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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » March Madness 2021 PPV Board
Market Saturation Part 5 -or- Fear & Loathing: RP #3
Author Message
Thaddeus Duke Offline
Lionhearted
Management Lv. 2


WWW

XWF FanBase:
Some of everyone

(cheered; very rarely plays dirty but isn't lame either; many likable qualities)


#1
03-27-2021, 07:53 PM

Three Days Later




U.S. Highway 93 || Somewhere in Western Arizona || 1:12 AM


All things considered, I’ve had a blast with Corey. Our apologies to any lingering and lurking Corey and Thad shippers, but that’s gonna remain a bromance only. I love that boy like nobodies business but it really was like kissing your grandma. Or at least, something like that. I never had a grandmother, except Liz… Shit, maybe that wasn’t the best analogy?

Back to Corey.

I was happy to be there for him, to help him figure things out. To be clear, I never really thought he had any legitimate romantic feelings for me and I know I never had any for him. Again, that’s not to say I couldn’t, I just hadn’t. He’s my brother. He has been for the last two plus years and if I was a god fearing man, I’d pray that never changes. It was important to me to say what I said to him about not prescribing to checking boxes. And it was important to me that he heard it. People don’t fit into boxes. Boxes are for those that are uncomfortable seeing a man love another man, a woman love another woman, and everything in between. Love is abstract… it’s what you make it.

Just being with him has this… I can’t quite describe it… but whatever it is that he has, allows me, and I would assume others, to forget their problems even if only for a little while. That little while though, really is enough in the grand scheme of things. Whatever the fuck this trip was, it kind of put things into perspective for me without it even intending to. I haven’t done anything extremely stupid in the wake of losing Frankie and that by itself honestly shows a lot of growth.

”Why are you pulling off?” I ask of Corey as he steers the Lincoln off the highway. ”We’re like ten minutes from Nevada.”

”I really gotta pee,” Corey answers as he pulls into a gas station.

”There was like 300 miles of empty desert back there and you waited to find a gas station?” I ask of him as both of us exit the car.

”Yeah but there’s scorpions and snakes and all kinds of shit out there man,” he says as we reach the door. ”I really don’t want to get my weiner stung… or worse,” he concludes with a wink.

”Yeah good point,” I say as a smile grows on my face. ”You get your weiner bit by a snake, I am NOT sucking out that poison.”

”That hurts man, I thought we were friends,” he says as he turns and rushes down the aisle toward the mens room and disappears.

”Hey my guy,” I say toward the disinterested clerk as I peruse the candy aisle. He looks as though he’s in his mid forties with a weathered face and he’s a bit unkempt. ”Got any chocolate covered nuts or something like that?”

He sighs and grunts as he stands from his little stool and grabs a bag from behind the counter and tosses it on the surface as I approach.

”Anything else?”

”Nah that’s it.”

”30 dollars 40 cents.”

”The fuck!?” I exclaim in complete shock. ”I can get nuts for free back home!” I wonder what Garrett’s up to, anyway.

”This ain’t home,” he says, unamused.

”Just gimme ‘em,” I say as I stick my card in the reader. ”Fuckin’ thirty bucks for some damn nuts,” I mutter under my breath as Corey comes up beside me. ”These better be god damn good,” I tell the man as I slide my card back in my wallet and grab the bag off the counter.

”You’ll love ‘em.”

Corey and I head back out to the car.

”What was that about?”

”I don’t know, I let that future Leatherface in there get me to spend 30 bucks on some fucking nuts.”

”Jesus,” he says as we both dip inside the car. ”He sure saw you comin’.”

Future Leatherface steps outside and lights a cigarette.

”Where you headed anyway?”

”Vegas,” I answer him. ”Do you meet many people in this part of Arizona not goin’ to Vegas?”

”Guys night out?” he asks in the midst of an inhale.

”We’re wrestlers,” Corey calls out. ”For the XWF.”

”I thought that was you,” he says as he takes a drag. ”You’re wasting your time though, Them No Good Bastards are gonna win.”

Neither of us respond verbally. Instead I tear the little flap of the bag of nuts and hold it in my hand out the window while staring Future Leatherface in the eyes, then drop it to the ground outside the car.

”You rebel!” Corey jokes, causing me to laugh as he backs the car out.

