The sky was largely gray above the address Ned had been able to track down. It had felt like months that Noah had been complaining about his cat- a cat that, mind you, Ned never intended to donate to Jackson and one whom he sent Ned a cat doppelganger over a year ago to camouflage his continued ownership of Ned's cat. The car slowed to a crawl, before parking outside, Ned peering over the passenger seat which held Darcy Ellis as he took a breath.

“You really shouldn't be so worried,” Darcy said, her arms crossed as her head slowly obstructed Ned's view, “You're asking a coworker for an animal that doesn't even really belong to him.”

His eyes narrowed, responding in a curt manner, “Remind me how easy it was the last time we interacted with one of your coworkers.”

“Point taken, but still,” She huffed at his comeback, but ultimately appreciated that he was finally learning some sass. Regardless, Ned seemed hesitant. His hands clutched the steering wheel tightly as he stared out the window, deep in thought. Darcy felt it always tough for her to break through to Ned, especially in his more somber moments. He was guarded in a manner that seemed unintentionally encompassing, a form of self-isolation he struggled to overcome without a push in the right direction. Frowning, she glanced at his hand, the scar tissue of his knuckles healing over brightly contrasting his more pale skin.

She had never quite met someone who put nearly the same amount of pressure on themselves as Ned. It constantly came off like he viewed his entire life as a house of cards he had to keep in place and any failing at keeping the structure was a direct failure of himself. He meant well, but it was difficult to seem him like this. Quietly, she placed her hand on his, feeling the rough part of his knuckles he had split.

“Hey,” she spoke quietly, “if you'd like to walk up there together, just say the word.”

His concentration broke, tugging him back to reality as he gave her a smile, shaking his head.

“No, no. I'll be fine. Noah is just... difficult. It's probably best you stay in the car. Just keeps things... smoother.”

“What?” Darcy questioned with a slight bit of indignation, “You don't think I'm capable of keeping up with that guy's bargin-binsults?”

Ned chuckled softly as he stepped out of the car, leaning over to respond, “Not at all. I just don't want to have to break up a fight.”

She playfully rolled her eyes, giving a sigh and waving Ned off as he shut the door, adding “Oh shut up and go get your creepily named cat!”

Showtime, Ned thought as he stepped forward, double checking the address nearly half a dozen times as he continued towards the house. When he finally made it to the doorstep, he put his phone away and knocked on the door, trying to ensure that they were audible, but not overly obtrusive. Rudely and swiftly, the door swung open, revealing Noah Jackson, standing across from Ned in some casual attire. Jackson's eyes widened a fair bit upon seeing Ned, as if he was in a good deal of disbelief.

“Hey, Noah-”

Before Ned could even elaborate his intentions, Noah delivered a swift kick to Ned's crotch and slammed the door in his face. Ned stood there, largely unphased physically, but in utter bewilderment otherwise. He glanced back at Darcy, who appeared to be equally confused as he knocked the door again, a little more firmly this time around. Once again, Noah answered.

“I'm here for my ca-”

Jackson attempted another kick to Ned's groin, this time realizing it wasn't having the intended effect. Rubbing his own forehead with a hand, Ned sighed, as his gaze fell towards his feet.

“You really don't think I'd get hit in the groin by Chris and then not wear protection the next time I'm in a situation that could lead there?”

Noah gave him an almost disgusted look, bordering on horrified.

“The fuck they puttin' in your magnums, cunt?”

“No- no, Ii don't mean like that. A jock strap.”

“Jesus Christ,” Noah nearly vomitted in his mouth, “I didn't want to be privy to your freako fetish shit.”

“...What?” Ned questioned, genuinely confused.

“Anyways, the fuck you doing in Mississippi, cunt?”

Kaye looked around, somehow more taken aback by Noah's second comment, rather than his first, attempting to his best to answer him, “Mississipi? Noah, you do realize that we're in Illinois, right?”

“Aww what?!?” Noah shoved his head outside, inspecting the surrounding area as if that would somehow effect what state they were both in, “That cunt realtor lied to me!”

“I-I'm... sorry?” Ned apologized, uncertain whether or not empathy was a proper response in this particular instance, “I don't mean to pry, but why did you want to move to Mississippi?”

“Are you kidding?"Noah guffawed, in disbelief of how Ned didn't see the same obvious appeal, “the name's fucking comedy gold. Miss I sip pee.... hilarious. You yank cunts name things the fuckest shit.”

“Look... I'm really just here for my ca-” Ned began before getting interrupted once more, a little more aggravated this time as Jackson cut him off again.

“You seen what they're passin' off as biccies in this country? Piss off, blob man,” Noah continued to rant, seemingly oblivious to anything Ned was trying to say.

Under his breath in a slight bit of annoyance, Ned rebutted with, “Y'know Australia has a mountain named Mt. Buggery. That's pretty stupid.”

Noah ceased speaking immediately, grabbing a bottle from someplace in the front hallway and smashing it against the door frame, creating an edged weapon pointed squarely at Ned, who jumped back slightly.

