FROM THE VETERANS MEMORIAL ARENA IN SPOKANE, WASHINGTON!
Vincent Stone
- vs -
Boris
Jessalyn Hart
- vs -
Barney Green Tables Match!
Big D & "Notorious" Ned Kaye
- vs -
T.H.U.G.S.
(Tommy Wish & John Black)
Amjetkun Socio
- vs -
Vita Valenteen No Holds Barred!
Mad Rhymes
("Big Beautiful" Bobbi London & Maxine)
- vs -
The Golden Goddesses
(Atara Themis & Roxy Cotton) Internet Rules!
The Sick Cunts
(Fuzz & Noah Jackson)
- vs -
Raphael Blackwater & Zane Norrison
ANARCHY CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Ruby
- vs -
Mastermind
Pyro pops off and fireworks fly as the Anarchy broadcast screams its way onto the airwaves. A swerving, erratic camera view flies past various fans holding signs and merch representative of their favorites, some even wearing the awesome new addition to the XWF Merch Shop!
Vinnie Lane: “Ladies and gentlefolks, welcome to the December Anarchy! This will be the only episode to air this month as we take the holidays off, but we will be back after tonight on January sixteenth!”
One last firework pops, startling Vinnie.
Vinnie Lane: “WHOA! Anyway, we’re making the last show of 2019 a BIG one, as the Anarchy Champion Ruby will be taking on Mastermind in our main event! Also, we have got THREE different tag team matches as Mad Rhymes, The Golden Goddesses, Sick Fannies, THUGS, and Notorious D are all in action! BUT FIRST! Let’s get to the ring for an Anarchy debut!”
Vincent Stone
- vs -
Boris
Vinnie Lane: “Here’s a newcomer to Anarchy, a real weird dude with bad taste in music. Looks like he made his way to the ring, somehow!”
Vinnie Lane: “Now Boris, here’s a guy who gets it. Track suits. Gold chains. Adidas. The dude is a sartorial wizard!”
Boris gets to the ring and sets his ushanka on the corner post. The bell sounds and Boris is game! Boris rushes Stone with a flurry but gets shoved back by the pensive big man. Boris runs back in but gets caught in a GOOZLE! Boris is up and right back down with a big choke slam that makes Stone bounce in place, but Vincent Stone doesn’t go for the pin.
Vinnie Lane: “New guy should have taken advantage! That was a mistake. Boris has already recovered!”
Boris tries a new tactic, clutching at the leg of Stone. Vincent Stone stumbles backward into the corner, unable to keep his balance, and Boris climbs up the ropes and starts laying in some heavy mittened punches, counting along with the crowd!
Vinnie Lane: “Oh man! This sold out crowd LOVED that! But it barely fazed Stone, who just grabbed Boris in a double choke, holding him high over head!”
Stone walks forward holding Boris in both hands by the neck, then choke-bombs him in the middle of the ring with thunderous impact! Referee Chaz Bobo slides in for the count.
1!
2!!
Boris kicks out!
Boris manages to get to his feet quicker than the lumbering Vincent Stone, and he hits a diving shining wizard on Stone as he tries to get up. Boris looks gassed though, and both men stay down, sucking wind.
Vincent Stone catches Boris by an ankle and drags him toward him, then sinks in a choke and leans all his weight onto it. The ref is counting and gets almost all the way to five before Stone finally acquiesces and releases the choke. Boris hacks and coughs on the canvas as Stone takes a moment to try and intimidate the official, who ferciously points at the XWF patch on his chest...
And then Boris snatches him from behind in a roll-up!
1!
2!!
3!!!
Vinnie Lane: "What a sneaky move from the Vladivostok Vampire! I call him that because it's a city in Russia I've heard of and I really like alliteration!"
Winner - Boris
Jessalyn Hart
- vs -
Barney Green Tables Match!
Vinnie Lane: “Folks, I make no secret of the fact that I am unapologetic Barney Green mark. Sure, this time last year I would have had him dressed as Saint Nick and handing out cans of Skoal to the kids… but he’s a good guy! He’s got his hands full tonight though as Jessalyn Hart, a former Tag Team Champion, is trying to make a statement.”
"Like A Prayer" by Madonna starts to play through out the arena as fans start to cheer slightly. A black Jeep, driven by John Lauriniaits, appears at the top of the ramp slowly driving forward as we see Barney Green standing in the back waving the Irish Flag. The jeep stops and Green leaps out of it. He waves the flag one last time and places it back into the Jeep. He walks down the ramp and high fives a couple fans. He enters the ring and waits in the corner as the music fades.
The words NEVER...BE...SILENT!!! appear on the screen as the song starts. Lights go out Stobe lights at the top of the ramp illuminate the silhouette of Jessalyn. The lights come on to her facing the facing the ring. She runs down the ramp, slides into the ring. Climbs the turnbuckle with arms stretched out.
