’s also fascinated. Tough to tell.

At first, nothing happens. A pregnant silence wades throughout the environs. They all look at each other. And then, quite abruptly, the lamp starts to grow hot to the touch.

Ow! Dolly barks. She tosses it back and forth from hand to hand before she can’t take the pain anymore and simply drops it.

Oh, I hope he’s not pissed. Corey murmurs.

And then, the lamp starts to bounce and pop on the ground, and then a purple gas starts to emit from the opening. The gas expands mightily in the air until it starts to coalesce into a vaguely humanoid form. Before long, floating before them and towering above them, is the djinn. His arms are crossed, and he huffs out the last of the purple gaseous substance before speaking.

WHO HAS SUMMONED ME? The djinn bellows.

The party each take an instinctive step back from this being that is obviously rippling with power. The djinn narrows his blackened eyes at them in turn before Dolly steps forward and speaks.

I did. And we need your help to take out some major assholes. And I guess, uh, wishes would be cool too.

The djinn’s expression turns stony. And then he frowns.

WHAT….ASSHOLES?

You know…coworkers.

I SEE….

Screw that! Soldier hollers. Let’s get to the wishes!

Perhaps we should show some due deference. Dionysus replies, shooting a tentative look at the djinn.

The djinn’s expression turns annoyed. IS THIS THE PART WHERE YOU FIGHT AMONGST YOURSELVES TO SEE WHO GOES FIRST? COULD WE JUST SKIP PAST THAT AND PICK SOMEONE?

The party looks somewhat surprised by the djinn’s candor, until Dolly is once again the one to speak up.

I’ll decide who goes first. She turns to Corey. You’re on deck.

Corey looks shocked. Me? You want me to go first?

Maybe I’m not such a selfish bitch all the time, eh? Make ‘em good ‘Cor.

Corey looks at Soldier and Dionysus. Is it okay with you guys if I’m first.

No. Soldier grunts. Your wishes better not suck, Corey!

Dionysus nods his head. The floor is yours, young man.

Corey returns his attention to the djinn. How many wishes do I get?

DO YOU SERIOUSLY NOT KNOW THIS ALREADY?

Is it…three?

YES, OF COURSE. The djinn huffs.

Okay, okay! I know what I’m going to wish for. Exactly what I said I’d do. I wish for world peace.

SO GRANTED.

….wow. Really? Just like that? Hey, guys, I just made world peace! I just-

I said no lame ass wishes, Corey! Soldier steps to the fore. So I wish for WORLD WAR, BABY!

What?! No!!

SO GRANTED.

Corey steps out in front of Soldier. I wish to undo Soldier’s last wish!

SO GRANTED.

Ahahahahahahahahaha! I just made Corey waste a wish!

Corey wheels on Unknown Soldier, expression written over with fury. This isn’t a fucking game you asshole!

Corey, when are you going to pull the stick out of your ass and realize all of life is a game? That’s all it is! Soldier cajoles, poking Corey in the ribs. Now hurry up and make your last stupid wish.

Corey sighs and turns back around. Fine, if I can’t have world peace then maybe something smaller. Something decent. Unknown Soldier killed my friend Joachim Bright. That should have never happened. So my final wish is for him to be alive and well and at my compound.

SO GRANTED. The djinn repeats again.

Corey, for a moment, looks overcome with emotion. He looks to Soldier again and speaks. So are you going to fuck over this one too?

Soldier smirks. Nah. And honestly I still don’t even remember offing the kid. So I’m glad you got your friend back or whatever. Soldier waves his hand at Corey dismissively and yawns. Can we get on with this? Am I next or what?

Dolly looks to the remaining members of her team.

Go ahead Dio… it’s yer’ turn

Dionysus rolled his eyes. "Well we may as well get this over with," he said.

"BUT-" interrupted Soldier,

"Sorry friend," Dionysus interrupted, "But if you wanted to get ahead of me, you should've said something sooner." Dionysus stepped forward, beholding the Wishmonger. "Great and mighty djinn, I humbly ask that you grant my request."

"Ooooh, so formal!" Dolly teased. "Told you you were a complete dork!"

Dionysus shook his head. "The last thing I want to do is piss this thing off," he growled. Dolly kept giggling, but backed off. He shook his head, turning back to the Wishmonger.


"WELL?!" The creature bellowed. "WHAT IS IT THAT YOU WISH FOR?"


