LETHAL LOTTERY takes the air as we immediately open backstage near the loading dock as CHRIS PAGE and SHANE are exchanging right hands to a HUGE ovation from the crowd as PAGE drives a knee into the midsection of before yanking him towards the Gorilla position where various XWF Producers scurry out of site as PAGE drives head first into a table in the Gorilla position sending monitors sailing and busting on the floor.
HHL: Ladies and Gentleman we are LIVE from Johannesburg, South Africa with the LETHAL LOTTERY and it looks like CHRIS PAGE and SHANE couldn’t wait!
PAGE hammers with a right hand rocking SHANE back towards a black curtain. CHRIS comes forward where kicks PAGE in the gut before driving a knee lift into the face of PAGE. yanks PAGE through the black curtain followed by cameras as takes PAGE up a small set of stairs which leads to the staging. swings and PAGE blocks before countering with a right hand before hurling through another curtain which sends him out in front of the audience drawing boos from the sold out Stadium!!
PC: This was originally scheduled for later on this evening!
The crowd roars as CHRIS PAGE walks out to the top of the ramp with a roll of white athletic tape where he starts wrapping both of his fists heavily before discarding the tape. The live crowd is on fire as PAGE walks towards a downed who is getting to his feet swinging at PAGE, PAGE ducks and drills in the ribs with a taped right fist followed by a headbutt to the nose! PAGE snatches by a handful of hair and starts to head towards the ring.
HHL: This war has been brewing between these two since Relentless and now tonight it’s going to explode in front of our very eyes.
The fans along the ramp way are amped as PAGE sizes up for a right hand only to be gouged in the eyes drawing loud boos from the crowd! SHANE snatches PAGE by the right hand where he snaps his index finger in an attempt to break it!
PC: This isn’t going to be for the weakened heart! This is NON SANCTIONED, the XWF is not being held accountable for what these two men are going to do to each other.
SHANE decks PAGE in the face before snatching him by the hair bringing him the rest of the way to ringside where he hurls him into the security barrier just before they reach ringside. SHANE comes over biting CHRIS in the forehead to louder boos from the crowd!
HHL: This has been brewing and brewing for nearly eight long years… it exceeds the present, the past is rich with hate and distain!
SHANE brings CHRIS off the guard rail where he brings him to the front of the ring before taking him and hurling him into the steel ring steps right shoulder first. taunts PAGE to a massive amount of heat from the crowd bring a smirk to ’s face.
PC: SHANE soaking in the disdain from this sold out crowd.
walks over stomping down at the sternum of PAGE before he reaches down picking CHRIS up off the floor. SHANE takes PAGE and hurls him into the ring under the bottom rope where he slides into the ring after him.
DING…. DING…. DING….
HHL: I guess this Non Sanctioned Match is underway.
SHANE reaches his feet where he kicks PAGE in the head as he starts to try to get to his feet knocking PAGE back down to the mat. SHANE lays PAGE’s right hand, palm up on the mat before stomping down on his fingers!
PC: is going to break every bone in CCP’s body.
SHANE reaches down picking PAGE up off the mat where he kicks him in the nuts! Suddenly SHANE finds himself on the mat clutching at his right ankle as CHRIS is shown shaking his head before reaching in the front of his pants and pulling out a METAL cup!
: "Bah! Dammit! Worthless cheating asshole!"
The crowd pops huge as PAGE places it back down in the front of his pants and back in place protecting his junk from further assault.
: "Cut! Time out! Pause! This is bullshit! You're taking away 80% of my arsenal with that thing!!!!"
HHL: isn't pleased with this recent development one bit, but there's no stopping the match now!
CHRIS moves his fingers around on his right hand getting the feeling back before coming forward snatching up off the mat where he drives him back into a corner where he laces him across the chest with a knife edge chop drawing a “WOOOOOOOO” from the crowd! PAGE laces across the chest a second time to a louder ovation from the crowd as the smack echoes throughout the Stadium before following up with a snug European Uppercut before taking a front waist lock as he takes several steps backwards towards the center of the ring bringing out with him where he delivers an overhead belly to belly suplex to a huge pop from the crowd as rolls out to the floor under the bottom rope.
PC: This fight can literally go anywhere!
PAGE drops down to the mat rolling out to the floor where he comes up behind where he locks a back waist lock before peeling off a Release Belly to Back Suplex on the floor to sending his body smacking against the protective mat with a thud.
HHL: CHRIS PAGE has been waiting for this moment for so long. I spoke to him earlier today and he told me that he’s not going to stop until SHANE is taken out of here on a stretcher.
CHRIS gets back to a vertical base where he makes his way over to snatching him by both legs where he opens his legs up. CHRIS looks down at as the crowd roars louder and louder only to explode as CHRIS drives the sole of his right boot down into the junk of ...
: "AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! BASTARD!!!!! "
...causing SHANE to scream out in pain while clutching at his junk.
PC: Talk about a LOW blow! Looks like is the one on the receiving end for once, and this crowd is loving it!
rolls over and tries to crawl away from PAGE to create some distance but PAGE walks over picking SHANE up off the floor where he runs him towards the ring post looking to introduce SHANE’s face into the ring post but it’s who reverses at the last possible second and he sends PAGE smacking violently off the ring post and crumbling down to the floor.
HHL: PAGE’s face bounced off the ring post!
PC: With the recent trauma to the head by the hands of SHANE you can only wonder how many shots to the head he can truly take!
The crowd boos SHANE intently as he staggers forward kicking PAGE square in the head again knocking him back down to the floor. SHANE looks around and seems almost as if he doesn't know what he wants to do next. He sees PAGE starting to stir and just watches him with a look of frustration and annoyance on his face.
HHL: What's SHANE doing? Is he already spent? Did he think the match would be over by now?
PC: No it's not that. There's got to be something brewing inside that head of his.
Just then, SHANE shouts at the top of his lungs...
"I'M GOING TO USE A LIFELINE!"
LIFELINE!!?!
LIFELINE?!!!
LIFELINE!!!?
An unseen voice that sounds surprisingly like Michael Buffer in his prime booms over the speakers: "LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLADIES AND GENTLEMEN.....
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET RRRRREADY
FOR SHANE TO USE A LIFE LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNE........."
HHL: What's this about a lifeline? This isn't a game show.
PC: When SHANE 's around it's either game show or circus act, take your pick.
SHANE walks over and grabs a microphone so everyone can hear him loud and clear.
: We're about to see me make history yet again as only I can. I've decided to spice this match up and make sure I show my opponent CCP all the respect he deserves which means I've got to pull out all the stops! I've decided that I'm going to be allowed to use "LIFELINES" which is a term I just came up with all by myself because I'm so damn clever! Plus, I mean, who's going to stop me? Exactly.
So anyway... Those Lifelines sure aren't going to be phone a friend or ask the audience, oh no... they'll be more like THIS!
Shane points to the man running up at full speed...
It's none other than...
SCULLY!
Just as PAGE was starting to rise, SCULLY nailed him with a running dropkick! SHANE and SCULLY both put the boots to PAGE as the crowd isn't even sure how to react.
PC: So wait. SHANE is all of a sudden a "genius" because of these Lifelines that really just mean he paid off random people to run in for him?
HHL: I think I'm more taken aback at the moment by the notion of SCULLY being someone's first thought when they come up with their so-called Lifelines.
SHANE and SCULLY continue to deliver a very lackluster, slow-paced beat down using basic stomps and kicks. SCULLY eventually heads to the back and leaves to deal with PAGE.
PC: Oh, Scully's leaving? I guess he fulfilled his Lifeline obligations then?
reaches under the ring where he pulls out a Syringe with god knows what inside of it as he holds it up in the air for all to see before turning towards PAGE who has now rolled over to his back.
"I have it on good authority CCP here hasn't had his flu shot yet! He also hasn't had his anti-shithead shots! Well don't worry, I'll help with all that!"
comes forward mounting PAGE where he raises the syringe up in the air and drives it down towards PAGE’s heart which see PAGE block as he catches SHANES arm with both hands inches away from the needle piercing into his chest. SHANE uses his free hand to try and throat punch PAGE! CHRIS bats the throat punch away before managing to rake SHANE’s eyes causing the syringe to drop to the floor. CHRIS shove SHANE off his upper chest and back to the floor.
HHL: SHANE is one sick man! Who knows what’s in the syringe.
PC: Apparently a home brew "flu shot" that also includes a dose of the elusive "anti-shithead" vaccine?
HHL: Ugh... don't encourage the man.
CHRIS works his way to his feet where he reaches down picking up the syringe and pushes the plunger down causing whatever liquid is in it shot out before throwing the syringe to the floor. CHRIS shifts his attention towards the ring steps where he walks over separating the top portion of the stairs where he lifts that section up and turns towards who is working his way to his feet. CHRIS charges forward smashing the Steel Steps off the skull of dropping him where he stands.
PC: CHRIS PAGE just used a weapon for the first time in a very long time as he tried to scramble the brain of SHANE with those steel steps!!
HHL: That's like trying to use an anvil to scramble a plate of eggs!
CHRIS drops the stairs to the floor where he turns his attention to the downed SHANE . CHRIS points down at SHANE drawing a pop from the crowd. CHRIS walks over picking SHANE up off the floor where he takes him across the front of the ring towards the security barrier where CHRIS takes SHANE and hurls him over the barrier and into the front row of fans!
HHL: This Stadium isn’t going to contain these two!
CHRIS walks over to the security railing where he steps over and into the crowd. PAGE snatches a beer from a fan where he takes a swallow and hands it back to the fan and as SHANE stands up CHRIS spits the beer in his eyes to a huge pop! PAGE comes forward hammering SHANE with a right hand before snatching him by the hair and taking him towards an floor entrance to the stadium!! PAGE drives a knee into the midsection as he yanks and they start making their way up stairs headed towards the concourse level of the stadium!
PC: There’s no telling where this is going to end up!
SHANE yanks away from PAGE as they are making their way up the stairs and he’s able to throat punch PAGE to boos from the crowd before he yanks a beer from a fan and clocks CHRIS in the face with it sending beer flying everywhere!
"Let's wash out that cotton mouth of yours, pot boy! Let's make sure you don't dehydrate!!"
SHANE GETS A FEW OF THE NEARBY FANS TO ALL THROW THEIR BEERS ALL OVER CCP!
Wait! PAGE has been ignited and he is infuriated! He's fighting off all the drunks and beer's going everywhere!
"LIFELINE! LIFELINE! LIFELINE!!!!"
PC: Oh for F's sake...
HHL: Is he serious?
SHANE is screaming for another of his Lifelines and the fans start looking around wondering who it could be! PAGE is still dealing with drunken idiot fans and all hell is breaking loose!
LIFELINE!!?!
LIFELINE?!!!
LIFELINE!!!?
THEO PRYCE!
THEO PRYCE was already in position behind those fans who were pouring beer all over CHRIS PAGE. PRYCE has a beer in each of his hands and joins in the fun of soaking CHRIS PAGE with cheap ass beer, launching the contents of both of his cups straight into PAGE's eyes! SHANE kicks PAGE's legs out from under him and the beer begins to flow again all over PAGE, with THEO having a seemingly endless supply of beers he keeps dumping on him.
"Yeah! Wet that bitch for me! Get her nice and juicy for Big Poppa Potato!"
THEO tosses his latest beers down on PAGE and gives him a quick kick in the ribs for good measure before looking at SHANE and holding up a finger. SHANE looks SUPER interested.
"What's up THEO? You have a royal surprise for us?!?!?"
THEO motions for someone to come out from behind the nearby crowd of drunks and it's...
JOHN MADISON!!!
SHANE jumps up and down for joy and hugs THEO.
"Yes! I knew you'd get him!"
JOHN MADISON is wearing a portable beer tap on his back that's larger than any ever seen before. He doesn't even bother squirting PAGE with beer but instead just takes the pack off his back and slams the whole thing down on top of him. Beer explodes everywhere!
THEO and JOHN disappear through the crowd of drunks as SHANE is still jumping for joy. SHANE laughs his ass off as he takes PAGE up the stairs the rest of the way and through a black curtain as the scene cuts back to the ringside announce table.
PC: Eek. Well I guess SHANE's "Lifelines" are sure paying off.
HHL: CHRIS PAGE and SHANE have taken this fight to the concourse here in Australia, following that epic moment with SHANE making sure CHRIS wasn't getting cottonmouth! What else do these two have in store for us and each other tonight?
PC: We’re going to get a camera dispatched and when we catch up with them we will bring you the action!
Lethal Lottery returns from commercial as cameras cut over to some random area of the crowd because a commotion is going on.............
It's the man your woman thinks about while she's screwing you...........
It's Amjetkun Socio! He's in the crowd throwing steroid needles like darts at fans' heads!
Socio: "Bullseye! Fuck yeah bro! Ha ha, sorry!"
An airborne syringe just planted itself into a young boy's tongue!
Socio has a bag full of needles and he's carefully aiming and throwing each one at a different fan. The vast majority of the fans seem to be into it and are trying to get closer to get a picture and/or puncture with The All Day All Nighter!
Splat! "Sorry old lady!"
Blam! "Oops little girl!"
Sploof! "Hot MILF takes one in the eye!"
Kaplow! "Millennial down!"
Kerplunk! "Oh shit my bad camera guy!"
BOOM! "Oh fuck sorry small baby whose parents shouldn't have brought you to an XWF show!"
Nobody was safe from the Lethal Anabolics pre-match warm-up of "Au Naturel" Amjetkun "The Great Oath Hammer" Socio "Path Maker of Positive Testing" tonight!
Amjetkun Socio comes out clapping and smiling, then doing the entrance music video routine just killin' it like a pimp on the dance floor. He finishes that bit and goes back to pumping his fists and nuts like a champ until he slips on some grease and has a full blown roid rage fit, spinning clotheslines and uppercuts to dicks, so many fans and ring crew people get hurt.
The lights go out, and when they come back on, Mastermind is seen on top of the top right hand corner of the ring, and acknowledges the crowd before climbing back down.
Ruby zig zags down the ramp with her arms outstretched like she's flying. But here's a secret, she's actually NOT flying!
The opening riff of "Hart Attack" blast over the PA as the crowd breaks out into a mixed reaction that's more negative than not. VV walks out onto the stage and and postures for the crowd, soaking up their jeers as if it's the ultimate sign of support. She makes her way down the ramp, ignoring the outreached hands of any fans she still has along the way. VV the heads up the steps and walks along the outside apron. She grabs the top rope with both hands and springboards into the ring where she tucks and rolls before settling on a couched, almost ninja like pose. VV flexes her biceps as the crowd continues to boo. She stands up, laughing off the crowd as she prepares for the match to start.
Fuzz walks slowly down the ramp, his head down and the Xtreme title held high.
The Big Show's theme plays but every time it says 'Show' it's poorly dubbed over with the word 'Shank'. The Big Shank comes down the ramp looking a little confused but enjoying himself nonetheless.
Vita, Shank and Mastermind start for their respective teams.
HHL: "Here we go! Six enter, two leave. I'm am excited for this."
PC: "I wish this was in a Thunderdome, that'd be sweeeeet."
DING! DING! DING!
The three competitors share a look with one another as the bell sounds off, the crowd begin to rhythmically clap and stomp their feet as they inch closer together, Shank turns his attention quickly to Mastermind on his flank and opens up with a big right hook. MM stumbles back but returns with a huge strike of his own, the two big men exchanging hits as Vita stays low and away looking for an opening. Mastermind whips Shank into an empty corner and sprints forth looking for a splash which is barely dodged by The Big Shank, MM lies winded against the turnbuckles and Shank goes to pull him away before being interrupted by Vita! Valenteen wraps an arm around Shank's neck before planting her feet into Mastermind's spine and running up his back, planting Shank down with a beautiful corner bulldog!
Shank's head rattles against the canvas as Vita kips up with applause from the crowd, she turns around to see Mastermind on the second turnbuckle, it's too late to react as the Kiwi takes flight and bowls the Canadian over with a flying clothesline! MM rolls up to his feet and places a hand around Shank's collar to pick him up, pushing him against the ropes and sending him sprinting to the opposite ropes. Mastermind runs to the center to meet Shank on the rebound but his attempt at a clothesline in ducked under, VV almost gets bowled over but quickly drops to her front and Shank hops over her, Vita goes to stand again but Shank on his way back causes her to keep down and Shank knocks Mastermind to the mat with a high knee!
Mastermind drops and rolls into his corner as Vita jumps on Shank's back to choke out the veteran. Socio reaches in and makes a tag to some hype from the crowd. Amjetkun's massive frame squeezes in between the ropes and he jogs over to Vita straddling Shank, wrapping his monstrous arms around the two before throwing them back in a German Suplex!
PC: "Holy shit!"
HHL: "What strength from Socio!"
Vita and Shank explode away from each other as Socio flips over and begins doing push-ups. Vita slowly gets to her feet first, using the ropes for aid as Shank follows suit. Socio hops back to his feet with a clap and roars, lunging forward and attempting a double clothesline to knock the two out but both duck simultaneously, Vita using the ropes to lift herself up and throw a kick into the back of Socio's head as Shank takes advantage of a dazed Amjetkun and drops the Pathmaker down with a huge body slam! Vita turns to Shank and offers up a high five, Shank hesitates which becomes his undoing as VV quickly jabs Shank in the eyes! The blinded Shank stumbles back and Vita bowls him over with a running dropkick! TBS falls back into his corner and Fuzz leans over the ropes, slapping Shank's shoulder and entering the ring. Socio slowly raises to his feet with a wobble and the three inside the ring face off.
HHL: "Oh man, Socio has tagged with both of these two. Fuzz and Vita have a friendship, at least proxy Noah. This could be interesting."
The three inside the ring meet in the middle, all sharing glances. Fuzz's eyes fall on Vita's and the two give a nod, Fuzz's elbow strikes Socio's nose and Vita follows up with a swift kick to the abdomen. Amjetkun manages to stand his ground and gives a huff like a crazed gorilla, grabbing the back of Fuzz's and Vita's heads and smashing them into one another! VV splats to the mat as Fuzz stumbles back; Amjetkun knocks Fuzz down with a shoulder check and continues sprinting to go into the ropes, he rebounds off and knocks down a raising Fuzz once more, continuing his sprint only get faster and faster with each pass!
PC: "Fuck! Socio's gonna break the time-space continuum!"
CLAP!
But Socio's immense speed meets an unstoppable force as Ruby flies through the air and lands a crossbody across Socio's lats! Ruby goes for a quick cover!
1
...
2
...
BROKEN UP BY FUZZ!
Amjetkun is gassed after his 5k run. Fuzz tosses up Ruby's chin and nails her with an uppercut! Fuzz lunges up in chase and lifts Ruby high into the air for a brainbuster but Ruby manages to loosen the hold and falls safely behind the Xtreme Champ; Ruby goes to grab him but Fuzz with quick reflexes throws an elbow back and retreats to the outside.
PC: "Smart move from Fuzz, if he gets pinned he doesn't just lose the match, he loses his title."
Fuzz composes himself on the outside as Ruby hits the ropes and as Fuzz turns the two collide with a perfect spear through the ropes! The two crash down hard onto the ground but Ruby is the first to her feet but not for long as Shank runs down the apron and topple the Anarchy champion with a huge boot to the face! The ref admonishes Shank who just shrugs it off with a smile. Socio slowly gets to his feet, looking a little dizzy. Fuzz gets back to his feet as Ruby holds her nose in pain; Fuzz grabs Ruby by the collar and belt and tosses her into the ring. Fuzz then hesitates before entering as an angry Socio looms over towards Ruby. With pure strength, Socio lifts Ruby up over his head before slamming her back down to the mat, all the while Fuzz lays low keeping a close eye on proceedings. Socio grabs Ruby's heel and just ragdolls the shit out of, throwing her like she was nothing as veins burst from all over Socio's body.
Ruby lays crumpled and winded on the mat; Amjetkun kicks her to her back and places a heavy boot down on her chest with a pose. As soon as the ref begins the count Fuzz slides into the ring.
1
...
2
STOPPED BY FUZZ! Stabbing a needle into Socio's neck!
HHL: "What the hell was that!?"
Socio falls back a little as his eyelids go heavy, his motions slow as he tries to turn and strike Fuzz who simply walks away from the strikes.
PC: "That's a downer, Heather."
Fuzz goes to take schoolboy Socio but it's interrupted as Vita, from the top turnbuckle, leaps forth and sends Socio flying over Fuzz with a huge dropkick! Amjetkun falls just out of reach of Mastermind as Fuzz stares daggers at VV for ruining his pinning opportunity. Fuzz jaw jacks with Vita for a few seconds before Vita slaps Fuzz to a pop from the crowd! Fuzz's head is sent back and he returns with a right hook but it's stopped before collision by Ruby! Who pulls Fuzz in close and...
HHL: "RUBY CUTTER!!!"
VV stands close by as Ruby hits the Cutter and goes for the pin!
1
...
SHANK RUSHES THE RING!
2
VITA GOES TO STOP THE BIG SHANK BUT SHANK THROWS HIS ENTIRE WEIGHT INTO HER AND SENDS HER PACKING OVER THE ROPES!
SHANK BREAKS THE PIN!
Just before the 3 count!
Shank rips Ruby away from Fuzz and gives a stiff headbutt before sending her sailing outside too! Shank checks on his partner, slapping Fuzz's cheek to rouse him.
CLAP!!!
And Mastermind returns! Knocking Shank down with a huge forearm and kicking him out of the ring!
Fuzz, crouched raises with a strike but Mastermind quickly dodges and moves to Fuzz's side, locking in THE MIND SLEEPER!!!
HHL: "Fuzz is in trouble! He just got hit by a Ruby Cutter and now Mastermind's patented sleeper hold!"
PC: "New Champ, Heather, calling it here!"
Fuzz struggles in the hold as Mastermind whips the Xtreme Champ back and forth, quickly trying to strangle the life from Fuzz.
Fuzz's eyes bulge from his skull as he tries to force his body to face the ropes.
But every time, Mastermind forces him away!
Fuzz's face turns a deep red but he refuses to quit!
He throws an elbow into Mastermind's ribs!
And the his gut!
Again!
AND AGAIN!
Until the hold is loose!
And Fuzz breaks it by smashing his head backwards against Mastermind!
Fuzz spins around and clotheslines Mastermind out of the ring to a roar from the crowd. He rests against the ropes for a moment seeing the pile of bodies slowly stir. Fuzz looks to the corner and climbs the turnbuckles!
He lines himself up as his tag partner and all his opponents minus Socio begin to stand and with a bit of courage, Fuzz flies from the top rope and crashes down onto the mass of bodies with a huge elbow!
The crowd go apeshit!
YOU SICK CUNT! YOU SICK CUNT! YOU SICK CUNT!
HHL: "Fuzz may have done more harm than damage there!"
PC: "Yeah! Pretty sure Shank caught a knee with his jaw."
After what feels like an eternity, Ruby is the first to climb from the wreckage of bodies and makes her way to the ring, looking over at Socio who is laid on the apron staring at his hands in wonder. Fuzz follows Ruby with Mastermind in tow. Fuzz gets in the ring as Ruby sees, him coming charging into a sprint and bowling Fuzz over with a dropsault! Fuzz falls but Mastermind is their to ease the fall with a roll-up!
1
But Ruby quickly puts a stop to that! Sliding in with a kick and breaking the pin!
Fuzz freaks out, using a burst of energy to tag Shank back in as he retreats to his corner. Shank charges and knocks ruby over with a swift knee to the gut; Mastermind clubs Shank in the back and tries for a big back body drop but Shank rolls over and lands on his feet, countering Mastermind with a brutal spine buster! Shank raises up and see a yellow-lime leg aim for his head, but Shank drops down to avoid the attack. Ruby has her back to Shank and TBS goes to take advantage but is caught off guard by a Pele Kick! Shank is down! A trickle of blood comes from a small gash at his hairline! Ruby sees both men on the mat and rushes to the corner!
HHL: "Our Hero's looking for Ruby in the Rough!"
At the top, Ruby sets her sights on Shank and leaps!
BUT IS CAUGHT BY MASTERMIND!
Mastermind, quickly stands to his feet, grabbing the back of Ruby's legs and shoving her to her back immediately transitioning into!
PC: "MIND CONTROLLER!!!!"
Mastermind locks in the Boston Crab and Ruby has nowhere to go as she screams in agony.
Mastermind puts all his strength behind the maneuver but it abruptly stopped before Ruby taps!
Vita on the apron stretching her hand over the rope unleashes a Pink Mist of pepper spray into Mastermind's eyes!
Mastermind blinded breaks the hold and stumbles away, throwing his hands in front of his face. Vita beams with a smile but is taken off the apron by the drugged rhino that is Socio! A spear sending them to the outside!
The Big Shank lies in wait as Mastermind stumbles back into him.
And...
DEATH
VALLEY
DRIVER
And Shank transitions into a pin!
1
Ruby stirs.
2
She gets to her feet!
BUT IS STOPPED BY FUZZ WHO CRASHES HIS XTREME TITLE INTO HER TEMPLE!
3!!!!
Winners and Moving on to the Lethal Lottery Finals: Fuzz and The Big Shank
HHL: "FUZZ AND SHANK DID IT!!! AND THEY'LL MEET IN THE FINALS! Who sold these old-timers didn't have what it takes?"
PC: "They prefer the term 'Veterans'."
Shank smiles as he looks to Fuzz and the two share a somewhat bittersweet handshake, happy but knowing what comes tonight.
But the celebration is cut short as an animalistic growl is heard.
Cameras focus in on Amjetkun Socio who just got done smacking himself in the head to clear his vision and realize what's happening. His eyes are insane right now. He doesn't look right.
"Bro what the fuck just happened? Are you fuckin' kidding me right now?"
He seems to be shaking and it's like he's in some kind of trance until....
HE FINALLY RAGES THE FUCK OUT!!!
"AAAAAAHHH!!! This is fuckin' bullshit bro! FUCK THIIIIIISSSS-AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!"
Socio goes under the ring and grabs a THICK steel pipe that has a rubber grip for a handle.
Pip - "What's this ignoramus up to now? What's he doing with that big ass pipe?"
He walks over to Mastermind and CRACK!!! He just busted him wide open! The blood is flying everywhere!
Heather - "Oh come on! The match is over! There's no need for this."
Pip - "I guess this is the last we're seeing of The Muscle-Mind Connection!"
Socio turns his attention and runs toward Vita and SPLAT!!! that running major league swing almost sent her head flying off into the crowd!
Pip - "What the!? Now Vita on the receiving end?"
Heather - "It's happening! We all knew it was inevitable! He's having a roid rage! This is what happens when too many steroids and synthol go to your brain."
He kicks the referee in the balls before making his way toward the back to a massive round of boos and several beverages and other random items launched at him. The fans erupt when an uber giant mega sized soft drink explodes on impact right in the middle of his face!
Pip - "Bullseye!"