”Hey Leatherface,” I call out to the guy as he picks up my litter. ”Fuck you buddy!” I yell out with a flip of the bird as Corey drives away and back onto the highway, both of us feeding ourselves handfuls of chocolate covered almonds. ”They’re pretty good,” I say between bites. ”Not for thirty bucks though.”

Back on the interstate, Corey pulls off the road.

”What are you doing?”

”That place was a wreck,” he says as he shifts the car into park. ”I couldn’t pee in there.” Corey steps out of the car and rushes himself in front of the car to take a leak.

”You know uhhhh,” I call out the window toward him before taking a couple nuts in my mouth. Shut up. ”Maybe you don’t wanna do that in the headlights cuz I can see your weiner.”

”Yeah well if there’s anything gonna bite or sting, I have a better chance of seeing it.”

”Judging from what I can see, you don’t have much to worry about,” I say with a chuckle.

He jerks his head in my direction and slowly raises his middle finger at me causing me to laugh harder. Back in the car and back on the highway, we roll along at what seems like a snails pace for twenty minutes.

”I thought you said we were ten minutes from Nevada?” he questions.

”We would be if you weren’t going like 20,” I say in response.

”I’m goin’ 70,” he says with a shrug.

”In a 75 zone, pick up the pace gramma!”

”Hey, feel my face,” he says as he leans his head toward me a few inches.

Honestly I’m a little perplexed by his ask but whatever, I’ll humor him.

”Okay,” I say as I touch his face. ”Now what?”

”Does it feel tingly to you?”

I drop my hands to my side.

”Core, how would I feel if your face is tingly?”

Eyes to me, eyes to the road. Eyes to me, eyes to the road.

”Y’know that’s a good question,” he says as he stares out toward the highway.

Just then an old Beach Boys song pops on the radio.

”OH MY GOD!”

”What!?”

”C’mon sing with me,” I plead quickly.



”No. Thad, I’m not much of a...”

”Aruba, Jamaica, oh I want to take ya,” I begin.

”C’mon man!”

”Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama,” I continue singing and Corey shakes his head with a smile. ”Key Largo, Montego, baby why don't we go, Jamaica.”

”Off the Florida Keys, there's a place called Kokomo,” Corey begins.

”YASSS!”

”That's where you wanna go to get away from it all,” he sings as he tries to stop himself from laughing. ”Bodies in the sand, tropical drink melting in your hand. We'll be falling in love to the rhythm of a steel drum band.”

”Down in Kokomo!”

Corey and I both look into the backseat where Doc has just appeared in his mysterious Doc D’Ville ways.

”Aruba, Jamaica, oh I want to take you to Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama. Key Largo, Montego, baby why don't we go,” Continuum sings and we’re not sure why yet.

”Oh I want to take you down to Kokomo,” I sing as Corey and I peer into the backseat and as quickly and as mysteriously as D’Ville arrived, he’s vanished without a trace… ‘cept for that lingering cigar smoke. ”We'll get there fast and then we'll take it slow. That's where we want to go, way down in Kokomo.”

”Martinique, that Montserrat mystique,” Corey continues.

”We'll put out to sea and we'll perfect our chemistry, And by and by we'll defy a little bit of gravity.

“Afternoon delight, cocktails and moonlit nights, that dreamy look in your eye, give me a tropical contact high...”

Corey flips on the interior light and snatches the bag of almonds from my hand.

”Way down in Kokomo...”

”OH MY GOD!” He cries out as he slams on the brakes and pulls off the highway.

”What the fuck, Core?” I say as he bails out of the car with my nuts… you know what I mean. In the beam of the headlights he paces back and forth and does circles. His demeanor causes me to worry so I too bail out. Approaching him, he stops frantically pacing and leans over, resting his hands above his knees.

”There’s THC!” he yells as he holds the bag in the beam of the headlight. ”I think I’m gonna be sick.”

”Oh shit,” I say quietly before grabbing the bag and tossing it into the desert sand.

”This is a relapse!” Corey cries out as he drops to his ass on the side of the road.

”No it isn’t,” I say as I lean down and sit next to him, draping my arm across his shoulders.

”No it’s definitely a relapse Thad,” he fires back quickly.