Dionysus looked to the rest of his companions, now suddenly timid in revealing what he would reveal. But what would Elbrook have said at this moment? Probably something like 'showing vulnerability at the right time can pay off,' or something else that crawled out of a fortune cookie. He took a deep breath, then began. "For the longest time, I have managed to make a good life for myself. I'm a moderately successful and respected wrestler-" he paused waiting for the group to stop snorting and giggling behind his back. Shaking his head, he continued, "As I said, I am a successful wrestler, a great philanthropist, and a moderately successful businessman. But lately, I feel like my life is pulling me in a number of different directions, all requiring my time to be spent at one place or another. Having missed a number of appointments and dates, I am unsure how this lifestyle will continue."


"SO THEN," The Wishmonger loudly proclaimed, "YOU WISH FOR ALL OF YOUR ENDEAVORS TO BE SUCCESSFUL?"

"...What? No, that would be really boring," Dionysus said matter-of-factly.

"YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO WISH FOR WHAT YOU WANT, AND YOU DON'T WANT THAT?!"

"How does that make life worth living?!" Dionysus retorted. "I don't wish to always be successful! One wish is not enough for the goal I have in mind; so if possible, I would like to use all three of my wishes to allow me the ability to be everywhere I would like to be at one time!" Dionysus's emotions got the better of him, and he lowered his voice, saying, "My apologies, I did not mean to-"

"SUCH A POWER IS NOT MEANT FOR A MORTAL," The Wishmonger spoke. He stroked his chin, his smile twisting into a sickening grin. "BUT...I THINK I KNOW WHAT I CAN DO."

Before Dionysus could even move, The Wishmonger pointed a finger at Dionysus, firing off a beam of chromatic energy at the man. A euphoric wave washed over Dionysus, feeling hot and cold, tired and stimulated, all at the same time. As the color washed over him, the others stared on as his body began to glow. His silhouette shimmered, looking as though it would be torn apart, before a bright flash filled the room.

Dionysus gasped, putting his hands onto his body and checking to see if he were still alive. He had never felt more alive. “What a rush!” he exclaimed…before realizing that his voice echoed much more than normal. He turned around to see three other men were near him…all with vaguely similar appearances to Dionysus. One wore dark clothing and had a brooding demeanor, another wore casual clothes and seemed laid back. The final one was wide. Very wide. The widest man he had ever seen in his life. “AHHHH!!!” All four exclaimed, pointing at each other in the classic Spider-man point. “What…but…how-”

“YOU DESIRE TO BETTER MANAGE YOUR LIFE, AND TO BE EXACTLY WHERE YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU NEED TO. AND SO YOUR WISH HAS BEEN GRANTED THRICEFOLD,” The Wishmonger explained. “THESE WILL ACT AS YOUR SURROGATES; USE THEM AS YOU SEE FIT.”

Dolly was slackjawed. “You have got to be kidding me!”

Soldier screamed, “YEEEEEEAH, NOW THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKIN’ ABOUT!”

Corey simply blinked, stunned by what he had just witnessed.

Dionysus looked at each new man in turn. “I suppose I should have made my wish more clear…but I think I will enjoy this. What should I call them?” He addressed The Wishmonger.

“THEY ARE YOUR CREATIONS, YOU NAME THEM AS YOU SEE FIT.”

Dionysus turned to the brooding one. “I think I will call you…Daniel,” he said, Daniel nodding in approval of his name and cracking his knuckles. He turned to the aloof, laid back man. “Lets go with Devin for you,” he continued. Devin chuckled, muttering a “yeeeeah man,” under his breath. Then Dionysus turned to the wide man. “And I think you will be-”

“WIIIIIDE DIOOOOOOOO!” Shouted Soldier.

“THE WISHMONGER SAID I COULD-”

“Nah, I’m cool with it,” Wide Dio blubbered out. “Fits me kinda nice, y’know?”

“Ignoring wide load for a second,” Daniel interrupted, “I didn’t ask to be here. But you want me helping you, so I’m going to do that.” Daniel was aggressive, but also seemed fiercely loyal.

“Yeeeah man,” Devin chimed in. “You need an extra hand here or there, just say the word and we’ll show up.”

“We got this,” Wide Dio said, slapping his meaty chest.