The bell rings and Barney takes off running!
Green smashes into Hart and drives her back into the turnbuckles, pummeling her with rights and lefts before taking a step back and driving some serious back elbows into Jessalyn’s face. Hart slumps to the mat and starts eating some wicked stomps from Barney. Green plants a foot on Hart’s neck and leans hard on it, breaking it up at referee John Bihl’s insistance.
Hart comes out of the corner looking pissed, and when Barney gets lazy with an attempt at a tie-up, she ducks under and slips a waitslock on, executes a perfect standing switch, and then pulls Green up and over with a German suplex. Not wasting any time, she immediately wraps herself around Green’s leg and applies a textbook Sambo leglock, which has Barney scrambling in pain.
Vinnie Lane: “I don’t know about the strategy here, dude, Barney can tap out all he wants but the match doesn’t end until someone goes through a table!”
Barney is helpless in the submission hold, but the referee just stands and watches. Hart eventually just releases the hold and rolls outside to grab a table from under the ring. She sets it up with plenty of time to work since Barney is still on the mat, grabbing at his ankle.
Green gets to his feet gingerly just as Jessalyn re-enters the ring. Hart charges him… BELLY TO BARNEY! Green gets all of that suplex but he gets confused and goes for a lateral press!
Vinnie Lane: “No Barney! It’s a tables match! Ah, that was your shot, my man!”
Barney limps up again and pulls Jessalyn up… and Hart sends a savate kick into that bum ankle of Barney Green. Barney crumples to the mat and Jessalyn hits the ropes, careening into Green with a low dropkick before heading out of the ring for a SECOND table.
This time Jessalyn sets the table up against the turnbuckles in the ring, then grabs Barney and attempts to whip him through it. Barney puts on the brakes! He reverses and now its Hart who gets whipped toward the table at high speed… but she runs up the surface of the table and backflips off!
Barney runs at Jessalyn like an injured wildebeest in the Serengeti, and she counters him with a crisp drop toe hold to his injured leg. Barney lands hard, with his face clipping the very bottom edge of that table, splitting him open.
Vinnie Lane: “Oh man, Barn is a SERIOUS bleeder, too! That man’s forehead is basically just rice paper at this stage of his career. And his blood pressure is ridiculous from all the tobacco. He’s got a gusher!”
Barney pulls himself up and leans against the ropes, right in front of the table outside the ring! Jessalyn sees it lined up perfectly and runs at Barney, but he dips a shoulder and lifts her high and over with a back drop… the table doesn’t break! Hart is bent awkwardly but the table stays in one piece, falling onto its side.
Vinnie Lane: “Guys, that hurts a LOT, let me tell you. Barney is looking like he’s in shock right now that that didn’t end the match, and I bet even Hart wishes it did!”
Barney rolls out of the ring and grabs the upturned table, lifting it on its end and slamming it down onto the back of Jessalyn Hart. He then grabs Hart and just gives her a vertical suplex backward into the ring ropes! She hits the ropes and falls head first onto the apron, and Barney feeds her a big elbow across her jaw for added insult.
Barney goes to the well once too many times though and when he attempts a leg drop of the apron there’s no one home. Both wrestlers roll into the ring in pain, Barney limps to his feet and also grabs at his tailbone. He may have fractured his coccyx!
He staggers in front of that leaning table in the corner, and Jessalyn takes off running with a spear… but Barney evades it! Jessalyn Hart is sent through the table with a little extra momentum from Green as he sidesteps and pushes her from behind!
Winner by Table Destruction - Barney Green
Vinnie Lane: "Barney did it! The Beantown B-Hole got it done in Spokane!"
RUBY
!RUBY!
!!RUBY!!
!!!RUBY!!!
If the heavy opening guitar riffs hadn’t given it away already, that sure did it! The overhead green and yellow spotlights light up the arena like a Bat Signal, but… without, er, bats. The banana-lime Super Dear’O bolts from the backstage area with the one true Anarchy Championship around her waist. She strides down the aisle, cartwheeling, flipping and flopping and high fiving all there is to high five.
Vinnie Lane: "Dude, check it out! It’s the Champ! I guess she’s here for that first official Champion Speech, you know? After beating Sarah at Lethal Lottery, she’s got a tighter grip than ever before on that title. Of course, Mastermind could spoil that real quick for her tonight."
Ruby slides into the ring at near breakneck speed, almost sliding back out at the other end. She rolls and kips up before taking the belt from her waist, hopping onto the nearest turnbuckle and raising it high into the air. The crowd reward her with quite the ovation.
Vinnie Lane: "They like her, dude! I’m still not very used to people actually CHEERING at an XWF show, unless they do it ironically."
