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X-treme Wrestling Federation BOARDS » Pay Per View Boards » Bad Medicine 2021
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Regrets P.1
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 JimCaedus  Offline
tháinig an fear sin timpeall
TITLE - Universal Champion



XWF FanBase:
Mixed

(loved by some; hated by some; dips between clean/dirty)


Post: #1
11-20-2021 11:48 PM

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CONTINUED DIRECTLY FROM MAIN/CAEDUS COLLAB #1 - "Brothers in Arms are Brothers in Life!"
http://xwf99.com/showthread.php?tid=42267









"Regrets P.1"









This 's exactly what I've always wanted, Jim muses as he tosses back his fourth...or was it fifth...officially licensed APEX Predator.


Not quite as high as the 8.95% ABV in the first officially licensed Apex adult beverage (Bear Republic's APEX Special IPA)- because those rascals in Apex have always been some marketing genius ass motherfuckers making money for both themselves and the XWF (don't forget the charitable donations either, yo) -at 6.5%, but still higher in ABV than watered down corn syrup spazz piss like Miller Lite with it's staggeringly sissy 4.2% and aroma evoking the nostalgia of your parents pulling you away from slurring transients as a child, APEX Predator is just strong enough to allow family and friends to get a decent happy buzz on and loosen up.


Jim watches with a slight smile crossing his face as the Family Main warmly fills the dining room with an ambience of laughter and enthusiastic conversation...


Drewski holding a whole wedge of pumpkin pie out for Kayla as she leans in for a bite, only to playfully mash the point against her lips, drawing out a giggle, before he leans in to kiss her...


Bob-O fraternally wrestling around with Oliver, the two currently in the midst of a theatrical in-ring testing of strength culminating with The Omega smoothly transitioning into a hammerlock then lifting a whooping Ollie onto his shoulders into position for the Dead Man's Hand finisher...



Robert put your brother down, please and thank you.


A quick laugh. Ok.


Hey!


That doesn't mean slam him down.



Momma Main keeping watch- and the house intact -while conversing with Kayla and Drew at the table...



And ol' Jimmy...


Why in the world would these people want me around? I've brought them nothin' but trouble first in 2018, then again damn near to the DAY a year later. I wasn't even there to protect my best friend in the business when that pussy Tee Kay attacked 'im.




Jim's smile fades.



I'm such a fuckin' piece 'a shit...but Bob-O and Drewski find it in their hearts to forgive me. Present their BACKS to me after stabbin' 'em. And Robert's family...never been anything other than a surrogate fam for my worthless ass... Pops Dewey-



Jim rubs at the sting in his eyes and rises, heads for the front door and steps out onto the porch, quietly closing the door behind him. Staring out into the surrounding woods-



Pops Dewey...you were the only father figure I knew since killing my own...




Revisiting Events Seen Previously in Robert Main's "Cookies, Trees and Bears!!! Oh My!!!"
http://xwf99.com/showthread.php?tid=30059





---December 2017---



Having been summoned by Robert's father to lend a hand in chopping and gathering firewood- then encountering and fighting off a _motherfucking BEAR_ -we join Jim and Mr. Main as they crunch through the snow in the woods heading back towards the Main homestead.



Jim...thank you for what you did back there. I mean, it may sound trite under the circumstances but-


Sir I didn't do anything Bob or Drew or you yourself wouldn't have done in my place. Anyway, I gave Bob my word to keep you safe.


I can't remember the last time I ever hit a bear over the head with a tree, young buck. To be honest, I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't seen it with my own two eyes. How'd you do that? You juicing? I've seen big men pull off impressive feats of strength but you Jim, and no offense intended...you're a little guy. Solid muscle sure but that shouldn't have been possible.


Pulling his gold nugget on a chain out from beneath his shirt with a laugh. No steroids. It's all thanks to this, sir. It's a long and complicated tale but long story short, there's some kind of force in this nugget that makes me stronger when I need it most. A LOT stronger.


Dewey raises an eyebrow. What, magic? A chuckle.


Shrugging it off. I honestly don't know sir. I know it sounds crazy.



The two walk on in silence for a few moments before-



So Jim...Robert told me about what happened with your dad.


Slight flinch. ......


Gives Jim a sidelong glance as they walk on. It's ok son. If I'm crossing any boundaries, I apologize. We don't need to-


It's alright sir. What Bob told you is true. My dad's dead because of me.


That right there. That's why I brought it up. Jim......you can't go through life carrying a burden like that on your shoulders. Robert told me you use the nightmares from your past to fuel your anger for the ring, we've seen the end result of what it's made you capable of. You've accomplished a lot. But young buck, guilt like that... it's eventually going to eat you alive. You have to let it go.