Cameras follow Socio through the back as he rants and raves like a complete nut case with soda trickling down his face and dripping from his giant muscles. He's screaming at the top of his lungs and spit's flying all over the place but not a damn word he's saying can be understood! Many people are surprised how similar he sounds to one of The Great Khali's legendary unintelligible rants that weren't even in English!
WHAAAM!!! What the?!?
Heather - "He just whacked Jessalyn Hart in the stomach with that pipe for NO reason at all! She wasn't even looking at him."
Pip - "She was there, Heather. That's reason enough for a roid raging lunatic like Socio."
Heather - "Hart should be able to walk through the halls without being attacked by some steroid beefcake throwing a fit, Pip. She has a match to be getting ready for!"
Socio stomps Jessalyn a few times while calling her a dirty ass bitch, and referees rush over to break it up but he starts cracking them in their heads one by one with his big ass steel pipe!
DING
DING
DING
DING
DING
Five of them all knocked out cold that quickly! And all gushing blood from their heads!
Pip - "Sheesh. This guy must be a beast at Whack-A-Mole."
Heather - "Not funny. He could have killed them! Look at the look in his eyes."
"I'M THE ALL DAY ALL NIGHTER AND THERE'S NO ONE FIGHTER! AND FUCKIN' HUNGRY AS SHIT!"
Heather - "Did he just say.. he's the all day all nighter and there's no one.....fighter?"
Pip - "Yes I think he did... but he also said he's hungry as shit so let's be glad he's gone."
Vinnie Lane's music hits as he comes to a warm reception from the fans. He looks around at the full crowd and signals for the ring announcer to give him the microphone.
"I'm sure most of you know by now, there's a guy that's been running around the world telling them I'm his dad. His name is Seth... Feder. I'm not sure if he really is related to Sid, but I know one thing -- he's not my fucking son! This dipshit won't leave me alone. But being the cool guy I am, I'm allowing him to come out and get whatever he has to say off his chest in front of everyone so I can finally move on. So come on out Seth."
Seth comes out without any music. He looks a bit nervous as he pauses halfway to the ring and looks around to mixed reactions. It seems people are ready for this segment of the show to finish before it really has even begun. Seth continues to walk and gets in the ring.
"Alright, Seth. I'm here. You're here. What do you have to say?"
"Dad."
"Mr. Lane."
The crowd boo's at Vinnie. Seth looks around and signals the crowd to lower their voices as he continues.
"Mr. Lane. I stole money from you. I stole money from my girlfriends, friends, and every place I've ever worked."
"That's a big fucking surprise."
"I want to make things right. I'm here to prove myself as a Feder and as a Lane. I want to make you proud and want to pay you every penny back. I know it's a lot, but hear me out. Let me fight for the XWF and every paycheck I get will go to you. I don't want any money."
"Seth, you..."
"Listen. I know you don't want to talk about our relationship, and that's fine. I've made peace with that. In fact, I'm on a spiritual journey now. Life is more than drugs, sex, and power. Just let me pay you back. I need this. I need to right my wrongs."
Vinnie walks closer to Seth and the two have a short staredown. Vinnie smiles and gives a strong slap across Seth's face. Seth looks like he's about to hit Vinnie, but holds back. The two exchange some words without the microphones picking it up. Vinnie drops the microphone and leaves the ring as we hit our first official commercial break.
Camera’s FINALLY catch up with SHANE who has PAGE scooped up over his shoulder on the concourse level of the Stadium before slamming him down on the concrete to a nice splat as fans surrounded SHANE and PAGE as they scream and yell towards the men.
HHL: Cameras have caught up with and PAGE as this war continues and they're on the concourse of Ellis Stadium!
pushes through the fans towards a concession stand where he snatches a red and yellow squeeze bottle before coming back through the crowd to PAGE where he shakes his bottles before flipping them over and squeezing ketchup and mustard down on top of PAGE!
" Here you go, shit boy! Let's make sure you're a nice, tasty, hotdog!"
PC: is just having a little fun at the expense of CHRIS PAGE.
Shane keeps squirting more ketchup and mustard all up and down the entire length of PAGE's body.
HHL: At least the anti-cottonmouth bit SHANE did earlier kind of made sense being used on CHRONIC CHRIS PAGE and all, but now things are just getting weird...
SHANE tosses the bottles as he then stomps down on PAGE’s sternum as he literally has ketchup and mustard all over him from the top of his head down to his feet. SHANE looks to the fans with a crazed expression and acts like he's calling out somebody's food order.
"One foot-long, shit filled condom! Coming right up!!!"
SHANE picks PAGE up off the floor where he rubs the ketchup and mustard in on PAGE’s face before throat punching PAGE again!
HHL: is all over PAGE!
This red and yellow is the censored version of all the piss and bloody shit you represent, PAGE! I said PISSANDSHIT!!!
SHANE's rubbing that ketchup and mustard all over PAGE's face and shaking him like a mixed drink! SHANE takes PAGE by the head and takes him through the sea of fans that part like the red sea. SHANE takes PAGE towards a merchandise stand where he drives PAGE face first into the merchandise table leaving ketchup and mustard smeared where his head hit as we see take several steps backwards before letting out a primal scream as he charges forward towards PAGE who steps forward catching coming in while turning and driving him through the merchandise table with a Spinbuster Slam! There’s a massive ovation heard all around them from the fans that are amassing as both PAGE and are down.
PC: There’s no telling how far either of these two are going to go in order to end the other one once and for all.
CHRIS starts to stir and work his way back to his feet where he shoves the merchandise guy out of the way and reaches into one of many boxes that sit on the floor where he takes out an UNKNOWN SOLDIER t-shirt using it as a towel to wipe off all the debris from the ketchup and mustard before he blows his nose on the shirt and then wipes it in the face of !
HHL: I don’t even want to describe that.”
Page then wraps the shirt around ’s neck and starts choking him with it!
PC: Fine I’ll call it, PAGE is choking is a snot filled shirt!”
HHL: Gross.
CHRIS stops choking and tosses the shirt to the floor where he stomps down on his forehead before picking him up and taking him through the crowd towards a large section of glass doors that seemingly lead into an inner lobby area followed by another set of glass doors which lead outside the Stadium. CHRIS nails with a right hand as they approach one of the glass doors as we see CHRIS take SHANE and hurl him with such force SHANE is sent crashing through the glass pane of the door shattering it into thousands of pieces to a huge “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” chant as SHANE has been busted open!
”This is an absolute train wreck!”
CHRIS spouts out at SHANE.
”What’s a matter ?”
CHRIS steps through where the glass once was and through the steel framing of this door and you can hear shards of glass cracking under his feet as he mounts and starts hammering down into the open wound with a flurry of right hands, each blow smacking against ’s flesh. PAGE screams out at .
”Piece of shit..”
PAGE gets up off before reaching down and picking up a shard of broken glass as we see roll over to his chest where he starts to crawl across the inner lobby towards the doors that lead outside as we see PAGE walk up behind him before reaching down snatching ’s head up before slicing into SHANE’s forehead repeatedly!!
HHL: I think I’m going to be sick.
is screaming out in pain and screaming obscenities as PAGE goes to work!
And the blood really begbegins to flow from his forehead as CHRIS slams head first into the floor.
PC: With everything that’s unfolded between and PAGE I can’t say that I’d be surprised if this isn’t even the tip of the iceberg with what we’re going to see from either of them, in other words the blood is just starting to flow.
CHRIS tosses the broken shard of glass down as he screams down at .
”YOU WANTED TO PLAY? LET’S PLAY MOTHER FUCKER!”
CHRIS looks around the inner lobby as his eyes lock on a black folding chair that’s leaning up against the wall. CHRIS walks over and takes it and brings it back over towards who is pushing himself up off the floor to all fours allowing PAGE to crack him across the back with a vicious chair shot that knocks back down to the floor and into a pool of his own blood. PAGE raises the chair and repeatedly starts smashing it down into the back of with shot after shot after shot before tossing the chair to the ground as the crowd roars with approval.
HHL: This is absolutely barbaric.
CHRIS reaches down snatching up off the floor where he scoops him up over his shoulder before body slamming him into the broken glass that shattered all over the floor!
"Lifeli-"
PAGE kicks SHANE in the teeth before he can finish that word!
PC: Things are not looking for for SHANE and he's running out of options!
Stadium security arrives and keeps the fans at a safe distance away and out of harm’s way while CHRIS reaches down picking up off the floor.
"LIIIFELII–" "SHUT UP!"
PAGE cracks him in the face with an Earth shattering closed fist that sends some blood trailing through the air out of SHANE's mouth. PAGE grabs him and takes him towards the set of multiple matching glass doors which lead outside the Stadium but before PAGE can send him through more glass...
"Cunt!"
BAM!!!
KING HIT! KING HIT!
PC: NOAH JACKSON out of absolutely NOWHERE with his own patented version of the superman punch right to the back of CHRIS PAGE's skull!
PAGE goes down as SHANE looks shocked to see NOAH.
JACKSON: What, cunt? You said and I quote "LiiifeLii" and got punched in the face so here I am.
: It works like that?
JACKSON: If that's what gets me what we discussed.
SHANE looks around for a second and then reached into his pants and pulls out a chocolate bar that's pretty badly beat up almost as if it's been through a non-sanctioned fight today. NOAH gladly accepts the bar and heads off on his way. With PAGE temporarily down, a bloody sees the chair on the floor where he snatches it up and as PAGE starts to rise lays the stiffest and most god awful chair shot to the skull we’ve ever seen! The smack of steel meeting skull is so loud a gunshot does it no justice.
” just scrambled what’s left of CHRIS PAGE’s brain with that shot!
PAGE crumbles to the floor like a sack of potatoes as comes forward with the chair where he stands over PAGE and repeatedly starts jabbing it violently down into the ribs of CCP.
After each chair shot, SHANE screams out a single word...
Shot after shot after shot before throws the chair out of the way and reaches down picking PAGE up off the floor. He takes PAGE by the hair and towards the second set of doors where he hurls PAGE towards the doors only to see PAGE put on the breaks before impact and as CHRIS turns around is already a full head of steam where he SPEARs PAGE through the glass on the door sending both men spilling in outside the main entrance to the Stadium! Both and PAGE lay on the concrete for several seconds as a massive “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” chant starts to echo as the scene cuts back to ringside.
Big Shank is seen walking into a dressing room, as the camera follows. In the room Shank sits down and waits. An XWF Medical team member walks in shortly after wheeling in a cart.
Doctor: Ready for round 2?
Shank: Always.
Shank lifts up his sleeve as the Doctor pulls out a needle. He slides the cover off of it, and pierces the skin. Shank grimaces quickly as the Doctor unloads the needle.
Shank: Damn Doc, that one burned a little bit.
Doctor: A double dose of Vitamin B will do that on occasion. I wouldn't worry too much about it.
The Doctor places the used needle on the cart and shakes Shanks hand.
Doctor: Good luck out there.
Shank: Thanks.
The door opens up as Fuzz walks in, and looks at Shank.
Fuzz: Still doing the Vitamins after every match still huh?
Shank doesn’t respond. Fuzz just stands there nodding his head.
Fuzz: Well good luck out there…..
Shank: Just Leave Already, before I rip your fucking head off.
Fuzz: See you out there…
Fuzz shoots Shank and the Doctor a quick wink, and walks out shutting the door behind him.
Shank: What an arrogant prick. I can’t wait until I get my hands around his throat. You sure there’s no way he could’ve gotten his hands on any of your stuff.
Doctor: He’d have to be a magician, I’ve been right by this cart all night long.
Shank: Good, I don’t want to risk anything with that slimy asshole.
The camera fades out as Shank stares at the door, rubbing his hand over the injection spot.
The words NEVER...BE...SILENT!!! appear on the screen as the song starts. Lights go out Stobe lights at the top of the ramp illuminate the silhouette of Jessalyn. The lights come on to her facing the facing the ring. She runs down the ramp, slides into the ring. Climbs the turnbuckle with arms stretched out.
Atara Themis struts down the entry ramp to the cheers of her adoring fans.
Should be a good one between the returning Jessalyn Hart and the uhhhh...rather attractive Atara Themis.
”Rather attractive” huh?
I'm just sayin' I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating pretzels.
Oh, I'm sure she'd have you.
The bell rings. Themis and Hart start circle each other, and Hart goes in to grab a leg but Themis is able to weave out of the way. They circle for a bit longer before Themis breaks the deadlock by going for a lockup. Getting the early advantage, Themis cranks Hart into a headlock before Hart pushes her off into the ropes. The newcomer runs the ropes and hits a cross body block on the rebound for a quick pin!
1....Nope, kickout by Hart!
Hart's a former tag team champion, I think it'll take more than that!
Once vertical, Hart lands a quick kick to Themis' midsection before going for a DDT, but Themis weasels out and pulls Hart into a short arm clothesline. Themis then jumps down on the small of Hart's back and wraps her up in a chinlock! Hart calls out in pain and tries to reach for the ropes, eventually clawing her way to the bottom! The ref forces Themis to break, but Themis simply grabs hold of Hart's leg and drags her back to the center of the ring! Hart flips over onto her back and kicks Themis away. She then kips up and lands a nasty shot to the newcomer's head, stunning her and followng it up with a knee lift, and then a standing moon sault for another cover!
1....
2......Themis rolls a shoulder!
Your dream girl showing some heart, no pun intended.
I vow to remain unbiased.
Not to mention celibate....
I KNOW WHERE HR IS!
The women lock up again, this time with Themis getting an early advantage, muscling Hart into a Japanese armdrag that sends Hart skidding across the ring. Themis stays on her, launching herself at Hart with a dropkick. She then picks Hart up and dumps her down into a backbreaker across her knee! Themis covers again!
1...
2....another kickout by Hart!
Frustrated, Themis grabs hold of Hart's hair and whips her into the corner. With a head of steam, Themis charges her in the corner, but Hart floats up and over into a sunset flip pin!
1....
2.....
3....NO! Barely a kick out!
Themis looks shocked by the near fall! Hart takes advantage by sizing Themis up as she stands,nailing her with a stiff kick followed by a Snap DDT! Hart then follows that up by setting Themis up for a Widow's Peak!
If she hits this it could be over!
But, as Themis falls she tucks and uses Hart's momentum to pull her down into a pin!
1...
2.....
3.....NO! Hart barely shoots a shoulder up!
A fraction of a second away!
Both men get vertical again, and Atara tags Hart with a brutal chop, followed by two more, backing her up into the corner. Atara then gets to the middle turnbuckle, indicating to the crowd that she's gonna light her opponent up with 10 count punches, but before she can even begin Hart counters into a big time sit out powerbomb from out of the corner! Yet another cover!
1....
2.....
3.....NO! THEMIS KICKS OUT!
I have to say this seems like an extremely even contest between these two ladies!
Hart tags Themis with a right hand as she tries to get up, followed by a big boot to her chest. Hart measures Themis as she rises once more and nails her with the DEATH AWAITS YOU package crucifix driver! She rolls it right into a cover!
1....
2.....
3....STILL NO! Themis finds an out!
Hart starts to look frustrated, and argues with the ref! But Hart takes her eye off the ball long enough for Themis to nail her with a swinging neckbreaker! Themis stays on the atack then, following that up with a side belly to belly suplex. Hart bounces to her feet painfully, only to be met with a slingshot suplex after that! Themis motions for Hart to get up, and she does, but slowly, having just been tossed around like a rag doll! They both take a run at each other and have the same idea of going for a running cross body, but Atara ducks under Hart at the last second. Hart thumps down to the mat but quickly gets back to her feet only to be met with a vicious running knee strike that Themis dubs The Judgement of Paris.
Themis pulls Hart up to her feet and squares her up just right before putting her down once again with Hello Dove, a perfectly executed Northern Lights Suplex right into a pin.
1
2
3!!!
Winner - Atara Themis
Melanie Crayzee Childs steps out onto the ramp, and in time with the music skips to the ring. She jumps up on the ring apron. Turns around and starts laughing. She then makes her way inside the ring, followed by her Manager Antony The Jerk
Geri walks down to the ring with poise and purpose. She rolls under the bottom rope before removing her jacket and tossing it into the crowd as she awaits the initial bell.
The bell rings to start the match.
Geri walks to the middle of the ring and waits for Melanie.
But for some reason Melanie jumps up on the corner turnbuckle and sits down on it. She waves at Geri and giggles.
PIP: "So why is Melanie doing that then?"
HEATHER: "Because she's crayzee.... of course."
Suddenly Geri has enough and goes storming towards the corner. Bad move, Melanie sucked in her, because in an instant Melanie jumps up and dives off the corner post and connects with a FLYING CLOTHESLINE.
HEATHER: "And that is why you never trust a crayzee person."
Melanie gets up first, and helps Geri to her feet, and sends her to the ropes. Geri comes back and she has the presence of mind to duck underneath an attempted clothesline.
Geri stops turns around and waits for Melanie to turn around. Melanie eventually turns around and is slapped by Geri.
Melanie takes a step back and squeals before feeling her face. She then steps forward and slaps Geri back.
The two girls start a slapping match.
PIP: "Oh dear a slapping match!"
HEATHER: "Don't lie you love it."
Suddenly Geri stops and knees Melanie in the guts and as Melanie bends over Geri grabs her an attempts a suplex. Not just one suplex, but 4 suplexes, which seems to have taken the wind out of Melanie.
Geri goes for a quick cover.
1.......
2.........
Kick out.
Geri gets up and lands an elbow down on Melanie.
HEATHER: "Geri looks to have taken control,"
Geri gets up and helps Melanie to her feet, and whips Melanie towards the corner. But Melanie reverses the move into a short arm clothesline and down goes Geri.
Melanie should stay on Geri but Melanie stumbles towards the ropes and looks like she's needing air. But she's not she's waiting for Geri to stand up which she does, and Melanie takes off and tries an attempted spear, but Geri side steps her, and manages to move her into the direction of the corner, and Melanie goes running in. Melanie stops and grabs the corner with two hands. Suddenly she starts squealing and runs out of the corner only to be SUPERKICKED by Geri who was waiting for her.
"Wow Geri was waitong for Melanie then. It looks as if she has her number."
Geri then quickly runs over to the corner and lifts herself atop the turnbuckles and then leaps...
MILLER'S SPLASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1.....
2......
3!!!!
Winner - Geri Miller
305 LIVE
FOR THE XWF INTERNET CHAMPIONSHIP
“Loverboy” Vinnie Lane heads to ringside as the crew prepares for the first of two Anarchy Brand title matches by swapping the ropes to blue and spiffing up the ring skirts with the Anarchy logo.
He slaps some hands and even poses for a selfie with a disabled kid in the front row, because Vin is just a real nice guy, you know?
Vinnie heads to his announce position and waits until…
Vinnie Lane: “Welcome to the Internet Championship match, ladies and germs! A lot of people said I was wrong to book my own fiance as a challenger here, especially since it’s been so long since she competed in an XWF ring… but dude, it’s MY show! Plus look how excited everyone is to see Roxy!”
Roxy Cotton emerges from behind the curtain to a chorus of cheers, whistles, and cat calls from the men in attendance. She struts toward the ring chewing on a wad of bubblegum that she occasionally blows large bubbles from, then pops them with her sharp manicured nails.
At one point, Roxy peers over the top of her designer sunglasses and sees a young female fan begging her for an autograph. She walks over and takes the marker from the child, then scrawls her name across the pad the youngster holds out.
Vinnie Lane: “Awww! See? Roxy totally has a heart when it counts!”
Roxy then snatches the autograph away from the fan and tucks it between her breasts, hiding it deep inside her purple velvet top. She holds her hand out to the mother of the now crying little girl and beckons with her fingers until the woman finds a pair of fifties in her purse and hands them to Cotton… who then swaps the money for the autograph and hands it back to the little girl without a word, then resumes heading to the ring.
Vinnie Lane: “And a keen mind for business!”
Roxy saunters to the ring then, handing off her sunglasses to the official and then pulling her gum out of her mouth and squishing it into the official’s palm as well. The ref doesn’t look too thrilled, but she gives the items off to a crewman outside the ring ad Roxy moves into her corner and waits for her opponent.
The XWF Internet Champion burst through the entranceway as the crowd roared. Bobbi pulled out a microphone, and tapped on it as a heavy rap beat kicked in and she addressed the fans.
“Big Bad Bobbi London, Internet Champ;
Facing off against a tramp am bout to stamp!
Roxy wanna take the title I got on lock like a clamp;
Gonna leave ‘er bent and bloody like a menstrual cramp!”
“Vinnie stole me 30 Second Title, now she wants a repeat;
Well ‘er man got lucky, so ‘er chances look bleak!
But don’t let that stop yous, jump in the fire with both feet;
But I’s gonna melt yous plastic ass cuz you can’t stand me heat!”
“XWF couldn’t find anyone to beat me for the strap;
Bringing in Roxy Cotton, but beating that tramp will be a snap!
Gonna treat ‘er like a venereal disease, get rid of ‘er like the clap;
Send ‘er back out of the XWF after a three second nap!”
Bobbi enters the ring, ready for a battle.
Vinnie Lane: “And here’s the XWF’s first and reigning Anarchy Internet Champion, the “Big and Beautiful” Bobbi London. Bob’s been an awesome part of Anarchy and is just a rad chick all around… but I gotta say, Roxy has her outclassed! Roxy is a multiple time champion and is WAY tougher than she looks, dude.”
As soon as the bell sounds, Roxy Cotton bails from the ring. Bobbi London is left standing against the ropes with her hands up mocking the blonde bombshell. Roxy pouts and shows the official her finger… it looks like she’s broken a nail!
Vinnie Lane: “Oh no! I hope she can recover from that! I guess I know who’s going to need a NEW pedicure right after the show… not a cheap one either…”
Bobbi rolls out under the bottom rope and gives chase to Roxy, who sprints ahead of her. The two circle the ring twice and Roxy seems absolutely shocked that Bobbi hasn’t fallen over from a heart attack yet.
In fact, Bobbi seems to be gaining on Roxy. And once Roxy realizes that she tries a new tactic, running up the ring steps and turning to leap at Bobbi as she rushes after her, and catching the big beaut in a headscissor! Roxy swings like a pendulum, her head barely missing the ringside floor, and the momentum sends London somersaulting into the barricade at ringside.
Now with an advantage, Roxy moves behind Bobbi and puts her foot in the back of Bobbi’s head… then shoves her forward so her face crashes into the railing!
Vinnie Lane: “Brutal move from Babe. That’s what I mean, though… Rox knows how to get things done in a match! I think we’re gonna see a new champion here tonight!”
Roxy slides back into the ring to break the referee’s count that you guys probably didn’t even realize was happening. Man, referees count SLOW. Roxy then slides right back out of the ring and lines up while Bobbi crawls to her hands and knees. Roxy runs forward with a big soccer kick right to the ribs of Bobbi London, who falls over sideways and clutches her torso in pain.
Roxy hope onto the apron and waits again as Bobbi slowly gets to her feet. Rox then dives off at her with a double ax handle, but London snags her in midair in a bear hug and runs her back-first into the ring post. Roxy wails as she slides down the pole, most likely not for the first time in her life. Bobbi grabs Roxy and shoves her into the ring, then follows her in and drops a running senton onto her, going for a quick cover!
1!
2!!
Roxy kicks out emphatically, but she still favors her back, pressing her hand into it and wincing. Bobbi drops a big elbow, but Roxy avoids it! She slithers her legs around Bobbi’s head and neck, sinking in a figure four sleeper hold… the Wet Dream!
Bobbi flails and kicks her legs, eventually pulling herself close enough to the ropes to get her ankles around the bottom strand and get the hold broken. Roxy protests and refuses to release the hold until the count of four and a half, when she stands up and gets in the official’s face the shout at her.
Once Roxy finally turns around, she eats a huge running lariat from Bobbi London that turns her inside out. Roxy does a full flip in the air and lands on her face, and Bobbi straddles her back and starts raining fists down onto the back of Roxy’s skull. The official admonishes London for the closed fists, and when she grabs London’s arm, Roxy sends a back elbow thrusting upward into Bobbi’s titty. London groans and grabs her big ol’ mam, allowing Cotton to squirm free from under her.
Bobbi scrambles to her feet and runs face first into a high roundhouse kick from Roxy, who then goes low and sweeps Bobbi’s legs out from under her. Pleased with herself, Roxy heads upstairs to the top turnbuckle and raises her arms to the crowd, preparing for a big moonsault to secure the win.
Vinnie Lane: “Roxy gets higher than anyone I’ve ever seen on her moonsault. It’s ALL impact when she comes crashing down… and it hurts inside!”
Roxy smiles and waves to the fans, then leaps backward. She hits a perfect arc with a super high high point. With grace and beauty she turns over herself and completes the move with perfection, but lands on nothing but canvas. Bobbi London rolled away, and now stands over Roxy who’s writhing in pain.
Bobbi leans smiles and signals by slapping herself on the rump… it’s time for the Thunder From Down Under!
Vinnie Lane: “What an upset it will be if Bobbi London somehow hits this move and wins the match!”
Bobbi backs up to the ropes looking to bounce off, but the top rope is suddenly lowered. Someone pulled it down! Bobbi London topples over the top rope and falls out of the ring and hits the floor hard. Then, the perpetrator starts beating on her with a decorative scepter, shattering it into a million pieces… the audience gasps as it realizes what’s happening, and when they recognize the attacker.
Vinnie Lane: “What the heck!? That’s Atara Themis! One of the newest faces on Anarchy! Atara just pulled Bobbi out of the ring and is mercilessly assaulting her with that international object… probably Greek, TBH. The official has no choice but to disqualify Roxy, who I am sure had nothing to do… oh.”
Roxy laughs as the bell sounds, indicating the disqualification loss. She slides out of the rings and stands next to Themis. The two of them start putting the boots to London who can’t do anything but cover herself up and try to deflect the assault.
At the ramp, Bobbi’s partner and good friend Maxine bursts through the curtains and runs toward the ring, and Roxy and Atara Themis each leap over the rail and head through the crowd, laughing and taking turns holding up each other’s hand as if they’d won.
Vinnie Lane: “Folks I don’t know what we just witnessed, but those two golden goddesses just put the hurt on Bobbi London! Maxine’s checking on her, but the Hefty Aussie looks like she might be injured… a concussion at least!”
Roxy and Atara vanish through the crowd together as medics run out to help Maxine with London. Max lifts London and carries her to the back, leaning her head back and howling in sadness for her hurt friend.
Winner by DQ - Bobbi London
Camera’s cut outside in the front parking lot of Liberty Stadium where SHANE is shown driving CHRIS PAGE face first of the hood of a red sports car causing the alarm to sound off like a siren!
HHL: The NON SANCTIONED fight between SHANE and CHRIS PAGE rages on in the parking lot across the street!
takes PAGE and hoists him up on the front hood of the car before climbing up on the car himself as blood covers his face but it’s like he doesn’t even care. positions PAGE and then hoists him up before delivering a Pildriver! The front hood of the car dents down upon the impact as PAGE’s body rolls off the hood of the car falling down to the asphalt below.
PC: This is completely uncontrollable!