Ruby gets back down and receives a mic from a ringside worker. She lets the applause die down, all the while smiling and winking and taking small bows in appreciation. Finally, she raises it to her mouth, when...
*record scratch*
The opening riff of "Hart Attack" blast over the PA as the crowd erupts into a chorus of boos!! :-(
Vinnie Lane: "It looks like the fake*COUGH-COUGH* ...Errrr, let’s just say “other” Anarchy Champion may have some words for Ruby about that belt!"
VIta makes her way down the ramp with the Anarchy Championship buckled around her waist. Vita and Ruby’s eyes are locked as Vita stalls on the apron. Ruby raises her guard, unsure of Vita's intentions. Vita steps through the ropes, never breaking eye contact with Ruby.
Vinnie Lane: "We may want to get security on standby, I don’t think our rings are equipped to handle superhero deathmatches!"
Vita takes a step forward causing Ruby to tense up. They stand there for a moment as they allow the moment wash over them. This, it seems, is the new big money match in the XWF, and the fans are begging for these two to come to blows!
Vinnie Lane: "B-Show my ass dude! When’s the last time Warfare or Savage had a crowd this electric!?"
The crowd’s on edge, Vita and Ruby are face to face, who’s going to make the first move?
Ruby?
Vita !?
Vita takes a step back before reaching back and unfastening her title belt. For the first time since hitting the ring, Vita breaks eye contact with Ruby and stares down into her reflections in the center plate. Vita looks back to Ruby, and whatever it is about that look, Ruby seems to loosen up a bit.
Suddenly!!
VITA HANDS THE BELT OVER TO RUBY!!?
Ruby isn’t sure if she can trust that this isn’t a trick, so she looks out to the crowd for support.
Vita pleads her case, this isn’t a double cross, PINKY SWEAR!!.
Ruby wants to believe her, but should she?
The crowds no help either. Half of them want a fight, the other half a Super team up!
Ultimately the decision is Ruby’s.
And of course being a little too trusting at times, Ruby accepts the belt.
With nothing more than a respectful nod, Vita exits the ring and quietly returns to the back.
Vinnie Lane: "After months of claiming that she was the Anarchy champion, Vita Valenteen just handed the belt over to Ruby! Is this some sort of trick, or is Vita Valenteen finally starting to grow up? Somebody find Sayor's and get him to do his damn job, I need answers dude!"
Big D & "Notorious" Ned Kaye
- vs -
T.H.U.G.S.
(Tommy Wish & John Black)
Vinnie Lane: “Big D and Ned Kaye had a GREAT match this past Savage and came pretty close to snagging the XWF Tag Team Championships away from Sarah Lacklan and Kenzi Grey. Let’s see how they do here tonight against THOSE DARN DIRTY ROTTEN THUGS!”
Tommy Wish and John Black come out from the back, Tommy jawing it up with fans as they walk to the ring while JB stays focused, staring straight ahead. They get into the squared circle and stand in their corner, deciding between them who goes first.
"Firepower" by Judas Priest hits over the PA as the lights go out. The fans look around, confused, as they aren't sure whose theme song this is. All of a sudden, a colorful strobe begins to fill the arena, hyping the crowd up. After a moment of waiting, Big D finally walks onto the ramp, holding his hands in the shape of an uppercase 'D', as the fans give a mixed reaction.
Big D takes a couple steps down the aisle, taking in the few cheers he's actually getting for once, before stopping and pointing towards the entryway. The curtain lifts open, a deep fog emitting and shrouding the figure walking out. Emerging from the smokey mist is an outstretched arm holding a 24/7 briefcase as familiar embers are seen spewn across the X-Tron. Walking slowly from the fog, stoic as ever, is "Notorious" Ned Kaye. Stepping to D's side he looks out to the audience, cheering loudly for him despite his clear uncertainty. Faced with the crowd's support, he can't help but smile humbly. He looks to his partner, giving him a quick nod before walking towards the ring.
As Tommy Wish climbs out to the apron, Ned motions to himself for Big D to let him start. D nods and pats his partner on the back, before climbing outside. The ref sees John Black and Ned Kaye, ready to go, and calls for the bell.
DING! DING! DING!
Kaye and Black lock-up center of the ring, but John quickly turns it into a Suplex. He holds his opponent in the air for a moment, but Ned fights back with a Knee to the head, that causes Black to drop Kaye forward. As he heads down, Ned wraps his arm around John's head, hitting a DDT. He rolls him over for a cover.
1!
KICKOUT!!!!!!
Vinnie Lane: "I think Ned was just keeping the veteran honest with that cover."
