I should’ve known better. Vita Valenteen’s head sinks with dismay, the camera only showing her from the shoulders up. She’s sitting on what appears to be a crate on some rickety boat dock, a tall lantern shining a spotlight below blotting out most of the surroundings with darkness. The Manhattan skyline is visible out beyond the bay. Like you or me do anything other than fail. She looks over, her head still hanging, a frown shaped around her fangs

Fuck me. I guess it’s about time I admit it…

The camera pulls back from Vita a bit, and sitting next to her is Buronan! Pronounced in Kentuckian like: burrow-nayne. It’s the genderless, male sounding character that Dolly protrayed when she was wrestling in the Lethal Lottery 4 tournament. The costume is made up of Dolly’s current ring gear; the all black leggings and long sleeved top, plus a black neck tube covering their head, and a black mask of your fancy. Today it’s a poorly spray painted black Jason Vorehees mask. The voice manipulator that’s embedded into the necktube is made up of some blasted science that no one on earth should have access to, especially not Dolly. The costume also has-

These stilts just don’t kick like they used to…

Pfft. You can say that again.

Buronan stands to a ridiculous and awkward height of almost six foot three. Built into the bottom half of the leg, and into the boots are a pair of stilts. Yes, with the otherworldly new age technology of the voice manipulator is a pair of stilts. Like a gag you’d see in an old quiet film. But these were specifically designed to turn a then five-foot-nothing Dolly Waters into a near six-foot-tall pro wrestler. She had to throw off the scent, no other wrestler in the world at that time was as talented, and as small as she was. Get that right! At the age of thirteen, Dolly Waters was wrestling against the greatest athletes in the world, and winning, while wearing stilts. Advancing to the finals of Lethal Lottery 4 before taking off the costume, and losing to Jim Caedus. Maybe she should’ve kept the Buronan costume on all of these years. She sure hasn’t had much luck being herself.

I thought I could- wa- woah!

As Buronan now stands to an uneasy six-foot-sevenish, their legs sway and stumble, causing the dock to bounce. The fabric in the pant leggings tearing at the threshold of the stilts. They nearly fall off from the dock before leaning forward, Vita reaching up and steadying them at the armpits. The Buronan towers over their fanged friend. Vita’s expression is one of serious disappointment. The Buronan tilts their head mirroring the emotion even behind the mask, the two of them upset at how badly they suck.

I really thought a change could help, ya know? The Buronan kicked so much ass in the Lethal Lottery until that selfish cunt Dolly took back over. But I’ve gotta’ face the facts, Vita. I’m just not as good as I thought I was…

I knew you weren’t a part of the Herocon by the way, I knew you were lying. I was just playing along with your crazy plan. Now the Fat Cat of Crime is gone for good. It’s my fault for being dumb enough to believe that you could beat a bastard like him anyway.

In some insane plot to capture the Fat Cat of Crime, The Buronan tried getting all of Fat Cat’s thugs hooked on catnip. That’s slang for a synthetic street drug that causes people to be easily aroused at even the slightest showing of attraction. The groaning, itching, and feral-like dry humping becomes an intense compulsion. What a great trick to play on the Fat Cat’s homies and catch the bastard without his protection, only the joke was on Buronan and Vita. The thugs were already on catnip, lying around, being all disinterested and screwing themselves. Frozen by a state of disbelief while watching this unfold, Buronan and Vita are too late before they spot the Fat Cat of Crime fly away in his helicopter from the roof of his bastardly crime lair. Leaving Buronan and Vita alone at the bottom with excessively horney thugs.

...what are you… Vita begins waving a hand infront of The Buronan’s face are you okay, or should I call someone?

Oh, sorry! they snap out of it I was just thinking about the whole foiled plot, getting over excited about something I knew was true, and would work, and then being dumbstruck when Fat Cat just ignored it all and flew away with the victory.

It definitely wasn’t your finest moment.

I really tried hard to win, to see our big plan-

-YOUR big plan

Uh! Buronan lets out a disappointed huff, and then tumbles a bit. There’s a moment of quiet vulnerability as Buronan steadies themselves against the rail of a pontoon boat. Vita feels bad and sighs I thought the plan would work too. She helps Buronan steady themselves back upright. I just can’t cut it anymore… and I say that knowing full well I never really could cut it to begin with.