SHANE looks down at CHRIS with a sadistic smile on his face as he jumps down off the hood of the car where he kneels down and spouts out at CHRIS.
"Wake up, CCP! This is the moment you've waited your entire life for!"
"This is the only REAL title shot you've ever earned in your entire career and you're booked against the champion who wants to help you SHATTER the record books just like you were born to do!!"
SHANE reaches down picking CHRIS up off the asphalt where he takes him by the head and throws him face first THROUGH THE DRIVER’S SIDE WINDOW! The sounds of glass shattering upon impact is heard as pieces sail all over the interior of the car as PAGE’s upper body hangs in the car while his lower body hangs on the outside. pulls PAGE out of the car as his face is a crimson mask. SHANE spins PAGE around taking him by the head as he walks towards the back of a pickup truck where he hurls him into the back of it head first causing PAGE to whiplash backwards and land on the asphalt.
HHL: These are personal vehicles that SHANE is using as instruments of destruction! He might have some answering to do if he ends up damaging the wrong person's vehicle tonight!
SHANE drops down the tailgate before picking CHRIS up off the ground before delivering a stun gun like move on the tailgate!
PC: Neither one of these two men have so much as attempted a pinfall! They’re not trying to win, they’re trying to kill each other!
gets up off the ground where he snatches PAGE by the head as both men are losing a lot of blood. SHANE throws PAGE out into the street where an oncoming car barely misses hitting him as it swerves into the opposite lane before darting back over into its right lane of traffic to a horrific gasp from the announcers as turns and screams at the car.
"ASSHOLE! You fucking MISSED! Get back here right now!!!"
simply shakes his head as he walks out into the street kicking PAGE in the ribs as he reaches all fours which knocks PAGE into another lane of traffic and at the sidewalk that runs in front of Liberty Stadium as hundreds of fans line the sidewalks and staircases .SHANE comes forward where he reaches down picking CHRIS up where PAGE out of sheer desperation manages to low blow ! CHRIS wipes away the blood from his face as he works his way up to his feet.
HHL: Clearly didn’t protect his jewels like PAGE did.”
PC: Not the first time we've seen SHANE fall victim to that fact tonight and knowing how personal this has gotten between these two it probably won't be the last time SHANE gets his nuts throttled.
CHRIS now reaches down picking SHANE up as the crowd parts when CHRIS brings up on to the sidewalk and snatches a back waist lock where he delivers a Release German Suplex on to the sidewalk!
PC: Just when I think I’ve seen it at its worst they pull out something else that is career threatening!
is folded up on the concrete as PAGE lays on his back for several seconds before starting to get to his feet. CHRIS kicks in the sternum before reaching down and picking him up off the concrete sidewalk where he delivers a solid right hand that rocks backwards and further down the sidewalk! PAGE comes forward with a boot to the midsection before taking by the hair down the block as the camera cuts back to ringside.
PC: Now where the heck is PAGE taking him?? And how many more of SHANE's so-called "Lifelines" are going to sabotage this match?
“The following contest is an XTREME RULES GRUDGE MATCH!”
There’s a pop from the crowd
The crowd erupts into loud boos!
“Introducing first, about to make his way to the ring… he is PETER GILMOUR!”
The lights in the arena dim, then go to full black. We then see fire emiting from the ramp after a bell tolls a few times. We then hear "SUCK MY DICK" blast from the PA and the crows begins to go ape shit. "FUCK EVERYBODY" by Steel Panther begins to kick in as res strobe lights and lasers hit the stage. We see Peter Gilmour and his demon assassin Valerie Sky appear on the stage. They look around as Peter bobs his head to the music. As soon as the chorus kicks in we see Peter start singing into the camera saying, "EVERYBODY CAN SUCK MY DICK!" They head to the ring and then get in normally. Peter then throws his hands up in an "X" pose as fire and fireworks go off above the ring in the same manner. Peter looks at Valerie and smiles wickedly as they look at the stage waiting for their next victim.
“And his opponent….”
There’s a huge pop from the crowd!
“Being accompanied to the ring by Adam Barker, he is THE TRISTAN SLATER!”
ADAM BARKER walks out to the top of the ramp looking like a million bucks as he’s followed out by THE TRISTAN SLATER who walks past ADAM with his eyes solely focused on GILMOUR who paces back and forth like a caged animal. GILMOUR actually rolls out to the floor where he meets SLATER on the ramp with a heated exchange of right hands between both men!
”You had to have known that this one was starting anywhere BUT the ring!”
”At least it’s starting straight up and not from behind.”
SLATER gets the better of the exchange as he drives a knee into the midsection of GILMOUR before taking him by the head towards the ring where he drives him head first into the steel steps! SLATER doesn’t waste time as he goes under the ring pulling out a steel chair. SLATER jabs the chair into the gut of GILMOUR doubling him over only to whack him across the back with a shot that echoes throughout the Stadium. SLATER slides the chair into the ring before turning his attention towards GILMOUR where he picks him up off the floor before hurling him into the ring under the ropes before sliding into the ring himself where the bell officially rings.
DING… DING… DING….
SLATER is back to his feet where he takes the chair and wedges it in a corner between to top and middle turnbuckle before turning around and runs across the ring where he springboards off the middle rope looking for a leg drop that see’s GILMOUR roll out of the way and SLATER crashing down on to the canvass. GILMOUR pushes himself back to his feet where he picks SLATER up and sends him crashing head and face first through the Chair that was just set up and with the momentum sending SLATER falling out to the floor. GILMOUR drops down to the mat rolling out to the floor where he goes under the ring and pulls out a STAPLE GUN!
”This didn’t take long to get out of control!”
GILMOUR comes forward holding SLATER in place as he uses the staple gun on Slater’s forehead! ADAM tries to intervene but is intimidated backwards by GILMOUR who simply holds the Staple Gun towards ADAM. GILMOUR shifts his attention back towards SLATER where he holds him again and for a second time uses the staple gun into the forehead of TRISTAN! SLATER screams in pain as he crawls away from GILMOUR who tosses the staple gun back into the ring where he then charges forward kicking SLATER straight into the ribs! GILMOUR mounts SLATER and starts hammering down with straight right hands violently into the face of SLATER before getting up off TRISTAN where he reaches down picking him up and takes him towards the foot of the ramp. GILMOUR locks in a front face lock where he looks to deliver a snap suplex on the ramp which see’s SLATER block and it’s SLATER who lands an inside out Supelx sending GILMOUR crashing down on to the ramp to a huge ovation from the crowd! SLATER turns his attention back towards the ring where he walks towards the ring apron and goes under the ring again only this time pulling out a BED OF BARBWIRE to a thunderous “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” chant from the crowd as TRISTAN manages to slide the Bed of Barbwire into the ring .
”This is about to seriously get twisted.”
SLATER turns his attention back towards GILMOUR as he comes back over picking him up off the ramp where he decks him with a hard right hand staggering GILMOUR backwards up the ramp. SLATER charges forward looking to take GILMOUR down only to have GILMOUR counter with a Spin Buster Slam to SLATER on the steel ramp to a gasp from the crowd at the impact. GILMOUR takes a second to gather himself before stepping back up to his feet. He stomps down on SLATER’s chest before picking him back up off the ramp before taking him the rest of the way to the top of the ramp where he takes SLATER and spikes him down into the top of the ramp with a Spike Piledriver!
”Jesus!”
GILMOUR is back to a vertical base as he looks down at SLATER before looking up at the tron that hangs down above the top of the entrance ramp. GILMOUR looks back down at SLATER before turning and making his way to the side of the top of the ramp where he starts to climbs a scaffold that leads up to the bottom platform of the Jumbo Tron!
”GILMOUR’s got to be twenty feet in the air!
The crowd is on fire as GILMOUR reaches a small section that runs the length of the jumbo tron as SLATER hasn’t moved as GILMOUR carefully inches his way down the smaller platform before leaping off the platform with a Swanton Bomb across the sternum of SLATER on the top of the ramp! The crowd roars loudly before breaking out into a massive “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” chant as both GILMOUR and SLATER are laid out at the top of the ramp.
”GILMOUR just jumped some twenty feet with a Senton on to the sternum of SLATER!
Both men are laid out as referee’s come out from behind the curtain to check on both SLATE R and GILMOUR as the “HOLY SHIT” chant escalates louder. PETER is the first to stir as he reaches his knee’s shoving referee’s out of the way while he gets to his feet, clutching at his lower back before he pushes the rest of the referee’s out of the way and makes his way towards SLATER where he picks him up off the ramp and starts walking him back towards the ringside area. Once they reach ringside GILMOUR lands a stiff right hand that crumbles SLATER to the floor. GILMOUR goes back under the ring where he pulls out a kendo stick.
”Gilly’s got one of his favorite toys.”
SLATER begins to push himself to his knee’s as GILMOUR measures him with the Kendo Stick and as GILMOUR walks closer and looks to take SLATER’s head off with that Kendo Stick he gets hit with a low blow from SLATER to a pop from the crowd as GILMOUR falls backwards to the floor while dropping the Kendo Stick in the process. SLATER uses the ring apron to pull himself to his feet where he immediately goes back under the ring pulling out a lighting tube!
”Neither of these two are going to give an inch until the other is out of the equation!
”SLATER is wielding a Tube Light!
GILMOUR is shown getting to one knee when SLATER burst the light tube over GILMOUR’s head! GILMOUR falls backwards to the floor as he’s been busted wide open as a “YOU SICK FUCK! YOU SICK FUCK! YOU SICK FUCK!” chant starts to echo out throughout the stadium. SLATER’s attention shifts towards the Staple Gun that lays on the floor. SLATER takes the staple gun and places it on GILMOUR’s dick before squeezing the trigger!
”The super dick of GILMOUR’s just got introduced to staples!
SLATER tosses the staple gun as he drops to one knee and goes back under the ring where he pulls out a pair of Handcuffs!
”You had to have known that it was a matter of time before Handcuffs where brought into the equation!
SLATER takes the handcuffs and rolls GILMOUR over on to his stomach before cuffing his hands behind his back! The crowd roars with approval as SLATER picks up the Kendo Stick.
”We’ve seen this from SLATER before!
TRISTAN holds up the Kendo Stick as a bloody GILMOUR reaches his knees, blood trickling down his face as he screams at SLATER which draws the response of being clocked repeatedly in the skull with the Kendo Stick! Shot after shot after shot to the exposed skull of GILMOUR until the Kendo Stick fucking shatters into pieces which opens GILMOUR up even more yet GILMOUR doesn’t fall backwards…
”GILMOUR is laughing!”
Indeed he is which is surprising to SLATER as GILMOUR stands back to his feet where he BREAKS THE HANDCUFFS! SLATER swings at GILMOUR who ducks out of the way and connects with a GILMOUR CUTTER on the floor to SLATER! There’s a moderate pop for GILMOUR who crawls towards the ring where he reaches under the ring and pulls out a TABLE!
”Jesus Christ how much more are either of these two going to be able to take! This is a car crash!”
GILMOUR starts to set the Table up on the floor before going back under the ring where he pulls out a two black sacks. The first that he opens is THUMBTACKS! GILMOUR empties thousands of Thumbtacks on the top of the table before throwing the bag to the floor. He opens the second bag which he reaches in and pulls out a small thing of LIGHTER FLUID! GILMOUR starts pouring the Lighter Fluid on top of the Table before reaching back into the bag and pulling out a book of matches! The crowd responds loudly as PETER sets the table on FIRE!
”At what point does this go to far?”
”It’s an Xtreme Rules Grudge Match, surely you didn’t expect sunshine and rainbows.”
GILMOUR shifts his attention towards SLATER before picking him up off the floor where he positions SLATER for a Powerbomb! GILMOUR hoists SLATER up in the air and looks to drive him through the flaming table covered in thumbtacks with a Powerbomb that SLATER counters with a Sit Out Face Buster sending both men crashing through the flaming table covered in thumbtacks! The crowd roars loudly with another chant of “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” directed towards both SLATER and GILMOUR as referee’s immediately are on the scene with fire extinguishers putting out the blaze as burnt flesh fills the Stadium and both GILMOUR and SLATER lay within the ruble of the burnt table. SLATER has thumbtacks in his ass and lower back while GILMOUR’s face and chest of covered as well!
”OH MY GOD!”
”Both GILMOUR and SLATER are human pin cushions!!”
Both men lay within the ruble with SLATER being the first to move and start to crawl out of the debris as ADAM BARKER looks on in sheer horror. SLATER reaches up grabbing the ring apron and starts to pull himself back up to his feet showing hundreds of thumbtacks on his lower back and ass. Pain is firmly etched on his face as he reaches down picking GILMOUR up and out of the debris on the floor where he brings GILMOUR around the ring and throws him into the ring under the bottom rope before sliding into the ring himself as there’s a solid ovation from the live crowd. SLATER uses the ropes to get back to his feet where he shifts his attention towards the bed of barbwire in the ring drawing a massive ovation from the crowd.
”Oh no…”
SLATER reaches down picking GILMOUR up off the mat where he positions him for the Flip Piledriver!
”Neither one of these two have remotely tried to win this match and now it looks like SLATER is in the driver’s seat.”
SLATER is about to deliver the Flip Piledriver into the bed of Barbwire! Suddenly GILMOUR counters with a back body drop sending SLATER crashing down into the bed of barbwire to a huge gasp from the crowd with GILMOUR falling backwards on top of him with a cover!
“ONE!!!!!”
“TWO!!!!!!!!!!!”
“THRE………………………….”
SLATER kicks out and in the process rips some flesh off his upper body! GILMOUR rolls off SLATER to the safety of the ring mat if there’s ever a safe place within this brutal affair. GILMOUR wipes the blood away from his face as he gets to his feet where he reaches down picking SLATER up and out of the bed of barbwire as SLATER’s back is bleeding in several areas. The crowd starts a “PLEASE DON’T DIE! PLEASE DON’T DIE! PLEASE DON’T DIE” chant directed at both GILMOUR and SLATER!
”I don’t know how much more of this I can watch.”
”This is what happens when you literally despise the ground your opponent walks on. You had to expect that this was going to be wild and crazy.”
GILMOUR locks in a front face lock on SLATER where he backs up towards the bed of barbwire. GILMOUR looks to deliver a suplex into the bed of barbwire but SLATER manages to counter into a GILMOUR CUTTER in the ring! SLATER rolls GILMOUR over making the cover while hooking the near leg.
“ONE!!!!”
“TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“THRE………………………….”
GILMOUR KICKS OUT!!!
”I DON’T BELIEVE IT!”
SLATER reaches both knees cutting his eyes at the referee who shows him two fingers as SLATER simply shakes his head as he steps back up to his feet where he shifts attention towards the bed of barbwire before turning back towards GILMOUR where he picks PETER up where he scoops him up before body slamming him into the Bed of Barbwire! There’s another thunderous gasp from the crowd as GILMOUR screams out in pain as we see SLATER staggers towards to the ropes where he steps through the ropes to the ring apron.
”What the hell is he about to do?!?!?!”
TRISTAN eyes GILMOUR who is laid out in the bed of barbwire where he spring boards off the top rope with a 450 Splash on to GILMOUR into the bed of barbwire to a massive “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” chant as we see SLATER rolls off GILMOUR through some Barbwire as pain is etched on his face and blood starts to flow from several places across his forehead from the landing on GILMOUR!!
”Somebody needs to stop this!
SLATER crawls towards the ropes where he starts to work his way to his feet using the ropes to assist him. SLATER looks back at GILMOUR in the bed of barbwire as he starts to shake his head before stepping out to the ring apron where he makes his way towards the nearest set of buckles and as he starts to climb towards the top rope we see GILMOUR starting to stir as he begins to roll out of the barbwire, blood all over his back.
”SLATER’s going up top!”
SLATER reaches the top rope and as he stands up on the top rope VALERIE climbs up on the ring apron where she runs down the apron towards SLATER yanking his right leg out from underneath him causing him to crotch himself on the top turnbuckle to massive boos from the crowd! In the ring GILMOUR has rolled over and on to the mat where he’s pushing himself up off the mat. VALERIE is yanked off the ring apron by ADAM BARKER to a roar from the crowd! VALERIE attempts to slap ADAM in the face only to have her hand caught and to see ADAM hoist VALERIE up over his shoulder before taking her back put the ramp!
”ADAM BARKER is removing VALERIE from this equation!”
ADAM takes VALERIE all the way back through the curtain while in the ring GILMOUR has worked himself back to his feet where he staggers towards SLATER who is still crotched on the top turnbuckle. GILMOUR hammers SLATER with a right hand before stepping up on the middle rope where he locks in a ¾ head lock as the crowd starts to come alive!
”He isn’t….”
GILMOUR comes off the middle ropes with a GILMOUR CUTTER into the Bed of Barbwire that causes the entire Stadium to gasp before exploding with a thunderous ovation as both GILMOUR and SLATER lay in the bed of barbwire! A thunderous “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” chant echoes throughout the Stadium as crowd shots are shown of random people with completely shocked expressions on their faces.
I am at a complete loss for words with what we are seeing between SLATER and GILMOUR, neither one of these two will ever be the same again.
PETER manages to pull himself out of the Barbwire and make a cover on SLATER!
“ONE!!!!!!”
“TWO!!!!!!!!”
“THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
DING…. DING…. DING…..
Winner - Peter F'N Gilmour
The crowd is in complete shock with what has transpired! EMT’s hit the ring where they immediately get PETER out of the barbwire and start checking on him while another set of EMT’s get SLATER out of the barbwire where they tend to him but he isn’t in the best of shape as a stretcher is brought out where SLATER is placed on a stretcher and quickly wheeled up the ramp. Camera’s follow SLATER as he’s pushed through the curtain and through gorilla to an awaiting Ambulance where he’s loaded up and sent to the nearest medical facility.
FOR THE XWF ANARCHY CHAMPIONSHIP
The sky in Johannesburg had been clear all day, which meant a sky without a single cloud. It was warm, an unseasonable weather for the men and women of the XWF used to colder winters, and that meant children still playing in the streets and alleyways. Sitting on top of a dumpster along the back of the arena playing host to Lethal Lottery, Ruby Debauchy’s shoulders slump and her head hangs. Still dressed in her Banana-Lime Girl gear from an hour before, her entire body radiates disappointment and pain. Not only had the semi-final round of the Lethal Lottery tournament not go the way she and her partner Vita Valenteen had hoped, she had gotten banged up along the way. Every part of her body was sore, and the green mask sitting on her lap staring up at her seemed to cast judgement at her.
??????: ”Bonjour, mon ami”
Ruby sighs as she stares down at the mask.
Ruby: “Speak French often, Lackersnackers?”
She hears a growl from the direction of the voice.
Lacklan:“I asked you to show me respect, Ruby. None of your silliness.”
Ruby sighs again as she looks up. The dumpster she sits on is one of many, all in a neat line leading away from the large double doors at the back the arena, and Sarah Grey-Lacklan stands three away. Dressed in one of her massive robes...this one with stupid raven feathers along the neck being taller than her entire head...Sarah was also dressed for battle underneath with red and black bodysuit and heavy leg braces. Behind her, Lawanda Sass stands in the striped shirt of her station, and holds the XWF Anarchy Heavyweight Championship in her hands.
Ruby: “Just a bit of fun, Sarah. Remember fun? Remember when you and Roxy pranked my locker on my first day?”
Sarah stands impassive, with a look of severity on her face.
Lacklan:“Fun isn’t something one considers when balancing professional wrestling.”
Ruby sighs again.
Ruby: “Thanos quotes, huh? Little on the nose, my guy. But…”
She pushes herself off the dumpster and lands on her feet, though pain shoots up her side and she has to take a step on the landing. But she rights herself, clenches her hands into fists, and holds them up before her.
Ruby: “I can do this all day.”
Sarah turns her head to Lawanda and nods. She removes her robe, letting it fall to the ground behind her, and then rushes as Ruby. Ruby sets her feet and pivots as the former champion comes close, diving to the side and between two dumpsters. Sarah tries to compensate by turning on her toes, but she has too much momentum and flies by Ruby. As she does so, Ruby slides back out from in between the dumpsters and runs after Sarah, launching herself into the air and catching Lacklan with a dropkick to her face. Ruby pushes off Sarah as she connects, flipping upside down to land smoothly on a bended knee, and watches as Sarah careens off. She stands up quickly, looking to rush in again, but finds her vision blurred for a moment, her head swimming from one of the shots she took during the insane triple threat tag team match earlier in the evening.
She shakes her head, pushing away the cobwebs, and turns right around into a Supergirl from Sarah! Sarah’s leaping, jacknifing punch catches the Anarchy Champion right on the chin, and Ruby’s knees buckle, sending her down to the ground. Sarah doesn’t hesitate in going to work, immediately stomping on Ruby’s torso a few times, not quite able to catch the champion in the head with her heeled boots as she covers up. But Sarah keeps the stomps going, down Ruby’s legs and up the other side, forcing Ruby to keep adjusting her hands to block as much damage as she can, until Sarah is finally able to sneak a kick in that catches her in the temple. Ruby rolls away on the ground, holding her head, while Sarah screams at her for being stupid enough to take this fight while having to also compete in the Lethal Lottery.
As Ruby gets to her knees, still holding her head, Sarah reaches up and flips up the lid of the nearest dumpster. Well, tries to, anyway. Being 5’2” might well help you join a certain mafia, but it doesn’t help you do things like lift up a dumpster lid. It takes her several tries, which gives Ruby precious time to recover, and when Sarah finally gets the lid up and over and turns around to grab Ruby, the champ pulls her in for a Ruby Cutter! But Sarah catches Ruby this time, not falling prey to the move that took away her title, and pushes Ruby away, who collides into another dumpster. Sarah screams and runs towards her, leaping into the air and looking for a jumping knee strike, but Ruby drops to the ground at the last second and Sarah ends up driving one of her heavily-braced knees into the metal instead.
Ruby takes the moment to breath while Sarah curses at the pain in her leg. She looks over at Sarah and sees that she is preoccupied with fixing her knee brace, as some of the metal has become bent with the impact, and give herself a nod. She runs towards a dumpster and leaps, places one foot in the open space at the side where the teeth of the truck pick it up, and parkours herself to a standing position on another dumpster. And just as Sarah turns around after fixing her brace, Ruby leaps high into the air and comes crashing down top Sarah with both feet, her Ruby in the Rough connecting straight down atop Sarah’s head! The former champion’s eyes glaze over from the impact, but Ruby is fast to get back to her feet and grab Sarah by the waist and neck. She yells for all of her might and whips Sarah up and over into the open dumpster! She climbs the dumpster next to it and grabs the lid. She looks down just in time for Sarah to see where she is, see that her perfect skin and silk wrestling gear, is covered in trash, and begins to scream. Ruby’s eyes clench in pain at the sudden shriek, but she slams down the lip and jumps down to the ground, where Lawanda is there to hand her her title belt.
Winner and STILL XWF Anarchy Heavyweight Champion - Ruby
Our cameras go back to the loading area of Liberty Stadium where a bloody SHANE is dragging CHRIS PAGE back into the building through a massive roll up door. We see a member of the security staff at the Stadium come forward to try and assist PAGE as he’s unknown to this NON SANCTIONED fight is still underway and as he gets within arm’s reach SHANE jabs out his free hand connecting to the security guard as loud popping sounds are heard and the security guard suddenly starts shaking uncontrollably until draws back his hand revealing a STUN GUN! The security guard falls to the ground like dead weight before turns around to see CHRIS starting to stir. He shakes his head before walking back over and using the Stun Gun on PAGE!!!
" Snap Crackle Cop, Chronic krispies! HA! Fucking pop pop bitch!"
He keeps zapping the living hell out of PAGE!
HHL: What else are we going to see from these two as this NON SANCTIONED fight has literally been ongoing throughout this entire program!
SHANE continues to use the Stun Gun until the battery goes dead in which draws the stun gun up towards his face where he clicks the button and sure as shit the battery is dead. just takes and WHIPS the stun gun straight down into the head of CHRIS PAGE and it shatters into a dozen pieces on impact!!
PC: Jesus!
HHL: Ouch! That may have hurt worse than the stunning did!
SHANE pauses and looks off into the distance before physically walking into the back of Liberty Stadium and off camera as PAGE lays just feet outside of the doors on the loading ramp that leads into the building.
PC: Where’s SHANE going?!?!
SHANE back on screen ...
AND HE'S NOT ALONE!!!!
He's with a large man pushing a shopping cart! The fans know who that is!!!
PC: Oh good god! What's SEBASTIAN DUKE doing here now?!?
SHANE laughs and just mouths "ha ha life line" at the camera as he and DUKE pass it. SHANE stands back and DUKE stalks PAGE who is starting to stir. PAGE slowly is pushing himself up and gets caught by a running big boot from SEBASTIAN DUKE that sends PAGE topping over into that shopping cart!
The cart falls over from the impact so SHANE and DUKE set it back up and do the whole routine again but this time SHANE holds PAGE still and helps to make sure the cart doesn't tip over after he's booted into it.
DUKE spits on PAGE and exchanges a nod with before exiting the area.
then takes the cart and starts to push a motionless CHRIS back into Liberty Stadium as we see SHANE start to pick up momentum before shoving the cart forward with authority as we watch is slam into a large blue dumpster before toppling over with CHRIS inside the shopping cart. SHANE laughs with glee!
HHL: This is absolutely insane! Yet oddly enough SHANE seems to be in good spirits? Is he whistling?!?
comes walking towards a fallen PAGE whistling the tune “Whistle while you work” from Disney classic Snow White as he reaches CHRIS where he picks him up and positions him for a Powerbomb. SHANE reaches down attempting the move only to have it countered with a back body drop from CHRIS PAGE causing SHANE to splat on the concrete floor as PAGE immediately drops to one knee taking the next few seconds to try and recover before stepping back up to a vertical base where he pushes on as he turns his attention to the downed SHANE .
PC: What in the world is going on in the mind of CHRIS PAGE right now.
CHRIS walks towards SHANE as he reaches down picking him up off the ground where he takes a front waist lock and delivers an overhead release belly to belly suplex on to the concrete floor! There’s a massive “FIGHT FOREVER! FIGHT FOREVER! FIGHT FOREVER” chant that echoes inside the Stadium as we see CHRIS slowly start to get back to his feet where he now walks off camera while SHANE lays on the concrete in a huge amount of pain. The chant breaks out into a thunderous ovation as CHRIS returns with…
HHL: A BARBWIRE WRAPPED STEEL CHAIR!
is shown rolling over to his stomach and pushing himself up from a pool of his own blood as PAGE comes forward and drives the Barbwire Wrapped Steel Chair into the back of as he yanks it forward with force for good measure causing the barbwire to shred into the back of drawing blood in the process. SHANE screams out in pain as he rolls over on to his back which allows PAGE to use the Barbwire Wrapped Chair as an elbow as he drives it down into the bloody face of !
PC: This is absolutely sick and twisted!
HHL: CHRIS PAGE told the world they’d see a completely different side of him tonight, and he didn’t lie.