Ned brings Black to his feet and walks over to Big D, making the tag. D comes in and assists his partner in whipping John Black for the ropes. On the rebound, Notorious BIG attempts a Double Clothesline, but John manages to duck it and get behind his opponents. They turn around and get met with a Dropkick, each member getting hit with one leg. Big D & Ned fall to the mat, with Kaye rolling to the outside. John Black picks Big D up and walks him over to Tommy Wish, making a tag. Wish comes in and helps John fake an Irish Whip towards the opposite corner, instead throwing D, back first, into the turnbuckles of THEIR corner. He drops to his knees as Black climbs to the outside. Tommy hits an Enzuigiri to Big D, covering him immediately after.
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!!!!!!
Tommy brings Big D to his feet and heads back over to his corner, tagging John Black in. Wish sets up Big D in Powerbomb position, his partner waiting. As Tommy hoists D up, Ned Kaye runs in and Clotheslines John Black out of the ring, before turning and hitting a Dropkick to Wish. Ned's Dropkick allows Big D to fall backwards and hit a sloppy Hurricanrana on Tommy that sends the crowd into a frenzy.
Vinnie Lane: "That's gotta be Big D's first Hurricanrana in YEARS! We've certainly never seen him do one HERE! I'll give him a 6/10 for effort."
Ned rushes over to his corner and climbs to the apron, as Big D puts Tommy Wish into Scoop Slam position. D walks over to Kaye, who tags himself in, and Slams Wish to the mat. As Big D heads to the outside, Ned slingshots himself over the top rope, hitting a Leg Drop to his opponent. He then hooks the leg for a cover, but the ref won't count it. D yells at him, thinking he's being screwed over again.
Vinnie Lane: "They don't realize JOHN BLACK's the legal man!"
On the outside, John Black makes his way over and yanks Ned under the bottom rope. Kaye's met with a hard right to the face, that sends him stumbling backwards. To Black's surprise, Big D runs over, on the apron, and lands a Crossbody. D quickly gets up, showing off for the crowd, before getting Ned's attention. He motions for them to go for a Double Team move, but Tommy Wish nails a Baseball Slide that knocks both men to the floor. Tommy helps his partner up, then assists him in rolling Ned Kaye into the ring.
Vinnie Lane: "The ref is being awfully lenient here, just something else for Big D to bitch about!"
Tommy Wish goes back to his corner, as John Black follows Ned in. Black picks Ned up and hits him with the Suplex he attempted earlier. Rather than cover, John leans over Kaye and delivers some brutal rights to the skull, before heading over and tagging Wish. Tommy joins his partner in the ring, where they both Irish Whip Ned into their corner before proceeding to Double Mudhole Stomp him. Big D slides into the ring and pulls Tommy Wish away, delivering a punch before being attacked by John Black.
Vinnie Lane: "The T.H.U.G.S are just manhandling Notorious BIG right now!"
Black & Wish whip Big D to the ropes, but he catches himself on them, stopping dead in his tracks. The T.H.U.G.S take a step forward, but Big D stops them by pointing behind them. They turn around, only to see Ned Kaye slingshot himself onto the top rope and attempt a Crossbody to both opponents. Tommy & John catch him together before turning around towards Big D. Thinking quickly, D does his best attempt at a Dropkick to Ned, the momentum causing him to land on both T.H.U.G. members. The ref counts the cover on Tommy Wish.
1!
KICKOUT!!!!!!
Tommy Wish and John Black throw Ned Kaye off of them. Big D heads over to Black and kicks him out of the ring, before being threatened with a DQ by the ref if he doesn't go back to his corner. D obliges, as Ned gets back to his feet and brings Tommy with him. Ned walks Wish over to Big D and makes the tag. D climbs into the ring and hoists Tommy Wish into his shoulders, as Ned Kaye climbs to the top rope.
Vinnie Lane: "Could they be going for another Doomsday Device like they did on Savage?"
Ned Kaye jumps off the top rope, but instead of attempting a Clothesline, he does a Hurricanrana that sends Tommy flying off of D's shoulders and to the center of the ring. Big D goes for the cover as Ned runs over and Dropkicks John Black, attempting to get in the ring.
1!
2!!
3!!!
Winners by Pinfall - Big D & Ned Kaye
Vinnie Lane: "What a victory for the team of Notorious BIG! That move was wicked, I'd expect to see that a lot more in the future!"
Big D and Ned Kaye exit the ring, celebrating. They shake hands with fans as they make their way up the aisle, excited to get their first victory as a team.
Amjetkun Socio
- vs -
Vita Valenteen No Holds Barred!
MATCH NOT RECEIVED FROM WRITER
WILL ADD WHEN IT COMES IN
Backstage and we see Vita Valenteen walking towards catering because she's totally starving having only had 4 meals today!!
Suddenly a voice from off camera calls out.
Steve Sayors: "Vita! Vita! Can I have a moment!"
