The camera zips through the hallways of a football stadium somewhere in Mexico. You know we’re in Mexico because the camera has that disgusting yellow tint that all cinematographers use for Mexico! Also, random Spanish music is playing in the background.

Banners for the LFL’s Tenochtitlan Quetzalcoatl hang from the walls and the rafters. The camera darts past overflowing equipment storage rooms, bustling training staff, and a luxurious gym before finally settling on a poster of the 2023 Quetzalcoatl roster pinned to the wall. The ladies are pictured standing on the midfield logo, looking fierce and ready for a fight.

The Quarterback, #15, stands directly in the center of the front row. She has a football in her hands, symbolic paint on half her face, and the weight of the season on her shoulders.

Then we hear the clicking of a camera, and a sudden flash blurs the screen.

The camera fades back into the live-action photography that preceded the poster. The photographer tells the women they can go, and all the ladies cheer before breaking formation and heading off down the field to practice. Robyn Gonzalez, aka LSM, steps out from the center of the front row and approaches the camera with her football in hand.

“Hola Marco Fleen! Do you have a few minutes to chat? I know you’re a busy boy these days, but I figured we should just go over some quick facts and figures this week, before we really start cooking up some carne de vaca next week!”

LSM stops her approach directly in front of the camera, cracking a big smile as she pushes her hair away from her face. She stands right on the 20 yard line, facing the endzone, with the opposite goal posts framing the scene on either side.

“You’re probably wondering how we got here, aren’t you? I was as shocked as anyone when I first heard the news. Of course I always believed I had star-power, but I never knew I was so essential to this place that my absence would send it into a total tail-spin! I took a little leave of absence to attend Tenochtitlan Quetzalcoatl training camp, and now the company is bleeding out talent, losing market share, and cutting its own programming!

¡Dios mío!

Who was supposed to be looking after the XWF while I was on that part-time schedule?”

LSM playfully looks around the stadium before turning to the camera with a knowing nod. She cocks her head to the side before stepping onto the 19 yard-line, clearly advancing through the redzone.

“I did some investigations, a little pensamiento crítico, and I think I figured out exactly what happened while I was away. While I was conditioning my body to physical perfection and pulling montón muchachas down here en Mexico, Marco Fleen was wearing the entire XWF universe around his waist….and doing absolutely NADA to elevate the brand!”

LSM casts her arm out to her side in frustration as she steps onto the next yard line. Unsurprisingly, the star Quarterback maintains complete control of the football despite her theatrics.

“You do know this is a BUSINESS, right Marco Fleen? And what do businesses sell? They sell products and services! Bienes y suministros! Take the LFL for example, a premier women’s league quickly ascending the ranks of professional sports. We’re putting ourselves on the map, making people want to pay attention, because we’re giving them a product on the field they can’t find anywhere else. You can’t watch Vita Valenteen, Atara Themis, or Angelica Vaughn play football anywhere else except a sanctioned LFL field. That EXCLUSIVITY is what has bred our success, made us unique, and helped us to stand out from the crowd.”

LSM keeps walking until she reaches the 15 yard line, where she pauses and looks around the field while using the football to shade her eyes from the sun. A few seconds pass before she shakes her head and turns back to the camera.

“But I guess Marco Fleen never got the memo. That passed-around más allá de su pico champion must’ve been too busy cosplaying a lawyer to go to business school, so Profesora Machina is going to have to break things down for him!

The XWF is a MALDITA EMPRESA in a saturated market. You know full-well that we keep our lights on by selling 64 oz souvenir soda cups with iron-on semi-toxic pictures of our talent at the concessions stands for our shows. I mean holy cow, did you see that souvenir cup they were selling with my nudes on it? The only reason I didn’t kill myself after that embarrassment was because I made such a killing on the merchandising royalty!

They cost 74 cents to produce. We pay someone minimum wage to fill them with sugar water and we sell them for $17.50. That’s the business, Marco! That’s the whole end-game!

So what makes someone spend an hour’s wage on concessions, and a day’s wage on tickets?

EXCLUSIVE STAR POWER.

They’ll pay the premium price to see a product they can’t find anywhere else!

So when we have to cut Savage from our programming to save money, and our universal champion is out running around in other federations soaking up screen time and losing big matches, I think it’s pretty clear to everyone who’s fault it is.”

LSM shakes her head with disdain for the XWF universal champion before squinting harshly at the camera.

“So now I have to ask you, lil’ Marco…..WHAT DO YOU CONTRIBUTE TO OUR ECONOMIC MACHINE?”

LSM tucks the football against her waist as moves towards the ten yard line with clear determination in her step. Her glaring eyes never break contact with the camera.

“Exclusivity? Not even close.

Honor? Not a shred.

Dignity, pride, and integrity? Nope, nope, nope!

