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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Warfare Boards » Warfare RP Board
PlaceMarker Not yet, Mark
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Dolly Waters Offline
Always.



XWF FanBase:
The IWC

(gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)


#1
08-31-2021, 10:56 PM

The scene opens up at a CHAMPS KidZone! Bowling Alley. Why? Because that’s where Sam Elliot has been sitting, drinking Sarsaparilla and telling us all this awesome teamwork story about Dolly Waters and the Latina Submission Machina.

Sam, yer’ doing a kick-ass job so far…

[Image: giphy.gif]


Dolly and LSM walk into the bowling alley, all sweaty and having just completed a grueling team-building exercise… twenty consecutive games of laser-tag. They grab a seat next to their personal vignette narrator, Sam Elliot, at the snack bar. Naturally, I'm not paid nearly as well, or am I as interesting as Sam.

...don’t you think so, LSM?

"¡Sam lo está haciendo increíble!"

“Coming from you ladies. That oar-fully means a lot.”

Yeah, take a well deserved break, good sir. Yer’ welcome to sit here and listen if you’d like, but LSM and I obviously need to brush up on our teamwork by proving we can have a back and forth conversation.

If you don’t mind, I’d sure like to sit here and have me another Sarsaparilla.

Of course you would… by all means… The soda bar is yours.

"Gracias por la ayuda, señor Sam."

So, LSM…

¿Qué pasa?

We just watched Mark Flynn and Comrade’s promo, right?

Dios mío, tristemente.

Anything stick out to you?

Do you think North Korean War Criminal really believes that being drafted to the team with the Universal Champion and the 24/7 briefcase holder counts as ‘great strategy’?

No whoa, whoa, killer! I probably shouldn’t let you sit back and just shoot from the hip like a normal wrestling-

LUCHA LIBRE!

Ehem.Pardon me. Luca LIBRE -promo. No... You and I need to bounce back and forth more, ya know? The way Flynn and Comrade did it… because great teams sound like they’ve scripted one anothers lines.

It literally took them two weeks to come up with all those jabs. That’s just sad. Two weeks of saving up all their nastiest barbs, and that’s all they could come up with? Ay Dios Mio. Their OPENING lines of verbal attack were purely responsive- is that all they can do? Open up their assault by responding two weeks late? If you respond two weeks late to one of my submission holds you’re going to find yourself missing your arm, your leg, and every last shred of confianza you had!

Well, let’s give em’ a break. Flynn is only just getting back into the swing of things, and War Criminal doesn’t appear to have a clue about what’s going on around him.

For real! Like, did that gringo-in-yellow-face really say that you’re wrestling two matches tomorrow night? AY DIOS MIO! Don’t they know you’ve already had your OCW match?!?!

l-o-l yuh. Dumbass.

I won’t spoil the result because I can’t afford to be sued by the second best wrestling promotion in the states- but let’s just say, you put on a show that those two nincompoops could NEVER equal! You’d think someone who’s entire gimmick is based off a caca Seth Rogen movie would know a thing or two about how TAPING shows works!

What can I say? Think about the commune. Think about WarGames. Think about the Margarita Mix. Think about what you and I are going to do to Mark Flynn and Comrade. If it’s one thing I’m pretty good at, it’s teambuilding.

See, if Flynn ,and Comrade were half as good as they claim, Mark wouldn’ve never let his partner say something so dumb. I mean… look:


Dolly pulls out her cellphone, and shows it to the camera. On the screen is an image of a social media post from the official OCW Twitter account.

[Image: j0YG41W.png]


What day was August, 23rd?

How am I supposed to know?

Throw me a bone, chica! Check yer’ calender!

LSM pulls out her phone and scribbles her finger around the screen.

MONDAY!

That’s right! The OCW matches are taped on Tuesdays and aired on Wednesdays. If Comrade is half-as brilliant as he wants the world to believe he is, maybe he would have dug a little deeper with his patented half-ass investigating.

You know Dolly….maybe we should cut them a break here too. I mean, I thought Mexico was a somewhat poor nation, but they really can’t afford to do ANY RESEARCH at all in North Korea! I wonder how that nuclear program they have is going….with this top-notch super-spy level of research, I’m starting to think they’re just throwing uranium rocks at ballistic missiles and hoping for the best!

Now, LSM! Let’s not bring up objectively true statements about North Korea, we’d maybe be called racists by a couple of guys while sitting down at a table and blathering off cringe Mexican tropes.

They remind me of these videos I’ve been seeing on facebook! Usually it’s just a man ranting and raving about more successful women from inside his truck, but I suppose a table works just as well!

Dolly snorts out a genuine laugh.