”It’s not,” I try to reassure him. ”You didn’t inhale anything, you didn’t stick a fuckin’ needle in your arm...”

”If you stuck me with a heroin needle, is that not a relapse? Did I not just get high?”

”Oh c’mon man,” I say, pulling him a little tighter. ”You can’t compare THC and heroin or anything else.”

”I know but...”

”But nothing man, this was a goof Core, entirely unintentional. This doesn’t negate all the work you’ve put in to overcome your past man.”

”You don’t think?”

I shake my head.

”Why would they just sell this shit over the counter like that?” I ask rhetorically.

”He knew who we were,” Corey says as he looks over at me. ”Maybe he was aware of...”

”Corey that’s not you anymore,” I say to him and he looks up at me again. ”You’re not that person.”

”You don’t think?” he asks quietly.

”Fuck no man,” I answer him. ”I don’t look at you and see a drug addict.”

”What do you see?”

”Corey Smith,” I answer him and he tilts his head like “c’mon man” but stops shy of rolling his eyes. ”I see the best friend anyone could ever want. I see my brother, blood or not. I see a young man finding out who he really is without having passengers for the first time in maybe his entire life. I see a good dude that saw an off the wall guy like Alias for who he is, and not what he’s perceived to be.

“I see a man that’s had my back even when he doubted whether or not he should.

“I see a hot,”
I continue with a laugh and it causes him to chuckle. ”Loyal, ridiculously talented man that I’m proud to call my brother.”

”I hate that guy,” he says, referring to the store clerk.

”Wanna go back and beat him up?”

Corey laughs lightly.

”No… but...”

”But what?”

”I really need to get up because I’m sitting on a rock.”

”I’ll drive since you’re stoned,” I suggest as we get to our feet.

”And you’re not?”

I shrug. ”I really don’t feel anything.”

”Yeah, why is that?” he asks and I shrug… exactly as long as Shawn Warstein. Fuck you Fuzz, sue me.



Back in the car after Corey’s totally understandable freak out and the Continuum Band performing Kokomo, he relents and allows me to finish driving us to Vegas. Rolling down the highway, we comes across a sign that reads: Kingman 10 miles.

”COREY!” I shout out and start laughing.

”What?” he asks as if I snapped him out of a deep sleep. ”What’d I do?”

”You went the wrong way, no wonder we never made it to Nevada!”

”Oh!” Corey exclaims. ”How bout that?”

After jacking the e-brake and with squealing tires, I turn the car around in a very dramatic manner so we’re once again heading the right direction, I notice something in the rear view mirror.

”Un-fucking-believable,” I mutter under my breath.

”It’s not that big a deal, really...”

[Image: LGKojr8.jpg]


”Corey I don’t want you to panic, but what’s about to happen is...”

He notices the flashing reds and blues as I’m speaking, and starts to panic.

”Oh my god oh my god oh my god,” he says frantically.

”Corey, I got this man. He has no idea we’re high as fuck,” I say as I steer the car onto the shoulder.

”OH MY GOD! I DIDN’T EVEN THINK OF THAT!” Corey yells out. ”I’m goin’ to prison!” he cries out as a tear rolls down his face.

”You’re not goin’ to prison.”

”I’d be a highly desirable commodity in the clink Thad! I can’t go to prison!”

”License, registration and proof of insurance,” says the officer as he approaches the window. I go on retrieving my wallet from my back pocket as Corey hesitates.

”Sir I have to go into the glove compartment,” Corey says worriedly, still probably thinking about prison. The cop only nods as he flashes his light on Corey’s face.

”Where you two headed?” he asks as he shines his light on my drivers license.

”Vegas,” I answer. ”Just win, baby!” I tried...

”Do you have any idea why I pulled you over?” he asks.

”Officer,” Corey interrupts as he hands off the registration and insurance. ”Did it have anything to do with...” Quickly I slap my hand over Corey’s mouth. You never admit to anything.

”I don’t have the slightest idea,” I lie. I know it’s the over dramatic u-turn.

”I saw you bust that illegal u-turn back there,” he answers. ”Care to explain?”

”We were at a rest stop awhile back near the state line, when we got back on the highway here we just realized we were going the wrong direction.”