“You take that back cunt! I'll show you buggery you culturally insensitive fuck!”

Ned did his best to deescalate, glancing back at a slightly panicked Darcy Ellis. Rolling his eyes a bit, Ned swallowed his pride and attempted to ease matters.

“Look. That was out of turn. I take it back.”

Noah eyed Kaye over with a harsh sort of inspection prior to cursing under his breath and tossing the bottle some place to the side, the sound of the shattering remains of the bottle reverberating through Noah's house before he scowled and lamented what was on his mind.

“Why's everybody xenophobic apart from me!” He shouted, giving Ned an actual opportunity to speak until stripping it away from him in one short breath.

“Aight, let me tell you why, in detail, you yanks have zero taste in food."

It must have gone on for forty minutes, Ned thought. It was getting past the point of him just being sick of Noah's rant about every kind of American food staple he could conjure a thought about off the top of his head and started to become an active concern for his car having idled for that long. There was no way that this was any good for it. Still, Jackson seemed to have no intent on easing up, even as both of Ned's hands began to rest on his own cheeks, scraping his fingertips down his face in a combination of boredom and burgeoning insanity.

“And a turducken just goes against so many laws of nature!That's two separate arseholes you're shoving foul to cook 'em! It's inhumane! You know what I say? An animal should only ever enter one other ass at a time. That's just nature, cuck.”

“Noah,” Ned cut him off, refusing to make eye contact with him at this point as Kaye's eyes were focused solely on the skies, “I came here because you keep threatening to throw out Deepthroat, a cat I didn't even want you to own in the first place. Please can I just have my cat back?”

Jackson gave him a stare that started off mostly blank before transforming into some kind of understanding, “Right, right... nuff food talk, let's get down to why you're here.”

With a wave of relief, Ned looked down and gave a slight smile as Noah seemed to finally get the picture.

“C'mon, I'll show me pog collection, it is sick!”

Ned's smile faded immediately.

“Remember Alf, cunt? Bugger's back. In pog form!”

In this state of Jackson-induced depression, Ned nearly fell to his knees, exhausted by the sheer levels of nonsense he was having to experience all of a sudden. But as his gaze turned downwards, he saw his cat, Deepthroat, trot past Noah's leg and curl around Ned's before giving him some space so he could kneel down and give DT some long overdo pets. Noah grew silent as he watched Ned pet the small, black cat. Ned admired how DT had grown since he last saw him closer to a kitten than the grown cat he now was. For all his distaste of Jackson, it was difficult to not notice how well-treated Deepthroat seemed to have been in all the time that had passed. Surprisingly, Ned didn't just hear the affectionate purring of his cat... but sniffles. He peered upward.

Noah seemed... less than emotionally pleased by the development. For some reason, the sick cunt who was always able to find his words seemed to have trouble articulating them now.

“He-uh... he likes scritches behind his ears... so just make sure he gets lots of them. And he likes a dry... treat 'fore bedtime...”

Ned inhaled sharply. He detested Noah for a multitude of reasons. And as happy as he was to be reunited with DT, the simple fact is that Ned had gotten along without his animal companion. And as much as Noah was obnoxious and frustrating, he got a lot out of having DT there. Almost begrudgingly, Ned picked up Deepthroat and handed him to Noah after keeping the cat in a close hug for a second.

“You know, I was thinking... maybe my life is a little... turbulent right now. Like, a lot of changes going on and it might not be the most stable environment for a pet. So, for the time being... maybe you should keep watching him?” Ned looked up, hoping to see a little humanity returned from Noah.

After a moment of silence, Noah loudly said, “Fuckin dead beat cat dad cuck. Pussy, coming all the way to Mississippi just to bail on your own cat! Always knew you were a coward, Kaye!”

The door slammed in Ned's face as he took the long walk back to the car, flinging his head against the back of the seat as he sat down, Darcy giving him a proud kind of smile.

“That was a really sweet thing you did, Ned.”

“Yeah, I know,” He ran his hands through his hair before turning to look at Darcy, realizing that, despite her staying in the car, her presence here absolutely did help. He pondered the best way to say what he was thinking before stumbling upon the simplest one.

“Darcy, remember what you asked me before the Page match?”

“Yeah,” her ears perked as she blushed lightly, a little uncertain of his answer.

“I'd... I'd like to try it out... being a thing, if you still want that.”

She gulped, her face turning a rather bright red as she attempted to answer in a snarky way, but merely answered with a squeaky “yeah!”

Ned laughed his ass off and was rewarded with a few soft, playful smacks for making fun of her voice cracking on the drive home.

------

“Family."

"It comes in many forms. But there isn't one that I don't value deeply. That's the simplest factor of this match, Buster. You are walking into my family and looking to change its spirit. To alter its purpose. I won't allow this family to be used. It's one thing to fight an enemy, it's another thing to change the meaning of what we stand for. This is what I'll do."

"Welcome to the family."

"You can't run from yourself."