It’s not just you, Buronan. It’s me too. I guess it’s time I give up this whole being a “hero” thing… forever.

I thought I could be that cool anti-hero sidekick for you, the one who’s down to ride and doesn’t mind playing between the lines of morality. But look at us, we’re just changing our image to try and not be the sad bags of suck that we are on the inside. If I were to carry on like this, I’d just become obsessed with morphing, and I’d be someone entirely different every six months. Look at you for christ-sakes! Pretending to be a- rrrgggrrr-

Buronan grabs at Vita’s fang and gives it a good tug, but it doesn’t budge,

jeez! Those things are really glued in there!

No, I ACTUALLY became a vampire. My character morph was that intense.

Might as well lean into then, I mean look at The Thugs. When you’re going through the same stuff they are, having to change up your whole look every so often, that’s when you know you’ve reached a state of complete and utter abandonment. That’s when you’ve given up forever.

There’s some silence between Buronan and Vita, the moment feels tense with sadness at first, but then Vita’s face begins to twist. Her nose wrinkling, her lips sealed but peeling back a twitching smile. She’s sudden;y double over after cracking with laughter.

I’m- I’m between breaths I’m sorry! I couldn’t do it anymore! tears of laughter streaming down her cheeks. The thought of being like Tommy and JB, HAHAHA! It’s too much to bear!

To think I’d actually- the mask comes off -stoop so low showing a smiling Dolly Waters, sporting her now trademark blackeye and busted lip from any number of the insane wrestling matches she’s participated in. You’re just lucky you were wearing that mask, that’s the only way you could’ve been keeping a straight face.

I guess you’ll never know!

The two share a laugh

But I DO know that I WILL know something way more important.

Dolly grins while detaching the stilts from her legs, and then pulling an unusual looking microchip from her pocket.

The Fat Cat might think he’s gotten away with a win for now…

But not before you snagged Fat Cat’s master programming chip from that robot version he’s been masquerading with all over the universe of organized crime. That bastard’s ass is as good as ours now!

Even with things being rough recently, Dolly feels hopeful about trusting the process of teaming with Vita. Did her plan to get the Dolls a match with the Bastards at Relentless played out the way she’d hoped? No. But it doesn’t mean that all hope is lost. She took more away from that match than the cuts from the glass light bulbs, she took away more than anyone realizes. Dolly doesn’t need to completely change who she is in order to see The Midnight Dolls succeed, she just needs to be willing to trust. If she can’t be true to herself, and trust herself, then how could she ever trust Vita? How could she ever trust the process? That’s where the true sacrifice lies.

Later on. Somewhere elsewhere.

   





“Did we break The Thugs?” Asks Dolly with a raised brow.


Vita shrugs, unsure herself. “We didn’t mean to! I thought that The Thugs knew their role in the XWF Tag Team Division was nothing more than to act as gatekeepers!”


“More like bodies to fill a hole!” Dolly smirks.


“Hey, that’s not fair, and definitely not funny!” Vita scolds.


Dolly exhales deeply. “You’re right, that’s not fair. The Thugs may not yet have risen to the top of this division-”


“-Even though they’ve been around for like, a million years!” Vita adds!


“But, that doesn’t make them any less important to this division!”


“Right! Because every good hero needs a villain to SMASH!” Vita exclaims, smashing her fist into her palm. 


“That ain’t you either, sorry boys.” Dolly says with a smirk.


“NOPE! You’re just what your name suggests, thugs. Though I’m starting to question how hard these Thugs really are after listening to JB get up in his feels because The Midnight Dolls aren’t taking The Thugs very seriously.”


“We’re taking them far more seriously than we need to be!”


“We are, but that isn’t enough! JB thinks that he’s doing us some sort of favor by offering “exposure”, and he’s mad that we aren’t being nicer to him! I’m sorry JB, usually I’m pretty chill. I can’t say the same for Dolly, she’s pretty catty most of the time, but I’m chill, right? It’s just hard to find it in me to be nice to guys that lie, steal, and in a few recorded cases right here in the XWF, even MURDER! You dudes don’t deserve candy coated words, you deserve a righteous butt kicking!”


