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Dolly Waters · (02-19-2023)

A Side Conversation

Just before recording a piece of promotional material against her sweet-sixteen March Madness opponent, Sidney Grey, our beloved Dolly Waters was coming clean to her assistant.

Now, thank goodness for narration subtitles and such, as someone with the fourth-grade mental capacity such as JMont might mistake the phrase “coming clean” for some lude act he practices between herpes outbreaks- but for Dolly, this act of coming clean was in regards to her intentions for her on again, off again rival/mentor/frenemy, Sarah Lacklan.

Sarah Lacklan… one of the world's most dominant professional wrestlers.

A person who has held championship gold in a number of companies higher than J Mont can even count…

It’s seven.

Seven is the number of companies.

Sarah Lacklan… one of the most feared names the wrestling industry has ever known, with a reputation for cracking grown mens skulls between her rock solid thighs. We could go into a long list of Lacklan’s accomplishments here, and the names of people she’s defeated that span the upper echelon of the industry over, but we’re afraid it might tire you out. So instead, we’ll just put it this way: Sarah Lacklan is better than you. She’s better than JMont, and ESPECIALLY better than Kal-X- and for the first time ever, in a story that’s been long awaited, speculated, and even fantasized by media talking-heads, she’s going to be partnering with…

...Dolly?

Patel Gagendeep, the trusted assistant of Dolly Waters, reaches over to his boss. A gentle, and curious hand brushing on her shoulder. Standing in front of Patel, Dolly leds him a slight turn of the cheek, granting him a piece of her tired eye, and one full ear,

...? Dolly stops in her trek through her recently commandeered metaphysical shop, a place where she’s been practicing black-magic as a means to give her a new advantage in the wrestling ring. Now, that doesn’t mean she’s going out and shooting fireballs out her opponents, or necromancing skeletons to do her bidding.

What she’s been practicing is something called manifestations. A form of the Law Of Attraction, but in a darker sense. Maybe it’ll cause her opponents-to-be to accidentally reveal a weakness, or trip and pull a ligament on their way to the ring, maybe they’ll contract some awful venereal disease from a Las Vegas prostitute, in the case of JMont that might just happen all on it’s own… but maybe the black-magic doesn’t really “work” at all, or a more interesting concept, maybe it works in a different way. Maybe by believing it works, Dolly Waters manifests confidence within herself to get an extra edge over her opponents. Whatever the case may be, the results have been… mixed, to say the least. Dolly used this so-called dark energy to manifest losses for specific wrestlers she thought might block her path in the XWF March Madness tournament. Of the six wrestlers she targeted, only three of them failed to win, and in the most curious way, one of those she targeted was none other than Sarah Lacklan. Doly’s old rival and mentor, who recently made her return to XWF and defeated Dolly for the tag-team championships at the SnowJob PPV.

...earlier you started to say- Patel continues, waking up beside Dolly now, turning to face his boss as she kneels down and begins rummaging through an old box of crystals, -something about Sarah Lacklan. It sounded like you were coming clean about something.

Dolly lets out a long sigh, and pulls back a long blond bang behind her ear. She stops rummaging through the box and gives Patel her full attention,

I wasn’t trying to manifest a loss for Lacklan in the tournament…

A look of incredulity slides onto Patel’s features. For weeks, he’s heard nothing from his boss, but lament, anger, venom and disdain towards Sarah Lacklan. In fact, the entire reason the two of them are in this metaphysical shop now, rummaging through old spell books, tarot decks, expired potions and dusty crystals was a reaction to Dolly losing her tag championship’s to Lacklan and her sister at SnowJob.

But you specifically manifested a loss for her in March Madness, when you pitched that letter she wrote you into that cauldron. Heck, you even ran down to the ring during her match, and she lost to Raion Kido!

I didn’t get involved in that match to try and make Sarah lose… I wanted to stop the manifestation. I wanted to help her win.

...I don’t understand.

If Lacklan was going to lose in March Madness, I wanted it to be because I defeated her in the finals. She beat me in the finals in 2019… she beat me at SnowJob… and both times, she was right. There were lessons I needed to learn. It took me a time or two, but after really understanding those words she wrote me, I know now that she was right. She does love me…

From the box of crystals Dolly pulls out a pink and white stone, a rose quartz. In metaphysics the rose quartz is said to attract love and comradery.

She turns away from Patel and gives the jagged little rock a rub with her thumb. The rock is very old and worn, yet its colors are still bright and vibrant. Its edges are rough, but smooth enough for Dolly’s thumb to glide over without a scrape. Just like her own heart, it may not be perfect, but it’s perfect enough to love.

…and I love her too, Gag.

Have you told her yet?

She already knows… All I need to do is get her to commit.

Dolly stands from the box of crystals, the glow of her smile shining on the rose quartz as she rubs it carefully and places it in her pocket. She pulls out her phone and dials…

PROMO TIME!

Sarah Lacklan is my partner for the Denzel Porter Invitational, LIVE from viva Las Vegas!

You heard it right, folks! Sarah sunburn Lacklan and Dolly Waters will be teaming up to face off against…

Dolly leans her head off camera, presumably checking her notes.