Vita turns to greet Sayors, and he waste little time jumping into it.
Steve Sayors: "Earlier tonight, you handed off your fake Anarchy championship. The question is, why? Why relinquish your belt after months of playing the victim?"
Vita Valenteen:"Playing the victim? Come on Steve-O, we both know your smarter than that! I was a victim and the only playing going on was Vinnie boy playing all of you. He convinced you that I lost to Sarah when that's totally not even possible because I had a frickin' helicopter!! Lane's a heck of a salesman, to get so many people to buy into the idea that Sarah Lacklan outswam a frickin chopper. HaHaha!"
"As far as why I handed the belt to Ruby? That's so simple that even a goob like you should be able to figure it out. I beef's with Sarah Lacklan for the crap that she pulled back at Relentless. In my pursuit of of, I've had to endure working for a manchild with a God complex, who uses his power to screw with the talent.... Namely ME and anyone associated with me. So tell me, now that Slacklan went on a losing streak from Hell, which by the way, only started AFTER I beat her at Relentless. Funny how even with her lies, she STILL hasn't recovered from that stunning, decisive, totally happened, loss! But yeah, Sarah has lost her appeal, and Lane's a dick, so let Ruby have Anarchy... I'm officially OFF this shit show!"
Steve Sayors: "So you're saying this is it, no more Vita Valenteen on Anarchy?"
Vita Valenteen:"Damn right, screw Anarchy!"
Vita laughs as she walks away.
Steve Sayors: "Well there you have it. Vita Valenteen handed over her title because "screw Anarchy" And just when it looked like Ruby might have gotten through to her!"
Vinnie Lane: "Um... I hope that she realizes that she has a contractual obligation to work Anarchy until 2079!!"[/dpink]
Mad Rhymes
("Big Beautiful" Bobbi London & Maxine)
- vs -
The Golden Goddesses
(Atara Themis & Roxy Cotton) Internet Rules!
Bobbi London and Maxine come out to their new team theme music as the crowd cheers them on. Bobbi stops and pulls out a microphone, to the delight of the fans who are about to be blessed by another original freestyle from the XWF Internet Champion.
“Spokane Washington, Mad Rhymes is in the building;
Ya’ll cheering so loud, bout to bring down the ceiling!
Mad Max and the L are more slicker than banana peeling;
Catching ‘oes slipping, while they wheelin’ and double dealin’!”
“Who the fuck is the Golden Goddesses, who gave them that name?;
Atara looks like Jiminy Cricket, before the Disney cartoon fame!
Oh, no I didn’t forget Roxy Cotton, she’s ten times more lame;
Dumber than the Tin Man, before ‘e even thought about a brain!”
“Golden Goddesses? You crazy, nothing divine about their power;
Two airheads who are more see through than the Eifel Tower!
News flash ya’ll, their time is up, this team won’t last an hour;
Sending them up the river like an R. Kelly golden shower!”
Bobbi hands the microphone to Maxine and she holds it out, then drops it, as the fans cheer and the titanic duo head toward the ring, readying to extract a bit of vengeance against the so-called Golden Goddesses... when all of a sudden, Roxy Cotton and Atara Themis rush out right behind them and each get behind Max. The two of them combined shove Maxine right off the side of the stage, and the big muscular woman crashes down into a staging area filled with electrical equipment and things of that nature. A sizzling spark pops up in the air right where Max went down, and Bobbi turns around to see the two Goddesses grinning in a sinister fashion.
Vinnie Lane: “MAXINE! Oh no, dude, she fell almost ten feet down into that production area, she’s got to be seriously hurt! And now Rox and Atara are doubling up on Bobbi!”
Bobbi jaws at the two gorgeous women, who stalk her like a pair of lionesses with a wounded hippo in their sights. Bobbi backs down the aisle with her fists raised, but when her two opponents suddenly pounce on her simultaneously she’s quickly overcome. They kick and punch at Bobbi, giving her no opportunity to do much more than double over and cover up as best she can.
Roxy and Atara grab Bobbi by the wrists and whip her into a guard rail running down the length of the entrance ramp. Roxy then plants a foot in Bobbi’s throat to hold her up against the railing while Themis leans over into the crowd and steals a steel chair right out from underneath a young fan. Atara raises the chair and swings it as hard as she can, hitting Bobbi across the face with it right as Roxy moves her leg out of the way. Bobbi slides down onto the ramp with stars in her eyes.
Vinnie Lane: “Come on now! This isn’t the way it’s supposed to go! Roxy! Roxy, come on dude!”
Vinnie then gets from his desk and hurries over to the commotion, pulling Roxy Cotton away from the fray by her wrist. The two jabber back and forth while Atara Themis stands over the fallen Bobbi London and mocks her to the capacity crowd, making “unconscious and drooling” faces to the audience.