Dionysus couldn’t help but smile. These men looked like brothers to him. Actual brothers. Being an only child, he often wondered what that feeling would be like. And The Wishmonger had given him something even greater than his ability to cope better. “I thank you. When the world looks upon The Many Faces of Dionysus, they will know a man who is more complex than can possibly be imagined. Bring it in, guys!” He rallied, holding his arms out wide. Wide Dio happily crushed Dionysus with a hug, followed after by Devin. The three looked over at Daniel, who stared them down with a scowl, then rolled his eyes, hugging the group as best he could.



WELL…isn’t that sweet. Soldier chimes in. But I’ve waited long enough. It’s MY turn. And I have my own injustice to roll back!

GO ON…

A little while back the XWF shitcanned a great man,. A man of talent, poise and dignity. And the XWF has sucked dick and balls without him. So I wish to bring back PETER GILMOUR!

Corey hides his face in his hand. Oh Jesus why?

SO GRANTED.

Then, with a poof of the same purple smoke from before, a man stands before them all. He’s diminutive, with a shrugging posture, glasses, and a balding pate. He’s also definitely not Peter Gilmour.

“What the fuck is this?!”

The man turns around to see the djinn, and damn near wets himself. “Wha-what’s going on? Oh Jesus, am I in hell? Is this the devil?!”

You should be so lucky! Seriously djinn, what’s this crap?!

I HAVE BROUGHT YOU PETER GILMOUR.

No you didn’t!

“Actually, um….my name is Peter Gilmour.” The man stammers out.

No, no, no! Soldier hollers. This is the wrong one! Djinn, I wish for MY Peter Gilmour to return.

SO GRANTED.

And then, standing amongst them is…Peter Gilmour.

‘Sup suckwads? Peter (the real one, we’ll call him Gilly), flashes them all the finger.

GILLY!!!! Soldier runs up to his friend and envelops him in a hug. Sorry to get so gay, I’m just…I can’t believe it’s you!

You’re right, this IS gay. Gilly peels Soldier off of him. But it’s good to see you too man. I can’t wait to get back to the XWF and….

But Unknown Soldier is looking at the other Peter Gilmour with a concerned expression on his face.

What’s wrong, bubs?

Well, it’s just that…now there’s TWO Gilly’s?!

Gilly looks back at Peter. I don’t know who that homo is but it’s not me.

I….I’m so confused!

What’s your problem?

Dolly, help me! Which Gilly is the real one?!

Did you have a stroke or something?

I can’t tell the difference!

Gilly looks seriously annoyed. Dude, that guy looks nothing like me!

He looks exactly like you!

The rest of the team looks on, incredulous and unspeaking.

You’ll just have to…YOU’LL JUST HAVE TO FIGHT TO THE DEATH! Until we have the one true Gilly!

Just then, a sword appears in each Peter’s hands. Dolly looks up at the djinn. Who just smirks in response.

YES! FIGHT TO THE DEATH! Soldier chants.

Dude, this is fucking gay as shit! I’m not fighting this guy to the death!

“YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHH!” The other Peter runs in screaming and jams his sword right into Gilly’s neck! Arterial blood starts to splurt out everywhere as the team members cover their faces in shock!

Holy shit!

Gilly, holding a plaintive hand out towards Soldier, falls to his knees, burbling and gurgling up blood as it passes between his lips. Finally, he keels over and dies. Meanwhile, Peter looks at his bloodied sword.

Corey looks to Peter. You just killed Gilly!

“I’m from Compton. I don’t fuck around.” Peter declares proudly.

Soldier moves over to Peter and raises his free hand in the air triumphantly. Welcome back Gilly!

“Well, nobody’s ever called me Gilly before and quite frankly you kinda creep me out so I’m gonna move over there.” Peter starts to walk away from Soldier, but isn’t watching where’s going and slips in Gilly’s pooling blood. To everyones shock and horror, Peter falls on his sword and dies.

Soldier, looking anguished, cries out! Noooooooooooooooooo! He runs over to Peter’s body, cradling him as he twitches and dies. It’s not fair! He just came back! I just got him back and now he’s dead!

With Soldier out of wishes, Dolly hasn’t noticed that the Wishmonger is staring her down, as her focus is centered on Unknown Soldier’s sadness over once again losing his dear friend Gilly. She approaches Soldier and places a hand on his shoulder.