CHRIS immediately follows up by grinding the barbwire wrapped chair into the face of !! CHRIS grinds it into the flesh of before standing up and stomping on the back side of the barbwire wrapped chair where he further forces the barbwire into he face of before he reaches down yanking the barbwire wrapped chair off the face of to a horrific bloody mess that is SHANE .
PC: They’re had better be a wing at the nearest hospital on standby for these two following this complete train wreck between PAGE and . At some point you physically can’t go any further, and they’ve been at it since this show kicked off nonstop, losing buckets of blood in the process.
CHRIS lays the barbwire wrapped chair on the ground before picking SHANE up off the concrete floor where he scoops up and body slams him down on to the barbwire wrapped chair to a huge ovation from the rabid crowd inside Liberty Stadium as CHRIS stands over and spouts out.
”I can do this all night you piece of shit!”
Some EMT’s try to check on both PAGE and with CHRIS quickly decking the one attempting to check on him before turning and kicking an EMT who is kneeling at SHANE’s side square in the jaw. The concrete in the surrounding area is coated in blotches of red from all the blood loss from both of these two men. CHRIS reaches down picking SHANE up off the floor before taking him off towards another area as the cameras follow and it’s revealed that they are headed down a hallway that leads to dressing rooms for the talent. Quickly you see XWF crew from production to agents and some talent getting out of the way as we see PAGE drive face first!
HHL: They’re backstage!
CHRIS looks across the hall at a closed door with the name UNKNOWN SOLDIER on a name plate stuck on the front of the door itself. CHRIS takes SHANE by the head as he spouts out.
”Let’s see if he’s home.”
CHRIS takes SHANE and sends him crashing into the closed door causing the door to burst open and SHANE spills inside on to the floor. CHRIS walks into the locker room where it’s completely empty other than SHANE and PAGE, there’s not so much as a bag in the empty space as CHRIS takes notice his self.
”Go figure, can’t say I’m surprised”
The scene cuts back to ringside.
The entire stadium goes black as the song begins. Slowly, the X-Tron begins to show scarce, glowing embers, the light of each one illuminating smoke growing at the entrance of the ramp. As the song continues, more embers are seen until a large fire is displayed on the screen. The ramp then glows Ned's famous blue, revealing a silhouette in the smoke. Slowly stepping from the fog is none other then Notorious Ned Kaye. He stops for a moment, calming himself in front of the clamoring crowd. He lifts an arm, eyeing the stands to watch the many audience members who follow suit. With a single smile, he drops his arm and rushes towards the ring, slipping in from under the bottom rope, picking himself up immediately.
Jim calls upon the powers of the Jimson Bloodline and sends the entire crowd and opponents to the 8th diemesion. As soon as Jim Jimson's super cool and amazing entrance is finished, the crowd and opponents all return to the arena missing out on an epic entrance. Jim places a dead dolphin corpse on the ground, to show his dominance over his opponent.
Danza Kuduro hits and Hanari spins and dances his way out to the ramp in traditional latin Bachata style. He is carrying the flag of the Dominican Republic on a flag pole over his shoulder. He swings his hips and points at the ladies in the front row, winking and making the gun symbol with his thumb and index finger of his free hand. He spins again and walks his way down to the ring with a cocky head swing and a million dollar smile. Climbing the ring steps he gets into the ring, getting on the top rope and waving the flag a few times before jumping down and preparing for the match.
The words "FOLLOW ME" show up on the X-Tron screen as smoke billows at the entrance. Blue and white lights flicker. At the 10 second mark, he steps through the smoke wearing his jacket (Rated R Edge trench coat). Looking to both sides of the crowd. He walks slowly to the ring until he gets about 3/4 of the way down, then jogs and slides into the ring (edge style)...When he gets into the ring he gets up on the far turnbuckle and gets up on it, throwing both arms up.
Jim Jimson is standing tall in the ring, then suddenly the lights go out
Then come back on, nothing has changed, then flames erupt from the entranceway, from the flames a dolphin/human hybrid comes out
Jim steps outside the ring and grabs a Mic then enters the ring again
Ok, what the hell is this? I know I've done some weird stuff, I know I made a huge enemy with the dolphins, but come on! Even I know this is bullshit. You are obviously a dude in a mask.
The dolphin man pulls out a gun
Oh wow, you bought a toy gun amazing. Who are you? Are you Centy? He's the only guy who wears suits are you him?
The dolphin man takes aim at Jim
oh no, he has a gun, I'm going to get shot, by the dolphin man
Put the toy gun down you're just embarrassing yourself, just put down the fake gun you little fuckhea-
*BANG*
Jim gets shot in the neck. He drops to the ground and tries to crawl out of the ring whilst covering his bleeding neck.
BANG!
Jim is too slow he gets shot for a second time, this time in the leg
Dolphin-man goes for another shot, luckily Jim is able to roll out of the ring before a third shot
The dolphin man then throws a smoke bomb onto the floor then disappears.[/color]
A team of paramedics come out and carry Jim on a stretcher, Jim is gone, it's a three way now
Well that just happened.
Good. He sucks anyway.
The bell rings as all three men glance around, looking for Jimson. Capitalizing, moving the swiftest, is Chaos, who rushes in and clotheslines Carnes out of the ring! Ned in with a dropkick to Chaos, sending him tumbling over the top and outside! Both Carnes and Chaos are on their feet and see each other, and they are both raining blows down on each other! As they do, Kaye shoots off the opposite ropes and comes back with a baseball slide, nailing both men and sending them into the guardrail!
This is a four, er, or a three way dance, folks, no count outs!
That's right, this fight can spill anywhere into the arena!
I don't think Ned Kaye wants that, he's a far more technically gifted athlete in the XWF.
Ned methodically climbs to the outside of the ring and puts a boot to Hanari Carnes. He then backs up and comes in with a double knee to the downed Carnes! NO! Chris Chaos is up and uses Kaye's own momentum against him, hoisting Kaye up into a gorilla press! Chaos drops Kaye down across the barricade ribs first! His ass facing the ring, Kaye dangles over the barrier as Chaos climbs up onto the ring apron! He runs at Kaye, looking to deliver some big hurt!
Carnes intercepts! Hanari Carnes catches Chris Chaos out of the sky and spins, planting him on the arena floor with a huge spinebuster! The crowd loves it! They begin chanting, to the same tune and cadence of Seven Nation Army!
Carnes seems pumped up by the XWF Universe backing him, and he pulls Ned Kaye off the barrier by the waist. Carnes with a German Suplex on Kaye against the ring apron itself!
Holy shit, that'll break Ned Kaye!
Carnes lifts Kaye up and rolls him into the ring. Carnes slides in and goes for a cover!
1...
2...
Chris Chaos from out of nowhere to break up the pin! Chaos is on top of Carnes and is throwing mounted punches at Carnes. Chaos gets up and shoots off the ropes, hitting a jumping splash onto Carnes! Chaos with the pin!
1...
2...
Carnes kicks out! Chaos gets back to throwing mounted punches, but Carnes catches Chaos's arm! Carnes manuevers into an armbar! The referee checks on Chaos, and as he does, Ned Kaye has come to and delivers a stomp to Carnes! A stomp to Chaos who is still on the ground! A stomp to Carnes! A stomp to Chaos! Ned Kaye stops and cocks his head back, letting his hair out of his face!
This action is white hot between these three competitors!
With a shot at the Hart Title on the line, why wouldn't it be?
Ned Kaye grabs Carnes in a head hold and brings him to his feet. He goes to Carnes's side and delivers a textbook Russian leg sweep. As he pivots to get back to his feet, Chaos grabs him by the foot, and pulls him back down to the mat! Chaos to his feet, and he lifts Kaye by a headhold, and places Kaye's head between his thighs! Jackknife Powerbomb onto Kaye! With that, Carnes grabs Chaos by the leg, scrambles to his own feet, and throws a snap suplex! No, Chaos blocks the attempt, and lifts Carnes up and drops his body across the top rope! Chaos rebounds off the far rope and sets in to deliver a kick to Carnes's dangling body! Kaye intercepts with a drop toe hold, which causes both Chaos and Carnes to collide headfirst! Kaye with a pinfall!
1...
2...
Chaos kicks out! Carnes shoves Kaye out of the way and pins Chaos!
1...
2...
Kaye grabs Carnes and shoves him off! Carnes to his feet, and both he and Kaye are in each other's face! Carnes with a slap to the face of Kaye! Forearm shot from Kaye to Carnes! Both men are raining blows on each other. As they do, Chaos has gotten to his feet and shoots off of the ropes, coming back with a spear that clears both men off of their feet! The referee steps back in shock!
Chaos quickly gets back his feet and looks down at the carnage he's caused. He reaches down and lifts Ned Kaye to his feet one final time....
THE EQUALIZER!!!!
Chaos wastes no time and quickly goes for the pin on the depleted Ned Kaye...
1
2
3!!!
Winner - Chris Chaos
"I'll be honest with you Pip, Chaos looked pretty darn good in his return match to the XWF."
"That he did partner, that he did."
The lights in the arena go dim as the X-tron displays none other than Abraham Lincoln. He removes his stovepipe hat and addresses the crowd.
"Four score and seven years ago, these Motherfuckers came to kick some ass!"
The arena goes dark, and the lights flash with every gunshot heard as Pistol Packin' starts to play in the arena. The lights come up, glowing red, white, and blue throughout the arena, and as the opening riffs cut the air. A spotlight shines on the entrance and we see the Motherfuckers. Bearded War Pig is hype, screaming back at the rabid fans in attendance, and Robbie Bourbon nonchalantly puts his hands on his hips and surveys the arena. BWP and Bourbon turn to each other, BWP still as hyped as can be, Robbie cool and confident, and they both nod. They give each other a fist bump, and with their knuckles still touching they turn and look at the ring. BWP seems to bounce around, slapping hands with fans emphatically, while Robbie paces somewhat behind him, giving high fives to the crowd on the other side of the ramp. As he does, Robbie pulls a microphone out.
Yo, South Africa, make some noise for your boys!
The fans in attendance go wild.
Well here we go! The Motherfuckers are here and it looks like they're ready to make the most of their time!
You mean waste ours?
BWP approaches the ring and reaches underneath of it, pulling out a pair of steel chairs! He tosses both in the ring as Robbie slowly makes it up the ring steps. BWP rolls into the ring under the bottom rope. He picks up a chair. Robbie steps into the ring and picks up the other chair. Robbie sets the chair up and sits, facing up the entrance ramp. BWP stands behind him. The XWF Universe here in Johannesburg is chanting.
Bearded War Pig grins at the reception as Robbie looks around in astonishment. The music dies down, but the crowd just gets louder.
These fans wanted to see the Motherfuckers have a match tonight!
These fans have seen plenty of amazing matches so far, these jokers are just wasting time and holding up the next match!
The fans are going wild as Robbie puts the microphone to his lips. Before he can say anything, the roar of the Johannesburg crowd deafens you. Robbie lowers the microphone and stands up. He marches over to one of the corners of the ring and mounts the second rope, holding his hands at forty-five degree angles. BWP points out to the ravenous crowd.
Oh, come on, are you going to say anything?
The fans continue to roar. Robbie hops back down from the second rope and returns to the middle of the ring.
Johannesburg, I am Robbie Motherfucking Bourbon, this is the Bearded Motherfucking War Pig, we are YOUR Motherfuckers!
Robbie sits back in the folding chair looking up the ramp. BWP stands behind him.
And the rest of the whole tag team division are a bunch of pansies.
For starters, let's have a look at the 5'2" Mafia. The team that utterly dominated some two or three months ago then just didn't do anything. I mean, I get it, I get it, you had this, you had that, you had shit you had to do that didn't involve, well, actually competing as a tag team.
So, that being said, y'all one shitty tag team.
Yeah, you're both tiny little vicious things, but in the scheme of things, you're both tiny little vicious things that must be nocturnal, or have a weird sleeping schedule, because last I checked the only motherfuckers that have been dominating the tag team ranks have been us Motherfuckers in the ring right now.
So, I guess now that you're a little more free, considering Sarah Lacklan doesn't have to worry about her Anarchy Championship anymore, maybe you'll actually be defending those belts?
Possibly? Eh, who knows. Y'all sure as fuck don't.
Then we keep hearing shit about Big D and Notorious Ned Kaye, the guys ready to challenge for the tag team titles.
They just aren't ready to face the Motherfuckers.
You know, that says it all right there, doesn't it? Just imagine Big D and Ned, sitting in a room, looking at each others balls or something, comparing who has the better smelling taint, then deciding that facing the champions of the division sounds easier than, say, facing the Motherfuckers.
Hell, go check it if you want, when the brass was looking for talent, when the brass was ready to book Lethal Lottery, when the brass wanted matches, you heard it up and down, nonstop, from both of them.
'Yes, boss, we'll have our tag team title shot now, boss, if that's okay with you boss.'
'Hey, boss, that tag team championship match we are owed, that'd be downright swell of you to give it to us, boss.'
But look at what happened, the Motherfuckers were ready for a match. You could have put us in the ring with a couple of bears on steroids, coke, and acid, and we would have been grateful. We would have also whooped the living shit out of a pair of bears on steroids, coke, and acid. You know who you didn't see step up and face the Motherfuckers?
Big D and Notorious Ned Kaye.
A pair of fucking cupcakes. These two are two Snoball snack cakes out of the same damn package. Soft, squishy, kinda gross, and nobody is fucking buying them.
Yo, D, Ned, y'all got something to say about this shit?
Robbie beckons up the entrance ramp inquisitively. After a moment, nothing happens.
Nope, I guess ole' Ned and the D are still trying to figure out who has the freshest taint between them.
Past that, who else do you got? The Sick Cunts?
You know, we would have fucked them up too!
I don't get why they call themselves that, the Sick Cunts. I really don't.
WE'RE the ones nobody wants to fuck with. WE'RE the ones people avoid like the plague.
Y'all are just a couple of festering pussies.
So, that said, if the current cream of the crop of the XWF Tag division is sour, what is left for the Motherfuckers?
With that, suddenly...
...without warning...
...from out of nowhere...
...Bearded War Pig cracks Robbie Bourbon across the back of the skull with the steel chair he is holding.
OH MY GOD!!
DID BEARDED WAR PIG JUST DO THAT???
Robbie crumples to the mat. BWP brings the chair back up over his head and brings it crashing down onto the prone Bourbon's head.
XWF fans, staff, and superstars alike are shockingly confused. The entire XWF universe stunned from the unprovoked and out of character actions of Bearded War Pig. BWP showing no concern or remorse continues to repeatedly smash the steel chair into Bourbon’s skull as if he is a rodent and Pig’s wife ordered him to kill it. Six rapid chair shots at the cyclic rate, makes even some of the most violent and hardcore fans the XWF has in attendance to cringe. Blood begins to flow from Bourbon’s nose and ears as if his brain is bleeding. Pig stops for a couple seconds as he begins pacing back and forth over the fallen People’s Champion.
Stopping dead in his tracks about three feet from the bloodied mess of the fallen Motherfucker. Pig sets the steel chair up and takes a seat, his pupils as dark as the purest demon. A fire in his eyes formed from pure destruction. His heart racing like a mature buck in rut. His hands and legs shaking in pure adrenaline-fueled rage. Pig begins rocking back and forth in the chair, his eyes piercing the soul of his once best friend and other half of the Motherfuckers.
Leaping to his feet, Pig walks to one side of the ring and waves for a microphone. One of the audio and video staff tosses a microphone to this unexplained War Pig who seems to have lost his marbles a little. Pig must leap a little to catch the Microphone, this doesn’t sit well with BWP. Quickly he sprints to the opposite side of the ring. Ricocheting off the opposite ropes, Pig sprints toward the side the audio and visual crew member stands ringside. Pig takes flight like a majestic bald eagle spiraling like a predatorial bird swooping in to catch its prey. Pig slams forehead first into the bridge of the crew members nose sending him crashing over the barricade and into the audience.
“Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit!”
Climbing to his feet smirk on his face and microphone in his hand Pig looks out to the XWF universe and raises the mic to his lips.
Ya’ll seem shocked and concerned! What is this not what Ya’ll want?! Is this not the violence and thrills you spend your hard earn money to see? No? Ya’ll are just like management not wanting to see the Motherfuckers do what the Motherfuckers do best? Well guess what? Too fucking bad! I’m sure you all felt this fuckery! None of you seen this coming! Ultimate Motherfucking move on my part!
The fans begin to boo, as Pig walks around the ring flipping off the fans and fueling the hatred fire. Pig the stops in front of the announce table before climbing on top sternly in one of the most arrogant power stances demonstrated before the XWF Universe. Removing his hands from his hips and unthrusting his bulge to a more comfortable stance. Pig raises the Mic once again to his lips.
Oh is this out of character, is this not what is supposed to happen? I know you all came here to see the Motherfuckers come out here and just devour any and all tag team competition… Well that did seem fun, until I realized no team in the XWF has what it takes to even warm up a dominate team like the Motherfuckers! So, I decided I want a little more excitement in my life! I want to be the extremely violent bastard I truly am! Pondering on what could be the shock and awe that I needed in my life. Long and hard everything was spiraling through my wicked brain. Boom! It had developed in my brain like the universe with a big bang. What is more extreme and violent then backstabbing what seemed to be an unbreakable brotherhood? Nothing! Now all of you can shut your cock holsters and just bath in the violence of the unrecoverable ass whooping I am about to inflict on Robbie “Not so Motherfucking” Bourbon!
Pig drops the mic and hops down off the announce table before sprinting toward the ring and sliding in under the bottom ropes. BWP quickly climbs to his feet and begins to march toward Robbie with nothing but pure anger emitting from his aura. Standing before the fallen and bloody Bourbon, Pig reaches down grasping Bourbon’s mask. Pig begins to hoist Bourbon to his feet from his blood-stained mask. Once Bourbon is drug up to one knee, the people’s energy begins to surge through his body, he delivers a slow but brutally strong right hook into the stomach of Pig. Another and another brick like fist keel Pig over like a sick boy above a porcelain throne.
Bourbon stands on both his own feet, whipping blood from his nose before quickly before swinging and releasing Pig into the ropes with an Irish Whip. Bouncing off the ropes Pig comes flying back with a forearm smash, Bourbon dodges underneath and bounces off the ropes himself. Sending his mass full force like a meteor crashing into the earth, Pig is flattened like a pancake. Bourbon quickly recovers to his feet and begins taunting the fans behind him. Cheers and screaming of his name begin to drown out any other sound in the arena. Bourbon charges the ropes, bouncing off them like a boulder sized slingshot, Bourbon goes for a Big Boy Splash, BWP tactically leg sweeps Bourbon sending him face first into the steel chair.
Weakened and feeling as if he wouldn’t be able to finish Bourbon off without any help. BWP quickly collapses the chair and raises it into the air, sending it repetitively across the small of Bourbon’s back. Bourbon screams out of agony. After about ten vicious back breaking slams of steel on bone, Bourbon flattens out, motionless. Sicken and twisted BWP sets the chair back up as best as he can with it being bent and dented from Bourbon’s thick and strong back muscles. Struggling Pig lifts Bourbon to all fours and barely drags him headfirst in between the ass and back rest of the chair. Pig then gives Bourbon two middle fingers before slamming five face crushing right fists into Bourbon’s skull. Following the fifth downward face punch, Pig takes off like a freight train, bouncing off the ropes, Pig comes flying into the face of Bourbon and the chair set up like a guillotine snare, with a basement dropkick.
Holy shit, that could have decapitated Robbie! What in the world is happening right now?
Someone pinch my nipples; this must be a nightmare!
Our fans and everyone here in the XWF is in compete awe, what about all of the people wanting to see Motherfuckers vs 5’2” Mafia? BWP you really fucked us all tonight!
Utmost disrespect. I couldn’t even imagine what is going through Bourbons head right now, knowing he has been carrying BWP in the tag division and is the only reason he still has any relevance…
Obviously nothing as of now is going through Bourbon’s head, it was just smashed like a lineman’s thanksgiving dinner!
Oink, Oink, Motherfuckers!
Suddenly the lights shut down. A couple minutes pass and then the lights flicker three times before turning back on. Inside the middle of the ring lays an unconscious Robbie Bourbon with a red spray paint spelling out “Purged” across his battered back. Next to his motionless body lays a red, white, and blue American Flag skeletal skull mask.
Robbie slowly gets to his feet in the pale light of the arena, lost in the ring. He groggily looks around, surveying everything around him, and looks down at the mask left beside him. He holds his ribs and wipes at his nose, wincing at the pain. He stoops, slowly moving due to the beating he just endured from BWP, and picks up the mask, staring intently at it. He drops it on the mat. A team of officials and medics rush the ring to assist Robbie, who continually shrugs them off. He steps through the ropes and hops off of the apron, but the damage done to his body causes him to stumble into the barricade ringside, where he barely supports himself.
Never. I have never seen Robbie Bourbon take this kind of beating, why won't he let the medics take care of him?
Robbie limps towards the announce table and beckons for something. A member of the crew hands him a microphone. Robbie props himself up against the table and puts the microphone to his lips as the crowd is in a fervor.
Bourbon and the whole XWF Universe just had their hearts ripped out of their chest!
Robbie holds the microphone to his lips and looks around for a moment ready to speak, until he unsanctimoniously drops the microphone with a loud thud, then collapses himself.
Someone get Robbie Bourbon some help!
Bourbon slouches, hunched over and eyes closed, then collapses to the arena floor. The medics and officials attend to him as a stretcher is brought ringside. The team hoists the massive Bourbon onto the slab and starts to wheel him out of the arena as the crowd is still stunned. At the top of the ramp we see Theo Price alongside Vinnie Lane, both of whom look concerned at the state of Robbie. A smattering of XWF Superstars are also seen, some with tears in their eyes, at the sight of the massive man beaten, broken, and betrayed.
Bearded War Pig has killed Robbie Bourbon!
FOR THE XWF HART CHAMPIONSHIP
The lights go out. Then Thunderstruck by ACDC starts playing. And only white lighting starts flickering on the stage as the song starts. Just as the lyrics get to 'Thunderstruck', there is a glow on the stage, and Kris The Hammer Von Bonn is lit up by the glow and he is holding his Hammer. The lights come back on fully, and he walks all the way to the ring, followed by his Manager Antony The Jerk.
Kris walks up the steel steps. Then climbs into the ring. Oh each side of the ring, he lifts his Hammer in the air, and poses to the audience. He does this four times, one for each side of the ring. He then places his hammer in the corner, and waits for his opponent.
Centurion walks down to the ring with the Hart Title proudly placed over his shoulder. He slowly walks up the steps and steps between the middle and top rope, never taking his eyes off his opponent. He holds the title up in the air as the fans cheer before handing it off to the referee.
With both in the ring the referee signals for the bell and this fight... BEGINS
"This sounds weird for me to say Pip, but dare I query the words?"
"What words Heather?"
"They seem to be spoken and describing all that we do and say?"
"Those kinds of inquires are exactly what got Liz Weinberg axed. Literally. Keep 'em to yourself."
"What? What are you even talking about? Who's Liz Weinberg?"
"Hey! Look! There's a match goin' on out there! And boy oh boy, it is quite a match!"
The commentaters focus on the fight... finally, and we see Kris The Hammer Von Bonn, hammering away at Centurion. Cent is stuck in the corner and he is being ruthlessly hammered away by Kris. Over and over again the fists just flying into his jaw. He even coughs up a bit of blood! But then there's a streak of determination that flashes within his eyes! And he spits a mouthful of crimson directly in the face of Kris! Clearly blinded by the blood of greatness Kris, stumbles back! Or the fact that getting liquid spurted in one's eyes sucks. Come on folks blood in your eyes? Not good. Anyways he stumbles back and Centurion jumps up, ready to fight like Popeye!
"He's Centy the Centurion.... He's Centy the Centurion. Strong to the finish cause... uh..."
"This fight ain't finished. He is Centy the Centurion."
"Toot toot."
Centurion hits Kris Von Bonn with an Uppercut that sends the man flying back like this was a video game! Kris slams against the canvas only for Centurion to greet him with a series of stomps to the abdomen stomach and chest. Kris writhes about in agony and desperately tries to ward off the vicious attack. Then in a frantic wave he powers through the assault and grasps onto Cent's leg. One hard grab does the trick. Centurion topples to the canvas and Von Bonn gets his breathing room so to speak. He leaps to his feet and lifts Von Bonn up by his well styled hair.
"I bet he uses product in that hair. He's way too perfect and pretty not to."
"You're just jealous cause you used the juice from a can of tuna as hair gel."
"You saw that?"
"Ugh... I smell that."
1000 Mile Slam! Von Bonn's body thunders against the ring and Centurion covers!
1
2....
KICKOUT!
Centurions punches the mat in frustration and separates. Kris Von Bonn rises and returns to his corner for a moment and then pivots with a grin. He may have been down but not out. He rushes towards Centurion with a Spear! Which connects as deadly as a missile! Down goes Cent! Thus starts the ground and pound. Repeated punches to the head, neck and chest. Centurion tries to block the assault, to no avail. He eventually has to grasp for metaphorical straws by kneeing his attacker in the groin.
Von Bonn topples to the side and gradually Centurion lifts himself from the canvas.
Towering above Von Bonn, he smirks sadistically and then yanks him up into Fall Of Rome!
The ref counts.
1....
Shoulder up!
What the actual fuck?!?!
"Can you believe that happened, Pip?"
"No Heather, I can't but Cent ain't gonna let that bring his thunder down."
"Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you..."
"Heather there's a time for Tears For Fears and there's now."
"Sorry Pip."
Centurion hits a Leg Sweep followed by him ripping Von Bonn from the canvas only to deliver a Powerbomb! No wait...Von Bon reverse it and delivers a powerbomb of his own.
Kris Von Bon stomps Centurion square on the chest. Centurion winces in pain. Von Bon kneels over Centurion and starts to punch repeatedly on the head of Centurion.
"Holy crap. That’s vicious! Get him off referee."
"Hell no! Love this!! Bring the violence."
The referee instigates a 5 count due to the intensity of the attack.
1
2
3
4
Von Bon stops, and slowly gets to his feet, savoring every moment as the crowd reacts to the intensity of the attack. He picks up Centurion, who is slightly limp.
The lights go out.
The arena is plunged into Darkness.
A Single spotlight focuses on the ring.
Von Bon drops a limp Centurion on the ground as he looks baffled at what is going on.
Music plays as the arena is now a hive of colour, greens, Blues, Reds....
Centurion is getting to his feet, using the ropes for leverage.
Von Bon turns to Centurion, but does not attack him. Instead giving an inquisitive look towards the entry ramp. Centurion replies with an equally inquisitive look
Then all of a sudden.
A confetti cannon Blasts sending confetti into the ring. Then the arena plunged into darkness. The sinister music continues. Then shuts off suddenly....
The lights come back up to find Both men down on the canvas. Out cold.They have a red nose placed on them.
" What the...."
They slowly stir as the arena returns to normality. Centurion gets to his feet and throws the nose into the crowd, he picks up Von Bon who is taking longer to recover. He pulls the Red Nose off Von Bon’s face and throws into the crowd too. A look of Anger and confusion on his face...