As Vinnie and Roxy continue their lovers’ quarrel, Atara keeps making fun of Bobbi to a chorus of derisive boos from the fans. Unfortunately for her, she never sees Bobbi slowly regaining her wits and getting to her feet right behind her. The crowd surges with some cheers and Atara soaks them in, thinking they’re being appreciative of her… but when she turns around and sees the snarling face of the Down Under Diva, she begs off immediately. Bobbi doesn’t let her get more than a step before laying her out with a huge haymaker though, and soon enough she has Themis on the floor while London climbs onto her and pummels her with heavy lefts and rights. Bobbi grabs her by the hair and slams her skull into the concrete floor repeatedly before finally getting knocked to the side by Roxy, who’s now broken away from her spat with Vin.
Bobbi rises to her feet with furor, though, and immediately chucks Roxy over the guard rail with a big clothesline that sends the bombshell spilling into a front row spectator’s lap. He seems appreciative, and it didn’t even cost him 60 dollars!
Bobbi turns her attention back to Atara, grabbing her by the beltline and hauling her up onto her own shoulder with one arm. Bobbi then runs toward the ring at a fast clip (sorta) and sends Themis head first into the ring post, throwing her like a javelin. Themis crumples in a heap, but when Bobbi turns away she’s met with a steel chair that Roxy’s flung like a frisbee, splitting her bottom lip open and sending what looks like a tooth spiraling into the crowd.
Roxy races to Bobbi and sends her flying into the steps, She keeps laying in boots to the now-unconscious Internet Champion as the bell rings and rings - the match itself long being thrown out.
No Contest
Vinnie Lane finally corrals Roxy again, peeling her away from her assault on London just in time to see the towering form of Maxine, covered in cuts and soot from crashing through the electrical equipment near the stage. Max grabs Roxy in a choke, and Vinnie starts grabbing at her muscly arm, pleading with her to let Cotton go… and getting himself goozled as well!
Maxine lifts both Roxy and Vinnie in a double choke slam, sending both of them crashing into the concrete. Max then kneels at the body of her fallen friend, scooping Bobbi London up in her arms like a baby and then carrying her to the back like Kevin Costner did for Whitney Houston in the Bodyguard.
We probably need a commercial while Vinnie composes himself.
The Sick Cunts
(Fuzz & Noah Jackson)
- vs -
Raphael Blackwater & Zane Norrison
RAN OUT OF TIME BEFORE LEAVING FOR THE HOLIDAYS
Winners - The Sick Cunts
ANARCHY CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Ruby
- vs -
Mastermind
The lights drop down in Spokane because it is MAIN EVENT time!
The lights full go into darkness as the big screen flares to life and “Monster” plays across the speakers. Eventually, the lights flash back on suddenly, blinding the thousands of fans in attendance, and Mastermind stands on top of one of the corners. He looks over the crowd with a stoic face before slowly climbing down.
Guitars play across the P.A. as the lights go dark. The crowd comes to their feet as the tron again comes to life, this time with words on the screen for the crowd to sing along with. Green and yellow strobe lights fly around the arena as the crowd sings along with the Kaisers:
Crowd: DA-DAT DAHHHHH! DA-DAT DAHHHHHHH!
The lights continue to search for the Anarchy Champion as the song kicks into gear until the Kaisers get to the money shot:
“Ruby Ruby Ruby Ruby!!”
In an explosion of light, the Banana Lime girl BURSTS from the stage and high into the air before landing in a 3-point stance. She stands up, her arms at her waist to hold the Anarchy Heavyweight Championship, her chin above the horizon, as the fans throw yellow and green streamers at her in a cascade of color.
Vinnie Lane: Who’s that jumpin’ out the sky? RU-BE-WHY O’DEARE-IO!
Ruby spins in a circle, creating a tornado of streamers, until each and every one is held up by her whirlwind of motion. She then gently and politely hands all of the streamers to a stagehand before making her way down the aisle, taking the time to hand out hi-fives to children and dole out hugs to those wearing her mask. She then makes sure to shake the hands of every stagehand at ringside, including the referee and announcer after climbing into the ring.
Tig O'Bitties: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL...and is for the XWF Anarchy HEAVYWEIGHT Championshiiiiiiip!
Tig lowers the mic to allow the crowd to cheer before continuing.
Tig O’Bitties: To my right, standing at 6’5” and weighing in tonight at 200 pounds...from all the way in Wellington, New Zealand...he has an overall Anarchy record of 3 wins...and 4 losses...making his first challenge for the Anarchy Championship...he is...MAAAAAAASTERMIIIIIIIIIND!
The challenger slowly raises his arms in the air, never taking his gaze from the champion.
