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Atara Raven · (04-09-2020)

Our scene opens up and takes us to a sunny pool side located, obviously, somewhere with a subtropical climate. A place of 200 plus days of sun a year, beautiful coastlines and one of most important historical records known to man and before you say it John, no...not Africa. The president said that place was a shit hole and he's right about everything, especially natural disasters and global pandemics. That's beside the point, and so is the location. The important thing is that sitting pool side were both the Themis sisters, Atara and Osira.

Stretched the length of two lounge chairs, they basked in Helios light seemingly oblivious to the approaching camera. On their laps lay two chunks of leather bound metal gleaming in the rays of Greece. On Atara's was the silver sheen of the X-treme title and on Osira's the hideous face of the Federweight belt. As the camera moved closer it eventually caught the attention of Osira who sat up and nudged her sister. Both woman faced the lens and from some where unseen music began to play subtly in the background.

"There we are, proper eye candy and honey for your ears. Anything to detract from the fact this promo pertains to two of the most irrelevant and useless pieces of shit on the roster, but hey it's a new era now and the useless pieces of shit have been hitting that exit quite hard lately. Tommy, John, when you follow suite don't let the door hit you on the way out and thank you for all you couldn't do."

"Really I mean that. All that dedication, all that hard work, all the hours put into this business that never panned out for you. It really helped pave the way for all the people who have trampled you through out your time year. I mean, what would the wrestling be without it's jobbers and guys, few people job better than you."

"Jim." Atara interjected.

"Oh yeah, Jim is pretty good but does he actually try to win?"

Atara shrugged.

"I mean these two guys, these two doom bringers of the XWF, they actually try...right?"

Atara shrugged

"I mean, this supposed graduate of the hard knocks John. The murderer who drops hot fire bars, essentially every black stereotype you can imagine rolled up and buried behind a kids Dr. Doom Halloween mask....

"What about him?

Didn't he get slaughtered in a rap battle by a white girl?

"It wasn't a definate but I feel I did pretty well and don't say white girl. John hates white women.

"So he's racist and sexist?"

"Osira, we've been over this. It's a requisite of employment for the XWF. You have to be one or the other.

"What did you put down?

"I put sexiest...they can't read.

"What, really? I did to!"

"SAMES!"

It was at this point the two sisters, now distracted by a conversation of everything else they may have unknowingly done the same ignore the camera completely. It had nothing to do with how completely uninterested and unworried they were about losing to two men who could barely put together a coherent sentence much less be competent inside the square circle. Not at all. We are going with that old female stereotype that women have little attention spans. Thats what it was. Fight me...look...a squirrel. See.

Eventually this segway would end and it was Atara who took the camera's focus.

"Hello Doves! Today I would like talk to you about a new venture. With the recent departure of Madison Dyson I've decided to follow her example and have myself partnered with GOOP. You can, in fact, now order a My Vagina Smells Like This candle scented like yours truly."

"Yes, really! An idea inspired by a XWF mail room jerk off. An idiot who just like our opponents couldn't manage to win or hold a 24/7 title, all three of which I have won and two of which I now hold, the smell of Atara's vag can be the center of your discussion."

"But why Atara...please tell," Osira asks with emphasized sarcasm

"Thanks for asking Osira. I have decided that if my cunt is going to be used as a talking point I might as well profit from it. Eleven promos and pin attempts since Madness have used me or my pee shooter so I'm expecting huge royalties in...

"Pee shooter..."

"Shut up.

"Ok, but haven't you made a profit with that yeast box already?"

"Oh you mean this?"

"Well, it's called friends with benefits Dove and while Shawn and I more than friends. Two consenting adults expressing emotions through the physical act of coitus, I won't deny some bias. He did choose me. It's been clearly expressed by him, but no one considers the fact that while not the most deserving to hold the second most prestigious title in the company....

Maybe he chose me because of the short list of people capable of defending it and keeping it's place of esteem in tact. That I'm simply better than half the roster on my bad days and still better than the two idiots we face Thursday on my worst of days.

Shawn is the XWF's Champion, I am it's face, and there's no way in hell Coffee and Cream are gonna ruin that face tomorrow or any day for that matter.

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