I wish I knew what could end this sadness for you, Soldier. I don’t want an unhappy teammate, and as crazy as it sounds, I don’t think you deserve to feel so lonely.[/dolly

SO GRANTED - - -

[dolly]Wait! No!

WHAT WOULD END THE UNKNOWN SOLDIER’S UNHAPPINESS IS SEEING ALL OF THE CANCEL-CULTURE LIBTARDS IN PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING BURNED ALIVE, RESULTING IN A SLOW AND AGONIZING DEATH!

...fuck, by SATAN! He’s RIGHT!

Soldier grabs Dolly and hugs her almost as tightly as he hugged Gilly,

I would’ve never come to terms with my innermost truths if it weren’t for you Dolly! I swear, as SATAN! As my witness, after I’m finished slaughtering those swine who oppose us at WarGames, I’ll embark on my task of true happiness at once!

Wow Dolly… Corey approaches her smiling What a selfless wish!

Yeah, that I didn’t mean to make!

But look at Soldier! I haven’t seen him this motivated, well… ever, outside of smoking meth I don’t think. I think this bodes well for the team! 

But if I were worried about wishes that would help our team, I would just wish that we were already in Tokyo, preparing for the match!

SO GRANTED- - -

NO GODDAM-

In a flash of an eye, the team, along with the Djinn appear outside of a wrestling gym in downtown Tokyo. The citizens on the streets begin to scream in horror at the sight of the giant Djinn floating in the skies above.

There’s mass panic, car wrecks, helicopters crashing into skyscrapers and rockets firing from naval ships.

All the while, Dolly stands there with her arms folded, a nasty scowl bending over her face.

See what you made me do, Corey? Another goddamn wish wasted!

But think of it this way, at least we’re already in Tokyo, and now we don’t have to worry about escaping that godforsaken temple in time… and look!

Corey points over to Soldier, Dionysus and his crew, who are running toward the gym,

The team has plenty of time now to prepare for the match!

Dolly rolls her eyes,

I wish you weren’t so- she catches herself breathes deep while covering her mouth as Corey’s eyes pop from his skull,

What were you going to say…

Something stupid. Something that would’ve ruined our chances to win.

Okay, well I’m going to get out of your way before I influence anymore of your wishes.

Corey heads for the gym, as Dolly turns toward the Djinn…
WHAT IS YOUR FINAL WISH?

I wish that - - -

-MOMENTS LATER, INSIDE OF THE GYM-

The team is inside of the ring, taking lead from Corey on their match strategy when suddenly the door opens.

Alright boys, let’s get to work!

Everyone stops and looks at Dolly and-

Who the heck is that?

Oh him? she looks over at the tall, intimidatingly muscular man flanking her, I’m surprised you don’t recognize him. This is my new wish-granting, personal assistant, Jinn.

The team lets out a collective, anxious gulp,

What? Did you really think I was gonna’ settle fer’ just three wishes? Gotta’ use yer’ brain, boys. It’s what’s gonna’ give us the edge at WarGames.
—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So before I talk about my final shatterpoint, there is a certain party I feel I’ve neglected. A party that has had a whole bunch to say about me. And that party?

Fuck you, Doc.

Yeah, we’re gonna get right into it. This motherfucker who literally has “devil” in his name and wants to ascribe ill intentions to others. You know how I know you’re a bad person? Because you automatically assume my decency is rooted in ulterior motives. I mean, it’s just fucking BEYOND your sinister mein that maybe I’m a decent person because I want to leave the world a slightly better place than what I found it. That maybe I want to try, desperately, to make up for all the wicked shit I did when I was The Engineer. But no, no, that’s beyond The Doc. In his world people only shelter the weak and destitute to “house their hubris”. In his world every decent sort is just waiting to be some self absorbed martyr, again to use his term. Why would he assume that of others?

Because that’s what he would do.

You see, it’s all projection with the not so good doctor. It’s all projection. He can’t fathom honesty and decency because it’s simply not in his character to do so. So, and I mean this as sincerely as I possibly can, FUCK RIGHT OFF.

And as far as those tag championships of “yours” that Thad and I lost? I’ve never felt better about a loss in my life. Because it freed me from you, you overbearing, decadent, malicious tosser.

God damn that felt good.

Okay, shatterpoints. Final team. The Turaner (Turdaner?). Of course the weak spot is….Big D.

