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The Blue Tango · (02-10-2021)

Today, is the day. After spending a year finding myself through meditation, it’s time to head back to America. My time in Tibet at the monastery has been extra-extraordinary! My monk brothers took me into their home and I believe I’ve truly reached my center. Zen bay-bay. Good-byes never really bothered me, but this one hit a little different.

Calypso stands outside of the monastery gates while several monks stand within looking down as if praying. One stands in front of Calypso and before he knows it is embraced by the former 7-time XWF Federweight Champion.

*SOBBING* “I’M GONNA MISS YOU MOST OF ALL BROTHER HAROLD!!!!” *SOBBING*

Calypso squeezes the monk tightly and cries all over his robe. The monk tries and finally manages to shove him away.

”Please! Just go! Leave this place and never return!”

His eyes light up and snot runs out his nose...

”Brother! Your Oath of Silence!”

The monk rolls his eyes.

”You broke your oath…..”

*SOB*

“… For me?”

”Just go! Please!”

Walking away from my brothers was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but I completed what I came here to do. I was taken by surprise when I finally reached some civilization and international travel has been banned. How was I going to get back home?

The Wayfair crate is pulled open and out rolls a completely nude, sweaty Calypso onto the floor. He gasps for air and crawls about like a newborn baby as the older couple who released him stand gawk at him.

"Ronald, where is my end table??"

"God dammit, Gladys… How the hell should I know? I told you I didn't trust ordering this shit! The news said they use furniture retailers for human trafficking!"

"I will call the constable…"

Wait! Stop!!

Calypso gasps.

Where…. Am I?

"You're in my house, sonny!"

"And in the nude!"

The old woman includes as she stares down at Calypso's skinny member.

My apologies, m'lady…. It was VERY hot in there… and I forgot to pack food.

"You ate your clothes?!"

Where am I? What town? What city?! What state?!

"Millburn. New Jersey."

Calypso lets out a sigh of relief.

I… made it…

Calypso explains that for the last year he has been away on a mission of life. The poor old folks had no interest in the reason for his naked intrusion and eventually managed to push him out the door after tossing him a pair of slacks and a winter jacket. So, with no money and barely any clothes Calypso was headed back to NYC.

It's great to be back, y'all. I haven't been tuning in too much over the last year, as I was finding myself, but I would bet my last dollar (if I had one) that the XWF has been missing some Calypso! The former seven-time Federweight Champion knows the kind of presence he had here and knows that y'all just couldn't get enough! That's why I'm back, bb! I couldn't hold out on you guys any longer and right before March Madness! I never knew the XWF got involved with college basketball, but hey, my boy Vinnie Lane knows how to put those seats to asses! And I've been known to sling the orange pumpkin around, myself, so watch the fuck out!

Let's not get ahead of ourselves tho, bros! We got a Wednesday gig coming up first and Calypso gets to show the world that he ain't be missing no steps and is ready for the ultimate challenge! So, bring on the Demos!!

This reminds me of my first match in the XWF, bruh! It was against Ghost Tank in a meathook match! Needless to say after a few cuts and scratches Calypso took foen the beast and was victorious which led to all my success in the Federweight Division… Demos, will you be my new Ghost Tank? With weapons available to play with and surely a meathook buried in the pile…. Could this be the resurgence of the Master of Federweights?!?!?! Only time will tell, my pretties!

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