”Mmmmhmmm,” he replies unamused. ”Sit tight,” says Officer Jimbob as he heads back to his cruiser and Corey backhands me in the shoulder causing me to look at him.

”Would it kill you to have just done a normal K turn?”

”How was I supposed to know there was a cop lurking? We’ve seen all of one car in three hours man.”

”I have to pee,” he says quietly and suddenly. ”Like really bad.”

”You just went like a half hour ago,” I remind him.

”I know but I drank a fuck ton of water and I really gotta go man.”

”Wait till Officer Hardass takes off and just go.”

”Can’t,” he replies as he starts holding himself and wiggling back and forth like a 7 year old. Taking my nearly empty bottle of YooHoo from the console I take its final swig and hand the bottle to Corey.

”Drain yourself to your hearts content,” I say as the Officer exits his cruiser and begins that slow walk back to Corey’s Lincoln.

”I’m not done!” he stammers as he watches the officer approach in the mirror.

”Pinch it off, finish in a second,” I advise him.

”Everything checks out,” says the officer as a speeding semi truck nearly clips him. ”JE-SUS!”

The truck is followed by a speeding Trans Am.

”You two be safe!” yells the officer as he reaches for his radio.

”Hey Thad?” Corey calls out as he screws the lid back on the bottle. ”Was that Diesel?”

”All units!” he cries into his radio. ”Highway 93 north, an 18 wheeler with Michigan tags Delta-Sierra-Lima Bravo-Oscar-Bravo!”

”Seems that way, but I think Thunder Knuckles was in the car.”

Officer Dumbass trots off to his car.

“Remind me not to drink that,” I say as I steer the car onto the highway as Officer Whatshisname speeds off in the distance following that speeding semi and Trans Am tandem.

Several quiet minutes later, I pull off the same exit where we started this journey.

”What are you doing?” he asks as I pull into the same little gas station from earlier. Future Leatherface is outside smoking another cigarette and recognizes us immediately with a quick wave. I steer the car in circles in his empty parking lot, flipping the guy off. He just shrugs and shakes his head.

”Corey, piss bomb,” I say as I continue doing circles in the parking lot and flipping the bird.

”What?” he asks as I open up the sunroof and grab the YooHoo bottle, handing it to him.

”Stand up, and throw it at the curb by his feet. Teach that fucker not to sell drug laced candy to a couple of unsuspecting idiots.”

”Sir, you’re the idiot,” he reminds me.

”I mean, if you wanna get technical.”

Corey smiles and stands up, poking his head through the sunroof, and launches the piss filled glass bottle toward the curb. It strikes the pavement near the clerks feet and explodes on impact, showering the mans lower legs with urine. He barely flinches.

”Fuck you dickhead!” Corey yells at the man as he flips him off before ducking back inside. Steering the car toward the road, I quickly pull back around and slow up beside the clerk.

”Hey do you know where there’s a Lenny’s?”

”Denny’s.”

”Whatever.”

”Across the line in Laughlin,” he answers.

”Hey thanks man,” I say as I begin to pull away.

”Hey that smells like piss,” he calls after me and I slow it down again.

”Because it is,” I state, shooting him a ‘duh’ kind of look before taking off again. About fifteen minutes later, after crossing into Nevada I pull off of Interstate 11 and come to a red light with Denny’s across the intersection from us.

[Image: X6atxkT.jpg]


Sitting at the light I emit a deep sigh.

”I hate red lights,” I say for no particular reason.

”Yeah me too,” Corey says as he hangs his head out the window, staring up at the stars.

”I’m sorry I got us both stoned,” I say to him.

”It’s okay,” he says as he continues staring. ”I think we’re comin’ down now though.”

”Probably a good thing though.”

”Hey,” he says as he pulls himself back inside the car. ”Can we talk about Lackawana?” he asks.

I shoot him a puzzled look while pondering before it dawns on me.

”...you mean Lycana?”

”Yeah that’s what I said,” he insists.

”You said Lackawana,” I say with a laugh.

”No I didn’t,” he shoots a smile back in return. ”Anyway what’s goin’ on there?”

”Nothing,” I answer him and he stares at me for a few moments in disbelief. ”I’m serious man. Nothing is or will be going on between me and Lycana.

“I enjoyed the flirting and all that but...”