Whining and complaining inside an insulated room, where no one can challenge your insecurities- it’s the classic male approach! Those two seem real angsty about the fact that I’ve won more XWF championship belts in three weeks than North Korean War Criminal has won…..EVER. I’ve already marked the freestyle championship and the billion dollar championship off my checklist- but I suppose those two will just say those belts aren’t ‘real’. Odd….they felt pretty real around my waist! The bonuses on my paychecks were certainly real enough to deposit into my savings!

Girl! Yer’ well on yer’ way to becoming a big star, do you know why? Because yer’ taking the XWF seriously. Sure, you had a setback in first match, but there were literally two robots out-

LSM draws a wry glare across her face and interrupts Dolly,

Set back? I didn’t even get pinned! I didn’t submit! In Mexico, that’s not even counted as a loss!

No! I know! I get that… do Flynn and Comrade? Of course not. They got everything wrong! The fact is you’ve never been pinned, or submitted in yer’ career. That’s more than can be said about either of those guys.

LSM raises her hands like saying “gracias!” as Dolly continues,

But then again, nothing about these two makes any sense. It was only a couple of weeks ago that Flynn recorded a vignette of him running through all of the impossible realities about the XWF. The robots, the aliens, the werewolves, the super babies-

Duke’s war harboring death squad? Literal war criminals likely sought by the international courts for violating the Geneva conventions just parading around in public?

Right! Stuff like that…

The point is, Flynn suddenly acted surprised about the impossibility of my schedule? Comrade DID fed him misinformation - imagine that coming from a fascist- but c’mon!

The guy just admitted that he knows all of the time travel stuff, and flying phone booths in the XWF is real. How could he honestly be so shocked that I might be able to be in two different places on the same night? It’s either he’s a dumbass, or he and Comrade were just reaching or something, ANYTHING to talk about.


Those two are estúpido! I mean seriously, those two really are not all that bright. Like come on, did they really come at you for having TOO MUCH tag team experience? Like that’s somehow a burden! Who are they to give you tips on what ‘good tag teams do’? You and Hector have been making good tag teams look like amateur enthusiasts for weeks in that Margarita Mix!

Dolly holds her hands out and shrugs,

Baffling. I know. But it’s okay, LSM. Let Flynn and Comrade be all baffled and bum-fucked when we start tearing into them in the ring. The two of them saw my match with Betsy, they saw what I did at WarGames, they’ve been keeping up with my OCW matches, even though they’ve apparently pulled too many pages off from their calendar. If they’re not convinced by not that we’re going to pummel those two, then nothing will change their minds.

They had plenty of time to watch what you were doing at war games while they were backstage letting Corey Smith and Alias carry their team to victory! …..Do you think they’re under the impression that Corey and Alias will come out to clean up their mess again? Do they think that’s how this whole ‘teaming’ thing works? I guess it would explain why they haven’t been focusing on us these last two weeks…..they’ve been leaving all the heavy lifting to Corey and Alias!

Well, you heard what Flynn said about the WarGames match. It was all an elaborate plan to keep Thad ogling over Flynn’s junk or something. Getting himself eliminated while playing up a Relentless match with Thad, and making the odds more difficult for Corey and Alias, somehow “helped”. Stupid. But you see that type of stuff from wrestlers all the time. They try and French-up, or reimagine the results of their matches to fit their narrative.

But isn’t that what we kinda’ just did with my Anarchy match?

Absolutely not! I was there, and I watched the match happen myself! Flynn and War Criminal weren’t in the arena, just ask Sam Elliott.

Sam Elliot just shakes his head “no”,

See! And Sam Elliott knows everything!

Does he know where Mark Flynn’s talent went? The guy went from
numero dieciséis on the all time list to….well…...this! I don’t think it’s fair to say he lost a step….I think he misplaced the entire staircase!


Well… yeah. Did you hear the things the guy was saying about bringing on the Apocalypse? Shit the bed. Mark Flynn is an absolute psychopath. Listening to him is kinda’ like watching those old Charles Manson interviews from prison. At first it’s a great laugh, but then you realize the guy actually means what he’s saying, and that he has no concept of reality.

Charles Manson?

Ooooh, he was the famous leader of some death cult in the sixties... he manipulated a few women to murder these celebrities.

Sort of like all of that gibberish he was feeding War Criminal?

I would imagine it was almost exactly like that…

I mean we’re talking about Comrade here, afterall. The North Koreans believe that Kim-Il sung was brought down by doves from the heavens or some shit to rewrite Karl Marx. Comrade must be willing to believe anything. I mean these guys are supposed to be tag partners, a type of relationship that requires trust and understanding, yet Flynn had his partner hooked up to a lie-detector test. I believe Flynn is TOTALLY manipulating Comrade, and I would never, EVER do that to you, LSM!