Vita’s brow furrows in anger as Dolly chimes in “And a proper public tongue lashing!”


What the frick are we watching!? You guys are supposed to be preparing for a match! Your supposed to be hustling in the promos to get people excited to see you possibly upset the next Tag Team Champions, and instead…”


”A half baked parody that you couldn’t even get onto the air!”


”AND!! Your defeatist attitude over things not panning out how you’d planned!”


”And you wonder why you’re not being taken seriously!”


”Like I said, Thugs are lightwork, and you guys have proven it time and again! Not just in the ring, just all over XWF television! How many half baked schemes have the Thugs been involved in? How many of those have you guys abandoned faster than you abandoned all hope of walking out of Warfare with that upset? That parody that you guys concocted was proof enough of how serious you two WEREN’T taking us when you decided to throw your names in the hat to step up to The Dolls!”


*AHEM* “Replacements!”


”Yeah, because unlike the two of you, BOB knows better than to take us lightly!”

...and please don’t get it twisted boys, just because I took an L to Thunder Knuckles on Savage changes nothing. If you think that bastard didn’t limp away from that one bloodied up from that sweaty, then yer’ sadly mistaken.

You see, this year has been a rough one for me, I have been to the very tip top of the card, back to the very bottom, and steadily spinning my wheels somewhere in between. It’s been ALMOST similar to what y’all are always going through, ‘cept neither of you are ever realistically getting booked as top billing. That’s not a me problem either, dudes. That’s a Thugs problem. But all the losing I’ve done? Yeah, that's certainly been something yer’ familiar with. So before y’all get all indignant, and act like a handful of the only wins i’ve gotten all year weren’t yer’ direct expense, leave yer’ whining right where my give a fucks lie. I’m not going to blow smoke up yer’ asses, as bad as you want it apparently…

I called Reggie the XWF’s truckstop. I scolded you two for never trying to overcome yer’ weaknesses. I feel like we’ve had this exact same conversation dozens of times and you know what it all boils down to?

GIT GOOD!

True ain’t it? Even fer’ me, even fer’ The Dolls. When we get into that ring Wednesday, when the Midnight Dolls - - - The NEXT XWF Tag Team Champions - - - when we debut, which team do you think is going to look like the team fighting to ascend? Which wrestlers will be truly looking to move forward, and trust the process, and which team is going to be spinning their wheels? Making a joke of being a joke? I’ve taken you boys serious enough to give y’all the best advice, followed by the best ass whoopings I could offer. Time and again. I’m going to tee off on you Thugs one last time on Warfare, because the Midnight Dolls are rolling through and we ain’t looking back! Just like a midnight freight train here to haul away the XWF Tag Team Division.

But I know once The Dolls are on top, the inevitable cycle of having no one left to beat will put us in the ring again. Maybe then you’ll be able to look back and remember what we used to look like before we were wearing gold. Maybe you’ll remember that to really change it’s not how you look, it’s how you trust. Trust you lose, you will lose. Trust in the Dolls. Trust that yer’ at the beginning of a helluva’ comeback story.

Oh, and I don’t really care if you morph between fat, skinny, black, ravens, toenail clippings- y’all do what feels good for the Thugs! The Midnight Dolls are all about the pronouns and fauxnouns and stuff. And we’ll happily kick any version of yer’ asses, anyplace, anytime, anyday.

You don’t even need to bother with a mental image of that- because you’re going to be seeing the Midnight Dolls tearing a new one in the XWF for a long time to come.

You better trust it, Thugs, because yer' sure gonna' feel it on Warfare.

The camera fades as Dolly and Vita bump backs, nodding their heads and folding their arms in a classic tag team pose.

3x XTreme Champion
2x Tag Team Champion (w/ Vita Valenteen, w/ Charlie Nickles)
2x Hart Champion
2x Television Champion

3x Star Of The Month
August ‘21, May ‘17, October ‘16

3x RP Of The Month
What light through sonder... my perception breaks.
Tranquility: For Old Times Sake
Manifest Victory

my loves:
[spoiler]