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Atara Raven · (10-15-2021)

Hello Doves!

We're just going to get right into the thing this time, same shit as before. I'm going to take a completely done tried and true promo method and beat it into the dirt. Throw in some theater students to play whichever of you I might have picked a role for, ya know, to skirt around any unspoken rules, wait....

...I've said this before. Effin echoes, ffs™

Anywho, absolutely no continuity blah blah. Random idea thrown at the wall, eff a gimmick, story arch, depth of character if you don't like it...

I'm Effin A to the T to the T to the Yyyy...because I can bitches. Minimal effort and still as good if not better than everyone. Jot it down, discuss it at the next FM fap session. Think about me at your next Burt Reynolds fireplace photo op, plenty will come up to talk about and if it doesn't.....

...well nothing actually, but still...beside the point. Anywho, time to roll cameras. Don't expect to be amazed but I promise I'll atleast change scene or setting once.

New Promo Segment

What? I'm European. Just following your perception.

You know what really grinds my gears?

The severe lack of consideration in this roster. I'm out there for this company day in and day out slaving over a keyboard shilling everything I can that's XWF. I'm defending you against that 5th grade play pretend company OCW. I talk you up, I like and respond to those tweets that get no love just so you don't get down on yourselves. I pretend to watch your promos, I mean I watch your promos.

I bend over backwards for you and not a single one of you motherfuckers thought to give Atty a call. Poor Overworked & Underappreciated Step-Mom Atty had to find out at Relentless about Noah Jackson!

You all know I love that kid like I forced that undeveloped bald cranium out of my own cunt. Like I nursed him with Victoria Bitter from thine own breast. These breast.

I expect it from his father. I expect it even from Betsy and maybe even James....but you people.

You make me sick. I'm sending a card around and you had better fucking sign it. With nice things!

Alright, time for a recap because I know you self absorbed twats don't follow....Thad.

Last time on "Atty Says Things," we learned The Goddess' thought process and how much of a creative genius she really is. We seen how she is easily most the versatile aesthetically pleasing member of the roster and it doesn't matter if she is in a bikini or full on scale armour. She can effin do it all.

Jane of all trades and she got bars for days. We witnessed the complete dismissal of an opponent, an already fragile confidence dissipated with a brush of Atara's hand. We watched a bed time monster devour a child and in the ultimate twist....an act of kindness.

A gift was given. A favor...charity...and so petty bitch was he, thy offer of piece was spurned.

Those are rare photos you nutless masked blunder. You can't afford another one, mix tapes ain't gonna cut it. Emo or Cloud John, cuz you sure ain't gangsta.

Anywho, after I verbally and metaphorically broke into his home and had consensual sex with his wife while we forced him to watch, invited sooo many friends to join and bred that hoe, this cuck was still willing to drink what little of Atty oozed out and then I drew property of Atty on his forehead in permanent sharpie. After his ass was 'metaphorically mine I went to Chicago and went John Wick Baba Atty and Xtreme Wrestle-Fu'd him literally.

Which brings me to the next item. I told you if the idea was successful, which I also said would be, their would be a sequel. Guess what, Doves....

From the Goddess that brought you all the heart stopping, Twitter thotting thrills
Of

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Atara Themis returns as Aphrodite Incarnate in the next installment and she's back for Blooooood! Super Awesome Sexy Sultry Skilled and Serious Assassin, Aphrodite Incarnate, has dealt with the THUGs of Chicago who killed her vibe but she's not finished yet. From the South...a place we aren't exactly sure of right now, a miscreant crew of Latina Subs I've been very bad girls and that kills Atty's vibe

Retribution Will Be Had. Punishment Will Be Delivered AND You Best Believe, Aphrodite is SPANKING THAT ASS!
Partnered With
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The Budget Is Bigger Bay Bay....no...no.

I refuse.

Hold On to Your Butts Doves. It's about to get.... Mediocre

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Aphrodite Incarnate
2
Latina Submissive Domination

Previews. If they're not here...take it up with marketing. We didn't get the memo. If they are....ignore this

Opening Title Sequence With filler stuff no one remembers.

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Actress. Actor. Actress. Names we already know are in the film and ones we don't care about. Open credits are dumb. Fuck you Academy. More Filler.

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Director. Producer...blah blah...you guys get the gist. More Filler.

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And Finally

Introducing Noah Jackson as guy in hospital bed you inconsiderate pricks.

Scene: A diner, duh. Probably in Mexico, idk. Is that where she's from. If not, we are going with Nicaragua because giant Jesus.

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Hello Doves.

Hello Anarchy Champion.

Latina Submission Machine.

I've heard good things, Dove and I see from the belt around your waist they weren't completely unfounded. No need to respond, I know you've heard of me and if you haven't, sorry you don't get cable in that gun assembly hut down in...where was it...

I'm sorry. Did that line already, and that one to. Repetition is bit of a thing here and I see you fell right along in step. Going to describe in detail every move in the repertoire you'll use to defeat me. To put me down. To twist and bend and me and tie me up. To get me to whimper or scream the safeword.

I quit. Get me to tap. Please do Dove, spare no detail and speak any language. The dirty talk hits different in a different tongue. They usually try my language, but of course they do.

Soy opio y aunque saben que no pueden, todavía lo intentan.

Ti tha eínai loipón? Tha me váleis pagidevméno chorís poú na pas.

I'm not exactly sure what you have seen in the XWF so far Submission Senorita, but I assure you, you haven't met an athlete like me. Born and bred in wrestling's birthplace Dove. Baptised in the old art and despite the watered down thing you see in the Olympics, it's a very deadly and very varied martial art.