With all due respect sir, how else should I feel about it? My dad had a heart attack, he called out, I ignored him and let him die. It's my fault.


Placing a firm hand on Jim's shoulder, halting him. It wasn't your fault.


Nervous smile. Yeah, yeah, I know. Cue the violins Good Will Hunting. Takes a ste-


Stops him. Hey, smartass. Jim, eyebrows steepled in pain, meets his gaze begrudgingly. You had no way of knowing he was having a heart attack, that's idiotic. From what I've been told you spent what, six years caring for him? People in situations like that...they deal with an unbelievable amount of stress. Patience wears thin. Tempers flare. You made a mistake. We all do. Some larger than others but it was an innocent mistake son. Believe me when I say this...your father loved you. He loves you now. He's proud of you. And I'm sure the only thing that has his spirit not quite at ease is how you carry his memory as a poor reflection on yourself.


Tears running down his cheeks into his beard, now unwilling to meet Dewey's eyes. How could you possibly know that sir?


Because I'm a father and I love my son. There's nothing Robert could ever do to lose that. Ever. I'm proud of him, no matter what happens. And if- ...when...when you become a father one day Jim, you'll understand.



---Present Day---



Jim gazes out into the woods, tears running down his cheeks as he recalls the events.



Jim?



Jim jumps, not having noticed Robert stepping out onto the front porch.



Wipes his face, trying his best to hide it. Hey Bob-O.


What're you doing man? Come back inside.


Turning. Bro...I'm so sorry about your dad. ...I... I'm sorry. I know I said it before but I'm so fucking sorry Robert.


Robert's cheerful expression drains slightly. He casts a downward glance, swallows, then looks back to Jim, nodding. I know...


And I'm sorry I'm brining it up but I was remembering...Pops Dewey and I.. I never told you but we had a long talk on our way back from the bear incident. ...About my dad.


Robert steps forward, resting his forearms on the railing. Yeah?


...Yeah. ...He uh..he tried to tell me some things. Get my head on straight.


Did it take?


Not everything...and it wasn't for lack 'a tryin' bro, I just... You know how I feel about it. But what 'e said did make me feel better...a lot better...about certain things. And thinkin' back on it all...I...I feel like shit that I never took the time to thank 'im. Let 'im know that what 'e told me helped me and meant a lot. Then that shit with Chaos and Engy happened..then that meltdown in 2019... Years fuckin' fly by incommunicado between us- that's my fault man -then the shit with you, Page and TK hits, I finally come back around and get swept up in everything and I...I missed every opportunity to tell your dad before-


......I'm sorry I didn't tell him.



I'm sure he knew.


.......He spoke about you while tryna talk me outta my guilt. Told me he knew my dad loved me and was proud of me and when I asked how in the fuck that could possibly be the case he said... He said because he's a father and he loves you. Is proud of you. That nothing you could ever do would ever take that away and if I ever became a father I'd understand what he was saying.



Robert doesn't respond. He stares out into the woods silently.



I'm sorry brother...this is a shit time to bring this stuff up.


No...it's a perfect time. I miss him. I wish he was here with us, he loved Thanksgiving. ...Thank you for telling me, Jimmy.



They share a bro hug.



Get your ass back inside man, my mom wants to talk to you about Arcana. The night's not over yet.



Arcana.


Not a subject I wanna discuss right this second...




Tell 'er I'll be in soon bro. I have a little business to take care of first.


Ah, Bam Miller?


Indeed.


Knowing smile. Door'll be unlocked brother.



Robert heads back inside while Jim descends the porch steps and begins walking into the woods, an appropriate place for an Apex predator to cut a promo.


Using the same technique he has now for decades, allowing the resurfacing pain to fill him, absorbing it...molding it into the fire that fuels him...Jim trudges along as the pale illumination from the full moon lights his path, broken through the towering treetops, occasionally casting Jim in shadow...





[Image: cyPNSwI.jpg]







It's.


Miller.


Time...








Hey Bammer...guess what?


Now..........







You're.



M
I
N
E




[Image: 2mcMzbp.png]



You unbeLIEVABLY naive, numbskull of a motherfucker...you HILARIOUSLY suicidal sack 'a soon-to-be-slaughtered simpleton.


Who the FUCK d'you think you're fuckin' with here?


HUH!?


Attack me left and right outside 'a the 24/7 Halls...


SPIT on me??


STEAL my _HARLEY_!?


And for what? That war with OCW I wasn't even involved in 'til YOU involved me? That's where this started did it not? You- for NO reason WHATsoever -runnin' in and attackin' ME after my match with Dolly. So what do I do? I pay you back on your own turf which, for the record, is how vengeance works you relentlessly retarded cocksucker.


What's your next move?