Tig O’Bitties: To my left, standing at 5’1” and weighing in tonight at 130 pounds...from Ottawa in the great province of Ontario in Canada...she has an overall Anarchy record of 10 wins...3 losses...and 1 draw...and making her second defense of the championship...she is the reigning...and defending...Anarchy Heavyweight Champion….RUUUUUUUBYYYYYYYYYYY
The Tiny Canadian casually back flips twice in quick succession, before somehow unstrapping her title belt and endind with it up in the air for all to see.
Tig O’Bitties: Your referee tonight is the unstoppable, unarguable, unmistakable Lawanda Sass, because Anarchy shouldn’t have to take ANY shit from ANYone!
The crowd cheers Lawanda as she brings in Mastermind and Ruby to the center of the ring for final rules. After a few moments of instructions, she moves them back to their corners and holds up the Championship for everyone to see.
DING! DING! DING!
Ruby immediately comes to the center of the ring and extends her hand for a handshake attempt! Mastermind stares at her, his face remaining passive and not giving any emotion. Ruby looks left and right at the crowd and extends the hand again, her belief in the spirit of sportsmanship bringing cheers from her fans.
Mastermind steps forward and kicks her in the head.
Ruby goes down to one knee, her hands covering up her head, and Mastermind rains down several clubbing forearms onto the champion’s back, eventually dropping her face-first to the mat. The crowd boos the attack as he picks the champion up by her hair, whips her into the ropes, and ends over as she comes flying back. Up and over she goes with a big back body drop, the impact causing her body to curl upward like an inverse cat stretch, and cry out in pain. Mastermind runs against the ropes himself and leaps into the air on the way back, dropping 200 pounds of leg down on the sternum of the champion. The veteran capitalizes and goes for a cover.
One!
Kickout!
The champion kicks her feet out quickly, pushing her shoulder up, Mastermind gets to one knee and takes Ruby’s head in his hands, then slams his head into her, the Crack! of skull-on-skull causing the audience to groan. Mastermind pulls the stunned Ruby up to her feet, takes her by the wrist, and brings her arm up and over with an arm wringer, before slamming it down as hard as he can to try to pull it from its socket. Ruby’s cries out as the pain drops her to one knee, then Mastermind sets his feet and picks her up by the arm, holding her up to his shoulder to leave her feet dangling off the ground, and then turns and throws her away from him with an armdrag that has her rolling across the ring and to the apron.
Mastermind slowly makes his way towards Ruby as she lays on the apron, arcing his path so as to come up on her side, and waits for her to make it to her feet. As Ruby does so, pulling herself up by the ropes while standing on the outside, Mastermind lunges forward and catches her in the side of the head with a clubbing fist that rocks her and nearly sends her off the apron. Mastermind then uses his height to his advantage and hooks her head for a vertical suplex, prepared to bring her crashing back into the ring. But the champion pushes off his shoulders at the apex of the suplex and flips behind him, landing on her feet! She leaps as he turns around to face her, and drives her feet into his chest with a dropkick! She flips again as she pushes off his chest, landing back on one knee, gets back to her feet, and leaps to again connect with one of her dropsaults, this time the blow knocking Mastermind backward and into the ropes, momentarily stunning him. Back to her feet, Ruby runs away from him, hitting the ropes and coming back with as much speed as possible, and is rocked by a sudden lunging shoulder block from Mastermind! Her back hits the mat hard after the impact, and she rolls to the side while Mastermind shakes his head in an attempt to clear the cobwebs.
Ruby holds her back as Mastermind goes after her. He raises his leg up and drives it down with a stomp, but Ruby rolls out of the way. Mastermind attempts another big stomp, and Ruby rolls the other way, again avoiding the ground attack. Mastermind tries to add more speed this time and runs at her, but Ruby changes defensive tactics and rolls backward over her shoulder and pushing herself up to her feet. Mastermind’s veteran instincts kick in and he switches directions, finding himself charging toward Ruby, but the champion grabs the nearby ropes and slips through the middle ropes and back onto the apron. She pulls herself up just as Mastemind comes in and catches him in the head with a kick to the head, staggering him and forcing him back several steps. Ruby holds onto the ropes, her feet dancing on the apron in anticipation, and springboards herself into the ring, throwing her arms out wide with a crossbody that takes Mastermind down! She stays on for the cover and Lawanda is there.
One!
Tw-Kickout!
Mastermind pushes Ruby off his chest and quickly gets to his hands and knees, the veteran aware of keeping his shoulders off the mat, and Ruby keeps the energy going by running towards the closest turnbuckle and running up it before leaping backward and coming down on top of Mastermind’s back with a moonsault. The champion grabs the challenger by the shoulders and heaves him onto his back and makes another cover.
One!
Two!
Kickout!
