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X-treme Wrestling Federation » XWF Live! » 24/7 X-treme Championship
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Worthy
Author Message
Hotdog Offline
Now in new North Korean War Pig flavour!



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#1
05-09-2023, 03:13 AM

A sniff.

A snort.

A blech, simultaneously occurring alongside the kind of flatulence that can only occur after one got done chowing down on the pet hamster of an alternate timeline Ned Kaye. Seasoned with said Ned Kaye's tears. Not this Ned Kaye though. That would be sad.

Anywho, all that is a roundabout way of saying that The Pig Yo Moma Digs himself, Hotdog, has spawned in thr 24/7 Hallways once more.

And what does he find?

"Ooin'k oink?"


Err... sorry. I thought that was going to be the answer rather than just repeating the same question. I'll try to be a better disembodied narrator in the future. Please don't tell my boss.

So... umm... shit. I lost my train of thought.

"Ooin'k oink?" Hotdog repeats. Thanks bud.


Why it's the hammer of course!

No. Not that hammer! It's not Kris Von Bonn!

It's Kris "The Hammer" Von Bonn's hammer!

With a sniff and a snort and another simultaneous expulsion of the gaseous equivalent of a snuff film, Hotdog trots on over to the hammer to investigate further.

Suddenly...

KRAKOOOOOOOM!

Thunder claps inside the hallways, accompanied by the blinding flash of lightning from outta nowhere!

Hotdog imvoluntarily lets a little bit of alternate Ned Kaye's partially digested pet hamster drop to the ground. He plays it cool though. I mean... he's a pig. They kind of just shit everywhere by default.

That little hamster gets yoinked back up into his colon as another disembodied voice - like mine but with a lot more bass in it and a whole lot more credibility too - rips its way through everyone's earholes.

"WHOSOEVER HOLDS THIS HAMMER, IF HE BE WORTHY, SHALL POSSESS THE POWER OF KRIS VON BONN!"

Hotdog got half a chub at this. He wasn't particularly keen on setting up the ring, but with all the elaborate match stipulations the XWF holds, it provided a great opportunity to turn the entire federation into his very own slaughterhouse. Especially if Mark Flynn decides to stomp on Raion Kido's gonads again.

Oh the power! That half chub was growing! It was helped by the fact that Kris Von Bonn was widely known as the greatest of all the ring crew! Not to mention all the puss! I mean look at the guy. He fucks. You just know it. Hotdog was going through a bit of a dry patch in this universe. He didn't understand it, but the mere thought got those juices flowing even more!

Hot dang! This was it! This was his moment! The power of Kris Von Bonn will be his!

Dragging his now fully erect member across the ground, Hotdog grabs the hammer with his mighty jaw.

The power of Kris Von Bonn will be his!

He pulls!

The hammer...






















































































Doesn't move.

Frustrated at his alleged unworthiness, Hotdog yanks again, using all his might but slips right off and his phenomenal strength sends him soaring backwards.

What were we doing again?

Oh yeah, I guess he hits into the ACTUAL Kris Von Bonn, knocking him over, and winds up pinning him or something. Yeah sure, let's go with that.

"O'ink oink ooiinnkk oink ooiink ooiinnk ooiink. Oink oink oink, Oink oink ooink, oink Oink oink OINK oink Oink ooiinnkk oink. Oink ooiink oink, O'ink OINK OINK OINK."


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Misty Waters (05-09-2023)
Kris The Hammer Von Bonn Offline
Active in XWF



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(heel alignment but liked by many; has earned respect despite breaking the rules often)


#2
05-09-2023, 07:31 AM

"Kick Out,"
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