And I feel like an asshole for saying so. But it’s just the cold hard Big D truth, isn’t it?

Throughout his career, Big D struggled mightily to even clutch onto midcard status. But my God did he try. He really did. So me even pointing this out kinda feels like kicking a dog when he’s down.

But it is Big D.

Big D, who still clutches onto a win against Thad Duke years ago as one of his main rallying points. Big D, who despite his lengthy time logged in the promotion was only ever able to cobble together barely two and a half months as a mid card champ. Big D, who at the end of the day is just…well….Big Forgettable. And yeah, there are MORE forgettable people out there, for sure. But given the time he was here and the effort put in, I feel like someone like that should have been able to accomplish more. But he never did.

Now, combine that with the fact that he’s a last minute addition subbing for Lexi Gold, with only half the time as the rest of us to prepare and acclimate to his team? I frankly just doin’t see this going well for D. And I’m sorry man. I may not have always agreed with your attitude or what you had to say, but I recognize the effort. I really do. But I think even you have to admit that you’re the low man on your respective totem pole.

But…you’re not the only one. Because this team actually has TWO shatterpoints. The other one?

Corey sighs deeply. Bobby Bourbon.

I know…I know! “Corey haven’t you already said nice things about Bobby being great?” Well, I sure have. Because Bobby is immensely talented. When he wants to be.

But sometimes he doesn’t want to be. And that’s the problem isn’t it?

I mean, the highs and lows of Bobby’s career are certainly well documented. But there is no one, NO ONE, else in this War Games field that has thrown away TWO, yes TWO, Universal title reigns. 

Once is an anomaly, Bobby. Two is a pattern. There I sat, flabbergasted and watching the television as Sidney Grey, who I am utterly convinced is tanned steer hide stretched over a particularly bony science class skeleton and nothing else, blew through two matches only to beat you in a THIRD match for the Universal Championship. Pretty quickly too, I might add.

So how is it that this walking corpse of a woman wrestled twice as much as you and still beat the great Bobby Bourbon. It’s simply inconceivable. Unless you account for the fact that Bobby wanted to fail again.

I mean, Bobby just seems to have this psychological hiccup he can’t get over where he fears getting TOO successful. Yeah, I know you were King High Pooh-Bob or whatever too, which just makes this even more hard to understand.

Sometimes Bobby just doesn’t want to succeed. Which makes him a frightening draft pick to say the least. Here we are, another big money main event. The kind of event that makes or breaks careers, and Sarah has got to be asking herself which Bobby she drafted. Brave Bobby or Scared Bobby? The Bobby who wants to win, or the Bobby who is terrified of being in that limelight?

Bobby Bourbon, I can say this for you. You’re one of the most confounding humans I’ve ever encountered.  You’re also one of the most unpredictable. Which I daresay makes you a massive liability to your team. And that, good sir, are why you are my final shatterpoint.

I think it’s hilarious how from jump-street, it’s just been assumed that this team I’ve assembled wouldn’t be able to coalesce. How it’s been assumed that I wouldn’t be able, or willing to lead them to victory. Let the words of the pretentious few who’ve doubted my abilities come back to bite them as they’ll have only wished that it were true.

Thunder Knuckles pointed it out himself in the lead up to the captains match just how capable I am in WarGames. Afterall, he had to sit back and watch as I tore through team Powers at Woodstock and left Bobby Bourbon sucking air in the finals. And in that moment, it wasn’t, as everyone has so unorignally mimicked one another in the lead up to this match, “Dolly latching onto people” that sparked that performance. It was Dolly grabbing Charlie, Marf and Robert Main by the hand and leading them as far as I could. I mean the whole argument pretty lame anyway, ESPECIALLY in this setting:

“Dolly needs people”

If the entire WarGames field doesn’t look the dumber, and weaker, for repeating that nonsense over and over, then I’ve seriously misjudged the competence of the XWF audience. This is fucking WarGames. What was I supposed to do? Not draft a team? Not draft the best wrestler available when it was my turn to pick? Was I supposed to WANT to lose?

What would Bobby Bourbon have said if I drafted him? Or Kido? Or Vita, or Doc for that matter? Do you seriously think these assholes would be blathering on about me needing help? Fuck off.
The only thing you people have shown in this hype cycle leading up to the Pay-Per-View is just how uninspired, and lacking yer’ promo work has become.