You legit man-toddler your gimp ass on over to the XWF aaaaaall by yourself- points for balls the rest 'a the OCW roster lacks, I'll give you that -and sign up. Not to compete though, hell no, why do that? You're only a wrestler amirite? The fuck would a wrestler be doin' actually wrestlin'? Idiot's notion, my bad.


Anyway, y'sign up and y'try to get revenge on revenge and pin me in the halls.


So I kick out and I have Arcana poof your punkass ten thousand feet above OCW headquarters...but NOT before I strap a parachute to your carcass so ya don't splatter...and whadoo I get for my kindness? You saunter on back like a dumbass lackin' all sense 'a self preservation and y'CONTINUE fuckin' with me.


How long you been on the roster now asshole? A month goin' on two?


Not a single match.


Not even another pin attempt in the halls, just run-in after run-in and ambush after ambush. You know what that makes you- DESPITE the balls to come start trouble alone -right? That makes you a grade-A


P
U
S
S
Y



Demandin' a shot at MY X-Treme Championship at Bad Medicine, meanwhile, what the FUCK did you do to earn it?


You call yourself the Top Guy Slayer...all you've been is a spineless limp-dick with your constant surprise attacks and yet


I.


Still.


Stand.


As the XWF X-Treme Champion.


You ain't slayin' SHIT but any hope of a future you thought you had here, horse's ass, and I'll be sendin' ya back to your flaccid former boss to beg 'im entry into 'is lil' exclusive circle-jerk club where over-hyped unjustly credited clowns like the People's Scrote somehow still command respect while avoiding all true competition _here_ in the XWF.


Yeah, YOU asshole. Fuck you.


But back to Bam Ma'am...I'm curious...exactly how many Top Guys is it you been slayin' in this business, bitch? IF there were any, you talkin' OCW?


Hate to break it to you...but OCW Top Guys equal


X
W
F

M
I
D
C
A
R
D


There's ONE promotion in all of professional wrestling that boasts the absolute BEST in this business and it's the


X


W


F


Period.


So fuck an interlopin' 'Top Guy Slayer'...you ain't shit but an incompetent twat. For example...


Looked over your contract info...


You honestly tellin' everyone your REAL first name is _BAM_?


🤣


You- 🤣 You- 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 You either got the most braindead parents in the world or you're a flat out liar. Or maybe just a dipshit who loves Jackass and is too fuckin' thick to uncover the secret readily available truth that Bam Margera's real first name is Brandon. Christ, you're as staggeringly creative as that duncecap "Crash" over in TPW.


Fuck it though, a rose hack by any other name and all that. Don't tell me your name won't apply to our bout however...coroners gonna need it when the question of who the mangled mass 'a meat is AFTER the match. So let's move on...


...to the part where you state your "main focus is wrestling".


Really? Coulda fooled me and the entire Universe 'cause you clearly ain't been doin' it, dummy. Next item on the docket...


...so you were raised in foster care huh? "A dumpster baby" you say? 🙄 Why do I feel like the guy who claims his real first name is Bam and lies about wrestling bein' his main focus while he does anything BUT wrestle is tryna score pity points with a truly fucked up fabrication?


Nah, y'know what?


Me too.


I was a dumpster baby too, Bam. In fact, I was CONCEIVED in a dumpster as well. Gimme title shots and coddle me. Ladies and sensitive gullible men, run to my defense and someone gimme my participation trophy.


Fuck you.


Jag-off...that ain't how it works. Didn't no one take it easy on me, didn't no one pity MY ass when I crawled into the XWF homeless so you'll find no fuckin' soft side from me on your alleged past.


All you do anyway is chug beer and ramble in your promos- so much for the dedication to weight lifting you claim, lyin' fuckstick -and that's a...gee whiz that's a fantastic way to turn your life around from bein' found in the dumpster. I guess you're lookin' for the fastest way back you shameless SCSA/Sandman rip-off. Gonna take a HELLUVA lot more than sittin' around gettin' pissed to Top Guy Slay ME you asshat alcoholic.


You're a fuckin' punchline compared to me, Bam.


You want horsepiss? I got some horsepiss for ya. I'ma fill up a bottle 'a Miller Lite from the tap called my thoroughbred cock and I'ma dump it on your face after the match. How's that for humiliation?


No worries champ.


Tastes Great. Less Fill...ing?





A sudden crashing through the brush interrupts Jim's angry tirade, diverting his attention. He turns, frowning, heart racing, as a massive form lumbers his way...



Jesus. Fuck.



He reaches up to grasp his gold nugget on a chain...


...only to recall he'd just lost it beneath Disneyland. Walt had taken it. He'd never gotten it back before Arcana had nuked Vault Disney.


His golden nugget is gone.









shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhit.




To Be Continued...


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