"He looks as confused as we are.
"Confused and angry. Centurion is wasting no time trying to put this match to bed.
Cent shoves Von Bon backwards creating enough space for him to deliver his second Superkick of the match. Von Bon is stumbling around extremely dazed when Centurion moves in with the seldom used Fabula Nova Crystallis, a one winged angel that takes down Von Bon and Centurion.
"That should do it."
Centurion crawls over to Von Bon and drapes his arm over top of him for the cover...
1
2
3!!!
Winner AND STILL XWF HART CHAMPION - CENTURION
As we come back from commercial we see Steve Sayors is standing in front of the Lethal Lottery logo.
Steve Sayors: Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome my guest at this time, “Box Office” Brian O’Haire.
Brian O’Haire walks into shot.
“Box Office” Brian O’Haire: Hi Steve.
Steve Sayors: Brian, you’re not in action tonight at Lethal Lottery. For someone claiming to be a “Breakout Superstar”, you haven’t exactly been proactive in trying to get a match. So, what’s next for Brian O’Haire?
“Box Office” Brian O’Haire: well, I...
Suddenly a confetti Cannon pops. And the interview set is plunged into darkness.
We hear sounds of a struggle and some banging. We can hear some shouting from Steve...
Steve Sayors : Tech team! Get the power back here!!!
The ordeal seems to stop. Then we hear
The lights flick back on, we see Brian O’Haire lying on the ground out cold. He has a red nose placed on him, and has had popcorn poured over him.
Steve Sayors looks bewildered
Steve Sayors: Get some help here!!!
Steve Sayors crouches to check on Brian, and nibbles a bit of the popcorn...
Steve Sayors: ohhh Salty....
All three brothers emerge, with Donovan Blackwater in the lead. Pausing briefly, the brothers look around at the exuberant crowd, with immense entertainment. Sharing an amused glance to one another as the fans scream. From there they walk in unison to the ring, occasionally separating to approach a random fan that's losing their mind. Clearly, enjoying the effect they have on the crowd, the Brothers Blackwater continue onward. Once they reach the ring, two of the brothers hold up the bottom rope, as Donovan slides into the ring. Donovan takes his place in the squared circle and awaits his opponent, while basking in the cheers from the audience.
Suddenly the arena lights go red and "Angels Fall" by Breaking Benjamin blares out of the P.A System. After about 40 seconds The Scull Meister finally steps out on to stage, his XWF Universal Championship over his shoulder. He looks around at the XWF Galaxy in attendence and smirks. The chorus of boos fill the arena in disapproval of Skull, he shrugs it off and slowly walks down the ramp, ignoring them. He stops at the bottom of the ramp and smirks once again at the crowd. He then raises his XWF Universal Championship in the air as the boos become louder. He walks up the steps and walks along the ring apron. He turns to look at the fans whilst slowly moving both hands from his face to the floor, gesturing "A look at me" type taunt, before raising the title once again. Scully enters through the middle rope and into the ring. Skull walks over to the far turn buckle and climbs to the top. He holds his hands in the air, making sure the title is there for everyone to see and then does his "Look at me" taunt. The Scully Meister spins himself round and chills on the turnbuckle with his arms folded, his title put over his shoulder. His music fades out.
A giant wall of flaming pyro burst through the ceiling as Thunderstruck RuMbLeS through what remains of the arena! Thunder Knuckles marches down the ramp and rolls into the ring. He isn't wasting any time getting into this fight!
Beast by Puppy plays over the sound system as there's massive amount of boos when Kieran Overton walks out as he screams on top of his lungs with his hands in the air on top of the ramp, wearing shorts, shirt, gloves and boots before walking down as he ignores each one of the fans before he goes up the steps and goes over the top rope and places his hand on his left arm, basically not giving a damn about them before he turns to anger, while he goes to sit in the corner, waiting for his opponent to come to the ring.
As soon the bell had rung, all four men start to throw rapid punches at one another. Then Donovan takes Scully to the corner to Foot Choke him, as Knuckles locks Overton in a Headlock. The ref comes to the corner and Donovan breaks it up by the four count, and stomps on his back. Donovan looks at Knuckles, and Eye rakes him and he and Scully double teams on Knuckles with punches, and whips him to the ropes and connect with a double Clothesline on Knuckles.
”Oh my gosh, that was a nice double clothesline by Don and Scully.”
Yeah yeah…so what, of course that was nice, Heather.
Then Scully picks up Knuckles, and gives his arm a wringer, as Don kicks Knuckles in the gut a few times. Scully then transition it into a hammerlock, but Knuckles grabs Scully by his head and Snapmares him into a chinlock. Overton then grabs Donovan throat and chokes him on the ropes, but breaks it up by the four count from the ref. He then Irish Whips Donovan to the ropes and hits a Vicious Discus Punch that caused Donovan to roll outside.
That punch was lethal to Donovan… it could have cost him the match if he didn’t roll outside.
Well Heather, this match is still going on with Knuckles locking in Scully with the most boring hold in the world… lazy f---
HEY PIP we are family friendly show!!
As the camera cuts to Donovan throwing a fit, Overton follows him outside. Donovan runs around the ring, and Overton tries to chase him, but he gets blindsided by Donovan’s Roundhouse Kick. Then the camera cut back to Scully breaking the Chinlock, and pushing Knuckles and himself to the ropes, and whips him off and connects with a Dropkick. Scully starts to rub his forearm on Knuckles face, then he lifts up Knuckles and drags him to the corner. Scully then moves from the corner and charges at him, but Knuckles moves out of the way that knocked out Scully. As Scully was groggy, Knuckles the gives him Road Dogg punches, then connect with a Diamond Cutter to a groggy Scully and covers …
1
2
Donovan breaks the pinfall…
That was almost close for the X-Bux rookie
Thank god Don came back to break the count!
Donovan grabs Knuckles greasy mullet, and is taken aback by rubbing his hands on the top rope. Knuckles runs his hand through his hair, and swipes him with grease that blind him, as he laughs, Overton slides back into the ring and gives Knuckles a Vicious Kick on his back. Knuckles turns around, and eats a Powerslam. Then he moves back from him, and runs and hit a Senton on Knuckles, then he get on his feet and stomps on him.
Scully gets back on his feet, and locks in a Taz Mission on Overton, but Donovan places Overton’s foot on the bottom rope, and the ref see’s it and Scully breaks the hold. Scully looks at Donovan, and slaps him in the face. Donovan hold his jaw like if it didn’t faze him, Scully slaps him some more until Donovan get heated starts throwing out a Roundhouse Kick on Scully, and drags him to the corner. He sets Scully on the top rope, and tries to go for a Superplex, but Scully breaks the hold by Punching his sides. Then Scully Headbutts him off the corner, and hits a Picture Perfect Moonsault into a cover…
1
2
Overton breaks it up by 2 ½
Overton drags Scully onto the middle of the mat, and taunts to the crowd to signal for the Beast Pain, he locks it in, and Scully tries to break out of it, but can’t move due to Overton applying his weight onto his lower back. Scully tries to reach for the rope, but couldn’t until Knuckles comes out of nowhere with Sweet Chin Music on Overton.
Wow Knucles is really working is butt off here tonight. He’s going all in this match up!
With what his salary is like around here… he’s making damn sure he’s putting in OVERTIME… get it?
…Anyways…
Overton rolls into the outside, and Knuckles follows him. Then they throw punches at one another, and Knuckles grabs his head, and slams it on the apron. Then he tries to Irish Whip him into the steel steps, but it gets reversed by Overton. Overton then picks him up and hits a Sitout Scoop Slam Piledriver on the Steel Steps. Overton goes back into the ring, but get punched by Donovan in the jaw.
Donovan then get him up for a Suplex inside the ring, and it connects. As he prowls around the ring, he sees Scully getting on his feet slowly, and Donovan knees him in the gut, and hits a Sit-Out Powerbomb into a pin…
1
2
TH—KICKOUT!
Scully kicks out, and Donovan get irate at the ref, and he goes after the ref. As they go at it, Overton Shoulder tackles him into the ref which caused him to be knocked out.
OH NO THE REF IS DOWN!!!!
Well with Overton tackling Don onto the ref… it’s expected to be a hot mess.
Then suddenly, the camera cuts to Ezra and Raphael coming down the entrance way with chairs. The run down to the ring, and Ezra cracks a chair over Knuckles head, and he stumbles as Ezra kept hitting him. Then Raphael lift up Overton, and hits a Double Team Stun Gun on the ropes with Donovan.
Donovan and Raphael lift up Scully and Donovan places Scully in a Spinebuster position, and Raphael runs to the ropes and hits a Leg Lariat combo on Scully. Then Ezra climbs back into the ring, and taunt to the crowd, and they weren’t having it with what just took place.
These fans are not happy with the Blackwaters dominating this match… they are so jealous of how strong brother hood is in South Africa.
Pip, I think you are too dumb to know that Ralph and Ezra had no business into this match... this was a set up all along!
Heather…my point still stands…
Knuckles comes back into the ring and starts throwing punches on the Blackwaters with all his energy, then he does a shimmy and throws a punches to Ralph and Ezra that caused him to retreat to the entrance way. Then Knuckles trash talks them to get into the ring, but gets blindsided by rolls of quarters to the back of his head by Donovan. Then he waits for him to turn to him and kicks him in the gut and goes for a…
MAKING FRIENDS ON KNUCKLES!!
Donovan then turns him over, and covers him, but the ref was slowly getting into his feet. Overton then stomps Donovan in the back, and lifts him up on his feet, and holds him up in the air in the Suplex position. Then ten minutes later, he lands a Stiff Brainbuster on Donovan, and goes for a cover, but the ref is now focusing and sees the cover...
1
2
TH—KICKOUT
Overton then locks in a Mandible Claw on Donovan, and Donovan is struggling for the ropes, but he manages to reach it. The ref sees it, and Overton ignores the rule, then the ref counted to four; and he ended up breaking it. Then he Stomps on Donovan, pulls him up by his head, but Scully ends up low blowing him. As Overton is in pain, Scully ends up Super Kicking him onto the ropes, then he goes for a Piledriver which connects.
Scully then goes to the top rope, and stands up, taunting to the crowd. Knuckles manages to shake the top rope, and Scully landed on balls first, as Scully was in pain, Knuckles goes to the middle rope and hits a Super Diamond Cutter off corner.
Oh my god, that was a Super Diamond Cutter off the corner from Knuckles… I wouldn’t be surprised if he gets the win for this match up.
I highly doubt it, Heather, with all these bodies in the ring… it looks like long warzone that’s never going to end.
Knuckles lays across Scully for a pin....
1
2
Broken up by Overton.
Overton grabbs Knuckles by the back of the head and yanks him off of Scully and tosses Knuckles outside of the ring and to the floor.
Scully quickly stirs to life and with Overton still focused on the man he just tossed out of he ring Scully sneaks behind Overton and rolls him up for a surprise pin...
1
2
3!!!
"Heads up move there by the former Universal Champion."
"Absolutely."
Winner - Scully
Cameras catch up with PAGE and as PAGE decks SHANE with a right hand into a room backstage. CHRIS walks into the room followed by the camera as they’ve entered Catering! CHRIS walks into Catering where he’s blinded by powder being thrown in his face by ! SHANE boots PAGE in the midsection before suplexing him on one of the many oval white skirted tables! SHANE follows up with several stiff shots to the bloody face of CHRIS PAGE before pulling PAGE off the table where he hurls him over a table that has a catering spread of various foods knocking everything over to the floor!! SHANE walks off camera before returning with a double sided stainless steel sink.
HHL: “We can officially say they’ve used just about everything including the kitchen sink!”
waits as PAGE rolls over and pushes himself up to all fours and as he does SHANE crashes the kitchen sink down across the back of PAGE knocking him back down to the floor before crashing it down upon his back and second and then a third time before dropping the sink to the floor. He see’s a set of refrigerators sitting along side a wall that has any type of soda or water you can think of. SHANE opens the fridge and snags a bottle of Cranberry juice before walking back over to CHRIS where he opens the bottle of Cranberry Juice where he states.
"A little Cranberry Juice since you’re on your period."
SHANE pours the cranberry juice all over PAGE’s back and back of the head into his hair before throwing the bottle down on to the back of his head. SHANE picks up an empty steel tea pitcher and as CHRIS reaches one knee smashes the tea urn over the head of PAGE knocking him back down to the floor.
"Stay the fuck down, you shit-eating child abuser!"
CHRIS slowly starts to stir as reaches down picking CHRIS up where he brings him over to another oval white skirted table where he rolls PAGE up on to the table before stepping up on a chair then on to the table it self where he picks CHRIS up and then scoops him up over his shoulder where he positions PAGE before dropping him straight down on his head with a Tombstone Piledriver!
PC: The table did not give!!
SHANE rolls off the table with a smile on his face as he looks at his handiwork. SHANE walks off camera as we see CHRIS slowly start to stir as he rolls off the table falling down to the floor where he gets to one knee just in time for SHANE to bring a fully cooked turkey over and smashing it over the head of CHRIS PAGE!
"A turkey for a turkey! Gobble gobble you big dumb !"
reaches down picking CHRIS up where he looks to shoot PAGE into the front of one of the refrigerators only to see PAGE counter and it’s that’s sent crashing into the front of the refrigerator where he bounces off and walks into a boot to the midsection followed by a DDT from PAGE.
Taking just a moment to regain his senses, PAGE notices trying to crawl underneath that nearby refrigerator!
"Good luck with that!"
PAGE enjoys a momentary sense of amusement as he watches struggle to try and reach under the fridge and pull himself under it but to no avail...
But then Shane pulls out a rat!
HHL: Oh my god! SHANE wasn't trying to escape! He was calling for help!
SHANE kisses the rat on the nose and then sends it flying!
"AAAH!!!!"
The rat is tossed right into PAGE's face who screams and falls back trying to grab it and pull it off of him as it claws and bites his bloody head!
PC: And not a single person was surprised when the one to answer SHANE 's call was a literal rodent.
HHL: Wait... was the rat one of his Lifelines?
PC: ...
SHANE tries to push himself up but he's on ice skates and drunk, or at least that's how some would describe how much trouble he's having getting to his feet on this blood soaked floor. Meanwhile the rat is still trying to eat PAGE's face as he rolls around on the floor trying to yank it off of himself!
SHANE finally grabs the side of a table to help himself balance and then he LEAPS up and comes driving the bottom of his boot down...
...down
...and...
SPLAAAAT!!!
HHL: "OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
PC: SHANE just smashed that rat into CHRIS PAGE's face!!!!
The scene cuts back to ringside.
FOR THE TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP
The intro to Destroy the Evidence plays, the crowd get hype. When the drums kick in Noah Jackson runs out from the back with a burst of energy, basking in the glow of sick cunt energy washing over him. He slowly puts his right foot forward and glides down the ramp on his heelies, rhythmically raising and lowering pointed fingers to the sky as the crowd chants.
"CUNT!"
"CUNT!"
"CUNT!"
Until he reaches the apron where he gracefully rolls under the bottom rope and goes straight to the corner continuing his motions and the chants until his music is rudely cut off.
"Can you imagine THAT man becoming TV Champion?"
"We'd probably lose more female viewers than we already have."
"X-Men" by Powerglove hits over the PA as the fans give a mixed reaction. A bunch of 'D's begin to go around the arena via spotlights. After a moment of this, the man himself(Big D) walks onto the ramp with the TV Title around his waist. D wastes no time showing off, rather focusing on his opponent as he makes his way down the aisle.
"The Champion wants a piece of Noah BAD after the last Savage. He hasn't forgotten about that shot of Victoria Bitter!"
"He was just offering him a drink, Heather. I heard the bar they were at a few weeks ago didn't have any!"
Big D reaches the ring and does as Jackson did and carefully slides in, avoiding the bottom 'rope' of barbed wire. He then stands up and holds his belt above his head, not breaking eye contact with Noah.
I don't think I've ever seen Big D more focused than he is right now."
"And I don't believe I've ever seen Noah look more like a cunt."
Big D hands his Championship over to the ref, who holds it above his head. Both start jawing at one another as the ref shows them the Title. He takes it over and hands it to the time keeper, before calling for the bell.
DING! DING! DING!
Big D immediately charges at Noah Jackson, who quickly runs and slides out of the ring in one swift motion, narrowly avoiding the barbed wire. D throws his arms in the air as Noah laughs, flipping him off and starting a "cunt" chant.
[/red]"Noah is taunting Big D!"[/red]
"Rightfully so, D isn't gonna have as easy a time getting out as Noah did."
Big D puts his hands on his hips, obviously annoyed, as Noah turns his back to him and continues the chant. D shrugs and grabs the top rope of wire, grimacing from the pain. Nevertheless, he pulls back on it and slingshots himself(very sloppily) over it and to the outside. As Noah turns around, Big D's body comes crashing down into his as the fans cheer.
"I don't think the fans, or Noah, expected Big D to do THAT!"
" I certainly didn't expect it, either, Heather!"
Big D gets up quickly, revealing his bloody hands for the camera. He smiles like a madman before picking his opponent up and hitting a German Suplex that sends the back of Noah's head into the ring apron.
"Big D looks absolutely insane right now. Noah Jackson could have whiplash and D doesn't give a damn."
"He promised to punish the challenger! This match is violent already and the barbed wire hasn't even come into play yet."
As Noah Jackson crawls on his hands and knees, dazed and confused, Big D walks over and kicks him in the head. He then brings Noah to his feet before wrapping his arms around him and putting his back towards the ring. With as much force as he can manage, Big D hits a Belly to Belly Suplex that sends his opponent over his head and back first into the barbed wire, causing Noah to scream bloody murder.
"Well there you go, Heather. Just HAD to jinx poor Noah, huh?"
"Poor Noah is right, Pip, he is stuck hanging upside down in the barbed wire! "
Big D walks over to the barricade and gets a chair from one of the fans. He then walks over to the helpless Noah Jackson and nails him in the chest with a vicious chair shot. The force of the shot causes Noah's body to break free of the wire and crash into the apron. D gives the fan his chair back, which is now dented, before carefully sliding into the ring. Once in, he gets up and drags his opponent in, as well.
"FINALLY the match is INSIDE the ring! Though I can't say it might not have been safer on the outside in this one."
"Well, right now it looks like Big D is safe, inside OR out."
Big D grabs Noah by the hair and drags him over to the second rope of barbed wire. He tries to force his opponent's face into it, but Jackson fights back by putting his hands on the wire to hold himself in place. The TV Champion retaliates by delivering a knee shot to the challenger's back, followed by another. Despite the blows and bloody hands, Noah holds on, frustrating D, who runs to the opposite side(NOT touching the wire), before heading back towards his opponent. Big D charges at Noah and jumps at him, knee first, only for Jackson to roll out of the way. This causes D's knee to smash against the barbed wire, cutting up the part of his leg not covered by shorts.
"Big D's leg is bleeding after that failed knee strike! Noah may have bought himself a little bit of time."
Noah manages to fight his way up and walks over to D, who's already made it to a knee. The challenger reaches for the Champion, but is met with a right to the gut. Big D swings two more times, allowing him to get back to his feet as Noah grabs his stomach. D takes a step forward, only to be met with a thumb to the eye. As Big D backs up, Noah runs at him and attempts a Flying Clothesline, only to be caught by his opponent. D uses his strength to fling Noah into the air and catch him in Dan Slam position. Rather than attempting the move, though, Big D walks Noah over to the barbed wire ropes as the fans cheer. He goes to hit his finisher, but Noah wiggles out onto the apron and jumps down, pulling D's chest and under arms into the wire. The Champion screams as Noah begins his favorite chant, once again.
"Big D is lucky to be wearing a shirt to soften the blow."
"Pretty sure he CHOSE to wear that shirt, Heather, and I highly doubt it softened anything except maybe his penis."
"....................good one."
Noah notices the unfair advantage of his opponent wearing a shirt and quickly rolls in to fix it. Big D pulls himself out of the wire and turns around, only to be surprised with a kick to the groin followed up with a quick DDT that sends his face bouncing off the mat. Jackson pops up and yanks at D's white shirt(now stained with tiny blotches of blood), pulling it over his head and off.
"I don't feel comfortable with where this is going......."
"Get your mind out of the gutter, Pip!"
"I meant for brutality, Heather....... Maybe YOU need to get YOUR mind out of the gutter!
Noah grabs some excess wire and extends it away from the 'rope,' grinding it along Big D's back as he cries out in agony. The wounds instantly open up, as his back drips with crimson.
"This is already becoming too much to bear, Pip. All this for the TV Title?"
"It's about much more than that, Heather. I don't even think either man has the belt on their mind right now!
As Noah continues to grind mercilessly at Big D's back, the camera cuts to a concerned looking Ned Kaye backstage, who happens to be watching the match on a monitor. He grimaces at the sight of D's flesh being torn apart, covering his face with a towel at moments.
"Ned Kaye, looking on at the horror being done to his partner."
"He's watching his chances of winning the Tag Team Titles go right down the drain!"
"I think he's more concerned about the well being of his Tag Team partner, Pip."
"Hmmmm, doesn't sound like Ned."
We cut back to the match as Noah brings Big D to his feet and attempts to whip him to the opposite side. D manages to reverse it and sends Jackson, back first, into the barbed wire. He rests against the 'ropes' for a moment, wincing from the pain, before dropping to his knees and crashing to the mat. Big D rolls him onto his back, laying across for the match's first cover.
Noah Jackson manages to get a shoulder up, causing Big D to roll off him in disbelief. He wastes no time staying on his opponent, however, standing up and bring Noah with him. The Champion Irish Whips the challenger towards the barbed wire again, but is reversed. As Noah sends D for the wire, he does a Drop Toehold that causes him to trip and land, chest first, against the unforgiving substitute for ropes. Noah then carefully climbs outside the ring and begins pulling on Big D's arms, causing the razor wire to pierce deeper into his flesh. D hollers out in pain as Jackson mocks his screams.
"You gotta wonder if Big D is regretting choosing a Barbed Wire Match, at this point?"
"If he's not, I bet his skin is!"
Finally, Noah let's go, delivering a slap across Big D's face. D rolls off the wire and into the center of the ring as his opponent slides back in. Jackson then gets up and grabs an arm & leg of Big D, before sliding him over to the corner. Noah puts his back to his opponent, facing the turnbuckles, before jumping on the first barbed wire ropes, followed by the second. As he attempts the World's Greatest Moonsault by jumping up to the top, his foot slips out from under him and he falls backwards, crashing awkwardly to the mat.
"It looks like Big D's Fairy Godmother was looking out for him on that one, Pip!"
"And Noah's Fairy CUNTmother was not!"
Noah grabs the back of his head, writhing in pain, as Big D slowly rises to his feet. He limps over to his downed opponent and delivers a couple stomps to the head. D takes a moment to catch his breath before pointing to Noah, followed by the opposite side of the ring. He picks Noah up and whips him against the barbed wire but, rather than stick in it, he toughs it out and bounces off as if they were normal ropes! Big D is completely thrown off, as Noah sprints at him and nails a one-legged Dropkick square in D's jaw.
"That Crack the Shits just about took Big D's head off!"
On instinct alone, Big D escapes to the outside. D leans against the apron, trying to collect himself, while Noah teases a high risk maneuver. He runs towards his opponent, but instead of doing some incredible dice, Noah slowly and carefully leans on the barbed wire. Jackson takes an eternity to tumble over the top rope of wire and onto Big D. Unfortunately for Noah, the slow execution of his move allowed D enough time to recover and catch him in Dan Slam position.
"Noah's Death Defying Leap was anything BUT death defying."
"This doesn't look good for Noah at all!"
Big D whips Noah around and brings his arm down onto his chest for a Dan Slam on the floor.
"What a Dan Slam!"
[white]"All he's gotta do is get him back in the ring and it's over."
Big D hoists his opponent high above his head and throws him over the top rope of wire into the ring. Noah uses the momentum from D's toss to roll all the way to the other side and to the outside. Big D looks stunned, before throwing his arms in the air and saying "What the fuck?"
"Did that REALLY just happen?"
"Yes, Heather, it certainly did. Noah seems to be a resourceful little cunt, huh?"
As Big D walks around the ring over to his opponent, we see from a different camera angle that Noah has rolled under the ring. D doesn't realize this until he finally makes it to that side and sees no-one there. He sighs and shakes his head, before looking under the ring skirt. By this point, Noah's crawled his way back out from the other side and stood up. Big D pops back out from under the ring and sees Noah on the other side, who gives D the middle finger before sliding into the ring. D does the same.
"It's like a bloody game of Cat & Mouse!"
Both men get up and meet each other in the center of the ring, where they trade unblocked rights with one another. Noah finally ducks one and tries to Irish Whip Big D at the wire ropes, only to get reversed. Noah stood himself before the wire, causing D to run at him. Jackson attempts a Drop Toehold Hold, but his opponent jumps over his legs and brings him to his feet with my powerful swoop. Big D attempts a Scoop Slam, but Noah slips out behind D and nails him with a Superman Punch to the back of the head that drops the Champion.
"Noah's landed the King Hit! This match could be over right here!"
"Jackson with the cover, we could have a new Champion!"
"Big D just barely kicks out of that one. He's gotta be holding on by a thread."
"Blows to the back of the head are THE most dangerous, Heather. Another one of those and Big D could suffer permanent brain damage.
Noah gets up and backs himself towards the corner, waiting for his opponent. Big D slowly crawls to his knees, as Noah charges forward for a Crack the Shits. D manages to move his head out of the way and catches Noah, who looks completely shocked by this. Big D pops Jackson into Dan Slam position, but Noah delivers a thumb to the eye that sends D staggering. Noah slips behind his opponent and delivers a Dropkick to D's back that sends him face first into the wire.
"Big D's face looks like a fountain of blood after that!"
"If he's not careful, he could EASILY lose an eye here!"
You can tell Big D's not with it as Noah let's him stumble to his feet. Unaware of where he is, the Champion easily succumbs to a Crack the Shits Dropkick that sends him into the barbed wire AGAIN. D tries to get out, but the wire is deep in his skin and he's entwined in it. All of his efforts to escape are for naught and when Noah sees this, he starts a "Cunt" chant.
"Big D is in HUGE trouble here, Pip!"
"That he is. And it isn't like a regular match where the ref can just let him out of the ropes."
After having enough of his fun, Noah struts on over to his helpless opponent and nails him with a King Hit that knocks Big D out.l instantly. He then does another one, followed by a third; chanting "Cunt" with each one. He stops this, only to grab some excess barbed wire, which he lines up near the back of D's.
"Oh my God, what is he thinking?"
"I don't think he is....."
Noah delivers a right to Big D's skull, barbed wire colliding between it and the challenger's fist. Blood flies from D's head and Jackson's fist, but that doesn't stop him from throwing a second and a third.
"Somebody PLEASE stop this!"
"Noah had Big D beat three punches ago. He's just toying with him now."