I mean you’ve got goddamn Jenny Myst making claims that she let me win a match against her.

She’s saying she literally let me knee her in the face a half a dozen times, throw her into a 6 foot deep pit, and cover her with horse manure. Can we find a goddamn Darwin award for this basic bitch? If that’s the case Jenny, the only thing you “let me” do, was prove to the world what a fucking incompetent, flakey little scab you are, and how uninterested in success you are. When the actual story is, and was, that Jenny knew she couldn’t beat me, which is why just hours before our match, she was trying to win back the XTreme Championship she lost in the 24/7 hallways. Jenny’s a known liar. I’ve called her on this nonsense before.

Why everyone is so hung up on me drafting Corey, really speaks to their own fears about what he and I are capable of achieving in WarGames. I made the choice any responsible captain would make. I drafted a great wrestler and a great friend. Hell, the way I see it, the top three wrestlers in this draft pool were selected with the top three picks, and that’s gotta sting for someone with an ego as big as Kido, amarite? Regardless of any other result of the night, I think it’s going to be pretty hilarious to watch a guy who so boldly proclaimed that he “OWNS US”, not even make it to the finals. People can sleep on my team all they wish, it’ll be their mistake.

Dio anything to add?
 
Well, I thought that-

Wait Dio… I wish you’d let me have a turn.

Take us home Demon Daddy

The XWF universe wants to live in a world where Doctor D’ville and guys like Alias can parade around the place at their own whim and whenever they please like some kind of god-kings going around looking for someone to bend over and kiss their feet.  They want to pretend like I’ve grown stale and that my schtick of sex and debauchery has grown as a thing of the past  into the XWF world that was once world by the first dark lord of the XWF.  What Doc doesn’t realize is that the sermons he keeps preaching are nothing but a rendition of his old rectal rehabilitation.  If he wants to keep pounding into our poonany the possibility of presumption, then he needs to take a good long look in the mirror and realize that every time he comes out here he’s just dusting off another one of his mental gymnastics that he wants everyone to jump through hoops to try to discover some secret riddle he thinks he’s cleverly backed everyone’s brains into figuring out like some type of rubik's cube. 

Well guess what Doc?  I’m tired of flipping cubes and playing guess the gynecologist with you.  If you want to keep feeling up peoples behind and keep messing with my mind, then I got better things to do on a Saturday night like watch another Big Bang theory re-run or Donald Trump scandal then sit by and watch you pick apart the world like your some kind of Jordan Peterson smart ass sitting up on a pedestal judging us all you narcissistic little fuck wad. 

It’s pretty obvious they all only pay attention to him and his blundering blasphemies, since almost every single competitor in this competition can only remember the time he shrunk me down to size and made me into a midget little Jenny Myst doll, which is ironic in nature since Jenny Myst promos are not known to be small in size in the slightest.  I mean, that was almost two years ago and I know I haven’t been around much lately, but who can blame me?  You all sit around and watch women’s football and Doc D’ville diatribes.  At least I can understand why Corey Smith hates me, because I was a no good piece of shit that couldn’t deliver when the time was necessary.  And for a guy that’s changed his gimmick almost as many times as Ghost Tank, that’s not saying much…  I’m not very good at standing and delivering when my number is called.  I like to sneak up and stick it to you all when you’re least expecting it.  Like a finger in your ass during a raging hard session of sex when you least expect it.  That’s why I’ve come here for War Games to be that finger in the ass that of all you fear when you're giving it missionary position from the girlfriend you’ve had for 666 years.  You’ve all had it from me before and so that’s why you clench your sphincters every time I show back up again.  But I always find a way to get up in ya…  and for SATAN! Sake, I’m going to get all up in each and every single one of you at War Games.  That’s why I sign up for this big event every year.  So I can find a way to fuck each and every single one of you in the most vile and repulsive way every imaginable! 

2x KWA Unified Southern Glory Champion
6x KWA Middleweight Champion
4x KWA Tag Team Champion
1x XWF XTreme Champion


-Dumb Dolly records that no one cares about-

3x XTreme Champion
2x Tag Team Champion (w/ Vita Valenteen, w/ Charlie Nickles)
2x Hart Champion
3x Television Champion

3x Star Of The Month
August ‘21, May ‘17, October ‘16

3x RP Of The Month
What light through sonder... my perception breaks.
Tranquility: For Old Times Sake
Manifest Victory