”A lot of people flirt with you,” he argues.

”Yeah and its never not fun,” I admit. ”Lycana is the Left Hand and I don’t have relationships with despicable people just for fun. That’s what I told her that night on Warfare after Edgar beat her.”

”Really?”

”Not in those exact words, but before Baphailure took off, they branded Alias and they threatened your life and I’m not about to turn my back on my best friend and his friend simply to get my dick wet.

“I can get that anywhere.”


”That’s kind of a relief to hear.”

”She might not have been the one performing those particular acts but association matters to me.

“Maybe I shoulda fucked her though,”
I say with a smile.

”Ewww! No, why?”

”To find out what that left hand is all about,” I joke. ”I feel like we been sitting here for ten minutes, what the fuck is up with this light?”

”Maybe its stuck,” Corey offers as he looks around at the nonexistent traffic. ”Thad, I think I figured out why the light isn’t changing.”

”Oh do tell.”

”Because its a stop sign,” he informs me and I shoot my head to the right and low and behold, a stop sign appears on the corner.

”Son of a bitch,” I mutter as I pull the car through the intersection and into the Denny’s parking lot.



Inside America’s Diner, Corey and I sit quietly perusing the menu and downing our drinks in seconds.

”So what’ll it be?” asks the waitress as she sits on her leg beside Corey in the booth after setting down a couple refills.

”Um can I ask about your specials?” he asks a little timidly.

”Sure!” she answers excitedly. I think she likes him. ”We have...”

I zone out as she speaks, just sitting here drinking my Dr. Pepper.

”We’ll just take it all,” I say as she finishes up. Her and Corey both stare at me.

”That’s like...”

”...a lot of fucking food,” she finishes his thought.

”I said what I said,” I say as my stomach growls in hunger. ”We’ll take all the specials.”

Later, Corey and I are both lying back on the booths, lingering dangerously close to food coma.

”Why did you order so much food?” Corey asks as he stares at his eyelids.

”I was hungry,” I answer him. ”Plus, I didn’t realize it’d be like thirteen different plates.”

”Bet the cooks were fuckin’ pissed.”

”Together?” the waitress interrupts.

”Why does everyone think we’re gay!?” Corey blurts out as he sits straight up in the booth. Clearly his insecurities have not gone away.

”Relax killer,” I say to him as I sit up. ”She’s asking about the check.”

”Oh I guess that makes sense.”

”One is fine,” I inform the waitress as she sets it down.

”I’ll take it when you’re ready,” she says as she starts to walk away.

”Corey I think she was talking about you,” I say with a smile. His face turns red and she giggles as she walks away. ”Well I’ll say one thing about those almonds… my thigh doesn’t hurt anymore.”


Some Time Later



[Image: ragrTBS.jpg]



What a trip it has been and what a ride. Corey steers the Lincoln into the valet parking spot outside our hotel and he and I both get out and stretch.

”I need a nap… and a toilet. Not in that order.”

”I was just thinking the same thing,” he says as he hands the keys off to the valet attendant.

”What a strange fucking trip its been man,” I say as we head for the door. He nods in agreement.

….


….


”Excuse me, language...” comes a voice from behind us. Corey and I stop suddenly and stare at each other wide eyed.

”Cinderelli,” we say quietly.



Are we feeling the heat Thunder Knuckles? Do you think we’re feeling the heat? Do you think we’ve lost confidence because two out of shape blowhards filled a couple promos with playground insults, hot air, and a parody? It takes more than you got to shake this confidence my man.

I have literally never heard anyone talk so much and say so little as Thunder Knuckles has in this promo fest. He’s spent his time telling everyone thirty different ways that “Thad promos are boring.” Gee. Never fucking heard that before. And it works none of the time and I really don’t suspect this time will be any different.

Thunder Knucks… my man if you don’t want to remember the past. If you don’t want to reflect on that title, then why do you continuously bring it up?

“He’s gonna say it Robbie. I’m calling it now! Thad’s gonna talk about the TV title that I don’t care about anymore even though I keep bringing it up and…”

Do you see how easy it is to bait you into talking about what you didn’t want to talk about? I spent all of twentty seconds setting that trap and watched you walk right into it and it didn’t even cost me any xbux. What the fuck are you even talking about the mask for dipshit? I didn’t wear the mask in the match and what that proves is that you wouldn’t have beaten me with or without it. Despite the mask, I wasn’t really hiding who lurked beneath it.

