“You did what?!?”

Ned threw up his arms, looking closely at his psychiatrist Dr. Pheelanruff as if the good doctor was insane.

“I really don’t know how you’re getting surprised by this kinda stuff now, Ned. I help you out and I got inventive ways of doing it! Cut me some slack, buddy!”

Ned tries to refute him, but only stammers a bit while sighing.

“Fair enough, but an attack ad on Vita?! She’s not running for anything! We’re not winning by vote, just by skill! Besides, I like her! She’s a good kid!”

Urias Pheelanruff points his finger firmly in Ned’s face.

“WRONG! That’s just what the “media” will tell you! Watch!”

Urias presses a button on a small remote that doesn’t do anything before exhaling and pulling up the YouTube video for Ned.

The video begins with a collage of pictures featuring Vita in full color, all making her seem very heroic.

“Vita Valenteen: Icon, aspiring young athlete, scourge of BOB-“

“Exactl-“

The pictures suddenly turn black and white as intense music plays.

“LIAR.”

“Goddammit.”

“She may look as though she is an upstanding protector of justice, but what about her relationship with Noah Jackson, the vulgar Australian and the only XWF wrestler to get Twitter banned more times than Peter Gilmour?*”

*According to a 2020 Peter Gilmour survey.

“Not only did she date Jackson, but while they were together, Vita began the consumption of a mysterious sports supplement that had performance enhancing drugs added to it! And Noah Jackson called her out on it. If he’s your voice of reason, what does that say for you, Ms. Valenteen?”

Ned shakes his head in shame.

“On top of that, instead of supporting reform or aide New Zealand after the tragic Christchurch shootings, she instead attempting to go back in time, potentially rupturing space-time for us all while coming up empty handed.”

“Support for Vita Valeteen is support for someone who doesn’t tip their driver and ignores your quantum safety. Lend your support for the integrity of space-time. Support Ned Kaye.”

The video stops as Ned rubs his temples, trying to calm himself now.

“See, it’s great!”

“We’re not running that. That’s defamatory, rude, filled with obvious lies-“

“Actually, all of that was true.”

Ned pauses, giving a bewildered look, turning his head to look Urias in the eyes.

“Wait, the time travel thing... was real?”

“Yup.”

Ned takes a moment to contemplate exactly how he got here, silent as his face contorts.

“Do you want me to run it?”

“No!”

---------
“I thought pretty extensively about what to say tonight.”

Ned shifts in his seat, taking a deep breath as he runs his hands together.

“It’s one of the few genuinely tough situations you get put into as a public figure. Do you focus on your job or your feelings? What if they relate? Can you do both? Is it worth getting every eye roll and bit of criticism? Unfortunately for me, history has shown that when my focus shifts to politics or personal views over my opponent, my chances of victory are hurt. But I don’t think they’re necessarily separate in this case.”

“I want to get one thing out of the way first: Vita Valenteen is a good person. She opposed BOB and even took a title away from them, which is more than Vinnie Lane as done. Vita is not an enemy of the honest, hardworking people in that locker room. And she deserves respect for rekindling her values after thoroughly abandoning them. And make no mistake; she turned her back on her better judgment to be in with the Sick Cunts. She dated and enabled Noah Jackson and all of the awful things he did including winning my cat through a draw and continuously pushing cereal so sugary that it can never be defined as “healthy” and hardly be classified as “edible.” Vita knew what she was doing, but she did it anyway. The question is: why?”

“Unfortunately, the answer is a large scale acceptance of placing results ahead of principles. Vita Valenteen isn’t the exception, she’s the rule. And this became the issue across America and it’s directly responsible for giving groups like BOB a leg to stand on. And on the night of Election Day in America, many of those here went to sleep, especially those who live around me and feel as I do, they slept with a stomach tied and a mind full of dread. Dread that every celebrity and website only served to hurt the chances of a more normal future. Dread that hope was in a state of drought. But then the morning came. And that’s not me being poetic or flowery with my choice of words, no, as the sun rose, many of those here who needed hope more than ever found it in spades. And as I sat in New York, a city that has been stirring for nearly two decades in the shadow of a great trauma, the significance wasn’t lost on me. There ‘s no certainty about where our country is going or where my match with Vita is headed. But I stood for the coming dawn even when it knocked me down.

"Vita didn’t."

"That’s not exempting her from my respect, but it happened. She has to fight from now on knowing that. And when I fight, I’ll do so knowing that the darkness might not be done, but the morning is coming. Maybe not today, but someday. And I will do my damnedest to make it sooner. Will you, Vita? That’s the thing about standing for principles: it’s not easy. It’s never easy, but that never makes it less right. Show me what you’re made of, Vita. What’s underneath that skin? Have you earned my respect fully or are you still conflicted? But don’t forget:”

“The morning will come. And I’ll do everything I can to help the sun shine through the shadows. And that’s a lifelong promise.”

"You can't run from yourself."