The only thing you’ve contributed to with your title reign is Micheal Graves’ organ donation drive! You’ve never had a spine or a pair of huevos, so you let him take that eye right out of your skull on live Television…tell me, did that happen on Savage? Jesus Cristo, no wonder nobody was tuning into that show anymore! Who wants to see that kind of garbage on their screens?!

You defended against Graves in a blowout match absolutely no one was looking forward to, with even less twitter hype than your one-off championship match against Kieran King on Madness. That pay per view didn’t have as many eyes on it as you wanted, and it’s not because you wore an eyepatch! Of course no one has really looked forward to any of your championship defenses, because really, what have you given people to look forward to? You drop one short vignette for a big-time match and expect people to be at the edge of their seats for two weeks? No wonder I’m a lesbian, because men like Marco just don’t have any idea how to stimulate someone with anticipation!”

LSM throws her head back in laughter as she stands still on the ten. She lowers her head and looks into the endzone, ready to score the big one, before turning back to the camera with a soft sigh.

“For as much as Marco likes to brag about quashing BOB’s title dreams, I’m the only one in this match who’s actually won a belt off them! You remember, TK’s months-long reign with the X-treme title that seemed destined to grant BOB a briefcase?

Yeah, I ended that. That was me. You’re welcome, Marco. And he should be sure to also give his thanks to the team that actually ended BOB’s tag reign, because without them, Marco would never have even had the CHANCE to sacrifice his better half for this company ruining uni run!

Seriously, Marco has the top belt around his waist and the company is sinking deeper and deeper into a pit of despair. This is not coincidental. Fleen’s very first match as XWF universal champion, he took the belt to another promotion and LOST. Then again, just a few weeks earlier he was disgraced in a loss on Warfare to the beltless Bastards.

So what kind of names has lil Marco beaten as champion?

Marf.

Graves.

Atara.

Kieran.

And, most impressively of all, Marco has beaten Dick as the universal champion.

How fitting.”

LSM rolls her eyes in disapproval of Flynn’s championship run. She starts walking towards the five yard line as she holds the football out in front of her chest, pointing her finger at Mark Flynn through the camera.

‘Even you know that your run has been padded by lackluster wins against lackluster talent. You even talk about it every time you touch el micrófono! Go back and watch the tapes! Going into each and every defense you’ve dismissed and demeaned your challengers, rightfully calling them out for their awful records and limited potential. You’ve already pointed out the fact that each and every challenger you’ve had wasn’t up to snuff and could never dream of being a real star….so why should your wins against them impress anyone?

They shouldn’t, they don’t, and they never will. And THAT’S why the XWF is cutting programming, losing talent, and tipping over the edge of a cliff. Because the universal champion is a selfish pedazo de mierda who doesn’t do anything impressive on the XWF airwaves, because he’s saving it all for big matches against janitors and mechanics in other companies!

I don’t believe in coincidences.

I believe in DESTINY.

And Marco Fleen, it is my DESTINY to come back and strip you of that championship belt! To restore the XWF to the pinnacle of lucha libre!”

LSM pounds the football against her chest as she stares into the camera with confidence from the 5.

“You haven’t cherished that which you have been granted, that which it took you a decade to achieve. You’ve taken it as a given that you will always wake up and be the XWF champion, and in that arrogance you’ve walked astray from your bearings and deep into parts unknown. Now, I will make you suffer the scathing humility you are owed.

You can write me off with your words, dismiss me as if I’m another Marf or Kieran…but that will only make the bitter crow so much harder for you to swallow after our match. I’m the youngest 2-time Anarchy champion in history, I’m the first latina to Captain a War Games team, and I’m the biggest dual-sport athlete in all of Latin America….and I’m not even 21 years old yet! When Marco was my age, he hadn’t accomplished ANYTHING like I have….so if he thinks there’s no way I can ever be the universal champion, then that old man really has lost his marbles! Maybe I can help him find them when I’m thrashing his culo all around the arena next Warfare!”

LSM brings the football to her waist as she approaches the endzone, looking down at the freshly cut grass with an abundance of ambition. The goal line painted in front of the endzone reminds LSM of the paint she puts across her face, symbolizing the resolve to push past all obstacles no matter the cost.

“I’m younger than Marco, I’m faster than Marco, and I’m in better shape than Marco’s ever been in. Not to mention, I’m a more skilled mat technician than Marco Fleen, despite his twenty years of experience disappointing the masses in the ring! I am going to EMBARRASS Marco on Warfare, because I have both a deeper arsenal and a more specialized toolset than him between those ropes. I’m a once-in-a-generation talent, didn’t you know?”

LSM cracks a cocky grin before stepping into the endzone and lobbing the football between the goalposts. She takes a few more steps before stopping in the middle of the endzone, placing her hands on her hips and cocking her head to the side in front of the ever-retreating camera.