See how that works? I’m not supposed to talk about a match last summer, but he can bring up the mask I didn’t wear in that same match last summer. For a guy that didn’t want to talk about it, you sure as shit droned on and on about it didn’t you?

That’s what sets guys like you apart from guys like me. People like you, talk. People like me, listen.

TK do you realize how stupid you sound when you say Doc carried my dead weight to the tag titles? Do you realize who won that match for Continuum? Or are you just throwing your own shit at the wall at generic insults and just saying whatever your shit lands on? That’s what it sounds like my man. You can think as little of me as you want to, it makes no difference to me or anyone else but you. Facts are reality and the fact is I won the tag team championship for Continuum and the reality of that situation is we are, and Sunday night will still be the reigning defending tag team champions. At least you have that tag team turmoil to fall back on so you can get back to climbing those rankings for your third unsuccessful shot.

Maybe I ranted about Page, as you two so cleverly pointed out, and no it had nothing to do with this match but unlike one of you, at least I said something relevant to the task we all have before us. Even an unrelatable tirade is better than no tirade. Talking about you for even just a little bit is better than not talking about us at all.

Right?

I’mma just say on the record that our prediction that we’d be facing Them No Good Bastards at March Madness had less to do with Robbie and Thunder Knuckles than it did the opponents they were facing. I mean, c’mon… Morbid Angel and Mastermind? The highly undecorated tag team of Jobber Juan and Jobber TwoTree would give those assholes a run for their money. It wasn’t exactly rocket science to predict. It didn’t take a fuckin laboratory, not a calculator, not even an abacus.

Yep guys, yer gud.

Feel better now?

They’re coming for us like a tsunami, oh golly, whatever will we do?

We’re defending the titles, Corey’s beating “rookies”, I’m beating nobodies, Them No Good Bitches are beating teams of nobodies… So I guess we’re all on equal footing then. Sure doesn’t seem like a fuckin tsunami. Apparently being relevant, in their minds, means beating nobodies and hoping someone besides them gives an actual fuck.

The difference between what I think and what they think, is that I know beating nobodies like Wylde and Little D does nothing for me. They think beating nobodies like Salt & Pepper and Morbid and Double M does anything but lead them right to the doorstep of another loss when it counts.

Robbie thinks that because I spend a few minutes talking about something else or someone else that that somehow means I’m not focused on them as opponents. If all you’re doing as looking at the surface, which is all they’ve done with anything said in their direction, they’re missing the torpedoes coming at them ready to blow their hull and sink their little pirate ship.

We’ve seen you coming for two months. It isn’t because you’re some spectacular tag team. It isn’t because you guys are full speed ahead. It isn’t because we’re “afraid” of big bad Robbie Bourbon and his baby boy TK. It’s because all of the other relevant tag teams have found themselves either losing or waiting to lose to the former and future King of the XWF, Doc D’Ville.

Come Sunday night I hope you bring your fat pants, because Corey and I are about to give you more than you can possibly eat and that’s actually saying a lot… I didn’t start out with that intending to be a fat joke but here we are…

March Madness is on our doorsteps and the shiny trinkets you seems so ready for? They stay where they belong: in Continuum’s Kingdom.




[Image: UmZtMlt.png]

[Image: wgqr9W2.png]
74-31-1
Semi-Retired


1x  XWF Universal Champion || 3x  XWF Xtreme Champion || 1x  XWF Supercontinental Champion (First)
1x  XWF Hart Champion (Last) || 2x  XWF Television Champion || 1x  XWF Tag Team Champion
1x  OCW Savage Champion || 1x IIW Tag Team Champion  || 2x  SOTM (9/20, 7/21)
2021 Male Wrestler of the Year (shared w/ Alias) || XWF Hall of Legends
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ALIAS (03-28-2021), Andre Dixon (03-28-2021), Corey Smith (03-27-2021), Lycana (03-28-2021), Prof. Bobby Bourbon (03-27-2021), R.L. Edgar (03-27-2021), Theo Pryce (03-28-2021)




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