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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Anarchy Boards » Anarchy RP Board
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PlaceMarker Touch my balls
Author Message
Unknown Soldier Offline
HAIL SATAN!



XWF FanBase:
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#1
09-14-2022, 10:58 PM

[Image: il_794xN.4142585557_4snz.jpg]

Unknown Soldier:  "What the fuck is wrong with this thing!"

The super sadomasochistic SATAN! loving meth fiend says while shaking a magic 6 ball aimlessly over his head.  He shakes it so hard and vigorously as if it were an obese woman trying to lose her chicken wing fat arms after only one night with the shake weight.

Unknown Soldier:  "Magic 6 ball, Magic 6 ball, magic 6 ball against the wall, who's the most mediocre wrestler of them all?  Tell me soon and tell me quick or else you'll have to suck my dick!  Will Centurion ever win the Universal title?"

He then slams the magic 6 ball on the ground as hard as he can and the tiny triangle inside starts to swim around for a bit until it finally reveals a message....

ASK AGAIN LATER

Unknown Soldier:  "That's the 666th time it's said that!  Why is that the only thing that it ever says!"

He throws it against the wall and it shatters to pieces with shards of marble and splashes of the water from inside the ball exploding all over the place."

Unknown Soldier:  "Fine, let's try this one instead."

He reaches down next to him where there is another magic 6 ball sitting right in front of him, he repeats the same process of shaking it up and down like a chimpanzee who discovered how to masturbate for the first time.

Unknown Soldier:  "Magic 6 ball, Magic 6 ball, Magic 6 ball against the wall.  Who's the biggest whining liberal cocksucker of them all?  Tell me now and don't delay or else it will be Ghost Tank in which you lay.  Will Centurion defeat Unknown Soldier on Anarchy this week?

He slams the ball down on the ground harder than the previous and the triangle spins and spins until it finally lands on a different message.

SORRY, OUT OF PSYCHIC COVERAGE RANGE

Unknown Soldier:  "Fucking hell on top of horse shit!"

The demonic do-badder says while flinging this ball against the wall just like the previous one and shattering it into 666 pieces.  His face turns a beat red and beads of sweat begin protruding down the sides of his face.  He's shaking profusely with raging anger and pure hatred for a simple child's toy.  First, he used an Oujia board to contact the dead spirit of his former rival Ghost Tank's lost gimmick, and now he's resulting to magic balls to discover the future.  What next, a tarot card reading?  Even in the world of black magic, it appears the rise of inflation has taken a hit these days on all of us and he no longer can afford such expensive things as black cauldrons and wizard's staffs these days.  Thanks Joe Biden!!! 

Unknown Soldier:  "Alright, one last try!"

He reaches down and picks up his third and final Magic 6 ball and shakes this one so violently that the entire house begins to shake and the earth beneath him starts to rumble and the entire scene in which this is filmed begins to fade with blurred lines and shattered television screen and cameras.

Unknown Soldier:  "Magic 6 ball, Magic 6 ball, Magic 6 ball against the wall.  Who is the most petty little pissant of them all?  Hurry please and don't make me wait or I'll bukkake all over your face!  Will Centurion and his pack of raging pussies ever get over the fact that the 'previous administration' embarrassed him and all his 'golden era' butt buddies in XWF so much that they can't stop crying about it and just move on?  Someone more evil and vile and estranged then Donald Trump."

Once more he slams the final ball on the ground as hard as he can and the triangle swivels around and around and finally lands on our last and most important message.

WHO THE FUCK IS CENTURION?"

Unknown Soldier:  "LOL!!!  MY POINT EXACTLY!!!

Soldier chucks the third and final magic 6 ball against the wall, but it does not break.  He tosses it against the wall again with the same result.  He pulls out a hammer from seemingly out of nowhere like he was Bugs Bunny in some type of Looney Tunes cartoon and tries to smash it, but still, nothing happens.  He smiles more wickedly than any man has ever smiled in the history of the XWF.  And if you know the true history of this wrestling federation then you know exactly what the fuck we're talking about.

Unknown Soldier:  "It's true that I may now be a shadow of my former self and that I am no longer the Universal Champion that I once was.  But compared to Centurion at least I can call that a memory and not a miracle.  Because that's what it would take for someone like him whose name is a bit ironic if you come to think of it.  Is it because it would take you a century to accomplish the number of feats that I have laid claim upon in the XWF in a fraction of the time?  I mean seriously, this guy has been around forever and he's got about the same amount of accomplishments and win percentages as Mastermind.  The XWF golden eras version of Mastermind.  A B- on his best day.  Maybe I'll break that Ouija board out and summon up the dead spirit of Jon Brown, so he can remind us all how uninspiring and blah you were back then.  But then again, all we really have to do is watch your most recent match and promo and we'd get the same idea!"

[Image: MGncwBi.jpg]

XWF Record
56 - 20 - 1

1 (X) Universal Champion
4 (X) Xtreme Champion
1 (X) Tag Team Champion (w/ Doctor Louis D'ville)
1 (X) Anarchy Champion
2 (X) Superstar of the Month
Hall of Legends member inducted 9/27/20 at Relentless

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"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane (09-15-2022), Charlie Nickles (09-14-2022), Dolly Waters (09-15-2022), Mark Flynn (09-15-2022)




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