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"Circle Jerks" - DaringDuo - Team Up Issue #1
Author Message
The Blue Tango Offline
Not Calypso
TITLE - Tag Champion

XWF FanBase:
Some of everyone

(cheered; very rarely plays dirty but isn't lame either; many likable qualities)

03-07-2023, 12:04 PM

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The Atomic Bat led the Blue Tango inside of the Heroes Guild. He was here to apply for his official "Super Hero License" so that he can help fight against injustice.... legally. He was in awe of the heroic golden statues lined up along the beautiful marble floors and grand ceilings.

"Dude, it's like, so fancy!" cried the Blue Tango in his not raspiest of voices.

[Image: Heroes-Guild.jpg]

"Yeah, it's so cool!" the Bat replied, a twinkle in her eyes. "Let's get you registered!"

"For sure!"

TAB and Tango continued down the main hall and approached a receptionist with pink curly hair.

"Goooood morning! How may we help you today?" she excitedly asked.

"Uh, hi... We're set to take on two dastardly villains and my friend here needs his superhero card,"!" said The Atomic Bat.

"Okay, GREAT! First, I need to ask a couple of questions," she said, biting her lip and leaning into her computer. "It's just a formality.  Only take a minute."

Tango glanced over to TAB who reassured him with a nod.

"Shoot!" he said excitedly, pulling out a pair of imaginary side arms.

"O-kay!  First and foremost, name?"

Super hero pose: Engaged.

"The Blue Tango!"

"'Kay!  You are a superhero, correct?"


"Okay!  And what are your superpowers?"

"Uhhh," Tango looked surprised by the question, and froze, but T.A.B. quickly smacked him on the shoulder and woke him from his trance. "Well, you see, if you're looking for superpowers…  I can tell you I don't have any.  What I do have, are a particular set of skills, skills I have acquired after a long career.  Skills that make me a nightmare for supervillains, evil masterminds, and general bad guys."

"People!" The Bat reminded him with a nudge!


The receptionist typed out everything down, then stopped to look up at him.

"Mmkay, soooooo, what type of skills?"

"Uhhhhhhh," he stumbled, again with the scrambling. "I use stealth and cunning! I utilize keen instincts and intuition! I can fight, too!"

"Mkaaaaaaay…  Are you rich?"

"Like, how rich?  Billionaire Bruce rich?  Rich in friends?  Rich in life?  Richmond, Virginia?"

"Billionaire Bruce rich."

"...Oh, uh, no."

"Mhmkay.  Have you defeated any supervillains in the past 6 months and/or do you have an arch nemesis?"

"Have not and do not, m'lady." :,-(

"Oooooooooo-kay," the receptionist took a single finger and pressed down on one last key before looking back up to the super pair.  "Well, unfortunately, sir…  Mr. Tango…  It appears you do NOT fit the criteria needed to be accepted into the Heroes Guild."

"Wait, wut?!"

"Here is a 30 day training card and a list of tasks to complete in order to be eligible for your permanent license! Complete those and..." she said as she opened a drawer and dropped a stack of papers down in front of Tango, "... these forms.  Return them here and we'll talk again!  Ummmmmmmmmmkay?"

TAB accompanied a crushed Tango on his walk of shame out of the Heroes Guild.

"What do we do now?" Tango asked with a sigh.

"What does the list say?" TAB reached for the paper and snatched it off the stack in Tango's arms.  She read down through the list then went back to number 1.  "Become renowned for your good deeds.  Well, that's easy!!"

"How do I do that?  Stop a robbery?  Help the needy?"

"Naaah.  There's a far easier way!" TAB answered, slapping him on the back and nearly causing the stack of papers to fall from his grasp. "We'll make a Public Service Announcement!  Put the baddies on notice! We'll get the entire world to tune in to us kicking Sidney Grey and Gina Van Zyl right in the keisters for what they did to Rubes!"

"You think it'll work?"

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Rooftop - Dark city night. Our Heroes stand atop.



“AND I’M, THE BLUE TANGO!  It would SEEM we have SOMEone trying to take over the world!"

“And so far, she’s masterfully manipulated her way to the top!”

“That stops HERE and NOW!”

“Indeed! Because Sidney Grey and Gina Van Zyl will suffer the same fate as ALL villainous duos!”


“An alliance built upon a shaky foundation is one doomed to fall!”

“And fall they will!"

“Two rogues on the same villainous path!”

“Two snakes, vying for the same position!”





“How can they possibly work together to overcome THIS DARING DUO!?!”



"Never gonna happen!"

"Not in a million years!"

"The attack on Ruby?  Despicable!  True villainy with a dash of cowardice!  Their battle with EACH OTHER in the ring, on Twitter, on the field, uh, everywhere?...  It's only going to make our job easier!  Their own ceiling is going to crash down on top of them and all we'll have to do is clean up the mess.  Not like what Gina Van Zyl did to Ruby.  That wasn't cleaning up...  That was scavenging!  Weak!  Pathetic!  And down right dirty!  All while Sid stood outside with her tail between her legs!"

"Not a shred of courage or teamwork between them, yet they're supposed to work together?  They only serve themselves!  The SECOND they're in a position where they must put their wellbeing on the line for the other, THAT’S when they will fail! Afterall, I’m sure they realize that they can’t BOTH be the Anarchy Champion!”

"Hammer.  Nail!  Accolades and accomplishments come secondary to our mission!”

“Instilling hope and conquering evil!!”

"Exactly!  Sidney Grey and Gina Van Zyl will find out that their terrible deeds will not lack repercussions!"

“And THIS THURSDAY, our mission begins with taking the anarchy…  OUT OF ANARCHY!"

SUPER HERO POSE: ENGAGED and our two heroes fist-bump as the scene fades to the BAT-LOGO!

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[-] The following 4 users Like The Blue Tango's post:
"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane (03-12-2023), CTN (03-09-2023), Kieran King (03-07-2023), The Atomic Bat (03-07-2023)

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