Say wwwhhhaaaaatttt? Are you implying that someone who has dedicated his entire life to serving a country based on the worship of one royal family is easy to manipulate? It must be how starved and mentally deprived the Kims keep their populace, it makes them willing to fall for anything! If I tell North Korean War Criminal that the word ‘gullible’ is written on the ceiling tomorrow night he’ll probably just lay down on his back for me to try and get a looksies!

Well, like I said, Flynn has the Charles Manson look about him when he’s blathering to Comrade. They even have similar beards, haircuts and facial structures. So I take him at his word that he means what he’s saying.

But let me make one thing clear to Mark Flynn…


Dolly deliberately faces the camera,

Buddy, your thirst for death and destruction don’t outweigh my love for life and prosperity. If you wanna’ bring all of that End-Times nonsense to the XWF, that’s fine. Death cults like the former Left-Hand get stomped out quickly. I have no problem being the person who puts an end to yer’ little fiasco with Comrade before it even starts. You may sneer at the XWF, or my current workload in this company, but dude yer’ just as inexplicably ‘here’ as any werewolves or robots. I found my way to the XWF when I was thirteen. I’ve been wrestling, and defeating, grown men like yer’selves ever since. I love this business. I love the XWF, and I’ll be damned if I let you get rolling on this apocalyptic “victory” quest without Dolly Waters having anything to say about it first.

They want to be a death cult? That’s fine by me. I respect religious diversity- I’ll make sure to beat them both half to death so that way they can feel a little bit of divinity in their mundane lives! All it will take is one tight chokehold and they’ll be seeing those pearly gates and asking San Pedro to forgive them for their god-awful promo work!

See boys, this is where you’ve made a horrible misstep. LSM and I are an actual team. Not two credulous jagoffs who’d be best off in a padded-room, compelling one another into making rookie mistakes.

It’s like those two exoticos share the same tainted, calorie-starved mind! They’re not going to be able to work as a team like us, they’re not going to be able to compliment each other’s strengths and weaknesses like we can.

Sucks for them, huh? Our ability, and our desire to actually thrive in the XWF, to succeed, to grow, to be challenged, and not see it destroyed by the North Korean nuclear missiles is what separates us from Flynn and Comrade. They wanted to balk at how hard we work, LSM.

Think about that…

They think it’s a joke that we actually take this wrestling stuff seriously. They joke that yer’ too green, and that I’m too busy to pull this off… saying I should pull the plug on our partnership before it even gets started.

They don’t know Dolly Waters too well, and they’re in for a rude awakening once they actually get tangled up by one of yer’ holds in the ring, LSM.

You and I are the perfect team and I’m happy, and honoured, to have you as my tag partner... Flynn and Comrade are about to find this out first hand.


Only someone with no dedication to the craft would think to sneer at someone for actually wrestling like it’s a full-time job! They think we’re over-achievers for taking more than one booking every three cycles. I bet they think we’re wasting energy going to the gym and lifting weights. Why work out when you can just NOT work at all? Those two are so content to star in a little buddy cop comedy that they’ve completely lost sight of what we’re all here to do! Namely, WRESTLE! Do you think they’ve even hit the mats once since the pay per view? I’ve had two matches in the last week. You’ve had a half dozen matches in the last month. But what have they been doing? Hooking each other up to polygraph machines and playing 21 questions like they’re at some sort of North Korean slumber party!

Well, we did what Flynn and Comrade says makes a great team… Do you feel any better at tag wrestling now?

LSM: Not really, this felt cheap and easy.

That’s because it was.

“You see folks, where Flynn and NKWC need cheap tricks and distractions to win their matches, these two smokin’ sammies don’t need nothing but a little bit of elbow grease and a shovel to bury their opponents in a hole so deep they could never hope to get out.”

Saaam! I thought I told you to sit this one out?

“I know, darlin. I’m just eager to get going telling this here story again.”

Well you can do that after we win on Warfare mañana!

AYYYYE!

Dolly and LSM bump fists as the scene fades.

3x XTreme Champion
2x Tag Team Champion (w/ Vita Valenteen, w/ Charlie Nickles)
2x Hart Champion
2x Television Champion

3x Star Of The Month
August ‘21, May ‘17, October ‘16

3x RP Of The Month
What light through sonder... my perception breaks.
Tranquility: For Old Times Sake
Manifest Victory

my loves:
[spoiler]
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[-] The following 8 users Like Dolly Waters's post:
Atara Raven (09-01-2021), HeavensToBetsy (09-01-2021), JimCaedus (09-01-2021), Latina Submission Machina (08-31-2021), Lycana (09-01-2021), Marf (09-01-2021), Mark Flynn (09-01-2021), Theo Pryce (09-01-2021)




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