Ja- Jamaunji? J’mont? JAY Mont, and something called Klax, or Kleenex… or goddamn, where do you people come up with these dumbass names?

But ain’t this just a dandy?

The current XWF tag champion, Sarah Lacklan, and the former XWF tag Champion Dolly Waters are teaming together to take on a team that I have a hard time believing anyone has ever even heard of.

Let me make something crystal effing’ clear to J’mont and Klax. Neither one of you have what it takes to go toe to toe with wrestlers like myself of Sarah Lacklan, because if you did, you’d already be signed over here- where the real wrestling happens, in the XWF. You might as well be a couple of mere mortals getting ready to clash with the titans of Valhalla when it comes to professional wrestling, and if you need any further convincing, let me get you started with a few keynotes:

In cross-promotional/invitational tag team tournaments Dolly Waters boasts an 8-1 record, along with a dusty OCW trophy in my cabinet, those are prett effin’ rare by the way.

I’m a two time tag team champion in the XWF. The XWF being the very wrestling promotion that made yer’ daddy’s career renaissance something worth mentioning, J’mont… yeah, that’s right, I heard yer’ a CCPE guy.
You know something funny about CCPE guys? The best of 'em… guess where they come from. Right here, the XWF. Where I’ve battled week in and week out against top tier talent for nearly seven years.

Now I’m sure yer’ rolling yer eyes. I’m sure that the fact yer’ chomping at the bit to be featured on a wrestling program, the DPI-2, that’s SPONSORED, and has it’s entire promotional cycle being broadcast by the XWF means nothing to you, because let’s face it, anyone with an actual eye for professional wrestling talent knows one thing to be certain about J’mont. He’s all braun, and no brains.

He looks good in Twitter selfies, but when he opens his mouth it’s like listening to a third grader trying to recite a sexually explicit novel.

But I digress back to the point… try and follow along big guy,

Two time XWF tag champ, Dolly Waters, right? Wins in cross promotional tag contests like they’re going out of style, right? She’s teaming up with Sarah Lacklan, the person who just took the tag championships away from me at the last XWF PPV. Granted it was a ladder match, but can you guess who the top two people on that ladder were as the match ended?

I’ll give you a hint, it wasn’t J’mont, or KalX. Not just because they’re not signed in XWF, because they don’t have what it takes to face this level of competition, but because they’re too cowardly to even try. Hell, the last I checked Kalx hasn’t even submitted a roster-application to the XWF, which is supposedly required to even participate in this event. Sounds like to me that someone’s got cold feet, J’mont.

Could you blame him? Because after this next point I’m about to make, I certainly couldn’t.

The last time there was a cross-promotional event sponsored in-part by the XWF, with it’s results being broadcasted by the XWF, it was CCP’s very own Cannabis Cup. Guess who was in a tag match on that card… well! None other than J’mont himself, and he was teaming up with another former CCP guy in Elijah Martin

LULLLLLZZZ! I made Elijah Martin tap out like a little bitch once by the way. Just months removed from a torn ACL! But I digress again.

J’Mont and Elijah teamed at the Cannibus Cup to face off against a team of women, much like Lacklan and myself, and after those two clowns spat off a bunch of misogynistic bullshit, J’mont had to watch, helplessly while Lisslie Hope drop kicked Martin’s face off and covered him for the one, two, three. Now, ain’t it interesting how history seems to be repeating? Not even a year later, another cross promotional event being broadcast by the XWF, and a pair of CCPE guys are getting ready to go up against a team of women wrestlers who have been nothing but underestimated and discredited by people who dont know better.

See, J’mont, your size and strength, it don’t mean shit. Yer’ commonplace schizophrenic episodes? I can’t tell you how many bland, boring, downright generic assholes I’ve had the pleasure of laughing at in the XWF who have these same multiple personality disorders, while I maimed them and their headcase friends.

That’s exactly whats going to happen to you in Las Vegas, J’mont. And if you don’t believe, go ask yer’ daddy Chris Page who he REALLY thinks is the better wrestler between you and I, between you and Lacklan. HELL! Go ask Denzel Porter himself. Because if you wanna’ know the truth… the dirt sheets were right. See, Dolly Waters didn’t sign up to wrestle on this show. Dolly was approached by Denzel Porter, a man that nobody wrestlers like yer’self beg for media attention… he approached ME to wrestle against you.

You know why I think that’s the case? Let me take that back… wanna know why I KNOW Denzel approached me to wrestle against you?

Because someone like J’mont cant carry top billing on a card. Denzel knows that the REAL talent is XWF branded. Tried and true. It’s Dolly WAters. It’s Sarah Lacklan. It’s the finalists of yer’ daddy’s Cannabis Cup. It’s the top talent in yer’ daddy’s stable….

And it’s about to prove to you exactly where you DON’T belong at the Denzel Porter Invitational…. And that’s in the ring with wrestlers like Dolly Waters and Sarah Lacklan.

Go on and take a bow, kid. It’s all over but the cryin’

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode IT WAS LACKLAN ALL ALONG!
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