It conquered the world.

It will conquer you.

Legends fear it.

Champions have succumbed to it.

If you think any different, think you have any answer, consider the bodies hanging around South America and remember they thought they could get one over to. Had the same the audacity and went through a world of pain realizing the truth I am kind of to let you in on before hand.

This is me at my nicest, Dove. I have know personal vendetta against you. Shelve the assured hubris coming my way and accept defeat.

A Goddess only warns once, consider this yours.

Praise Themis.

So after an intense hand to hand fight scene with like......a bazillion bad guys dress in BDSM outfits and wielding crazy dildo weapons, flogs, fails, and a very gross and graphic usage of a penis pump our villains are introduced and our heroes ultimate goal is layed out yadda yadda...we insert the parody characters. Idk, Big D in a rabbit mask and harness, full frontal...(we CG'd the D) Betsy was there, um she was...the 9-5 waitress accosted so naturally Atty Wick had to go extra HAM on that guy. Who else, Theo.

Yeah, Theo. He was just Theo sitting in the back paying no attention and eating his eggs Benedict. Thunder Knuckles all done up like that guy in This Is the End with Bourbon Tatum on a leash....sweet. Rip offed two films.

James Raven was there...no that's later in the unnecessary but necessary sex scene. Of course these aren't the real people but payed actors.... unless Raven sell, you know what nvm. The main story is these guys stole John Black's picture and tore it up. Ruin Atty Wick's vibe and we're getting revenge.

So, Aphrodite Incarnate or Atty Wick looking spiffy sexy in a suit despite being a little banged up leaves to find whoever started this whole thing right. She's in a Subaru WRX STI because...reasons...high speed chase. Booms, crashes, explosions, dope music, a guy on St Andrews cross kinds like the guitar guy from Mad Max banging his wang on the metal pole like that meme thing.

Even getting memes in this thing, get on my motherfucking level you tryhards...

You can't, you hurt yourselves already doing whatever it is you do.

Oh shit whats that, a Jet Plane comes from knowing and defying physics Atty Wick jumps a ramp and lands on that shit. Crawls the wing all Centurion Cruise gets in the cockpit...get it...with all the sex stuff..and chokes the pilot out with anal beads. Takes control of the plane.

Batatatatatatatataf machine fine fires a bunch of stunt doubles on vehicles that shouldn't have been in the chase, lands that shit like a boss.

We are gonna make soooooo many of these.

Somehow through the thick of, she knew where the main bad guy was and winds up at his spot. Theirs a super duper villain protector guy that's gets the best of Atty Wick and she's captured.

Editors Note: We are are of multiple continuity errors in this film, (grammar) and have tried to correct them. At the behest of the films star, by gun point, she has insisted they be left in because the errors give her opponents s fighting chance.

We apologies for any inconvenience this causes in the flow and enjoyability of this film.

Also, the movies featured star Atara Themis request we ask you to suck our buttholes.

So she's captured right. All tied up Wonder Woman Lynda Carter style.

FYI that movie they did about Wonder Woman's creator was pretty neat. Check it out.

So Bondage and stuff, this is where Raven actor comes in. Of course he saves Atty Wick and even after the traumatic experience she just had for some reason they still have sex and afterwards he helps her find the bad bad guy while Raven handles the first bad guy. This is all pretty generic stuff and I assume you know they kick lots of pleather covered masked Latina Submissive ass.

The End.

Moral of the Story. Don't wear a mask and call yourself a submission machine. That's low hanging fruit.

Also, COVID. Wear a mask. Get the Vax or Atty Wick Gonna WaX that Ass.

Aphrodite Incarnate 3 or Something Else.
You Decide.
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Message Atty on Twitter With Ideas
@AtaraThemis

We forgot product placement. Duh, capitalist swine. Thanks Charlie! You are useful!

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Atara Themis' Ouzo Aphros by Berreto's
Crafted for a Goddess
Available to You

Alright, prolly should have saved that announcement for Jim Caedus, where my attention should actually be but commitments ya know. This came first Latina so lucky you me and my people started assembling this before he wrecked me with that first piece of his.

Nice guy but I know you he wrecked you to. Right?

Idk, I'm not TK with a scout or one of these other 'superstars' who est sleep and breath XWF. This is were I go on my repetative tangent about how I'm super famous.....

Like Super Famous.

Ridiculously Famous.

I'm literally headlining two super shows while simultaneously paying lip service to midcard afterthoughts like you who most likely got lucky on some bullshit technicality in her Anarchy match.

Anarchy is a shit show, especially with Kenzie gone. Miss her and Sarah. I mean facts are facts Dove, I watched 3 minutes of one your promos, promptly turned it off poured myself some Vhodka and Twitter spammed the past two weeks. I really don't know what your schtick is and your only getting this much out of me because Dolly said you were legit, but fuck as much as love that girl she has worse judgement in character than I do and it appears even less in judging talent.

You literally telegraph your moveset. In a promo. I mean, fuck, I love minimum effort and I'll take the cheat sheet but seriously....staaawp.

Stop.

Hey Google? How do say stop in Spanish.?

No, not how do you make spinach. Spanish?

Spanish!

Google I said Spanish!

Eff it, Latin is better anyway.

Anywho...yeah. I'm a multiple time champion. Atty 3 Belts. Alpha Bitch...yadda yadda...

I'm just here so I don't get fined. Can I make that joke. Is it still topical. Don't think I hit anything topical. Where's my checklist....

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