As Noah winds up for another one, the fans begin to cheer as Ned Kaye sprints down the aisle and over towards Big D. Jackson gets on the defensive, but Ned is more concerned about his partner. Noah laughs and points, as Ned glares at him. With much reluctance, Ned Kaye takes the towel from around his neck and tosses it into the ring on D's behalf to a gasp from the crowd. The ref acknowledges it and calls for the bell.
Winner: Noah Jackson(via TKO) NEW TV CHAMPION
As Noah takes his Championship and celebrates, the ref and Ned carefully free Big D from the clutches of the wire. They each put one of D's arms around them and help him up the aisle. Noah points at them and yells "cunt", causing Ned to flip him off. The new Champion simply laughs before going back to celebrating as they make their way to the back.
A solitary spotlight appears on the left hand stage of the entrance way illuminating a Hall of Legends podium that until now no one knew was there. It's not long before James Raven appears.
Raven steps to the microphone to the delight of the crowd.
[color=#1E90FF]JAMES RAVEN: A few months ago at the XWF Reunion show XX the Hall of Legends was restored and with it we inducted the first member of the modern era, John Madison. That induction was followed up by another member of The Kings, John Samuels and so it is only fitting on the 6 year anniversary of his stunning victory over John Madison to win the King of the XWF title that we induct none other than...
JAMES RAVEN: And to do that is none other than our first and second modern era inductee and Theo's fellow Kings™ John Madison and John Samuels.
The Kings’ duo of ‘The Johns’—Samuels and Madison make their way to the stage to a mixed reaction. Madison taunts the crowd, wiping away fake tears while Samuels shakes his head and blows them kisses as they grab microphones.
Madison:”Look! A wild jiggaboo appears. I think my Pokédex is finished now.”
Samuels:”Already with the jokes? Suck my dick, Maddy.”
Madison:”You sound like my drunk uncle at Thanksgiving. I don’t do dark meat, sorry sweetheart.”
Samuels:”Gee, John Madison losing sight of what we’re here for. I am shocked.”
Madison:”Gee, John Samuels actually showing up to a gig. I’m actually shocked.”
Samuels:” You hurtful bitch. Look, we have a job to do here: Let all these ungrateful fucks here know that they are in the presence of greatness. And for once, I’m not talking about myself.
Theo Pryce. What’s there to say really? This is a man who came in to the XWF at a time where the summit was unreachable. There were titans stepping on the necks of the lowly...And he climbed right into their ranks and never left. When I returned from my well deserved hiatus from carrying this company on my back, only to see some milquetoast, accountant looking motherfucker with a mean streak about as savage a Mogwai had taken down John Madison? After I stopped violently vomiting from laughing so hard—“
Madison:“FUCK YOU! I was out late partying with Peter the night before.”
Samuels:”Yeah, I’m sure. Anyways, I had to size this guy up for myself. I was sure as hell this guy was nowhere near as good as either Madison or myself...But I was wrong. He didn’t need a mean streak, an intimidating look or a cool catchphrase. He dominated in a way that I had never seen before, he won the mental game before his opponents even knew they were playing. The physical shit was merely a formality for him. He was a dominant competitor, I came to learn, and eventually he would become a great friend.
For all the bravado and bullshit you hear coming out of the mouths of the revolving door of talent this place has, I can guarantee you there has not been a singularly more important person to the XWF than Theo Pryce. He arrived when the XWF needed him most, and he kept this whole fucking thing upright while the talent level resembled a stripclub in Gary, Indiana.
This man’s legacy can not be understated; The XWF wouldn’t be what it was today—arguably it wouldn’t be here at all—without him. From having one of the greatest singles careers in history, to leading the two greatest stables in XWF history, and now running the show from behind the scenes, Theo Pryce is going to be forever enshrined as one of the greatest to ever do it. And I’m proud to call this man my friend. Ladies and gentlemen, show this man the fucking respect he deserves.”
The crowd erupts as Theo Pryce walks out from behind the curtain and onto the stage next to John Madison and John Samuels. He shakes both men's hands and then takes his place between them at the podium.
Theo Pryce: You know I was going to come out here and regale you with tales of my awesomeness but between Raven reminding you of the significance of this event and what Samuels just said anything I say would feel like overkill so instead I'll call an audible and instead of telling you all how great I am I am going to tell you about how great YOU CAN BE.
I know there are a lot of people who see my laundry list of accomplishments both in the XWF and outside of the XWF and they reduce it down to the fact that I was born on 3rd base. And they would be absolutely right. I was born into an obscene amount of wealth. And as luck would have it, my mother was a whore who cheated on the asshole who raised me with the man who also fathered my half brother Sebastian Duke and so wrestling was very much in my genes. I have absolutely benefited from winning the birth lottery but all that afforded me was opportunities. I still had to make the most of those opportunities and I did. Every. Single. One. Of. Them.
I took my father's company from profits in the millions to profits in the billions. And then parlayed that money into several other successful business ventures. I took the opportunity the XWF gave me as a guy with zero wrestling training and in two months because the face of the franchise by beating the unbeatable John Madison. I did all those things because I wanted to.
Yes opportunities were more readily available to me than they are to the average person I would be a liar to deny it but those opportunities CAN BE available to you too. You will no doubt have to work longer and harder to get them but you will get them and then once you do do absolutely everything in your power to own those opportunities. Beg, borrow, cheat, steal, lie, do whatever it takes. What good is being morally superior if you are broke with no legacy? The world is run by winners...like me. Go out and seize your opportunities or, die with no one ever knowing your name, the choice is yours. But let my story be a lesson to you that anything you want can be yours if YOU WANT IT bad enough.
The theme song of The Kings(tms) plays as Theo Pryce, John Samuels and John Madison leave the podium and disappear backstage.
Lethal Lottery Finals
Fuzz
- vs -
The Big Shank Standard One Fall
Savage Rules
Fuzz stretches in his corner as The Big Shank kneels down in his, a bandage around his forehead.
HHL: "This is it, in the past, the Lethal Lottery finals have been one of the biggest matches in XWF history. Let's see what Big Shank and Fuzz can do."
PC: "I'm just trying to think what they could call their pay-per-views. Fuzz-o-Mania? SummerShank?"
HHL: "Pay-per-view's in January or February, hun."
PC: "Ah... Shankuary or ... Fuzzuary?"
HHL: "Stick to commentating, Pip."
PC: "If Thunder Knuckles was in and won this he would have named it Thunderball."
HHL: "I think it's more likely he would have sold it."
DING! DING! DING!
Both men hesitate as they leave their corners and meet in the center of the ring. They share a quick exchange of words until Shank shows Fuzz a hand, the Xtreme champ nods to himself before accepting the handshake to applause from the crowd. The two separate and circle, before tying up in the center of the ring. Shank gets the early advantage, whipping the champ into the corner. He goes for a splash but Fuzz ducks out of the way. He grabs Shank and throws him behind him with a German suplex. Shank rolls to his feet and stares at Fuzz who smiles again, a big white-toothed smile with a wink.
Shank doesn't have long to process it, however, as Fuzz charges, going for a clothesline but this time the veteran ducks, tripping Shank who stumbles torso first into the ropes, bouncing off and holding his chest. Fuzz grabs him and hits a back body drop. He stares a hole through the downed competitor as the crowd roars.
Shank rolls towards the ropes but the champ stays on the offensive. He grabs Shank, lifting him up and whipping him into the ropes again, this time going for a spear off the rebound. Shank gets a knee up, however, wobbling Fuzz, before going for the Chop Block to take The Afterthoughts knee out. Fuzz goes to one knee and Shank comes off the ropes with a shoulder block to take him down fully.
TBS pops up and lifts Fuzz up by the hair. He hits a snap mare into a butterfly lock in a perfectly executed submission maneuver. After some struggle in the ring, Fuzz is able to break the hold and slide behind Shank, up a back elbow from the big man stumbles the Xtreme champ back just enough.....
Shank charges but Fuzz catches him........BACK BODY DROP OUT OF NOWHERE!
Fuzz is so quick with it, and Shank is down again.
Fuzz thumbs his noes and lifts Shank up by his head. A knee to the gut, and he whips Shank shoulder first into the middle turnbuckle post. The Big Shank crashes with a sickening thud.
He pulls Shank out from the turnbuckle and sets up a Massive DDT in the middle of the ring.
CONNECTS
Shank is out and Fuzz takes advantage with a tight cover.
1
...
2
KICKOUT!
Shank shoves Fuzz away and turns to his front, slapping the mat and getting up in anger. Fuzz goes for a strike but Shank throws the arm away and spins Fuzz around, dropping the Xtreme Champion with a beautiful German Suplex! Fuzz lands hard on the back of his neck but Shank keeps his arms locked around Fuzz's waist as he stands back, dragging Fuzz with him as he hurls his opponent so far Fuzz almost sees the curvature of the Earth before crashing down on the opposite side of the ring. Fuzz pushes himself up briefly before collapsing back down to the canvas; Shank gets to his feet and sprints forward almost taking Fuzz's head clean off with a mighty punt kick!
HHL: "Damn! This match got serious fast!"
PC: "There's a lot at stake here, Heather."
Fuzz dazed and confused does however have the wherewithal to get out of the ring, rolling under the ring and slamming on the outside. The ref begins the 10 count as Shank wraps his hands around the top rope and takes a breather.
1
2
3
4
5
Fuzz finally begins to stir.
6
He reaches a hand on the apron to get himself up.
7
But Shank stomps down on Fuzz's fingers and boots Fuzz away from the ring.
8
Fuzz's back hits the commentator's booth and he growls charging forward again.
9
Fuzz sprints to the ring but Shank blocks his path!
But with quick thinking and speed, Fuzz fakes out Shank and slides into the ring just before the 10 count!
PC: "Man, that was close, imagine this ending on a count-out? That'd be lame as fuck."
Shank rushes Fuzz but The Afterthought manages to get in a quick throat chop to halt The Big Shank and follows up with a ma monstrous headbutt! Shank drops to the mat as the pool of blood under his bandage slowly grows. Fuzz shakes the cobwebs and grabs Shank's leg, trying to move him over into a sharpshooter! But Shank quickly flails and kicks Fuzz into the corner; TBS scrambles to his feet and charges into corner knocking Fuzz further between the turnbuckles, Shank stands back and steps up onto the second turnbuckle and raises his fist beginning a flurry of blows with the crowd chanting along.
ONE
TWO
THREE
FOUR
FIVE
SIX
SEVEN
EIGHT
NINE!
Shank stops the attack to build hype which is his downfall as Fuzz lifts Shank away from the corner in a powerbomb position. Shank wobbles but carries on a quick succession of punches, Fuzz's legs go shaky but he spins around and sends Shank crashing into the turnbuckles! Fuzz almost falls over, stumbling a few feet back before shaking his head and charging the corner nailing Shank in the face with a big boot!
Shank's eyes close as his body goes limp in the corner. Fuzz catches his breath, his arms hung over the top ropes. Fuzz grabs Shank's legs and pulls him away from the corner and into the center of the ring before going for the pin.
1
2
THR-NO! Shank just kicks out!
Blood falls down under the bandage and covers Shank's face as Fuzz kneels up trying to hide the anger. Fuzz gets to his feet watching Shank crawl towards the ropes, Fuzz breathes heavily as he gives a few taunting kicks to Shank's side. Fuzz grabs the back of Shank's neck and begins to lift him up, Fuzz turns Shank around and locks him in a hold.
HHL: "THE AFTERTHOUGHT!"
Fuzz looking to end it!
PC: "COUNTER!"
As Fuzz tries to turn Shank, TBS grabs his opponent's knee and stops the attack dead before lifting Fuzz and dropping him with a Samoan drop! Shank lays still on the mat as Fuzz reels in agony. Shank turns to his front and pushes himself up to his feet as Fuzz uses the ropes to lift himself up and the two meet again, another loud exchange of words leads into the two trading brutal forearms against one another!
The two trying to decimate each other!
Shank's face is covered in blood as Fuzz's nose is busted open by Shank's elbow.
Blood and spit flying with each hit!
Fuzz over-extends and Shank takes advantage with a mean right hook!
Then follows up with a left!
Fuzz falls against the rope and Shank ends the exchange with a hellacious haymaker! Fuzz's upper body leans back over the top rope and he falls back into the waiting arms of Shank!
PC: "DEATH VALLEY DRIVER!"
HHL: "This is what sealed Shank the win previously!"
Shank falls into a cover and the ref slides in.
1
2
THRE-NOOO!!!
Fuzz barely throwing an elbow up!
The crowd pop huge.
Shank rolls off Fuzz, giving a laugh out of shock. Fuzz turns to his front, thick blood dripping from the tip of his nose and hitting the mat. Shank clears his vision and gets to his feet with some trouble and lunges at Fuzz and the two get into a clinch, Shank pushing Fuzz with ease until a slight lift of a knee low blows The Big Shank! Before Shank can even react Fuzz drops him!!!
PC: "THE AFTERTHOUGHT!!!"
Fuzz manages to hit his finisher!
He covers!!!
The ref counts!
1
HHL: "Shank's not moving!"
2
PC: "We have a winner!"
THRE-NO!
Fuzz is in awe as the crowd go nuts.
HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
Fuzz is on his knees staring daggers at the ref, arguing the count.
HHL: "I don't know if anyone's kicked out of The Afterthought! This is crazy!"
PC: "Shank's not going without a fight! Not until he's dead anyway."
Fuzz slams the mat in rage and grabs Shanks' hair, throwing him into the corner. Fuzz clutches his ribs as he moves over to Shank and throws a heavy right into his stomach, winding Shank. Fuzz follows up with a slow but powerful chop thrust which throws Shank's head up. Fuzz is fading, his movement appearing almost drunk as he stares at Shank's bloody mush. The Xtreme Champion growls in anger simply wrapping his hands around Shank's throat and trying to strangle the life out of him! The ref quickly intervenes and pulls Fuzz away who shoves the ref to continue his assault but is blinded as Shank spits blood, and possibly a tooth, into Fuzz's face.
Fuzz winces, wiping the viscera from his eye and Shank takes advantage placing both hands around the back of Fuzz's neck and throwing a knee into his face. Fuzz drops to a knee but Shank doesn't relent until he feels Fuzz's body go limp. Shank leans back against the corner, keeping Fuzz in a headlock and slowly moves up the turnbuckles!
The crowd stand to their feet in anticipation, flashes from cameras fill the arena as Shank takes Fuzz to the top turnbuckle looking for a superplex to the outside!
HHL: "No way."
Shank lifts!
But almost falls himself as Fuzz kicks his feet and regains control! He plants both feet on the ropes and throws his knuckles into Shank's temple! The two teeter but Shank keeps the headlock tight. Fuzz tries desperately in an outrage throwing every limb he can at Shank to break the hold!
Until finally...
Fuzz is free!
He gives a swift knee to Shank's gut!
AND!
THE AFTERTHOUGHT!!!
FROM THE TOP FUCKING ROPE!!!
The pair crash to the canvas to a massive pop from the crowd.
As they land, Fuzz's hand lands on Shank's chest! The ref slides in for the count!
1
2
3!!
Winner of LETHAL LOTTERY V - Fuzz
'HOLY SHIT HE DID IT!! Fuzz is the winner of Lethal Lottery V.'
"Pretty incredible when you think about it."
Immediately following the match, Fuzz is in the ring leaning up against the ropes as the lights dim. Fuzz looks around in confusion, then the realization hits him, as he gets a slight smile on his face.
"Looks like Vinnie Lane is going to congratulate Fuzz on his victory."
"Call me a pessimist H but I don't think that's why Vinnie is here."
“I WANNA ROCK!” Blares through the PA system. Vinny Lane walks from the back in a cocky strut much to the glee of the crowd. He’s carrying a briefcase in one hand while waving at the fans with the other, and then locks eyes with Fuzz. Lane pulls out a microphone from him trunks and waves for the crowd to quiet down.
"Ahh Fuzz, look at you. Broken and battered. Well you asked for this…"
Lane holds up the briefcase.
"Well it’s just too bad that you won’t earn it tonight. Your mouth has written you a check that cannot possibly cash. So right here, right now. You want this Briefcase… you gotta go through me first!"
Lane drops the mic and fakes sliding into the ring. He shakes a finger at Fuzz, and quickly begins digging under the ring. He pulls out a chair and slides it under the bottom rope, followed quickly by himself.
"Ring the bell!"
*Ding Ding*
Lane rushes at Fuzz, and smacks him right in the temple with the briefcase. Fuzz never stood a chance to even get a hand up to divert the blow. Fuzz crumbles like a ton of bricks. Lane slaps Fuzz in the back of the head, Fuzz lays there motionless. Lane panders to the crowd, before finally covering Fuzz.
1…
2….
2 ¾……
Fuzz’s arm shoots up. Lane jumps up out of frustration, grabbing the chair and slamming it against Fuzz.
Over…
And Over
And Over…
“QUIT HITTING MY DAD YOU CUNT!!!”
Noah runs from the back screaming so loudly that all the microphones in the building pick it up. Noah slides into the ring and shoves Lane away from Fuzz.
"You want to take that away from him fine just stop!"
Lane slowly backs away from. Noah who is now leaning over Fuzz. Lane turns his back and begins to celebrate on the turnbuckle. Fuzz reaches up and pulls Noah down to him.
Fuzz: N-N—-Now….
Noah quickly yanks Fuzz up to his feet as both men are standing right behind the oblivious Lane still celebrating. Fuzz stands right behind Lane, blood trickling down his face from the earlier shot. Fuzz begins to scream for Lane to turn around. Lane leaps off of the middle rope turning in mid air, only to be caught by Fuzz who launches him right into the waiting Noah.
SO SICK!
SO SICK!
Lane crumbles to the mat, as both Fuzz and Noah lay on top of Lane.
1!
2!!
3!!!!!
Winner and STILL XWF X-Treme Champion - Fuzz
Fuzz and Noah leap up and begin to frantically celebrate in the middle of the ring. Lane is slowly coming to, as Fuzz leans over him.
FUZZ: Well that didn’t work out….
Fuzz quickly grabs the briefcase as Noah and Fuzz quickly vacate the ring. Fuzz holding up the briefcase and blowing kisses to Lane in the ring, who is kicking the ropes out of pure frustration and anger.
Vinnie grabs the official by the lapels and screams in his face, his voice crackling with anger.
"Who the hell hired you??? I've never seen you before today! What are you, twelve years old? YOU'RE FRIGGIN' FIRED, MAN!"
The crowd boos as the young referee sadly takes off his referee shirt and mopes his way out of the ring. Poor guy. It's hard to get a job these days!
Just as we are about to get to the Universal Title match between Unknown Soldier and Lux the crowd erupts as CHRIS PAGE hurls SHANE out through a tunnel that leads to the floor section of the Stadium! As PAGE walks out, blood soaking the entire front of his body the crowd erupts. CHRIS points at who is getting back to his feet as he’s just as blood soaked as PAGE. The two stares off as CHRIS raises his right hand extending SHANE his middle finger which draws the same response from to CHRIS PAGE!
HHL: Hold up we’re not going anywhere because this war between and PAGE that started this broadcast is apparently going to close it out as well!
Liberty Stadium completely erupts as and PAGE break out into throwing right hands on the field of Liberty Stadium! The intense exchange ends when thumbs PAGE in the eye and follows it with a double thrust to the throat of PAGE that garners loud boos from the fans as flips them off while snatching PAGE by the hair on the top of his head and leads him through the fans and towards the ringside barrier. snatches a crutch from one of the fans and cracks PAGE in the ribs doubling him over where he’s whacked across the back denting the crutch as tosses it to the side before picking PAGE up where he hurls him over the security barrier and back to ringside.
PC: I’ll be damned…. They made it back to ringside!
SHANE climbs over the security barrier where he taunts the massive crowd to extremely loud boos from the crowd! The boos break out into a “FUCK YOU ! FUCK YOU ! FUCK YOU !” chant that echoes from all over the stadium. SHANE soaks it all in before turning his attention back towards PAGE where he picks him up off the floor and sends him back into the ring under the bottom rope. SHANE drops down to one knee where he looks under the ring apron and pulls out a pair of scissors! holds them up for all to see as he rolls into the ring. PAGE rolls over to his stomach for several seconds, he lay on his hands before rolling back over on to his back as slides into the ring.
HHL: might be trying to take a little more of the hair of PAGE!
SHANE walks over to CHRIS where he reaches down to pick him up only to have powder thrown in his eyes from PAGE! The sold out crowd pops as SHANE’s been blinded again! CHRIS PAGE rolls over pushing himself up off the mat and back to a vertical base and while swings at the air he drops the scissors in the ring before walking into a Spinbuster Slam from CHRIS PAGE that brings a massive roar from the crowd which only gets louder as CHRIS grabs the scissors and proceeds to take a little bit off the top of ’s head!
PC: PAGE is cutting the luscious locks of SHANE ! This is completely uncalled for!
PAGE throws a wad of ’s hair up in the air drawing a huge reaction from the crowd!
HHL: Are you really playing that card when ’s cut CHRIS’s hair TWICE! Get outta here!
CHRIS tosses the scissors to the mat as he reaches a vertical base and calls for the PAGE PLANT! Could we see the exclamation point finally tacked on and this war come to a close as CHRIS reaches down and boots in the midsection.
Wait, what was that was just shouting into the distance???
"SUCK MY LIFELINE!!!"
Suddenly the crowd erupts with LOUD boos when PETER GILMOUR hits the ring just as CHRIS double under hooks the arms of where he blind sides PAGE from behind!
PC: I never thought I’d ever say thank you PETER GILMOUR! What a great choice for a Lifeline!
PAGE drops and spins around into a GILMOUR CUTTER!!! The crowd is stunned with what is unfolding as GILMOUR rolls PAGE over on to his back before yanking over on top of CHRIS before demanding the official that’s been following these two men all night execute the count! The referee reluctantly drops down into position.
“ONE!!!!!”
“TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“THRE…………………”
The crowd explodes as CHRIS PAGE pops a shoulder up off the mat at the very last second! GILMOUR drops to his knee’s pulling his hair on the side of his head with both hands. GILMOUR shakes his head before standing up to a vertical base as he reaches down and helps to his feet. SHANE motions for GILMOUR to hold CHRIS and with a head nod GILMOUR reaches down picking PAGE up off the mat where he holds him from behind by both arms. The crowd roars with massive boos as staggers forward slapping PAGE across the face garnering louder boos from the crowd.
HHL: I’m shocked it has gotten this far without someone sticking their nose into this affair.
SHANE slaps CHRIS across the face a second time before starting to unload with vicious and vile right hands to the unprotected head of CHRIS PAGE as PETER GILMOUR doesn’t release his grasp.
The fans pop as BIG D hits the ring light a lightening bolt! GILMOUR throws PAGE down to the mat as BID D slides into the ring ducking under a clothesline from GILMOUR and its BIG D who takes down with a clothesline of his own! GILMOUR charges towards BIG D where he eats a Spin buster for his troubles as the crowd responds with a huge ovation from the crowd!!
HHL: BIG D has come to the aid of CHRIS PAGE! Is THIS this pair of eyes watching his back he referred too?!?
BIG D mounts GILMOUR and starts hammering down with right hands to GILMOUR’s skull which allows to come up from behind gouging the eyes of BIG D! SHANE yells right at BIG D...
"You Big Dummy! Just wait until I get to the toilet!"
GILMOUR works his way back to his feet where he now takes a hold of BIG D by the arms exposing him to an onslaught of right hands from SHANE !
PC: BIG D is going to wish he never thought about getting involved in this combustible situation!!
The crowd responds as CHRIS PAGE starts to work his way back to his feet where he comes up behind catches his arm as he rears back and spins him around into a sicken headbut to the face that echoes throughout the stadium causing SHANE to crumble like dead weight while we see BIG D mule kick GILMOUR in the nuts breaking his grasp and sending PETER to the mat. BIG D and CHRIS PAGE lock eyes with their fists clinched at there sides when they nod their heads and fist bump in the ring before pairing off as PAGE stomps away at while BIG D stomps away at PETER GILMOUR to a huge ovation from the crowd!!
HHL: BIG D IS FIGHTING WITH CHRIS PAGE!
CHRIS reaches down picking up off the mat where he positions him for the PAGE PLANT! CHRIS under hooks the arms of when a figure hops the ringside railing in all black tactical gear including a black helmet that covers his face with a lead pipe in hand! Across the figures back is an embroidered logo that simply reads: HG
”WHO THE HELL IS THIS!?!
The figure blasts PAGE across the back before he can peal off the PAGE PLANT to massive boos from the crowd, then turns and catches BIG D with a shot to the ribs that doubles him over before whacking him across the back which sends BIG D down to the mat.
PC: I RECOGNIZE THAT RING GEAR! THE HIRED GUN!! THAT’S SHANE ’S HIRED GUN! What a coup for !
HHL: Haven't we just seen an endless slew of SHANE's hired guns tonight though?
PC: No, this is literally "THE HIRED GUN" and we never know who's under the mask! Rumors are there have been dozens to play the role over the years. The first HIRED GUN was seen back in the early 2000's in 's old company, the CCWF. All we know is whenever THE HIRED GUN shows up anywhere, it has something to do with SHANE .
With both PAGE and BIG D down in the ring the HIRED GUN’s first instinct is to pull up to his feet and take him back into a corner where he props him against the buckles before turning his attention towards GILMOUR and he goes over helping him up off the mat and to his feet where he motions for GILMOUR to start doing damage. GILMOUR starts stomping away at BIG D while the HIRED GUN starts working over PAGE while the mastermind behind this recover in the corner.
HHL: It’s not a numbers game at this point. THE TRISTAN SLATER was carried out earlier tonight and there’s nobody left for PAGE to call on. This is about to get even more vile and vicious.
comes out of the corner where he motions for GILMOIUR and the HIRED GUN to hold BIG D in place so he is forced to watch what unfolds next. The HIRED GUN and GILMOUR hold BIG D on his knee’s with each man taking an arm and a handful of hair forcing BIG D to watch as SHANE reaches down picking CHRIS PAGE up off the mat where he positions CHRIS for CCP’s own finishing move, the PAGE PLANT. SHANE under hooks the arms of PAGE when suddenly the lights go out all over the Stadium!
PC: Wait just a minute!
The crowd is loud as they’re screaming and yelling amidst the black out as flashes from cell phones attempt to light up the stadium….
The ovation from the crowd is so loud upon the chords hitting the speakers!
PC: NO WAY!
The lights pop back up to reveal ROBERT “THE OMEGA” MAIN standing at the top of the ramp with both fists heavily taped as he’s in black cargo pants and a black wife beater tank top. The ovation is so loud you can hardly hear yourself think which breaks out into a thunderous chant of “MAIN! MAIN! MAIN! MAIN!” while in the ring SHANE looks like he’s seen a ghost!
HHL: ROBERT MAIN HAS JUST WALKED BACK ON TO THE SCENE IN THE XWF!
: Mother fucker!!!!