Mastermind kicks out again, his long legs helping to push the much smaller Ruby off him and get his shoulders off the mat, but the champion is again already on the move. Trying to keep the momentum going and keep up the pace, Ruby jumps and lands on the second rope, then pushes off, looking forward a springboard senton, but she is caught! Mastermind found his feet faster this time and caught the much smaller champion as she flew back, and now holds her in the air with a rear waist lock! Ruby scrambles by trying to throw elbows back at Mastermind’s head, but the challenger eats the blows without flinching, sets his feet, and flings Ruby back over his head with a vicious German suplex! Ruby’s body bends backwards so hard that her toes and shoulders touch the mat at the same time, and the audience groans in unison at the powerful suplex. Mastermind scrambles over and puts his body down on her legs, pinning her with all 200 pounds!
One!
Two!
Thr-KICKOUT!
Ruby is able to angle her shoulders just enough to push her legs out and escape the pinfall! The crowd stomps their feet, trying to get Ruby back into the match after such a switch in momentum, but the champion seems dazed and unaware of where she is as she gets to her knees. Mastermind, his face still telling of no emotion from another failed pin, circle around behind Ruby and throws his arms out, measuring her. The challenger closes in on the champion, his arms going wider still, and then brings them forward with a great rush and catches the champion in the Mind Sleeper! Ruby struggles, kicking her feet wildly while desperately trying to keep her hands locked onto Mastermind’s arm, trying to prevent him from sinking in the hold with his elbow below her chin. But Mastermind’s size advantage is too much, and his left hand pushes her head to the side to allow his right arm to curve down and then up to her shoulder. Immediately, Ruby’s face begins to turn red from the pressure and Lawanda is there to first ask Ruby if she wants to tap out, or to make sure that the match is over in case she passes out. But still, Ruby struggles, kicking her legs wildly, and creates just enough space to breath. Mastermind suddenly releases the hold but then tightens his arms again, looking to secure the sleeper hold, and Ruby ceases her opportunity! She pushes up and jumps, flipping backward while Mastermind holds onto her head, and winds up behind Mastermind. The challenger turns, his hands still trying to hold onto Ruby
AND IS TAKEN DOWN WITH A RUBY CUTTER
The crowd bursts into cheers as Ruby uses her sudden escape to turn it into her cutter. She immediately bounds to her feet a stunned Mastermind, his eyes glazed over, rolls onto his back after his face impacted the mat. Ruby leaps to the nearby top rope in one shot and settles her feet. She slowly raises herself up to a standing position, and the crowd begins to cheer:
Crowd: ruuuuuuuu-
Ruby bends her knees and then leaps off the turnbuckle as high as she can, then jackknifes her knees before slamming her feet down into Mastermind’s stomach with the Ruby in the Rough!
Crowd: -BY!!!!!
Ruby crawls back up to her knees, scrambles over to Mastermind, and makes a cover with a hooked leg! Lawanda is there!
1!
2!!
3!!!
Winner by Pinfall - Ruby
Vinnie Lane: “Big win for the self-proclaimed Super Dear-O here tonight! Mastermind is a wily veteran who can catch you off guard with a moment’s notice, but Ruby held him off and walks out of Anarchy the same way she walked in - with gold around her waist!”
The cameras show another shot of Ruby celebrating her win, holding her belt high. Mastermind for his part gives her respect and shakes her hand before leaving the ring so she can continue celebrating alone.
Vinnie Lane: “Folks that’s all we’ve got time for here tonight! Thank you for joining us on Anarchy in 2019… we’ll see you next year!”
The following 4 users Like "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane's post:4 users Like "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane's post Noah Jackson (12-21-2019), Peter Fn Gilmour (12-21-2019), Shawn Warstein (12-21-2019), Theo Pryce (12-21-2019)
"Shame our match was too sick to air. Still can't get the visual of dad punching a hole in Zanes chest and using the cunt like a knock off Muppet, out of my head."
FORMER:
W | L | D
226 | 11 | 81
Star of the Month (August 2019)
1/3 Star of the Month (January 2020) with Fuzz and our Subaru
RP of the Month (November 2019) with Big Disappointment
Holder of the most wins in the XWF (Mostly house shows)
Holder of the most draws in XWF (All on Anarchy)
Winner of Sickest Cunt of the Year 2020
Winner of Greatest Wrestler who ever lived 2022
Holder of the world's rarest pog collection (Valued at $200)
Owner of Ned Kaye's cat that Ned named Deepthroat for some weird reason
Voted most feared man by Centurion (Twice!)
The following 2 users Like Noah Jackson's post:2 users Like Noah Jackson's post Shawn Warstein (12-21-2019), Theo Pryce (12-21-2019)
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The following 4 users Like "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane's post:
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