“I was born to be a legend in this business. I can feel it coursing through my veins, in my blood, filling my heart and giving me the only life I’ve ever wanted. I know that my time to shine is now, and I know exactly what it will take to get the job done. And lil Marco, the sad truth of the matter is that it won’t take very much at all to get you to tap out and give up that belt. I mean, how much do you even care about being the XWF universal champion? You made it a thing your whole career, then you achieved it, and now you treat it like some chopped liver you’re tied down to. I’m going to show you what happens when you take the very spirit of this federation for granted.

Honestly, it might not take more than a few minutes inside my gut-wrenching guillotine to get you to give it all up! But me? I’m not going to give up on anything come Warfare. I’ve had a rocky couple months in the ring, but that all goes behind me when I step out onto that ramp and stand beneath the stage lights. At that precise moment I’m not my past, I’m not my lineage, I’m not anything….except a LATINA SUBMISSION MACHINA PROGRAMMED TO MAKE MARCO FLEEN SUBMIT!”

LSM lowers her head and crosses her arms as she glares into the camera.

“Marco, your brand has been thoroughly evaluated by Mexico’s greatest luchadora. My findings are as follows:

The weakness of your reign has dragged down our entire federation. Your decades-long career has been capped off by a string of feuds and matches as forgettable as, well, your decades-long career!”

LSM leans forward as the camera approaches for a close-up shot of her in the endzone.

“When I take your championship gold and you inevitably leave the XWF, your name will be forgotten just like it was the last time you left. Your fleeting accomplishments against lesser luchadors can’t save you from the dustbin of history.

But me?

My name will live on in the Hall of Legends for all time, because after I take away the last shred of self-respect you’re hanging onto, I will put together a string of championship defenses so incredible that even ALIAS will get self-conscious about his title reigns! And do you know what the best part is? I’m going to do it all smack-dab in the middle of the first-ever LFL season, becoming the clear MVP across two sports, all because Vinnie Lane knows talent when he sees it! Now if that won’t make el jefe a killing on social media and in merchandise, then I don’t know what will!”

LSM turns around abruptly as she hears her teammates whistling and calling out for her from the other side of the field. It seems like the Quetzalcoatl need their star player to start practice and run the offense! She turns back to the camera with a smile.

“Well lil Marco this has been fun, hasn’t it? I hope it’s also proved educational for you. Stay tuned lil Marco, because before I teach you some lessons in the ring, I’m going to teach you a couple more lessons on match promotion and showmanship. You’re not going to want to miss either of them.”

After flashing a wink and blowing a kiss to the camera, LSM scampers off down the field to begin preparing for the first game of the LFL season. The camera fades to black as we hear whistles blaring and shoulderpads pounding against each other in the distance.

A few hours later, on footage retrieved from Vinnie Lane’s secret locker room cameras….

A bunch of half-naked women are getting dressed after a tough practice and a hot shower. Bobbi London is smacking other players on the bum with a towel, telling them they need more ‘TIGHT ENDS!’ on the team. As Bobbi chases a barely covered La Reina off camera with a towel, we see Robyn Gonzalez walk into the locker room still in her full uniform. It seems like she was the last person to leave the practice field. Her facepaint is pretty much entirely wiped off, her upper lip is busted, and a mixture of dirt and blood seem to have stained her jersey. She looks around the locker room with a big smile as she slaps her hand against her helmet.

“What a fantastico practice, amigas! We play like that against J.P.D.’s Denver Dimes, there’s no way we can lose! We might just win by 20! Ha! The look on J.P.D.’s face will be priceless after that!”

One of the nameless, practically faceless backups on the team speaks up as LSM enters the locker. She is, of course, sitting on a bench with just a team-branded towel on. She knows her role on this team: to give morale support to the stars!

“If you think that’s funny, just imagine the look on Chris Page’s face when you beat his champion on a regular Warfare!”

“There will definitely be tears and twitter blocks coming from all those CCPE cowards after I dethrone the champion, but it’s not just any regular Warfare, Lindsay!”

Apparently LSM is such a good Team Captain she even knows the names of the nameless backups!

“Well, what do you mean?”

“I am headlining the FIRST Weekend Warfare and starting a new age in the XWF. Decades from now people will look back at this moment and say this match is where everything turned around, where the greatest legend was made and the greatest fraud was slayed. No one can afford to miss this show, no matter how expensive the tickets might get!”

“Well, you must have promised to give Azurine free tickets to the match or something, because that groupie is hanging outside the locker room waiting for you…”

“Really?”

“Uhhh yeah, haven’t you seen her Twitter? She’s into you. Are you two official yet?”

LSM blushes and looks to the side as the scene fades to black.