MAIN starts to make the walk towards the ring as we see toss PAGE down to the mat while dispatching GILMOUR to meet MAIN at ringside! GILMOUR slides out to the floor and swings at MAIN only to see it blocked and countered with a right hand followed by a Superkick to the jaw sending PETER to the floor while in the ring BIG D tackles the HIRED GUN through the ropes spilling out to the floor where their fight ensues. ROBERT MAIN climbs up on the ring apron as he stares directly at SHANE before stepping into the ring.
PC: ROBERT MAIN hasn’t been seen nor heard from since RELENTLESS but tonight he is standing in the ring across from one of the men that robbed him of the longest Universal Title reigns of all time!
BIG D sends the HIRED GUN over the barrier and into the crowd while GILMOUR has made it back to his feet where he slides into the ring behind MAIN while SHANE has him distracted! Suddenly is spun around by PAGE who drives a boot to the midsection of doubling him over! MAIN spins around as GILMOUR approaches where he hoists GILMOUR up in the air!
CHRIS under hooks the arms of who is freaking the fuck out...
"DON'T YOU DARE! AAAH! FUCK YOU PAAAAAGE!!!!!"
CHRIS looks over at ROBERT MAIN where they make eye contact before simultaneously we see PAGE deliver the PAGE PLANT to SHANE while ROBERT MAIN delivers the DEAD MAN’S HAND to PETER GILMOUR! Liberty Stadium is on fire as a dark, putrid puddle starts to collect under SHANE's lower body and BIG D slides back into the ring in a neutral corner as both PAGE and MAIN get back to their feet where another stare down between the two men takes place. The crowd continues to roar as MAIN and PAGE go face to face before they bump fists to the loudest ovation of the night while being joined by BIG D!
BIG D, ROBERT MAIN and CHRIS PAGE raise their arms in the air as pyro begins to explode above the ring because on this night someone finally stuck it to SHANE !! MAIN and BIG D help PAGE out of the ring as they leave SHANE and PETER GILMOUR to lick their wounds and fight another day. MAIN, BIG D and CHRIS PAGE reach the top of the ramp where they turn back towards the ring before CHRIS wipes his hands together. CHRIS exchanges a fist bump with MAIN and BIG D as the Lethal Lottery leaves the air.
MAIN EVENT
FOR THE XWF UNIVERSAL CHAMPIONSHIP
The lights dim and all the screens in the arena become a wall of green code. As the opening scream of “We Appreciate Power” is heard, the code starts to slowly twist and bend into the outline of a woman's face, interspersed with shots of Lux in action ruining people's shit with brutal kicks and strikes. Lux appears at the top of the ramp, looking determined and ignoring the crowd. She runs into the ring, sliding under the bottom rope and rolling to her feet like a little goddamn ninja. The lights all turn back on and she's mean mugging her opponent or staring up the ramp and waiting for them.
"Hail Satan" by Crucifyre blares over the Xtron system"
Unknown Soldier prays to SATAN! in the middle of the ring while a red pentagram traces him from above in the rafters. The red disco lights tracing the pentagram around Soldier continues to encircle him constantly in a counter clockwise motion. While standing in the center of this pentagram of glowing lights, he kneels and touches both his shoulders and forehead as a sign of the Unholy trinity. In the name of the Liar, the Sinner, and the great father and lord of all that is Evil! Soldier then gets up and strokes his penis exactly 666 times getting faster and faster as the lights around him speed up in pace as well. He always wrestles with a full on raging erection for not only the increase in testosterone, but also as a scare tactic to the heterosexual male(s) or prude female bitch(es) he may be wrestling at the time.
We have arrived at the main event of the evening for the UNIVERSAL CHAMPIONSHIP!
And it tops off one of the most insane feuds in recent memory. There's been murder, cultists, and Lux herself has promised to not just end Unknown Soldier's reign but KILL him here tonight!
But Soldier's been unusually quiet in the lead up to this match, making it seem like the challenger could have the advantage.
The bell rings and Lux goes right for Soldier! The camera almost missed it she lunges so fast, but she immediately starts tearing into the champion with a series of brutal kicks!
Oh, wow!
Soldier is backed up into the corner, and he is finally able to shift the momentum by grabbing some of Lux's hair and dragging her head right into the turnbuckle! Lux stumbles back and follows it up with a spinning heel kick! Lux eats most of it and goes down.
Soldier paces the ring around her, measuring her and plating a kiss on his pentagram medallion for good luck. Lux pops up but Soldier goes for a drop kick. Lux swats him out of the way but the champ kips up, blocking a chop from Lux and reversing with an uppercut. Lux fires back with a roundhouse kick to the champ's side, followed by a leg sweep into a standing shooting star press!
Hoping off the champion, Lux goes t the corner and starts removing a turnbuckle pad!
Some pretty uncharacteristic behavior from the challenger here, she wants to hurt him bad!
Well, he kind of killed her friend. I think a headache for the champion is small potatoes.
Soldier gets up and Lux wastes no time irish whipping him into the exposed buckle! Soldier hits hard and bounces out of the corner right into a waiting boot to the chest from Lux! Soldier goes down and Lux gets on him in an instant, mounting him and lighting him up with closed fist shots!
Soldier tries to duck and cover, and eventually counters by throwing Lux off him and through the ropes. Lux rolls to the outside and the ref beckons her back in. But Soldier takes hold of the top rope and throws himself over, splashing Lux on the outside!
The ref starts counting them both down!
1....
2....
Soldier and Lux recover about the same time, but the champ hits a quick chop to the challenger, followed by a scoop slam. Soldier then picks Lux up cradle style and tries to run her into the ring post...but Lux squirms out and shoves the champion into the pole instead! Soldier's head CLANGS off the post!
3....
4....
5.....
Lux rolls into the ring to break the count before rolling back out again. She grabs a helping of Soldier's hair and head butts him in the nose! Then, she tosses him over to the announce position.
Getting a little close for comfort!
Lux snags one of the monitors off the desk and domes Soldier with it, busting him open!
Ugh gross, I think I just got some of the champions blood in my mouth!
You're gonna wanna get tested....
The ref is still counting them both down.
1....
2.....
3.....
4......
Lux positions the bleeding Soldier on the announce desk. Seeing this, both Heather and Pip bail!
Oh crap, my favorite coffee mug!
Lux grabs the coffee mug and smashes it over Soldier's already bloody forehead!
IT WAS AN HEIRLOOM!
5....
6....
Lux gets on top of the desk and forces Soldier up. She kicks Soldier in the gut and positions him powerbomb style....BUT SOLDIER BACK BODY DROPS HER ALL THE WAY TO THE FLOOR! Lux gasps in pain and arches her back! Soldier, hearing the count, runs back into the ring, and then steps out into the ring apron! He takes flight off the apron into a frog splash, crashing down on Lux's ribs! The crowd “ooooohs!”!
The champ isn't done. Wiping some of the blood off his face, he hoists Lux up and drills her back down to the mat with a slam before reaching over the crowd control barricade for a folding chair! The ref abandons his count and leaves the ring, where he tries to grab the chair from Soldier! Soldier pulls back on the chair, arguing with the ref. Lux staggers to her feet behind Soldier, grabs theback of his head and drags him back down with a reverse sit out face buster! But the ref never let go of the chair, and he gets pulled down as well, smashing his face on the chair and knocking himself out!
I think we're safe for now....
I don't know about that. White stripes there just knocked himself out. Law and order has gone by the wayside!
Lux notices the ref is unconscious. She picks up the chair as Soldier pushes himself up to a kneeling position, only to be met with a sickening chair shot from Lux! Soldier slumps over again! Lux lifts the chair up high one more time, and brings it crashing down on Soldier! The chair is damn near bent in half from the force of the blows, so she goes to the barricade where a fan hands her another chair!
Soldier painfully drags himself back up to his feet, and he reaches down the front of his pants for something, popping something in his mouth.
Wait, what was that?
A little pick me up, perhaps?
Lux returns her attention to the champion and lifts the chair up high to do more damage, but Soldier wheels on her and SPITS A FIREBALL IN HER FACE!
OHH!
Lux, temporarily blinded, drops the chair. She puts some distance between herself and Soldier, wiping at her eyes frantically.
Here comes the cavalry!
Another ref runs down the aisle and around the side of the ring! Going to Lux first, he puts a hand on her shoulder but before he can speak she instinctively nails him with a brutal elbow strike to the side of the head! THE SECOND REF GOES DOWN!
They're dropping like flies!
Meanwhile, Soldier rises, grinning maliciously even though his face is covered in gore! He goes to Lux, who still appears to be struggling to see. Soldier laughs at her, and mockingly dances around her before popping her in the face with a jab! Lux reels, falling into the barricade,which Soldier then clotheslines her up and over!
Now amongst the crowd, Soldier climbs to the top of the barricade and waits for the challenger to rise before flying off and landing a picture perfect hurricarana on her! Lux spills further into the expensive seats, and the fans scatter and form a ring around the action. Lux gets up and Soldier intercepts her with a lock up. Lux knees shoulder in the cut, Soldier counters with an elbow to Lux's face. Lux staggers back and kicks wildly, nabbing Soldier in the shoulder. He stumbles, trips and falls over a chair. Lux drags her forearm across her eyes and blinks a few times, finally looking like she's getting her sight back!
They need to bring this back into the ring. We haven't even had an attempt at a pin yet!
Lux grabs another chair and cracks it across Soldier's back as he tries to get up! Faltering, he pushes through the ring of fans and escapes, tossing people aside and getting to the steps, which he plunges up. Lux gives chase and catches him, pulling him back towards her and landing another nasty kick to his midsection before throwing him down the stairs! Soldier rolls all the way back to the ground with Lux following soon after, kicking him until they reach the barricade once more. Lux tosses him back over just as the first ref starts to stir. Seeing this, Lux picks the ref up and rolls him in the ring. Then, going to Soldier she tries to take hold of him, but he catches her and pulls her down into a double knee lift (think Jericho's Code Breaker)!
Now with the advantage once more, Soldier lifts Lux up and drops her face first down into the ring apron! The ref, still a bit groggy but functional, starts to count them both down.
1....
2.....
3.....
Taking the hint, Soldier rolls Lux into the ring and follows after. He goes to the corner and hops up onto the top turnbuckle, taking flight into a flying clothesline....BUT LUX COUNTERS WITH A DROPKICK! And they both crash back down to the mat!
Just then, the fans start to react to some commotion at the entrance....PETER GILMOUR RUNS DOWN TO THE RING!
It's GILLY!
Oh, I don't like Lux's chances here!
Gilly produces....A BOTTLE OF BUTANE LIGHTER FLUID! He calls out to Soldier and tosses it into the ring! The ref sees it and yells at Gilly, picking the bottle up to throw it back!
Lux and Soldier both start to stir, Soldier grabs for Lux's leg and sinks his teeth into it! He's biting her! Lux kicks at the top of his head until he's force to disengage! Gilly gets on the ring apron as the ref continues to yell at him, waving the bottle of lighter fluid and demanding Gilly take it. Gilly refuses and shoves the ref into Lux! Lux pushes past the ref and she tags Gilly in the face with a flying roundhouse! Gilly falls off the ring apron and crashes to the floor! Lux picks up the bottle of lighter fluid and seems to consider it. The fans pop! But the ref snatches it from her....BUT THEN THE REF GETS HIT BY A REVERSE DDT FROM SOLDIER!
It doesn't get more blatant than that!!
Lux almost looked shocked at the brazenness of the champion's actions, but her resolve is steeled anew and she starts lighting him up with a series of chops, which then transitions into her GENOCIDE OVERDRIVE ATTACK COMBINATION! She finishes the combo with a sick clothesline before instinctively going for the cover! But the ref is out!
Suddenly, the other ref slides into the ring and starts making the count!!!
1....
2.....
GILLY PULLS THE REF OUT OF THE RING AND HITS A GILLY CUTTER ON HIM!
Lux mutters a curse when she sees this, and she makes a beeline for the ropes, diving over the top and landing on Gilly with a huge splash! The crowd pops!
But back in the ring, Soldier starts to rouse. He sees the lighter fluid! Grabbing at it greedily, he unscrews the cap and starts dumping it all over the ring.
Oh my God....
Features written with a manic glee, Soldier empties the whole bottle before tossing the empty out of the ring. Seeing Lux just getting up off of Gilly on the outside, he then launches himself over the top and splashes Lux! Soldier mounts Lux and punches her, before dragging her back into the ring. Then, rummaging around in his tights once more, he produces a match!
THAT LUNATIC IS GONNA BURN THE WHOLE PLACE DOWN!
Soldier looks around for a place to strike the match, and Lux starts to recover. She attacks Soldier from behind, rolling him up with a small package!
1....
2....
THERE'S STILL NO REF TO MAKE THE COUNT! Realizing this, Lux breaks the package and goes to a ref, trying to rouse him. Soldier looks around for the match he dropped when he got rolled up as Gilly rolls in the ring! Peter hefts Lux up and goes to punch her right in the face, but Lux ducks under the blow and counters with a big roundhouse to Gilly's face. Gilly trips over the downed ref and Lux follows it up with a senton splash to Gilly's head!
Soldier finds the match and he strikes it on the ring rope! It lights!
OH MY GOD! NO! NO!
Soldier drops the match! The center of the ring suddenly blazes to life! Lux turns on this in horror! One of the referee's is on fire, and Lux takes hold of him and pulls him out of the ring! She puts out the fire on his back! The other ref is jostled awake by the heat. His eyes go wide in response to the fire as it spreads and races up his pant leg! He bails from the ring, frantically trying to pad out the fire as he runs to the back!
Gilly also bails out of the ring before the fire can get to him! Seeing Lux, he starts to approach her and clotheslines her from behind! Lux rolls with the blow, racing around the ring to the far side. Soldier howls triumphantly at the flames and beckons Lux to join him in the burning ring! Lux's features twist with hate...AND SHE GETS IN THE RING!
They're both in the burning ring!!
Champion and challenger collide just outside the flames, trading blows back and forth as the fire spreads! Gilly looks on from the outside, hands on his head as he watches the action intently.
Lux rocks Soldier, and he almost falls into the fire before he recovers! Soldier fires back with a shot of his own and Lux backs up into the ropes! Soldier stays on her, punching wildly before grabbing her hair and trying to pull her into the flames! Lux takes hold of Soldier's arm then...turns....AND ARM DRAGS HIM INTO THE FIRE!
HE'S IN THE FIRE! MY GOD HE'S IN THOSE FLAMES!
Soldier cries out in pain as he tries to roll through the fire, but he emerges from them with singed clothing and hair! Lux, vengeance in her eyes, steps around the burgeoning inferno and intercepts the champion! Yanking him up by his burnt hair, she screams in his face and head butts him once..twice....THREE TIMES! Soldier sinks to his knees and Lux drops into a stance!
This could be IT!
LUX NAILS SOLDIER UPSIDE THE HEAD WITH HER PATENTED BUZZSAW KICK, “DIE”! The force of the blows sends Soldier right back into the fire!
Jesus, he's burning again!
And look at Lux! SHE'S WATCHING HIM BURN!
Soldier finally crawls out of the fire, skin reddened and smoking! He looks spent, like he's got nothing left! Gilly gets up on the ring apron, but the fire's burning too hot and it's eclipsing half the ring! Sweat pours down Lux's face as she grabs Soldier by the throat and lifts him up! Soldier starts to laugh in her face, a weak gasping thing, but a laugh nonetheless! Lux's expression contorts into a fury!
Members of the ring crew storm out from the back now, fire extinguishers in hand. They surround the ring and start blasting the flames, forcing Lux and Soldier to duck and cover as the blaze is extinguished! With the fire gone, Lux retrains her sights on Soldier. Soldier starts to crawl towards Gilly, who is still outside the ring. Gilly gets up on the ring apron, but another ref emerges from the back. He slides into the ring and immediately gets between Soldier and Peter Gilmour, imposing his authority! Soldier uses the ring ropes to get to his feet, but Lux leaps on his back and drags him to the mat, pulling him in deep and synching in the END OF AGES!
She's got it locked in!
Soldier starts to fight, trying to roll out and forcing Lux into the burnt portion of the ring! The mat splits and cracks beneath their weight and gives way! Soldier and Lux crash through the canvas to the floor beneath!
They're in the blackened hole! But Lux still hasn't let go!
Indeed, Lux still has the END OF AGES LOCKED IN TIGHT! Peter Gilmour, sensing the danger his friend is in, slides under the bottom rope! The ref is poised above the hole, watching the action! Gilly clambers towards the ref!
Soldier is fighting!
LUX HAS THE HOLD MAINTAINED!
GILLY'S GETTING CLOSER!
SOLDIER RAISES HIS HAND!
GILLY LIFTS A FIST, PREPARING TO BRING IT DOWN ON THE REF!
THE CROWD IS IN A TIZZY!
….....
….....
…......
…............
SOLDIER TAPS! SOLDIER TAPS!
He couldn't take it anymore! Lux looks like she's going to unscrew his head!
The ref makes the call just as Gilly's fist crashes down on his face! But it's too late!!!
Here is your winner....and NEW UNIVERSAL CHAMPION.....LUX!!!
Gilly pushes the ref out of the ring in a rage! Lux's theme starts to play but is cut short by the ongoing action in the ring! Lux still hasn't dropped the hold on Soldier, she keeps cranking his head further and further!!
She's gonna kill him! SHE'S DOING EXACTLY WHAT SHE SAID SHE WOULD!
Gilly drops down into the hole and takes hold of Lux by the hair! He rips her off of Soldier, saving his life! Gilly drags Lux out of the hole, and Lux fights back, kicking and punching back! Gilly is forced to let go and Lux clambers to her feet! Gilly lunges at her and Lux counters with the SUBMIT! Gilly drops like a sack of hammers!
Lux then rolls out of the ring, going to the unburnt half, and reaches underneath. SHE PULLS OUT HER SWORD!
OH MY GOD!
The fans are EXPLODING! Lux gets back in the ring with her sword. Gilly's still down! She drops back in that fire blackened pit! Soldier is laying prone in the center of it.
SHE'S GONNA DO IT! SHE'S REALLY GONNA DO IT!
Lux raises the sword, point down, ready to plunge it through Unknown Soldier's black heart! THE FAN BUZZ REACHES A CRESCENDO! THE ARENA IS ELECTRIC!
Suddenly....LUX STOPS! A strange look comes over her face, and her body wavers. The sword drops from her hands, landing next to Soldier harmlessly.
What...what's going on...?
Lux blinks, and she has to brace herself against the hole. Her expression suddenly slips from one of pure rage to something more closely resembling fear! Lux pries herself up out of the hole, but she can't even get to her feet, she can only crawl.
She looks so weak all of a sudden....what happened?!
IT'S MADISON DYSON!
Madison appears at the top of the walkway, beaming from ear to ear...and she's flanked by a cadre of her Blackwater Security goons! They approach the ring. Lux sees them coming and her mouth is literally frothing with rage! She tries to get up, but she just stumbles back down to the mat! Lux gets in the ring flanked by three of her goons as two more reach down into the hole to gather up Unknown Soldier. Peter Gilmour starts to rouse now too.
Madison approaches Lux, a vile smirk on her face as she prods her with her toe, rolling her into her back. Lux is seemingly helpless! She weeps tears of anger but can't seem to will her body to move anymore!
Madison sets in then on stomping the shit out of Lux!! Seeing this, Gilly pushes away the security guy who was helping him up and starts stomping the shit out of Lux too! Soldier has now been lifted out of the hole. He's battered, bloody, and burned, but it doesn't stop him from cackling wickedly at the sight of Madison and Gilmour tearing into Lux!
Madison then gets on top of Lux and starts smashing her in the face with her fists, swinging wildly and battering her as Lux lays helpless! Finally, Lux slips into unconsciousness. Madison gets up off of Lux, smiling satisfactorily as she indicates for the Blackwater grunts to lift Lux up. They do, and they lift her up and out of the ring. Gilly follows them out as Madison stays behind to ensure Soldier is also helped out and down to the aisleway.
The fans look on in confusion as Lux is carted off by her enemies!
What did we just see here?! Lux is the new Universal Champion! But something happened to her as she was about to land the killing blow on Unknown Soldier!
And now she's in the hands of her enemies. This isn't over, not by a long shot! Will we even have a Universal Champion? What are they going to do to her?!
I....I don't know. This is one of the damned strangest scenarios surrounding the Universal Championship we've seen in quite some time.
A HUGE Thank You to the following for their contributions to this show:
Tommy Wish
Lux
Noah Jackson
Mastermind
Robbie Bourbon
The Brothers Blackwater
BigD
Chris Page
John Samuels
Shane
The Management Team
Your mom
OOC: I haven't even read the whole show in detail yet but at first blush this might just be the best PPV I've seen here yet. So much going on, so much character development and so many angles happening at once. This is probably the most vibrant I've seen the XWF in the entire time I've been here. Whew!
The following 2 users Like Corey Smith's post:2 users Like Corey Smith's post Peter Fn Gilmour (12-01-2019), Theo Pryce (12-02-2019)
Just wanted to shoot yet another congratulations to the handler that I literally cannot defeat in any capacity...except for that one match nearly two years ago? Congratulations, Rubes!
And that marks the practical end of Sar on Anarchy. I'm not having her available for an Anarchy show at least until the end of this next PPV cycle, and I think that Ruby closing the lid on her while she's covered in trash is a fitting end to Sar on the brand!
The following 3 users Like Lacklan's post:3 users Like Lacklan's post Roxy Cotton (12-02-2019), Ruby (12-02-2019), Shawn Warstein (12-02-2019)
Sorry lux.. shit happens.. congrats on beating my best friend..
SUCK... MY... DICK!
3X Star of the Month
Former 3x Hart Champion
Former 13X Xtreme Champion
Former 6X Tag Champion
Former 2X Trios Champion
Former 2x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
Former Universal Champion
XWF FanBase: The IWC (gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)
Robert eyes the arenas parking lot with vigilance before greeting Steve with a vigorous handshake.
Steve: Robert, we haven’t seen you since Relentless! The question many have is are you in the right state of mind?
Robert grins
Good to see you too Steve. While I was off, I did a bit of soul searching, I took a long hard look at myself. And when you look at yourself, you’ve got to look in that mirror at the person staring back at you. You’ve got to admit who you are, but not just to yourself, you’ve got to admit it to everybody else. How we deal with disappointment decides the person we are. There’s still a hell of a lot to prove and I’ll be dammed if a short span in my history is overshadowed by everything that I have accomplished.
Steve: Just so we can confirm Robert “The Omega” Main is back?
Without hesitation Robert replies
Let’s just say this Steve.. There’s a lot of people who should have stayed in their holes. I’m here to put them back!
Former: x2 x2
Longest Reigning Tag Team Champions in modern history. W- Drew Archyle & James Raven
Longest Reigning Hart Champion in modern history:280 days
2nd longest reigning Universal Champion :269 days
Tag Team Champions W- "Chronic" Chris Page as Cataclysm
Trio's Champion W- AX3
2020 May Superstar Of The Month
Winning Team Wargames 2020
Winning Team War Games 2019 W- APEX PROPHECY
2019 Feud of the year W- "Chronic" Chris Page
2019 Tag Team of the Year W- Drew Archyle & James Raven as APEX
Roleplay of the Month February 2019 "Junkyard Dog"
Leap Of Faith Winner 2018
July 2018 Superstar Of The Month
December 2018 Superstar Of The Month
December 2017 Superstar Of The Month
Winning Team War Games 2017 W- APEX
Mr. 24/7
Sorry I was AWOL for a few weeks I was writing that beast of a /Page deal and the Gilmour/Slater affair. Really good show from top to bottom that was capped off by the return of Robert Main. My only SMH in shame moment was the no show of Soldier. He did a great job while running as champion to take on any challengers only to not be able to show here was kind of disheartening but it didn't stop Lux from bringing some fire in what will surely be RP's of the month.
FuZz continues to shine.
Centurion continues to shine.
Congrats to all the winners and congrats to all the role plays (which I'll be catching up on this week).
- HALL OF LEGENDS 2019
- 2019 Heel of the Year
- 2019 Locker Room Leader of the Year
- 2019 Feud of the Year w. Robert Main (you’re welcome)
- Former
With Robert "The Omega" Main
XWF World Heavyweight Champion
(12-02-2019, 03:15 AM)CCP Said: Sorry I was AWOL for a few weeks I was writing that beast of a /Page deal and the Gilmour/Slater affair. Really good show from top to bottom that was capped off by the return of Robert Main. My only SMH in shame moment was the no show of Soldier. He did a great job while running as champion to take on any challengers only to not be able to show here was kind of disheartening but it didn't stop Lux from bringing some fire in what will surely be RP's of the month.
FuZz continues to shine.
Centurion continues to shine.
Congrats to all the winners and congrats to all the role plays (which I'll be catching up on this week).
While it's definitely not the way I would have preferred it to go down, I'm sure Soldier had his reasons. It could have been personal, or maybe just burnt out. I know that feeling. I hope he can make it back here soon.
We see Robbie Bourbon sitting on the slab, his mask caked with dried blood. His blood. He his hunched over and barely notices the camera. He looks up at it.
XWF All Time Wins Record Holder
Official XWF Legend
3x XWF Anarchy Champion
3x XWF World Champion
8x XWF Canadian Champion (Record for most Canadian Title reigns)
1x XWF Hart Champion
6x XWF X-Treme Champion
5x XWF Tag Team Champion
2x XWF United States Champion
Inaugural XWF IDL Champion
1x XWF King of Anarchy
1x XWF King of Massacre
1x XWF Stable Champion
XWF Star Of The Month - May 2007
XWF Star Of The Month - July 2009
XWF Star Of The Month - December 2019
XWF Star Of The Month - December 2021
XWF Holiday Battle Royal Winner - 2007
The following 2 users Like Centurion's post:2 users Like Centurion's post Peter Fn Gilmour (12-02-2019), Sebastian Duke (12-02-2019)
(12-01-2019, 08:34 PM)Lacklan Said: Just wanted to shoot yet another congratulations to the handler that I literally cannot defeat in any capacity...except for that one match nearly two years ago? Congratulations, Rubes!
And that marks the practical end of Sar on Anarchy. I'm not having her available for an Anarchy show at least until the end of this next PPV cycle, and I think that Ruby closing the lid on her while she's covered in trash is a fitting end to Sar on the brand!
You've always brought out the best in me, whether it's in co-op or on opposite sides of the match-up. Thank you for being the greatest adversary and partner a handler could dream of.
The following 1 user Likes Ruby's post:1 user Likes Ruby's post Roxy Cotton (12-02-2019)
Scully
Registered but either hasn't added self to a roster yet or doesn't RP
XWF FanBase: The 'cool' kliq fans (booed by casual fans; opportunistic; often plays dirty while setting the trends)
XWF Roster Page
Joined: Sun Aug 03 2014
Posts: 809
399,156
Likes Given: 239
Likes Received: 395 in 219 posts
Hates Given: 8
Hates Received: 62 in 47 posts
Hates Given: 8
Hates Received: 62 in 47 posts
Reputation:
18 X-Bux: ✘80,716
"A successful night for yours truly. I said Thunder Knuckles little auction for title shot was a waste of time because I was going to win. I did exactly that!
So I get my XWF T.V Championship shot on the next Savage, right?
Oh wait... Donovan Blackwater, the guy who was in the same contendership match as me, lost but gets a shot before me?!
Jokes!
To make it worse, I get an invitation to make it a Triple Threat match? Go fuck yourself! The only T.V Championship match I will be accepting is Scully and Noah, one on one..
Welcome to the corrupted Xtreme Wrestling Federation!
(12-02-2019, 03:33 PM)Scully Said: "A successful night for yours truly. I said Thunder Knuckles little auction for title shot was a waste of time because I was going to win. I did exactly that!
So I get my XWF T.V Championship shot on the next Savage, right?
Oh wait... Donovan Blackwater, the guy who was in the same contendership match as me, lost but gets a shot before me?!
Jokes!
To make it worse, I get an invitation to make it a Triple Threat match? Go fuck yourself! The only T.V Championship match I will be accepting is Scully and Noah, one on one..
Welcome to the corrupted Xtreme Wrestling Federation!
#MADE4TV #justsaying"
"Oh geez, cunt sucks to be you don't it? Maybe if you actually tried to stick to a full-time job for once in your pathetic life you would have been on Savage and we could have had our one on one, but instead you got it stuck in your thick skull that you thought you were gonna lose to those cunts and decided to not even bother showing any initiative whatsoever. Now, instead of being like 'ah fuck me, should have proven that I'm a decent challenger and jumped into Savage at the right moment.' You cry like a sackless little shit. If you're gonna go after how cooked XWF is, go for a real reason like me and pops do, not invent one because you're a talentless fucktard whose entire career amounts to a footnote on the XWF fan wiki."
FORMER:
W | L | D
226 | 11 | 81
Star of the Month (August 2019)
1/3 Star of the Month (January 2020) with Fuzz and our Subaru
RP of the Month (November 2019) with Big Disappointment
Holder of the most wins in the XWF (Mostly house shows)
Holder of the most draws in XWF (All on Anarchy)
Winner of Sickest Cunt of the Year 2020
Winner of Greatest Wrestler who ever lived 2022
Holder of the world's rarest pog collection (Valued at $200)
Owner of Ned Kaye's cat that Ned named Deepthroat for some weird reason
Voted most feared man by Centurion (Twice!)
The following 1 user Likes Noah Jackson's post:1 user Likes Noah Jackson's post Shawn Warstein (12-02-2019)
Invited for a triple threat match you say? By who was this offer extended?
Reality is though, only person to ever lose the Universal Title to Peter Gilmour, you should welcome with open arms a triple threat match. This way you can walk out of the match without the title like you most assuredly will anyway but still potentially be able to save face by blaming it on whoever the third wheel in the match is. It's like a win win for career losers. Which, in case you weren't aware, is exactly what you are.
The following 1 user Likes Theo Pryce's post:1 user Likes Theo Pryce's post Shawn Warstein (12-02-2019)
(12-02-2019, 03:42 PM)Theo Pryce Said: Invited for a triple threat match you say? By who was this offer extended?
Reality is though, only person to ever lose the Universal Title to Peter Gilmour, you should welcome with open arms a triple threat match. This way you can walk out of the match without the title like you most assuredly will anyway but still potentially be able to save face by blaming it on whoever the third wheel in the match is. It's like a win win for career losers. Which, in case you weren't aware, is exactly what you are.
"Still going on about this Gilmour shit? It's old like you! I'd rather go down fighting.
The offer was made by.. Well, you know exactly who it was......
It was...
YOU!
I know you're gonna deny it too but like I said... Corrupted XWF!
To think Noah agreed with you too, pfffttt...
I beat Sebastian Dukes son and I'll happily beat Fuzz's little bitch too
Yes, Noah.. I'm talking to you! But hey you just accept an easy title defense against Donovan Blackwater! Fanny!"
See that's the difference between career losers like you and Legends like me. You think that going down fighting is some badge of honor you should wear with pride while I prefer to not go down at all. A stance your mum apparently also has because now here I am stuck talking to you.
Scully
Registered but either hasn't added self to a roster yet or doesn't RP
XWF FanBase: The 'cool' kliq fans (booed by casual fans; opportunistic; often plays dirty while setting the trends)
XWF Roster Page
Joined: Sun Aug 03 2014
Posts: 809
399,156
Likes Given: 239
Likes Received: 395 in 219 posts
Hates Given: 8
Hates Received: 62 in 47 posts
Hates Given: 8
Hates Received: 62 in 47 posts
Reputation:
18 X-Bux: ✘80,716
(12-02-2019, 04:05 PM)Theo Pryce Said: See that's the difference between career losers like you and Legends like me. You think that going down fighting is some badge of honor you should wear with pride while I prefer to not go down at all. A stance your mum apparently also has because now here I am stuck talking to you.
"Mum jokes? To say you're management? Embarrassing! The Union would've destroyed The Queens!
Your only a legend cuz you sucked off management! And hey... Your management now?! Convenient!
I'm a legend in my own right! Vinnie Lane NEVER beat me. Gilmour beat me for the XWF Universal Championship, NO ONE has lost the Uni to Gilly in well... EVER.. Apart from me! Ghost Wank won the Xtreme Championship because of me! Look at all these records I break, I'm unique... Fuck your negativity, old man. Stay in your little office and continue to be corrupted!"
"Cunt, every single title defence I have will be an easy win for me. Especially when I fix your teeth you British cunt mongrel. So, when you're done crying and waiting in a queue like a beta cuck, tell me when you want to add another loss to that cum sock you call a record. That's if you don't bitch out if the company again before I finish my sentence. "
" Y'know, it's actually fine me and Pryce are on the same wavelength this time because taking the piss out if you is just so easy and the hilarious part is, you can't even work up a single solid comeback. Fucking Theo made a mum joke so you respond with a gay joke? Fucking pathetic, cunt. No wonder you hang out with the mentally handicapped, at least then you know you're only the second dumbest cunt in the room. "
FORMER:
W | L | D
226 | 11 | 81
Star of the Month (August 2019)
1/3 Star of the Month (January 2020) with Fuzz and our Subaru
RP of the Month (November 2019) with Big Disappointment
Holder of the most wins in the XWF (Mostly house shows)
Holder of the most draws in XWF (All on Anarchy)
Winner of Sickest Cunt of the Year 2020
Winner of Greatest Wrestler who ever lived 2022
Holder of the world's rarest pog collection (Valued at $200)
Owner of Ned Kaye's cat that Ned named Deepthroat for some weird reason
Voted most feared man by Centurion (Twice!)
The following 1 user Likes Noah Jackson's post:1 user Likes Noah Jackson's post Shawn Warstein (12-02-2019)
Scully
Registered but either hasn't added self to a roster yet or doesn't RP
XWF FanBase: The 'cool' kliq fans (booed by casual fans; opportunistic; often plays dirty while setting the trends)
XWF Roster Page
Joined: Sun Aug 03 2014
Posts: 809
399,156
Likes Given: 239
Likes Received: 395 in 219 posts
Hates Given: 8
Hates Received: 62 in 47 posts
Hates Given: 8
Hates Received: 62 in 47 posts
Reputation:
18 X-Bux: ✘80,716
(12-02-2019, 04:22 PM)Noah Jackson Said: "Cunt, every single title defence I have will be an easy win for me. Especially when I fix your teeth you British cunt mongrel. So, when you're done crying and waiting in a queue like a beta cuck, tell me when you want to add another loss to that cum sock you call a record. That's if you don't bitch out if the company again before I finish my sentence. "
" Y'know, it's actually fine me and Pryce are on the same wavelength this time because taking the piss out if you is just so easy and the hilarious part is, you can't even work up a single solid comeback. Fucking Theo made a mum joke so you respond with a gay joke? Fucking pathetic, cunt. No wonder you hang out with the mentally handicapped, at least then you know you're only the second dumbest cunt in the room. "
"Does daddy approve of this ass kissing? Better check with him, you don't want a smacked bottom!
By the way I have more than one member of my Flock of Tards... There's Tom, Lenny, Ruby, Charlotte and Sloth. That's five! Thought I'd better do the maths for you, seeing as your papa didn't teach you to count. You wont be able to count to five on your little hands when I snap your fingers off!
Now whose young, dumb and full of cum? NOAH JACKSON, that's who! Want to become a member of my Flock? You've already proved your an ass kisser, so why not be a window licker too?
(12-02-2019, 04:22 PM)Noah Jackson Said: " Fucking pathetic, cunt. No wonder you hang out with the mentally handicapped, at least then you know you're only the second dumbest cunt in the room. "
Banner Made By: @reinventiongfx
The following 1 user Likes Shawn Warstein's post:1 user Likes Shawn Warstein's post Noah Jackson (12-02-2019)
(12-02-2019, 04:34 PM)Scully Said: "Does daddy approve of this ass kissing? Better check with him, you don't want a smacked bottom!
By the way I have more than one member of my Flock of Tards... There's Tom, Lenny, Ruby, Charlotte and Sloth. That's five! Thought I'd better do the maths for you, seeing as your papa didn't teach you to count. You wont be able to count to five on your little hands when I snap your fingers off!
Now whose young, dumb and full of cum? NOAH JACKSON, that's who! Want to become a member of my Flock? You've already proved your an ass kisser, so why not be a window licker too?
We have crayons?!"
"Jesus fucking christ you are a special kind of cooked ain't you, cunt? When I said you're the second dumbest in your group, I meant there's at least ONE person dumber than you and THE REST are smarter. We clear? Shall I speak slower? Would a fucking PowerPoint presentation help you process what I just said? Also, still waiting on a solid comeback here Sloth. Fuck, I'd even take the date of the Savage you want to get embarrassed on like I asked. "
" Fucking go suck an exhaust tip you fucking pussy. "
FORMER:
W | L | D
226 | 11 | 81
Star of the Month (August 2019)
1/3 Star of the Month (January 2020) with Fuzz and our Subaru
RP of the Month (November 2019) with Big Disappointment
Holder of the most wins in the XWF (Mostly house shows)
Holder of the most draws in XWF (All on Anarchy)
Winner of Sickest Cunt of the Year 2020
Winner of Greatest Wrestler who ever lived 2022
Holder of the world's rarest pog collection (Valued at $200)
Owner of Ned Kaye's cat that Ned named Deepthroat for some weird reason
"Lemme get this straight. Scully pins Overton, for the win. The entire premise of the match is to crown the number one contender for the Television title and somehow, I get the shot. I didn't eat the pin but I didn't win the match either. Scully should be in this fight and yet, I am the future contender for the TV title."
"Oh this is fantastic! Priceless even! Precisely the mockery I hoped for. Bravo XWF management team! Bravo! You have really outdone yourselves. Hey Scully... I bet you feel like a real 'winner' now. Unlike you, I didn't even need to try or attempt to give a shit and I got a shot at the title. What the fuck was the match set to prove? When the dude that didn't win gets the prize? Ahahaha! I guess that box of cigars and bottle of bourbon that I sent to Theo for Thanksgiving paid off! Oh shit! Did I say that out loud?!?!"
Donovan Blackwater
Former 1x...
The following 1 user Likes The Brothers Blackwater's post:1 user Likes The Brothers Blackwater's post Thunder Knuckles™ (12-03-2019)
" I guess that box of cigars and bottle of bourbon that I sent to Theo for Thanksgiving pain off! Oh shit! Did I say that out loud?!?!"
The bottle never made it to my house but based on the way you are slurring your words I now understand why. Something tells me this isn't the first time you've done this either.
The following 1 user Likes Theo Pryce's post:1 user Likes Theo Pryce's post The Brothers Blackwater (12-03-2019)
Thunder Knuckles is questioning my intelligence and how I won the match? Donovan Blackwater, who seems proud he ass kissed his way to a title shot, proves he has no bollocks and no integrity?
The fact is this... This Dumb Cunt, 'Da Dumb Cunt' outsmarted all three of my opponents to win the match. Thunder Knuckles is dumb enough to auction a TV title opportunity he didn't even win
Donovan is dumb enough to play bait to the XWF management just so Noah gets an easy first title defence! Not only that but Noah himself proves what a weasel he really is when he'd happily accept a title match against a guy who didn't even earn it! Hahahahaha
Now that's Theo Pryceless! Tag-team me, triple team me, quadruple team me, I couldn't give a fuck.. You're ALL obsessed with Scully. Skull will not stop wearing his Calvin Klein obsession for MEN.. Hence why none of you vagina's can wear it!"
(12-03-2019, 12:48 PM)Scully Said: "Let me get this straight....
Thunder Knuckles is questioning my intelligence and how I won the match? Donovan Blackwater, who seems proud he ass kissed his way to a title shot, proves he has no bollocks and no integrity?
The fact is this... This Dumb Cunt, 'Da Dumb Cunt' outsmarted all three of my opponents to win the match. Thunder Knuckles is dumb enough to auction a TV title opportunity he didn't even win
Donovan is dumb enough to play bait to the XWF management just so Noah gets an easy first title defence! Not only that but Noah himself proves what a weasel he really is when he'd happily accept a title match against a guy who didn't even earn it! Hahahahaha
Now that's Theo Pryceless! Tag-team me, triple team me, quadruple team me, I couldn't give a fuck.. You're ALL obsessed with Scully. Skull will not stop wearing his Calvin Klein obsession for MEN.. Hence why none of you vagina's can wear it!"
"No bollocks and no integrity? Says the man that cried when he was forced to team with Robbie Bourbon. Cried. Like a little girl. Shaking and shivering. We had to buy you Cornetto ice cream and let you watch 13 Reasons Why. You were inconsolable for days. Lux was right there with me, shaking her head at your sad state of affairs. It was pathetic at best and yet, here you are questioning my testicular fortitude. That's adorable. Really. But you see Scully, for your words to hold merit, you would have to matter in my world and you do not. Not in the slightest. Your opinions matter not in the grand scheme of things because you obviously don't mean anything to this company. You won the fucking match and didn't reap the reward, what does that say about you as a living being in this company... nothing good, obviously. You are a joke. So think what you like, it makes no difference in the end. You won your match and it didn't matter. No one cared and they gave the shot to me. Noah Jackson and I will have a tremendous match. Unlike you, I respect him. He knows what he is... to the bare core of it - a sick cunt, through and through. In the end, we will have the match that folks remember. Our battle will be legendary, rather than the joke you would have provided. Awww... sad face, should I fetch you a tissue, you look like you're about to start crying again."
Donovan Blackwater
Former 1x...
Scully
Registered but either hasn't added self to a roster yet or doesn't RP
XWF FanBase: The 'cool' kliq fans (booed by casual fans; opportunistic; often plays dirty while setting the trends)
XWF Roster Page
Joined: Sun Aug 03 2014
Posts: 809
399,156
Likes Given: 239
Likes Received: 395 in 219 posts
Hates Given: 8
Hates Received: 62 in 47 posts
Hates Given: 8
Hates Received: 62 in 47 posts
Reputation:
18 X-Bux: ✘80,716
(12-03-2019, 12:48 PM)Scully Said: "Let me get this straight....
Thunder Knuckles is questioning my intelligence and how I won the match? Donovan Blackwater, who seems proud he ass kissed his way to a title shot, proves he has no bollocks and no integrity?
The fact is this... This Dumb Cunt, 'Da Dumb Cunt' outsmarted all three of my opponents to win the match. Thunder Knuckles is dumb enough to auction a TV title opportunity he didn't even win
Donovan is dumb enough to play bait to the XWF management just so Noah gets an easy first title defence! Not only that but Noah himself proves what a weasel he really is when he'd happily accept a title match against a guy who didn't even earn it! Hahahahaha
Now that's Theo Pryceless! Tag-team me, triple team me, quadruple team me, I couldn't give a fuck.. You're ALL obsessed with Scully. Skull will not stop wearing his Calvin Klein obsession for MEN.. Hence why none of you vagina's can wear it!"
"No bollocks and no integrity? Says the man that cried when he was forced to team with Robbie Bourbon. Cried. Like a little girl. Shaking and shivering. We had to buy you Cornetto ice cream and let you watch 13 Reasons Why. You were inconsolable for days. Lux was right there with me, shaking her head at your sad state of affairs. It was pathetic at best and yet, here you are questioning my testicular fortitude. That's adorable. Really. But you see Scully, for your words to hold merit, you would have to matter in my world and you do not. Not in the slightest. Your opinions matter not in the grand scheme of things because you obviously don't mean anything to this company. You won the fucking match and didn't reap the reward, what does that say about you as a living being in this company... nothing good, obviously. You are a joke. So think what you like, it makes no difference in the end. You won your match and it didn't matter. No one cared and they gave the shot to me. Noah Jackson and I will have a tremendous match. Unlike you, I respect him. He knows what he is... to the bare core of it - a sick cunt, through and through. In the end, we will have the match that folks remember. Our battle will be legendary, rather than the joke you would have provided. Awww... sad face, should I fetch you a tissue, you look like you're about to start crying again."
"First and foremost, the fact you have lie and talk utter shite, proves you have NO integrity. The fact you have to try and bullshit your way to still lose an argument, tells me how stupid you are! Sure, I didn't want to team with Robbie Bourbon but I did and didn't complain about it either! I got on with it. That's it! What also says alot about you, is the fact both your brothers got involved at LL and you still couldn't win! Hahaha how lame are you?!
Have ya little title shot, you'll only lose anyway. And me? Well I still have my title opportunity whenever the fuck I want, you little bitch!"
Chris Page
Registered but either hasn't added self to a roster yet or doesn't RP
XWF FanBase: Very random (heel alignment but liked by many; has earned respect despite breaking the rules often)
(Where is my roster page?)
Joined: Thu Apr 25 2019
Posts: 426
843,734
Likes Given: 503
Likes Received: 1,232 in 340 posts
Hates Given: 35
Hates Received: 87 in 68 posts
Hates Given: 35
Hates Received: 87 in 68 posts
Reputation:
99 X-Bux: ✘17,448
(12-03-2019, 01:20 PM)Chris Chaos Said: People still bitching about nonsense. I see not very much has changed since I have been gone..........
Couldn't have said it better myself.
- HALL OF LEGENDS 2019
- 2019 Heel of the Year
- 2019 Locker Room Leader of the Year
- 2019 Feud of the Year w. Robert Main (you’re welcome)
- Former
With Robert "The Omega" Main
XWF World Heavyweight Champion
(12-03-2019, 12:48 PM)Scully Said: "Let me get this straight....
Thunder Knuckles is questioning my intelligence and how I won the match? Donovan Blackwater, who seems proud he ass kissed his way to a title shot, proves he has no bollocks and no integrity?
The fact is this... This Dumb Cunt, 'Da Dumb Cunt' outsmarted all three of my opponents to win the match. Thunder Knuckles is dumb enough to auction a TV title opportunity he didn't even win
Donovan is dumb enough to play bait to the XWF management just so Noah gets an easy first title defence! Not only that but Noah himself proves what a weasel he really is when he'd happily accept a title match against a guy who didn't even earn it! Hahahahaha
Now that's Theo Pryceless! Tag-team me, triple team me, quadruple team me, I couldn't give a fuck.. You're ALL obsessed with Scully. Skull will not stop wearing his Calvin Klein obsession for MEN.. Hence why none of you vagina's can wear it!"
"No bollocks and no integrity? Says the man that cried when he was forced to team with Robbie Bourbon. Cried. Like a little girl. Shaking and shivering. We had to buy you Cornetto ice cream and let you watch 13 Reasons Why. You were inconsolable for days. Lux was right there with me, shaking her head at your sad state of affairs. It was pathetic at best and yet, here you are questioning my testicular fortitude. That's adorable. Really. But you see Scully, for your words to hold merit, you would have to matter in my world and you do not. Not in the slightest. Your opinions matter not in the grand scheme of things because you obviously don't mean anything to this company. You won the fucking match and didn't reap the reward, what does that say about you as a living being in this company... nothing good, obviously. You are a joke. So think what you like, it makes no difference in the end. You won your match and it didn't matter. No one cared and they gave the shot to me. Noah Jackson and I will have a tremendous match. Unlike you, I respect him. He knows what he is... to the bare core of it - a sick cunt, through and through. In the end, we will have the match that folks remember. Our battle will be legendary, rather than the joke you would have provided. Awww... sad face, should I fetch you a tissue, you look like you're about to start crying again."
"First and foremost, the fact you have lie and talk utter shite, proves you have NO integrity. The fact you have to try and bullshit your way to still lose an argument, tells me how stupid you are! Sure, I didn't want to team with Robbie Bourbon but I did and didn't complain about it either! I got on with it. That's it! What also says alot about you, is the fact both your brothers got involved at LL and you still couldn't win! Hahaha how lame are you?!
Have ya little title shot, you'll only lose anyway. And me? Well I still have my title opportunity whenever the fuck I want, you little bitch!"
Ladies. Let's keep it civil, eh?
Save this for promo's back and forth whenever it is what you two waste our time with a match. Stop shelling out this polished turd you think is gold and save it for when it actually matters.........
.........not that is ever does, coming from you two.
(12-03-2019, 02:30 PM)Scully Said: "First and foremost, the fact you have lie and talk utter shite, proves you have NO integrity. The fact you have to try and bullshit your way to still lose an argument, tells me how stupid you are! Sure, I didn't want to team with Robbie Bourbon but I did and didn't complain about it either! I got on with it. That's it! What also says alot about you, is the fact both your brothers got involved at LL and you still couldn't win! Hahaha how lame are you?!
Have ya little title shot, you'll only lose anyway. And me? Well I still have my title opportunity whenever the fuck I want, you little bitch!"
"You speak like someone that has something worth saying. You don't. Not now, not ever. Your worth was proven. When you won and didn't achieve the prize. You got the shaft. You were bent over a dumpster and fucked. I wasn't even really trying and I got gifted with the very thing that you were fighting for with all your might. You tried with every fiber of your being and won and it didn't matter. You can word it any way you like but the fact of the matter is this... you are one of the few, the man that won his match and still lost at the same time. You were treated like a loser and yet, you won. And it doesn't matter if you set a different date of your choosing dum dum, the point of this battle was to select the number one contender and I got the shot. Because at the end of the day, nobody wants to see Scully in a match, especially not one that matters. Come on Fluffernutter, why else do you think you were the last pick in War Games? The only reason you won was cause you were on a team of your betters. Just ask everyone. Even your band of knows the truth."
Save this for promo's back and forth whenever it is what you two waste our time with a match. Stop shelling out this polished turd you think is gold and save it for when it actually matters.........
.........not that is ever does, coming from you two.
"Chris Chaos, are you talking?"
Donovan Blackwater
Former 1x...
The following 1 user Likes The Brothers Blackwater's post:1 user Likes The Brothers Blackwater's post Peter Fn Gilmour (12-03-2019)
![[-]](https://xwf99.com/images/portal2/collapse.gif)
The following 18 users Like Theo Pryce's post:
![[Image: Thumbnail?maxwidth=630]](http://ccss.jhblive.com/Image/Venue/(5005)/Thumbnail?maxwidth=630)
are exchanging right hands to a HUGE ovation from the crowd as PAGE drives a knee into the midsection of ![[Image: tJEovtN.png]](https://i.imgur.com/tJEovtN.png)
![[Image: nF2xZ5m.png]](https://i.imgur.com/nF2xZ5m.png)
![[Image: HQtIHkQ.png]](https://i.imgur.com/HQtIHkQ.png)
![[Image: vZFCOjr.png]](https://i.imgur.com/vZFCOjr.png)
![[Image: Z82b6G7.png]](https://i.imgur.com/Z82b6G7.png)
![[Image: NhpNCu5.png?1]](https://i.imgur.com/NhpNCu5.png?1)
![[Image: jMQER2A.png]](https://i.imgur.com/jMQER2A.png)
![[Image: ff5Kb3uh.jpg]](https://i.imgur.com/ff5Kb3uh.jpg)
![[Image: kNhW3bD.jpg]](https://i.imgur.com/kNhW3bD.jpg)
![[Image: 5fzC71H.png]](https://i.imgur.com/5fzC71H.png)
![[Image: AaZU6Du.png]](https://i.imgur.com/AaZU6Du.png)
![[Image: q7KNij3.png]](https://i.imgur.com/q7KNij3.png)
![[Image: jkzUfQN.png]](https://i.imgur.com/jkzUfQN.png)
![[Image: UIsdHGr.png]](https://i.imgur.com/UIsdHGr.png)
![[Image: 4ocbhRx.png?1]](https://i.imgur.com/4ocbhRx.png?1)
![[Image: XCwEiv2.png]](https://i.imgur.com/XCwEiv2.png)
![[Image: iwofq6s.png]](https://i.imgur.com/iwofq6s.png)
![[Image: OZdvB4F.png]](https://i.imgur.com/OZdvB4F.png)
![[Image: l6KRzu8.png]](https://i.imgur.com/l6KRzu8.png)
![[Image: CoreySig6A.png?width=270&height=406]](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/741829347911925781/764616520826617856/CoreySig6A.png?width=270&height=406)
![[Image: yPandTo.png]](https://i.imgur.com/yPandTo.png)
![[Image: newtngb.png?ex=661f68da&is=660cf3da&hm=6...9be1b4b4b&]](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/657078480676061205/1224965316636049488/newtngb.png?ex=661f68da&is=660cf3da&hm=6f5d389c91aa6d8a5ed0b3a2798d5b14cb685ffca9dc3b62ce2fe119be1b4b4b&)
![[Image: 6x9xFnQ.png]](https://i.imgur.com/6x9xFnQ.png)
![[Image: nLYNvyj.png]](https://i.imgur.com/nLYNvyj.png)
x2![[Image: fMJwa5h.png]](https://i.imgur.com/fMJwa5h.png)
x2![[Image: WPoUWuI.png]](https://i.imgur.com/WPoUWuI.png)
![[Image: Qfgvjya.png]](https://i.imgur.com/Qfgvjya.png)
![[Image: xD2CdbJ.png]](https://i.imgur.com/xD2CdbJ.png)
![[Image: OW3ycxe.png]](https://i.imgur.com/OW3ycxe.png)
![[Image: DtUCPfZ.png]](https://i.imgur.com/DtUCPfZ.png)
![[Image: UdLSPlv.png]](https://i.imgur.com/UdLSPlv.png)
![[Image: dY7KZz4.png]](https://i.imgur.com/dY7KZz4.png)
![[Image: giphy.gif]](https://i.giphy.com/media/26AHszU183LU0wa6A/giphy.gif)
![[Image: 193QVMb.png]](https://imgur.com/193QVMb.png)
![[Image: so-cute-gif.gif]](http://www.gifvideos.net/files/photos/2017/11/so-cute-gif.gif)
![[Image: vp1uvfb.jpg]](https://i.imgur.com/vp1uvfb.jpg)
![[Image: iNVRm0X.jpg]](https://i.imgur.com/iNVRm0X.jpg)
![[Image: jtHw5j1.png]](https://i.imgur.com/jtHw5j1.png)
